That Friday free thing Leeds St I FrkInv. retIrtrary 2. 2007 vat. 7:15SLIE 12 Top lecturer slammed for unfair conduct

By Charlotte Griffiths Speaking to the Leeds Student Dr subject. The student who stayed in his decisive action - as past cases have seriously, and he was right - as a fresher I Hartley said that he had "no comment to class agreed with tins. saying: "I initially shown. We are committed to offering was pretty hungover in some of my make" on the subject and Mai "such thought that Owen Hartley was put off Nutrients and staff equality of opportunity seminars. I think that. if he is being matters were between the university and by the fact that I am well spoken and at the University , and to ensuring our dismissive in another seminar group, it is A senior lecturer in the School of History the departments concerned." But he hum the South. I had heard rumours that values of diversity. inclusiveness, probably a tactic, rather than sexism or has been disciplined by his parent continued, saying: "There's nothing eke he had a chip on his shoulder about the community and mutual respect an: prejudice, or maybe he feels a hit of department regarding his treatment of to be said. Of course some people oiler influx of Southerners to Leeds in recent reflected in all we do." rivalry between the departments". third year dissertation students in the titles that affirm plausible than others. years, but he became better as the weeks Some students taught in Hartley's Beth Forrester, LUU's education Politics department. It happens routinely every year." Went on its I persisted with my title. He parent school seem to have a more ',dicer, commented on the matter:1AM The teaching, style and persouai On request of anonymity, one female became really quite helpful and fairly positive perception of his teaching style is pleased the University has taken swift conduct of Dr Owen l lartley, a principal student described leaving Hartley's enthusiastic towards the end." Katherine Walls, a History student in action over student concerns, in line with teaching fellow in History.. had lad to a group after her Boa class. She had A spokesperson for the University her third year said: "I had a lecture by their continued focus on the student number of complaints from students of initially resigned herself to remaining in said it is policy not to comment on Hartley in the find term of my first year. experience in all aspects of University the School of Politics and International the dissertation group for the whole term, individual complaints MU continued in a he was pretty scary and rude particularly life. The Students' Union will continue to Studies IIPOLISI where Hartley. led a but on hearing that others were also statement: "Any concerns raised by our in the seminars. which I would dread, utunitor the situation and any students dissertation class last semester. The changing and to Politics department student% arc always investigated But it never really hothered me too with concerns about .apects of their written giesances culminated in a fonual were readily transferring students Fran thoroughly. If there is any breach of much. I think it was a method to course are encouraged to seek support complaint submitted to Hanley's parent lanley's class. she made the decision to University policy, we take swift and encourage first years to take Uni front the Student Advice Centre." department by Hugo Radice. the POLIS move. departmental head. "I walked into the seminar a couple nl The complaints concerned both Dr minutes bite and Dr Hanley commented Hartley's academic conduct w its regards on nay clothes in from of everyone in the to dissertation titles and his personal class; they were already sitting down and attitude towards students in his POLIS were mostly boys. I was just standing dissertation class. Some students toured then: and I could feel myself go bright Dr Hanley was dismissive towards red." she said. certain dissertation topics such ar 'The student said Dr Hartley feminism, others complained of his commented on the length of her dress. tovialisation of titles concerning the rule "I thought it was just inc being of the media in politics. Many alarmed sensitive but 1 was so embarrassed, students requested to transfer from When I realised that others had changed from class I did too. but I never lodged a Hartley' h dissertation class. The administration staff in the Politics °Mixt formal complaint." appeared to become accustomed to Another female student staved in reallocating students and squeezing them Hartley's class despite feeling uneasy into other dissertation classes led by that Hartley was vocal about how much alternative professors. he disliked her dissertation title and topic. Members of Dr Hartley's class were She said: "I wanted to do my title concerned that a dismissive attitude about the media and British politics, but towank their choice of dissertation topic Dr Hartley dismissed it, saying that most may adversely affect the mark that would authors who wrote about that kind of be given to their work. However. sonic thing were simply egotistical journalists students were also concerned that who wanted to write about themselves." Hartley's conduct towards the personal Dr Hanky is said to have deknded appearance and social class of his his treatment of dissertation titles in the students was inappropriate. and irrelevant early weeks as a tactical method of to their dissertation. ensuring that students were genuinely dedicated and interested in their chosen and cif Rerilie,'Ile of nfinority (2) • R.A.G. week • Tiger 'tiger (14 41, 2 Leeds Student www.leedsstudent.org.uk Friday, February 2, 2007 News

malty Week started rather unevent- would have worked. Then again, there were added; "Be a hit of payback for that shuck- for a bus before? I mumbled something fully in the Leeds Student office. other factors in play. Firstly, I had come ing initiation article really" We both looked about the sports section. and turned back to HMounds of pizza festered peacefully with the dashing, sporting Sample. whose to the top. Few mtgs. bit of an overhang, my figure of eight knot Later in the final in the corner. and the mould from the coffee shorts-dad legs were already been eyed up the top looked an unreachable distance heat the competition stakes were high. "fin mugs began to form its own democracy„ by the females of the group we joined at the away. going to get to the top" Sample declared

But for one reporter, this was the quiet Sports Centre, not to mention the looks his I started to make up excuses. This com- sportingly. "I'm going up there to place ray before the sporting storm. Bright and early harness recieved. Secondly, there were rep- petition (as this was what had conic about) Exec flag. If you make it, you can put a little rey Thursday morning, all-round sporting giant utations at stake. l had to fly the flag for was not really fair, seeing as I had been pit- Leeds Student one there as well" Enraging. Archie Sample bounded in. "Right, rave to Leeds Snuienr. ted against the Exec's finest athlete. On was never going to make it_ The wall looked Doo me about how good Healthy Week is" I Standing at the foot of the wall, roped hearing this. Archie was defensive of his like the opening scene from cliffhanger, and said. "Better than that. I'll show you" he and harnessed up. Sample gave me a daft' team mates. "Darnola's a natural gymnast, Archie had muscles I'd never even heard of.

