on Detours, the fearlessly outspoken Sheryl Crowcontinues a journey of self-discovery that hasincreasingly appealed to both the head and the heart.

Detours is a beautiful, personal journey written with as much passion and sung with as much feeling as only Sheryl can do.

speaking of detours ... Next Friday will mark the 14-year anniversary of this column. We started in the Original TWT and it's been ond detour Iafter another...1a years in New York, a run with Q Texasand TXT, a move back to Texasand full circle to another incarnation of TWT. Edited by Jimmy R. Smith [email protected] A lot has happened musically in 14 years. We were just coming out of the Stock, Aitkin, Waterman era and the elder Bush back then. Techno was in full force and it was all about RealMcCoy,Crystal Waters, CftC Music Factory- Detours • • • and Ace of Base oye vay!

Bolder and more free-spirited than ever, Sheryl Marking her reunion with Bill Bottrell, who Howtime flies so next week on the 14th marks Crow embarks on paths both deeply personal produced her sensational 1993 debut, Tuesday 14years...profound. and grandly global on Detours (Interscope/AftM Night Music Club, Detours wends its way across Records). Filled with songs about having and the pop musical landscape from the rockin' Sonow what? We'll gab next week..•;) holding, changing and letting go, about begin- "Shine Over Babylon" and acoustic folk "God nings, endings, and the roads between them, Bless This Mess" to the plaintive "Diamond Detours was inspired by "how I feel things are Ring." An out-of-the-blue telephone call from going in the world and what's happened to me Crow prompted a reconciliation with Bottrell the last couple of years," says the nine-time and brought him to the studio at her farm near Grammy Award winning singer-songwriter. Nashville to produce her sixth studio album. ,

Crow's lyrical signposts range from the demise Eachof her previous studio albums has charted Books· Magazines· Music CD's of a relationship, the adoption of a child (baby Top 10 and earned at least platinum certifica- UPPER DECK, C Wyatt, who guests on "Lullaby For Wyatt"), a tion. The seven times platinum Tuesday Night ,;;~ H~);J;J3L & BAR __ga .(~;;;,D/ J"/"',.'['/:~ ~/ ~~p'~, \.• ; 'd.J qA I» .c (".'"/1,A <1'? l ~;.,..\1 ,Q @"JJ ::I public bout with breast cancer to the war in Music Club hit #3 and earned three Grammys- r:.. - n Iraq ("Peace Be Upon Us," featuring Arabic lyr- -Best New Artist, Record of the Year and Best .2 iKOOim~OOilO~~l !!. ics sung by Ahmed Al Hirmi), environmental di- Female Pop Vocal Performance for the clas- <; ~~~[WJO~ ~ saster ("Gasoline" featuring Ben Harper), and sic "All I Wanna Do." The album also featured the ravaged New Orleans of Hurricane Katrina "Strong Enough," "Can't Cry Anymore," and eD L....'" '.~_...IIt t.",.· '.t.~~.;~:, "Leaving LasVegas." :e ("Love Is Free"). cS ~:~:J I" ~"",1,'1:""1"1 5CD- o~_,,..:,,,,,l. .i" ,ii!!' I 111 •• .,;.( ,",'_> ,I : l'll ,"~: ••• 1996's triple platinum Sheryl Crow (#6) =e ,",.~ I ~.~l.f>j.J • rn r- earned the Grammy for Best Rock Album c c and, for "If It Makes You Happy," Best eD 0- :::E :::!. Female Rock Vocal Performance. 1998's n 111 platinum The Globe Sessions (#5) also I rn ::I garnered the Best Rock Album Grammy, S as its "Everyday Is A Winding Road" and .e en "My Favorite Mistake" both reached the Pop Top 20.

