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2 | Annals of Improbable Research | May–June 2011 | vol. 17, no. 3 www.improbable.com Contents The features marked with a star (*) are based entirely on material taken straight from standard research (and other Official and Therefore Always Correct) literature. Many of the other articles are genuine, too, but we don’t know which ones. Special Section: Mathematicians & Bears 6 Mathematicians and Their Problems* — Marc Abrahams 9 Mathematicians on Ham Sandwiches* — Marc Abrahams 13 A Device to Deter a Bear* — Nan Swift 16 Bear Research Review * — Alice Shirrell Kaswell 18 Troy’s New Book of Bear (and then some) Adventures* — Marc Abrahams
Improbable Research Reviews* News & Notes 4 Improbable Research Review* — Dirk Manley IFC Back Issues 5 Improbable Medical Review* — Bertha Vanatian 2 AIR Vents (letters from our readers) 20 May We Recommend: Cheney and Crows* 3 AIR Books — Stephen Drew 17 Editorial Board 23 Soft Is Hard* — Alice Shirrell Kaswell 19 XKCD: “Centrifuge” — Randall Munroe and Bissell Mango 21 Ig ® Nobel Limericks: Photos, Hell, Tips* 24 Boys Will Be Boys* — Katherine Lee — Martin Eiger 26 Ig® and Beyond: Sparrow & Condom* — Nan Swift 22 Puzzling Solutions — Emil Filterbag
22 Teachers’ Guide Coming Events 25 KIM CARTOON: “Domestication of the Dog” — Nick Kim See WWW.IMPROBABLE.COM for details of these 28 Ptak: Big Airships of the 1800s* — John Ptak and other events: IBC UnclassifiedAds May 2011 GEL Conference, New York City, USA On the Front Cover May 2011 Cambridge (MA) A blackboardfull of mathematics, Science Festival fronted by a bear. May 2011 NIH, Warrenton, VA June 2011 Doha, Qatar August 2011 ACS Meeting, Denver September 2011 Switzerland On the Back Cover A poster for The Great Train September 29, 2011 Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony Robbery, a popular 1896 play by Scott Marble, in which October 1, 2011 Ig Informal Lectures figured a grizzly bear. November 2011 Abu Dhabi Science Festival
Every Day Read something new and improbable every day on the Improbable Research blog, on our web site: www.improbable.com www.improbable.com Annals of Improbable Research | May–June 2011 | vol. 17, no. 3 | 1 AIR Vents Exhalations from our readers
NOTE: The opinions expressed Of Letters and Monarchs here represent the opinions of the authors and do not necessarily G.V. Hormley’s scholarly “His or Her Majesty Received Your Item” represent the opinions of those (AIR 16:7) opened my eyes. I had no idea that so many people send who hold other opinions. copies of their monographs, books, poems, paintings, laboratory notebooks, and all manner of other things to monarchs in hopes that the Highnesses will bless them in a way that leads to increased Magnetic Intensity sales, etc., of those monographs, books, poems, paintings, and on British Trains other things. Here’s one that Hormley did not mention. Norman Watson’s recent (2010) biography Poet McGonagall—The I am eternally grateful that you Biography of William McGonagall, about the famous, magnificently published Martha Buhler’s letter bad Scottish poet, includes a similar story: and photo (AIR Vents 17:2) about the magnets attached to toilet One of the queen’s administrators simply returned his verses, seats in (some) trains in Britain. It adding in polite terms that she was not able to receive them was fascinating to read Buhler’s personally. Dated 16 October speculation that that in some 1887, the reply read: way relates to the Ig Nobel Prize “General Sir Thomas winning work of Andre Geim and Biddulph is commanded to Michael Berry, in which those two thank Mr. McGonagall for physics professors used magnets to sending the enclosed lines levitate a frog. But what mattered which, however, the Queen to me most was that it gave me regrets must be returned, the opportunity to suggest to my as it is not usual for cousin Rupert, an immensely self- Her Majesty to receive important individual who can be manuscript poetry.” impressively gullible, that magnets Such a return would be cause cancer (which echoes a regarded as an out-and-out believe he has had for years, ever dismissal by most folk. Not since he read some moronic book McGonagall. He regarded claiming that all sorts of things— the Buckingham Palace including magnets, bananas, letter as an endorsement midges, hot beverages, tweed caps, of his work. He took the and Turkish baths—cause cancer) black wax seal of the Royal and that in particular he would Privy on the reverse of the risk getting prostate cancer if he envelope as his appointment uses the toilet on a train. Rupert as poet under the protection travels by train frequently on of Queen Victoria herself, business, often on five and six hour almost as if it had been an journeys. He lives in London and Act of Parliament. And he considers himself sophisticated. was immensely proud of the He now arrives in distant cities royal ‘blessing’ for the rest and races, absolutely races out of of his days… the train into the station. My other cousins and I have been waiting a I have been delighted to see lifetime for this superior means of that your magazine is taking enlivening Rupert’s days. Again, an interest in McGonagall, thank you. (By the way, I am quite who is my favorite poet. I certain that Rupert does not and have enjoyed watching the will not ever read your or any other videos on your web site of science publication, so there is no people reciting, or rather danger that he see this letter, even trying to recite, some of his should you choose to publish it.) poems. I hope you will make Annette Dayton Dougherty, Ph.D more of those videos. Leeds, U.K. Dr. K.S. Waller Nixa, Missouri, U.S.A.
