Probus Club of Lomond

Newsletter 23 August 2017 From the Chairman s I sit at my elderly Toshiba laptop computer recipe for healthy living even if you don’t go on the trying to remember how to steer myself walks. However I have noticed that my very able Aaround Microsoft Word 2007 and Windows predecessor, John Davidson Kelly used exactly the XP (and wondering if I am about to face a ransom same words in his article in last year’s Newsletter. I demand for Bitcoins) I realise how my life has was also about to pay tribute to Bill McLeod’s coffee changed from the days when I spent a great deal of and biscuits, Michael Boulton-Jones’ talks team and to my working time writing minutes, letters and articles. I praise the work and expertise provided by many club don’t miss it at all but the deadline for the Probus members including Peter Smith’s work with this Newsletter is fast approaching and I want to write newsletter. However, yet again, John has beaten me to something now, at the end of May, which will be it and I am forced to play Melania Trump to his relevant to our readers who will receive it in the post Michelle Obama! I have also done some belated in mid-August. So it is probably best to avoid saying research on the Chinese curse mentioned above. It anything about and the forthcoming General Election was used by Robert F Kennedy in a speech in Cape (on reflection the term ‘end of May’ might be a Town in 1966, but it was also used in a speech in 1936 hostage to fortune!). Similarly it is probably best not by Sir Austen Chamberlain (brother of Neville). to mention current world news such as Climate However there is no such curse in the Chinese Change, Middle East conflicts, North Korean missile language. So, as well as plagiarism I have also tests, the investigation of ties between associates of provided fake news – very modern! President Trump and Russia, or even President I hope that by the time you have read this you will Trump! The current volatility of national and have had a good summer and are looking forward to international politics seems exceptional. Which the next season of Probus. reminds me of the Chinese curse: ‘May you live in David Wright, Chairman 2017/18 interesting times’. (That word ‘May’ has cropped up again). We certainly live in interesting times and whether it is modern communications and the 24 hour news media which merely reports it or drives it is open to Subscription Increase question. Experience helps to put such things into t the AGM in April Chairman John Davidson- context and I believe Probus club members have Kelly explained that our speakers do not experience, not just in professional and business Areceive any expenses or payment but that it is affairs, but also in family life and citizenship which our custom to offer to make a donation to a charity of amounts to centuries of wisdom and common sense. I their choice. This donation has been fixed at £50 for would like to make particular mention of the Lilias several years but charities, particularly those associated Graham Trust and the Janet Chesney Trust which with welfare and health, have been facing pretty tough were the subject of talks in the past two years with times. The committee felt that £50 does not go very which individual Probus members are associated. All far at all these days and it was considered that it was this expertise, wisdom and experience is regularly time to increase the donations. available in Drymen Village Hall and the Clachan Pub £100 was felt to be a reasonable figure. To fund this around twice a month during the autumn, winter and larger donation a proposal to increase the 2017/18 spring. annual subscription by £10 was put forward at the I was also about to pay tribute to our Club, AGM and it met with the approval of the mentioning that our meetings are friendly, relaxed, membership. sociable, informative and entertaining and that is a John Carruthers