The new millennium brought 2002's platinum C'rnon C'mon (ti~), whose gold "Soak Up The Sun" peakedsin the Top 20 and "Steve McQueen" again nabbed her a Best Female Rock Vocal Performance rn Grammy. The 2003 greatest hits compila- tion, the four times platinum The Very Best Of Sheryl Crow, was also a #2 char- ter, featuring a new recording, a cover of Cat Stevens' "The First Cut Is The Deep- lIE UU,t est." 2005's platinum Wildflower (#2) $ UOOl3~mm~mo~ ~ featured the duet with Sting, "Always On (; Sa!AOW SHNOAO -SJa,SOd - a!Ja6un Your Side." TRIVIA GAME SHOW STARRING A IVANA TRAMP CASH PRIZE

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Ivana'::; Best Chest Contest at '10 pm CASH PRIZE Watch Ivana's new fun video at www.mickeysdallas.com ,.....,...... ~'i..~~~1C Houston Unites! DALLAS In March, the Houston Transgender Unity The Round-up Saloon continues the annual tradi- Committee joins with other local transgender tion of presenting its Easter Basket Auction on organizations in presenting Unity Month. During Sunday, March 16 from 7 pm until 2 am at the club, this month every year, members of the trans 3912 Cedar Springs. On hand will be a myriad of groups in the area encourage one another to par- fabulous baskets containing even more fabulous ticipate in the meetings and activities of the differ- gifts that you can bid on all that night. There are ent groups. encouraging a spirit of collaboration two nights of previews in The Parlor on Friday and and support. Unity Month events include meetings Saturday, March 14 - 15, and, best of all, all pro- of Helping TransGendersAnonymous, which meets ceeds from the Auction benefit the TGRA and The every Monday at 7 pm at the Havens Center at st. Nutrition Center of the Dallas ResourceCenter. For Stephen's EpiscopalChurch, 1827 W. Alabama; the more information, please contact the Round-up at Community Advisory Board, meeting every 214-522-9611. Thursday at 7 pm at the Houston GLBTCommunity Center, 3400 Montrose Blvd, Suite 207;) Tau Chi, The most OUTrageous game in town, gaybingo, the Houston chapter of Tri-Ess (Society for the takes place on the third Saturday of every month at Second Self,) which is hosting its monthly meeting the renowned Rose Room at S4, 3911 Cedar on Saturday, March 15 at 7:30 prn at My Dee Dee's Springs. This month's game features the theme of Pie Shoppe & Deli, 301 W. Gulf Bank Road and Dead Celebs and continues to present the leg- which will feature attorney and activist PhylliS endary Patti Le Plae Safe and her band of Bingo Randolph Frye, who will speak about transgender Verifying Divas (BVD's) in a fun-filled and riotous legal issuesduring the meeting; the Houston chap- evening of B-4's and G-32's that are sure to leave ter of the Texas Association of Transgender you begging for more. Doors open at 5 pm, and Support (TATS,) which will meet on Saturday, the games begin at 6 pm. Tickets are just $16.50, March 22 at 4 pm at the Community Center; and and can be purchased by visiting rccdallas.org. All Some Transgenders Are Guys (STAG,) which will proceeds benefit the programs and services of the gather on Saturday, March 22 at 5 prn, also at the ResourceCenter of Dallas, which operates both the Community Center. For more information about John Thomas Gay & Lesbian Community Center Unity Month and most Houston-area transgender and The Nelson-TebedoHealth ResourceCenter,as support groups, please visit the Houston well as a host of educational, outreach and nutri- Transgender Unity Committee website at htuc.org, tional programs for members of the community. or TransHouston at transhouston.com.

HOUSTON SAN ANTONIO The Diana Foundation, one of Houston's premiere Terpischore Entertainment presents LiGaya's Muse fundraising organizations, presents its annual at one of San Antonio's most-cherished landmarks, spring gala on Saturday, March 29 at 7 pm at the the Arneson River Theater, each Tuesday and Houston City Club, One City Club Drive in the Thursday through March 20. This enchanted Greenway Plaza district. For 55 years, the evening under the stars brings Pop and R&B music Foundation has been a powerful source of funding to life with the vocal stylings of LiGayaand a tal- to myriad GLBTcauses in and around the city, and ented cast of dancers. This musical ,re~iew - fea- its sterling reputation consistently ranks it as turing an all San Antonio cast - will take:'you on a dynamic and vital supporter of arts and social serv- journey through several eras of music, paying hom- ice programs in the community. This year's event age to the artist, the music and the pop culture features the musical talents of popular Dallas that inspired the sounds and sights of each decade. chanteuse, Linda Petty. Tickets for this black-tie Tickets are just $20 for adults, $15 for seniors and dinner event are just $150, and can be obtained by military personnel and $12 for children twelve and calling 713-639-2000. under. For more information, please call 210-507- 7671. '