2 | Annals of Improbable Research | May–June 2011 | vol. 17, no. 3 www.improbable.com Ig® Nobel Improbable& Research BOOKS
Detail Identification Can you help me identify the material used to manufacture the hat worn by the man (who is undoubtedly studying the folds of ice strata and dirt bands apparently due to lateral crowding as result of overriding a rock ridge not visible here) in the lower portion of this 1922 photograph of Beartooth National Forest in Montana? I obtained this photo from the USGS in Washington. They were distinctly unhelpful in answering my question. I apologize for the tiny size of the photo. Prof. Xie-Niu Wang Tianjin, China
Not Influenced by Mendel A Little About Mel I must again write to inform you that Cherry Ratzinger was mistaken I, for one, would very much enjoy in identifying the person whose seeing more letters about the portrait hangs in my laboratory. The history of the little man Mel whose person is Eleanora Frances Bliss, photograph so often adorns your the pioneering geologist. Here is letters page. I understand that and a photo of that photo. It should why others disagree with me. have been obvious to you that the Ignore them, please. My opinion person is not Gregor Mendel. My is what counts. career owes much to the influence Domenico Torres Ramirez of Bliss, nothing to the influence Paysandu, Uruguay of Mendel. Please correct your incorrect correction. Get them in bookstores— Prof. Dr. Gerhard Knopf, G.L.E. Munich, Germany or online via www.improbable.com or at other fine and even not-so-fine e-bookstores.
www.improbable.com Annals of Improbable Research | May–June 2011 | vol. 17, no. 3 | 3 Improbable Research Review Improbable theories, experiments, and conclusions compiled by Dirk Manley, Improbable Research staff
Are Birds Smarter Than Mathematicians? “Are Birds Smarter Than Mathematicians? Pigeons (Columba livia) Perform Optimally on a Version of the Monty Hall Dilemma,” Walter T. Herbranson and Julia Schroeder, Journal of Comparative Psychology, vol. 124, no. 1, February 2010, pp. 1–13. The authors, at Whitman College in Walla Walla, Washington, report: The “Monty Hall Dilemma” (MHD) is a well Bird-Brains in the Big City known probability puzzle in which a player tries “Brains and the City: Big-Brained Passerine Birds Succeed to guess which of three doors conceals a desirable in Urban Environments,” Alexei A. Maklakov, Simone prize. After an initial choice is made, one of the Immler, Alejandro Gonzalez-Voyer, Johanna Rönn, and remaining doors is opened, revealing no prize. The Niclas Kolm, Biological Letters, e-pub, April 27, 2011. The player is then given the option of staying with their authors, at Evolutionary Biology Centre, Uppsala, Sweden, initial guess or switching to the other unopened and at Estacion Biologica de Donana, Sevilla, Spain, report: door.... A series of experiments investigated whether We provide the first evidence for the intuitive pigeons (Columba livia), like most humans, yet untested hypothesis that relative brain size is would fail to maximize their expected winnings a key factor predisposing animals to successful in a version of the MHD.... [We found that] birds establishment in adjusted their probability of switching and staying cities. We apply to approximate the optimal strategy... [but] humans phylogenetic mixed failed to adopt optimal strategies, even with modelling in a extensive training. Bayesian framework to show that passerine species that succeed in colonizing at least one of 12 European cities are more likely to belong to big- brained lineages than species avoiding these urban areas.
That’s What They Found: That’s What She Said “That’s What She Said: Double Entendre Identification,” Chloé Kiddon and Yuriy Brun, paper accepted to the 49th Annual Meeting of the Association for Computational Linguistics: Human Language Technologies, 2011. The authors, at the University of Washington, explain: “That’s what she said” [TWSS] is a well-known family of jokes, recently repopularized by the television show “The Office”. The jokes consist of saying “that’s what she said” after someone else utters a statement in a non- sexual context that could also have been used in a sexual context.... Our experiments indicate that euphemism- and erotic-domain-structure features contribute to improving the precision of TWSS identification [by a computer].
4 | Annals of Improbable Research | May–June 2011 | vol. 17, no. 3 www.improbable.com Improbable Medical Review Improbable diagnoses, techniques, and research compiled by Bertha Vanatian, Improbable Research staff
The Angry Face Syndrome “The Angry Face Syndrome,” Norman J. Pastorek and W. Matthew White, Archives of Facial Plastic Surgery, vol. 13, no. 2, March–April 2011, pp. 131–3. (Thanks to Ivan Oransky for bringing this to our attention.) The authors, at New York Presbyterian Hospital and at University School of Medicine, New York City, report: In our practice of facial plastic surgery, we consider patient body language and facial expression every day to make decisions about a patient’s candidacy for surgery. While most body language and facial expressions are animated and dynamic, some static features are seen to convey aspects of psychological makeup. For example, a long, straight, wide nose is universally seen as masculine and confers a sense of strength or even invincibility to the person. The shorter, narrower, slightly retroussé nose gives a person a feminine character and a certain sense of vulnerability. Full lips, thin lips; small eyes, larger eyes all carry unspoken static messages that we intuitively interpret...
Detail from the angry face syndrome study.
Ear Wiggling and EEG “Wiggling Ears: An Unusual EEG Artifact Caused by Muscle Activity,” Bastiaan C. ter Meulen, E.W. Peters, D.L.J. Tavy, and A. Mosch, Clinical Neurophysiology, vol. 117, no. 6, June 2006, pp. 1403–4. (Thanks to Dan Meyer for bringing this to our attention.) The authors are at insitutions in Rotterdam and in The Hague, The Netherlands.
We welcome your suggestions for this and other columns. Please enclose the full citation (no abbreviations!) and, if possible, a copy of the paper.
www.improbable.com Annals of Improbable Research | May–June 2011 | vol. 17, no. 3 | 5 Mathematicians and Their Problems by Marc Abrahams, Improbable Research staff
Mathematicians have their problems. Here are a few of the Non-Starving Philosophers more entrancing ones. “Non Starving Solutions to the Dining Philosophers Problem,” R. Devillers, ASM/30, University of Newcastle The Dining Philosophers and Their Forks upon Tyne, 1977. The Dining Philosophers Problem was first described as such in the paper “Hierarchical Ordering of Sequential Processes,” Randomized Dining Philosophers, E.W. Dijkstra, Acta Informatica, vol. 1, 1971, pp. 115–38. Dijkstra writes: Unassumedly Unfair “Randomized Dining Philosophers Without Fairness Five philosophers, numbered from 0 through 4 Assumption,” Marie Duflot, Laurent Fribourg and Claudine are living in a house where the table laid for them, Picaronny, Distributed Computing, vol. 17, no. 1, February each philosopher having his own place at the table. 2004, pp. 65–76. The authors, at LSV, CNRS & ENS Their only problem—besides those of philosophy— de Cachan, France, report: is that the dish served is a very difficult kind of spaghetti, that has to be eaten with two forks. There Up to now, such an analysis has always required are two forks next to each plate, so that presents a “fairness” assumption on the scheduling no difficulty: as a consequence, however, no two mechanism: if a philosopher is continuously hungry neighbours may be eating simultaneously. then he must eventually be scheduled. In contrast, we modify here the algorithm in order to get rid of Dijkstra rules out certain possible solutions. Of one he the fairness assumption... We show that, for some writes: “malicious” scheduling, this expected time is at But this solution—although it guarantees that no least exponential in the number N of philosophers. two neighbours are eating simultaneously—must be rejected because it contains the danger of the deadly Unhygienic Dining Philosophers embrace. When all five philosophers get hungry “The Maximality of Unhygienic Dining Philosophers,” simultaneously, each will grab his left hand fork and M. Lang and P.A.G. Sivilotti, Technical Report OSU- from that moment onwards the group is stuck. CISRC-5/07-TR39, Ohio State University, May 2007.