1 Probus reflections. Scottish Country Dancing thought I would like to conclude the Probus year “And now, Tam saw an unco sight! with a brief reflection on it When you look at all Warlocks and Witches in a dance Ithat has been going on in the world, both at home Nae Cotillion brent new frae France in the UK and worldwide, you are tempted to despair But hornpipes, jigs, strathspeys and reels” for mankind. When you look at the past Probus year hanks to the Royal Scottish Country Dance you are filled with hope and encouragement! We Society these “unco sights” are still readily meet congenially over coffee, listen courteously and visible not only in Scotland but throughout the with interest to talks on a wide range of topics from T world although “witches and warlocks” would hardly the scientific, the medical, the artistic, the historical, be an appropriate description of the modern Scottish the charitable - I could go on! We show our interest in country dancer. the speakers’ subject even when we barely understand But, let us look briefly at the history of the Country it, in our questions and then our conversation over Dance in Scotland and how it has evolved into a lunch. Our members put themselves out to world wide form of dance. contribute to the Club’s activities and of course we We know, for example, that Robert Burns was a depend on all those who are involved in the keen country dancer and that he attended dancing organisation of our activities, regular and occasional. Classes in his youth. Collections of dances already We are lucky that we have a group of people who it existed in his lifetime and it can be assumed that is a pleasure to spend time with and although we miss country dancing existed by the middle of the 17th greatly the company of those who have left us due to Century. death, ill health or whatever, we are very lucky that Unfortunately a great deal of Scottish folklore, there are always people willing and able to join us. We music and dance was not written down but handed are one of the few organisations in this age when the from generation to generation by word of mouth, thus younger generation seem to join nothing, that we still making it more difficult to collect and authenticate. have an expanding base of potential members. Long Although at this time the repertoire of country may that last! dancing was international it began to develop its own One last comment on our programme. Since the Scottishness and these were known as “Scotch AGM we have had our, as always, very enjoyable and dances”. successful trip to Pitlochry where we saw Mary Rose The very nature of Scottish society, in other words, by JM Barrie as well as enjoying lunch and tea. Thanks the Clan system, helped to maintain the inclusivity of to Angus for his as always excellent arrangements. dancing. For, as the Chief did, so did all his followers The play was a fascinating one, on one level a and family. Although John Knox banned dancing, it charming period piece, on another dealing with the was only in the strictest non-conformed circles that it same issues as his far more famous Peter Pan. This was adhered to. Clan Chiefs also had their own pipers time it is a girl who cannot grow up and who spends and when the bagpipes were banned after “the 45”, the time we see her in the real world not in Never they were replaced by fiddlers. Neil Gow, for Never Land. Certainly the acting and production were example, was fiddler to 3 Dukes of Atholl. Nathaniel tremendous and a good example of the Company’s Gow, his son, was also a prolific composer of dance skill. tunes as were Robert MacIntosh and William Marshall. “The Auld Alliance” with France cannot be ignored as the influence of the French Court has played a significant part in the development of Scottish Country Dance. The etiquette, manner and elegance as well as some of the steps & formations - pas de basque, allemande, poussette - all originate from there. However, by the end of the 19th century and beginning of the 20th century, the country dance was Members and friends at the Pitlochry Festival in decline due, in part, to the introduction of other Theatre outing in June forms of dance. It was at this time that the Royal Scottish Country Dance Society was formed and was In conclusion what an enjoyable year it was, well I able to save so much of the music and dances of the hope you all enjoyed it as I certainly did. I hope you past. (The title “Royal” was conferred on the Society have a good summer break and look forward to seeing by King George VI in 1951 and HM Queen Elizabeth you again, free from all responsibilities! Though I will became its Patron in 1952.) miss some of them! The two founders of the Society were Mrs. Isobel John Davidson Kelly Stewart of Fasnacloich and Miss Jean Milligan. Mrs. Stewart was a Girl Guide Commissioner for Argyll

2 who thought it was more appropriate for Girl Guides of dancers elsewhere who largely have to rely on in Scotland to learn Scottish country dances and recorded music. began teaching some dances that she had learned in People all over the world so want to be part of her youth. Miss Milligan was a lecturer in physical things Scottish - from dress to pipes to verse to dance. education at Jordanhill College and had included The Royal Scottish Country Dance Society has done Scottish dances with her student teachers. its fair share in promoting our cultural heritage. A meeting, at which 27 people attended, was held in The pleasure to be had can best be summed up in Glasgow on 26th November 1923 and it was agreed another quote from Robert Burns: to form a society to support the publication of a book “The mirth and fun grew fast & furious of 12 dances and also to “practice and preserve The piper loud and louder blew country dances as danced in Scotland, collect old The dancers quick and quicker flew books and pictures illustrative of Scottish dance and They reel’d, they set, they cross’d they cleekit” to publish from time to time descriptions of country dances.” These have been enlarged over the years to reflect the Society’s development. The inclusion of Scottish country dancing as part of the curriculum for PE teachers meant that generations of children were given an introduction, however brief, as part of their historical heritage. Most drop it after primary school, some take it up again at University, drop it again when they are raising a family and take it up again when their children leave home. The Society, through its branch structure, does a considerable amount of work in promoting dance in Primary schools throughout Scotland. Since 1927, the Society has run a Summer School in St Andrews. This is spread over 4 weeks with most people attending for a week. Classes are provided for all levels from beginner to advanced and prospective candidates can sit the Society’s examinations to become teachers. It is interesting to note that, having been to the Summer School, one begins to realise that Scottish country dancing is not just confined to Scots but by people from all over the world. It is not surprising Here Fife artist Tim Cockburn, cleverly captures that it has a large following in Commonwealth the fun & enthusiasm of the dance in one of a series of paintings of Scottish country dancing. countries and America but, perhaps, more of a surprise that there is always a large contingent from There will be a class near you, I recommend that Japan and an increasing number from Europe and you give it a try and see if Robert Burns was right. Russia. Tellingly, these converts, particularly Alan Munro Europeans and Russians are “young”, by which I mean in their 20s and 30s! They enjoy the challenge of Water in the West improving and mastering the various formations and ess than 3% of the world’s water is fresh; this trying out new dances. figure includes the 2.5 % which is locked up in The Society has sought over the years to introduce a the ice caps and glaciers. However Scotland is certain level of standardisation which is probably L fortunate in having more than its fair share of the inevitable but hopefully not to the detriment of the remaining 0.5% and in the west of Scotland we are enjoyment of dancing and it quite rightly promotes it particularly favoured in terms of water supply as an activity providing “fun, fellowship and fitness” although perhaps less so in relation to our weather. and there have been some recent studies pointing to In the 19th century, in common with many large the physical and mental benefits of taking part. and expanding cities, Glasgow’s water supply was There are now several thousand country dances and inadequate, cholera and typhoid being commonplace. it would be impossible to know them all. Suffice it to The cholera epidemic of 1847/48 led to many deaths say, that if you know the basic formations, you can in Glasgow, including that of the daughter of the Lord enjoy the vast majority. Provost, and this gave added impetus to the quest to It would be remiss in any discussion about the Society improve supplies. Various new sources including not to mention the importance of the music and we Loch Lubnaig were investigated but Loch Katrine are extremely privileged here in Scotland to have so won the day particularly on account of its high rainfall many excellent bands to dance to and we are the envy - over 2,000 mm/year (cf. 950 mm at Glasgow