Alex said. gerous locale "Leeds Student and the Exec Sarah's down the gym every day now, and Lucky for him, I was interviewing the Jess Linacre would definitely win a bleep instructors during his attempt. The flag By Part-time journalism aside. most of my working together eh? That'll he a first" he hobbies are typical of your average student, said. I gulped. Thirty leer up a wall on a test against us all" he said. By Goti,the Exec must have been lose, but the teamwork was quite easily performed in the seated posi- rope, I was going to be protected by one of were the Spaiizm army! "Who's the paper's fun. Alt, this 'fun' word I have adopted. The tion. ril just watch then, keep the bench the Exec. a group regularly harassed by us fittest athlete?" He had stumped me there. union has done its job:Healthy Week must warm. If it hadn't been tor the extraordinar- journos, harvested for quotes on every pos- The sword had cut the pert in half. I thought have affected me.FinaI score: Executive ily over-zeulous climbing instructor, this sible occasion. As if I needed reminding, he back to the office. Had any of us even run one. IS nil. Ethnic minorities 'least likely to get firsts' GLOBAL By Charlotte Griffiths

By Jessica Geen Collector said. "Having spoken to deliberately blocking students with Bill Rantmell, higher education many black students. it seems that the potential to get firsts The lack of minister, said: "The government is Students m an Aberdeen university people do feel that there arc forms of firsts among students from ethnic committed to ensuring that people were left bewildered when they institutional racism that are part of minorities is the tip of the iceberg of from all backgrounds and all sections were given an exam with the Black and Asian students arc less educational structures. Where there a much wider crisis. There is a higher of society have the opportunity to answers attached during their Janu- likely than their white peers to is anonymous marking. degree levels percentage of black students in non- benefit from and thrive in higher ary examination period. achieve a first ctuss degree, between black and white students are Russell Group universities. they're education. That is why we undertook The dozens of final year students according to a study published last not different, not really applying to the top ten this research and why we have of Robert Gordon University week. "that was the reason 1 first institutions. already asked the Higher Education arrived to their exam in Business The study. carried out by the instituted the campaign. also I found "My other concern is who we arc Academy and Equality Challenge Studies to find the marker's copy of Department for Education and Skills out that there are so many factors talking about when we say 'ethnic Unit to start immediate follow-up the exam paper placed on their desk (DIES), found that those least likely that affect other students. and that's minority students' - British students work with higher education by mistake. The students chose hon- to attain firsts were black Caribbean, why anonymous markets is or foreign students. If we take out institutions. to investiaate these esty over the easier option and alert- black African and Chinese students. necessary_ foreign students, many of our results further, ed invigilators to the mistake, The report said: "Although the "It's not just a race or gender campuses would he mainly white." "This work is supported by The exam has been rescheduled participation of students from issue. it's about students- feeling On the issue of employment Dr. Universities UK and GuildelE and and will take place later in the minority ethnic communities in confident enough to complain about Sewell said: "I do think this can have will build upon existing good month. A spokesperson of Robert higher education is higher than for a lecture_ Universities have to listen an impact on employment prospects. practice. We have to ensure that Gordon University said: "the stu- students from white communities, the to constructive criticism that students but the issue of where you got to every student regardless of race or dents were sitting the exam on Sat- attainment of those who complete a may have in order to improve the university is just as important - this sex is given equal opportunity to urday when the mistake happened. first degree programme his measured quality of teaching." is reflective of a much wider issue." succeed within higher education. The marker's version of the exam by class of deereel is markedly lower Doctor Tony Sewell, a former Dr. Sewell outlines three main This is both a social and economic paper, which included the answers. than that of their white peers." lecturer at Leeds University who now aspects of this "wider crisis" as the necessity." was distributed to the students in The study took into account runs the 'Generating Genius' project low percentage of black and Asian The study also found that while error and the exam was prcenptly factors such as gender, subject, prior said: "My view is that I wouldn't say students going to the top ten women outperformed men in other stopped by the invigilators. attainment and deprivation, hut said that universities per se were universities, the lack of support areas, they were less likely to "The university has procedures there remained an "unexplained available for students from ethnic achieve a first, and students at in place for the preparation and pro- difference" between ethnic minority minorities and the high drop-out rate Russell Group universities usually duction of exam papers. which students and white students. for black students, particularly from performed better. Mature students regrettably failed on this occasion. It also warned: " These results non-Russell Group universities. and those living at home were more A replacement exam, with a new potentially have quite serious He said: "There are a number of also likely to get a good degree. exam paper. has been scheduled implications, A number of studies things you can do to change this. The LUU Education Officer Beth which should minimise the impact have found that attaining a 'good' kind of things they've done in the US Forrester said: "Leeds has a very to our students. We have apologised degree carries a premium in the is to have free college programmes strong widening participation to all students concerned." labour market, and that this premium for students. The other thing is for programme, which targets all student The mistake of the Scottish Busi- has been increasing over time, as the the Russell Group universities to groups that may not automatically ness school coincidentally comes at higher education system has - think about how they entice ethnic consider applying to Leeds. It's not the same time that the Leeds Uni- expanded. As a result, there is a minority students onto their just for students from ethnic versity Business school is also suf- considerable cost attached to this campuses there may he issues of minorities, but also those from lower fering from the embarrassing conse- attainment gap identified in relation support and funding there. We need socin-economic groups and those quences of a mistake made on Janu- to minority ethnic students." to perhaps have a greater culture, who are first generation applicants, ary 16, when an exam paper was A campaign was launched in now that we're paying higher fees, of "The students' union is also handed out to students that was January 2006 by last year's LUU having scholarships for poorer cot-limited to this cause - it's a big identical to a past paper from 2004. Education Officer Ruqayyah students. The private sector should issue which we have raised with the The Leeds students have also Collector to introduce anonymous get involved offering scholarships vice-chancellor, trying to ensure that had to re-sit their exam recently. or marking at Leeds University. alongside the government." He the image of Leeds University is been subjected to a wait until sum- Research has shown that black added: "Qualitative research needs to truly representative and appealing to mer to sit the paper along with their students perform better when be done to find the reasons behind all our target groups. spring modules. assessed under anonymous CAMPAIGNER: Ruqayyah Collector these figures." conditions. PHOTO: LUU

