‘Exercise coach’ helps Undeclared students show First Fridays showcase local physical therapy patients • A4 fiscal irresponsibility • A7 visual, performing arts • B8 SCITECH FORUM PILLBOX

thetartan.org @thetartan March 5, 2012 Volume 106, Issue 21 Carnegie Mellon’s student newspaper since 1906 Senate unanimously moves to impeach SBP emily dobler peach Flittner was “on the feeling wasn’t exactly new.” running for a student govern- Editor-in-Chief grounds of him not fulfilling Mark also said that Flittner ment position is a joke, and we his constitutional duties.” was not present at Thursday’s want to show people that that The Undergraduate Stu- Weiner added, “The general meeting to hear of the request is not the case. When there’s a dent Senate unanimously feeling is that [Senate] want- for impeachment. As presi- bad cog in the system, you get voted at its meeting Thursday ed to make a statement that dent, Flittner is required to at- to a point where it looks real night to hold impeachment student government is some- tend or send a representative bad for student government.” proceedings against Student thing that should be taken to every Senate meeting. Student Body Vice Presi- Body President Jake Flittner. seriously and should be held According to Mark, the dent Sangita Sharma, a junior The motion for impeachment accountable, and if people request for impeachment materials science and biomed- was made by Senator Jona- aren’t fulfilling their constitu- was not meant to humiliate ical engineering double major, than Mark, a junior drama tional duties, there should be Flittner, but to make a state- did not agree with how Stu- major. something done to rectify that ment about the seriousness of dent Senate members handled Senate Chair Will Weiner, situation.” student government positions. the situation. She felt that a junior social and decision Mark said that Flittner’s job “We’re not trying to hurt none of the Senate members sciences and statistics double as student body president was Jake,” he said. “Also, we’ve File photo by Alex Cooper Webster major, said the motion to im- “unsatisfactory” and that “the seen some people who think See Impeach, A3 Student Body President Jake Flittner may soon be impeached. TEDx brings luminaries to campus ETC, 31st Street Studios team up Brent Heard in 31st Street. It makes a lot Assistant News Editor of sense for us to partner up,” Haley said. The Entertainment Tech- The 31st Street Studios nology Center (ETC) an- facility resides in a large steel nounced a new partnership production building in the with 31st Street Studios, Strip district. The Pittsburgh Paramount on Location, and Business Times reported that Knight Vision Studios last the ETC will hold graduate Monday. The deal would classes in the facility in the bring a studio equipped for future. new motion-capture technol- The ETC itself will stay by ogy to 31st Street Studios. the Monongahela River, but Described by the Pitts- students will now have access burgh Post-Gazette as having to the 31st Street Studio facil- the potential to be the “best ities, which promise to house film and video production the largest soundstage out- facility for movies outside side of the Los Angeles area. Southern California,” this As Anthony Daniels, visit- partnership provides produc- ing ETC professor and voice tion opportunities for Carn- of C–3PO in the Star Wars

Jennifer Coloma/Staff egie Mellon ETC students, as film series, told Essential Stephen Neely, an artist lecturer in eurhythmics, pushes his 9-year-old son on a swing. According to Neely, the motion of a swing is much like the well as for the movie produc- Public Radio, “The Entertain- motion one makes when conducting an orchestra. tion companies in the areas. ment Technology Center is Mk Haley, associate ex- staying where it is on Tech- Jennifer Coloma for TEDxCMU. “Some of the used that to our advantage,” Erik Pintar, first-year elec- ecutive producer at the ETC, nology Drive, but we are go- Junior Staffwriter criticisms that we’ve got in the she said. trical and computer engi- described the new partner- ing to have a permanent pres- Madelyn Glymour past is that speakers kind of Junior guitar performance neering major, said he liked ship as “sort of a community ence here in the studio where News Editor gather around the same sub- major Jeesoo Sohn, TEDx- Neely’s talk. “The connection supporting each other.” students can come and work ject, but this year we’ve tried CMU’s president, said, “I he made about the swinging “We have a very long re- on their projects.” TEDxCMU presented at to really diversify.” told my team, ‘Who are your and the music: It helped con- lationship with some of the Carnegie Mellon for the third TEDx had thirteen speak- biggest inspirations in this nect a very natural moment in key people who have a stake See studios, A3 year in a row this past Sunday ers this year: Sahil Harlalka, world? Who do you look up childhood to what we see as in McConomy Auditorium. Ardon Shorr, Jay Whitacre, to? What blogs do you read?’ something so sophisticated,” TEDx stands for “indepen- John Riccitiello, Gil Taran, Obviously, they had to be con- Pintar said. “When the beau- dently organized TED event” Sean Ogle, Gala Darling, nected to Carnegie Mellon or ty really comes from natural and its goal is to share “ideas Razi Imam, Stephen Neely, Pittsburgh.” movement.” Evacuation smooth worth spreading.” Matthew Manos, Zach Wein- Each of the chosen speak- In the three years of TEDx- Every year, the event er, Jennifer Stock, and the ers had something to share CMU’s existence, Sohn said after bomb threat brings a diverse range of Threefifty Duo: guitarists with the audience. Imam, an that the event has grown a lot. speakers presenting their own Brett Parnell and Geremy innovator and entrepreneur, According to Sohn, TEDxCMU take on TEDx’s theme. This Schulick. shared the concept of engi- received over 1,100 applica- year, the theme was interpre- Savitskaya said that the neering luck for oneself. Ogle, tions from people hoping to tation. speakers were chosen based a lifestyle entrepreneur, went attend TEDx this year, more “We have a much higher on whom TEDxCMU team over the differences between than double McConomy’s ca- variety of speakers this year,” members were interested what he called the “Tradition- pacity. She said that this year’s said senior computational in. “It was a lot of individual al American Dream” and the TEDxCMU team is twice the biology major Judith Savits- interest, but we have a very “New American Dream.” Ogle size of last year’s. kaya, the head of publicity diverse team. So we kind of explained that people prefer Pintar said that he had unhappiness over uncertainty “watched a bit of TEDx” on- — uncertainty of what they line before and that they were want, of how to get what they “all really interesting and in- want — and so they stick to spirational and helped trans- the “Traditional American form knowledge and ideas Dream” of getting a job, hav- into meaningful experiences ing 2.5 children, and having for others.” the perfect house with a white He heard that TEDx would picket fence. be occurring on campus Jennifer Coloma/Staff “Ask yourself one thing: through his adviser. “As soon Police evacuated Warner Hall after a bomb threat last Monday. What do you want to do with as I saw it, I had to go,” Pintar your life?” Ogle said. “I know said. Jennifer Coloma Cyert Hall is connected to this is the cheesiest thing, but Meanwhile, Kyra Ceceris, Junior Staffwriter Warner Hall at the basement there are only seven days in a a research and development level. University Police did week, and ‘some day’ is not in engineer, learned about Police officers and em- not say why they evacuated it.” Ogle argued against not TEDxCMU through PopCity ployees in the buildings evac- employees of Warner Hall going after what you really Online. Ceceris, like Pintar, uated during a bomb threat to Cyert, only that they took want merely because of un- had seen the TEDx videos last Monday have different matters of campus safety very certainty. online, but she had never seen perspectives on how smooth- seriously. However, accord- Neely, an artist lecturer, them live before. ly the sweep went. ing to Lettia Denormandie, used a swing set and piano “I thought it would be a University Police received an enrollment services re- onstage during his talk. Neely good experience [to come] a bomb threat, via different ceptionist, there “was a slight had his son swing while he since they’re in Pittsburgh,” notes found in different loca- miscommunication” as to made an analogy of how the Ceceris said. “I enjoyed it ... tions on campus, at around how University Police and motion of a swing is similar to [but] since I work for biotech, 8:30 a.m. The threat targeted the Pittsburgh Bomb Squad the motion an orchestra con- it would be interesting to see both Warner Hall and Smith would conduct the search. ductor makes while conduct- something related to science.” Hall. About an hour later, “We thought that we were ing. Neely then played the pia- “When people come to any University Police evacuated supposed to wait until they no as the audience conducted. TED event, they’re excited the targeted buildings, and cleared all the other floors The general purpose of his about listening to that one the Pittsburgh Bomb Squad before we moved out,” De- talk was to convey a simple speaker,” Sohn said. “I think began a floor-by-floor search. normandie said. While some message: “The artful experi- most people learn most from “They didn’t say bomb employees in Warner Hall left ence is something to aspire the ones they weren’t excited threat. They said, ‘We need as soon as they were notified, to,” Neely said. “It’s some- about. It’s important to keep you to leave the building,’ others remained behind. thing that’s to be dynamic, to an open mind.” and they told us to go over University Police has a dif- be experienced, and you have All of the TEDxCMU talks to Cyert,” said Ruth Vojtko, a ferent perspective. According Jennifer Coloma/Staff to figure out what is the role in from the past three years are Warner Hall receptionist. “It to Lieutenant Gary Scheimer, Geremy Schulick, half of classical guitar duo Threefifty Duo, plays in that, and how are you able to available online to watch for wasn’t an alarming, ‘Quick, front of a series of films projected on a backdrop. find that experience.” free at tedxcmu.com. get out of here’ evacuation.” See Threat, A3 A2 « thetartan.org/news The Tartan » March 5, 2012

Campus news in brief Statistically Gingrich appoints Skinner CMU professor wins NSF to co-chair women’s board grant for census research Speaking Kiron Skinner has been political commentator Jeri Statistics and social sci- information for the public named by Newt Gingrich’s Thompson; prominent Re- ence professor Stephen and private sectors. With only one week left until spring break, many presidential campaign, Newt publican Gay Hart Gaines; Fienberg has been awarded “This grant program gives Carnegie Mellon students are pulling all-nighters to 2012, as the National Co- and Iowa State Representa- a research grant from the the Census Bureau and the cram for exams and complete projects. When spring Chair for the Women with tive Linda Upmeyer. National Science Founda- entire federal statistical sys- break rolls around, students will have a chance to catch Newt Coalition. Skinner is joining the tion (NSF) Census Bureau tem the opportunity to lever- up on some sleep. Until then, here are a few facts about Skinner is an associate coalition just in time to be Research Network. The NSF age the expertise of academia sleep and sleep deprivation: professor of social and deci- part of Newt 2012’s buildup awarded Fienberg the grant to solve problems we face sion sciences as well as di- to Super Tuesday on March to fund his project, “Data In- every day in delivering cost- rector of Carnegie Mellon’s 6, when many states will be tegration, Online Data Col- efficient statistics and infor- Center for International Re- having their primary elec- lection and Privacy Protec- mation to the public,” said lations and Politics. This ap- tions. A candidate can gain tion for the 2020 Census.” Robert Groves, director of 43.7 pointment is in addition to more votes on this day than Fienberg will research the the Census Bureau, in a uni- The percent of adults, aged 18 to 24, who reported having fallen her position as foreign policy any other, making it a critical costs and response rates of versity press release. “This asleep unintentionally at least once in the last month adviser to the campaign, part of a bid for the chance to census investigation, as well research is an investment which she has held since No- run for the presidency. as citizen privacy. He and that will lead to cost savings, vember of last year. Skinner said in a univer- his research team will con- and we are excited about the She will be joined on the sity press release that she is duct these experiments in an possibilities for learning from board by Gingrich’s wife, Cal- a longtime supporter of Gin- effort to increase response our colleagues and for col- 33 lista Gingrich; his daughters, grich and is impressed by rates. laboration over the next five The percent of U.S. adults who get fewer than seven Jackie Gingrich Cushman his understanding of issues In addition, the team’s years.” hours of sleep per night and Kathy Gingrich Lubbers; of particular importance to research will attempt to find former president of the Na- women, including national methods that will ensure Compiled by tional Federation of Repub- security, the economy, and citizens’ confidentiality while justin mcgown 11 days lican Women, Sue Lynch; education. still producing useful census madelyn glymour The longest recorded time a person has gone without sleep Feature Photo 15 minutes KGB holds spring Capture the Flag with Stuff The difference between the lengths of an average high school student’s sleep before and after Daylight Savings Time