3 Airport and 630 mm in Edinburgh), huge storage Department that additional supplies were required if capacity and elevation at 113m. / 371 ft. above sea trade and industry were to be encouraged to continue level. to develop in the central belt. This led in 1968 to the construction of the Loch Lomond Water Scheme. Introducing a personal involvement at this point, my first job was on this project working for 6 years for Crouch and Hogg, consulting engineers initially in their offices at Charing Cross then on site near Ross Priory by Gartocharn on the construction of the pumping station on the shores of Loch Lomond. From here a pipeline carries the water to Balmore for treatment and onward pumping to service reservoirs near Cumbernauld and Bathgate. A second pipeline provides a supply to Paisley and Greenock. The Loch Lomond Water Scheme was opened by HM The Queen in June 1971. In the early 2000s to meet more stringent quality An Aquaduct above Kinlochard standards a new treatment works was constructed for Scottish Water adjacent to Craigmaddie Reservoir Overcoming many objections, including one from near Milngavie. At the same time taking advantage of the Admiralty that the project would interfere with the elevation of Loch Katrine a cross-connection navigation on the River Forth, construction started in between the Loch Lomond and Loch Katrine May 1856 under the supervision of its designer John schemes was constructed at Blanefield. So now in Fredric Bateman, a highly respected civil engineer who addition to flowing to Craigmaddie Loch Katrine was born in Halifax in 1810. The opening ceremony at water flows to an upgraded treatment works at the intake on Loch Katrine was performed by Queen Balmore leading to increased flexibility and efficiency Victoria in entirely appropriate weather, namely of supply. For example this cross-connection not only pouring rain, on 14th October 1859. Whilst this new reduced the considerable cost of electricity required to supply greatly improved the health of Glaswegians not pump Loch Lomond water to Balmore but it has everybody was happy one elderly lady declaring “I just allowed surplus water available from Loch Katrine to canna thole that new water, it’s got neither taste nor be diverted back down the pumping main to Ross smell”. Nonetheless the demand for water for both Priory where a turbine provides “renewable” domestic and trade use grew rapidly leading to the electricity. raising of the level of Loch Katrine and the So are we making good use of our share of the 0.5% incremental duplication of the aqueducts from 1890. of the world’s fresh water? I think the answer is a clear yes; we can be proud of Scottish Water’s “smart” use of water from Loch Katrine and Loch Lomond. John Carruthers Visit to The Burn of Mar Hydro Scheme Conic Hill - Thursday 6th October 2016 he idea of having a visit to the Hydro Scheme on Conic Hill originally came from my son TKen Morris who works with the Hydro consultancy firm, Hydroplan, in the West Highlands and who was involved in the project at the early stages. Ken knew that we had a number of civil engineers in the Lomond Probus group and thought this would appeal to them. The date was then agreed Loch Katrine from Ben An with James Scott from Luddon, who were the main civil contractors and Jamie Graham who manages Demand continued to rise throughout the 20th the project on the land belonging to his father, The century and significant new supplies serving the Duke of Montrose. central belt were brought into service. The Carron There were around 14 of us that gathered outside Valley reservoir came in to operation in 1939, the the Memorial Hall at Milton of Buchanan on a bright Daer Valley scheme in the Lowther Hills serving and dry Thursday 6th October last year and we were Lanarkshire opened in 1956 and the Loch Turret joined by The Duke of Montrose, Jamie Graham and scheme, 3 miles north of Crieff, in 1967. However it James Scott. We were first taken to the Power House became apparent to the Scottish Development