Dear Diva... was definitely of the homosexual persuasion, 'cause I played with her unbridled cock on many a What is with all the foot fetishes. I see so many toe-sucking porn films night when we bartended together at the old lately .. I mean EWWWI They are really getting into it and then the top Sunset Boulevard before she found pussy and I takes the bottoms big toe in his mouth and slurps on it like an exotic truf- found sophistication. I can't for the life of me fle or something. Aren't they afraid of getting athlete's mouth??? Then understand how a nice Jewish boy like Erica could they KISSEDI What about that!? spend a decade of his life pursuing the gay dream, only to decide later on that women were where it Dr. Schall was really at, but then I've never been one for fol- lowing society's or my family's dictates...which is Dear Corn Remover: why I've always been the pink sheep of the family. I will share with you a personal experience that I can only assume that you have never had physical contact with another may shed some light on the subject. My father was human being in your life, choosing to find your intimacy in front of a TV or mon- as gay as Richard Simmons, and quite frequently itor rather than actually interacting and having intimate moments with another got himself into a world of trouble with his father human being because if the act of toe-sucking elicits an "EWWW' from you, I over his after-school antics. When it came time to can only imagine how you would react if you were to give a man a blow job or, prepare his will, my grandfather made it quite clear heaven forbid, rim him. Imagine where those body parts have been, won't you? that dear old dad wouldn't get his cut of the gelt if In fact, you must shudder to think of French kissing someone, since the human he wasn't married and hadn't produced an heir. So, mouth contains more bacteria and other nasty little organisms than virtually Daddy married Mommy, produced me - and was anything else on the planet. But, yeah, sucking a toe is gross. C'mon, included in the beneficiary column of Grandpa's honey...grow up! Sting's been caught on camera giving an oral pedicure to his final wishes. Possibly, something similar happened wife, and Tommy Lee actually offers to suck the toes of his band members, to Erica, and she was merely doing what her fami- male and female, but it's...well, EWWWW. All of that aside, New Age beliefs ly wanted in order to gain something substantial associate the human foot with our understanding of life, ourselves and others, later. I'm not one of those that believes that a tiger which basically means that the little piggies represent an awareness of the can change its stripes, as it were, so I find it com- greater world around us and of ourselves - sort of a gateway to the sale, as it pletely doubtful that Erica's now drinking beer and were. Thank you, I'm here 'til Saturday. Medically, the foot is the most sensi- scratching himself at Spurs' games. I can only tive part of the body, with more bones and more nerve endings per square foot hope that whoever he ultimately married wears the than anywhere else in the anatomy. Which is why, frequently, foot fetishes are same shoe size - it would be such a shame to let all so closely associated with tickling, and why so many people that serve feet also those Chucks and Maude Frizons go to waste. are into tickling and bondage. Additionally, sucking on a toe during the pene- tration phase of intercourse is sort of like being able to give a blow-jab while ramming the daylights out of one's partner - which satisfies the oral fixation that so many of us have. So, as you see, slurping on some toes is not only clean- er than many other practices, but it also satisfies many other sexual and spiri- ~ tual urges that we as humans may experience. I would suggest that, even if you can't personally stomach the practice, you at least recognize that shrimp- ing (the act of sucking someone's toes) is just another form of sexual expres- sion like felching or rimming or whatever and you have the choice of participat- ing or not participating - should you ever get your ass out from in front of that TV or monitor and actually have an intimate moment with someone other than Rosie Palms, that is. ~~~~~~ Dear Diva: lance knew a Drag Queen named Erica Clayton who bought hundreds of pairs of high heels .. boxed them up and cataloged them. THEN SHE WENT STRAIGHT!!! Was it cause she needed someone in a strap-on to wear them for her??? I am so confused ...