Leeds Student newspaper - LS11 Editor - Ben Schofield / Associate Editor • Ky Capel / News . Alex Doorey, Charlotte Griffiths, Rachel Hunter & Paul Tait / Under the Radar Michael Wooldridge, Sam Ward & Stephan Page 1 Extra - James Gardiner & Phil Spooner 1 Comment Hind Hassan I Sport - Michael Niles, Adam Lord & Ahran Symonds-Baigl Photos • Patrick Nixon & Emma Daizell / Online - Barry Carlyon / Advertising assistant - Hannah Swales / Advert design • Rebecca Edlin Copy editors - Vicky Sharkey, Marya Yasin, Sarah Chadwell, Louisa May Cooper, Hayley Foy, Hollie Schofield, Kyle Green, Poppy Roberts, Graeme Nye, Lucy Killoch, Nicky Drummond, Rose Hampton, Maddy McGarrie, Luke Rushworth, Zahra Bakir, Ramey Alwakeel, Sophie Foster & Daniel Smith Leeds Student newspaper, Leeds University Union, PO Box 157, Leeds, LS1 1UH; (0113) 3801 450; editolsweb.org.uk To advertise email [email protected] Leeds Student www.leedsstudent.org.uk Friday, February 2, 2007 3 News Geography to launch new masters course in political activism By Charlotte Grifftths WaIcy, believes that the course will idea. He said: "I think it will be a valuable Guy Searle is often active in student degree in revolution. However, although reinvigorate staff at the department who addition, it is quite similar to a course that politics around campus and thinks that the the course will never ask you to put your find themselves occupied with more I did last tern called international personal drive behind activism cannot be life on the line, it will teach people how to The Geography department will launch mundane tasks in the department: "the development and rebellion. It was really taught in a lecture theatre, he said: "1 think get their paint across in the modem, Britain's first masters course in Activism department and faculty are extremely interesting and taught an alternative that the course can never teach the kind of bureaucracy entrenched climate, if that and Social Change in September next supportive and excited about the course" perspective to capitalism which I drink heroism and bravery that is required of can be taught effectively it is a good year. he said. His colleague. Stewart people need to know about." true activism, after all, Che didn't rued a thing." Elements of the course will include Hodkinson. is a research fellow and tutor 'action planning sessions' and modules in the course, he said: "We think there is a o' or. ago. - covering campaigning skills, using the big demand from students for such media and direct action. The course is the courses." first of its kind in Europe and aims to help A spokesperson for Friends of the students to develop skills to become Earth, Hannah Griffiths, thinks that the competent in active campaigning and course will create good candidates for social change. A spokesperson said: "the their organisation: "Friends of the Earth school is delighted to offer this ground. would be interested in working with breaking new Masters Programme in people who have been through this Activism and Social Change (ASC). It course." she said. "We look for people offers students an opportunity to be fully with a wide range of qualities. This course engaged in an innovative and original could help us to find people who have a interdisciplinary programme of research- real understanding of creating social led teaching and participatory study change and of activism in the UK" which brings together the worlds of Marlene Barrett of the World academia and progressive social Development Movement agrees, she said: campaigning. "I think this course is a good thing "Only here will you develop rigorous becau.se it will provide the opportunity to conceptual and theoretical understandings stimulate academic thinking on of resistance movements for change. alternatives to the neoliberal approach to engage with campaigners and development. strengthen links between practitioners struggling for a better world, the academic and development experienoe innovative assessment communities, and provide an opportunity methods such as action research projects, for campaigners to acquire particular and develop campaigning and research skills in campaign organising." skills to equip you for future work or James Wainwright is a Geography ACTIVE STUDENT: This may count as homework from next year study," Senior lecturer of the school, Pain finalist and thinks the course is a good PHOTO EMMA DALLELL `RentMe' goes by a new name

By Virginia Newman Park corner looks very professional Andrea Kerslake, the Housing and welcoming with glass sliding Specialist from the LUU Student doors and white modern furnishings" Advice Centre said that she has 'RentMe' tenants have been advised said one student searching for a place received no written confirmation that by the Student Advice Centre to to live next year. "When I asked deposits have been transferred over withhold rent payments until they whether the letting agency used to he from RentMe to PADS, although confirm a new company takeover. RentMe, the PADS assistant was Danielle Cooper said that Rent Me RentMe, the student housing very defensive but admitted that it were "in the process of transferring company which has provoked many was." them." complaints from its tenants has been When asked whether prospective Currently no conclusion has been bought out and renamed as 'PADS'. tenants should he worried about the added to this and the future for As Leeds Student understands, the bad press that RentMe has had in the Rent Me tenants and future PADS company Rent Me no longer exists past, a PADS representative claimed tenants is unknown. Kerslake said: but it is not known whether they that: "PADS is nothing to do with "1 have had a meeting with Danielle have gone bankrupt or simply RentMe as they have a new Cooper and despite many promises stopped trading. director." of action there has been little The new company PADS on He continued: "PADS has bought progress to date which is very Hyde Park Corner is located on the out RentMe and a couple of other disappointing." same premises which Rent Mc were companies. The reason that RentMe There are other issues of concern reported to be refurbishing, at a cost had so many problems was because that need to be resolved for students of 200K, by Leeds Student on they didn't keep up with property who are tenants with RentMe. October 27 2006. maintenance, but PADS has a Any Leeds student who has a The director of PADS Danielle maintenance section downstairs in contract with RentMe should e-mail Cooper has spoken to the LUU the office. Tenants of PADS should their contact details to Student Advice Centre. She said that be reassured that if they have any adviceMuu.leeds.ac.uk (with the she has taken over the management problems they can go into the office subject 'RentMe database') so that of the properties but is a managing and their concerns will be dealt the Advice Centre can contact agent rather than the owner of the with." students when they have further properties. Tenants currently with RentMe information such as what is Despite maintaining that her are still protected by law and their happening to deposits, and possible business is not the same as RentMe, contracts cannot he terminated or students entitled to compensation. she has taken on all the existing changed without their consent. Kerslake has advised tenants who RentMe staff and kept the new Problems relating to disrepair will rented from RentMe to stop all rent refurbished shop floor design in the now be taken up with PADS. payments until they have been same style, except for the name. University of Leeds students have informed in writing by RentMe that Danielle is also managing property not, to date. received any letters their contract and deposits have been PADS HQ: 'RentMe' gets taken over on behalf of Hedley Manton, the informing them to change rent transferred to PADS and that that is previous owner of RentMe. payments to PADS instead of who rent payments should now be PHOTO: Michael Liparoto "The new PADS office on Hyde RentMe, made to. ...41111