4 to see the Czech made pelton turbine and generator in Probus Walks 2016/17 action which can generate power with a peak capacity Old Military Road; yomping down the Carse. of 500 kilowatts. he November walk took us along a section of the old military road that ran from Stirling to TDumbarton Castle, starting where the A811 passes West Carse cottages heading west. After marching on a track through some fields, we negotiated the obstructions in the vicinity of Upper Redhall farm and made our way to the driveway of Gargunnock House, a magnificent ochre pile dating back to the sixteenth century but now showing a late Georgian façade. The extensive rhododendron plantings along the drive are a lovely sight in Spring. It was depressing to see that one of the huge James Scott introducing the scheme to members redwoods along the drive had died, perhaps due to Fortunately, there were enough 4 x 4 type vehicles infection with Phytophthera ramorum, a fungus which on hand to transport us up the hill to see various is currently causing death and destruction to larch installations including Intake 1 at the top and the pipe trees throughout Scotland. We proceeded through bridge area. James Scott gave us a very detailed the estate to reach Gargunnock, passing over account of the engineering operations here and some Gargunnock burn via an ancient bridge in the main of the difficulties that they had to overcome. street. From 1776 the inhabitants at their request were From the point of view of the Estate, Jamie Graham roused at 5.00am (6am in 3 winter months) by the described how the project had been considered many beating of a drum or a blast from a horn….but no years ago. In the future, it will provide another source longer! of revenue to balance the volatility of the farming world and, like many other areas, will help to underpin the local rural economy.

Viewing the top intake Hardy walkers on the Old Military Road

After the tour we headed to the Clachan for lunch Skirting Watson and Old Leckie houses we and to discuss more aspects of the Scheme with Jamie. continued on our way west, passing a small enclosure There is no doubt that it had been a memorable day which was home to some ginger coloured pigs, and a great success - much helped by the very pleasant Tamworths perhaps. We hurried past Boquhan house, weather conditions. subject to some legal wrangling between the Snowies We would like to record our grateful thanks to and Stirling council in recent times. Jamie Graham and James Scott for taking time out to Rain fell on the final stretch to Kippen so the party explain the operation of the Hydro Scheme. Thanks did not break step till the threshold of the Cross Keys also to Ron Dalton, David Scott and George Willis was crossed followed by an enjoyable lunch. for helping with transport up the hill. Finally, we must Kelvinside; once home to Britain’s largest Prime have been reasonably agreeable company because Minister. after the trip James Scott's father, David, agreed to ebruary saw us assemble at Milngavie station become a member of the Club ! for a foray in to the West End, disembarking at Jim Morris FHyndland for a walk along the Kelvinside Heritage Trail. Despite the weather being a little dreich, a heavy shower about half way did not dampen our spirits (much). We admired the fine Victorian

5 terraces and substantial villas laid out after the railway. Thereafter it was downhill all the way, but we Kelvinside estate was purchased by two diverted to the Falls of Leny, which presented an entrepreneurial lawyers in 1839. Most of the land was impressive spectacle due to the high volume of water. feued by one James Fleming, son of one of the Ian Duncan drew our attention to the self-seeded ash purchasers: a man distinguished in his youth for his saplings by the path which were showing signs of ash fatal shooting of a burglar from Maryhill at his home, die-back, another fungal disease spreading through the Beaconsfield House, later Westbourne school. land. Kelvinside house of the original estate was the childhood home Henry Campbell Bannerman, one time MP for Stirling, Liberal Party leader and Prime Minister 1905 – 1908. He and his wife were hungry people, both reported to weigh almost 20 stone!

