, THE MICHIGAN REVIEW Volume 12, Number 2 The Campus Affairs Journal of the University of Michigan September 22,1993 U-M Professor Politically Assaulted

BY NATE JAMISON QQldberg's racist and sexist views, Goldberg's course racist and sexist, letter to the U-M administration de­ , Other complaints focused on , When the allegations first surfaced, fending Goldberg, to which they affixed HAT HAPPENS WHEN QQldberg's teaching style, which some Sociology Department Chair Howard 59 signatures, Nineteen other people academic freedom clashes describe as combative, claiming that it Schuman informed Professor Goldberg wrote letters on QQldberg's behalf, in­ Wwith the "politically correct" makes learning in his classroom diffi- and the complaining students that cluding philosophy professor Carl (PC) views of many students and fac- cult for women and minorities, QQldberg would no longer be teaching Cohen, who in a letter to the University ulty at the University of Michigan? Goldberg's accusers also cited prob- 510, and furthermore, that QQldberg Record expressed his disapproval of Should students be forced to take a lems with his exams. According to an would not be teaching any other courses the way the department handled the course taught by a professor whom they in-depth article on the subject - en- required by the department, ,'I affair, as well as his dissatisfaction believe is racist and sexist? These are titled "The QQldberg Affair" - which Schuman, however, soon changed his with the U-M's increasingly common just some of the questions that the U- appears in the September issue of the mind. According to the Observer, at an desire to promote sensitivity and diver­ M must ask itself in the wake of the Ann Arbor Observer, many students April 14 faculty meeting, faculty mem­ sity at the expense offree speech. latest academic scandal to hit campus were concerned with the difficulty of bers made it clear that they would not A disturbing aspect of the case is the - the Goldberg Incident. the second of two hourly exams. When support Golberg's removal. Schuman lack of a strong response by the admin­ David Goldberg, a professor in the questioned by his students as to why responded by creating another section istration. Aside from a few carefully­ U- M's Sociology department, is known the exam was so difficult, Goldberg of the course while allowing Goldberg worded, ambiguous replies, the U-M as an expert in the field of social statis- replied that he intended to determine to continue teaching 510. 'This compro­ has been silent on the matter. It seems tics, Last fall he taught Sociology 510, how much each student had learned. mise angered everyone involved. The willing to let Goldberg sink, lest it ap­ a required COUl'8e for all sociology gradu- This drew a flurry of complaints from students felt that Goldberg should not pear to be condoning insensitivity. ate students. Based on some of his in- some students, who took exception to be teaching the courSe at all, while his Currently, Professor Goldberg is class comments, he has been accused of the fact that some might be judged as supporters felt he had been declared teaching one oftwo sections of 510 (a racism and sexism, and thus pushed to being better than others. This sort of guilty and punished quietly in the ab­ course that usually attracts fewer than the forefront of the PC debate. evaluation, said the students, showed a sence of solid evidence of wrongdoing, 40 people). Schuman has resigned as Just what did Goldberg do to incite bias against women and minorities. A few weeks after the incident, sf!ll=' ~ head of the department. Richard this controversy? According to a flyer The most ridiculous example of era! sociology faculty members Wrote a Lumpert took over on September 3.m. distributed throughout campus on ' Goldberg's alleged violations dealt with March 31, 1993, by an anonymous group a cartoon in his 510 coursepack. 'The of graduate students" Goldberg cartoon depicts a caveman working on Michigan Conservative harrassed students in Me course be- a pair of dice while a cavewoman asks, cause of their "racial or ethnicidenti- "What kind of nonsense are you work- ties, gender, or sexual orientation." 'This ing on now?" Goldberg intended the Conference Scheduled alleged harassment supposedly ,oc- cartoon to poke fun at statistics, yet his curred in the context,, of several ex- accusers claim that it shows his "de- BY JAMES A. ROBERTS, n fending of heritage," says Christian amples u~ by Goldberg'to illustrate meaning attitude towards women" by Cali, chairman ofU-M SFA "History points in his lectures. depicting them as irrational compared ITH THE POLITICIZATION in this country," he articulates, "has Nl.UD.erouscomplainta involved in- to men, who are presumably more ra- of curricula and the restric­ [been] altered by people who with an Btanres,where Goldberg,tMtluatM'trueh .... tiona! because they can make dice, W tion of free speech common­ agenda that attempts to destruct tradi­ PC orthodoxies as the' assertions that 'ThrOughout the affair, Goldberg has place on American college campuses tional America." Many students across women·earn 59 cents for 'every dollar maintained his innocence. He says some today, an opposition to political correct­ the country are now receiving a politi­ that men earn, or that blacks score students 'wanted to find him racist and ness has been growing. Many of those cized education - one that leans exclu­ significantly lower than whites on stan- sexist and consistently misconstrued who lead this rebellion will meet on the sively to the left. Cali hopes that the dardized tests due to racial bias, his statements. He refuses to remove campus of the University of Michigan conference will educate students that In debunking what he saw as statis- the material in question from his course, at the end of this month, when the~ such leftist indoctrination in the class­ tical myths, Goldberg adjusted data for claiming it is not insensitive. first-ever Michigan Conservative Con­ room is a reality. By highlighting the variables such as age, education·and Goldberg also taught another social ference will be held, Sponsored by U­ importance of students' rights in the income distribution' to shoW that these statistics course, Sociology 210, which M Students for America (SFA) and as­ classroom, the conference, according to ao-oilled «tru.ths"'ateMto'infiillibl&/ahd " ,is essentially an undergraduate ver­ sisted by the U-M College Republi­ Cali, will encourage students "to stand that statistics can be int.ePpreted dif-" sioH ()f 510 and uses much of the same cans, the event will take place on Sep­ up for what they believe in and to reject ferently to reach divergenta>nclusions; ' , material Surprisingly, none of the same tember 29, 30, and October 1, with a a lot of the fads" that plague American 'Ibis application ofaeceptedilstattstical s aCCU8ati:enesurfaced among students prominent speaker featured each education today. techniques was descri~by his secus- · .in 210. 'The graduate students in 510 evening.

ers 8S aim ply, amaltifeeta,tion' of < wenNq)Jlarently the only people to find "'Ibis [conference] concerns the de- See CONFERENCE, Page 9 A message to our readers ... In our continuing effort to bring you a quality . 1 Feel Your From Suite Music Pain One 11 newspaper, we have changed our publishing 3 4 schedule from once a week to once every other Uve From Ann Arbor: lJ-M football fans aren't Reviews of the latest . week. We believe that this new format will let us Crossfire! doing their part for the releases by The Breeders, dedicate more of our efforts to improving quality team. The Impatients, and more. while giving 'LIS the time to produce a great paper.

,•., ..... ,~,-...... -"" .. ~'''~''..,...,.." ..'' .;>'"' .. '''' ~,~, ~ ...... -., ..,,~ ... '''''' '...... ~''''~ __ "'''__ ' l.'II1 "''''_ ''i'I! ow; .,., « ;u > 2 THE MICmGAN REVIEW September 22, 1993

~.

~ " ~ ,, ;- THE i\lICHIG:\\ RE\,IE\\' The Campus Affairs Journal of the o THE SERPENT'S TOOTH University of Michigan 'We are the Establishment"

EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR: Andrew Bockelman Something to consider in light of this Maryland. In case you're wondering, the state's Planned Parenthood League, EDITOR-IN-CHIEF: Tracy Robinson year's loss to Notre Dame: When asked that's all one place. "This is not a religious issue. This is PUBLISHER: Aaron Steelman if he had read Under the Tarnished about health." It's also about contribut­ EXECUTIVE EDITORS: Jay D. McNeill, Stacey Walker CONTRIBUTING EDITORS: Nate Jarrison, Brian Schelke Dome, a book which details supposed Hurray for the ACLU! It seems their ing to the delinquency of a minor, since wrongdoings in the ND football pro­ Michigan executive director, Howard any 12 year-{)ld who engages in sex ASSISTANT EDITORS: Eddie Amer. James Roberts gram, Gary Moeller said, "I have not Simon, pressured the state's public would be committing statutory rape. MUSIC EDITORS : Chris Peters, Drew Peters read it and do not expect to read it prior schools to discourage students from Attorney Larry Crain argues that the COpy EDITOR: Chauncey Hitchcock to the game. I'm not into reading any attending prayer rallies at flag poles on district's action "inevitably entangles PHOTOGRAPHERS: Joe Westrate, Andy Wu ADVERTiSING DIRECTOR: Jon Lajiness books." Maybe he should read "Spot­ September 15. "See You at the Pole," the school and the child with an issue CIRCULA TION DIRECTOR: Eric Larson ting Your Receivers" to Todd Collins. sponsored by the American Center for which is at its core both religious and SYSTEMS ANALYST: Mtch Rohde Law and Justice (founded by evange­ ethical." Where's the ACLU? Church + MTS COORDINATOR: James Elek One more reason why the government list Pat Robertson of 700 Club fame), State + Condoms::: Bad. EDITORIAL STAFF: Jason Asana, Scott Brady, Joe should stay out of health care: In order asked interested students to gather, of Epstein, Frank Grabowski, Gene Krass, Tom Kuczajda, to get a copy of the U.S. Directory of their own volition, at school flag poles It's always nice to see public funds for Michaelliu, Crusty MIncher, Yawar Mlrad, Tom Paska, Facilities Obligated to Provide in order to pray. According to ACLU scientific research put to good use. Ac­ JeH St. Miklosi, Zaid SaJroon, TS Taylor, Perry Th~ , Uncompensated Services by State and legal director Paul Denenfeld, however, cording to the Detroit News, "A 40- Martin Wllk, Man Wilk, Tony Woodlief, Yoda City as of January 1, 1994 (also known this uncoerced act of free will was "ille­ pound mushroom that was going to be EDITOR-AT-LARGE: Tony Ghecea as a "directory of free clinics"), you gal and inappropriate." Of course, if dried and stored at Purdue University EDITORS EMERITI: Adam DeVore, John J. Miller, Jeff must contact the publisher at the "U.s. you wanted to urinate all over that flag as an educational specimen was in­ Mlir Department of Health and Human Ser­ pole in public, that would be your stead sauteed in butter and eaten by vices, Public Health Service, Health ACLU-given right. three scientists." Must have packed an The Mchigan Review is an independent, weektt student­ Resource and Services Administration, awesome buzz. run journal at the University a Michigan. We nenher solicit Bureau of Health Maintenance Orga­ What's so wrong about giving free nor accept roonetary donations from the University of nizations and Resources Development, condoms to 12 year-{)lds? That's what Imagine if Dr. Jack Kevorkian was a Mchigan, and we have no respect for anyone that does. Office of Health Facilities, Division of school administrators in Falmouth, urologist. "Do you have trouble going to Contributions to the Mchigan Review are tax~eductible ? .y.... . under Section 501 (c)(3) 01 the Internal Revenue Code. We Facilities Compliance, Assurances Data Mass. , have begun doing in their local the b.athroom. Are y~u msecure a~out .. also have no respect for the federalgO'lernmen~ 00t send and Analysis Branch" in Rockville, junior high. Says Susan Krutz, head of the SIZe of your weerue? Is your phallus us yoor rooney arrfWay. The Review is not affiliated with down for the count? 'There's nothing my any political party . third~egree circumcision machine Unsigned ed~orials represent the opinion of the editorial We invite you to join can't fix! Just put it on & whack it off" board. Signed articles and cartoons represent the opinions fA the author and not necessaritt those 01 the Review. The We were rather disappointed with the opinions presented in this publication are not necessarily Michigan Daily'S recent editorial de­ those of the advertisers or the University a MChtgan. We welcome letters and articles ar.j encourage corrroents crying the Washington Redskins' "in­ about the journal anq isS!Jes discussed in it Keep in mind, sensitive" nickname, They overlooke.d we might change yooI, opinions to roore resemble ours. similar insensitivity much closer to home. 'The state of Michigan is, of oourse, Please address all subscription inquiries 'to: Circulation We're pretty cool. Director C/o~he 'Mchigan Review, AU advertising inquiries named for the Algonquian Indian word should be diected tQ: Advertising Director c/o.tIJe J.tci1igan meaning "great water." This implies Review. . . The Michigan Review is the student-run journal of cam­ . . '! . .: ' that Indians are statists or, even worse, , " '." ~ . f - , • - . . " pus affairs and campus politics at the U-M. We are in communists. The color of co:qll~unisllJ. ,. EDITORiAL AND eUSINESS'OFtleeS: . ' , 1 )": i&llTEONE i.• , ' , need of writers, editors, artists, photographers, layout is red. Indians generally have red ~l¢.n. This is institutional racisml . " , . ', 9U Nii UNNERSI1Y AVENUE:, , i / . staff, and business staff to join us in our fight against: . ANN ARBOR, MI 48109-1265 Speaking of insensitivity, Alethea Gor­ TEL (313) 662-1909 don of the Black Student Union was FA X (313) 936-2505 • Political correctness The _Michigan_Rev [email protected] recently quoted in the Daily as saying, • Restrictions on liberty "'All Black students are automaticallY ) [ ' t.: '£ 'j :--, members' of the BSU." Such swee~~~ Cop'yr\ghttC 19l13,iJy The MlthlganRevlew, Int:' .' • Politicized education 't. ,!" , All 'rlghts reserved. ' . ; . generalizations about minoritiEisL , . • Alcohol-free beer , . '... . ' . ' ~S; >t .p { ~ " ' ~:' ; . ,' In a new commercial about ;~lpr~ __~_ . _. _ '_' _-___ If you are interested in joining our staff, please call Tracy, ness, rapper Ice-T st:ate!, "'lbia~j;JI~ ,WFD LIKE TO ': T and I w~t you to live. Unle~ ~oure REMIND "'OU Tl...J AlI '.', Aaron, or Andrew at 662-1909, or attend: a oop, that 18. '. . l' 1 n.n THE UNCENSORED CONTENT AJier the budget package passed OF THIS NEWSPAPER IS The Michigan Review Mass Meeting through Congress this summer, Dick Gephardt exclaimed, "Seventy percent MADE POSSIBLE BY Sunday, September 26, at 7:00 p.m. of the revenues come from people who THE CONSTITUTION OF earn $200,000 or more. That's fair. THE UNITED STATES. That's right." Wrong. That's left. THE CONSTITUTION The meeting will be held on the third floor of the Michi­ The words we live ly Ope good reason why c;ePtraJ. planning gan League building: it't the : ~~~~~~n ;Room. Tv 10m mOR 3bout tht CClhstitlJthlln \vr1t(' , C.. "lO. Hltuu ~·~"I.'\lhshington< fIfI sucks: Festlfall - cancelled twice. D.C. :'0,00. ·Inc L L'ITIITlIi.il0fl .)l'1 the Btc cntcmUl ~,r n l(' l '.S. CV!1Stlwtion. ~

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' "" "'· ·'"· ·· ""· " "·>~ ·"" "'''.... <1 ·>'''''''''' ''· ''''''''' ~ M: ')<'''\' '''' ''ttw''"g,W''1 ''-''~ ~Y'''''''''''''''""'''''''' ~'''--''''~ ""l' _ ",""~ --_J ~~!IiI f Ul H $ MY September 22,1993 THE MICHIGAN REVIEW 3 o I FEEL YOUR PAIN Live, From Ann Arbor: Crossfire!