Sources: cdc.gov, news.bbc.co.uk, seattletimes.nwsource.com, and Compiled by online.wsj.com madelyn glymour Lecture Preview From Petals to Pixels: experience with the Foreign Rob Kesseler Service: Both of her parents Monday at 4:30 p.m. were members, and she grew Gregg Hall (Porter Hall 100) up attending local schools in Moscow and Berlin dur- Rob Kesseler, professor ing the Cold War. Jones later of ceramic art and design at became a member of the For- Central Saint Martins College eign Service herself, serving of Art and Design in London, as ambassador to Kazakhstan will lecture on “The Art & Sci- for three years in the late ence of Messing Around with 1990s, and later serving as Plants.” Kesseler has previ- Assistant Secretary of State ously published Pollen: The for Europe and Eurasia to Hidden Sexuality of Flowers, Colin Powell under the Bush written with Madeline Har- administration. ley, and Seeds: Time Capsules of Life, written with Wolf- gang Stuppy. The lecture will The Dickson Prize Award cover the past 12 years of his Presentation and Lecture artwork and the processes Thursday at 4:30 p.m. he used to create it. Kesseler McConomy Auditorium has used digital photography, scanning electron microgra- The Dickson Prize in Sci- phy, and ink drawings to pro- ence will be awarded to Alan Vangpat/Senior Staff duce his works. Marvin L. Cohen, a physics Students assembled in Wean Hall and Doherty Hall to play KGB’s spring semester game of Capture the Flag with Stuff on Friday night. Capture the professor at the University Flag with Stuff combines traditional elements of capture the flag with additional tokens — separated into “potions,” belts, and wands — that give of California, Berkeley, who players special abilities. Orville M. Winsand will give a lecture at the cer- Lecture emony. The Dickson Prize in Tuesday at 5 p.m. science is awarded by Carn- Kresge Theater, egie Mellon to the person in Campus Crime & Incident Reports College of Fine Arts the United States regarded to have made the most sig- to why he was on campus. He The Curator of Film at Tate Theft Vehicle Stop Theft nificant progress in science was given a defiant trespass Modern, Stuart Comer, will Feb. 25, 2012 Feb. 27, 2012 Feb. 27, 2012 in the past year. It has a sister warning. discuss his work for the Tate medal for excellence in medi- A Carnegie Mellon gradu- University Police initiated During routine patrol, a Collection, where he oversees cine awarded by the Univer- ate student reported the theft a motor vehicle stop of a mo- Carnegie Mellon security of- film and video work. Comer sity of Pittsburgh. of a new pedometer valued at torcycle on Forbes Avenue for ficer found that a vending Theft also organizes a diverse array Cohen is one of the most $100 from his office in Wean speeding. During the stop, the machine on the first floor of March 1, 2012 of screenings, performances, cited authors of papers in Hall between the hours of officer found that the driver the Purnell Center had been and events. He edited the the field of physics and was 3:30 p.m. and 7:30 p.m. There was under suspension. The damaged. The damage oc- University Police were book Film and Video Art, and a president of the American was no sign of forced entry motorcycle was towed and the curred between 9:30 p.m. called to take a report con- has contributed essays to the Physical Society. He currently into the office. This incident is driver was cited. and 9:50 p.m. It could not be cerning a student who had left books of numerous other art- leads a materials research under investigation. determined if any money had his backpack in Newell-Simon ists. He has also spent time group at UC Berkeley. been stolen from the machine. Hall. The student reported as a member of film festival Cohen will speak about Theft The vending company was that when he returned to re- juries, including the 2010 the troubles that Albert Ein- Alcohol Amnesty Feb. 27, 2012 contacted. claim it, it was gone. His pass- Venice Film Festival and the Feb. 26, 2012 port, student visa, and laptop stein had in his attempts to While on a routine patrol British Film Institute’s 50th were all missing. This case is gain approval for his thesis At approximately 5 a.m., of Hamburg Hall, Univer- London Film Festival. research on condensed mat- Suspicious Persons still under investigation. University Police were sum- sity Police were stopped by Feb. 29, 2012 ter. moned to Morewood Gardens a Carnegie Mellon graduate Cohen will also address At approximately 6 a.m., Ambassador A. Elizabeth regarding an unconscious student who wanted to file a Fire Alarm the possible implications of male student. It was deter- theft report. The student left University Police were called Jones March 1, 2012 this background for recent to Margaret Morrison Street Tuesday at 4:30 p.m. mined that the male was in- her wallet in the women’s re- work in nanoscience, photo- in front of Margaret Morrison Steinberg Auditorium toxicated. No one on scene stroom in Hamburg Hall, and At 2:50 a.m., University voltaics, and superconductiv- Plaza for a suspicious male (Baker Hall A53) could provide any informa- she was later notified that it Police and the Pittsburgh Fire ity. Cohen will explain that tion on what the student had was turned in to the Univer- who was possibly smoking Department responded to a Ambassador A. Elizabeth while Einstein believed a the- consumed. The student was sity Center information desk. marijuana. The officers did Hunt Library fire alarm. The Jones will address develop- oretical explanation in these transported to Presbyterian When she retrieved her wal- not see anyone fitting the de- elevator motor malfunctioned ments in the Middle East, fields might never be found, Hospital by Pittsburgh EMS. let, she found that all of her scription. A pedestrian was and was filling the elevator specifically the success of the he may have been wrong. No citations were issued, as credit cards and ID were pres- stopped to see if he had seen shaft and penthouse with U.S. in creating a “diplomatic Carnegie Mellon’s Alcohol ent, but about $100 in cash the suspicious male. The pe- smoke. The library was closed surge” in Afghanistan. Compiled by Amnesty program applied. had been taken. This matter is destrian began acting oddly for approximately two hours Jones has had extensive justin mcgown under investigation. and gave false information as following the incident.

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Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday High / Low High / Low High / Low High / Low High / Low 47 / 34 60 / 46 56 / 46 46 / 32 40 / 33 Source: www.weather.com March 5, 2012 « The Tartan thetartan.org/news » A3 Class registration system Flittner faces impeachment Impeach, from A1 During the impeachment pen to make everything run proceedings, Weiner and GSA smoother next semester.” to move from OLR to SIO was up-front in communicat- President Jason Imbrogno, Despite the motion for im- ing their dissatisfaction with a Ph.D. student in econom- peachment, Sharma remains checking will be transferred for all courses at once and if Kechun mao Flittner. ics, can appoint a member of optimistic. “I am not sure Staffwriter to SIO. there is a waitlist for a course, “I respect them for trying the student body to fulfill the where we will go from here,” In addition, students will the student will immediately to set a higher standard for president’s duties. Weiner and she said via email, “but I am Online Registration (OLR), no longer need to type indi- be recommended an alter- future student government Imbrogno appointed Sharma looking forward to improving the site where students reg- vidual course numbers when nate open section or required executive members, but over- ister for their courses every registering. Instead, students course that fits their schedule. all I just wish they went about semester, will be replaced by will now be able to load This would necessitate a link it in a different way,” Sharma “It is clear that confusion and new registration features on planned schedules to the reg- between SIO and the stu- said via email. “I guess this is Student Information Online istration page and click the dent’s academic audit.” a personal thing, but I am a miscommunication exist....” (SIO) this March. “add” button to register for Students’ opinions about confrontational person, so if In addition to planning each course. OLR and expectations of the I do not agree with the way schedules, students will be “What we are trying to do new system are varied. —Jake Flittner someone is working then I able to use SIO to view their is to give students more infor- “The OLR system is hor- Student Body President will address them personally assigned registration times; mation that supports the reg- ribly inconvenient and terri- before I make it public.” to register, add, drop, and istration process,” Papinchak bly difficult to manage,” Zac According to the Student to that position Thursday relations between Senate and switch courses; and to man- said. Vennard, a senior interna- Body Constitution, a request night, and she accepted. In student government execu- age waitlist activity. However, more sophisti- tional relations major, said in for impeachment requires a the event that Flittner leaves tive members.” Sharma plans OLR was initiated in 1997, cated changes might happen an email. “So I’m glad we’re three-fourths supermajority office through impeachment to support Flittner during the according to University Regis- in future semesters. A long- pitching it.” vote at a Student Senate or or resignation, Sharma can impeachment process. trar John Papinchak. He said term goal, Papinachak said, Junior finance major Alice a Graduate Student Assem- serve officially as student “After reading Jon Mark’s that one of the driving forces is one-button registration, in Jun, however, takes a differ- bly (GSA) meeting, or a peti- body president. “Jake is not explanation for Senate’s deci- behind the changes to SIO which students would only ent attitude. tion signed by 500 students. entirely gone, but essentially, sion, it is clear that confusion was that, when Enrollment need to click one button to “I like OLR a lot. It is very The unanimous Senate vote his powers are suspended,” and miscommunication exists Services last updated SIO, a register for all of their courses functional and it is easy for means that, unless Flittner Weiner said. “From my knowl- [sic] since certain points are number of students suggested once they have their sched- me to use,” she said. “But it resigns, impeachment hear- edge of student government, entirely unfounded,” Flittner modernizing OLR by incorpo- ules planned. will be nice that we will move ings will be held at a joint [impeachment] has not previ- said in an email. “If Senate rating it into SIO. Christine Gilchrist, an aca- to SIO so that we can take care meeting of Senate and GSA. ously happened.” Exec would have come to me Papinchak explained a few demic adviser in the Mellon of everything on one website. The meeting will take place Mark, reflecting on the personally about the matter features that students can ex- College of Science, expressed Maybe if we have some auto- within three weeks, and a outcome for the remainder I know that several of their pect from the new SIO regis- the same wish. Gilchrist wrote matic thing where it will auto- three-fourths supermajority of the semester, said, “I don’t points of contention would tration system. in an email, “An item on my matically register the courses vote from both Student Sen- know if we’re going to see have become entirely mute First, the basic functions of wish list is a feature that will we plan. If they could do that ate members and GSA mem- very visible things on campus [sic].” OLR such as section switch, allow students to use their for us, that would be pretty bers will result in Flittner’s this rest of the semester, but He urged students to go to course switch, and waitlist planned schedule to register awesome.” removal from office. policy changes might hap- cmusenate.org for updates. Studios come to Strip District Studios, from A1 get people walking in place, the marvelous talent you have jumping, climbing things, here in this town.” Current ETC master’s stu- throwing a punch.” Alzayer Alzayer said that ETC dent Noah Alzayer is working said that he is pitching this students are excited about on a pitch for a project that project for the fall semester, the deal, and the technol- will utilize the new resources and has spoken to Knight Vi- ogy which they will be able available to him through this sion founder James Knight re- to work with. “There are lots partnership. garding project space. Knight of cool new things about the “Our project that we’re Vision was another key part- system, and it eliminates a lot talking about is making an ner in the deal. They are nota- of the problems that come up ongoing motion capture data ble for having worked on the with motion capture,” Alzayer base similar to the graph- visuals in James Cameron’s said. “It’s kind of exciting, the ics lab one, except we would Avatar, and will provide mo- sort of new technology that make it a little more usable in tion capture and digital pro- we’ll have access to. It’s defi- practical ways,” Alzayer said. duction services. nitely inspired people to think “On the average motion cap- Knight told Essential Pub- about projects to do with it.” ture database you get some- lic Radio, “We’re very excited thing like two people dancing about coming to Pittsburgh, Editor’s note: Junior staffwriter because of tax incentive, be- Jennifer Coloma contributed to Juan Fernandez/Staff together or walking around, whereas we’d be trying to cause of CMU, and because of this article. Warner employees recount bomb threat experiences Threat, from A1 student sent a package to ad- versity Police and the Pitts- missions. One of the workers burgh Bomb Squad handled the search went very well. He opened the package and saw the situation. However, they said that this was one of the a flashing light. “[It was] a do agree that the police did a smoothest searches he has little bizarre for us,” Vojtko good job of keeping people ever been involved with. said. Warner Hall took the calm. “We had cooperation with incident seriously and evacu- “I didn’t see anybody hys- multiple agencies, and the ated to the University Center terical or anything, so I think cooperation with staff and until the police arrived. in some respect, the police students was amazing. We “That was a quick kind of didn’t get us over-alarmed or were able to take care of it evacuation,” Vojtko said. She anything. I think in that re- in a very short time and get said that the evacuation of spect it was handled okay,” back to business,” Scheimer Warner Hall, this time, “was Vojtko said. Juan Fernandez/Staff said. a very strange evacuation of a “We just want everybody This bomb scare remind- building if there was a bomb to be observant of their sur- ed Warner Hall employees scare.” roundings,” Scheimer said. of a past incident in which a Warner Hall employees “And if they see anything sus- waitlisted computer science are split as to how well Uni- picious, to report it.”

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Courtesy of katerha on Flickr A4 « thetartan.org/scitech The Tartan » March 5, 2012