4 Leeds Student www.leedsstudent.org.uk Friday, Februrary 2, 2007 News Putting on a goo second annual h staff and students to discover new ways For those looking to stick to a new contemporary therapies were also a By Alex Dooley of improving and maintaining a healthy year's resolution, free gym entry was regular feature in the Healthy week lifestyle & state of mind. 1 ts offered before 9.30am, and students programme. Both pilates and yoga programme of over 70 events were also able to attend several were offered in month courses, along incorporates a wide range of both workshops for smoking cessation. with hot stone, aromatherapy and An exciting combination of physical physical and non-physical activities, More experienced athletes were not Indian head massages. and mental activities kick-started the offering day trips, language workshops forgotten. with reduced activity fees for Students did not even have to leave post examination season on Monday as and four week courses, some of which sports users and tournaments for tag- the house to particiapate, with healthy the University launched its second are available for free. rugby and badminton planned for the eating cooking demonstrations annual Healthy week. The Give it a Go programme was coming weeks. available to download as wcbcasts from Healthy week, a University and packed with taster sessions for students Relaxation techniques and the university website. LUU initiative, aims to encouraec both For those on campus, there were several healthy eating cookery sessions from top University chefs Simon Wood and Steve Perkins. Leeds Student went Want to make a difference to your along to learn how to cook a nutritious three-course dinner in under an hour. "We're using seasonal food, so it's university? cheap and easy to get hold or said Simon. "It's all local produce as well. so it has lots of flavour". The two chefs prepared a butternut squash, lime and ginger soup, stir fry and Then get involved with the Leeds pomegranate, rhubarb and pumpkin seed dessert all within 45 minutes, after which students were invited to taste. Student newspaper The chefs were very interested to hear feedback from the students. "We are looking for student advice, especially with the new Refectory opening soon" said Steve. "We are Come by the office at any time to cooking for a very wide audience, and have lots of new things planned, so we need feedback." see the Editor The chefs were also aware of the tight student budget. "All the stuff we are using can he picked up relatively cheaply" Simon said. "The pomegranates I'm using today, I picked Or come to a section meeting at two up for about a pound, and a butternut sqaush is about S9p. Leeds Market is particularly good, the food 5pm on Fridays, on 1st floor of the quality is excellent and it's cheaper than your local supermarket." Union building We also gave climbing a go, trying out the brand new facilities in one of several climbing taster sessions. After being fitted with harnesses and boots, students in small groups were taught the basics under expert supervision. Bill Jackson, the university's co- ordinating instructor, agreed that the Second year dies session was a good way to get into climbing at uni. He said: "Once you during exam period have given it a go, there are courses to complete, the learning to climb course is £15 for four weeks. "Then, with the basics, you can the university's new wall PHOTO: Univers:1y of Leeds come to climb by yourself or with friends". He also noted that the session looking at the courses on offer now, so might encourage students to look into that I could push myself beyond the climbing as an elective. "There is an points I reached today. and to make it a elective, where you come and learn bit of a challenge" Grads pay too Win flight about climbing, and about how to learn She also added that the session had to climb" he said. "We also do trips to encouraged her to try out the other much on loans with LUU Selside and the Lake District for things on offer over Healthy week. ___ 7. ..: ...-=-_:. • - — E. a_-_:....-7...L-.. ..t climbers." "I'm not booked on any of the other ---- '---. Faye, 33, is a Cultural Studies courses. but I'm still looking. As long .... .7. =Z...:,...... :: ;7:7. ....:::“.:""-. ■= 7. ru,...... = .=...... :...... . . student trying climbing for the first as its available. I'll have a go!" '" =:".7: --...xx time. "I actually got on the course by Over the next week (beginning ..' .:4":r... 'h'"... ‘...:. er.-17■:= . ==.1'''...... = ■ ...,..1...* ..... F4...... :::...... 1.:...... default, I was there when someone February 51, students will have the "2 ■=a ": ::= ...=... ,.... cancelled so I decided to have a go" she chance to go rifle shooting, bollywood rer.-.1 .,. ITT rz-,===. said, "I was a bit nervous at first, but it :7.1-.==- dancing. campaigning and pizza was really good. I'd be interested in making with top Pizza Express chefs. 11,••■=m-- 5

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Leeds Student www.leedsstudent.org.uk Friday, Februrary 2, 2007 4 CONTENTS

I r 9 I I I pg 3hree/lowdown i I i I pg 5ive/richard & chris i An I I and post I pg 6ix/the deviant's guide to i the I sport i arms I 1 I pg Flight/killing the night i 1 i pg 10en/spinning the wheel 1

I i pg 12welve/clubs I pg 14ourteeramusic i I i i pg 16ixteen/comicbook science 1 I i i pg 18ighteen/arts i i i I pg 20wenty/books I I i i pg 22wentytwo/tv i i I pg 30hirty/observations i i pg 3lhirtyone/diary

I I I I

1

I LS2/ Editor - Ben Schofield / Associate Editor - Steven Smith 1 Lowdown - Poppy Kemp & Olivia Marks / Features - James Gardiner, Phil Spooner & Jessica I I Parker / Music - Jonny Price & Joe Dennett / Clubs - Sophie Barnes, Vivien King Macdona & Katie Gilliland/ Arts - Mark Mackay & Torn Foster / Books - Chris I Tedd & Katie Dunn / Observations - Hind Hassan / TV - Andrew Edelston & Laurie Whitwell / Regulars - Richard Woolley & Chris Dixon / Stars - Melvyn . I Mussel / Photos - Patrick Nixon & Emma Dalzell / Design - 011ie Langride & Hanneka Kilburn / Chief copy editor - Vicky Sharkey / Copy I editors - Marya Yasin, Sarah Chadwell, Louisa May Cooper, Hayley Foy, Hollie Schofield, Kyle Green, Poppy Roberts, Graerne Nye, Lucy Killoch, Nicky 1 Drummond, Rose Hampton, Maddy McGarrie, Luke Rushworth, Zahra Balcir, Rarnzy Alwakeel, Sophie Foster & Daniel Smith / 1 I Front Cover - Patrick Nixon I Leeds Student newspaper, Leeds University Union, PO Box 157, Leeds, LSI lUTI: (0113) 3801 450; [email protected] I To advertise email [email protected] I L a pg2/coutents/1s2/020207 5

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analysed by ormally, I struggle for orrorrow night, as in Saturday, I advise you to stay White Face Paint way of the in. Don't leave your house. Sit in front of the telly A something to write in this allocated space, but this Who ever knew that :al Sciences, or have a long bath. Physical exertion is strictly 0 Nweek I'm lucky enough to have experienced T dressing up as a • linked to

forbidden (as it should always be). Don't worry. this uT something out of my usual mundane routine that I can goth/getsha/albino i". These isn't a sinister piece of advice. I'm not privy to some recount to you. This would be my birthday. My 21st could be so much fun. Bribed as information that there is, for example, an angry birthday, to be precise. I have finally reached that dreaded Did look a bit like a ve n ts which milestone that transforms you into a fully-fleged adult, and murderer on the loose who only strikes on Saturday

fie; psoriasis sufferer after a 0 nights.This is merely a helpful suggestion because I of the now everybody keeps referring to me as a 'woman' and while. 0 talking about 'womanhood'. I believe they are speaking in you're going to have to get up darn early on Sunday. as where the

a "CI slightly ironic tones but, still, it makes me feel a little That is only, however, if you want to bag youself a they were Betty's queasy. Perhaps it isn't so much the word but the tone of bargain at the Vintage Fashion Fain If you don't then A he list of voice in which it is said. It sounds far too much like womb you can stop reading this now, go out and get boozed In Ilkley, Harrogate and as the death for my liking and I don't want anything growing in there for ■up to your eyeballs and stay in bed all day Sunday. But somewhere else in is interesting a while yet. But then there's nothing like a 21st birthday for you'd be seriously missing out. This greatly BE Yorkshire...lovely cream Wallace a