A select group at the Falls of Leny The walkers at Great Western Terrace After an easy downhill walk we were in good time to We looked at terraces designed by Wilson, Burnet enjoy the hospitality of the Lade Inn. Inside were two and Rochead and at the façade of the imposing local fishermen, still wearing chest waders, who had Kelvinside Academy, designed by James Sellars. abandoned their rods for a hot coal fire in the Snug. Names of the architects of some of the subsequent We were pleased to join them. terraces were lost due to disintegration of the map/ Peter Semple guide in a rain shower. We did not, however, miss the classical façade of Great Western Terrace towards the end of our walk. This terrace, raised above the road, was designed by the prolific architect Alexander ”Greek” Thomson, born 200 years ago in Balfron. As Fact or fiction? many know, it was home to Sir William Burrell, but less well known and somewhat later it was also home here is much discussion in the media about to the Holroyd family. what is genuine information and what is not. Café Source 2 at Hughenden provided a warm THow does one distinguish fact from fiction? welcome, good lunch, refreshments and shelter! Here is an example for you to consider and to decide whether you think that it is true or fabricated The Falls of Leny; water, water everywhere! information. The correct answer is given on Page 10. he last walk of the session took place in March. It was reported in the Times that there are two types Inclement weather yet again meant that the of cuckoo resident in the U.K. in the summer. One is Tgroup was “back to the taxi”, on this occasion the Celtic cuckoo and the other the Anglo-Saxon Ron Dalton’s car. Perhaps the rain was a response to cuckoo. The former nests in Scotland or Wales and my mispronunciation of St Chug. The name of the the latter in England. When the birds migrate in June, Gaelic saint should sound like as a guttural “Hog” the Celtic cuckoo takes a different flight path to its rather than the noise of an engine! winter quarters than does the Anglo-Saxon cuckoo. Setting off from Bochastle Forest car park, we made The Celtic cuckoos flying via Italy and then down the our way, mostly uphill, towards the lower slopes of east coast of Africa before crossing to the west side of Ben Ledi. There were glimpses through mist and rain Africa. The Anglo-Saxon cuckoo heads down to Spain of the renowned views of Lochs Venacher and before crossing the Sahara, not many birds surviving Lubnaig and we were serenaded on the ascent by the journey. On the return flight both Celtic and numerous goldcrests in the conifers. Anglo-Saxon cuckoos both follow the route up the Descending from Bochastle forest, although most west side of Africa. trees of which have been felled, we joined the path True or false information? down from Ben Ledi ending up on the cycle Supplied by Arthur Benns track/path following the former Callander to Oban