New ‘exercise coach’ will help physical therapy patients Michael Setzer erometers and gyroscopes that suggestions that the “exercise Staffwriter track the patient’s movement. coach” would make to help the The sensors then wirelessly patient improve. Using a program with a connect to the computer and Although Taylor and Al- personalized user interface give feedback to the patient meida were able to program that tracks movement wire- regarding how accurately the the system with solutions to lessly and gives a score with exercises were performed. common exercise mistakes, it feedback may soon become To give accurate feedback, was impossible to record ev- a reality for physical therapy the computer refers to stored ery way a patient could per- patients. This isn’t the newest information on how to cor- form the exercise incorrectly. Wii game, however. Instead, rectly perform an exercise To solve this problem, Taylor it’s the work of researchers and how to fix incorrect pro- implemented machine learn- from Carnegie Mellon and the cedures. The computer gives ing. With this programming, University of Pittsburgh help- the machine is able to learn ing patients with knee osteo- the different ways to solve an arthritis. “It will say incorrect exercise as it is in Osteoarthritis (OA) is a something like, use. disease that affects millions “If a new error comes in of people, especially among you need to that is slightly different than older generations. According keep your torso all the rest it’s seen ... it knows to the Centers for Disease Con- how to correct it,” Taylor said. trol and Prevention, nearly forward; you’re “The system says, ‘OK, I’ll cor- one in two people will develop rect this and make note of the some form of OA in their life- at a 45-degree what the error was,’ so this times. angle, you need becomes error number 156 or Portia Taylor, a Ph.D. stu- whatever.” dent in the department of bio- to be at 60.” In addition to giving feed- medical engineering, is lead- back, the computer has a da- ing the research for a digital —Portia Taylor tabase that stores all of the “exercise coach” designed to information from the patient’s help patients with OA maxi- Ph.D. student exercises. Physical therapists mize their physical therapy can access this information exercises and avoid injury. She specific instructions to the pa- at any time, allowing them to presented her research at the tients immediately after they keep track of their patients 2012 International Consumer complete the exercise. even after they’ve left the Electronics Show. “It will say something like, hospital. The program can According to Taylor, there you need to keep your torso also monitor declines in ex- is a definite need for the “exer- forward; you’re at a 45-degree ercise performance and send cise coach.” angle, you need to be at 60,” notifications to physical thera- “A majority of patients are Taylor said. pists. just sent home with paper in- To make it all work, Taylor There is currently noth- structions and pictures, and needed the help of a University ing like the digital “exercise Jennifer Coloma/Staff they self-report back to the of Pittsburgh Ph.D. student coach” available in America. Portia Taylor, a Ph.D. student in the department of biomedical engineering, has worked to develop an “exercise therapist,” she said. This can in physical therapy, Gustavo Although there are recre- coach” that gives physical therapy patients with osteoarthritis feedback and suggestions on their exercises. lead to patients performing Almeida, who watched video ational games that use similar exercises wrong and physical after video of people doing sensors, Taylor said that there more, the “exercise coach” is ing and get the product into played soccer and danced all therapists questioning the va- exercises and documented the is no such system that aids in aimed to be more precise in the marketplace. She hopes my life, so I’m predisposed to lidity of their patients’ reports. mistakes they were making. physical therapy exercises. movement tracking and feed- to have the product available OA,” Taylor said. “It’s really To use the digital “exercise “From that, we get this big “I can play my Xbox Ki- back than typical games. within five years. To many pa- fun developing something coach,” the patient straps on set of errors that we’re look- nect and then stop after three The product isn’t available tients, the product may be a that I’m going to probably a soft, brace-like pad to their ing for, and the idea is to train weeks, and presumably noth- for use yet, as it is still in the big help in their exercises. need, my family will prob- knee and completes his or her the system to detect those er- ing would happen to me. But testing phases. However, Tay- For Taylor, the research ably need, my friends will exercises as normal. The sen- rors,” Taylor said. Almeida [my motion] doesn’t depend lor has plans to create a start- also has a personal element. probably need. It’s just ... far sors in the padding have accel- then helped Taylor implement on it,” Taylor said. Further- up that would serve to aid test- “It’ll help a lot of people. I reaching.” Improving animation: Details of facial expressions are key Ligia Nistor At Carnegie Mellon, Tru- on how fast the corners of the Junior Staffwriter toiu started looking at how lips move up, how long the Parkinson’s disease patients smile is kept at the maximum In the past 10 years, eight moved with or without their amplitude, and how fast it is computer-animated filmsdeep brain stimulators turned released. have been deemed Best Ani- on. These neurostimulators mated Feature at the Acad- are devices implanted in the “When we see emy Awards, according to the patients’ brains that control Academy Awards Database. tremors. Trutoiu measured a computer- Computer animation has be- the patients’ movements, come more realistic in the such as how much the spine generated past decade, and some of the swayed when the patients animation, work contributing to those were walking, to quantify the advances has been done here improvements that the brain we as humans at Carnegie Mellon. stimulator provided. can pick up “I am interested in the Later, Trutoiu’s research small motions of the face that shifted to focus on the gen- immediately if can add a high degree of re- eration of facial animations. something is alism and improve the qual- Trutoiu explained that the ity of animations,” said Laura process of creating a com- wrong.” Trutoiu, a fourth-year Ph.D. puter-animated movie, such student in the Robotics In- as Toy Story, has a few steps. stitute. Her research focuses First, a sketch artist draws —Laura Trutoiu on computer graphics with snapshots of the main scenes Ph.D. student an emphasis on facial ani- in the movie. The characters mation. Her goal is to model are then modeled in a com- Trutoiu uses data obtained the subtle facial movements puter using three-dimensional from high-resolution vid- that bring to life animated representations. Textures and eos of moving faces. These characters. lighting are applied to the im- videos show 250 frames per Trutoiu’s research is inter- ages, adding realism to the second and appear in slow disciplinary, and thus calls for surfaces. motion, as opposed to a nor- collaboration from multiple Then the animators come mal video, which has 30 to fields. Her Ph.D. adviser, Jes- in. Trutoiu works with the 60 frames per second. Ap- sica Hodgins, is a professor animators, using her research pearance models then look in the Robotics Institute and to complement their work. at the face as a whole, check the department of computer She uses videos and images of for localized video informa- science. Trutoiu also col- humans to track and measure tion, and observe shape and laborates with Jeffrey Cohn, facial movements. She is then appearance changes, all the a professor of psychology at able to generate robust algo- while taking copious mea- the University of Pittsburgh, rithms that predict how dif- surements over time. and Iain Matthews, a senior ferent parts in the face should “Over time, the computer research scientist at Disney be moving. builds a shape model and an Research Pittsburgh. “When we see a computer- appearance model,” Trutoiu Trutoiu holds a bachelor generated animation, we as said. “It uses those to figure of arts in computer science humans can pick up immedi- out what is the expected posi- from Mount Holyoke Col- ately if something is wrong,” tion for that corner of the lip lege in Massachusetts. She Trutoiu said, emphasizing in the next frame.” started conducting research the importance of accurately The proper facial expres- in a virtual reality lab at modeling facial expressions. sions are generated by the Mount Holyoke. “That’s when Currently, Trutoiu studies right position, velocity, and I got hooked on research,” she the movements associated acceleration of specific points said. with smiling. on the face, producing a more Movement has always been “My categorization is be- realistic animation. a common theme in Trutoiu’s tween spontaneous and non- “The final goal of this research. As an undergradu- spontaneous smiles,” she research is to be able to tell ate summer intern at the Uni- said. A spontaneous smile animators or artists, when versity of Utah, she researched is triggered automatically, you have a sequence of some- the illusion of self-motion: while a posed smile has a one smiling, this is how the How to induce the feeling of grin-like appearance. cheeks should be raised, movement in a person who is Whether a smile is per- how the lips should actually in a driving simulator. ceived as genuine depends stretch,” Trutoiu said. March 5, 2012 « The Tartan thetartan.org/scitech » A5

How Things Work Dehydration, buildup of toxins contribute to hangovers Niharika Singh also tend to weigh less and ume of liquids it gains by con- at the same time the alcohol severe hangover. Alcohol can mended by experts as surefire Staffwriter have more body fat than men, suming alcohol. This dehydra- starts to wear off. also irritate the stomach lin- ways to lessen their severity. which means more alcohol tion is responsible for the dry Some people like to con- ing; this can lead to nausea Not consuming alcohol on an The much-dreaded hang- gets into their bloodstream in mouth that is one of the clas- sume alcohol while also con- and pain. empty stomach, staying hy- over, which usually follows a shorter amount of time. sic symptoms of a hangover. suming other drugs, such as Many urban legends exist drated, taking multivitamins, heavy alcohol consumption The Mayo Clinic, a medical In addition, the brain shrinks nicotine. This can cause the about foods (like bacon sand- and getting enough rest are and yields nausea or dizzi- practice and research group slightly due to the lack of hy- alcohol to act in a more po- wiches) that can eliminate all all ways to make the morning ness, is referred to in various focused on specialized health dration, causing headaches. tent way and usually results in hangover symptoms, but only after a night of heavy drinking parts of the world as “carpen- care, says that people with a Alcohol also adds toxins the drinker suffering a more a few methods are recom- more bearable. ter in forehead,” “made of rub- family history of alcoholism, to the body that can build up ber,” or “hair ache,” accord- or those who drink while they and cause headaches, even ing to The Independent News. are hungry or sleep deprived, vomiting. Certain kinds of al- Although the possibility of a are more strongly affected by cohols, usually those darker hangover doesn’t usually stop alcohol than others. In addi- in color, contain compounds people from going out and en- tion, people who do not regu- called congeners used to add joying themselves when alco- larly consume large amounts color and flavor. Unfortunate- hol is involved, most drinkers of alcohol tend to be more sus- ly, these compounds are also probably wouldn’t complain ceptible to its effects. known to cause severe hang- if someone were to come up overs. with a hangover cure. The fatigue associated with However, the chances of a The brain a hangover is a direct result of cure being invented soon are alcohol confusing the body’s slim. There are several ethical shrinks slightly internal clock. Alcohol makes issues involved in testing any due to the lack people feel sleepy by changing such cure on humans, which the levels of the chemicals in makes it very hard for anyone of hydration, their bodies that are responsi- to come up with a hangover- causing ble for keeping them alert. The curing drug. For now, the best body overcompensates when way to suffer less from hang- headaches. alcohol leaves it, and produces overs is to learn more about more stimulants than neces- them. sary, leading to poor sleeping One way to lessen the im- But what is it about alco- patterns and ultimately fa- pact of a hangover is to drink hol that leads to hangovers? It tigue. less, especially if you are turns out that alcohol acts in The human body may un- more susceptible to them. several ways to create discom- dergo withdrawal when the According to IMPACT Maga- fort in the human body. effects of alcohol start to wear zine, women usually fall into Headaches from hangovers off, causing people to feel this category because they are usually the result of dehy- shaky or dizzy from hang- produce glutathione, the en- dration. Alcohol dehydrates overs. Many people also like to zyme responsible for clearing the body by causing it to pro- mix their alcohol with sugary the body of alcohol’s toxins, duce more urine — in fact, drinks, which only makes the in lesser quantities and more alcohol can cause the body to withdrawal effect worse as the slowly than men do. Women lose nearly four times the vol- body comes off its sugar high Samantha Ward/Staff

Scitech Briefs Artificial womb lets Memory chip uses NASA falls victim Despite mid-age Jurassic fleas eight Space tourism scientists observe light, not electricity, to numerous cyber- slump, elderly times larger than company tests new embryonic growth to store data attacks people sleep best modern fleas spaceship A team of researchers at the Researchers at a Japanese NASA was the victim of 47 A telephone survey of more A fossil of a prehistoric flea Virgin Galactic, a space University of Nottingham in telecom company have built sophisticated cyber-attacks than 150,000 adults suggested from the Jurassic era was re- tourism company under the the United Kingdom have cre- an optical random access in 2011, according to a re- that, aside from a slight de- cently uncovered in China. At Virgin Group corporation, ated a new device made from memory (o-RAM) chip that port the agency released last cline during a person’s 40s, 20.6 millimeters (nearly one is aiming to test fly its new soft polymers that mimics uses light, rather than electric- week. These attacks have al- sleep quality on the whole ac- inch), the 165-million-year- SpaceShipTwo spacecraft this the mammalian uterus. With ity, to store data. Each mem- lowed hackers to gain unau- tually gets better with age. The old flea was eight times big- year. Commercial suborbital this technology, researchers ory cell in the o-RAM is a na- thorized access to employee study, conducted by research- ger than the modern flea, and passenger service will give are now able to continuously noscale light-capturing crystal credentials, the control sys- ers at the University of Penn- still manages to dwarf even riders a few minutes, at an observe the growth of embry- capable of channeling light tems of NASA’s Jet Propulsion sylvania’s Center for Sleep and the largest living flea, which altitude of about 68 miles, to onic cells outside of the womb in very small spaces. Varying Laboratory, and the secu- Circadian Neurobiology, fo- comes in at only 12.6 millime- experience zero gravity and through to the eighth day of the intensity of light through rity codes used to operate the cused on asking a large sample ters. These prehistoric fleas view the Earth set against the development, a huge improve- the chip allows each crystal International Space Station, of randomly selected people also had vicious, straw-like backdrop of outer space. The ment from the previous four- to switch between transparent among other things. In total, questions about the qual- mouths with serrated edges service could commence as day limit that forced scientists and opaque states, modeling the agency reported 5,408 ity of their sleep. Since these — perfect for biting into the soon as next year, company to return these cells back to zeroes and ones. incidents that “resulted in responses were mostly the hides of the dinosaurs they officials said last week. Nearly the mother’s womb. While the technology is the installation of malicious opinions of the participants lived on. 500 customers have signed up Because of this technol- still a ways off from use in software on or unauthorized involved, researcher Michael “It really appears as though for these $200,000 rides in the ogy, scientists are able to di- conventional desktop ma- access to its systems” in both Grandner offered a possible they were specialized for work- six-passenger, two-pilot ship. rectly observe the continuing chines, researchers are hoping 2010 and 2011. explanation for the data. ing their way into some heavy “We would like to be the changes in embryos after four that it can help speed up the These developments come “Even if sleep among older hides, such as those on dina- first to do this, but we’re not in days, including the crucial sluggish performance of inter- at an unfortunate time for Americans is actually worse saurs,” Michael Engel, a co- a race with anyone,” chief test formation of the head. This net switches that manage traf- NASA, as Americans continue than in younger adults, feel- author of the study, said in an pilot David Mackay said. “This breakthrough is part of a larg- fic between high-volume serv- to assess the roles the expen- ings about [sleep quality] still interview with New Scientist. is not a Cold War-era space er effort at the university to ers, since light travels much sive agency should or should improve with age,” he said. Unlike modern fleas, however, race.” learn how the development of faster than electric signals. not play in future explorations the prehistoric flea had poorly the human embryo can teach of the final frontier. Source: BBC developed legs, and thus was Source: Reuters researchers methods for re- Source: Wired magazine incapable of jumping. pairing the human body. Source: CNN Compiled by Source: New Scientist, Benjamin Madueme Source: Science Daily International Business Times A6 « thetartan.org/forum The Tartan » March 5, 2012

