Penny Press All 10 “Chase” Drivers Scheduled To Test At LVMS See Story, Schedule Page 2 THE PENNY PRESS, JANUARY 13, 2005 PAGE 2 Las Vegas Motor Speedway Important NASCAR Test Date By JEFF MOTLEY scheduled for the two-day Busch test. Special To The Penny Press The speedway’s grandstands will be open to the public free of charge all four days. The testing starts at 9 a.m. and will conclude at 5 p.m. each day. Just how important is Preseason Thunder Las Vegas? All 10 drivers in last year’s Chase for the Nextel Cup have indicated Following is a complete list of the drivers scheduled to test. they will visit LVMS Jan. 31 and Feb. 1 to prepare for the March 13 UAW- DaimlerChrysler 400. In 2004, eight of the 10 drivers who made the Chase Nextel Cup drivers (Jan. 31-Feb. 1): John Andretti, Greg Biffle, Dave Blaney, for the Championship tested in Las Vegas. Mike Bliss, Kurt Busch, Kyle Busch, Dale Earnhardt Jr., Carl Edwards, Jeff The top-10 drivers from 2004 are part of a record list of 35 NASCAR Gordon, Jeff Green, Kevin Harvick, Dale Jarrett, Jimmie Johnson, Kasey Nextel Cup Series drivers who will attend the two-day test on the 1.5- Kahne, Matt Kenseth, Travis Kvapil, Bobby Labonte, Jason Leffler, Sterling mile superspeedway. The testing list includes Dale Earnhardt Jr. and Ryan Marlin, Mark Martin, Jeremy Mayfield, Jamie McMurray, Casey Mears, Joe Newman – two drivers who didn’t test in 2004 and struggled during the Nemechek, Ryan Newman, Kyle Petty, Scott Riggs, Ricky Rudd, Elliott race. Sadler, Johnny Sauter, Ken Schrader, Tony Stewart, Brian Vickers, Rusty The Las Vegas test will mark the first full test for most of the teams with Wallace and Michael Waltrip. the shorter spoilers and new tire compounds instituted by NASCAR and Goodyear for the 2005 season. Busch Series drivers (Feb. 2-3): Johnny Borneman, Denny Hamlin, Shane In addition, 14 NASCAR Busch Series drivers are scheduled to test Hmiel, Michel Jourdain Jr., Justin Labonte, Paul Menard, Johnny Sauter, Feb. 2 and 3. Defending series champion Martin Truex Jr., former Champ Brent Sherman, Reed Sorensen, Martin Truex Jr., Tyler Walker, Kenny Car star Michel Jourdain Jr. and Shane Hmiel, who won the Las Vegas Wallace, Paul Wolfe and J.J. Yeley. 350 NASCAR Craftsman Truck Series race in 2004, are among the drivers www.pennypresslv.com The Penny Press is published weekly by Penny Credits: 5010 Productions, Inc. All Contents © Penny Press 2005 Publisher and Editor: Contributing Editors: Letters to the Editor are encouraged. They should be sent to our offices at 418 1/2 S. Maryland Parkway, Las Press Fred Weinberg George Harris Al Thomas Vegas 89101. They can also be emailed to: Logotype Sales: Doug French Bill Here [email protected] No unsigned or unverifiable Pointedlymad Vince Lupo Dolores Lonergan Pat Choate letters will be printed. licensed from: Rich Gast Joyce Meyer Connie Ross 702-740-5588 Fax: 702-920-8215 Penny Press LAS VEGAS, NEVADA 16 PAGES VOLUME 2 NUMBER 16 JANUARY 13, 2005 Don't Mess With Mother Nature By FRED WEINBERG But Mother Nature has been death. just to put a point on it, this is Penny Press Publisher the dominant story both locally and The news media points out that directed at those people in language world-wide and rightfully so. there hasn’t been an avalanche-relat- you will never see on local tv news- The big story of the last couple A tsunami which can kill 150,000 ed death in 40 years. casts. of weeks both in the Western United people kind of puts the actions of 19 Truth be told, the kids who Don’t be a moron. States and world-wide has not been suicidal idiots with boxcutters back were snowboarding and skiing there Don’t drive your economy car about terrorism, elections, liberals, in 2001 into perspective. didn’t know that—or care. Most of onto the mountain with its bald tires We’re fighting a war against them had never even seen an ava- wearing t-shirts and flip-flops in a people in Iraq who apparently don’t lanche. And most of the young TV snowstorm. want their fellow citizens to have reporters who breathlessly reported And then complain when the Commentary freedom. The destructive power of the “news” were only reading off of nice state trooper gives you a big all of the modern military technol- scripts, themselves. ticket when you get stuck. ogy we spend lots of time arguing Frankly, many people who live Don’t park blocking the road conservatives or even Scott Peterson over pales in comparison to an earth- in Las Vegas think that neon signs