being made a fuss of. Flowers. presents, cards, food, booze, anticipated event run by two people called Sam and e teas, smashing sarnies .cnt "But it is •ourse most hugs and kisses. How lovely. I probably won't get that again Sally (I don't know their surnames) has been going for and milky milkshakes! cr where they until I'm thirty. And I'm nor exactly counting down the days a few years now. This coming fair is the first of three Fucking pricey but bloody worth it. plc in our 'ill then. That's supposing however that I won't have this year and promises to be even more spectacular .•ertandy the

anything to celebrate in the next nine years, which is a than previous ones owing to its new location: Leeds uo time." depressing thought. So - who knows? - maybe last City Town Hall. Sally said of the new venue that "Leeds Neil Hamburger weekend's festivities will be repeated before I enter my Town Hall is perfect for our fairs for two reasons. The Find him on YouTube 'dirty thirties'. I bloody hope so. OM venue is still in the centre of the city, only a five minute and laugh until your tits sus walk from the train station and, secondly, the stunning "sp drop off. So not funny Victorian architecture of the Victoria Hall will provide • he's funny. Especially ness e a stunning backdrop and fitting atmosphere for both when telling the joke • our stall-holders and shoppers." There's nothing more about Michael Jackson's I love than atmospheric shopping, but it's sometimes plate of sperm... hard to come by. Shoppers have been advised to get .oal and Trans there early - doors open at 9am and close at 4pm - to holding an find the real bargains. Make sure you give yourself ich will ample time to browse the 65 stalls of dresses, hats, John-Paul McQueen run Coffee Hour bags, shoes all ranging from the 1900s to the 1980s. It's So much courage, this le Are of the also an idea to take a friend who has a different taste little fella. We were the 1.0,men tadi.. ii, ttletr 305. _.altar tno roily try-ulag almost moved to tears 12 and 2. from you or is a different size: otherwise, a fist fight when he finally told C ye on issues could be on the cards.You've got to draw a, line at he loved him. Hopefully munity. and scene-, as though we. on a weekly basis, are violence; no dress is worth a broken nose. OM t won't start getting called ovided on a recommending to you more decadent places to go and L91 John-Paul McQueen exuul health, Ieat delicious, nutritious food. This is because we both history. think food is wicked.Yes. that's right, wicked_ However, I am a GBT society notoriously fussy eater and struggle with shellfish, tuna, large CR •s, and some tomoatoes and beans. Olivia is less so_ But we both share a No texts or calls all the free love of greasy spoons and fried goods and have decided to When you've had your provided on pool this hot, sexy Iove into The Four Cousins, the best greasy phone on all day and little cafe for miles around. Just off Briggate in a little have received no texts • week will calls. notot even from alleyway that stinks of eggy shit (but please don't let that put the 7th of you off), it seems to be stuck firmly in the fifties, from the old- 0 your mu.mum. Is kind of the of the LGBT fashioned menu written up on the wall to the geriatric till that icing on a very slut cake, night is run sounds like it's going to blow up every time a bill is wrung. st You sit in booths (so if you are of a 'larger' size, steer clear: with awdnSeer-a• the space between the tables and the booths is disarmingly February even better. narrow) and, when buying a can of pop (Diet Coke, if you Tudar...the wreng sort at vintage. It's not a top month is it? on lower please), you are allowed to pick it yourself out of the fridge (1) Valentine's Day ilator Disco) once having paid for it. Now, you don't see McDonald's giving (depressing and you that sort of trust now, do you? The menu is slightly Overheard... pointless), weather (cold worrying in parts. For example, you can order 'a chicken leg' CR and damp) and bank or 'farmhouse grill' .What either of these really consist of is ...when does Spring start?...I took a dog-worming pill holidays (none). Roll on bad slightly unnerving. It ain't too pricey neither, with your bog from New Zealand...1'w got a fat fanny and it's got goo March. standard fry-up coming in at £4.25. OK, you'll have to trudge coming out of it...1 take photographs of tools and that down in a hangover fug and try to beat off that sweaty brow r for B&Q...There are so many retards that work on and those heart palpitations but we can assure you it'll be Willeas...they were known as Edwin De La Whiteslcin thoroughly worth It. Or you could stay in your bed, eat and Edwin De La Blackslcirt...1 can't believe 1 fell in Skins liege. Union shit...Johnny are you fat or toned?_..Are you apples, drink water, get up and go to the gym and sweat the A lot of hype. A lot of shit. hat first class alcohol out of your pores. But where's the ruddy fun in that? picturesque?... isidiscd with oils. 'help kit' for rn or hourly- There are several different types of laugh and we have been known to employ them all when reacting to 0 part of the 5 Laughs something amusing, like a funny gag or a road accident. Here are a few of our favourites. better terms Top 1. The Titter - Used in a polite situation like an awkward knock-knock joke or a pun.You're usually Mk) plus staff internally thinking "God, this guy's a dick". 2.The Guffaw - For use when attempting to emulate Brian Blessed, or when something is so Sleep depravation try contracts. funny it requires max volume. Like laughing when someone falls off a swivelly chair. 3. The Snigger When someone says something really Makes you feel so ill it's which innappropriate that just isn't funny. Generally used for laughing at someone's expense. 4. The Silent Laugh - Our editor uses this on dates, not true. Sometimes it's some so if you go on one with him you'll know what to expect. Apparently it's kind of alluring. Could also be interpreted as being kind of brilliant to fall asleep Itooww-evherave tike perverted. S.The Monotone Outburst - Olivia uses this one a lot, as if she is expelling a demon from her throat. Kind of a nasal scream when really tired, but not that is very annoying (especially in the Eddie B) but highly effective. And infectious. when you've got shaloads 0 seated use of to do. Then it's just ademic staff words/ poppy and Olivia (soloists) inconvenient. ifies with too g to provide oeiuth on the

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Leeds Student www.leedsstudent.org.uk Friday, Februrary 2, 2007 4 N( MEM I Want to write for Leeds Student?