From the Editorial Board Like spinach, classical music builds muscles Erin Yanacek hits on YouTube, while Ludwig Van Junior Staffwriter Beethoven’s most popular compo- sition, “Symphony No. 9,” has less It’s time to go. You are seven than 18 million? years old, it’s 4:25 p.m. on a Tues- The answer is often that popular day, and you are begrudgingly ty- music is more easily digestible. To- ing your shoe laces as your mom day’s fast-paced age of quick grati- herds you out the door. This can fication does not prepare us well to only mean one thing: piano lessons. reap the benefits of the classics. You arrive and plunk through your scales for half an hour. When the torture is complete, mom bundles Why choose you up and takes you away, only to classical music? start the weekly cycle once again. By now, we have matured far Why not get our fix beyond mandatory music lessons — from Guitar Hero? no more itchy formal wear or ogling grandparents to worry about. We can choose how to spend our time For example, “I Wanna Go” is — and if we choose to involve our- 3 1/2 minutes long. A performance selves in classical music, there are of Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony many benefits we can gain. lasts over an hour. Unless an audi- So, why choose classical music? ence member wants an expensive Why not get our music fix from Gui- nap, he or she will need an apt atten- tar Hero and Britney Spears? The tion span for the Beethoven. Juan Fernandez/Staff difference between these popular Once listeners learn to appreciate musical outlets and classical mu- classical works, they will be richly sic can seem elusive. However, as rewarded. Beethoven’s music is truly Senate, GSA should remove SBP Flittner from office a classical musician, I like to think ingenious in its complexity, and the Undergraduate Student Senate body throughout Carnegie Mellon’s branches of student government to that there is something intrinsically figurative pictures that it paints in unanimously voted to start the im- Pittsburgh campus. collaborate with and draw resources valuable in the tradition. the mind of attentive listeners have peachment process against Student Flittner has not even convened from. Of course Spears has a certain the potential to inspire a wiser, more Body President Jake Flittner last his cabinet this semester and was ab- The fact that Flittner has not appeal, but it’s doubtful that her lyr- cultured, and more artistic life. Thursday. Based on the lack of initia- sent from the meeting at which Sen- used any of these resources over ics and melodies communicate the Mom was right, as usual. tives and projects coming out of the ate voted to begin the impeachment the course of his term is shocking. indescribable beauty and pain of the Whether it’s by performing or by at- executive branch, we support this process. His campaign promises from 2011 human condition that classical mu- tending concerts, eat your spinach decision. When anyone is in a leader- remain unfulfilled and leave us un- sic does. So why does Spears’ song and listen to your classical music. It’s According to Senate’s official ship role, especially one as large as inspired. Where is the Cultural Di- “I Wanna Go” have over 80 million good for you. blog, the main reason for the move the student body president, he or versity Honors Program promised to to impeach was that Flittner was she must take that role seriously. A us during his campaign? Where are not fulfilling his presidential du- leader must have the time and vi- the “Friday Frenzies” that campus ties as outlined in the Student Body sion to lead, recognizing when help eagerly awaited? Public needs to realize Constitution. from others is needed to carry out Campaign promises to the cam- According to senate members, he his visions. It’s understandable that pus community have been forgotten, has failed to regularly attend Sen- Flittner might be busy; for most and promises to Student Senate to autism has two faces ate, Graduate Student Assembly Carnegie Mellon students, busy is a increase transparency and commu- (GSA), and Faculty Senate meet- way of life. nication between branches of gov- people. It is impossible to deny that ings. Flittner has also failed to hold But that is why the president has ernment have also been ignored. both living with autism and raising and advertise monthly office hours, an entire cabinet of carefully selected Flittner’s glaring lack of action has a child with autism are emotionally attend and chair Student Govern- people to support and carry out his forced this impeachment process. and financially taxing. However, to ment Executive Committee and visions. That is why the president Now, perhaps positive changes can deny the nature of autism would be Board of Directors meetings, and fa- has Student Senate, faculty mem- be made and student government an immense disservice to the autis- cilitate representation of the student bers, advisers, GSA, and all the other can get back on track. Matt Mastricova tic community. While there are some people The diagnosis of autism has with autism who will never be able S chools should teach computational thinking earlier evolved from a rare, unknown sub- to speak or use a bathroom, there set of schizophrenia into a spectrum are also some who attend school We agree with Jeannette Wing, from finding all of the divisors of a greater flexibility and confidence in of learning disorders, which include and are merely seen as “quirky.” head of Carnegie Mellon’s computer number to creating a language pro- developing new solutions to emerg- social and behavioral impairments. There are probably many students science department, in regard to her cessing system like Apple’s Siri. ing social problems. These disorders have captured the in the Carnegie Mellon community article in the Pittsburgh Tribune-Re- The nature of computational and Schools could implement chang- attention of nearly every demo- who have been diagnosed with an view, which calls for a national pri- algorithmic thinking — two corner- es to curricula simply by gearing graphic in the United States; how- autism spectrum disorder. Due to ority to be put on teaching computer stones of programming — allows it more lessons towards computational ever, this does not mean that the the behavioral impairments that science. We should start teaching the to be easily integrated into school thinking. Teachers could present implications of autism diagnoses are autism causes, individuals with foundations and thinking patterns curricula. At some level, children problems to students (like reorder- well understood. high-functioning autism are often of computer programming in high already think computationally and ing the school’s lunch line to maxi- While programs such as 60 Min- misunderstood and generally unac- school, middle school, and even el- algorithmically. If a child has a par- mize efficiency, or developing a utes and 20/20 have done excellent cepted by their peers. The general ementary school. ticular way of sorting and putting system to sort the tallest to shortest jobs at raising awareness of the lives absence of their portrayal in the me- Teaching the foundations of pro- away Legos so they can be found student in class) to bolster thinking of children with severe autism, the dia does not assist the difficulties gramming early is a good way to more easily, that child is using com- processes. almost exclusive media coverage on they have interacting with a com- create both jobs and technologically putational thinking. Schools teach As our society becomes increas- those individuals has resulted in the munity of peers. savvy citizens. Programming teaches this sort of thinking on a basic level, ingly reliant on computing and pro- obfuscation of children with high- This plurality should be more a person to think algorithmically and but by integrating it even more into gramming, our schools should take functioning autism and adults with emphasized in our society. If chil- to apply that thinking in real-world lesson plans, math problem sets, and steps to prepare students for the autism. dren are exposed to information situations. These include everything activities, students can gain even digital age. It is impossible to ignore the pres- about autism from a young age, ence of the group Autism Speaks. whether it is in school, books, televi- History should be defined by historians, not by laws While the group advocates autism sion, or simply through talking with awareness, its strategy of doing so is their parents, individuals with high- As of this writing, the “Armenian mitted with revised language. crime in Turkey. damaging to individuals with autism functioning autism will have an eas- Genocide” page on Wikipedia has The Turkish government ac- Both the French and Turkish gov- and their relatives. Instead of edu- ier time integrating into society and been revised 7,356 times in the last cused French lawmakers of racism ernments fail to realize that passing cating the public on autism, Autism perhaps have an easier time finding 10 years. Most of those edits concern and insisted that “the writing of his- laws criminalizing an opinion of his- Speaks depicts autism as a disease success in industry. A greater media the use of the term “genocide.” The tory was well beyond the bounds tory is wrong and dangerous. The that destroys families and must be presence will also assure children constant revisions this Wikipedia of their mandate,” according to the introduction of this bill wasn’t so cured. Its cold-hearted view on au- with autism that they are not alone page has undergone are a symptom Pittsburgh Post-Gazette. The Turkish much about nailing down one true tism was depicted best in the video in their daily struggles, and perhaps of larger problems in Europe: the de- government has long maintained version of history, or about bettering “Autism Every Day,” which features even provide them with role models fining of history through law. that the Armenian genocide was not the world through the recognition of a mother talking about how she had to look up to. According to The New York Times, a genocide at all, and that any state- a horrific event. once considered killing both herself March is Autism Awareness the French Constitutional Council ment to the contrary is an affront to This bill could have been a politi- and her autistic daughter due to the Month. Use this opportunity to edu- struck down a law last Tuesday that the Turkish identity. cal move by Sarkozy to gain the vote challenges of raising a child with cate yourself and your peers about would have made it a crime to deny France indeed overstepped its of the 500,000 French citizens that autism, all the while in front of said the reality of autism — then perhaps the Armenian genocide (1915–23). boundaries. But ironically, the Turk- have Armenian roots. daughter. some day a designated month for au- The bill was passed by the French ish government has its own law that Laws like the bill struck down in It is no wonder, then, that there is tism awareness will not be needed. Senate and was supported by Presi- seems to “write history beyond their France and the law in effect in Turkey still a portion of the population that dent Nicolas Sarkozy, who stated mandate.” The public affirmation of do nothing more than control popu- believes individuals with autism are Matt Mastricova (mmastric@) is a that he wanted to see the bill resub- the Armenian genocide is an official lations and keep people in power. incapable of interacting with other staffwriter for The Tartan.

Editorial Board Staff Christa Hester * Josh Smith Will Penman Senior Staff Co-Publisher Forum Editor Staffwriter Stephanie Blotner, Stephanie Guerdan, Jackson Emily Dobler * Evan Kahn Lane, Alan Vangpat Editor-in-Chief Copy Manager Copy The Tartan is a student newspaper at Carnegie Mellon University, funded in part by the student Rachel Bullen, Connie Chan, Hannah activities fee. It is a weekly publication by students during the fall and spring semesters, printed by Trib Total Media. The Tartan is not an official publication of Carnegie Mellon University. The Dellabella, Sage Po, Michael Setzer, Stephanie E ditorial Staff first issue is free; subsequent issues cost $0.50 at the discretion of The Tartan. Subscriptions are Stern, Laura Stiles Patrick Gage Kelley * Jonathan Carreon Courtney Wittekind * Kelly Harrington available on a per semester basis. Co-Publisher Photo Editor Contributing Editor Asst. Systems Manager Layout The Editorials appearing at the beginning of the opinion section are the official opinion of The MADELYN GLYMOUR Adelaide Cole Greg Hanneman Bonita Leung Jennifer Coloma Tartan Editorial Board. Columns, Editorial Cartoons, and Reviews are the opinions of their News Editor Art Editor Contributing Editor Asst. Copy Manager individual creators. The Tartan Editorial Staff reserves the right to withhold from publication Advertising Daniel Tkacik Katie Chironis * Maricel Paz any copy it deems unfit. Brent Heard Grace Chung, Seo Young Hwang SciTech Editor Online Editor Contributing Editor Asst. News Editor Letters to the Editor are the opinions of their authors. Letters from within the University com- Alex Tapak Alex Crichton Celia Ludwinski Rachel Cohen munity take precedence. Letters intended for publication must be signed and include the author’s Sports Co-Editor Systems Manager Contributing Editor Asst. Pillbox Editor address and telephone number for verification; letters must not exceed 350 words. Authors’ names Adam Gruber Sarah Zakrajsek Stacey Chin may be withheld from publication upon request. The Tartan reserves the right to condense or reject Sports Co-Editor Personnel Manager Contributing Editor any letter. Letters must be submitted by 5 p.m. on the Wednesday before publication by mail or to [email protected]. Allison Cosby Kathy Chen Michael Kahn Pillbox Editor Advertising Manager Contributing Editor Office: University Center 314 Mail: Nicole Hamilton Kenneth WOng Phone: (412) 268-2111 The Tartan © 2012 The Tartan, all rights reserved. Fax: (412) 268-1596 Box 119, UC Suite 103 Comics Editor Business Manager * Denotes executive committee member Library of Congress ISSN: 0890-3107 Web: www.thetartan.org 5000 Forbes Avenue E-mail: [email protected] Pittsburgh, PA 15213 March 5, 2012 « The Tartan thetartan.org/forum » A7

Letter to the editor Leadership perspectives Individuals College degree outweighs costs ang kids, or recent college gradu- aren’t there, then college might not Student ates who live with their parents be- be worth it. can accept cause they couldn’t find sufficient However, despite discourag- employment to afford their own ing indicators like boomerang kids Senate God’s offer places. According to a 2010 study by and high unemployment rates after Jackson Lane Monster.com, 52 percent of recent graduation, the economic down- continues To the Editors of The Tartan, college graduates are living with turn has hit those without college Republican presidential candi- their parents, in comparison to 40 degrees even harder. According to As a speaker at the event, I ap- date Rick Santorum has said some percent from the previous year. the Georgetown report, recent high preciated your coverage of last pretty controversial things, like This shows that unemployment school graduates face a whopping projects week’s Veritas Forum on “the calling President Barack Obama “a among college graduates is also 22.9 percent unemployment rate. With half the semester gone, meaning of work.” One of the snob” for wanting “everybody in high, which is at 8.9 percent accord- Even after a few years in the I wanted to check in on behalf of many reasons why I love Carnegie America to go to college.” ing to a recent report published by workforce, there is still a significant Senate to let you know where we Mellon is our diversity, and our “Oh, I understand why he wants Georgetown University’s Center on difference between the unemploy- stand on our projects and give willingness to embrace that diver- you to go to college. He wants to re- Education and the Workforce. ment rates of college and high school some updates for the rest of the sity through open, respectful dia- make you in his image,” Santorum Do these career prospects justify graduates. That difference has only way. log. I was happy to see The Tartan said at an appearance in Michigan. the enormous time commitments become more pronounced since the The first topic I’d like to address covering and participating in that “I want to create jobs so people can and costs of a college degree? economic downturn, increasing from is the Port Authority cuts. We have dialog. remake their children into their im- At some point, probably not. As 2.4 percent in 2007 to 5.1 percent in been very active in fighting against However, I wanted to clarify age, not his.” much as we celebrate the learning 2010, according to the Bureau of La- these cuts, including generating one point in The Tartan’s cover- My gut-reaction rebuttal is that and maturing that happens during bor Statistics. the site stoppatcuts.com, which age of the event. Your story said going to college will dramatically in- college, most of us choose to take on Although these statistics might currently has over 1,500 signa- that I believe “all humans already crease a person’s chances of finding a college’s costly burden primarily be- not change the fact that there are tures. We have publicized the site have God’s acceptance.” This is job, but there are several trends that cause we believe we will recoup the still thousands of boomerang kids through tabling, appearances at not entirely accurate. In my open- show this is no longer the case. expenses through better career pros- who can’t find work, the economy campus events, and via the inter- ing statement (which is available Take the rising trend of boomer- pects. But if those better prospects does not affect the quality of their net. We will continue to make sure online), I was trying to say that I education. CMU’s voice is heard and will be believe that all humans have re- While they may not realize these taking a lobbying trip to Harris- ceived God’s offer of acceptance benefits until there is a recovery, burg later this month. through Jesus’ death. However, I employers in almost all industries, In my previous update I men- also believe that God gives each of which prefer applicants, within a tioned several projects; here are us the dignity of choosing whether particular age group, with advanced updates. In tandem with the Uni- to accept this offer; and thus while degrees in education regardless of versity Center staff, we will be add- God’s acceptance is freely offered, time spent unemployed. ing a new air hockey table as well it must also be voluntarily re- Currently, there are positive signs as speakers in the Scotland Yard ceived. of recovery, such as higher stock and game room. The staffs at Tazza This distinction is important to production indices, and it’s likely D’Oro and Gates have agreed to me because I’d hate to leave your that employers will begin hiring let us implement a table-sharing readers with the false impression again soon. When they do, the boo- system there, which will help with that individual choice has no role merang kids will be the first of their crowding issues. In terms of new to play in the Christian faith. age group to reap the benefits. initiatives, we have formed a com- mittee that addresses biking issues Professor Michael D. Smith Jackson Lane ([email protected]) is a on campus, and we are working [email protected] Adelaide Cole/Art Editor senior staffwriter for The Tartan. collaboratively with several other groups to install new bike racks. We are launching a T-shirt design contest for a student to design Undeclared major promotes financial irresponsibility a CMU shirt that we will sell at a cheap rate to the student body. We So we go to college because it’s the acquiring debt despite these issues. But the accumulation of student are beginning to poster and create obvious next step in our future: It’s a Their behavior reflects the finan- debt is not even the main concern. online publicity for this contest. rite of passage. cial irresponsibility that is seen all What is most concerning is that Our Finance Committee contin- But a huge number of students over the country and the financial students are frivolously spending ues to give money to many worthy don’t think about what they are in- irresponsibility that led to the real es- money with no clear concept of its causes including Bhangra, TEDx, Celia Ludwinski vesting in. They enter into higher tate collapse, and subsequent corpo- importance. Entering into college as and Carnival. We funded AB to education unclear about what career rate and individual bankruptcy over an undeclared major is a thoughtless put speakers in Kirr Commons for According to the 2009 State Pro- they are pursuing, what education the last few years. It is a simple fact choice that hurts both the nation’s Late Nights, something that will file Report by the College Board, the they want to receive, and how they that if you try to consume more mon- economy and the students them- save groups $65 per event once average student at a four-year pub- are going to apply their skills to ad- ey than you can create, you will end selves. Students should do more re- installed. We budgeted to provide lic university pays $8,244 in tuition, vancing along their career path. They up burdening the country and the search and prepare a career path to funding in the future for Colle- while at a private university, the av- don’t think about the important long- economy. Similar to real estate, col- develop financial responsibility. giateLink, which is an organiza- erage student pays $28,500. Parental term question: How will this educa- lege debt should be treated responsi- tion management platform that support and financial aid help a lot tion get them a job? bly — keeping students’ futures and Celia Ludwinski (cludwins@) is a con- has great potential to empower but do not cover everything, leaving Instead, these students enter col- the nation’s economy in mind. tributing editor for The Tartan. student groups and connect cam- loans to fill in the gap. According to lege and begin acquiring debt in pus better than ever before. FinAid.org, debt from student loans order to explore their options. This The final area I will touch on is at $983 billion and counting. path often involves entering col- is PR. I feel we have made large There’s no doubt about it: College lege immediately after exiting high strides in this area. We have tabled is expensive. And yet so many people school, milling around as undecided nearly every Friday this semes- throw money at a college education majors until they make a decision ter, spreading awareness about without a second thought. Every col- a year or two later about what they our initiatives and our work with lege student should feel obligated to want to do with their lives. In fact, the Port Authority cuts. Our blog act responsibly when choosing to en- in another report, the College Board cmusenate.org has served as a ter into so much debt. found that an undecided major was more effective vehicle for sharing At Carnegie Mellon, the Under- the ninth most common major of information, but we still need it to graduate Admissions website states graduating high school seniors from reach a larger audience. We have that the average financial aid package the list of 38 majors provided, il- built a stronger foundation than is $33,679, with the average amount lustrating that there are still a lot of in years past, and there is a good awarded in grants as $23,083. If students who don’t think about what basis for our image to grow. That loans make up the difference, then they are investing in. being said, we need to be diligent the average student will be assuming Meanwhile, these students are in continuing to spread our name, $10,596 in debt per year. acquiring massive debt. Without a especially with elections season Granted, we all know we have to clear idea of what they are spend- around the corner. spend money to make money, and ing money on and how it will benefit There are several more initia- knowledge is a great investment. them in the long run, it is difficult to tives than these, which I encour- Isn’t the cost of tuition justified? The justify the debt they are acquiring. age you to follow at cmusenate. education we gain will give us the Without a clear career path, it is hard org. We welcome your feedback best qualifications to get a decent job to know that the college they are at- and criticisms as always. and live the American dream. And if tending will have the right program we don’t go to college, we face the so- to train them for their eventual job. It Will Weiner cial stigma against the uneducated. is worrisome that these students are Adelaide Cole/Art Editor Student Senate Chair