BY JAY D. McNEIU. be some kind of compromise between subject at hand. You say that Joe not the way it turned out. People now wealth creation and the other things Schmoe on the line in Detroit has no work eight hours a day, five days a IBERAL: THANK YOU FOR that are important in life. say in how long he works, huh? Well, let week because, over time, the free mar­ joining us, and welcome to Me: I "agree. But it seems as if your me tell you that Joe Schmoe is where he ket has determined that no other L CTWsfire. Tonight we'll be de­ "compromise" has resulted in five days is for a reason. He didn't work as hard. amount of time is more effecient or ciding once and for all, what part of the of work (wealth creation) per week ver- He's not as smart. He didn't take ad- desirable. Face it, Liberal: people enjoy week is best: weekends or weekdays. sus only two days of leisure (family vantage of the opportunities in life that creating and using wealth and they're Me: I know you're having a hard time, time, partying time) per week 'Thus we were presented to him, however small. happier doing that than anything else. Libernl, deciding which to choose. After have placed more value on creating Liberal: So you admit that those capi- Otherwise, they wouldn't choose to all, it's against your nature to state wealth than on anything talists do control the spend so much time on it. that one thing is better than another. else we undertake. work week Liberal: Oooof. You have backed me Liberal: Let's avoid the personal at­ Liberal: Hold on. Most Me: No, not at all. I'm into an intellectual corner from which I tacks and stick to the issue, shall we? people only work eight just tired of you ripping cannot escape. I'll admit it: You're right. I'll just come right out and say that I hours per work day, or on the achievers in soci- I'm wrong. People desire work more think the weekend is better by far. We i one thin! of the total hours ety and thought I'd re- than leisure. Let me bow down to you work our tails off from Monday to Fri­ in a day. A standard forty- spond to it for once. Capi- and kiss your feet. Or, while we're on day and the weekend represents a re­ hour work week com- talists, however brilliant the subject of M* A*S*H*, let me stand lief from all of that hassle. I like to have mands less than 25% of they may be, do not "con- up on the mess hall table, pull down my fun, unlike most of you stodgy conser­ the total hours in a week trol" the labor force. 'The pants, and sing, "Your the Tops" at the vatives, and summer is a season offun. In other words, it would workers in this country, top of my lungs. Me: To no one's surprise, you have appear that my "compro- however untalented they Me: We don't have a mess hall. Other­ taken this issue and only scratched the mise" has resulted in may be, have just as wise, I'd consider it Well, folks, thanks surl'ace with your juvenile thought pro­ people placing more of an The Right wins another one. much power as the-ex- for joining us tonight for another grip­ cess. Let me try something out on you. emphasis on leisure than work ecutives to detennine when and where ping edition of Crossfire. You agree with me when I say that, as Me: Wrong. By the end of the day, most they work. If those workers, on aver- Liberal: You're awesome. humans, we have control over how we people are tired and ready to go home; age, were really oriented to working Me: I know. spend our days, right? For instance, their productivity wanes in the late only three days a week instead offive, Liberal: Stop talking. I want to get the instead of working five days a week and hours. People need to sleep. This factor there wouldn't be many managers. whtr-" last word on this show. taking the other two off as we do now, distorts your ridiculous "total-hours- could do anything about it. But' that's Me:No. m we could work two days a week and per-week" theory. The values humans ,;~;~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ take five off. Or we could strike a prag­ place on wealth creation and leisure You are cordWUy invited to attend matic Ross Perotesque compromise and must not be calculated on total hours work 3.5 days a week Or we could even spent, but on how often our days have take Robert Fulghum's idea to an ex­ work included in them compared. to the treme and devote the entire day of number of days that have only leisure Dr. Roger Scruton Tuesday to sitting around, consuming in them. That tally is five to two. milk and cookies, and taking naps. If Liberal: Okay, I agree with you on that we wanted to. point, Jay, but you have proved nothing Uberal: So what's your point? We don't about human nature. The workers don't "In Defense of do any of those things. We work five determine the amount of time they days a week and take the other two off. spend on work and the amount of time We stumble out ofbed on Monday morn­ they spend on leisure. The capitialists the Humanities" ing, read the wonderful works of Bob do! '!be capitalists are the ones in con­ Talbert, and loyally trudge off to work trol of all the money and resources in or school. No one really likes the pro­ this country. 'They're the ones with all cess, but we do it anyway. of the power. Joe Schmoe on the line in Friday, October 1, 1993 at 2:00 p.m. Me: 'That's precisely my point "We do it Detroit has no say in the matter. anyway." Why? Some would say that Me: Wah, wah. Do you see this (rub­ In the Pendleton Room of the Michigan Union these activities are necessary to earn bing my index finger and thumb to­ money, put food on the table, provide gether in a circular motion)? It is the Dr. Roger Scruton, a Professor of Philosophy at Boston University, is for our children, and prepare for retire­ world's smallest violin and it's playing a world-renowned authority on conservative principles and humane ment 'That's true, but I say it's deeper just for you. education. Dr. Scruton's books include Art and Imagination (1974), than that. I say we love the process of Liberal: Nice way to steal that line The Meaning of Conservatism (1980), A Short History of Modem working, but don't realize it. I say we from M*A*S*H*. Philosophy (1981), The Politics of Culture (1981), Kant (1982), love Monday through Friday, but don't Me: M*A*S*H* ticks me off. Everyone realize it. in the 4077th was against the war ex­ Sexual Desire (1986), The Philosopher on Dover Beach (1991), and Liberal: 'That's precisely my point! cept for Hot Lips and Frank. Give me a Xanthippic Dialogues (1993), in addition to other works of fiction and There you are, a typical conservative, break Just another example of the left,.... philosophy. He founded and edited The Salisbury Review, and is a not willing to have any fun. Look, Jay, wing Hollywood elites exerting their founding member and trustee of the Jan I Ius Educational Foundation in influence. We needed to stop those there are more important things life and the Jagiellonian Trust, which helped to maintain the underground besides work.. Non-material things like commies in Korea. spending time with your family and Liberal: M* A*S*H* was a great show. universities in Eastern Europe under the communist regimes. friends have a value, too. There must The characters were against the war Presented by because it is the worst of all human Jay D. McNeill is a senior in Business impulses. Administration and executive editor Me: Some 'things, like freedom, are THE MICHIG.-\\ RE\'IE\\, .. of the Review..•.. , . , , ••• . , , worth the price of war. But back to the 4 THE MICHIGAN REVIEW September 22, 1993 .

o FROM SUITE ONE \ ,.. ~ r ~~ Football Fans Fail Team

OR MANY, our 27-23 loss to Notre Dame has become but a distant memory. Not for us. It weighs heavily in our minds. LlCtN~""" !I\H ~S4 '''On RtGIS11V-nOI"l>il' HW~,-"r.%~lSlX Our team obviously did not play their best game. Not by a long shot. tMPlovOI ' tiP-51 5i"1t SANI( F 1\tftl\£NCO ' 5t!.~~'It ~,, ·nt\ Gary Moeller had a penchant for punting late in the fourth quarter, and rwming draw plays on every down. Todd Collins telegraphed his passes so often that Lou 1HANkS FoR NOT PUlLIN6 ME OVER Holtz could have picked him off. The special teams tackled about as well as Cecil Fielder steals bases. But we've heard all this before, haven't we? One year we lost beca~ Rocket Ismail returned two kickoffs for touchdowns. Then we lost because Elvis Groac threw an interception on the 12-yard line and ND came back. to win on a deflected pass. It took Heisman Trophy winner Desmond Howard's incredible catch to secure us one unbelievable victory here in Ann Arbor. ~ -i Then we tied because Elvis threw an interception while driving for the win. In; ...:, ,... SUDl, Michigan beating Notre Dame compares to the Democrats winning the White ...'" House from the Republicans: it's practically a miracle, and no one expects it to ~ happen again anytime soon. In spite ofall this, Michigan consistently produces some of the best recruiting classes in the nation. Players are impressed by our tradition, the prospect of playing before over 100,000 people every Saturday, and the excellent education available here. Football players, in sum, come to Michigan for one reason: themselves. Todd Collins and Tyrone Wheatley didn't come here to play football for you, Gary Moeller, or a Michigan alum. They here came to play for their own selfish interests, and we find that perfectly acceptable. We always support rugged individualism. and competition. o FROM OUR READERS But football is a team sport, and good teams have eleven players on each side of the ball worldng as one unit, not eleven individuals. '!be team concept has been ingrained in the core of Michigan football, from the squads of Fielding H. Yost on College Republicans, down to today. In fact, a couple of weeks back, Channel 2's "Ten Years Ago This changed. The College Republicans Week," showed footage ofBo Schembechler giving a rousing speech to his players College Conservatives <.,Femember that the greatest about the concept of team play. It was inspiring to watch. "No man," Bo sternly told conservative leader of our times, his captive audience, "is more important than the team. The team, the team, the To the Editor: President Ronald Wilson Reagan, was team." Recently a satirical article that a Democrat until that party no longer This is where the fans come in. It is their primary responsibility to assist the appeared in the Michigan Review represented his views. Reagan did not coaching staff in transforming egotistical, self-<:entered high school stars into referred to the University of Michigan change, the Democrats and the team-4lriented cogs in the Michigan wheel. '!be transformation is made easier not College Republicans in an unfavorable Republicans changed. only when fans are jacked up and assist in making life a living hell for the light. As the President of the College The College Republicans have a opposition, but when the players, via fan support, come to believe that "playing for Republicans, I would like to speak to host of programs designed to spread the team" is something more than just a cliche. the concerns expressed by the author of the conservative message throughout And this·is where our fans have repeatedly failed our team. that article, who by the way has never our campus. Expect us to maintain a Not at Notre Dame. Back in South Bend, pep rallies for the team draw even attended a CR meeting or read our high profile this yelJr as we fight for the thousands of people. Dinky Notre Dame Stadium produces so much noise that newsletter. three things worth dying for - God, . opposing teams have to use hand signals to communicate. The alumni cheer so The College Republicans are Country, and Family. Expect us. tobe much they lose their voices. Every student, from the geekiest math whiz to the fighters, pure and simple. We look vocal about moral absolutes and lower coolest communications major, goes to the game, rain or shine. around the campus with fear and taxes. Expect us to be heard abo\lt the The post-game scene in Michigan Stadium a few weeks ago was even more disapproval at the liberalism which greatness of America.· telling about the Notre Dame spirit. After the obligatory hand-shaking between infects the thought in Ann Arbor. We We would encourage those the two teams, all of the Irish players ran over to their student section in the south have dedicated ourselves to awakening interested in promoting traditional end zone, put their helmets up in the air, and saluted the crowd for their support. the campus to the values and truths Republican principles to participate in The ND fans cheered them in mutual recognition At the other end of the stadium, that have made America great, and to the College Republicans this year. in the northwest corner, the marching band was busy playing "Notre Dame Our exposing the liberal agenda that lies Despite our expected unpop:ularity. Mother," as the small section of fans locked arms, swayed, and sang the words. behind such causes as the gay rights around.Ann ArbQr, we will proceed with Every one of them knew every one of the words. The concept of "team" to these movement and the pro-abortion vigor .toward&our goal of I)l.aking players and these fans was not just a cliche. It was what they believed. movement. We are an aggressive group cons.ervatism an. acceptable option at . Watching these festivities, of course, were the maize and blue faithful, with who is not content to merely wear our. the University of Mkhigan. Wfj hope to dumbfounded looks on their faces, asking themselves the eternal question: "How? Republican label on our jerseys. see all who believe they can help at one How could we lose to them again?" In their rush to condeIiln the team and the In the article of dispute, the College of our weekly meetings or to hear from coach, they had forgotten their own role. Republicans were referred to as "knee­ them at p.o.. Box 4561, Ann Arbor,MI Our alumni sat on their hands. The Irish receivers could easily hear their jerk" supporters of the Republican 48106. quarterback. bark signals in the red zone. Some students didn't even bother to buy party. This assessment could not be Lastly, we thank the Michigan a game ticket, and ifthey did, some left early. None of the Michigan students knew further from the truth. In actuality, Review for the opportunity to set the the words to their alma mater, "The Yellow and Blue." The only interaction most of our members consider record straight about the CRs, and we between our fans and our players was receiver Walter Smith's repeated efforts to themselves independents who feel their encourage continued support of this rile up the crowd by jumping up and down and waving his arms - to no avail, of views are currently well served by the paper, clearly the most respectable course. Republicans. After all, a political party source of information in Ann Arbor. What a waste. We have the greatest band, fight song, stadium, and uniforms should only serve as a translation of of any college football program in the country (yes, our fight song is better than one's views onto the world of John Damoose Notre Dame's)" yet we reacted like a flock ofsloths·on a hot summen's day. . government, and if a part;y changes it's President, ·U-MCollege Republicans 27-23. RemeInber that next game, and next year. lVR ideology, it's reason for being has LSASen~r