Fridays, 5pm. LS Office First floor, LUU.

hiS pit am. a a..1 a an■war LI., 7.44, Hockey shame Lecturers plan strike

5

s tolerance a white elephant? I, to the very core of my being, WS This is the impression I got loathe Emile Ardolino's 1987 film I picking my way through Dirty Dancing. I will not hear it January's papers. A huge amount of championed, praised, defended or comment and analysis was churned excused. It is, in my opinion, one of out over the Equality Act, the new the worst examples of celluloid ill b' legislation on homosexual adoption, perversity ever to come out of the and 'tolerance' was the watchword despicable mire of the 1980s. To of all of it. On one hand it's a witness its washed out ties disgraceful attack on religious charmlessness on screen, to hear its at people can authority and morality to force appalling soundtrack of pre-Beatles e during the power pop, to see its semi-sexual email/ [email protected] Catholic adoption agencies to attacks inure cover in a video shop, puts me in a richard is an english finalist accept gay subscribers. On the other, it's a gross infringement of state of high discomfort. I will not search which human rights not to allow a same- tolerate it, it jars with my beliefs, to analysed by sex couple to adopt a child if they accept it as a worthy piece of sway of the can provide it with a stable home. cinema would be to kill off a small :al Sciences, There's a fifty word summary. Over part of my soul, the part that allows linked to the past week and a half, discussion me to make the distinction between s". These must have exceeded the word-count good and bad. scribed as of a decent-sized novel, and the I am also painfully aware that a events which issue hasn't moved an inch in either lot of people quite like Dirty resonance". of the event direction. Dancing. I disagree with such as where the So here's a hypothesis: one side people; they are very subtly, almost a they were has to lose out, so let's pick one and invisibly, different to me. Thankfully the list of get it over with. Riding roughshod I am not obliged to agree with them, as the death over belief systems can be, at times, to watch the film, to enjoy it. So long is interesting indelicate, but at least it gets things as such activities take place in my Wallace a done. What's the point in freedom of absence, such people are entitled to lent "But it is the press if everyone's going to say enjoy whichever film they wish, if -nurse most more or Iess the same thing without they apply to me for sympathy I will where they any ignorant posturing, pig shoot them down without mercy. epic in our headedness or downright Forcing the Church to accept certainly the belligerence? If the Church (that old legislation it believes to be immoral r ime." y is it that the decor in stu- dent when an ironic picture of bastion of authority and is to destroy a small part of what dent houses frequently Margaret Thatcher sprung up next to discrimination) has lost its ability to makes it the Church. This not only Wdresembles a savage clash Jimmy Hendrix on our stairs, but yet it persuade the government, it would undermines its ability to make sts between generations and tastes? 1 was OK to have a signed Hollyoaks seem that the once proud judgements based on scripture (the realise that landlords would rather Hunks calendar alongside The draconianism of religion has been basic right of any religion), it also !ness spend our deposits on flash cars so Independent Guide to Europe Facts altered to fit a culture of discussion eliminates the essential that they can hurtle around Hyde Park and Figures? My three years at without resolution, where bias 'differentness' upon which Britain's at breakneck speed, but I'm not ask- University have seen me live at five becomes heresy. Everybody now is supposed diversity is built. ing for much. My requests are sim- different locations. I think that the just too scared of causing offence. Everybody disapproves of ual and Trans ple. constant shifting from one too level headed and neutral to something, to ignore this is to holding an Firstly, I plead with them to strip homogenised student house to anoth- make the papers, well, interesting. ignore what makes us British: the rich will run down the seventies wallpaper featur- er has evoked this desire to retain I fully support legislation to allow fact that secretly, deep down we all Coffee Hour ing the shell-shaped pattern which 'permanents'; recognisable, comfort- gay couples to adopt children, and I completely hate each other's guts. he Arc of the pollutes our entire house. The pat- ing images that will make each place fully support the right of the Hallelujah. 12 and 2. tern makes me feel sea-sick, not least feel more like a home. Either that or I Catholic Church to disapprove of ve on issues because they chose to paint my room have really bad taste. So what is your this. You live in a liberal fantasy imunity• and fuchsia and accompany the bizarre excuse? The guys who have the 6 x 4 world if you think that a 2000 year ovided on a pattern with baby blue skirting poster of two scantily-clad women old religion is going to change its 3:exual health. boards. Instead of a relaxing oasis in kissing displayed above their fire- doctrine, just this once, because the ' history. which to improve my mind, I feel place, how do they justify it? Imagine British government wants to .GBT society overwrought because of the resem- the horror of going round to your par- promote a (false) image of harmony is and some blance to a playgirl's bedroom. I ents' house to and a photograph of a between groups which, at base all the free sprawl on the bed in an uncharacter- woman doing DIY in her underwear level, disagree. provided on istic manner and strike poses while (dangerous, not to mention cold) sus- bathed in a pinky hue. It is weird and pended next to the family pictures on week will it must stop. the mantelpiece. I can only assume the 7th of Secondly, I realise that allowing there is some kind of ID system of the LGBT students to use their fireplaces would whereby people go to the indecent night is run be a gross misjudgement. I only poster shop and have to prove their 1 one was a need to remember the story of the age and bad taste credentials before . with a new poor guy who got his bollock blown they are allowed to take one home. even better. off at Reading festival after jumping What about the people who have k. on lower over a fire...on which some bright images of Audrey Hepburn adorning lam Disco/ sparks had thrown multiple gas canis- their bedroom walls? Screen god- ters. Alas, the neanderthal within us dess, yes, but have you actually seen all prevents us from using this facility, any of her films? If the answer is yes, but why must you block these period I will be dining on my beret tonight. bad pieces up with huge iron sheets? Retro films and gratuitous sex posters Houses in LS6 display the finest of are staples of the student decor diet. CU prison-chic; iron bars on windows, More interesting is the 'George email/ [email protected] Bushisms' poster that springs up from chris is a broadcast journalism finalist iron bars on doors and iron bars in liege Union time to time_ Oh yes, let's have a fists. At the risk of sounding a little at first class good old laugh at the silly man, ho ho too Kirsty Allsop, I beg to know why sidised with ho, but the laugh is on you if you fail this trend continues in the interior? MS_ My fury at unsettling decor is to realise that the silly man holds the help kit' for unrelenting. 1 also blame The key to alleviating the rapid increase or hourly- in global warming, not to mention the Guardian for producing their bizarre part of the series of posters featuring Crops. keys to an immense nuclear arsenal. better terms Amphibian Pets and Cattle because, If you cannot see the irony in a man who admits that "a lot of reports in 00 plus staff of course, when I open my paper and contracts. am faced with a choice between pic- Washington are never read by any- which came body," criticising other world leaders, tures of two dozen varieties of tomato ns that sonic then we are all doomed. and my sick wallpaper. my interior ow have the design instincts are flung out of the WCVer, the window. ated use of I wonder what the wall decorations adernic staff in people's homes say about them. I ties with too felt a bit too much like a wacky stu- g to provide 'h on the pg5/regulars/ls2/2601 07 downkKid tpack Friday, Februrary 2, 2007 4 Leeds Student www.leedsstudent.org.uk Nei I THE D T'S GUIDE TO SPORT