Huto Jato

Dear Faygala: ....,';S' - .• Licks it up • I knew Erica, too, as strange as that might seem, and it wasn't jusfl\er need for and spins it out an organized shoe rack that sticks in my brain, but also the tight leatherette pants, Jellies and kimono that she wore inflight during a trip to Europe with her OUSSMU51C mother. The only thing that was missing was a fan and a chiffon scarf, but I'm sure she packed those away in her faux LV to wear once she de-planed. She DIP BOP URBIlN 18+ to party 21+ to drink 810 Pacific Ave Houston 713.529.S0BE southbeachthenightclub.commyspace.comJsobehousto~

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We always have the best time with this bunch of heav- enly honchos, and invariably end up just gabbing and gabbing the night away....

When we're not busy having a thrilling time with the Fab Five, we always like to go over to Mickey's for thei r fagulous Family Fussshow on Wednesday nights. Each week, "family" members play against each other for a chance to win cash and other great prizes while mis- tress of ceremonies Wayne Smith uses Mickey's exclu- ~ sive master control podium to perfection. Best of all, every winning family member gets a prize - which means that, even if you're not the brightest bulb in the TEXAS If A as . ddJ p.i~" .~ Big 0 TEA If you weren't at the Roundup's Hottest Cowboy con- test, then you missed an opportunity to seeTHE hottest men in the Metroplex strutting around on stage in packed Wranglers and enormous ropers. When the competition was over, two of the most dee-lish dudes

chandelier, you've got a 50-50 chance of walking out of the club with a bauble or bead or Wayne's gaft or some- thing. We caught one of the contestants mid-ponder during a particularly tense response period that required several sips of a refreshing adult beveragejust to summon the correct answer. Which was gab, just soze ya know. ever to don Stetsons walked away winners, and will be Oh, and just soze ya know, Kaliente presents Gaby's jetting off to Las Vegas for Sin City's annual Gay Pride Illusions Travesty Show every Wednesday night, so Festivalin May. For the one or two of you that haven't when you're through playing the Fuss you can head been overwhelmed in person by the studliness of the over for a whole 'nother kind of entertainment on two winners, their names are Michael Davis and Larry Maple. Gaby is just the sweetest thing, and when she Minutella, and two finer men to represent Dallas and - takes to the stage you're never quite sure whether it the Lone Star state simply haven't been created by the really is Tina rolling down the river or Cher turning back dude that does all that creation stuff. Hell, we'd ride time. One of those "only her hairdresser knows for them anytime, any day, anyplace and to anywhere - sure" sorta things .... including all the way to Vegas. And wouldn't that be a Sight? While we were at the contest, we busted a pas- Finally, did you know that S4 has got a whopping 1372 sel of potent potable palace paramounts, namely Gary My Space Friends, and that absolutely every one of and Alan of the Round-up; Frank of Pekers' fame; and the divinely dapper Glen & JD from the Dallas Eagle.