Detail from Dijkstra’s study that first defined the Dining Philosophers problem.
6 | Annals of Improbable Research | May–June 2011 | vol. 17, no. 3 www.improbable.com Dining Philosophers That Tolerate Malicious Crashes “Dining Philosophers That Tolerate Malicious Crashes,” Mikhail Nesterenko and Anish Arora, presented at the 22nd IEEE International Conference on Distributed Computing Systems (ICDCS’02), Vienna, Austria, July 2002–July 2005. The authors, at Ohio State University and Kent State University, Ohio, U.S.A., report: We present a solution to the problem of dining philosophers. Our solution tolerates malicious crashes. In a malicious crash the failed process behaves arbitrarily for a finite time and then ceases all operation undetectably to other processes. Triple-Handed Dining Philosophers “Triple-Handed Dining Philosophers,” S.P. Rana, ACM SIGOPS Operating Systems Review, vol. 16, no. 1, January 1982. The author, at the Indian Institute of Technology in New Delhi, reports: The purpose of this short communication is to further rejuvenate the dining (hungry) philosophers problem by introducing few variants struck upon by the author... It is ardently hoped that interested readers would discover further utility of the philosophers problem and would come to the rescue of deadlocked or starved philosophers.... In the extended problems it is assumed that each philosopher has three hands (nothing is impossible for philosophers) and three forks in reach. The Detail from the study “Triple-Handed Dining Philosophers.” triplehanded philosophers now require three forks, one in each hand, to get into the eating phase . Three variants of the triple-handed philosophers are continued > presented below, depending upon the arrangement of forks among the philosophers.
www.improbable.com Annals of Improbable Research | May–June 2011 | vol. 17, no. 3 | 7 Mathematicians and Their Problems (continued) Optimal Algorithms for Byzantine Agreement “Optimal Algorithms for Byzantine Agreement,” P. Feldman, S. Micali, Proceedings of the 20th Annual ACM Symposium on Theory of Computing, Chicago, Illinois, U.S.A.,1988, pp. 148–61. Fast and Simple Byzantine Agreement “Fast and Simple Byzantine Agreement,” J.E. Burns, G. Neiger, College of Computing, Georgia Institute of Technology, March 1992. Randomization in Byzantine Agreement “Randomization in Byzantine Agreement,” B. Chor and C. Dwork, in S. Micali (editors), Advances in Computer Research, vol. 5, 1989, pp. 443-97. Anonymous Byzantine Agreement “Efficient Algorithms for Anonymous Byzantine Agreement,” Michael Okun and Barak Amnon, Theory of Computing Systems, vol. 42, no. 2, 2008, p. 222–38. Randomized Byzantine Generals “Randomized Byzantine Generals,” Michael O. Rabin, presented at the 24th Annual Symposium on Foundations of Computer Science, Nov. 7–9, 1983, pp. 403–9. Random Walk: Drunken Sailor vs. Sober Man “Statistics of Persistent Events in the Binomial Random Walk: Will the Drunken Sailor Hit the Sober Man?” M. Bauer, C. Godreche, and J.M. Luck, Journal of Statistical Physics, vol. 96, 1999, pp. 963–1019. The authors, at CEA Saclay, Gif-sur-Yvette, France, report: We determine the survival probability of the random Acknowledgement walker in the presence of an obstacle moving Thanks to Laura Haas and to Peter Haas for suggesting the ballistically with velocity v, i.e., the probability that topics explored here. the random walker remains up to time n on the left of the obstacle.
8 | Annals of Improbable Research | May–June 2011 | vol. 17, no. 3 www.improbable.com Mathematicians on Ham Sandwiches by Marc Abrahams, Improbable Research staff
The Ham Sandwich Theorem has been a treat and a spur to mathematicians for more than half a century. It first cropped up in a branch of mathematics called algebraic topology. The theorem describes a particular truth about certain shapes. Most published papers on the topic make a hash of explaining it to anyone who is not an algebraic topologist. But the authors of a 2001 paper called “Leftovers from the Ham Sandwich Theorem” wrapped up an important little leftover: they put the idea into clear language.