A PERSON’S OPINION Compiled by Jonathan Carreon and Jennifer Coloma Spring break is nearly upon us. So we asked, What are your plans for break?

Akwasi Brefo Aashna Jindal Aaron Reyes Deanna Bucci Abhi Kelkar Economics Math CIT Undecided Chemical Engineering CIT Undecided Sophomore First-year First-year Sophomore First-year

“Going on a service trip to Costa “Going to Miami with family, then “Skiing for the first time.” “I’m doing Alternative Spring “Going home to Cali and hanging Rico.” N.J.” Break in Pittsburgh.” out with friends.” A8 « thetartan.org/sports The Tartan » March 5, 2012

Track, field teams feature photo compete at NYU Quidditch team splits home games alex tapak On the women’s team, Sports Co-Editor sophomore Jackie Guevel had a first-place finish at Kent The Carnegie Mellon State University last month track and field team complet- in the 300-meter hurdles, ed its indoor season with the recording a time of 45.96 sec- University Athletic Associa- onds. Earlier this season at tion (UAA) Indoor Champi- the Bucknell Winter Classic, onships hosted by New York Guevel broke two school re- University. The event was cords in the 60-meter hurdles held at NYU Feb. 25–26. and dash with times of 8.85 The men finished the con- seconds and 7.92 seconds, ference tied for second place; respectively. Guevel wrapped the women’s team finished up her season by breaking sixth. yet another a school record “We’re having a great sea- in the 60-meter hurdles with son,” said junior Benjamin a time of 8.77 seconds. She Nealy. “The young guys are also achieved All-UAA honors far exceeding initial expecta- in the 60-meter dash with a tions, and the seasoned veter- time of 7.94 seconds. ans are providing great lead- Junior distance runner ership, which will translate to Emily Wobb also started great things for the rest of the with a win, finishing first in Nicole Hamilton/Comics Editor The Carnegie Mellon Marauders take the field at the start of the second of two games Sunday against the Edinboro University Flying Scots. The indoor and outdoor season.” the 5,000-meter run with a unofficial match ended in a draw, with the Marauders defeating the Flying Scots 160–140 in game one and the Flying Scots claiming victory in game One of the most notable time of 17:44.24 in Marietta, two 70–30. The second game was cut short due to a double booking on the intramural field. performances at UAAs was Ohio. The time placed Wobb from first-year Thomas Van- at No. 5 in the nation for the denberg, who set a school 5,000-meter run. sports commentary record of 1:53.71 in the First-year Erin Kiekhaefer 800-meter race. Vandenberg started her season strong by has been running hot all sea- winning the 800-meter race son, starting with the first at Marietta. She continued Braun’s successful appeal still hurts meet of the season in Mari- the season at the Bucknell adam gruber numerous FedEx centers that etta, Ohio, where he won the Winter Classic and turned in Sports Co-Editor were open. He also argued 800-meter race with a time of a mile run with a season-best how the drug test results were 1:59.52. time of 5:15.47. On Friday, Feb. 23, Mil- suspect, given that the test Vandenberg cut over two The Tartans have seen im- waukee Brewers left fielder showed three times more PED seconds off his time a week pressive performances in field Ryan Braun entered the Ma- content than any other test later, although he finished in events as well. Senior Ivana jor League Baseball history that has ever been conducted second place. In the finals at Moses had two second-place books. The reigning National in the MLB, suggesting that NYU, Vandenberg was beat finishes at the Case West- League (NL) MVP is bound the test was inaccurate. He for the 800-meter title by ern Reserve University dual to find his name on all-time even mentioned all of his pre- sophomore teammate Mike meet in early February. Mo- lists when his career is over; viously passed tests and the Standish, who took first with ses’ first victory came in the however, his most recent feat respect he has for his work. a time of 1:57.21; Vanden- long jump, with a distance of is not one he will likely boast Frankly, I believe him. He berg took fourth place with a 5.09 meters, and then with a about. does not look like an abuser of time of 1:57.66. jump of 10.75 meters in the Braun, who was recently PEDs. His biceps are not bulg- Senior Rob Morhard has triple jump. Moses improved charged with taking per- ing out of his jersey, his head also been performing con- both of those distances at the formance-enhancing drugs has not grown in Barry Bonds sistently well. He started Bucknell Winter Classic, re- (PEDs) and was facing a 50- fashion, and his forehead isn’t his season off strong with cording her season-best long game suspension, won his ap- covered in acne — all common a first-place finish in the jump of 5.12 meters and a tri- peal to the MLB. Braun is the symptoms of steroid users. Courtesy of The Dana Files on Flickr 3,000-meter run with a time ple jump of 5.12 meters. Mo- first player to win an appeal of The numbers he put up last Milwaukee Brewers left fielder Ryan Braun successfully appealed of 9:04.70. Morhard has ses finished her season with alleged PED use. season, while impressive and charges of using performance-enhancing drugs. also been performing well All-UAA third team honors After the successful appeal NL MVP-worthy, were not so “As players, we are held even though his appeal was in relays. While teamed with in the triple jump with a dis- of the drug test, Braun held a gaudy as to question what he to a standard of 100 percent granted. His name is tar- Nealy, first-year Douglas tance of 11.02 meters, which press conference at which he put in his body. Thirty-three perfection regarding the pro- nished, even though he may O’Connell, and Standish, the was a season best. gave thanks to teammates, home runs does not scream gram, and everyone else as- not have taken a single PED. team won the 4x800-meter With the indoor track other players, and the Brew- steroid user like retired St. sociated with that program “My name has been dragged relay at the season’s second and field season over, both ers’ coaching staff. He then Louis Cardinals first baseman should be held to the same through the mud,” he said. meet in Edinboro, Pa. This the men’s and the women’s laid out the story of his failed Mark McGwire’s 70 home runs standard,” Braun said at his He is absolutely right, and past weekend, Morhard re- teams are awaiting outdoor drug test, hitting each point of in 1998. With all of the media press conference. “We are a that mud will stick for a long corded a season-best mile competition, which begins his defense in chronological surrounding PEDs in MLB and part of a process where you time. The healing process with a time of 4:22.14. with a meet March 24–25 at order. the recent charges against are 100 percent guilty until will be lengthy. The Brew- Junior Noel Titus ended Washington & Lee University. Braun explained how his Oakland Athletics designated proven innocent.” ers won, but Braun’s victory the season with a fifth-place “Indoors is considered to be a chaperone, Dino Laurenzi Jr., hitter Manny Ramirez, Braun Although he won, Braun comes with baggage. His im- finish in the 200-meter dash stepping stone in our prepa- failed to mail his urine sample would be stupid to abuse has lost face with baseball’s age is tainted by skepticism, (23.10 seconds) and a sixth- ration for outdoor season, to the MLB laboratory the day banned drugs, especially giv- fans in the grand scheme of as we will never truly know place finish in the 60-meter where we can excel,” said ju- it was provided and waited en the success he already had things. His name will for- his innocence or guilt in dash (7.26 seconds). nior Carissa Iannone. two days to send it, despite the as a ballplayer. ever be linked to steroids, this matter. athlete profile sports commentary First-year Kiekhaefer off to a running start Ward should end alex tapak running in high school and decided that I wanted to focus that I would be able to do Sports Co-Editor did not think she could run more on running,” Kiekhaefer that!” his career now in college. “I had played soc- said. “Once I found out that I Kiekhaefer’s strong perfor- First-year middle-distance cer for a long time but real- was accepted to CMU, I con- mances this year did not come adam gruber style offense, it is not surpris- runner Erin Kiekhaefer has ized that I didn’t want to play tacted Coach [Dario] Donatel- as a surprise to sophomore Sports Co-Editor ing that the Steelers opened had a strong start on the wom- it at my high school because li and trained over the sum- teammate Jackie Guevel. up salary cap space by releas- en’s track and field team. they were too competitive, so I mer to be able to run.” “Erin is at practice every day, The Pittsburgh Steelers ing Ward. Originally from Palo Alto, started running my freshman- Kiekhaefer has enjoyed her working hard.... She makes cut the cord last Wednesday In a statement, Ward said Calif., Kiekhaefer only started year cross country season and time on the track and field sure to run the times Coach with the smile that lit up he was looking forward to team so far. “There is such a asks of her,” Guevel said. Heinz Field for 14 seasons. playing in the NFL again this great group of freshman girls “Her dedication to the team Wide receiver Hines Ward upcoming season. But this on the team,” she said. “Long has clearly paid off through will not be wearing black and should be the end of the road runs just turn into conver- her continued success in the gold next season. for Ward; it is time to call it sations, and sometimes we mile.” Steelers president Art quits. He needs to retire as a just break into fits of giggles, Overall, Kiekhaefer finds Rooney II wrote in a state- Steeler instead of pulling a which makes those hour-plus being on the track and field ment that the Steelers plan Brett Favre and playing out- runs so much better.” team very rewarding. “I think to release Ward from his con- side the city that made him Teammate Lisa Rising, a the most rewarding aspect tract. There were reportedly an icon. junior, lauded Kiekhaefer’s about being on the team is no talks between Ward and Playing a final season of “wonderful attitude” as part just meeting so many differ- Rooney about Ward taking a low-production football for of the team. “Her contagious ent people that I never would pay cut to stay in Pittsburgh. another team might invoke a positivity brings out the best have met without the team. Ward was due to earn $4 mil- dismissive attitude from ana- in her teammates and our People are all different years lion next season. lysts and fans. After a season workouts,” Rising said. and majors, and some amaz- Ward won two Super where Ward put up just 46 Even though the team is ing people that I never would Bowls with the Steelers, was receptions for 381 yards and smaller than in past years, have crossed paths with have the Super Bowl MVP in 2006, a measly two touchdowns, Kiekhaefer has high hopes for become some of my really and was selected to four Pro he wants to come back and the group. “So far everyone good friends, which makes Bowls. After setting all-time play another season. Does has been performing really the team such an important team records in receptions, he want to go out with even well, and we’ve put a lot of part of my college life,” she receiving yards, and receiv- more of a whimper than he new times on the top-five per- said. ing touchdowns, Ward will already would be? formances list, which is really A Science and Humani- leave Pittsburgh as the Steel- He could go to the Arizona impressive,” she said. ties Scholar, Kiekhaefer is ers’ greatest wide receiver. Cardinals or the Jacksonville Kiekhaefer said her proud- not entirely sure what she But the time has come for Jaguars, which are both look- est moment on the team oc- wants to major in. Currently, Ward to hang up his cleats. ing to pick up a wide receiver. curred earlier in the indoor she is considering psychol- Rooney made the right call. But I don’t think he can pro- season, when she ran her first ogy and Hispanic studies. “I Ward’s production is down, duce as an NFL wide receiver mile in 5:27, beating her high know that I want to keep run- with most of his numbers at anymore. school performance by 20 sec- ning and traveling. I probably their lowest since his rookie “This isn’t how I wanted onds. “I was just so excited want to do something with a season. To pay $4 million for this chapter of my career to

Courtesy of Erin Kiekhaefer and impressed that I was able nonprofit in a Latin American that would be preposterous. end,” Ward said. He needs to First-year runner Erin Kiekhaefer competes in the mile during the UAA to run a time like that,” she country,” she said of her fu- With Rooney’s plan to adopt realize that he can’t end it any Championships at New York University. She finished in 5:13.30. said. “I hadn’t ever thought ture plans. a more blue-collar, running- better than this. PostNatural History Gallery focuses on culture, nature, biotechnology • B9 Hunt Institute exhibit Wildflowers and watercolors create a visual walk through the seasons • B4

03.05.12 Volume 106, Issue 21 ...this week only 3 River City Brass The River City Brass Band enchants listeners with classic 1950s favorites. 4 Native Pa. The Hunt Institute’s plant and watercolor selection gives a visual tour of the outdoors. 5 Ekstatis Julia Holter’s new album offers a more peppy, accessible sound. 6 PSO Pianist Emanuel Ax makes a strong impression despite his brief performance. 7 Spring Break Pillbox editor Allison Cosby suggests ways to keep occupied in Pittsburgh during the break. 8 First Fridays Unblurred: First Fridays on Penn gets community members to engaged in the arts. 9 PostNatural Museum and art gallery opening examines culture, nature, and biotechnology. 10 Damned Author Chuck Palahniuk disappoints with a 7 cynical new book.

