FATHERS AND SONS IN THE ARAB MIDDLE EAST Also by the author

Yusuf Idris: Changing Visions An Arabian Mosaic A Matter of Fate Arab Women Writers: An Anthology of Short Stories Mothers and Daughters in Arab Women’s Literature: The Family Frontier Fathers and Sons in the Arab Middle East

Dalya Cohen-Mor FATHERS AND SONS IN THE ARAB MIDDLE EAST Co pyright © Dalya Cohen-Mor, 2013. Softcover reprint of the hardcover 1st edition 2013 978-1-137-33519-7 A ll rights reserved. Parts of Chapter 1 and Chapter 2 appeared in my previous work, Mothers and Daughters in Arab Women’s Literature: The Family Frontier. Leiden: Brill, 2011. Copyright © 2011 by Koninklijke Brill NV, Leiden, The Netherlands. All rights reserved. Reprinted by permission of the publisher. First published in 2013 by PALGRAVE MACMILLAN® in the United States— a division of St. Martin’s Press LLC, 175 Fifth Avenue, New York, NY 10010. W here this book is distributed in the UK, Europe and the rest of the world, this is by Palgrave Macmillan, a division of Macmillan Publishers Limited, registered in England, company number 785998, of Houndmills, Basingstoke, Hampshire RG21 6XS. Palgrave Macmillan is the global academic imprint of the above companies and has companies and representatives throughout the world. Palgrave® and Macmillan® are registered trademarks in the United States, the United Kingdom, Europe and other countries. ISBN 978-1-349-46294-0 ISBN 978-1-137-33520-3 (eBook) DOI 10.1057/9781137335203 Librar y of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available from the Library of Congress. A catalogue record of the book is available from the British Library. Design by Newgen Knowledge Works (P) Ltd., Chennai, India. First edition: November 2013 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 For Zivv ,

A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge. Thomas Carlyle This page intentionally left blank Contents

Acknowledgments ix

Chapter 1 Introduction: Why Fathers and Sons? 1 The Legacy of Abraham 1 Conceptual Considerations and Underlying Assumptions 7 Defining Basic Terms 12 Sources, Methods, and Approaches 14 Organization 18 Chapter 2 The Voyage to Manhood: The Elusive Quest 21 Insights into the Making of Men 2 1 Growing Up Male in Arab Families 28 Traditional Patterns 29 Modern Trends 38 Family Dynamics: Mothers and Others 4 0 The Mother-Son Relationship 4 1 The Sibling Relationship 45 The Kin Group 46 Contradictions in Arab Masculinity 47 Chapter 3 Fathers and Sons in Personal Histories 55 Cross-Generational Echoes: Grandfathers, Fathers, Sons 55 Jurji Zaydan’s Autobiographyy 56 Ahmad Amin’s My Lifee 60 Nurturing Fathers: Bonds of Love 66 Mikhail Naimy’s Seventy: A Life Storyy 66 Jabra Ibrahim Jabra’s The First Welll 71 Authoritarian Fathers: Conflicted Ties 77 Edward Said’s Out of Placee 77 Tawfiq al-Hakim’s The Prison of Lifee 83 viii CONTENTS

Abusive Fathers: The Scars of Neglect and Battering 89 Hanna Mina’s Fragments of Memoryy 90 Mohamed Choukri’s For Bread Alonee 93 Absent Fathers: Efforts to Fill the Void 99 Halim Barakat’s “Childhood Memories” 100 Yusuf Idris’s “A Sketch of My Life as a Child” 10 1 Conclusion 104 Chapter 4 Fathers and Sons in Works of Fiction 107 Paterfamilias: ’s Trilogyy 108 The Authoritarian Father: Yusuf Idris’s “The Journey” 111 The Martyr Father: ’s The Saint’s Lampp 116 The Alienated Father: Zakaria Tamer’s “The Family” 118 The Failed Father: Fathy Ghanem’s The Man Who Lost His Shadoww 119 Living Vicariously: Mu’nis al-Razzaz’s “Abu Richard” 122 Child Neglect: Alaa al-Aswany’s The Yacoubian Buildingg 123 Child Sacrifice: Yusuf al-Qa‘id’s War in the Land of Egyptt 125 The Lost Father: Ibrahim al-Koni’s Anubiss 130 Conclusion 133 Chapter 5 Fathers and Sons in Poetry and Politics 139 The Father-Son Nexus 139 The Ethos of Masculinity 1 41 The Child Is Father of the Man 1 44 The Quest for Freedom 148 The Master-Disciple Dialectic 153 The Demigods: Arab Leaders, Rulers, and Despots 160 Conclusion 169 Chapter 6 Conclusion: Embattled Selves and the Dream of Liberation 173 The Trap of Masculinity 1 73 The Rap That Sparked a Revolution 181 The Changing Landscape of Men’s Relation to Men 1 85

Notes 191 Bibliography 213 Permissions 223 Index 227 Acknowledgments

While working on this research project, I was fortunate to have received assistance from several sources. First and foremost, I thank Professor Paul Poppen, chair of the Department of Psychology at George Washington University, where I have been a research fellow since 2006, for welcoming me to his department and facilitating my efforts to bring this project to fruition. This work would not have been possible without his continuous interest and support. This study was informed by my stay as a Peace Corps volunteer in Jordan. I lived with a large Bedouin family who treated me as a mem- ber of their household. This gave me a unique opportunity to observe from close quarters their family life and patterns of interaction. My host family was related to one of the biggest families in the village, and I was introduced to many of their relatives, friends, and neigh- bors. During this period, I taught English at the village girls’ school and interacted with the teachers, all of whom were extremely open and eager to exchange information with me about family life, family values, and cultural norms in Jordan and America. My stay in the vil- lage, as well as my visits to the capital city of Amman, to Al al-Bayt University in Mafraq, to Mu’tah University in the province of Karak, and to the village of Taybeh that overlooks the magnificent rocks of Petra, has given me invaluable insights into contemporary Arab life as manifested in Jordan. I was especially amazed to see the effects of the rapid social change currently underway in the village and the city. The march to progress in Jordan, as in varying degrees throughout the Arab region, is incontestable. I hope that the aspirations of the many Arab men and women who have anonymously contributed to this work will be realized in the near future. This study is my second exploration into Arab family life. As with the first volume, Mothers and Daughters in Arab Women’s Literature: The Family Frontierr (Leiden: Brill, 2011), I am greatly indebted to the work of others in Middle Eastern studies; without this extensive x ACKNOWLEDGMENTS literature, I would have been lost in the field. I thank Brill Publishers for permission to reuse some material from the first two chapters of my book. Finally, I want to extend a special thanks to all the Arab authors who appear in this volume for allowing me the use of excerpts from their works of prose and poetry for the purpose of review or criticism and to illustrate or buttress a point. I also thank their trans- lators, editors, and publishers for permission to reprint these excerpts, as detailed in the endnotes, bibliography, and permissions.