“Leftovers from the Ham Sandwich Theorem,” Graham Byrnes, Grant Cairns, and Barry Jessup, The American Mathematical Monthly, vol. 108, no. 3, March 2001, pp. 246-9. The authors are at La Trobe University, It considered only ham sandwiches that had been flattened Melbourne, Australia, and University of Ottawa, Ottawa, flatter than even the chintziest cook would dare devise. Canada. The Ham Sandwich Theorem, they wrote, “rescues Mathematicians often do things this way, first considering the careless sandwich maker by guaranteeing that it is always the extreme cases, digesting those thoroughly, and only possible to slice the sandwich with one cut so that the ham then moving on to more substantial versions. Indeed, the and both slices of bread are each divided into equal halves, “Computing a Ham-Sandwich Cut in Two Dimensions” no matter how haphazardly the ingredients are arranged.” paper itself contains a section called “Getting Rid of Degenerate Cases”. For a while, most ham sandwich theorizing dealt with simple cases. A paper called “Computing a Ham-Sandwich Cut in People did solve the mystery of slicing a thick ham Two Dimensions,” published in 1986, is typical. sandwich. And inevitably, they developed a hunger for more substantial problems. “Computing a Ham-Sandwich Cut in Two Dimensions,” H. Edelsbrunner and R. Waupotitsch, In 1990, Yugoslavian theorists wrote in the Bulletin of the Journal of Symbolic Computation, vol. 2, no. 2, London Mathematical Society about “An Extension of the June 1986, pp. 171–8. Ham Sandwich Theorem.” “An Extension of the Ham Sandwich Theorem”, Rade T. Živaljević and Sinisa T. Vrećica, Bulletin of the London Mathematical Society, vol. 22, no. 2, 1990, pp. 183–6. The authors are at Mathematics Institute Knez Mihailova and at Faculty of Mathematics Studentski, both in Beograd, Yugoslavia. The Ham Sandwich Theorem Revisited… Partly from nostalgia, partly with an eye to the future, these two mathematicians paused in 1992 to take a refreshing look back at the ham sandwich question: “The Ham Sandwich Theorem Revisited,” Sinisa T. Detail from the Edelsbrunner/Waupotitsch study “Computing a Vrećica and Rade T. Živaljević, Israel Journal Ham-Sandwich Cut in Two Dimensions.” of Mathematics, vol. 78, no. 1, February 1992, pp. 21–32. continued >
www.improbable.com Annals of Improbable Research | May–June 2011 | vol. 17, no. 3 | 9 Mathematicians on Ham Sandwiches (continued) …and Generalized Whence the Ham Sandwich Theorem? Elsewhere in 1992, a theorist at Yaroslav State University And who started this? A 2004 paper called “The Early in Russia published a paper called “A Generalization of the History of the Ham Sandwich Theorem” took care of another Ham Sandwich Theorem.” lingering leftover: it identified the inventor. Mathematico- historians W.A. Beyer and Andrew Zardecki of Los Alamos “A Generalization of the Ham Sandwich Theorem,” National Laboratory in New Mexico, U.S.A., say that it was V.L. Dol’nikov and P.G. Demidov, Matematicheskie a Jewish theorist who introduced the ham sandwich into Zametki [Mathematical Notes], vol. 52, no. 2, 1992, mathematical theory. Beye and Zardecki trace the theorem pp. 27–37. back to a 1945 paper by the Polish mathematician Hugo The authors explain: Steinhaus that “represents work Steinhaus did in Poland on [We] consider a group of problems connected with the ham sandwich problem in World War II while hiding out the “three-layered sandwich problem,” posed by with a Polish farm family.” Ulam, and the Neumann-Rado theorem on division “The Early History of the Ham Sandwich Theorem,” of measures. In the ham sandwich problem it is W.A. Beyer and Andrew Zardecki, The American required to cut a ham sandwich of bread with butter Mathematical Monthly, vol. 111, no. 1, January and cheese such that each part contains exactly half 2004, pp. 58–61. of each of the three ingredients. That same year, a team of hungry American, Czech, and German mathematicians assembled a master collection of recipes for slicing ham sandwiches. Mathematicians almost never use the word “recipe”, so they called their paper “Algorithms for Ham-Sandwich Cuts.” “Algorithms for Ham-Sandwich Cuts,” Chi-Yuan Lo, J. Matoušek, and W. Steiger, Discrete and Computational Geometry, vol. 11, no. 1, December 1994, pp. 433–52. Research then moved on to exotic, distantly-related questions, exemplified by a 1998 monograph called “Green Eggs and Ham.” “Green Eggs and Ham,” M.J. Kaiser and S. Hossaien Cheraghi, Mathematical and Computer Modeling, vol. 28, no. 1, 1998, pp. 91–99. The authors, at Wichita State University, Kansas, U.S.A., explain: A dish of ham and eggs is required to be divided equally by a single straight knife cut. A constructive solution procedure is described through the introduction of a balance functional and a geometric optimization problem. The two- and three- dimensional cases are illustrated by example.
Detail from the Kaiser/Hossaien study “Green Eggs and Ham.”
10 | Annals of Improbable Research | May–June 2011 | vol. 17, no. 3 www.improbable.com The authors say: The following theorem is the well-known ham sandwich theorem: for any three given sets in Euclidean space, each of finite outer Lebesgue measure, there exists a plane that bisects all three sets, i.e., separates each of the given sets into two sets of equal measure. The early history of this result seems not to be well known. Stone and Tukey attribute the The Miraculous Years 2009 and 2010 theorem to Ulam. They say they got the information The years 2009 and 2010 were anni mirabili for Ham from a referee. Is this correct? The problem appears Sandwich Theorem research. Consider just a few of the in The Scottish Book as problem 123. The problem papers published during that time. is posed by Steinhaus. A reference is made to the “Dynamic Ham-Sandwich Cuts in the Plane,” pre-World War II journal Mathesis Polska (Latin Timothy G. Abbott, Michael A. Burr, Timothy M. for “Polish Mathematics”). This journal is not easy Chan, Erik D. Demaine, Martin L. Demaine, John to locate... continued >
www.improbable.com Annals of Improbable Research | May–June 2011 | vol. 17, no. 3 | 11 Mathematicians on Ham Sandwiches (continued)
Hugg, Daniel Kane, Stefan Langerman, Jelani Other discussions followed: Nelson, Eynat Rafalin, Kathryn Seyboth, and “Generalized Ham-Sandwich Cuts,” William Vincent Yeung, Computational Geometry, vol. 42, Steiger and Jihui Zhao, Discrete and Computational no. 5, July 2009, pp. 419–28. “Ham Sandwich with Geometry, vol. 44, no. 3, 2010, 535-45. Mayo: A Stronger Conclusion to the Classical Ham Sandwich Theorem,” John H. Elton and Theodore P. “Uneven Splitting of Ham Sandwiches,” Felix Hill, arXiv:0901.2589v2, 2009. Breuer, Discrete and Computational Geometry, The authors of the latter paper, at Georgia Institute of vol. 43, no. 4, 2010, pp. 876–92. Technology, Georgia, U.S.A., report: From the Ham Sandwich to the Pizza Pie The conclusion of the classical ham sandwich The future, which of course is not truly predictable theorem of Banach and Steinhaus may be (according to most current theories, anyway), appears to strengthened: there always exists a common include the continued diversification of Ham Sandwich bisecting hyperplane that touches each of the theorizing. We conclude with a mention of a possible sets, that is, intersects the closure of each set. harbinger of things to come: Hence, if the knife is smeared with mayonnaise, a cut can always be made so that it will not only “From the Ham Sandwich to the Pizza Pie:
simultaneously bisect each of the ingredients, but A Simultaneous Zm Equipartition of Complex it will also spread mayonnaise on each. A discrete Measures,” Steven Simon, arXiv:1006.4614v8, analog of this theorem says that n finite nonempty 2010. sets in n-dimensional Euclidean space can always be simultaneously bisected by a single hyperplane Acknowledgement that contains at least one point in each set. Thanks to Stanley Eigen for bringing the Ham Sandwich Theorem to our attention.
