101 Spells You Can Do Without ======Originally Compiled By

101 spells you can do without ======originally compiled by

Bill Garrett and Nushae Siobhan Fahey

295 additions compiled by

Joel Hahn

Thanks to all who contributed: Nathan Amed, Paul Brinkley, Jay Cherry, Jonathan Coolidge, Ian Crowther, Joe Delisle, Nushae Siobhan Fahey, Curtis Frye, Bill Garrett, Joel Hahn, Larry Keber, John Kochmar, Tim Larson, Jonathan Sivier, Brian Snoddy, Stefan Thieme, and many, many others.

More can be found by reading the Cylindrical Scrolls, printed in Dragon Magazine a while back. (Copyright law prevents their inclusion here.)

1 Acid Trip 2 Affect Abnormal Fires 3 Affect Normal Foyers 4 Air Breathing (land-dwellers only) 5 Airshape (like Stoneshape, but with normal air) 6 Airy Air 7 Alamir's Freeway Breakdown 8 Alamir's Fundamental Theorem 9 Algorhythm I-III (sp?) 10 Anger God 11 Animate Bread 12 Anti-Anti-Magic Shell (Pro-Magic Shell?) 13 Anti-Magic Eggshell 14 Anti-Magic Magic Missle 15 Anti-Magic Magic Mouth 16 Antipathy Orb 17 Audible Hammer (of the M.C. variety) 18 Auditable Glamour 19 Augmented Chord I, ii, III, iv, V, VI, vii 20 Bad Lighting 21 Badly Programmed Illusion 22 Become Dead (reverse of Resurrect Self) 23 Bigby's Assertive Finger 24 Bigby's Clenched Teeth 25 Bigby's Critically Fumbling Hand 26 Bigby's Glove (colors the various Bigby's Hand spells, no bonus) 27 Bigby's Groping Hand 28 Bigby's Hairy-Palmed Hand 29 Bigby's Insulting Hand (the second finger is rather prominent) 30 Bigby's Limp-Wristed Hand 31 Bigby's Shadow-Animal Making Hands 32 Bigby's "Shush"ing Hand 33 Black & White Spray 34 Blind Self 35 Bold Monster 36 Bookworm Blast 37 Break-Wind Wall 38 Break the Wind 39 Bubbling Rainstorm 40 Burning Hands (Yours, ouch) 41 Can Trip (And does!) 42 Change Elf 43 Charm Dead 44 Charm Friends 45 Charm Groupie 46 Charm Potted Plants 47 Charm Self 48 Charm Undead (X rated version) 49 Cheeseball 50 Circling the Square (i.e. Times, Trafalger, Tiannemen) 51 Clause of the Lawyer 52 Clear Audience (usually follows Delayed Blast Flatulence) 53 Clone Undead 54 Clown 55 Color Safe Spray 56 Compulsive Disorder 57 Cone of Bubbles 58 Conjure Emmenthaler 59 Contact This Plane 60 Continual Bad Lighting 61 Continual Right (a political spell) 62 Control Casting Time (controls the casting time of this spell only) 63 Control Feather 64 Copyright Shroud 65 Crass Suggestion 66 Create Coat Hanger 67 Cure Animal Hide 68 Cure Light Winds 69 Cure Smoked Ham 70 Cure STD 71 Current Life 72 Cylons, 10' Radius 73 Cymbal 74 Dalamar's Whoopee Cushion (things that make you go hmmmm) 75 Darkness, 15 micron radius 76 Daylight (material components: must be cast outdoors in bright sunlight) 77 Deathwish 78 Deeppocket Lint 79 Delayed Blast Cantrip 80 Delayed Blast Flatulence 81 Delayed Blast Spitball 82 Demand Blindness 83 Demi-Shadow Puppets 84 Deny Reality 85 Detect Crying 86 Detect Dead (Yep, he's dead alright...) 87 Detect Detect Spells 88 Detect Hound 89 Detect Lightning Bolts (area: 5') 90 Detect Pervert 91 Detect Pink Bunny Rabbits 92 Detect Self (allows you to see if you are yourself) 93 Detect Strikes and Spares 94 Detect Tragic (oooh, theres a sad happening over there!) 95 Detect Unseen Butler 96 Detect Visibility (Yep, I can see that) 97 Detect Weevil 98 Detect Wind 99 Differentiate Without Error (Hey, you never know...) 100 Dimension Doorknob 101 Dispell Nonmagical Reptiles & Amphibians 102 Dispurse Self 103 Doug 104 Doug's Generic Spell 105 Drain Vaccuum 106 Draw Upon Religious Right 107 Drawmij's Court Summons 108 Drawmij's Instant Cake Mix 109 Drawmij's Instant Coffee (components: hot water and cup) 110 Drawmij's Instant Death (Drawmij's CON must be about -30 by now...) 111 Earthly Chorus 112 Enchanted Toothpick 113 Enlightening Bolt 114 Enrage Dragon 115 ESPN 116 Ethertalk 117 Evard's Black Growth (range: 0) 118 Evard's Black Testicles 119 Evard's Blue Testicles 120 Explosive Familiar (it's *your* familiar) 121 Explosive Friends 122 