.- , "_ ,,, -,> ,.:~,,,,,,,,.,," ""'''''''''''''''''-. '''''-'_'''-'>4',._,.,_, ... ~.,.,,-, ,--.,." .... . __mM" ,.."'J,..;"'~__ >:." .• ,,.,"»>""" ____i • •"'_ ~~~~~~~~~_.... ___ ...... ____ .... September 22, 1998 THE MICHIGAN REVIEW 5 o READER'S RESPONSE Visualizing Conservative Stupidity

BY DAVID AMA.N tative of a fringe view, and without self-interest lies, and thus (1) conflict is ing class, who must overthrow the capi­ regard for the fact that there is a more the inevitable result. (2) World peace is talist class, whose interest in dominat­ HE MICIllGAN REVIEW HAS charitable interpretation of these impossible if there is more than one ing the workers makes their participa­ started the new school year on bumper stickers, McNeill tags a piece Person on the planet. So (3) what the tion in solidarity with them impossible. T the wrong foot '!he foot in ques­ of New Age mysticism as the "essence "liberal" wants is for us 'to vif!Ualize the After the revolution, the state is still tion is the one Review Executive Editor of liberalism." Those of us in philoso­ annihilation of almost 5 billion people." necessary and must be run by the work­ Jay D. McNeill placed in your collective phy call this creating a straw man: It is curious that McNeill does not ing class since they are the only ones mouths with his article, "Visualizing attributing absurd views to an oppo­ consider any ways other than struggle who have yet acheived solidarity. After Collective Stupidity." For a newspaper nent and then attacking him or her on in which we might come to learn what a proper period, the story goes, solidar­ which claims to "represent a reader­ the basis of the views he or she does not is in our true best i,nterest. (He also ity will develop and the state will "wither ship of thoughtful students," and which hold. By his use of this reprehensible I failed to explain how struggle will help away." Thus it is rather odd that seems to pride itself on being able to tactic McNeill reveals his inability or us to learn our self-interest.) We might, McNeill thinks that even a communist criticize other points of view as being unwillingness to confront liberalism perhaps, go to psychoanalysts, hold requires that people act altruistically irrational or illogical, this article is ' itself - otherwise he would have no conciousness raising sessions, or any of in such a stringent sense when their amazingy unreasonable. need to create a straw man. a number of other cooperative ways of theory can easily accomodate the dogma McNeill picks out a bumper sticker McNeill says he will take the "lib­ determining what is really good for us. of psychological hedonism. which says "Visualize World Peace" as eral" (actually New Age mystic) up on More interesting than McNeill's attack McNeill attempts to argue that there representing the "essence of liberal­ his or her challenge. He will visualize on his straw liberal is the way he uses is something paradoxical in believing ism" and goes on to criticize liberalism world peace and prove it is impossible. directly his dogma of psychological he­ psychological hedonism false. That is, on that basis. Now I have often He does not do this by some theory donism to attack a different version of he attempts to argue that psychological wondedred what this person was try­ about the inevitability of violence in liberalism. hedonism must be true because there is ing to express. Because of the time I human affairs. Instead he turns to a According to McNeill, liberalism and something paradoxical in believing that first started noticing them, I figured dictionary for a definition of "peace". socialism both depend on people acting people act altruistically. This belief, this was merely Ill) expression of some Webster's, says McNeill, defines "peace" altruistically in a very strong sense. McNeill charges, is held because it is in New Age wishful thinking - that if as "freedom from disagreement or quar­ According to him, liberalism demands the liberal's own best interest. This, enough people merely imagined a world rels." McNeill is almost certainly cor­ that people act in the interests of oth­ McNeill charges, is an inconsistency. at peace/it would really happen. rect when he says that it is impossible ers, and do so not because it in some In this argument, McNeill has done This mysticism is rather different that everyone in the world come to way advances their own interest. This I what we philosophers call "begging the from liberalism. Indeed, I have no doubt agreement on everything. Even if it is, of course, a straightforward v:!ol~,' t question." He has proved the truth of that there are as many liberals who are were possible, no liberal would want tion of his dogma, and thus libeialism I psychological hedonism by showing that embarrassed by New Age mysticism as such a world as they tend to believe must be a flawed position. its falsehood requires what he thinks is there are conservatives who are em­ that pluralism and diversity are sig­ Unfortunately for McNeill, there are I an absurdity. He did so by appeal to the barrassed by certain so-called "Chris­ nificant sources of value. no liberal positions which demand such ! dogma in question. He was only able to tian fundamentalists." And, although McNeill has used a debater's tactic stringent altruism. Indeed, the promi- I derive what he thought is a contradic­ some may think that prayer is all that here: He called on an authority nent liberal theorist, John Rawls, rec- I tion by assuming that his dogma was is necessary to bring about heaven on (Webster's) to define the term (peace) ognized that people acted in their own . true, otherwise he would have no ground earth, most conservatives realize the in such a way that what his opponent private interest. He proposed that a for saying that the liberal believes he need for action of some sort to bring was arguing for seems absurd. This liberal state should set up which har­ acts altruistically because such a belief about their desired ends. In the same tactic is often effective in debate be­ nessed this greed and made it work for is in his own self interest. way, although some liberals may think cause it makes the opponent seem to be the benefit of the less well off. In a There is no inconsistency: A liberal that all they have to do is visualize backing off when they attempt to ex­ Rawlsian liberal state, the greedy indi­ could sometimes act altruistically, but intensely, moat liberals realize the need plain what they really meant. On the vidual inevitably helps others by help­ believe that he acts altruistically be­ for actions. as the bumper sticker "Pray other hand, defining terms in a way ing himself One could hardly say that cause it is in his own self interest to do for Peace" really that different from other than they were intended is a very he demands such a strict altruism when so. Just because some acts or beliefs are "Visualize World Peace"?) bad tactic when one's intent is not to he specifically set his theory up to make held for self-serving reasons does not There is, however, another way to win a debate, but to establish the truth. use of the fact that people act in their mean that all of them are. To say that interpret these bumper stickers. This Like the creation of a straw man, such own private interest. there is an inconsistency here is to interpretation is, perhaps, spmewhat definitions put words into the mouths For that matter, communism can be generalize from the fact that at least less likely, but certainly makes more of one's opponents and permits one to interpreted as working within this sys­ one belief is held self-interestedly to sense. They could be asking people to avoid confronting their position. tem. In the communist ideal, everyone the statement that all acts are self­ visualize world peace in the same way '!he majority of the remainder of the willlulve solidarity, which can be trans­ interested. that divers visualize the perfect dive article is McNeill attacking his straw lated into McNeill's framework as a McNeill's essay is a remrkable piece before performing. The visualization liberal. Now) after going to such le.ngths situation where the good of the whole is of work. He manages to fit in examples process can focus on what has to be to misconstrue the liberal position that inextricably linked to the individual's ofa straw man, of the attribution, of the done in order to acheive the desired it is easy to refute, it is surprising that good. When the state suffers, or any inappropriate definitions, of begging end. In this way, visualizing can actu­ McNeill needs to call in yet amother member in it suffers, the good commu­ the question, and of fallacies of hasty ally be fl useful prelude to action, and a dogma to attack it. nists feel that suffering as their own. generalization and still leave room for useful reminder why one acts. (I have McNeill declares the dogma ofpsy­ '!hey thus act in their own best interest a quarter page advertisement Ifl were no doubt a similar thing can be said chological hedonism: "every action by dedicating their lives to promoting teaching a.class in logic, I would be glad about "Pray for Peace" since "God helps taken by a human is the result of an the lot of all within the state. The good to have such an excellent bad example; those who help themselves.) innate desire to improve one's lot in socialist (and many liberals today) may, ifl were his editor, I would be embar­ Without regard for the fact that any­ life." [See below for a comment on the ifMcNeill's dogma is correct, help them­ rassed. one who thinks peace will come about one point where McNeill attempts to selves by helping others -but they still merely by visualization is a represen- defend this dogma.] McNeill then, also help others whatever their reasons. dogmatically (without support), de­ The communists also recognized that David Aman is a graduate student in clares that we must struggle against this solidarity is not immediately the U-M department ofphilo8ophy. eacll other to determine where our true acheivable. It starts within the, work-