What’s New on Improbable TV Check out the latest episode on Improbable Research TV. Then watch them all! WHAT: Three-minute videos about research that makes people laugh, then think. WHERE: On the web, at www.improbable.com and elsewhere.
12 | Annals of Improbable Research | May–June 2011 | vol. 17, no. 3 www.improbable.com A Device to Deter a Bear An abandoned way to frighten a frightening animal by Nan Swift, Improbable Research staff
These drawings tell the purpose and the workings of a intimidating the bear (or other animal) and making it retreat machine called a “pop-up device for deterring an attacking from an encounter it fears losing.” animal such as a bear,” invented by Adam Warwick Bell of Bell and Saunders see quickness as being important: San Francisco and Anthony Victor Saunders of London. Mr. Bell is a patent attorney and a biochemist. Mr. Saunders is a The device increases rapidly in size, thereby scaring mountain climber who walked atop Mount Everest (which, the animal and deterring the attack upon the user…. let us be clear, does not have bears at its summit) and other Inflation should be very rapid… the figure should mountains, and often returned in reasonably good health. be fully inflated within less than 1 minute, or within less than 30 seconds or preferably within less than The drawings are part of Bell and Saunders’s U.S. patent 10 seconds or most preferably within less than application (#10/634719), which they filed on August 5, 5 seconds. 2003, and which, on June 7, 2005, the Patent Office declared to be “abandoned.” Convenience The application includes this summary: “The pop-up device may be carried by the hiker in any A device carried by the human hiker that comprises convenient manner,” say Bell and Saunders: a pop-up (preferably inflatable) figure that is large It may be carried as a self-contained unit that and may be rapidly deployed by the user. The figure could be placed in a back-pack or side pocket of a is meant to scare away an attacking or aggressive knapsack... or carried in the hand... or incorporated animal such as a bear. The activation of the pop-up into clothing or luggage... [or] incorporated into the figure may be accompanied by noises and/or smells hilt of a walking-stick. and/or projectiles and/or smoke. The incorporated-into-a-knapsack version, especially, has The inventors say that their methods “may be applied to a James-Bond-ness about it: many different kinds of animal such as elk, moose, mountain lions, buffalo, hippopotamus, rhino, elephant, boar and other [W]hen confronted by a bear, the device could be animals that are known to be dangerous to man.” quickly and easily activated by the hiker by pulling a cord. The figure would inflate and pop up out of “The Invention,” they explain, “works on the principle of the back-pack, presenting the attacking bear with maximizing the apparent size and ferocity of the human, continued >
The essential filing data from Bell and Saunders’s patent application.
www.improbable.com Annals of Improbable Research | May–June 2011 | vol. 17, no. 3 | 13 A Device to Deter a Bear (continued)
a huge and frightening figure of an opponent, and Deterrent Odors optionally, concomitantly producing noises and/or The invention makes use of biological smells: smells and/or projectiles and/or smoke.... [The] deployment of the device may be [The] pop-up figure may be separate from the back- accompanied by an odor, such as the odor of a pack or detachable from the backpack and may be male (or female) bear, or a strong sulphurous or left in place, between the human and the bear as the ammoniacal odor. For example, the musky odor of human retreats. a bear would enhance the credibility of the ruse, and help convince the attacking bear that he is being Deterrent Noises faced with a very powerful, aggressive and musky The invention makes use of a noise or noises: opponent. The activation of the device may additionally The inventors suggest an alternate, or perhaps additional, include a simultaneous noise, such as one or more type of odorant, and perhaps using some means to direct its explosive “bangs,” a fog-horn, or a loud roaring flow in some particular direction: sound or a screaming sound meant to frighten, A gas or liquid-such as a pepper-spray type liquid disorientate or startle the attacking bear.... [F]or or an odorous or noxious gas or liquid, could be example, one may chose a noise that resembled a sprayed at the threatening animal using a container, deep and very loud roar, or an ear-splitting claxon. such as a pressurized container, optionally using an aiming device.
“Sequence of events showing (a) a hiker hiking (b) a hiker encountering a bear (c) the hiker activating the device of the invention (d) the bear fleeing in terror.” This sparely worded sentence from the patent application barely hints at some of the many alternatives to bells and whistles—both of which are explicitly mentioned, in the document, as being prior, inferior technology—that the inventors envision as enhancements to the basic invention.
14 | Annals of Improbable Research | May–June 2011 | vol. 17, no. 3 www.improbable.com Smoke, Too The inventors gave thought to smoking the bear. They write: [T]he deployment of the device may be accompanied by the production of smoke that would confuse, startle or disorientate an aggressive bear or other dangerous animal. Smoke may be produced from a typical “smoke-bomb” type of device, which is a chemical, pyrotechnic composition, which when ignited produces smoke, which may be coloured.... Safety appears to be evermost in Bell and Saunders’s minds, as here when they immediately add: When using a pyrotechnic-type smoke bomb, it may be desirable to minimize the risk of fire by shielding any heat or fire generating element from the environment.... A few sentences later, the reader is almost forced to envision what seems an elaborate, stylized dance involving three figures, one of whom vanishes stage left, leaving the other two to contemplate their next move: The smoke-producing device may be combined The device immediately with [the] pop-up figure that is also detachable and after deployment. may be left in place, between the human and the bear as the human retreats. And Projectiles Near the end of the patent application, Bell and Saunders also toss in a little something extra to toss out: Additionally, the deployment of the device may be accompanied by the launching of projectiles. [This] would further confuse, scare, and disorientate the bear. Such projectiles could be launched from a mortar or mortar-type device.