3 4 5 8 regulars...... diversions

3 Advice 11 Comics Everything you need to know about free time Burritos and love games are the topics of this and potentially sleazy TAs. week’s comics. 5 Paperhouse 13 Puzzles Paperhouse talks about black metal, witch Challenge yourself with this week’s sudoku and house, and goth. kakuro puzzles. Did You Know? 14 Horoscopes 10 See whether the stars have aligned in your Did you know about the similiarities between favor this week. caffeine and heroin addictions? 15 Calendar Find out what’s happening on campus and around Pittsburgh this week.

CO-PUBLISHER Christa Hester CO-PUBLISHER Patrick Gage Kelley EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Emily Dobler PILLBOX EDITOR Allison Cosby ASSISTANT PILLBOX EDITOR Rachel Cohen COMICS EDITOR Nicole Hamilton ART EDITOR Adelaide Cole PHOTO EDITOR Jonathan Carreon COPY MANAGER Evan Kahn COVER Courtney Wittekind

The Tartan . Box 119 . UC Suite 103 . Carnegie Mellon University . 5000 Forbes Ave . Pittsburgh, PA 15213 . www.thetartan.org . © 2012 The Tartan River City celebrates 1950s Advice for awkward people Brass band transports listeners with classic favorites About free time and TAs

Local music lovers traveled back to the 1950s composer Louiguy (pseudonym for Louis Guglielmi) Dear Patrick, Dear Patrick, last Thursday at Carnegie Music Hall when the had a distinctive Spanish flare, making it an exciting Pittsburgh-based River City Brass band played contrast to the typical marching band-style brass Spring break is coming Like, my TA is soooo several famous ’50s tunes for an enthusiastic bands. River City Brass’ principal cornet player, up, and I have no idea dreamy, and I totes think audience. Bernard Black, gave a lovely solo performance during what to do with all that he’s into me. He wrote a the piece. time off. I’ve forgotten smiley face next to my Founded in 1981, the brass band features a 28-piece what it’s like to have free grade!! How can I get him ensemble and tours throughout the United States. The band also integrated the Pine-Richland High time. What should I do to ask me out (since, ya The group now boasts a total of 15 recordings, School band into its program on Thursday. Pine- with myself next week? know, I can’t ask him out and continues to play a repertoire spanning from Richland is a high school in Gibsonia, located north — that’d be super awk)? Broadway to big band swing and jazz. of Pittsburgh. The band of around 90 members Thanks, performed two numbers before intermission. I Need Entertainment, <3, Under the musical direction of James Gourlay, River Conducted by Pine-Richland band director Earnestly Desire A Want Instructor Lovingly, City Brass is quite successful. The charismatic James Stillwagon, the students put on a beautiful Vexation-Avoiding Cruise Like, Totally Hot And conductor was the star of the show on Thursday. A performance. And Tremendous Increase Teaches Great, Easily native of Scotland, Gourlay is musically gifted and in Overall Nirvana a Ten, Maybe an Eight, holds the band together well. Between numbers, As a brass band, River City Brass is obviously not Anyway, Need Advice Gourlay gave short, entertaining introductions that known for its presentation of vocal music. This Dear I NEED A VACATION, explained the background of each piece. performance, however, featured two numbers with Dear WILL THAT GET ME solo singers and while the band was successful You have two options in AN A, The band opened with a sweeping rendition of instrumentally, it was disappointing vocally. The front of you: hanging out “Guadalcanal March” by American composer singing was quite underwhelming and although the around town, or getting out This all depends on how Richard Rogers. This number captured the attention addition of vocals certainly added a jovial element of Pittsburgh while you still sleazy your TA is. If he’s kind of the audience. Perhaps the most moving number to the performance, it ultimately took away from the have a chance. If you stay of sleazy, like an economics of the entire performance was the second piece: concert’s professionalism. in Pittsburgh, there are still or business TA, then he’s famed American composer Leonard Bernstein’s “On plenty of ways to spend probably willing to go out the Waterfront,” which serves as the soundtrack At the close of the concert, the Pine-Richland your time. You can finally with his students. In any to the 1954 classic film of the same name. The students joined with River City Brass to perform put those all-nighters behind other subject, your TA band captured the spirit of the film with this piece. a powerful interpretation of the famous “Stars you and sleep all afternoon. is probably too hung up Sophomore vocal performance major Kati Richer and Stripes Forever” by American composer John When you aren’t comatose, on that whole “integrity,” said, “I felt like I was sitting in the actual movie Philip Sousa. This moving rendition closed the there are plenty of concerts, “getting fired for sexual score.” performance with a bang and left the audience with shows, and bars to keep you harassment,” and “abusing happy, patriotic feelings. entertained. Mainly bars. power” junk to actually make The night’s program yielded many other notable a move. In that case, wait performances. One such performance was “Cherry But spring break is for until the semester’s over and Pink and Apple Blossom White.” This work by Zachary Mendez | Junior Staffwriter traveling! You could go to then see where things go. South America to hit the beaches, but then you’ll If you’re still reading, then probably get dysentery or we’ve already established get caught in the middle of that your TA is a sleazeball. a drug war, which, while fun, In that case, it’ll be easy to isn’t exactly stress free. If get him to make a move. Are you want to stay closer to you sure you want to go out home, try a road trip or take with this guy? I mean, you the bus somewhere. If you’re just admitted he’s sleazy, worried about being stabbed otherwise you wouldn’t be at the bus depot, remember reading this. Seriously, he’s that you’re just as likely to be no good. Oh, you’re going to stabbed at a highway rest go after him anyway? That’s stop. If money is a concern, cool — write to an advice try couch surfing. Again, the columnist and ignore his worst that can happen is advice. some mild stabbing. Damn kids these days, Basically just try to avoid Patrick Hoskins getting stabbed next week, Need advice? Send queries Patrick Hoskins to [email protected]. Adelaide Cole | Art Editor music pillbox 03.05.12 3 Exhibit explores Pennsylvania’s outdoors Hunt Institute’s collection of plants and watercolors takes viewers on visual tour

There are few things in life more delicate than wildflower blossoms and the soft splashes of watercolor on vellum.

Native Pennsylvania, A Wildflower Walk, the newest exhibit at the Hunt Institute for Botanical Documentation, pairs the two wonders together to celebrate the historical intersection between the sciences and art in the world of botany.

A collaborative exhibition between the Hunt Institute and the Carnegie Museum of Natural History’s botany department, Native Pennsylvania, A Wildflower Walk presents visitors with a painstakingly collected selection of plants and watercolors. The exhibition features the pairing of 36 watercolors by Richard Crist (CIT ’28) from the Hunt Institute’s collection with a significant selection of the Carnegie Museum of Natural History’s herbarium specimens.

In addition to Crist’s watercolors and the botany department’s herbarium selections, the exhibit also features watercolors by painter Lyn Hayden and entomologist and painter Andrey Avinoff, which underscore the importance of herbaria in botanical research, education, and conservation.

The concept behind the exhibit is to create a visual wildflower walk through Pennsylvania’s blooming Kate Groschner | Staff seasons. A special emphasis is placed on endangered and rare species. Given Pittsburgh’s historically Along with his painting and printmaking, Crist was also gray winters, visitors will surely welcome this early an amateur botanist, author, and book illustrator. He celebration of nature’s ephemeral splashes of color. wrote and illustrated several children’s books, including The Mystery of Broken Horse Chimneys, published in At Carnegie Mellon, an environment in which most 1960 with his wife, Eda Szecskay Crist. He also provided undergraduate students have a hard time taking a hundreds of watercolor illustrations for the “Herbs” break, let alone going outside, Native Pennsylvania, and “Vegetables and Fruits” volumes of The Time-Life A Wildflower Walk provides a convenient look at the Encyclopedia of Gardening in 1977. His work is in the delicate unfolding of Pennsylvania’s natural world. collections of the Carnegie Library in Pittsburgh. Located in the often-overlooked Hunt Institute, on the fifth floor of Hunt Library, the exhibit provides a quiet For those interested in expanding their knowledge of the space for serene contemplation. The unfolding of the botanical world, The Hunt Institute for Documentation seasons lends the exhibit a gentle, logical progression will be holding lectures through mid-June that will focus that is sure to please those in need of a respite. on Pennsylvania’s native plants.

In the exhibit, visitors can explore the intersection between the arts and natural sciences by viewing Juan Fernandez | Staffwriter the juxtaposition of botanists’ tools and artists’ documentation on display. For those uninitiated in the Native Pennsylvania, A Wildflower Walk will be on traditional practices of botanical collection, the exhibit display through June 29 on the fifth floor of Hunt Library. thoroughly describes common tools and their uses. Hours: Monday-Friday, 9 a.m.-noon and 1-5 p.m.; Sunday, 1-4 p.m. (except March 11; April 6-8; and May 6, The inclusion of Crist’s work alongside the herbarium 27, and 28) selections provides a new perspective on the artist, Kate Groschner | Staff given that historians remember Crist primarily as an abstract painter. Native Pennsylvania, A Wildflower Walk Top: The exhibit’s plant selection gives viewers a look adds another dimension to the public’s understanding of into Pennsylvania’s natural world. his work as an artist. Bottom: Visitors to the Hunt Institute examine the collections on display.

art 4 pillbox 03.05.12 Julia Holter releases Ekstasis Paperhouse New album features a more peppy, accessible sound On Darkness

When Julia Holter released her album Tragedy last influences into her soundscapes — Ekstasis has Minimal techno, black metal, witch house, goth: They year, it quickly received plenty of critical acclaim: everything from a Baroque harpsichord to an are all some of my favorite music genres, but they’re also National Public Radio named it one of the top 10 ’80s-inspired synth to eastern-influenced ambient some of the bleakest. While reviewing end-of-the-year “outer sound” albums of 2011 while FACT magazine sounds. Embedded in all these musical layers is lists from a slew of magazines, it appears that I am not the ranked it at No. 13 on its list of best albums of the Holter’s voice, which ranges from an operatic style only one who has become obsessed with darkness. In the year. The album, which centers around Euripides’ to a bouncy pop sound to a whispered spoken word. past decade, many genres of music have begun shifting play Hippolytus, combines psychedelic soundscapes In less skilled hands, this huge range of sounds toward dark, sluggish, and spooky themes. All of this begs with Holter’s echoing vocals and a multitude of could quickly devolve into chaos, but Holter pulls the question: Why has our culture, or at the very least our musical influences to create a swirling, brooding everything together skillfully to create a musical musicians, become obsessed with darkness? atmosphere befitting the Greek tragedy. Her new atmosphere that’s greater than the sum of its parts. album, Ekstasis, keeps the groovy sounds but Darkness in music is nothing new: The ’80s, for example, abandons Tragedy’s moodiness in favor of a peppy, This musical atmosphere allows Ekstasis to succeed were dominated by post-punk and were dark in their own more accessible sound. where Tragedy sometimes fell short. Tragedy is right. But it’s been over 20 years since darkness has been so focused on pulling in as many threads of sound in vogue. Perhaps music is finally becoming a reflection of However, the differences between Ekstasis and as possible, and so intent on fitting the theme of the global trauma evident in the news: oil spills, economic Tragedy are evident from the opening notes. While Hippolytus, that it often feels overly intellectual. With ruin, riots, revolutions, tsunamis. Tragedy began with hazy, atmospheric ambience, the previous album, the listener can appreciate the Ekstasis begins with what sounds like a pop version mastery that Holter is showing in her music, but As cultural analyst Simon Reynolds points out in his of Baroque chamber music. The differences only this sometimes makes it difficult to get lost in the 2011 book Retromania, trauma induces repetition and continue from there. The rich soundscapes are still brooding atmosphere Holter is trying to create. regression, or hyperstasis. Reynolds implies that while we there, but instead of ominous foghorns and clanging, appear to be moving somewhere, we are actually staying they’re accompanied by peppy synthesizers and In Ekstasis, though, Holter seems to be less in the same spot or even traveling backwards. In this upbeat percussion. pressured to prove her talents, and instead focuses state of hyperstasis, the past is perpetually reanimated on creating a lovely atmosphere that allows you to into present culture. This results in individuals exhibiting These differences don’t make Ekstasis less musically step outside yourself and into Ekstasis’ rich musical an aching nostalgia for even the most irrational sorts of interesting. The album still has a dreamy haziness world. retromania. about it, as though you’re listening to it echo through a cloud of smoke. Instead of the ominous Ekstasis will be released on March 8, but can As a result of global trauma, a large portion of the music vibe emanating throughout Tragedy, Ekstasis has a currently be streamed online at NPR.org. being produced today seems to be haunted by the past. calmly contented feel. It is in music that we are seeing a distinctive reaction to the political and economic atmosphere of the world. This Holter still weaves a fascinating blend of musical Anna Walsh | Staffwriter sort of sluggish and spooky music is not like the ’80s music that was dark for the sake of being dark, but rather is a result of social, political, cultural, and environmental shocks. Musicians today are taking ideas and styles from the past and are reworking them to become a reflection of the present. The world isn’t a good place right now, but the darkest hour is just before the dawn.