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BY ToNY GHECEA athletics, not academics, come first. more about sports than smarts goes puts academics first. What Peoples' re­ Now before you football fans tune beyond the annoyance of getting stuck action and subsequent admission to ERE IT THE OTHER WAY out and turn elsewhere, stop and listen in a Thursday afternoon traffic jam. It Michigan says about U-M, however, is armmd, people would call it a for a minute. I enjoy football, for that has to do with our school's sports pro­ not nearly so kind. Wfarce. matter sports in general, as much as gram itself, as well as the air that It says that we will accept the play­ Imagine cancelling the University of anyone else. For years I've bemoaned surrounds it. ers who fall below the academic stan­ Michigan's next football game because the fact that our football team has had I couldn't help but chuckle the other dards of other schools. And don't kid of exams. Imagine telling 106,000 fans to face Notre Dame without having day ata story about the U-M football yourself into thinking we do it for hu­ that they must skip work to attend the , played a practice game beforehand. De­ team's starting safety, Shonte Peoples. manitarian reasons. Like other schools, game, which the school has moved from spite the fact that we still we want good players; we Saturday to Thursday afternoon. lost our game against the really don't care if they're ~ i: Crazy, you say? Not so. Because that's Irish, I liked, and still like, good students or not. exactly what this school would have to the effort the U-M made to It also says that we've do if it turned the tables, and gave ready our team. given athletes a false im­ academics what they rightly deserve: What I don't like is the pression of what it takes to priority over athletics. way they did it. If resched­ get into college - in U-M It sounds unrealistic, of course. And uling the team's first game or Notre Dame's case, a to a large extent it is. We don't have meant inconveniencing good college. That a player exams on Saturdays. And even if we 35,000 students, forcing like Peoples should hold a did, the U-M sports department would their parents to miss a day "vendetta" against a coach hold sway in any scheduling conflict. of work, and locking up Ann I ~::-~-:' for making him measure When U-M's administration juggled Arbor's streets for two days . up to an academic stan­ new student move-in to soften the traf­ in the middle of a work- dard. - a low one at that - Class? Well sure, I have class. My 'pa says rve got good breeding, too. fic crunch created by our first home week, the administration sh{)ws just how low the football game, it proved what most of us should have ~swered the team's re­ He apparently held a grudge against value of education has sunk., especially know, but few will admit: At U-M, scheduling request with a regretful but Notre Dame which he planned to use as in the eyes of athletes. rigid "no." That it didn't speaks vol­ motivation when he played their team. There is, or should be, more to col- Tony Ghecea is a senior in English and umes about what matters at U-M. "I wanted to go to Notre Dame," he said. lege athletics than playing a sport. Only editor--at-large of the Review. The indictment that the U-M cares I "But somp,thing happened after my jun- ~alfthe phrase, "college athletics," has ior year [in high school], and the.y 1"""anything to do with sports. The other stopped recruiting me." half refers to going to school. Yet we What "happened" was that Peoples I reward our athletes for not making the scored a 17.25 on the American College classroom grade. We give them full Test (ACT). According to the National I scholarships to one of the best public College Athletic Association's (NCAA) schools in the country, not because Proposition 48, high school athletes they're academically gifted, but because EVER ;rEI must score at least an 18 on the test to they know how to play. Think you missed the Graduate Record Exam deadline ) Think agai n. With be eligible to playas freshmen in col- Picture a student who graduated at the new on·demand GRE~ you could be taking the test tomorrow. And see lege. (By comparison, the median ACT the top of his high school class and .your score the Instant you finish . Score reports are mailed 10 to 15 days score for U-M freshman students is a received a full academic scholarship to latcr. in plenty of rime for most schools' dead li nes. Call now for instam 27). As a result, Peoples held a "per- U-M. Now imagine him, by virtue of registration. @ Educational Testing Service sonal vendetta" against Notre Dame his academic achievement, receiving a football coach Lou Holtz, who, accord- spot on the U-M football team. His • Sylvan Technology Centers® ing to Peoples, "said he wouldn't re- qualifications? Well, he's held a foot- Part 0{ tit. Sy/7XlN Lro,.j"l Cn.ltr Nmoor' cruit any more Prop 48s." ball before, and thrown it around a few The article - part of a collection of times, but he's not absolutely sure what interesting side-notes meant to hype to do with it. l-S00-GRE-A.SA.P the upcoming game - neglected to com- Sound ludicrous? Well it is. Giving a ment on Peoples' complaint. Instead it spot on a nationally-ranked football went on to discuss the controversy sur- team to someone who barely knows rounding a new book on Notre Dame, how to play football would make us the called Under the Tarnished Dome, laughingstock of college sports - and which accuses coach Holtz of commit- rightly so. Yet that is exactly what we ting numerous rules violations. do in academics when we give full schol- l paused to consider what I had read. arships to athletes whose academic ere- Much as I disliked Notre Dame, and dentials alone would never get them much as I thought there might be some into U-M. Speak your mind. Tell us you love us. Tell us truth to the book's allegations, I had to Four years of decent high school stud- admit, the school has always run a good ies should earn you a college education. we're a bunch of hateful right-wingers. Bash a football program. Peoples is an excel- Four years of respectable high school liberal. Bash a conservative. Bash Bill Clinton. lent player; for Holtz to turn him down sports should earn you a spot on a Suggest an idea. Bemoan an opinion. Debate an must have been difficult. But Holtz was college team. Neither one alone should true to his word: If Peoples couldn't entitle you to anything more. Yet at issue. Enlighten us. Inform us. Complain about make the cut academically, he wouldn't Michigan, indeed at most schools, four campus politics. Make us laugh. Make us cry. Dial make the cut on the field. And he didn't. years ofhigh school sports, absent rea- in. Sign on. Hang out. MRlN:FORUM. . What that decision says about NOtre sonable high school studies, will earn ~e football is ~t, de~ite its other See GET REAl, page 9 possible shortcoDllllg8, It apparently

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BY JAMES ELEK AND BRIAN ScHEFKE proaches to higher education that char­ non-sampling error reduction, and cog­ acterize the University of Michigan to­ nitive psychological approaches Ul sur­ N ITS JUNE MISSION, THE day. We are enthusiastic about the vey management. space shuttle Endeavour penormed approach and excited about the future Groves and two U-M staff mem­ I a University of Michigan experi­ possibilities:" bers will relocate to College Park. The ment. Its purpose was to learn more In order to be located near the fed- teaching method of the course will be about what happens when liquids boil eral employees unique through the use of a two-way in a zero-gravity environment. who are expected audio-video connection between Ann According to Herman Merte, pro­ to enroll in the pro­ Arbor and College Park. 'Ibis will allow fessor of mechanical engineering at the gram, it will be ISR staff to teach in the joint program, ;'.... - U-M, the objective was to Wlderstand headquartered at as well as allow students in Ann Arbor the basic mechanisms that control what the University of Ul enroll and receive instruction from is known as the nucleate pool boiling Maryland's Col­ courses conducted in College Park. process, an everyday process that can lege Park campus. "This compressed video equipment be observed by boiling water on a stove. The two areas of uses high speed telephone lines to offer Merte points out that scientists do not concentration full conversational functions between completely Wlderstand the process, available are sta­ the two sites," explained Groves. With because gravity influences bubble for­ tistical science and this system, the insturctor can actually mation and growth in boiling liquids. social science. be in two places at once. Added Groves, The experiment consisted of record­ The statistical "The instructor will teach students in ing images and data from two quarts of science area will fo­ Ann Arbor and College Park simulta­ Rr-113 (a type of Freon) as it boils using Jason Asatta cus on sample de- neously, allowing us Ul share resources cameras and temperature sensors. sign, estimation in and offer more advanced courses on The 175 pOWld self-contained ap­ complex samples, variance estimation both campuses as a result. The instruc­ paratus was tucked inside a garbage statistical measurement error models, tor can see and hear students at the can-eized canister in the payload of the and statistical adjustments for missing remote site throughout the class, field shuttle. The astronauts activated it as data. While the social science area will questions from the remote site, and they slept so that vibrations from their focus on questionnaire design, models have class discussion between the two movement inside the shuttle would not of data collection, survey management, sites." m -. distort the boiling process. "NASA is interested in results from this experiment, because boiling liq­ uids generate bubbles which are very efficient at transferring large amoWlts of heat," Merte explained. "Finding new ways to dissipate heat from the space shuttle or future manned space platforms will be vital to the success of long-term missions." There are other potential benefits that are closer to home. These include more effective air conditioning and re­ frigeration systems, as well as improve­ ments in power plants that could re­ duce the cost of generating electricity.