6 A Big Birthday Ride. I rode West to Straiton on day 2 and then turned South over a 420m pass to join National Cycle Route have always loved cycle touring-starting at age 12 7 on a wonderful valley road following the Water of and visiting various Youth hostels within a day’s Minnock down to Glen Trool . (Route 7 passes distance of my home on Tyneside. On many I through Drymen and my home in Dalmary) The big weekends, with friends, we would ride into the hills of Kirriereoch and Merrick lay to the East but Scottish Borders to Jedburgh, Melrose, or with clouded tops. Following the lovely East side of Coldingham. In teenager years the tours lengthened. the river Cree to Newton Stewart and the A75 to In 1949, aged 13, we rode to Rochester in Kent to Creetown I was able to head off into the hills, stay with relatives and enjoy a first sight of television! eventually to arrive in Gatehouse of Fleet. In 1951 we stayed at Auchendennan hostel on Loch Lomond, crossing the Clyde via the Erskine Ferry. On the return we stopped in Hamilton to see a stage of the first Tour of Britain cycle race which eventually was won by Scotsman, Ian Steel. The field included one “Oscar” James W. Saville ( Jimmy Saville) who gave his occupation in the race programme as “Company Director” and who was well known in cycling circles as a (self styled) character, “The Duke”. 1953 saw us in Lincoln on the eve of Coronation day. We awoke on the day itself to hear that Everest had been conquered. However we had 160 miles to ride back to Tyneside against a Northern headwind and driving rain - the worst touring day I ever River Cree near Newton Stewart experienced. The tourist office told me that Gatehouse was In 1956 my wife-to-be, Brenda and I rode all the “completely full” and I had resigned myself to riding way to the Black Forest on a tandem I had rescued on to Castle Douglas when, on a whim, I checked at from a scrap yard, paying the princely sum of four the Bank of Fleet hotel and found a room for the and a half guineas ( £4.73 in today’s money) and night. 55 miles covered. spending a few pounds in addition to equip it for Day 3 covered the (relatively!) non-hilly part of the touring. The first day’s ride, from Teesside to route along the North side of the Solway via Castle Grantham was 130 miles and I re-assured an Douglas, Dumfries and Annan to Longtown in exhausted Brenda that the next day ,Grantham to England. This was the longest ride with 62 miles London, would be an “easy 110”. (We are still covered. together). With the necessity to complete education , earn a living, bring up a family etc, cycle touring activities were much constrained until after joining Probus when, in 2011 with fellow member Duncan Stewart and his best man Alistair, we set off to ride from Barra to Stornoway. Unfortunately our trip was dogged by frightful weather-high winds, driving rain and cancelled inter-island ferries. We gave up in Tarbert having not seen much of the beauty of the Outer Hebrides. In June 2016, as my four score birthday loomed I decided to take to the road again with the objective of Near Annan (This way for Probus secretaries?) riding to my younger daughter’s home in Southport. I On day 4 the route turned South after Brampton, planned an “S” shaped route that followed back roads skirting the High Pennines and passing through the as far as possible and included parts of South West pleasant Northern villages Castle Carrock, Scotland that I had never seen and taking pot luck on Kirkoswald and Langwathby. (I was too tired to accommodation. From Milngavie the train took me to respond to the request on the Castle Carrock village Hamilton where the tour proper started. I managed to sign!). ride to Dalmellington on the first day, a distance of Unfortunately I seemed to run out of “B” road at about 46 miles. The Eglington hotel was the best bet the point where I joined the A66 and was forced to as it displayed the winged wheel symbol of the CTC ride a terrifying mile or so to Kirkby Thore where, (The Cyclists Touring Club of which I am a member). thankfully, minor roads climbed into the Pennine foothills and took me to the excellent hostel at

7 Dufton. This is on the Pennine Way and the only summit, and with Ingleborough and Whernside in the other two, mature, visitors were tackling this long distant background. The summit is named “The Cross distance footpath. ( In Youth Hostels today there of Greet”. appear to be very few youths!) 41 miles covered .

Day 5 was spent, riding from Dufton to Hawes via Cross of Greet Kirkby Stephen and with the road climbing into the Pennines and running parallel to the Settle to Carlisle However there is no actual cross but a large square railway. The weather was fine and the views hole in the boulder may have supported a stone cross spectacular. 34 miles. in bygone days. The last night on the road was spent in Slaidburn. 31 miles - the shortest daily total but - hard going!

Dufton Slaidburn On day 6, after climbing out of Hawes, I freewheeled into Ribblesdale passing under the My evening meal was at the “Hark to Bounty” inn - famous Ribblehead viaduct and hordes of walkers the name adopted after the local squire heard his dog, setting off to do the very popular “Three Peaks” Bounty - barking outside while he dined inside. (Whernside, Ingleborough and Pen-y-Ghent) circuit. The Forest of Bowland is an Area of Outstanding Natural Beauty lying between between Clitheroe and Lancaster. It contains gritstone fells, peaty moorland and deep, lush valleys. Highly recommended.

Ribblesdale and Ingleborough The road South from Ingleton then took me via Forest of Bowland High Bentham over Whitray Fell which was so steep Day 7 took me finally to Southport via Longridge that even walking it was tough! A passing cyclist and Preston. Many of the last 44 miles were on main obliged with a photograph that shows me on the