Alex Price | Special to The Tartan

top 10 on WRCT 88.3 FM most played albums of the last week 1 The Black Keys — El Camino 2 Tennis — Young and Old 3 Tycho — Dive 4 Frank Sinatra — The Best of the Best 5 Dr. Dog — Be the Void 6 Twink — Itsy Bits and Bubbles 7 Black Belles — The Black Belles 8 Atlas Sound — Parallax 9 R.E.M. — Part Lies, Part Heart, Part Truth, Part Garbage: 1982–2011 Courtesy of dublabrat on Flickr Musician Julia Holter creates a lovely, upbeat atmosphere in her new album Ekstasis. 10 Markus D — Shoshin music pillbox 03.05.12 5 PSO features world-renowned pianist Juilliard-educated soloist Emanuel Ax impresses audiences despite brief appearance

Featuring a world-class guest soloist, the Pittsburgh 12th-century legend of star-crossed lovers, as he and enthusiastic reception, Ax was the highlight of the Symphony Orchestra (PSO)’s program added another Isolde, the wife-to-be of Tristan’s uncle, fall in love. The evening; the orchestra could have done more to make success to the list of excellent performances in its story, which has taken many forms in its hundreds of him the centerpiece of the program. 2011–12 season last Friday night. With Juilliard-educated years of existence, is rich with guilt, revenge, love, and and world-renowned pianist Emanuel Ax featured in the deceit. The orchestra did an excellent job of expressing Although they had taken a step back to accompany program, the orchestra once again showed its ability to this drama through music. Ax’s performance, the orchestra once again rose to bring in high-profile soloists while demonstrating its own the spotlight for its performance of English composer musical prowess. The orchestra’s impressive performance aside, Ax stole Edward Elgar’s “Enigma Variations.” Elgar’s piece the show with his performance of Wolfgang Amadeus consists of 14 variations on a theme, each representing The concert was held at Heinz Hall, which is currently Mozart’s “Concerto No. 22 for Piano and Orchestra.” In an important person in Elgar’s life. Though connected celebrating 40 years as host to the PSO. In the lobby, contrast to the emotional vigor in the Wagner piece, by this common underlying theme, each variation young musicians greeted guests who arrived early the Mozart concerto highlighted the soloist’s skill with was distinct, and many were in direct contrast to one with classical favorites like French composer Claude delicate and incredibly fast finger work. another, as the music was written to express different Debussy’s “Clair de Lune.” Meanwhile, in the concert personalities. hall, orchestra members trickled onstage and began to The seasoned pianist was a self-assured and engaged warm up. Once the hall had filled, celebrated violinist performer. Ax oftentimes took his eyes off the keys to Like the Wagner piece, Elgar’s variations showed a and guest conductor Nikolaj Znaider got the program carefully watch the conductor, and moved his head wide range of emotions and dynamics. Starting off underway. vigorously to the music, even when not playing. He with a tender depiction of Elgar’s wife, Alice, the piece played each series of rapid trills and scales with ease, varied from light, flurrying winds to loud, blaring brass Dynamics were key in the first piece of the program, without making a production of the obvious difficulty of to sweeping, emotive strings. The “Nimrod” variation, German composer Richard Wagner’s “Prelude und the piece. perhaps the most well known of the variations, was Liebestod” from the opera Tristan und Isolde; the a particular highlight. Moving at a very slow adagio, orchestra did an excellent job of bringing them to the For Ax, this confidence did not translate into arrogance. the orchestra grew in dynamics with an intense yet forefront. Wagner, a German 19th-century composer best After his performance, the audience cheered wildly extremely tender crescendo, moving seamlessly from known for his operas, wrote the piece in true romantic and gave him a standing ovation, and Ax accepted the soft to loud. style with exaggerated swells from loud to soft. Several applause with a series of humble and good-natured exciting climaxes intensified the piece, when the smiles and bows. When the audience insisted, he took With the help of Ax, the PSO put on another excellent orchestra built up powerful crescendos then suddenly a seat once more on the piano bench for an encore — and well-received program for local classical music dropped down to a quiet hum. Both the sudden and slow a sweet, romantic piece that allowed Ax to show the lovers. Despite Ax’s brief appearance, the program changes in dynamics showed off the focus and control audience a little more versatility. showed off both Ax as an accomplished soloist and the of the musicians on stage and the orchestra’s ability to PSO as an orchestra that continues to impress. move as a single body. Despite its strong reception, Ax’s appearance was surprisingly brief. Aside from his encore, the three- The incredible dynamic range is meant to reflect the movement Mozart concerto was the only piece that Rachel Cohen | Assistant Pillbox Editor emotional turmoil of Tristan, a character from a featured the pianist. Judging from the audience’s

music 6 pillbox 03.05.12 Ways to spend spring break in Pittsburgh Museums and architectural landmarks are exciting destinations for students staying local

As its name implies, spring break is a time for students classic rock, punk, and metal, or 720 Records in Squirrel silkscreen prints of domestic dogs and cats by Andy to take a break from work. Even if you’re not going Hill, which focuses on hip-hop, reggae, funk, and jazz. Warhol. Both Carnegie museums are a short walk from home or somewhere warm and sunny, your spring break campus and, like the Mattress Factory, Carnegie Mellon doesn’t have to be a bummer. Whether you have the While it may seem like an obvious suggestion, you students enjoy free admission. whole week or only an afternoon to spare, Pittsburgh has could spend a day at the Carnegie museums in Oakland a lot to offer and there’s no better time to get out and during the break. The Carnegie Museum of Art’s If you have a car, or a friend with one, take a day trip explore. permanent collection contains around 35,000 European to Falling Water. Located about an hour and a half from and American art works from the late 17th century to the Pittsburgh, Falling Water is a home designed and built If you’re looking for a bit of adventure, check out the present. The museum is also hosting temporary exhibits, between 1936 and 1939 by esteemed American architect Mattress Factory, a contemporary art museum located including an exhibit by sculpture and landscape artist Frank Lloyd Wright. The home appears to be standing on in the historic North Side that focuses on exhibitions Maya Lin (titled Maya Lin) and a retrospective of nothing, instead stretching out over a 30-foot waterfall. that feature a variety of media to fully engage visitors. African-American photographer Charles “Teenie” Harris When it was built, Falling Water was immediately Getting there can be a challenge and the entrance is (titled Teenie Harris, Photographer: An American Story). recognized as an architectural feat and is now a National hidden in an alleyway, but it’s worth the effort once you The museum’s photographic exhibit Picturing the City: Historic Landmark. After being closed for all of January get inside. Downtown Pittsburgh, 2007–2010 is closing March 25, and February, the architectural landmark will reopen for so spring break is a good opportunity to see it before it the 2012 season on Saturday. The Mattress Factory currently features two exhibitions closes. in addition to its permanent collection. Factory Installed, There’s a lot to see in and around Pittsburgh, and it which has been on display since October, features a The Carnegie Museum of Natural History is currently seems like there’s never time to get out while classes are wide variety of work — from projections to mirrored home to Read My Pins: The Madeleine Albright in session. So take a day off, get some fresh air, and take rooms to technology-focused installations — by artists Collection, an exhibit featuring more than 200 of in the local culture. You won’t regret it. Pablo Valbuena, Mariana Manhães, Natalia González, Albright’s pins, which she wore to convey and reinforce Nika Kupyrova, Than Htay Maung, and Veronica Ryan. diplomatic messages during her term as Secretary of All of the works in this exhibit are site specific and were State. In addition to its permanent exhibitions covering Allison Cosby | Pillbox Editor created just for the Mattress Factory. Factory Installed is a range of topics from botany to dinosaurs to minerals, on display until May 27. the museum also features the Cats and Dogs Series,

Also on view at the Mattress Factory is 610-3556 by New York-based artist Sarah Oppenheimer. This piece features an opening in the floor of a room on the fourth floor of the museum that directs viewers’ attention to a neighboring yard across the street. The piece is the first time an artist has altered the building’s structure in its 30-year history. When visiting the museum, it seems that every exhibit is more exciting than the last, making for a truly memorable experience. Best of all, Carnegie Mellon students get into the Mattress Factory for free.

For music lovers and collectors of vinyl, Pittsburgh has some great record stores — but who really has the time to sift through a record store when classes are in session? That’s why spring break is the perfect time to devote a few hours to digging through grungy record shops.

Jerry’s Records in Squirrel Hill is the go-to store for many vinyl collectors. Home to over 1 million vinyl albums, Jerry’s was named one of Rolling Stone’s best record stores in the United States in 2010. Even Mac Miller loves Jerry’s — he released a freestyle about the store in January called “Jerry’s Record Store.” If Jerry’s isn’t your jam, try Wicked Discs in Oakland, which focuses on

Yayoi Kusama’s “Infinity Dots Mirrored Room,” part of a permanent installation, is among the attractions on display at the Mattress Factory. Courtesy of the Mattress Factory art pillbox 03.05.12 7 First Fridays engage public in the fine arts PostNatural museum crosses boundaries Unblurred events, including poetry reading and Open Studio, delight community members Museum and art gallery opens, focuses on culture, nature, and biotechnology

Unblurred: First Fridays on Penn is a monthly showcase The Center for PostNatural History is a distinct The idea for the exhibit goes back as far as 2005, though Pell revealed that the most difficult part of creating of visual and performance arts in the Penn Avenue Arts crossbreed between a museum and an art gallery. the development of the physical space started just a a permanent home for the center was simply the District (4800–5500 Penn Ave.). Like the Cultural Trust’s Friday marked the grand opening of its permanent year ago. Pell originally began working with engineers architecture of the space. He worked with numerous quarterly Gallery Crawl in Downtown, most Unblurred exhibition facility, located at 4913 Penn Ave. Richard in the field of synthetic biology. Though the museum people to transform one large room into a series of events are free and all are open to the public, with over Pell, a Carnegie Mellon professor of art and director of displays a number of preserved life forms, Pell was never intimate spaces that all flow in and out of each other. two dozen locations to choose from. the Center for PostNatural History, is the founder of this particularly interested in the creation of these displays as space. an art form. Though the area is decidedly neutral, there is A poetry reading at Voluto Coffee on Penn Avenue was undoubtedly a hint of morbidity that arises from the the first stop of the night. The reading was hosted by The term “post-natural” refers to genetically altered “The realization that I came to was that the things lighting, audio, and concepts of the exhibit. The blunt Terrance Hayes, a National Book Award winner and living organisms. According to the center’s website, that were already happening in labs were far more exposition of the genetic modification that transpires in Carnegie Mellon creative writing professor. Originally its intent is to “acquire, interpret and provide access provocative than anything I could come up with,” America is enough to give any viewer an uneasy feeling. concerned about reading for two hours straight, Hayes to a collection of living, preserved and documented he said. “What was necessary was a space of The Center for PostNatural History lets viewers in on opted to pull his creative writing class into the event and organisms of post-natural origin.” The exhibit allows documentation and contemplation.” something that feels secretive, even though all of the open up the readings to the general public. Volunteers access to a wealth of knowledge about the relationships information displayed is available to the general public. were asked to sign up the hour before the reading, and among culture, nature, and biotechnology. He worked to transform the center into a neutral space were called forward as the night progressed. Other that would allow for serious contemplation, which visitors, who came in from the rain, were entranced by Jonathan Carreon | Photo Editor Upon entering, visitors are guided under a dark arch into is no easy task when working with a controversial Samantha Ward | Staffwriter the atmosphere and presentation and almost always A poetry reading at Voluto Coffee, hosted by Carnegie Mellon professor Terrance Hayes, allowed volunteers to a dimly lit room with ambient noises quietly adding to subject. The goals of the gallery are to challenge the stayed for multiple pieces. Every seat was taken, take the stage and participate in the event. the atmosphere. Large, bookcase-like structures tower assumptions of viewers and to allow them to reach their including the extra ones lining the room. next to the entrance. Nestled in these dark, wooden own conclusions, without having to decide whether or barriers are glass windows that provide a glimpse of not they agree with any particular opinion. Pell said, “The changing readers was particularly nice,” said participants in the artistic process, whether by creating to the event. Unblurred is hosted by the Penn Avenue tiny, intricate dioramas created by Craig Tompkins, an “We specifically try to avoid using the language of the sophomore chemistry major Sarah Horner, a student a mark of their own, drawing a line representation Arts Initiative (PAAI). The PAAI was created in 1998 in artist based in Santa Fe, New Mexico. These dioramas industry, or academia even.” in one of Hayes’ classes. “It kept the pacing and style of their height, or letting out pent-up aggression by collaboration with the Bloomfield Garfield Corporation represent different environments that harbor genetically different throughout the night and that was better stabbing a fork into a piece of cardboard in the wall. in response to the lack of development in the area. With altered species, such as a military goat farm generating than hearing the same person reading the entire time.” According to Assemble’s website, “The general public the help of generous funding from both local and national “biosteel goats.” Horner read two personal pieces as well as one she had seldom has the opportunity to engage with the artist-at- sources, the PAAI has been moving the avenue toward heard from a YouTube slam poetry video. “I came out of work because studios are often shut off to them.” The being, in its own words, “artsy-er,” “green-er,” “busi-er,” The glass windows also contain a fish tank of it feeling very inspired,” she said. exhibit runs through March. “tasty-er,” “homey-er,” and “clean-er.” Glofish, or zebra fish, a transgenic organism. Edward Wojciechowski III, a first-year linguistics major, said, “I In addition to the poetry reading, Assemble, a Unblurred, and similar events like the Gallery Crawl, are The next Unblurred art walk will take place on Friday, thought it was interesting that they had live organisms. community arts and technology gallery, was hosting an organized to encourage the community to get involved April 6. Like, I definitely had those fish as a kid. It was all very exhibit called Open Studio, by artist Seth Clark. Open in the arts. Many of the attendees of Friday’s Unblurred, familiar.” Studio is a highly interactive exhibit that makes viewers however, were art students or were otherwise related Jonathan Carreon | Photo Editor Other sections of the exhibit display more of these cases, each with a specimen and a phone that viewers can pick up in order to learn the history of the modified organism. These cases include a variety of samples, including sea monkeys and the testicles of a castrated domestic cat. The specimens featured in the exhibit are all donations.