them was at the club the other night to do the off-line introduction thingy. Yesh, babies, the place was packed mix-master Tad Dvorak would come sit in our lap before selves being resoundingly to the rafters (no small feat, since the club's multi-level, the same time. Gaea he really started spinning in the booth when who to our thumped in the dub ...in doncha know) with ribald revelers tapping their toes knows we caught a chill wandering eyes should appear but the comely couple of the parking lot... in the and spinning their moray taffeta to the spinning of res- and broke out into a Aaron and JP, who added a bit of spice to the already back seat of our Jeep... ident retro DJ, Brian McCombs, whose talents with a very embarrassing flavorful Cajun cuisine we were enjoying. Between the AND in our bedroom the twelve-inch and a board are legendary throughout the sweat while gazing at next morning. Hey, we state. And, both Brian and those 1372 friends were Giovanni's packed tried to get rid of her, but instrumental in the club's recent donation of a whop- pOUCh, so you can once she starts a- ping $12,000 to the Resource Center of Dallas, every imagine how feverish thumpin' .... dollar of which came from the incredible Carnivale 3 we were when we spot- that was held at the club. Goodtimes, great events and ted the nummy nips on Back in the 'hood, we such sisterly generosity...always at 541 Cam and Nick. And that headed over to EJ's for was all before we'd had their Private Dancer do last Cowtown TEA our first cocktail, don- Thursday, and spent a Never - repeat, NEVER- go to a rodeo with Caress cha know... couple of hours catching Riatta, even if her celebrity is so potent that she can get up with our favorite host- you backstage and in the locker room to ogle all of the Speaking of having ess at the club, Roxanne hot daddies pulling off their odoriferous Lucchesesand cocktales, our very dear Collins, who regaled us stripping off their sweaty jeans. We knew all of this friend Randall Jobe over with stories of exactly what it is she does to put her from years of attending Diana Rossconcerts with her, at JR's has a ton of them - many of which include us, a Primo Male Dancers through their paces. Honeys, you but we figured time had changed things and she would can of Crisco, an unlimited access Man Patrol key num- higher temperatures outside and the even higher would NOTbelieve it....but, we're simply too shy to dis- have tamed down just a little bit. Not just no, but HELL ber, four platters of degrees at sose, JP is starting to sport a lovely spring- cuss it, so you'll just have to ask her the next time you no....sistah is as crazy as ever, and we not only found Shrimp Mojo de Ajo time flush of color that we'll bet makes his buff bod see her. We also ran into the club's resident hunk-a- ourselves mingling with half-naked hunks fresh from from Baba Yega, a pack even more bee-yor-geous - and, most importantly, cre- hunk-a-burnin' buffness and former TWT coverman, their rides, but also in the beds of several San Antonio- of balloons and a dozen ates a visually enticing "tan"-line for us to ogle when we roses from 1-800- made Tundras that felt just like a suite at the Four spot him dishabille in the changing room at the gym. Seasonsby the time we were through. The only prob- Flowers.com. Of As if it's the tan line we're looking at.. .. lem is that we left our Cruise Camera in one of those course, the biggest tale is the one that Mr. J Tundras and now have no photos to include in this Since all the cowpokes week's coverage. Trust, we WILL find that camera, packs himself, which is were up north at the evident from our Cruise 'cause there are some incriminating photos in it of Cowtown Rodeo, the Camera photo that Caressand us learning how to buck broncos and rope Brazos River Bottom - proves that black isn't steers, so we gotta get it back if just for the memories. BRB, to those in the necessarily slimming for But see...never go to a rodeo with Caress...ya get into know - sagely hosted a so much trouble. individual body parts. Night in Black Leather Suffice it to say that we soiree that brought out required several of his Space CiTEA more Daddies than the perfectly-poured potent all-you-can-eat buffet at You've just gotta love an establishment that features potables before we virtually nothing but studly staffers in various stages of BlackAngus on the third were able to successfully contain ourselves...not unlike Sunday in June. Brian, who - in honor of all the cowboys in Ft. Worth - undress, which is why those leather pants...ahem. everyone just adores Despite the fact that was clad in his best Stetson, black tie and cuffs...and there was a literal virtually nothing