Extension Cord I, II, and III 123 Extinguish Match (casting time: 5 rounds) 124 Face Grasp 125 Fear of Sunmotes 126 Feather Brain 127 Feather Flail 128 Feign Life (as if the caster has one) 129 Feign Orgasm 130 Find Acquaintance 131 Find Floor (somatic component: falling on face) 132 Find Hand 133 Finger of Near-Fatal Injury 134 Finger of Plead 135 Fire Alarm 136 Fire Rap 137 Fire Stick 138 Fireball (reversed) 139 Fiscal Projection 140 Fist of Flesh 141 Fleshskin (range: self) 142 Fool's Lead 143 Foresee Unseen Butler 144 Forget Spells (area: self) 145 Forehead 146 Foreskin 147 Fourier's Transformation 148 Furball 149 Furry Fire 150 Gaze at Reflection 151 Geese 152 Get Flu 153 Get Life 154 Glassteal (swipe that beermug from that unsuspecting peasant) 155 Globe of Vulnerability 156 Grate 157 Graze reflection (if someone hurts your knee) 158 Guess Alignment 159 Hair Extension I, II, III 160 Hallucinatory Escape 161 Hallucinatory Train 162 Hand of Skin 163 Hatch Egg (somatic component: sit on egg) 164 Heal Monster (only works on opponents during combat) 165 Heel 166 Hold Bladder 167 Hold Mustard 168 Hold Self 169 Hornung's Gas 170 Hornung's Police Dispatcher 171 Housefly 172 Hug Self 173 Illusion Debugger (for Badly Programmed Illusions) 174 Illusionary Crypt 175 Iggy's Invisible Illusion 176 Illegal Thoughts (That serving wench looks older than 18) 177 Implosive Runes 178 Impress Plants 179 Improper Suggestion 180 Indirection (address register postincrement) 181 Indivisibility (The caster is a prime number) 182 Insect Plague, 5' Radius 183 Integrate (reversible, Differentiate) 184 Invisibility to Inanimate Objects 185 Invisibility to Dead 186 Invisible Talker 187 Irritate Self 188 Kender Summoning I, II, III ( Illegal ! ) 189 Kitchen Sink 190 Knock Knock 191 Know Own Alignment 192 Know Person (in the biblical sense of the word...) 193 Kooshball 194 Legend Bore 195 Legend Lore, Extended Dance Mix 196 Leomund's Condemned Shelter 197 Leomund's Grass Hut 198 Leomund's Mortgaged Shelter 199 Leomund's Risky Tax Shelter 200 Leomund's Secure Chest Cavity 201 Leomund's Sturdy Music Box 202 Leomund's Tap 203 Leomund's Underfunded Homeless Shelter 204 Level Water 205 Lightning Blot 206 Limited Dish (Sorry sir, the Dover Sole is off) 207 Limited Wash 208 Locate Right Hand 209 Locate Self (tells you where you are, relative to your location) 210 Locate Tongue (requires verbal component) 211 Locate Wizard (the _nearest_ wizard) 212 Lorloveim's Shady Deal 213 Lose Familiar (Get lost, ya wee booger!) 214 Lower Cholesterol Level 215 Lower Inhibitions 216 Maggot Missle 217 Magic Boomeranging Missile 218 Magic Gristle 219 Magic Missal (A really boring prayersheet) 220 Magic Moth 221 Magic Orifice 222 Magic Shotglass (as opposed to Magic Jar) 223 Mail of the Banshee (victim gets letter saying "Waaaaaahh...") 224 Maize 225 Matrix Addition 226 Mauve Earth 227 Meld, Canasta Version 228 Melf's Acid Bow 229 Melf's Acid Trip 230 Melf's Minute Rice 231 Melodramatic Phantom Defenders 232 Memorize Spell 233 Meteor Swan 234 Micrometeorite Storm 235 Mildly Surprising Grasp 236 Minor Delousing 237 Mistaken Identify 238 Mistaken Thought (Gee, guys, it _looked_ like a Gas Spore) 239 Moaning Spirit 240 Mordenkainen's Agnostic Hound 241 Mordenkainen's Aroused Hound (can't get it off of the nearest leg) 242 Mordenkainen's Big Ears (+1 to all hearing checks, ear size quadrupled) 243 Mordenkainen's Bored Cat 244 Mordenkainen's Celery 245 Mordenkainen's Conjunction (Conjunction Junction, what's your function?) 