8 roads and I was very pleased to reach my destination. Probus Club of Lomond Website The weather had been very kind to me all week with www.lomondprobus.org no rain. Just an hour after arriving at my daughter’s the heavens opened! ur new website went live last year. Each page I celebrated my 80th birthday the next day when is headed by a picture of Loch Lomond, daughter, Anne, took me out for a lunch (my favourite Otaken by Ian Duncan, unusually from the - egg and chips). The day after, Anne transported my north. The site has 13 pages of which 9 are freely ‘bike and me to Preston where I caught a train back to accessible - home page, constitution, office bearers, Glasgow and Milngavie. Altogether, at 313 miles, a big past chairmen, events, newsletters, noticeboard, birthday ride. gallery and member photos. Four pages are Ron Dalton 19.04.17 password-protected - members’ names addresses and phone numbers, member biographies, AGM minutes and slide presentations of previous talks. To access the private pages, it is important that all letters are lower case: Retirement username: winnock password: drymen ane McTavish, the waitress in the Clachan, retired The events page contains details of all the year’s at the end of April; she had had a long association J talks and also dates of walks. The newsletter page with Probus including serving the coffee in the Village contains all newsletters since 2006. The noticeboard Hall before our meetings. Clachan regulars contains miscellaneous information such as the trip to contributed to a retiral donation which was given to Pitlochry and is available for members to post Jane by John Davidson Kelly during lunch in the information relevant to the club. The gallery page has Clachan following the AGM on 27th April. Jane photos taken on walks and should be used to record replied saying said she would miss Probus and any significant events in the club if captured on thanked everybody for their kindness. camera. On the password-protected pages, members are encouraged to check their biographies and indicate if any changes should be made. The committee hopes that members will increasingly make use of the website and would welcome any suggestions for its future development. Robin Stevenson [email protected] Golf Outing - Thursday 14th September everal members of our Probus are also members at Buchanan Castle Golf Club and for some Stime there has been talk of the appropriateness of our having lunch and golf at Buchanan, our local course, after one of our meetings. 14th September has now been fixed for this. All golfers in our Probus are Jane McTavish with John Carruthers following most welcome - not just those who happen to be her presentation members of Buchanan. After the talk by Roy Burden on that date those participating would head to Buchanan Castle for lunch after which we would take Contributions and Wish Lists to the Course. I am thinking we might play some his Newsletter relies on contributions from form of foursomes - possibly a Pinehurst in a members without which there would be no Stableford competition so that there is a focus and Tcontent. gently competitive objective for our play. Enjoyment Have you any news, views, exciting experiences, and exercise are, however, the main objectives for the memorable holidays or other information to share outing. with your fellow members? I shall be grateful if all those interested in What would you like to see included - biographies, participating could let me know by the end of travel articles, memoirs, amusing stories, or other August by email ([email protected]) or telephone items? (01786 860397). Our speaker Roy Burden is also a Please contact Arthur Benns, Peter Smith or any member at Buchanan so I am hoping he will join us. I committee member with your ideas and contributions. am confident the subject matter of his talk “The Art Editorial team of Forgery”will not apply to our scorecards. Ronald Graham

9 Unsatisfactory Husbands How a Project develops t is a truth universally acknowledged that once a With apologies to our civil engineering members! man retires he becomes an unsatisfactory Ihusband. I first realised this possibility years ago when a senior colleague decided to take early retirement. His wife became very despondent – so much so that he actually realised that all was not well. “What ails thee wife?”, he asked one day (as you can see, it was a long time ago). She replied that she was worried because she had seen it often before - a husband retires and becomes bored with limitless freedom so he asks his wife to share his boredom. “But”, she told him, “wives have often developed a very pleasant life of their own and do not want to give it up”. My early years of retirement confirmed this truth. Restaurants were often full at lunchtime of women of What the client wanted How the architect a certain age, usually with blond hair and full figures, visualised it having fun and drinking copious amounts of white wine (for some reason never red). Their children were at university and their husbands at work earning money for this happy congress. They were enjoying themselves with loud ear-splitting laughter ringing around the room at frequent intervals – to the detriment of the serious philosophical arguments going on at my table. Then I had several dinners sitting next to various women who, after the usual pleasantries had been exchanged, would confide some information about their husbands. Some never left the house and their wives were frustrated by their eternal presence. Others How the quantity How the engineer were forever active and their wives did not see enough surveyor costed it designed it of them. Some never offered to help in the house perhaps not realising that retirement ended the previous contract that he earned the money while she looked after all domestic affairs; while other husbands got under the feet of their wives as they hung uselessly around the kitchen getting in their way. Some talked too much but most didn’t talk enough – certainly not enough to replace those bright joyful lunches that they used to have with their friends. Some want to be travelling all the time and others seem reluctant to get out of their rut. This is a series, probably incomplete, of binary choices and the longer the list, the less chance each How the contractor How the client used it newly retired husband has of being satisfactory. You built it only have to fail one of them to become

unsatisfactory. Say 50% fail at each hurdle; that mean Answer to the Cuckoo question.

that only one in two get to the next hurdle and then is. source that genuine

one in four to the third. By the take you get to the and reliable how determine to and information

fourth, only one in one in eight are still competing. the of source the discover to practice good

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