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When It's Hard to Forgive

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When It's Hard to Forgive Wheelersburg Baptist Church 2/2/2020 Brad Brandt Matthew 18:21-35 “Making Christ Known Through Forgiving Others”**1 Main Idea: One of the most powerful ways to make Christ known to a lost world is through forgiving others as we have been forgiven. In Jesus' parable in Matthew 18:21-35 we see three things that can help us when we find it hard to forgive. I. The controversy regarding forgiveness (21-22) A. It was true for Peter. B. It is true for us. 1. How can I forgive if I can't forget? 2. How can I forgive if I don't feel like it? II. The comparison regarding forgiveness (23-34) A. Scene #1: A king was merciful to his servant (23-27). 1. His servant owed a great debt. 2. He canceled the debt. B. Scene #2: The servant was unmerciful to another servant (28-31). 1. His fellow servant owed a smaller debt. 2. He refused to cancel the debt. C. Scene #3: The king rebuked his unmerciful servant (32-34). III. The climax regarding forgiveness (35) A. I've been forgiven far more than I'll ever forgive. B. If I'm unwilling to forgive, something's wrong with my relationship with God. Make It Personal: What should you do when you find it hard to forgive? 1. Remember how much God forgave you. 2. Choose to forgive others as you have been forgiven. How do we make our Savior known to a lost world? This is our mission, to make Christ known, but how do we do it? By verbal witness, certainly. But how do we do it when those who need to hear what we have to say don’t want to hear? The Lord has given us two very compelling (and often neglected) ways to make Him known to a lost world. Frankly, both are painful yet incredibly powerful. One way, as we’ll see today, is through forgiving. The other, as we’ll see next week (the Lord willing), is through suffering. When we forgive, we are portraying Christ. When we suffer well, we are likewise portraying Christ in a way the world cannot miss. I’m going to read a passage, but before I do I want you to have some information. A “talent” is a monetary unit worth about 20 years wages for a common laborer. A “denarius” was one day’s wages for a laborer2. The first servant in the story owes 10,000 talents which is a debt that would take him 200,000 years of daily work to repay. The second servant owes 100 denarii which would take him 100 days of daily work to repay. Scripture Reading: Matthew 18:21-35 The telephone rings one evening, and on the other end is your friend from church, Sally. She's crying uncontrollably, and in between sobs you piece together the story. She says she's had it with her husband, Pete. After eleven, rocky years of marriage, she’s decided to call it quits. “I just don’t love him anymore. He’s let me down too many times, and I’ve had enough. How can I forgive him when I can't forget what he's done to me?" What would you say to Sally? **Note: This is an unedited manuscript of a message preached at Wheelersburg Baptist Church. It is provided to prompt your continued reflection on the practical truths of the Word of God. 1 This passage was looked at WBC previously in 1997, “Stories That Touch the Heart,” three of Jesus’ parables dealing with forgiveness. 2 ESV footnote Or what would you do if, one of your best friends, Roger, hurt you deeply. You and Roger had been through thick and thin together. You came to know Christ at about the same time five years ago. You've worked in the church together. You've taken family vacations together. But last year, he shared with other people a personal item you'd mentioned to him in confidence. Since then, to no surprise, your friendship has been strained. Whereas you used to enjoy being together, now you both avoid each other. And the gangrene is starting to spread, for others are seeing it and starting to take sides. What are you going to do? Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. Those of course are Jesus’ words of instruction for how we are to pray. He makes it clear that there is a vital connetion between how our Father treats us when we sin and how we treat others when they sin against us. One of the most powerful ways we can make Christ known to this lost world is through forgiving others the same way we have been forgiven by God. Forgiveness is so God-like. It can be mocked, yes, misunderstood, certainly, but it can’t be ignored. It's not easy to forgive. Marriages have dissolved and friendships have been scarred because of a failure to exercise biblical forgiveness. Churches have split and families have been torn apart because of a lack of forgiveness. But on the other hand, untold numbers have been drawn to Christ by the magnetic power of seeing a Christian choose to forgive an offender. I think of Mincaye, the former Auca warrior who speared to death missionary Nate Saint (and Ed McCully). Christ not only saved Mincaye, but He gave Nate’s son Steve the ability not only to forgive, but to call Mincaye “father,” and Steve’s children call him “grandfather.” Years after the killings, Mincaye actually baptized Steve Saint and his sister, and then years later still, he baptized Jamie Saint and his brother. Only the powerful gospel of Christ can produce this kind of underserved, God-like forgiveness, and when it does, people can’t help but see it and be amazed.3 Is it easy to forgive? No. That’s why it’s so compelling. It’s one of the most evangelistic things we’ll ever do for the lost people in this world. Forgive as we have been forgiven. To help us do just that, Jesus told the shocking story recorded in Matthew 18:21-35. It’s called the parable of the unmerciful servant, and it’s here we see three things that can help us when we find it hard to forgive. I. The controversy regarding forgiveness (21-22) Actually, Matthew 18 begins on a note of controversy when the disciples ask Jesus (1), "Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?" That question sets the tone for Jesus' teaching in chapter 18. It has to do with the kind of relationships Jesus desires his disciples to have. God delights in restoring broken people, and so should we. Little people matter to God, and should to us (the point of verses 1-6). When a sheep leaves the fold, the shepherd goes after it. So we should pursue the wayward sheep (10-14). In fact, Jesus tells us how to restore broken people in verses 15-19. He instructs us concerning the discipline process, for in order to restore a wayward member of the 3By the way, Mincaye turned 90 last year, and is in a wheelchair fitted for him by Joni’s organization, Wheels for the World. https://www.epm.org/blog/2019/Jun/26/update-mincaye 2 church, confrontation is in order. We're to go after people. We love God and the person too much to allow them to live in persistent sin. Jesus' teaching is very practical. He says in verse 15, "If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over." What if he doesn't listen? Jesus says to take one or two others along as you plead with him to repent and be restored. What if he resists these efforts? Jesus says, tell it to the church. What if he refuses to respond to the church? Jesus explains (17), "Treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector." But what if your brother does repent? What if the Spirit pricks his heart, and your brother asks you to forgive him for what he did to you? You forgive him. That’s the goal the church is after in the discipline process, to see repentance and forgiveness take place. But what if your brother does it again? Then what should you do? How far should you go in this granting of forgiveness? That's what Peter wanted to know. There is a controversy regarding forgiveness. A. It was true for Peter. Verse 21, "Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" Keep the context in mind. Jesus just finished mapping out what to do when a fellow Christian sins against you. First, you confront his sin, face to face, out of love for your brother. Sadly, far too often we don’t confront. It’s much easier to talk to someone else about it (which is gossip), or to bury it and hope it goes away (which it never does). But Jesus says the right thing to do is to confront your brother and get the sin out on the table. Then what? What should we do if the confronted person asks for our forgiveness? And what if they ask us to forgive them today for the same sin we just forgave yesterday? That's what Peter is asking.
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