else. Which didn't hurt her, South Beach, the Pacific When one thinks of the party palace that's not embarrassment of rich- babies....We think Brian ought to be going through Montrose Mining es in the hottie depart- Roxanne'spacesfor us, but that's a whole 'nother story, only the coolest place Company, one immedi- on Earth...it's the ment, the only thing sweeties... ately thinks of hand- hottest, too! After all, that we fixated on all some and hirsute hunks any dance hall - espe- night was absolutely every inch of the club's resident Our good friends at Tony'SCorner Pocket recently host- strutting about in that pappa chulo, David, who - once again, didn't disap- ed a benefit show for the Spay-Neuter Assistance cially one that's ranked macho way that they as the Number One point. Why, the perfect pard was even nice enough to Program of Houston (SNAP,)and we were naturally on- have and causing all of don a pair biker boots for us to spit-Shine and lick, hand to do our part to make sure that there's not a Dance Club in H-town - us to bring out thel....-ll"'·a that employs the servic- which went a really long way in keeping us from being plethora of pussy running throughout the neighbor- extra-large drool bucket sad that all the ropers were up in the Metroplex. For hood. The highlight of the event was the Miss Purrfect to contain all our drip- photos of some of our other faves at the event, please 2008 pageant, which was won easily by the vivacious pings. Well, we've take a gander at the special In Focus feature located vixen, Vivica, shown in our cruisy CC with too-too- found the archetype of right here in this very magazine you're now holding in that very man in a dash- your moist little hands.... ing dude by the name of Larry that is a sometime es of such devastatingly We were out at Crystal the other night, trying to avoid habitue of the longtime dee-lish dudes as the thumping of resident diva MelissaClinton, and were libation lounge and is introduced to a glam goddess by the name of Alia that Cameron and Nicholas - never without a legion of lugs that, like us, admire both as well as the unequivo- absolutely stunned us with her breathtaking beauty. his manliness and the corresponding attributes that cally enormous talents Honeys, that girl can paint! For the one or two of you prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that there's of the dashing and now that haven't kept up with their Arabic, Alia translates absolutely nothing coursing through his DNA profile but into sublime, highest of the high and closest to God, preppy Giovanni - is Y chromosomes. We know...we saw them... definitely a place that and this is definitely one case where one's name cer- tainly suits them. Babies, sista is stunning. Naturally, will raise your tempera- So, we're at Meteor the other night, knoshing on the tures and cause a chill all the attention we were given to the highest of the delectable edibles provided by B.B.'s on Montrose dur- high didn't sit well with la Clinton, and we found our- of delight to run up and ing happy hour and hoping beyond hope that resident down your spine, all at tempting escort Chris, to play, party and otherwise cavort and frolic. Our who won another com- Alamo CiTEA CruiseCamera lens just naturally sought-out the shak- petition that we were So, the really big news is the latest show at downtown's ers of the moving variety that make the club such a having in another part incredible Red Square Gallery - a show dubbed popular party place for the ladies - namely club honcho of the club. Selena St. POProtica and so filled with luscious and lascivious of the head variety Veronica and the ubiquitous and John expertly emceed images that it made us literally faint and fall prostrate always unanimous Deb Browning. You've got to be at the event, and quickly at the feet of the nearest hot man. Well, what would the club on Wednesdays, 'cause that's when you'll find found her way into the you have done? Before we fainted, however, we live bands and shows that'll rock your world and make arms of SNAPdo-good- snapped a photo of the three power-houses behind the you swear that you're at a Melissa Etheridge concert. er and all around fab glitz and glamour...power-houses by the names of Except,waaaay closer to the stage. fella Paul, who Ryan, Marc and Kimberly who are so renowned in Our described for us in great While we're on the subject of stages, Mr. Jenny McCall detail the process that is one of the most popular to grace same at the turns a rooster into a Showbar of the Southwest, the Saint, appearing many hen with one shot. times each week to impress, amaze and otherwise stun Vivid! the gathered crowds with her illusions and creativity.