The device can emit noxious smells and sounds, as indicated graphically here.
www.improbable.com Annals of Improbable Research | May–June 2011 | vol. 17, no. 3 | 15 Bear Research Review Research by, for, or about bears by Alice Shirrell Kaswell, Improbable Research staff
Bear-Urine-Bearing Snowballs “Beyond Demography and Delisting: Ecological Recovery for Yellowstone’s Grizzly Bears and Wolves,” Sanjay Pyare and Joel Berger, Biological Conservation, vol. 113, 2003, pp. 63–73. (Thanks to Mark Burkey for bringing this to our attention.) The authors explain their work thusly: Control and experimental treatments representing olfactory cues of grizzly bears and wolves were presented to moose in random sequences. Treatments were administered by placement of snowballs immersed in either urine (for wolves) or feces (grizzly bears) to within four body lengths of foraging females. Some Dimensions of Some Bears “Nipple Dimensions and Reproductive Status of North- eastern Minnesota Female Black Bears (Ursus americanus),” R.T. Brooks, American Midland Naturalist, vol. 137, no. 1, 1997, pp. 178–82. (Thanks to Grant Boston for bringing this to our attention.)
Detail from the Pyare/Berger study about snowballs laced with one or another kind of substance.
Detail from the Brooks study of black bear nipple dimensions.
16 | Annals of Improbable Research | May–June 2011 | vol. 17, no. 3 www.improbable.com Black Bears Prefer Minivans “Selective Foraging for Anthropogenic Resources by Black Bears: Minivans in Yosemite National Park,” Stewart W. Breck, Nathan Lance, and Victoria Seher, Journal of Mammalogy, vol. 90, no. 5, 2009, pp. 1041–4. (Thanks to Mike Goldstein for bringing this to our attention.) The authors, at the United States Department of Agriculture– Wildlife Service–National Wildlife Research Center in Fort Collins, Colorado and at Yosemite National Park, California, report: [We] analyzed data on vehicles broken into by bears from Yosemite National Park, California. We classified vehicles into 9 categories based on their make and model and collected data on use (2001–2007) and availability (2004–2005). From 2001 to 2007 bears broke into 908 vehicles at the following rates: minivan (26.0%), sport– utility vehicle (22.5%), small car (17.1%), sedan (13.7%), truck (11.9%), van (4.2%), sports car (1.7%), coupe (1.7%), and station wagon (1.4%). Only use of minivans (29%) during 2004–2005 was significantly higher than expected (7%). We discuss several competing hypotheses about why bears Detail from the Breck/Lance/Seher study about what kinds of vehicles selected minivans. black bears break into.
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www.improbable.com Annals of Improbable Research | May–June 2011 | vol. 17, no. 3 | 17 Troy’s New Book of Bear (and Other) Adventures by Marc Abrahams, Improbable Research staff
Troy Hurtubise, who was Bear Man: The Troy Hurtubise Saga is published by Raven awarded the 1998 Ig Nobel House Publishing in Westbrook, Maine, USA, and weighs Prize in safety engineering, in at 232 pages. This is Troy’s magnum opus, the tersely- for developing and personally told summary of his yearnings, frustrations, triumphs, and testing a suit of armor that is philosophy. The book includes many of Troy’s previous impervious to grizzly bears, writings on these subjects, augmented with a powerful-as- has a new book out. a-riled-up-grizzly collection of previously private photos, Here’s a passage that brings philosophy, prose, intellectualizing, and emoting. together some of the main Troy reveals activities and feelings that broaden his almost- themes. Troy reveals a few storybook reputation as a tough, unsentimenal man who loves secrets about the most advanced only his family, technology, and the Canadian wilderness. version of his suit, the hard-shelled, shiny techno-fruit of Troy shares with us a letter from Queen Elizabeth of the 15 mostly unfunded years of fevered solo R&D: United Kingdom, to whom he had sent some lightly- “Electronically speaking, the M-7 was right out of a movie. fictionalized writings about his personal knowledge of It sported an onboard viewing screen, an onboard computer angels. Troy says: “This great lady of ladies found the built into the thigh cavity, a bite-bar on the right forearm, time to read my novellas and to respond to me in a letter a five-way voice activated radio system, and an electronic through her Lady in waiting… I was so overwhelmed by temperature monitor. For protection against the grizzly’s Her Majesty’s kindness that I dedicated the third novella claws and teeth, the M-7 boasted an from the series, The Canadians, entire exoskeleton made up of my in her honor…. As for her son, newly developed excalibre blunt Prince Charles, his letter to me was trauma foam to dissipate the bear’s stamped confidential.” deadly power....Testing on the the Bear Man: The Troy Hurtubise Saga M-7 [was] short and sweet. A thirty- makes a lovely gift for any young ton front-end loader in fourth gear girl or boy who might some day have smashed me through a non-mortared to unexpectedly decide whether to brick wall and I suffered not a bruise. devote a lifetime to inventing, testing, The world watched the test on CNN, and informing the world about new and then came the sheer stupidity that ways to protect themselves against nearly cost me my life, the fire test. grizzly bears while doing no harm to My bear research suits were never the animals, all the while struggling to designed for fire.” lead a good and bold and worthy life and set a fine example for the youth of today and the future. Troy’s bear-suit research, which brought him the fame and respect he now enjoys, is best seen in the documentary Project Grizzly, produced by the National Film Board of Canada in 1996. You can watch it online at
Troy Hurtubise in an early version of the series of suits of armor he invented to protect himself against grizzly bears. Photo courtesy of A letter received by Troy Hurtubise. Troy Hurtubise.
18 | Annals of Improbable Research | May–June 2011 | vol. 17, no. 3 www.improbable.com XKCD by Randall Monroe: “Centrifuge”
xkcd.com
www.improbable.com Annals of Improbable Research | May–June 2011 | vol. 17, no. 3 | 19 May We Recommend: Cheney and Crows Items that merit a trip to the library compiled by Stephen Drew, Improbable Research staff
The Effect of Dick Cheney on Crows dangerous person and continues to do so for at least 2.7 years. We exposed wild crows to a novel “Lasting Recognition of Threatening People by Wild ‘dangerous face’ by wearing a unique face mask American Crows,” John M. Marzluff, Jeff Walls, Heather as we trapped, banded and released 7–15 birds at N. Cornell, John C. Withey, and David P. Craig, Animal five sites near Seattle, WA, U.S.A. After trapping, Behaviour, vol. 79, 2010, pp. 699–707. The authors, crows consistently used harsh vocalizations to scold at University of Washington, Seattle, Washington, and and mob people of different sizes, ages, genders Willamette University, Salem, Oregon, report: and walking gaits who wore the dangerous mask, Here we demonstrate experimentally that a even when they were in crowds. In contrast, prior to cognitively advanced, social bird, the American trapping, few crows scolded people who wore the crow, Corvus brachyrhynchos, quickly and dangerous mask. [One of the masks resembles the accurately learns to recognize the face of a face of former US Vice President Dick Cheney.]
