CALLBACKS Schroeder and Pigpen Title Page

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CALLBACKS Schroeder and Pigpen Title Page

(Name of Project) by (Name of First Writer) (Based on, If Any) Revisions by (Names of Subsequent Writers, in Order of Work Performed) Current Revisions by (Current Writer, date) Name (of company, if applicable) Address Phone Number As Pigpen dances, SCHROEDER enters. They collide. MUSIC STOPS. Pigpen hurriedly returns to hooping. PIGPEN Sorry, sorry. SCHROEDER It’s fine, just- watch where you’re going. PIGPEN Sorry, sorry. Just wondering if you have a quarter or a Cliff bar-- SCHROEDER Pigpen? Beat. PIGPEN Schroeder? Beat. SCHROEDER I’d ask how it’s going, but I think that might be disingenuous. PIGPEN Ha. That’s funny. SCHROEDER I’m not joking. PIGPEN That’s why it’s funny. SCHROEDER Haven’t seen you for... a while. PIGPEN I’ve seen you! That big billboard of you downtown? SCHROEDER (false humility) Oh yeah? You saw that? So embarrassing. Did you like it? PIGPEN Like it? I slept under it for a week. SCHROEDER Oh. Cool. (beat) I’m glad they found you. 2. PIGPEN They? SCHROEDER You completely fell off the grid, y’know? But Sally was really hoping we could get everybody back together for this-- PIGPEN What? SCHROEDER It’s what he would’ve wanted. PIGPEN What are you talking about? Pause. SCHROEDER Do you know where you are? (pause) Pigpen... Charlie Brown is dead. We’re all coming in for the funeral. The van Pelts. That red- headed girl who was always around for some reason. Patty’s coming in from France. Marcie. That black guy whose name I can never remember-- PIGPEN Franklin. SCHROEDER Franklin! Thank you. PIGPEN What happened? SCHROEDER I don’t know yet. I only he got sick real fast and then he was dead. PIGPEN What about his dog? SCHROEDER Oh Snoopy died years ago. PIGPEN Good. That dog was a Nazi. (beat) Well... If I’m gonna find out? 3. I’m very glad I found out from you. Let’s get in there. SCHROEDER Pigpen... PIGPEN What? Schroeder sizes him up. PIGPEN Oh. Right. SCHROEDER I just don’t know if it would be appropriate. PIGPEN If it would be appropriate or if I would be appropriate? SCHROEDER That’s actually funny. PIGPEN I wasn’t joking. SCHROEDER That’s why it’s-- PIGPEN Yeah. Hey Schroeder, why don’t you go ahead and fuck off into the service? SCHROEDER Pigpen-- PIGPEN DID I STUTTER!?! SCHROEDER No, but you lisped a little bit-- Pigpen charges him. Schroeder flinches. PIGPEN FUCK. OFF. A staredown. Schroeder relents. SCHROEDER Good luck, Pigpen. I’m sorry. Schroeder exits..

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