FORGET THE USUAL RELIGIOUS, CLASS AND POLITICAL DIVISIONS IN SOCIETY: IS SPORT - OFTEN THOUGHT OF AS A UNITING FORCE - ACTU- ALLY THE UNSPOKEN POLEMIC? An e and I post r here's a list of bullet points in front of me is a state of complete physical, mental and social again" and "It's fun!". Is it? "Yes!" How? "I'm not the I and a selection of incisive, cutting well-being, and not merely the absence of disease sure, it just is." A slightly less typical perspective, annua quotes, all waiting impatiently to take or infirmity." You smug bastards. Me and the sport- "There's something amazing about being out on the He their place in this, my deviant's guide to ing mentality stopped getting on some time ago. river at six in the morning, in the freezing cold, sport. But just like the activity itself, those Being thrown off the school hockey squad three being rained on" (rowers are a notoriously insane wildT aspirations to achieve great things hover out of times and banned from the tennis courts for sporting species). Another acquaintance, (now ex- reach because I simply can't get started (please "improper use of tennis balls" (it's not what you acquaintance due to this very reply), "I need it. It's ignore the fact that I already have). Perhaps the think) can do that to a person. Now it's like when an my escape. I'm addicted!" This corresponded to beginning of this article will be the beginning of my atheist meets a devoutly religious person - the athe- another explanation of why to do sport, "For endor- new healthy life, inspired by Healthy Week - daily ist wonders, "How can you possibly think and live phins, like, y'know it's kinda like cocaine." So, trips to the gym, sprinting to and from Uni wearing this way?" whilst the religious devotee is thinking, apparently, sport means free drugs. a heavy rucksack and doing one hundred sit-ups "I'm saved, you're screwed." Yet I still don't feel overly tempted. ff I were to every night before bed whilst greedily gulping In an effort to try and penetrate the sporting become a sporting type (and we are now entering down vast quantities of Evian as opposed to the mentality it seemed the obvious step to simply ask the realms of fantasy) then there now looms the fear usual Snakebite. Perhaps not. Ponderings on exer- my more sport-orientated acquaintances what moti- of falling into one of the three categories of 'sports cise, for those of us who generally avoid it, often vated them. I say acquaintances as I realised just personality' that seemed to emerge during the include words like 'perhaps', 'if' and 'maybe'. My how few of my actual friends liked or did any sport. above brief, but penetrating interviews. It is a own delusional approach means even the odd Perhaps sporting types all clump together in sport- choice between the Dependant, the Unwilling or the imperative is slipped in, "I will go to the gym at ing enclaves to be sporty together, hiding away Gung-ho! To be the Dependant would mean to be nine-thirty" or "I will join the hockey team, run from dreaded flaccid bodies and smokers' coughs. insufferably obsessed with sport, diet, calorie around a muddy pitch, hit that thing (what is it Or perhaps that's just my roundabout way of intake, getting a 5-daily fitness fix and failing that, again? Oh a ball!) and not run away if someone hits describing a football pitch. Regardless, those suffering agonising fits of despair for missing out it at me." sportsmen and women caught outside of their on those essential exercise routines as dictated by I was supposed to go to the gym this morning. I enclaves would surely help me make the proverbial today's most fanatical health magazine (whatever was supposed to go to a cringingly entitled, 'Legs, transition from the damned atheist (unhealthy) to that may be, I've no idea). To be the Unwilling Bums and Turns' class tonight. I didn't and I'm not. the paradise-bound devotee (and proud possessor would mean gloomily trotting off to the gym sporad- Healthy Week doesn't seem to be rubbing off on me of a God-like physique). So, the brilliantly cutting- ically, puffing and panting away on an exercise at all and looking on the campus website's Healthy edge question posed was. "What motivates you to bike, weakly doing weights and probably eating a Week link for inspiration proved, not only ineffectu- do sport?" Typical answers were - "Dunno really, pizza an hour later because you know that you burnt al, but positively nauseating. Our university has keep fit and healthy"; "I don't want to be fat"; "I an extra 193 calories today. The Gung-ho! seems the quoted from the World Health Organization, "Health used to be fat and am scared if I stop, I'll be fat most happy breed of sportsperson, if not the most

SUMO: About as healthy as darts. ■1111 AMMin I pg6/adeviants'quidetosports/Is2/020207 5 annoying. They enjoy team games, being matey with fellow team-mates and outrageous Otley Runs. It 's all a bit jolly-hockey-sticks, Mallory Towers, Moosey the Mascot and lets all sing the 4th Volleyball Team's special motivational song_ But at feast this strand of sport seems to reward its partici- ulb' pants with something more than guilt-alleviation. Unfortunately, being one of those people prone to cringe at the very mention of God Save the Queen 'les and more likely to punch Moosey the Mascot than at people can hug him, the Gung-hoers! don't seem to offer any e during the salvation for me either. I could most easily ally attacks MOTE myself with the Unwilling but that would require my dutifully trotting off to the gym some time this week. search which One comfort for those people who consistently analysed by fail to even reach one on the sport-o-meter is the way of the well-known fact that those with biceps don't have al Sciences, brains. Certainly this is a flawed assertion but, in linked to addition to my friend the endorphin-cocaine addict, s". These there is evidence suggesting that some of our most Gritted as events which successful sporting heroes lack the necessary men- I resonance". tal faculties to even speak properly. Here it would e'of the event be all-to-easy to simply cough the name of David as where the Beckham and leave it at that but I shall endeavour they were to do more. For example, in one of those enlighten- the list of ing post-match interviews Thierry Henry declared as the death in a moment of revelatory genius, "Sometimes in is interesting football, you have to score goals." Even to someone Wallace a whose footballing interest only extends to occasion- ern "But it is ally pretending to support Manchester United 'nurse most. (because, aged nine, I decided Ryan Giggs was where they uncommonly beautiful) this statement betrays vie in our something more than mere ineloquence. Then certainty the there's the English moustache-legend, Ian Rush. His :time," following observation certainly gave the impression that little lay behind the 'tache, "1 couldn't settle in Italy — it was like living in a foreign country." Was it sts Ian? Strange, that, You might smell the rat of sour grapes here, as !ness well as cliched overuse of mixed metaphors. However, I assure you, my patronising assault on the likes of Mr Henry and Mr Rush have nothing to do with the fact that my friend's video-game, the Wit ual and Trans console, recently estimated my fitness to be that of holding an a sixty-two year obi. That's only forty-three years off Lich will run the mark. And it was a stupid test anyway. Coffee Hour So, I've been pushed out of real-life P.E. and can't he Arc of the even console myself electronically (as scrawny, 1 12 and 2. gawky teenage boys tend to do) by improving my ve on issues computerised sporting techniques (unless I wish to smunity. and suddenly age four decades). The only thing left is to ovided tin a take the sport out of sport. Howard Cosell, an --surd health, American sports journalist, wrote, "Sports is human history. life in microcosm". This could be interpreted in .GIST society many ways. For example, sport demonstrates the s and some human's egocentric and competitive pursuit of suc- all the free cess, glory and recognition at the expense of their provided on peers. Sandy Lyle, the Scottish golfer, puts it a little more succinctly, "It's not whether you win or lose - week will but whether I win or lose.' Or you might prefer the the 7th of LA Daily News writer, Michael Ventre's more humor- of the 1...GLIT ous sociological analysis of sport as a microcosm. "1 night is run think my favourite sport in the Olympics is the one st one was a in which you make your way through the snow, you with a new stop, you shoot a gun. and then you continue on. In even better. most of the world, it is known as the biathlon, ik. on lower except in New York City, where it is known as win- eater Disco) ter." So that sport when a group of men in rather short shorts, all pumped up and highly charged, proceed to run at each other, grab and fondle any bits they can lay their hands on and then have a bad communal bathroom experience. In most of the world it's known as rugby. Except in Leeds where JCU it's known as Mission on a Thursday night. No, it's no use. Even attempting to approach sport 'liege Limon in a GCSE sub-standard sociological way doesn't that first class seem to be doing it for me. Perhaps I should give bsidised with up and resort to my old habit of insulting our ions. national sport at every opportunity by way of com- 'help kit' for pensating for my own personal lack of sporting or hourly- aptitude. It isn't difficult to ridicule the spectacle of .; part of the twenty-two grown men prancing around a patch of ± better terms grass, chasing a small round object and trying to • (MX) plus staff kick it, head it or even chest it between a couple of ary contracts. white posts. However, the sociologist Robert Lynd which came has a few well chosen words that render even this ins that some peripheral sporting pleasure obsolete. "It may be now have tee " It's that all games are silly. But then, so are humans. GET YOUR PECS OUT: This is not our Sports lowcver, the hard to argue with that. Correspondent, Jess. This will probably eat your peated use of dog. oitletnic staff words/ Jessica parker :fries with too ig to provide search on the