The COWltry'S first master of sci­ ence degree in survey methodology will be offered this fall through a joint pro­ gram with the U-M, the University of Maryland at College Park., and Westat, Inc., a Rockville, MD, survey firm. Maryland will award the degree. "Federal agencies spend billions of dollars on surveys that are vital to setting and administering government policy," explains Robert M. Groves, as­ sociate director of the new joint pro­ gram and a research scientist at the U­ M Iustitute for Social Research. "Yet, many of the professionals conducting > James Elek is a senior in physics and MTS coordiootor of the Review. Brian Schefle is a senior in ceUular and mo­ (313) 663·3101 lecular biology and a contributing edi­ Arbor, MI48106 tor of the Review.

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> ~, Life~

BY GENE KRASS to cover the entire journey from my dorm in the world, Bursley Hall, the of students enrolled at the University distant home-away-from-home to that only true residence hall in the area of Michigan hovering around 35,000, "H OW LONG WILL YOU BE Mecca of activity, Central Campus. For known as North Campus). those in the School ofEngineeringnum­ in the office?" I asked my you see, only a few souls have heard of This "other" campus that people ber, oh, about fourteen or fifteen. Some­ Physics TA this place; even fewer actually call it visit as rarely as possible actually con­ times, though, I get the impression "Not very long," he answered hur­ "home." Some might have chanced to tains most, ifnot all, of the University that I am the only non-engineer on riedly. "What time can you come over?" visit it, as one of the options during of Michigan's Engineering, Art, and North campus, given the apparent lack ''I'll be there right away," I re­ freshman orientation is a bus tour which Music courses, as well as some famed of fellow undecided LSA students at sponded, forgetting to think before I hastily covers this mysterious span of secret military research which I would Bursley. spoke. It takes at least twenty minutes land. Of those who have heard of it, rather not discuss (for fear of being In fact, I often fmd myself being hardly anyone remembers, or even killed by a couple of thugs in dark asked such friendly and welcoming Gene Krass is a sophomore in LSA and learned, the names of any of its build­ glasses and trenchcoats). questions as, "What are you doing a sta/fwriter for the Review. He spent ings or residence halls (in reality, make Bursley Hall is home to many an here?", when I tell people I'm not in the over 250 hours riding the bus last year. that hall - the supposed third-largest engineering student. With the number Engineering School. Sometimes I envi­ sion a secret engineering society doing its, uh, engineering stuff, bent on the violent elimination of those who aren't required to complete the Math 115- 116-215-216 sequence. They knew what they got themselves into, I thought RESERVE OFFICERS' TRAINING COR P S as I prayed to the ancient Greek god of transportation at the sacred bus stop, waiting for the chariot to arrive. While waiting for the bus I recalled being awakened the night before by the usual screaming from the Baits Houses, buildings situated next to Bursley Hall which contain primarily upperclass- ...men. A popular pastime of the Baits residents seems to be sticking their heads out of their windows at around 1 rI AM, taking a deep breath, and scream· ing as loud as the forces of nature allow until they run out of air. 'This is always followed up by an equally noisome and eloquent, "SHUT UP OR I'LL KILL YOU!!" from tired Bursley residents. UnfoItunatley, five or ten minutes later, the sequence continues: "AAAAA!!", "SHUT UP OR YOU'RE DEAD!!" And so on. I decided that the people living in one of the most desolate parts of cam­ pus need such a pastime, as I fmally IREREOUISITE: ADRENALINE spotted an approaching bus. This bus, Dnve. Intensity. Those aren't words ter, self-confidence and decision-making of course, turn.ed out to be out of ser­ you're likely to see in many course skills. Again, words other courses sel- vice, as the large yellow sign on the requirements. Then again, Army RarC dom use. But they're the credits you front so proudly declared. The driver [s unlike any other elective. It's need to succeed in life., ROTC is didn't notice the vulgar gestures I made hands-on excitement ROTC will l eA ~ I open to freshmen and sophomores in his direction, but so what ifhe did? challenge you mentally and phys- without obligation and requires What could he do? It's not as if a driver [cally through intense leadership about 4 hours per week. Register of a bus could actually pull the bus to a training. Training that builds charac- tXCfH ~iiU this term for Army ROTC. halt at a designated stop, pick up some passengers in a hurry, and drive them to where they need to go. How dare I ARMY ROTC expect such a thing from the transpor­ TIE SMARTEST COLLEGE COURSE YOU CAN TAlE. tation system which is supported by a hefty part of my $21,000 out-of-state For details, visit Room 131, North Hall or call tuition? How absurd! 764·2400 "Anyone have to go to Northwood Five?" asked the driver of the bus that finally stopped to pick me up. Northwood Family Housing One through Five is home to those coura­ geous enough to raise children while