Monica Adams gave us a ring the other night and sug- While we're on the subject of remembering, we can't gested that we pop-in to go over the latest McCall pat- remember the last time that we had as good a time as tern book AND to have we did at the 2015 the other night, primarily because a wee little drinkie with there are three pool tables for us to rack our balls on, her to celebrate the and studly staffers with really big cue sticks to make growing success of our sure we sink all of them. We also get a huge, really big clothing line. Okay, kick out of the club's weekly Karaoke night on we'd drink Wednesdays, and always make it a point to stop by to anyway...but, success is see who's going to be the next AI contestant. There's definitely something to always something fun to do at the 2015.... toast. At any rate, while looking at a fab frock on We hadn't been to Essencein a while, so you can imag- page 362, a caliente ine our surprise when we dropped into the club and dis- cutie by the name of covered a whole new slew of staff to provide us with Edwin stopped by to excellent customer service and, even better, a BBQ find out whether we night each Wednesday hosted by some of the buffest fashionistas could also But one night a week, la McCall becomes Junior to rule do chic chemises for over the club's popular porn parties and, more impor- men, and then offered tantly, convince tattooed hunks like the one in the to reveal himself to us cruizy CCimage of the most recent party to reveal both so that we could get all his measurements. Wasn't that their tats and other vital organs. We're not sure what sweet? For Edwin, we'll do shirts... role the other gentleman in the photo plays, but we do know it's a big one.... Finally, while looking for our best gal pal Mel at George last Sunday, we ran into our best buds Renee and Another big one coming up is the upcoming anniversary swell soiree at Heat in two weeks - a soiree that trumor- mongers are mongering is going to be the swellest that the club has ever had and that will include a video star Town's art world that they need no last names. Sort of of the adult variety that will so stun and amaze you with- like Cher...And, if you liked the cover image of our mag- his loving ways that you'll be demanding that he come azine two weeks ago, you only have Marc to thank for home with you that very night. We usually just demand it...we're just wondering if it was a self-portrait, 'cause that KC and Boris come home with us, but for the that's an image we could really wrap our lips schwinging stud Randy and Pete have booked we may around...ahem. have to make an exception. Maybe we'll take him to Luther's so he can eat before we do....was that my out- Speaking of lips, it looked like lips to us out at Pride Bar side voice? the other night, what with all the fab femmes on hand Meanwhile, out on Naco Perrin, we continue to tell you about all of the dee-lish dudes and dames that have made the nightspot so popular each weekend, and now Janice, who had popped into the Fairview fun house to we provide you with yet more photographic proof to be served up a really, REALLYhot breakfast by some of substantiate our claims. As much as we just adore the the Bayou City's most magnificent TGRA members. lovelinessof the ladies and the comeliness (tee heel of After downing a rasher of beef between them, the two the shirtless boy toy, we have to admit that our heart sat down with us to explain exactly what it is that has really been stolen by the handsome hunk in the Finally, we are pleased as makes the boffo breakfasts so wonderful. As if we had glasses that appears not to know which way to pumps to report that to ask...it's the MEN, babies. We're tired, after all, of turn....we, of course would be happy to show him. there's a new destination having our grand slams served-up by a bunch of little Regrettably, we were so overwhelmed by his charms on Sunday afternoons, and blue-haired old ladies... and eyewear that we completely forgot his and his that destination is right downtown at Suede Cohort's names. Hey, you go out there one night and Lounge, the hip and hap- And on that note...we'li gab atcha next week! see if YOU remember names.... penin' hotspot that's run by a South Beach native and attracts a bevy of buffed clad dancers one of the many night we partied our- Not for the faint of heart or easily aroused! beaus to tempt and tantalize us, both on the dance selves into the night to DJ's Chris Allen and Konrad's boxes and behind the bar. One such macho man is Popular tunes. We also caught Dane partaking of the Cockpit will play host to Curtis Anthony, Mr Gay Texas Damian, whose camo Calvins simply couldn't hide the newly clad in Lobo and Andrew Christian underwear USA (remember there are 2.. USAand USofA), at the enormity of his talent, but did look good on our heads Mr Gay Austin USA competition in a few weeks. Kelly after we managed to wrestle them away from him. We Kline will provide the ample coverage on the micro- also got the cross, but we have to share it with him phone and we would love to see David from The Guise three nights of the week and every other Saturday. The in a teeny weeny bikini.. We are excited to see what Calvins we get to keep... Kindell and the crew will bring to the Pageantry world! Mr Gay Austin USofAat Large will be held there by Mr Capitol CiTea Gay Texas at Large USofA.. hence our explanation.. The Party on 4th Street continues... international dance USA and USofA.. 2 different system, 2 different diva Pepper Mashay will be gracing the OCHstage for crowned heads at the top! Club Popular.Pepper is in town for South x Southwest, and being a dear friend of Oilcan Harry's - she was a Finally, when it is time to go home, the clubs are clos- must have for the hottest party in Austin! King of the ing.. and you just don't want to yet.. head over to MidTowne Spa - they are Austin, and Texas' 24 hour