Detail from the crows study.
20 | Annals of Improbable Research | May–June 2011 | vol. 17, no. 3 www.improbable.com Ig® Nobel Limericks: Photos, Hell, Tips Ig Nobel Achievements distilled into limerick form by Martin Eiger, Improbable Research Limerick Laureate
The Ig Nobel Prizes honor 1994 Ig Nobel 2008 Ig Nobel achievements that first make people laugh, then make them think. For Mathematics Prize Economics Prize The prize was awarded to the The prize was awarded to Geoffrey details of all the Ig Nobel Prize– Southern Baptist Church of Alabama, Miller, Joshua Tybur and Brent winning achievements, see each year’s mathematical measurers of morality, for Jordan of the University of New special Ig Nobel issue of the magazine, their county-by-county estimate of how Mexico, U.S.A., for discovering and also see
www.improbable.com Annals of Improbable Research | May–June 2011 | vol. 17, no. 3 | 21 Puzzling Solutions Solution to Last Month’s Puzzler by Emil Filterbag, Improbable Research staff
Wernher von Braun, upside down.
AIR Teachers’ Guide Three out of five teachers agree: curiosity is a dangerous thing, especially in students. If you are one of the other two teachers, AIR and mini-AIR can be powerful tools. Choose your favorite hAIR-raising article and give copies to your students. The approach is simple. The scientist thinks that he (or she, or whatever), of all people, has discovered something about how the universe behaves. So:
• Is this scientist right—and what does “right” mean, anyway? • Can you think of even one different explanation that works as well or better? • Did the test really, really, truly, unquestionably, completely test what the author thought he was testing? • Is the scientist ruthlessly honest with himself about how well his idea explains everything, or could he be suffering from wishful thinking? • Some people might say this is foolish. Should you take their word for it? • Other people might say this is absolutely correct and important. Should you take their word for it? Kids are naturally good scientists. Help them stay that way.
22 | Annals of Improbable Research | May–June 2011 | vol. 17, no. 3 www.improbable.com Soft Is Hard Further evidence why the “soft” sciences are the hardest to do well compiled by Alice Shirrell Kaswell and Bissell Mango, Improbable Research staff
Attractiveness of Leg Length: Report From 27 Nations “Attractiveness of Leg Length: Report From 27 Nations,” Piotr Sorokowski et al., Journal of Cross-Cultural Psychology, vol. 42, no. 1, January 2011, pp. 131–9. The authors, at a great many institutions, explain: The leg-to-body ratio (LBR) Judges’ Decisions and each decision session and is a morphological index that Meal Breaks returns abruptly to ≈65% has been shown to influence a after a break. Our findings “Extraneous Factors in Judicial person’s attractiveness. In our suggest that judicial rulings Decisions,” Shai Danziger, Jonathan research, 3,103 participants can be swayed by extraneous Levav, and Liora Avnaim-Pesso, from 27 nations rated the variables that should have no Proceedings of the National Academy physical attractiveness of bearing on legal decisions. of Sciences, e-pub, April 11, 2011. seven male and seven female The authors, at Ben Gurion University silhouettes varying in LBR. “I Can’t Believe This of the Negev, Israel, and Columbia We found that male and University, New York, U.S.A., explain: Isn’t Wood!” female silhouettes with short “I Can’t Believe This Isn’t Wood! and excessively long legs were We test the common caricature An Investigation in the Perception perceived as less attractive of realism that justice is “what of Naturalness,” Krista E. Overvliet across all nations. Hence, the judge ate for breakfast” and Salvador Soto-Faraco, Acta the LBR may significantly in sequential parole decisions Psychologica, vol. 136, no. 1, January influence perceptions of made by experienced judges. 2011, pp. 95–111. The authors, at physical attractiveness We record the judges’ two University of Leuven (K.U. Leuven), across nations. daily food breaks, which Belgium and at Institució Catalana result in segmenting the de Recerca i Estudis Avançats, Spain, deliberations of the day explain: into three distinct “decision sessions.” We find that the In the present study we percentage of favorable investigated how sensory rulings drops gradually from input (vision and touch) ≈65% to nearly zero within contributes to the perception of naturalness in wood. Participants rated samples of wood or imitations thereof, such as vinyl and veneers.... The results show a high degree of consistency across measurement methods, suggesting that we measured a common underlying construct that relates to naturalness.... [We] found that both vision and touch are highly correlated predictors of visuo-tactile perception of naturalness. Detail from the leg length attractiveness study.
www.improbable.com Annals of Improbable Research | May–June 2011 | vol. 17, no. 3 | 23 Boys Will Be Boys Research by and for adolescent males of all ages and sexes compiled by Katherine Lee, Improbable Research staff
Penile Strangulation by The King’s Imperious Seal Wedding Ring “Sexual Harassment of a King Penguin “Treatment of Penile Strangulation by an Antarctic Fur Seal,” P.J. Nico de Caused by Constricting Devices,” Bruyn, Cheryl A. Tosh, and Marthán Frank G.E Perabo, Gabriel Steiner, N. Bester, Journal of Ethology, vol. Peter Albers, and Stefan C Müller, 26, no. 2 , May 2008, pp. 295–7. Urology, vol. 59, no. 1, January (Thanks to Tom Ulrich for bringing this 2002, p. 137. The authors, at, Bonn to our attention.) The authors, at the University, Germany, report: University of Pretoria, South Africa, report: Constricting devices placed on the penis present a Males of gregarious pinnipeds challenge to urologists. are often aggressive to Various nonmetallic and conspecifics and sexual metallic objects are placed on coercion of females is the penis to increase sexual commonplace. Males of some performance or because of pinniped species have been autoerotic intentions. We describe five different cases of < Detail from the study “Sexual strangulating objects (wedding Harassment of a King Penguin ring, metal plumbing cuff, bull by an Antarctic Fur Seal.” ring, hammer-head, and plastic bottle neck) and demonstrate that each case needs individual handling in removing the object. The treatment of penile strangulation ... requires no particular skill but does require resourcefulness to perform the removal simply and effectively, and with as little discomfort for the patient as possible. Detail from the study “Treatment of Penile Strangulation Caused by Constricting Devices.”