because you think it is your divine and Dan Rather. quake causing a wall of water. and LED message boards are natural right to enjoy our national forest. Oh, all of them made the news Maybe whatever higher author- resources just like Red Rock and Mt. Don’t make a snowman on top because modern technology has cre- ity you choose to believe in (or not) Charleston. of your car and then drive down the ated a 24-hour news monster which is trying to make a point. That’s why they bring two-wheel mountain blinding the driver behind has to be fed and even a tsunami in Or, maybe the point has always drive cars and short sleeve shirts up you. South Asia, snow in Las Vegas, an been there and we should all be pay- to the mountain when it’s snowing Don’t drive up into the residen- avalanche death in Lee Canyon, and ing attention. and ignore Mother Nature’s power tial areas, get stuck and then become flooding in Overton is not enough to Closer to home, a quick moving at their own peril. indignant when the people who live push the usual suspects off the stage wall of snow sweeps a 13-year-old Maybe the past few weeks have there tell you to call Triple A. completely. off a chair-lift in Lee Canyon to his taught these people something, but Continued on page 4 Welcome To Las Vegas’ PAT CHOATE PAGE 5 Newest Paper! FRED WEINBERG PAGE 6 DOUG FRENCH PAGE 7 Inside: Penny Wisdom BILL HERE PAGE 8 AL THOMAS PAGE 10 Memo To Self- Don’t knock the weather. If it JOE TARTARO PAGE 11 didn’t change once in a while, nine out of ten people couldn’t JOYCE MEYER PAGE 12 Righteous Jerks start a conversation. PET OF THE WEEK PAGE 15 —Kin Hubbard See Editorial Page 6 THE PENNY PRESS, JANUARY 13, 2005 PAGE 4 Don't Mess With Mother Nature Continued from page 3 In the summer, fire is a constant danger. In the winter, the danger usually comes from the stupidity of people who Don’t go hiking into the wilderness unequipped. have no understanding of weather. Again, don’t be a moron. And if flipping off Mother Nature only put you in danger, the rest of us We live up there 365 days a year and we’ve seen all of that and more. wouldn’t care. But you’re playing with our lives as well. Mount Charleston is not a casino where there is a clean-up crew waiting If you don’t have any respect for anybody else, at least have some for you to drop a cigarette so they can pick it up. Take your garbage with respect for what Mother Nature can do when she is upset. you and try not to do any permanent damage. www.choateweinbergreport.com www.pennypresslv.com Commentary: Diane Grassi President William J. Clinton before the world to “head up” a fundraising Through The Looking Glass program for relief for tsunami victims will not be enough distraction. It is nothing more than a dog and pony show again to create a preoccupation Now that the hustle and bustle of the holidays have passed, which from the real issues at hand such as our international relations with both our served as a reprieve from issues of importance amongst the powers-that- allies and our enemies. Why the president would stick his father and Bill be in Washington, we start 2005 with much pomp and circumstance with Clinton together in the first place, boggles the mind. But then again, nothing Washington trying to create the impression that all is well in the U.S. is ever done in Washington without a reason. After all, we were spared a tsunami. Tsunami relief will also create another means of “relief” from the real It is more than disconcerting that the tsunami disaster has turned into issues appearing on the front pages across the U.S. This comes none too a cleansing of mammoth proportions for the U.S., on trying to improve its soon for both houses of Congress and the president’s administration as they image throughout the world. Along with the efforts of the U.S. military begin their 109th session and 2nd term respectively. As the $60 million being under-appreciated by Iraq, the U.S. has had a problem being credited presidential inaugural approaches on January 20, 2005, this year to include for much good in the world since we defied the U.N. by invading Iraq. And no less than 9 balls, it too will temporarily get top billing in the press. as such, the U.S. is losing no time in rehabilitating its image through the Followed up by such important days as February 7, 2005, the day of amount of promised good will and aid to the Asian countries decimated by Super Bowl XXXIX, the people of America are expected to tune out as Mother Nature.