See BUS, page 9

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"~ Continued from page 6 • 1;1'" Continued from page 8 you a college education as well. gan education, let alone a scholarship to iesinfavoroffindingafutureinarthrough attending school..Ai! a reward for this That degrades the achievements of get it for free. sports which often doesn't exist. When difficult feat, Northwood Five was studentB who work bard to getinto schools The "hardship" argument - that ath- reality hits - when they can't handle placed so far away from the rest of like U-M. Schools send scouts all over the letics give underprivileged kids a shot at college, can't get a degree, and can't get North Campus that even the bus driv- country to seek. out gifted athletes; gifted an education which they would otherwise in to the pros - they are left with nothing ers are reluctant to venture there. students, for the most part, must contact lack - proves unconvincing. What high but trophies and memories. It's no won- Luckily for me, no one answered in schools themselves. In the end, the vast school doesn't give athletes in terms of an der professional athletes star in commer- the affirmative, and the bus contin- majority of students must struggle to education, sports cannot provide. Ath- cials warning kids to "Stay in Schoo!." ued on its merry way to Central secure the right to pay for wlult we give letes who neglect high school studies for And where is the U-M in all this? Twenty minutes and several de- athlete&forfree: a college education which sporta deprive themselves ofthe prepara- Doing exactly what nearly every college tours later, thejourney was only half- the students have earned, but which the tion they need for college and a future in America is doing today encouraging complete, as the bus I boarded cir- athletes may well have not. careeroutsideofsports. Whattennis great high school athletes to neglect theiredu- cumvented the whole of North Cam- None of this is to suggest that all Arthur Ashe wrote to the parents ofblack cation, and demeaning college academics pus rather than just the immediate athletes fall short of academic par. Many students speaks equally well to the par- and students in the process. vicinity of Bursley Hall. My physics U-M athletic standouts, from future doc- ents of all high-school athletes: It is every school's job to put academics labs were due about fifteen minutes tor Chris Hutchinson to future lawyer "While we are 60 percent of the Na- first. The U-M has chosen to do other- before, but thankfully my benevolent Rob Pelinka. have shown themselves ca- tional Basketball Association, we are wise. Instead of reforming athletics and TA said I could drop them offanytime pable ofbeingjust as bright in class as in less than 4 percent of doctors and restoring academics to the prominent post before the physics TA office closed. I the game. Even Rumeal Robinson, a lawyers. While we are about 35 per- they deserve, the U-M, in sports great cursedthebusdriverundermybreath, former Prop 48, eventually earned his centofmajorleaguebaseball, weare Howard CoseIl's assessment, has as well as the Ann Arbor traffic lights. degree from U-M. less than 2 percent of engineers." "abdicat[edJ" its role as the athletic which were seemingly stuck on red Nor is it to suggest that students with These stats would be fine ifeveryone who department's "overseer," leaving the Of course, my complaints did not im- less-than-spark1ing records should be neglected high school studies for sports s}>Qrtsprogram to its own devices. We pay prove the situation, and the bus con- denied the chance to improve. Just as could make it to the professional leagues. unprepared athletes to go to school, and tinued along at its usual speed. teams give spots to remotely promising But they can't. According to Leonard don't care ifthey graduate or not, 80 long Land hoI The bus finallyanived walk-ons, schools should give borderline Haynes of the U. S. Department ofEduca- as they win the game. This has to stop. at the C. C. Little stop. Being the student-athletes with potential the ben- tion, only one in every ten thousand high Putting sports ahead of smarts is just polite gentleman that I am, I actually efit of the doubt. school athletes ever gets to the pros. plain stupid. A university is first a school, let people exit in front of me, for I was But let's getreal,folks. Not every walk- Asking kids to put their hopes in sports and only second a team. What schools in no mood to push, piledrive, or air- on deserves to play for Michigan. And not as a vehicle for getting into college is a like U-M must do is get that concept plane--spin my way my way off like every student-athlete deserves a Michi- crime; it leads them to neglect their stud- straight Mt .""~' ~'evel)lOne else. As I disembarke4" 1 noticed a friend walking toward me stop. He probably,still thinks I'm an impolite jerk for not waving back. but Conference I was in a hurry. My legs quickly Continued from page 1 carried me to the Denison Building. "Oh. sure. you'll be here right The Michigan Conservative Confer­ Ron Robinson. national president of ment Subcommittee. away. Thanks for wasting my time, ence will host students not only from U­ the Young America's Foundation, issched· Stephen Dresch has held a Republi­ you undergrad loser," the look on my M, rut also from Hillsdale College, Wayne uled to speak at the conference on Sep­ can seat in the Michigan House.-ofRepre­ TA's face seemed to be saying as I State University, Eastern Michigan Uni­ tember 30. Founded to educate young sentatives. Having earned his Ph.D. in entered the room. 1 felt guilty, prob­ versity. Michigan State University, and people on the American government and economics from Yale University, Dresch ably having kept him from some of Northwood University. Michigan Con­ political system, Young America's Foun­ has worked for the National Bureau of that secret military research in which gressional representatives haw.al$O been dation has become one of the premiere Economic Studies, the International in­ graduate students sometimes indulge. invited, as well as public p«.ili.cy fIgures public policy organizations for young stitute for Applied Systems Analysis, and Oh well, as long as the labs were from Accuracy in AcadEXmia adults in the country. The foundation the Institute for Demographic and Eco­ turned in. Next, however. 1 had to On Wednesday, September 29, the hosts an annual conference in Washing­ nomic Studies. He has also served as a face the journey back. conference will feature Samuel T. Francis, ton, D.C., organizes an extensive speak­ professor of economics and business at The whole excursion lasted about a nationally-syndicated columnist, who ers tour, and distributes educational re­ Michigan Technological University. seventy minutes, which was longer > has been recognized twice by the Ameri­ sources to its members. Young America's where he also served as the dean of the than it would have taken me to crawl can Society of Newspaper Editors for his Foundation has played an important role School of Business and Engineering Ad­ to my TA's office. outstanding writing and! commentary. in the upcoming Michigan Conservative ministration. Stephen Dresch currently How did 1 wind up living on North Having once served The Washington Conference by providing much ofthe nec­ works as a free-lance political commen­ Campus and having to face this tor­ Times as Deputy Editorial Page Editor, essary funding. Robinson will address tator. The subject of the debate between ture? Let's just say it had something he is now a Contributing; Editor to studen ts' rights offree speech on campus. Dresch and Dannemyerwill be America's to do with the fact that my housing Chronicles as well as a Featured Colum­ On October 1 the conference will fea­ religious heritage. application was mailed to me after nist in Conservative Chronicle. In addi­ ture a debate between William i By hosting the conference, organiz­ most applicants had already signed tion. Francis has workedfor.tb.e Heritage Dannemyer and Stephen P. Dresch. A ers hope to add to the movement against their leases. Why in the world did I Foundation, one of America's leading Korean War veteran and former practic­ classroom indoctrination on college cam­ return to live on North Campus as a public policy institutes. The columnist is ing attorney, Dannemyer is a former Re­ puses. "I am optimistic that we will take sophomore? Don't ask. What sticks a bold and articulate defender of Ameri­ publican member of the U. S. House of a step forward in our quest to reestablish out most in my mind relating to my can culture and heritage. During his Representatives. During his fourteen freedom of speech and a traditional lib­ North Campus experience is a brisk • speech at U - M, he plans to discuss the years in the House, he was a strong advo­ era! arts education," said Cali regarding conversation I once had: negative effects ofpolitical correctness on cate of fIscal responsibility and tradi­ conference goals. "Where do you live?" I asked her. academia. Samuel Francis' appearance tional American values. He served on the Students interested in learning more "South Quad. How about you?" is part of the Stranahan American inter­ Budget Committee, the Judiciary Com­ about the Michigan Conservative Con­ "Bursley. on North Campus." ests Lecture Series, established by the mittee, and the Energy and Commerce ference should call 665-8864 for "Oh," she replied. "I'm sorry." United State~ Ind~tri.al 09uncil Educa­ pommittee, and was the ranking minor­ details. Ml. I could not have made that reply tional Foundation. itymember of the Health and Environ- up if I "~~~Ml. ' "

------"~--- 10 THE MICI-nGAN REVIEW September 22, 1993 o BOOK REVIEW Big Government, Big Money, Big Lies

BY AARoN STEELMAN posed crises, has been falsely manufac­ proaching us as we foolishly utilize the we may have," he once said. "Each of us tured so that the public will think that technology that reason and rational has to decide what the right balance is "8 INCE 1985, SENATORS, government action is not only a good thought has brought us. At the root of between being effective and being hon­ unlike house members, have idea but indeed a necessary solution. the radical environmental movement est." been required to disclose pub-. Bennett and DiLorenzo prove this to be is not only an anti-technology bias With the recent change in the prop­ licly the annual costs of their mailings. patilntly false. which would have people living in a erty tax, a ho.t topic of discussion in the There are nominal cost limits, based on One of the more popular notions hunting and gathering system again, statil of Michigan is government fund­ state population but once again, the spouUld by modern liberals is that gov­ but a deep rooUld hatred for man and ing of education and school choice. loopholes are wider than 'Senator ernment spending on social programs his ability to think. Bennett and DiLorenzo take a look at Howell Heflin (D-Ala.)." Humor may was completely gutted during the heart­ An example of this mentality is the the socialized sysUlm of American pub­ less Reagan years. 'This is absurd. statilment by David M. Graber of the lic education as it currently exists and Officla' Ues - How Reagan did little to curb the growth of National Park Service, as recorded by see, as many of us do, a failed system. government, with welfare spending in­ Bennett and DiLorenzo: "Human hap­ To solve the problem, theyadvocatil the Washingon Misleads Us creasing in real dollars from $156.6 piness, and certainly human fecundity, system of tax vouchers first proposed James T. Bennett and Thomas billion in 1980 to $184.2 in 1988. In are not as important as a wild and by Milton Friedman in the early 1960s. J. Dilorenzo fact, Bennett and DiLorenzo point out healthy planet. I know social scientists They have examined the National that "[b]y 1988, government at all lev­ who remind me that people are part of Education Association (NEA) and the Groom Books els spent enough on poverty programs nature, but it isn't true," Graber said. politicians who are slavishly devoted to Hardcover, 320 pages alone (excluding Social ,..------, the organization, and they have discov­ $19.95 Security) to give $5,790 ered blatant hypocrisy: "Ironically, to every man, woman and many of the groups that scream 'Choice!' not be one of James T. Bennett's and child below the poverty when the issue is the right of women to Thomas J. DiLorenzo's stronger points, threshold. That adds up receive abortion counseling or an abor­ but their book, Official Lies, is better to $23,160 for every fam­ tion are knee-jerk foes of measures than their jokes. ily of four - or nearly I I that would allow that same woman the With AI Gore's new project, twice the poverty thresh­ freedom to choose which schools her reinventing government, there has been old of income." Yet dur­ children will attend," they writil. "At much talk latilly about the inefficient ing the same period of the July 1991 convention of the NEA, bureaucracy that is the Unitild States 1980 to 1988 the Census "the union endorsed one resolution sup­ federal government. The fact that the Bureau claims the num­ porting government funding of abor­ state has been spiraling in this direc­ ber of "poor" people was tion and another resolution instructing tion for the better part of this century reduced only from 33.3 members to 'work for the defeat' of seems to have been ignored by Mr. million to 31.9 million. tuition tax credits or school-voucher (iQre. Yet; by observing the size and These seemingly con­ plans," they point out. "The NEA, it scope of the federal bureaucracy today, tradictory numbers oc­ seems, supports 'choice' not as a matter one is led to the undeniable conclusion curred, according to the of principle but as a simple expedient; that Washington has creaUld a systilm authors, because govern­ The Federal Tax Code, Sir. the minute 'choice' threatens the public that builds upon itself at a seemingly ment bureaucrats needed school monopoly, out the window it exponential rate. to justify their existence goes." This outrageous growth in govern­ by creating the appearance of a larger "We have become a plague upon our­ Something as important as educa­ ment, or more specifically the actions number of "poor" people. 'Ibis was done selves and upon the Earth," he contin­ tion should not be politicized. Unfortu­ taken by bureaucrats to fuel this ex­ by changing the definition of poverty, ued. "Unti.lsuch time as Homo sapiens natilly, the issue of education has been pansion, is the focus of Official Lies. thus effectively creating more "poor" should decide to join nature, some ofus used by variousle.ftist groups and poli­ From farm subsidies to drug policy, people and furthering the careers of can only hope for the right virus to rome ticians in order to gain political lever­ Bennett and DiLorenzo spare no lifetime politicians, who claim to be along." Official Lies questions whether age. While we have witnessed the col­ bloated agency from attack. looking out for the interests of the less this is the type of drivel Americans are lapse of the Soviet Empire, we are still Of interest to all who value liberty fortunatil. paying a public employee to espouse. trying to copy the socialists' sysUlm of is the obscene way in which the federal Another costly example of a manu­ The autho~ believe it shouldn't be, yet education. Unless we initate some com­ government has grown in response to factured crisis covered in Official Lies it has becOme accepUld in the face of a petition into the educational market the supposed "poverty crisis" America is the scare of apocalyptic environmen­ purportedly impending disastilr. we will continue to get the same' sad faces. Poverty, like most other sup­ tal problems that are supposedly ap- When one hears about a new envi­ results, with the poor taking the hard­ i i ronmental regulation that would possi- . est hit. Politicians who would rather Wanted: bly cost millions of dollars in profits, keep their job than help millions of Legislative and thousands ofjobs, it would be wise, children should be treatild in the same Interns for to.question the source that the govern­ way as someone who does their job internship available, ment has decided to listiln to when poorly in the pri~til sector - they Lansing office of contemplating the bill's costs and ben­ should be tennirtated. GOP State efits. Oftentimes suggestions for such Those who realize that government GOP State Representative. legislation comes from a voice similar is not the solution to people's problems to that of S1'ilven Schneider of the Na­ have been largely ineffective in curbing Representative. Unpaid, tiona! Center for Atmospheric Research. statil growth, and would be well served Unpaid, "We have to offer up scary scenarios, to find out more about the tools Wash­ credit avaiJable. make simplified, dramatic statilments, ington uses to promulgatil its expan­ Credit Available. and make little mention of the doubts sion. While at times a bit cursory and Call Jim at unfortunatilly flippant, Official Lies Call 517-373-0843 517-373-1766 Aaron Steelman is a sophomore in eco­ would be a valuable source in finding nomics and Publisher of the Review. such information. m