24 | Annals of Improbable Research | May–June 2011 | vol. 17, no. 3 www.improbable.com known to attempt interspecific Sexual Intercourse and Masturbation, copulation, occasionally being successful in producing and Restless Legs Syndrome hybrid offspring. The most “Sexual Intercourse and Masturbation: extreme case of interspecific Potential Relief Factors for Restless sexual coercion reported Legs Syndrome?”, Luis F. Marin, concerned species from André C. Felicio, and Gilmar F. different families. We report Prado, Sleep Medicine, vol. 12, no. a case of interspecific sexual 4, April 2011, p. 422. The authors harassment bridging the rank are at Universidade Federal de São of vertebrate class. Paulo, Sao Paulo, Brazil. (Thanks to Sam Michel for bringing this to our attention.)
“Domestication of the Dog” by Nick Kim by Nick KIM CARTOON KIM CARTOON
www.improbable.com Annals of Improbable Research | May–June 2011 | vol. 17, no. 3 | 25 Ig® and Beyond: Sparrow & Condom Some further research adventures of Ig Nobel Prize winners ® compiled by Nan Swift, Improbable Research staff
Sparrows’ Take on Painting Styles Smelly Sex and Condom Use “Discriminative and Reinforcing Properties of Paintings in “Smells Like Safe Sex: Olfactory Pathogen Java Sparrows (Padda oryzivora),” Yuko Ikkatai and Shigeru Primes Increase Intentions to Use Condoms,” Watanabe, Animal Cognition, vol. 14, no. 2, March 2011, Joshua M. Tybur, Angela D. Bryan, Renee pp. 227–34. Shigero Watanabe shared the 1995 Ig Nobel E. Magnan, and Ann E. Caldwell Hooper, Prize in psychology for training pigeons to discriminate Psychological Science, vol. 22, no. 4, 2011, between the paintings of Picasso and those of Monet. pp. 47880. Joshua Tybur shared the 2008 Ig Here, the authors, at the Japan Society for the Promotion Nobel Prize in economics for discovering that of Science and Keio University, both in Tokyo, report: professional lap dancers earn higher tips when they are ovulating. Here, the authors, at the It has been shown that music composed by University of New Mexico, explain: humans has both discriminative and reinforcing properties when played for Java sparrows. Here, we [We] aimed to test a novel hypothesis related to investigated the effects of another artistic medium condom use: that ecological cues for the presence in Java sparrows, namely paintings. The first of pathogens would increase intentions to use experiment tested the reinforcing properties. Staying condoms.... time at three painting categories—Japanese, cubist, In the pathogen-prime condition, while participants and impressionist—was measured as an index of were out of the room, the experimenter sprayed their reinforcing properties. The second experiment the wall of the room with a single pump of used operant conditioning to reveal “Liquid ASS,” a novelty odor liquid that smells the discriminative properties of strongly of common bacterial threats (e.g., feces). the different artistic styles of such In the control condition, the experimenter did not paintings. Results suggest that the administer the spray. After returning from getting paintings have both discriminative water, participants reported their intentions to and reinforcing properties for Java purchase and use condoms over the next sparrows. 6 months.... As predicted, participants exposed Bird psychology researcher Shigero to pathogen cues reported greater intentions Watanabe. Portrait by Nan Swift, to use condoms than did participants in the Improbable Research staff control condition.
< Detail from the study Discriminative TOP: The “novelty odor liquid” spray and Reinforcing Properties of used in the study “Smells Like Safe Sex: Paintings in Java Sparrows Olfactory Pathogen Primes Increase (Padda oryzivora).” Intentions to Use Condoms.”
26 | Annals of Improbable Research | May–June 2011 | vol. 17, no. 3 www.improbable.com Subscribe Today! Time to Renew!Use this form, ...your subscriptionor to do it online at Annals of Improbablewww.improbable.com Research Research that makes people LAUGH, then THINK or do it online at www.improbable.com
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SEND TO: AIR PO Box 380853 Cambridge MA 02238 USA telephone: 617-491-4437 fax: 617-661-0927 [email protected] www.improbable.com www.cafepress.com/ignobel www.improbable.com Annals of Improbable Research | May–June 2011 | vol. 17, no. 3 | 27 Ptak: Big Airships of the 1800s by John F. Ptak Ptak Science Books historyofideasblog.com
Some very large aircraft were designed in the nineteenth century, although most or all of them were never built. Here are two of the biggest. Often the reproduction of a print for popular consumption just doesn’t come anywhere near expressing the flavor of the original. Such is the case with this drawing, figure 61 in Gaston Tissandier’s Bibliotheque des Merveilles la Navigation Aerienne, l’Aviation et la Direction des Aerostats (printed in Paris in 1886). Looking at the reprint, one may not appreciate the enormity of Prosper Meller’s (the younger) airship. The Meller balloon would, according to the scale at the bottom of the image, measure a spectacular 200 meters/ 650 feet or so. It’s when you zoom in on the detail of the people aboard the ship that the size of the aircraft becomes more appreciable. The more detailed print appears in Meller’s rare work Des Aerostats, Navigation Aerienne, Chemin de fer Aerostatique, printed in Bordeaux in 1851. The ship was never built, but it did serve as an intellectual forerunner of the more modern zeppelin. During the same era, others designed large airships (here, for example is a craft conceived of by M. Pétin), but none quite The detailed minutiae in the original, visible here, are lost in so vast as Meller’s behemoth. the more popular reprint.
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www.improbable.com Annals of Improbable Research | May–June 2011 | vol. 17, no. 3 | 29 PERIODICALS What is this picture? (see page 1)
ISSN 1079-5146 print / 1935-6862 online Annals of Improbable Research Volume 17, Number 3 P.O. Box 380853 May–June 2011 Cambridge, MA 02238, USA (+1) 617.491.4437 30 | Annals of Improbable Research | May–June 2011 | vol. 17, no. 3 www.improbable.comwww.improbable.com