246 Mordenkainen's Faithful Mosquito 247 Mordenkainen's Freeway Junction 248 Mordenkainen's Lubrication 249 Mordenkainen's Sword, -1 Backbiter 250 Mordenkainen's Unfaithful Wife 251 Move Venus 252 Muenster Summoning I-VII 253 Murder Darkness 254 Murdoch's Featherless Fryer (Verbal component: "Butterball") 255 Murdock's Feathery Pillow 256 Nahal's Banana Peel (appears under random ally's foot) 257 No Time 258 No Vacancy 259 Nystul's Undetectible Aura 260 Otiluke's Happy Fun Sphere 261 Otiluke's Resilient Ear 262 Otiluke's Room Temperature Sphere 263 Otto's Irresistible Disco-Duck 264 Otto's Resistable Dance 265 Paraphrase Magic 266 Part Hair 267 Pastel Blade of Warm Fuzzies (9th level Drow spell) 268 Penultimate Fall 269 Phantasmal Fork 270 Phantasmal Morse 271 Phantasmal Thriller 272 Plane XOR 273 Polymorph Mother 274 Power Word Missing 275 Power Word, NO! 276 Power Word, Noogie 277 Power Word, Puke 278 Power Word, Pun 279 Power Word, Smirk 280 Power Word, Spam 281 Power Word, Wedgie 282 Protection from Catnips 283 Protection from Elvis, 10' Radius 284 Protection from Evil Kenevil (sp?) 285 Protection from Halitosis 286 Protection from Normal Air 287 Protection from Normal Missals 288 Protection from Normal Oxygen 289 Protection from Normal Pillows 290 Protection from Self 291 Protection from Weevil 292 Psychoanalyze Without Error (Zo, ven dit you shtop lofink your mutter?) 293 Purge Memory 294 Putrefy Offal 295 Rainbow Enhancer 296 Random Casualty 297 Rary's Mnemonic Cancer (eats away at those favorite spells) 298 Rary's Mnemonic Device (makes silly acronyms out of things) 299 Rary's Pneumonic Cough (range: self) 300 Read Common 301 Rectum of Retention 302 Reincarnation Door 303 Remove Hand (yours) 304 Remove Minus Sign (reversible) 305 Remove Nurse ("Good-Byyyeeee Nurse!") 306 Remove Reality 307 Remove Self 308 Remove Strong Language 309 Reservation 310 Rest Erection 311 Resurrect Living 312 Resurrect Self (problem: must be alive to cast the spell) 313 Reverse Graffiti 314 Rice Storm 315 Rock Summoning I 316 Sepia Cake Sigil 317 Serten's Smell Immunity 318 Sheepskin 319 Shocking Gasp (usually follows Tenser's Shocking Suggestion) 320 Silence of the Lambs, 15' radius 321 Sleep with Dead (yuck... unless you're a real Necromancer) 322 SmorgasMorph 323 Soap-on-a-Rope Trick 324 Solid Frog 325 Speak With Boring Monsters 326 Speak With Dead Plants 327 Speak With Grateful Dead 328 Speak With Living (components: two tin cans and a string) 329 Speak WIth Mud 330 Speak With Self 331 Sucker (for those of you who actually cast the spell) 332 Summon Allergy 333 Summon Death (Death arrives and kills the caster) 334 Summon Self 335 Swift Envelope 336 Tape Mount 337 Tasha's Controllable Mildly Unpleasant Laughter 338 Tasha's Uncontrollable Bladder 339 Tasha's Uncontrollable Hideous Daughter (a.k.a. 'Sela') 340 Tasha's Uncontrollable Hideous Die Rolls 341 Tasha's Uncontrollable Hideous Flatulence 342 Tasha's Uncontrollable Hideous Gesture 343 Tasha's Uncontrollable Hideous Hand 344 Tax Avoidance 345 Taunt a Second Time 346 Teleport Environment 347 Teleport With Lots of Errors 348 Teleport Without Destination 349 Teleport Without Terror 350 Tenser's Double-Sided, Double Density Disk 351 Tenser's Floating Point 352 Tenser's Formatted Disk 353 Tenser's Gloating Disk 354 Tenser's Shocking Suggestion (you want to WHAT??!) 355 Tenser's Slipped Disk 356 Tenser's Deadly Resurrection 357 Tensor Transformations 358 This Space for Rent (fills up space on a scroll or in a mage's memory) 359 Time Start 360 Tonguetwister Change 361 Tons 362 Transmute Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust (priest spell) 363 Transmute Friends to Enemies 364 Transmute Head to Butt 365 Transmute RGB to HSV 366 Transmute Rock to Stone (reversible) 367 Transmute Rock to Jazz 368 Trap the Sole (see Limited Dish) 369 Turn Friends Into Enemies 370 Turn Pebble (rotation, not banishment) 371 Undefined Symbol 372 Unenlightening Bolt 373 Unheard Servant 374 Unscented Cloud 375 Unseen Manservant 376 Unseen Pervert 377 Unseen Sympathy 378 Vampiric Breathing (perfect for harassing phone calls) 379 Vampiric Crutch 380 Varnish 381 Visible Stalker 382 Walk 383 Wall of Dog 384 Wall of Horse 385 Wall of Non-Dairy Creamer 386 Wall of Normal Air 387 Wall of Paper 388 Wall of Velcro 389 Waste 390 Wink 391 Wizard Eyebrow 392 Wizard Lick 393 Wizard Nostril 394 Wizard Stain 395 You Wish! 396 ZX-Spectral Force

------Michael P. Duff, Jr.