A larger portion of the exhibit has a wall dedicated to the Dugway Proving Ground, the largest biological weapons testing site in the United States. The location is illustrated by an eerie landscape photograph of the Utah Granite Peak Installation, accompanied by an aerial view of the land. A pulsating circular projection of the ground inhabits the wall next to the pictures. “For quite a lot of bacterial pathogens, this is their one sort of habitat that exists outside the lab,” Pell explained, when asked why the projection was there.

A visitor at the Center for PostNatural History listens to one of the audio exhibits housed in the space.

Jonathan Carreon | Photo Editor art art 8 pillbox 03.05.12 pillbox 03.05.12 9 Did you know? Damned lacks substance

A Letter to the Editor suggests that Palahniuk disappoints with unconvincing cynicism the difficulty of developing school spirit stems from a combination of badly If you are sick of high school and college students it becomes clear that the narrator is solely a vehicle 100 timed sports events and late night years ago thinking that they are part of some cool and for communicating the travesty of parents living classes. Academics always come first exclusive club for knowing the first two rules of Fight vicariously through their children and then treating Feb. 29, 1912 at Carnegie Mellon, so having classes Club (which are, paradoxically, not to talk about them as status symbols. that overlap with sporting events only Fight Club), you can thank Chuck Palahniuk, the makes school spirit all the more difficult author of the novel. He has been releasing novels There is a reason that Fight Club garnered so much to obtain. annually for the past 13 years, and he is well known attention among young adults. It was inventive, for writing books that deal with macabre and gritty in-your-face, visceral, and uncompromising — A news writer outlines two summer subject matter. everything a typical rebellious teenager hopes to be. programs marketed toward students There are glimpses of these traits in Damned, but 50 interested in having a summer of Over the years, Palahniuk has gradually introduced the constant thematic repetition and the slowness years ago fun. One program at the University of socially critical themes in his work. For a while, this of the plot render Damned a difficult read. Palahniuk Mexico boasts unusual courses and worked wonderfully. Lullaby, Diary — and, to a lesser is not a sellout or washed up — not yet, at least. At March 14, 1962 weekend trips around the country. The extent, Rant — were well-executed horror stories the moment, it appears that he has merely lost the program at the University of Hawaii that managed to unsettle the reader with disturbing visionary equilibrium that led him to such success includes sightseeing, dances, dinner scenes, plots, and characters, forcing the reader to with his earlier works. The talent is still there, but it cruises, and beach parties. re-examine the validity of certain characteristics is forced to play second fiddle to his satire. of American society. Recently, however, Palahniuk An in-depth narration follows a tough has focused too strongly on social criticism and not defeat in the final game of Tartan ice enough on delivering strong, fluid stories. His most Matt Mastricova | Staffwriter 25 hockey for the season. The game was recent book, Damned, is merely a continuation of years ago lost to local rival, Duquesne University, Palahniuk’s downward spiral. by a close margin, as were many March 10, 1987 others that season. Despite the loss, Satirical may be one of the first words that comes both coach and players are optimistic to mind when trying to describe Palahniuk’s work. about the upcoming season. As hard as it may be, ignore the impulse to call his work satire. It is not, because satire requires A typical Pittsburgh winter is sure subtlety and skill. While Palahniuk is a skilled writer, to bring feelings of gloom to most he possesses the subtlety of a Tyrannosaurus rex students due to a combination of with a Napoleon complex. The satirical elements 10 in his earlier works succeeded because they were years ago crummy weather and hard work. The scientific name is Seasonal Affective vehicles for the plot. This relationship is inverted in March 4, 2002 Disorder (SAD), and it brings symptoms Damned, and the book suffers severely because of of lethargy and irritability similar to it. The focus on social issues instead of a plot results severe depression. Luckily for students, in a very slow-paced book that is neither interesting this past winter was fairly mild. nor captivating and is not even convincing in its cynicism.

The Tartan presents a never-ending Palahniuk is not a bad writer: His ability to construct dilemma for college students: to remain intriguing and definitive characters is amazing. Even friends with benefits or to cut things in Damned this talent is noticeable. The narrator, years5 ago off once and for all. While the physical 13-year-old Madison, is dead and has been sent to temptation is tough to suppress, the Hell after an “overdose of marijuana.” The Hell in March 5, 2007 advice columnist suggests staying Damned contains the pantheons of old religions away from such a sticky situation. torturing damned souls for enjoyment against the background of a waterfall of feces, mountains of nail clippings, and other not-so-pleasant landmarks. The As midterms continue, students juxtaposition of the narrator’s wry humor and the seek ways to stay awake as long as disturbing features of Hell is genuinely enjoyable possible. A favorite among students is and interesting. Unfortunately, it quickly gets old as year1 ago immense caffeine consumption in the form of coffee, tea, soda, and energy Feb. 28, 2011 drinks. A SciTech author explores caffeine’s side effects and compares students’ dependence on it to heroin addiction. Author Chuck Palahniuk’s Damned focuses more on social commentary than on plot. Catherine Spence | Staffwriter Courtesy of Random House

literature 10 pillbox 03.05.12 Stage of Love Games by Doghouse Diaries

I Remember by Tara Helfer

thelfer@andrew

[email protected] comics pillbox 03.05.12 11 Burritos by Reza Farazmand [email protected]

Online at www.poorlydrawnlines.com

Apartment 4H by Joe Medwid and Dave Rhodenbaugh jmedwid@andrew

Online at www.4hcomic.com comics 12pillbox 03.05.12 Sudoku Puzzle: Very Hard Difficulty Kakuro Puzzle: Easy Difficulty

Sudoku courtesy of www.opensky.ca/~jdhildeb/software/ Kakuro courtesy of www.krazydad.com/kakuro/ sudokugen/ Fill all empty squares using numbers 1 to 9 so the sum of each row equals the clue on its left, and the sum of each column equals the clue on its top. No number may be used in the same row or column more than once.

Solutions from Feb. 27, 2012

Crossword Medium Difficulty Hard Difficulty

puzzles pillbox 03.05.12 13 Horoscopes Sun and fun await you. Take this vacation to stock up on as aries much sun as you possibly can. You’ll need it to survive the march 21–april 19 last few weeks of winter at Carnegie Mellon.

It was nice that you gave your TA the benefit of the doubt at taurus the start of the semester, but now it’s crunch time and you april 20–may 20 must come to the realization that your TA is an incompetent fool.

Why are you reading the paper? You don’t have the luxury gemini of sitting and frittering your time away. Get back to work! may 21–june 21

There are many things in life right now that are confusing to cancer you. Confusion can be a very painful thing, but things can june 22–july 22 only clear up from here.

There’s lots of work to be done this week, but make sure leo that you take some time to relax... even if all you do is lay july 23–aug. 22 on your back staring at the celling and asking a higher Crossword courtesy of BestCrosswords.com power to spare you. Across Down virgo Your spring break plans are not so great, but your friends 1. Elevator man 1. Greek peak don’t have to know that. Lie and make them envy you. 5. Release 2. Diplomacy aug. 23–sept. 22 10. Bouillabaisse, e.g. 3. Muslim elder and prayer-leader 14. Ditto 4. Bristly 15. Designer Mizrahi 5. Languid 16. “Jaws” boat 6. Uncommon sense Midterms. Why are you worrying about midterms? You’re 17. Beat it! 7. Mai ___ libra amazing, and there’s nothing that will stand in your way. sept. 23–oct. 22 18. Ill will 8. Entrances 19. “My Heart Will Go On” singer 9. Body of salt water 20. Maximally 10. Fizzy drink 22. OK to consume 11. Chicago paper, for short Hurry up and finish your work so you can get to more 24. Part of RSVP 12. Earth Day subj. 25. IRS IDs 13. Decline scorpio important stuff, like anything that isn’t homework. oct. 23–nov. 21 26. And so forth 21. Join a poker game 30. Accumulate 23. Autocratic Russian rulers 35. Aussie hopper 25. Pouch 36. Brief instant 26. Build Five more days. Five more days. Five more days. Five more 37. Cattle spot 27. _____ is human sagittarius days. 38. Most strange 28. Chick of jazz nov. 22–dec. 21 41. Mosaic piece 29. Emeritus: Abbr. 43. Salad green 31. Barker and Bell 44. Alley ___ 32. Slippery as _____ 45. Alway 33. Rocky debris I know you may want to, but you can’t fall to pieces until 46. Snares 34. Fragment capricorn you get the approval of at least three outside experts. Once 47. Lessened 39. AOL, e.g. dec. 22–jan. 19 you get said approval, you may then commence falling 50. Checked out 40. Ruhr city 53. Actress Zadora 41. Haul apart. 54. Wrench 42. Manifestation of a deity 58. Deal with 44. Eccentric You have to deal with all of your problems this week, but 62. Queue 48. Actress Peeples aquarius that’s nothing new to you. Just remember that all you have 63. The end of _____ 49. Pamper jan. 20–feb. 18 to do is make it to Friday and things will get better. 66. Bargain 51. Long 67. Cameo stone 52. Bert’s buddy 68. Ascended 54. Oscar Madison, for one 69. Slender 55. Yearn deeply Your Libra friend is quite delusional. Keep an eye on him 70. Defeat 56. Author Seton pisces because he’s going to need you. 71. Destitute 57. Immediately following feb. 19–march 20 72. Ages 59. Costly 60. Actress Turner Nicole Hamilton | Comics Editor 61. Lodge members 64. Compass pt. 65. Roulette bet horoscopes 14pillbox 03.05.12 MONDAY3.5.12 celebration of Women’s History Month. The exhibit will ONGOING feature first-, second-, and third-wave feminists and will Born in Flames. Rangos Hall. 4:30 p.m. be on display at WildCard through mid-April. About Face. The Andy Warhol Museum. Through Arts Greenhouse presents the Born in Flames Tour May 13. workshop led by touring artists Jean Grae, Invincible, Off the Top Presents: Spring Show. New York photographer Arne Svenson created a series of and Tamar-Kali. The workshop will focus on the Margaret Morrison A14. 8 p.m. three-dimensional, large-format portraits in collaboration marginalized impact of women, women of color, and Carnegie Mellon’s own Off the Top Improv Comedy with The Warhol. The portraits are mounted on the wall LGBT communities on the history of music and the ways Troupe will present short- and long-form performances. and fixed open at a 55-degree angle, so patrons can different artists have tried to counter these narratives. The The show is free and open to the public. view the neutral portrait from one angle and see an workshop will be followed by a concert at 7:30 p.m. accompanying portrait of an emotional motivator from FRIDAY3.9.12 another. TUESDAY3.6.12 Pittsburgh Symphony Orchestra: Haydn, Previn, and Maya Lin. Carnegie Museum of Art. Through May 13. Will Eisner’s New York. ToonSeum. Through May 27. Mendelssohn. Heinz Hall. 8 p.m. The exhibit features work from American sculpture and The ToonSeum will display cartoonist Will Eisner’s work. The Pittsburgh Symphony Orchestra will perform Franz landscape artist Maya Lin. Elements from architecture, The exhibit features original works of the comics pioneer, Joseph Haydn’s Symphony No. 102, André Previn’s sculpture, nature, and ecology contribute to Lin’s unique tracing an informal history of New York and comics. Triple Concerto, and Felix Mendelssohn’s Symphony approach to landscapes; the exhibit features a variety No. 4, “Italian.” The performance will be conducted by of works from large-scale topographic representations The Kooks with Yawn. Mr. Small’s Theatre. 8 p.m. André Previn and will feature solos by George Vosburgh to delicate wall installations of silver pins. The exhibit British pop rock band The Kooks will perform a show (trumpet), William Caballero (horn), and Craig Knox (tuba). is organized by Raymund Ryan, curator at the Heinz with Yawn. The Kooks released its debut album Architectural Center at the Carnegie Museum of Art. Inside In/Inside Out in 2006. SATURDAY3.10.12 UPCOMING WEDNESDAY3.7.12 Humanaut presents: Out of Order. Belvedere’s. 9 p.m. 21+. Carnegie Mellon International Film Festival: Faces Pittsburgh Penguins Hockey. CONSOL Energy Center. This monthly DJ event will feature renowned Pittsburgh of Others. March 22–April 15. 7:30 p.m. musician CUTPUS (Geoff Maddock). Maddock is known This year’s International Film Festival focuses on the The Pittsburgh Penguins face off against the Toronto for bringing a wide variety of music to the city over the concept of the Other and features independent films from Maple Leafs. years and will perform alongside Cleveland-based artist all over the world. The opening night reception will be held Jason Burns and Pittsburgh DJ Mr. Hamilton. There is a at the Melwood Screening Room at 7:15 p.m. on March King Britt. AVA Lounge. 10 p.m. $5 cover charge starting at 10 p.m. 22, and will include a screening of El Sicario. Producer and DJ King Britt will perform at AVA Lounge. King Britt works across genre lines, creating a unique A Streetcar Named Desire. Benedum Center. Through blend of house, hip hop, nu-jazz, funk, and afrotech. March 11. Compiled by Allison Cosby | Pillbox Editor Pittsburgh Ballet Theatre presents an adaption of THURSDAY3.8.12 Tennessee Williams’ A Streetcar Named Desire, taking the Want your event here? audience inside the mind of an aging southern belle. The Email [email protected]. Cary Lynn Kleid: My Favorite Feminists. WildCard, production is choreographed by John Neumeier. Tickets 4209 Butler St. 6 p.m. are available through the Pittsburgh Cultural Trust. Local artist Cary Lynn Kleid will present a collection of abstract collage portraits of feminist pioneers in

calendar pillbox 03.05.12 15 soul.

Jonathan Carreon | Photo Editor

Jonathan Carreon | Photo Editor SPIRIT, Carnegie Mellon’s African-American minority organization, hosted SOUL last Saturday night in Rangos Hall. SOUL spotlighted student performers from SPIRIT and the Carnegie Mellon community, with acts including vocal performances, spoken word, and dance.

gallery 16pillbox 03.05.12