wearing hunks. That grin tells it all.. Go on sister, inspect that size tag up close!

OK we will admit it, we love meat, despite the national recall over the many recent years.. we still love our beef. So we nosed around a few blocks here and there from the strip, and came across a fantastic little Cafe called Jo's - downtown. OKAYwe LOVEtheir pickles. So far we have had the Hamburger.. Roast Beef... Philly Nightlife, Larry ensured us that our cot is safe and Cheesesteaks, plus baskets and baskets of fries! The secure for the entire South x SOuthwest celebration, so ambience is soothing, a few restaurants lined up across we will be surfing on the Serta for the next several from posh boutiques - trendy condos above you, peo- Sabrina Ross,sister of Jacqui DeShawn, niece of Nicole weeks! We have been hanging out with Lobo tycoon ple walking their pooches (Howdy Dudley!) The only and distant cousin of Tragedy Ann. You can just stand thing we would love them to add would be sweet tea, on the strip in Austin and men just wander past.. sexy party place. No liquor, no BYOB.. but lots of handsome Hunny it is the South - we do things sweeter here! But hot, young, tender... men and facilities to impress. We got a work out right your pickle makes up for it all... there .. right there in the picture nest to the machine.. Speaking of Charlies, David continues with a delicious whatever that is used for! Oh Pepsi.. yeah had one of Feelingfull and now feisty we headed into RAIN on 4th, Cafe complete with all the southern-style basics. We those too! Ask Alfie and his team of employees what is where the handsome devil of of our sweet dreams, saw a salad named after him, at least we think it is.. in store for YOU next at MidTowne! Dave Santana hugged on Jonathan for our cruisey earn- don't wanna be tossing no salad.. ahem.. rumors out there!

BoyBar is preparing for a Spring Break celebration next week, tonight you can catch Simone Riviera and Saffire - Trinity and the fantastic Boy's Lube Wrestling. Simone

and man-about town, Enrique, recently along with the hunky David Perez and Heloisa, who has the most charming accent. We took a Hint from Heloisa, ahem, and hung out with the Andrew Christian Underwear

era. Bobby Cook and scantily-clad men hit the stage take it all off (almost.. hey we do things right!) on the Thursday amateur Strip show, and as we sit here enter- ing our "bloq", if you will.. we await the results of Nadine Hughes' Mr Gay Austin USofA competition. We have been bouncing through town on various nights of POsedwith Danny on their MySpace.. we are proudly the week, and dance to our delight when DJ Dallas is their friends, so are able to access such images! spinning. Plus one of the cardinal rules of raising a Rainbow Cattle Company is home to Boy Bar, in case ruckus at a gay club is simply this... Always remember you didn't know! Yeah boy, they get in a small pool, the doormen... they who keep the trouble out and hot- douse with lube from cheaplubes.com and have at it. Houston Clubs (AC: 281) Boss 1006 VFW Blvd 534-6600 EI Paso Churches (AC: 915) whrspers 226 First Street 359-2900 Brenda's 81 Bar 7811 New Old laredo Hwy 927-2337 MCC 900 Chelsea 591-4155 Cobalt 2022 McCullough 734-2244 ItlUIIII •• IU•.• \I '/" Houston Clubs (AC: 713) Encounters 4102 Naco Perrin 646-6833 EI Paso Clubs (AC: 915) 611 Hyde Park Pub 611 Hyde Park ~ II .1 I) ;1 'I ,~-,I'I _ ,j U II ,IU'II""""• ., I~ .~ ta •• ,. I~ 526-7070 Essence 1010 N. Main 223-5418 Briar Patch 508 N. Stanton 577-9555 Bartini 1318 Westheimer 526-2271 Heat 1500 N. Main 227-2600 _ • w _ ._ -~-- .-- ~-. Club101 500 San Francisco $44-2101 BrazosRiver Bottom 2400 Brazos 528-9192 Pegasus 1402 N. Main 299-4222 NewOld Plantation 301 S. Ochoa 533-6055 Chances 1100 Westheimer 523-7217 Pride Bar 119 EI Mia 320-7658 SanAntonio Mining Co800 E.San Antonio 533-9516 Club Big Yo 6305 Skyline 953-0268 Saint 1430 N. Main 225-7330 DignitOalias 5910 Cedar Springs Road 521-5342 Gay,Lesbian 8

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