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BY SYLAS KOE choke. Fortunately, The Impatients rise At their recent record release show above with their EP First. at the Blind Pig, The Impatients did EW YORK BASED VERSUS Casio-land, are raw and gripping. What sets The Impatients apart "let loose" a little bit, and the show combines indie-rock guitar from other bands is vocalist/guitarist never dulled, but all in all the tunes on N with pop melodies on the debut Doug Way's skill for melody over the First could use a little more power. Remora release, Let's Electrify! On the more disappointing side of very poppy music. Pop bands are hard to come by in a Electrify! consists of six songs that music, The Muffs play Ramones-like scene of white-boy funk bands and range from the disonant distortion of pop-core on the debut track "Lucky the opening track, "Silver Vein," to the ! Guy". While the music sounds promis­ "Winter" shows The Impatients' ultra-pop, sing-along vocals of "Sea ing with driv- ability to write catchy tunes, complete Girl" ing riffs and with harmonies and girl-orientened Although the EP is continually floating vocals, Muffs lyrics, while "In Logic" and "You Didn't memorable, due to the jangly chords it starts to The Muffs Love Me Anyway" continue the sing­ and laid-back melodies of Richard become Warner Borthers along choruses. Baluyut, the ,..--______-, repititive after "Fake ill," recorded during WCBN's highlight of the Lefs Electrify! a while. "Studio Live," is the only tune that is album is bass­ Guitarist/vocalist/songwriter Kim simply too poppy, and shows that, while The Impatients ist Fontaine Versus Shattuck's churchy melodies just get The Impatients have the vocals, they Toups' vocals Remora Records old after awhile, and her need to let out lack in the 'Jam" category. Of course, over-€motional hard-core bands. On a on the dy- ,'------' a she--bitch screech everytime she can't they didn't have the cash to blow on national level, for example, Material namio-masterpiece, 'That Girl's Gone." hit a note gets even older. recording the Issue's second album sucked as bad as Versus has a knack for simplistic, I would write more about the Muffs, album, but the First The Pursuit of Happiness' recent al­ understated verse that gives way to the but after the first few songs bored me, drums need to The 1m patients bum. climactic chorus with a slight taste for loosen up, the The Impatients have mastered the I skipped up to the 12th track, an Angry Jewelweed lyrical cheese epitomized by 'That Girl's Samoans cover, to find out that that guitars need to vocals of pop music on some of the tunes Gone." pretty much sucked too. get louder, and on First, setting them apart from most "My boyfriends got a girlfriend now, the riffs need some dynamics. of the bands in the local section. Now I hope she gets hit by a car." t!1ey have to master the music. Mt Some silly lyrics aside, Versus is a '1'hp f'ranes continue the band that is definitely worth searching pleasanltly eerie, schizo-child vocals of for, so look for their debut in Schoolkids Alison Shaw and begin to expand upon Records or other independent record the music on their second RCA release, stores. Forever. Madder Rose On the title track and a few other BY CHRIS PETERS Young's noisy Crazy Horse, you'd get songs, there is something close to Madder Rose. Or if, Well, now that we know that fonner acoustic guitar Forever WO AND A HALF YEARS Sonic Youth penned a few tunes with Pixies: vocal!guiUu' hero Frank Black instead of the Cranes ago, Billy Cote found hlmselfin Gram Parson. Lorsan's melodies are wants to make aIUlpying and fruity usual, indus­ rooted in classic country/folk, while the RCA T one more New York band lost in music reminiscent of Big Audio Dyna­ trial-like gui­ the shuffle. He had written a bunch of arrangements are pleasantly poppy and mite, t4e'pixies f~ of~~I~qrldJllllst tar qf the tunes that he felt deserved to be heard, often driven by perfectly articulate look t,o, The I . Cranes'first RCA release, Wings of but could't get a break. Then one night drones offeedback. The Crazy Breed~:r,s. for La$t SpJ~sh . Joy. ":Far Away" shows the appealing < ". ,<,', I at a party, the songwriter and huge Lou Horse influence shines on Bring It Down quality, m.~sic, The B,r~,rs .. and s¥nple one-note-at-a-time piano Reed fan met a in numbers like the and . L list 4AD1ileldra· . behQ1~l~ flightly, inarticulate melody. woman named ballad "While Away" Splasp, deliv- FpNvj:Jr, although slightly differ- Mary Lorsan. and "Lay Down Low" ers, ent from Wings of Joy, is frequently "All of the other which are in the The first single, "Cannonball," is more grating than its predecessors. bands I'd been in Ramones-like, ur- .. the most grinding an,d vocally pleasing Songs like "Cloudless" feature pattern- had male singers, ban punk/pop vein, song 91). the album, but guitariatl vocal- les,s ramblings over the usual Cranes and since my songs . while "WaitiD.g for ist Kim Deal also deUvers o:t;t "I:t;tvisible melodramatic riffs. were melodic, I Engines" and the al­ Man" a gliding, Q~a~~lik~ j~ yomr, ,. ~though Wings of Joy was enjoy- thought I'd try a bum-closing instru­ plete,with violins. ". { I.' r. able,FQrever shows that the Cranes woman singer," ex­ mental "Pocket GuitaristJvocW.stKelley Deal hal;!, may ~ve the Primus syndrome: a neat plains Cote. "A Madder Rose Fulla Medicine" con­ her '~4qt a~ vocals ?:t;lith~!~le~~aJ}~:Y .,nove~r:))~t ,fairly valueless. All in all, woman's voice is jure up thoughts of repetJ.tiv~ "1 Jus~ W~~ ~FAlo~, i Foret;er1 j~xaJright. such a different instrument then a earlyCowboy Junkies. wh4e bassistJv<>e.tW.st .~PI3E!~e Wiggs ~E1 Cranes will play at Industry on man's." Cote invited Lorsan over to The group's new Swim EP features swaps instruments with,~er Jii:l;l J Thurscl.ay"September 23rd for $3. hear his stuff, and that night they two songs from the year's earlier al­ Macpherson on the noisy almost-in- worked through the songs "Swim," bum, the title track, and a cover of strumental "Rot" "Lights Go Down," and "Baby Gets Jonathan Richman's "I Wanna Sleep in The Breeders continue to write di­ With 89X nimrod Kelley Brown High," tunes that appear on Madder Your Arms," and focuses more on dy- • verse songs that are raw and gripping, praising banal crap group The Vudu Rose releases. Earlier this year, the namics and atmosphere, where as the while Frank Black waters down into Hippies as "the big thing" floating band released their debut full-length LP seemed more focused on melody around in the toilet bowl oflocal music, on the Seed label entitled "Bring it craftsmanship. something is definitely wrong. For so~e Down", and are currently on the road Madder Rose performs with The Sylas Koe, ajunior in history, is study­ reason certain local media feel obli­ supporting Swim, a new six song EP. Juliana Hatfield Three at St. Andrew's i718abroad qt the London Sch~l. qf gated to f!Upport local m~c, even when Ifthe som.p.olent Cowboy "unkie~ vo­ Hall on Saturday the 25th. TI~ts ~ Economics this tenn. He is, a·loser. 99% of the bands in the local scene ~list Margo Timmins fronted Niel only $7.50. Mt

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