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Friday, Februrary 2, .007 4 Leeds Student www.leedsstudent.org.uk Nei I KILLING THE NIGHT IT WAS HEMMINGWAY WHO SAID 'NOBODY GOES TO BED IN

An er MADRID UNTIL THEY'VE KILLED THE NIGHT', AND THE and ti putt e CITY'S TRUE VIBRANCY LIES OFF THE BEATEN TRACK. LS2 the annua He HAS THE LOWDOWN ON THE SPANISH CAPITAL'S HOTSPOTS LIT()

adrid is a lively and exciting des- enter the depths of the basement live bands play and Saturday tination all year round as Latin Americans come together for an unforgettable It's definitely worth forcing yourself out of bed to see Spaniards don't tend to hiber- fiesta_ what Madrid has to offer by day. Coffee in the Plaza nate when it gets a bit chilly. In If you fancy moving on then La Latina is a ten Mayor, although pricey and touristy is a beautiful fact, they continue to sit out on minute walk and a more trendy but equally as invig- way to start before walking to Opera (Metro Linea 5) terrazas to drink their beer just orating barrio. Join the hoards of young (and incred- to take in the Opera House and Palacio Real. asM they would at 40', so unless you can think of a real- ibly fit) Spaniards around Plaza San Andres where Although the Spanish royals live in a somewhat more ly good excuse - Why not join them? any one of the numerous bars is worth a peek. La modest abode now it's definitely worth a visit to see Taberna del Zapatero (C/Almendro) serves up damn possibly the world's longest dining table and meet Friday Night tasty tapas, whilst ever-busy Corazon Loco on the the peacocks. Check in and head to Madrid's most multi-cultural same street is a must if you can find space to perch Museo de Jamon (C/Arena]) is a nearby place to barrio, Lavapies (Metro Linea 3) at around lOpm. This on top of one of the beer barrels. Head on to Plaza de grab some authentic Spanish munch (but not if gritty yet enchanting area is a slice of real Spanish la Paja and if you fancy a Sex and the City style cock- you're vegetarian) and join the locals as they choose youth culture as they pack into the completely tail cross over C/Segovia and Into Corgui (C/Rollo, ham from the cured legs which hang from the ceil- unpretentious and no-frills bars where a caila (small 8). But remember to save yourself for a dance in ing. Sandwiches are under €2 or a 4 course menu del beer) only costs £1 and the conversation flows. While Manila Cafe (C/Cafios Viejos 3), impressively dia is €8. Jump on the metro at Sol and head to Retiro here it's worth trying some Moroccan or Indian cui- placed underneath the Puente de Segovia this cosy park (metro linea 2) for some boating or a stroll. sine for which there are restaurants in abundance. locale plays all things funky until Barn and is free if From here you will definitely be walking a well- and exploring the streets leading off from Plaza you get there by 2am (€8 with a drink afterwards). trodden tourist route but you can't leave Madrid Lavapies (Calle Lavapies, Ave de Maria and de if you're still standing at closing time climb up the without visiting at least one of the incredible art Argumosa). Personal favourites are El EconCimico or steep steps to C/Bailen and sit on the grass outside museums. Most people start with El Prado (Paseo del EficaIipto (C/de Argurnosa) where you can have Las Vistillas if you fancy watching the sun come up Prado). although a beast of a museum and worth fresh fruit cocktails and (if you're feeling posh), the over La Catedral de las Almudena. doing over several visits, it's definitely worth a trip if most coveted rum to come out of Cuba and just to see Picasso's Guernica or Goya's Black drunk by Castro himself, a snatch at €30 a shot. Paintings in all their glory. If you've got the stamina If you're staying in Lavapies, check out El Thyssen-Bornemisza is on the same street and my Artepolis on C/Olivar; an arts personal favourite, the Reina Sofia has all things centre from above, modern and is just around the corner; but if you however if you're still recovering from the night before I'd avoid too many trips in the glass lifts. (All museums are free for entry on Sundays so you can always go back for more tomorrow). Football fans may

1s2/pg8/killingthenight/b32/020207 5

sary I'd stock up on grease early on. If salsa is ws your thing there are plenty of Salsatecas in this area although I'd avoid the slimier vari- eties which allow girls in for free and charge a termer if you're a bloke. Now it's time to join the cool kids in Malasana. From Gran Via turn down C/Hortaleza and get ready to partake in the fiesta of your life. Trendiness ies very much exists in Madrid but often it people can in an effortlessly natural way. Start during the off with a chilled drink in Angles ,attacks more (C/San Vicente Ferrer 4), which plays an eclectic mix of old and earch which new rock. 1 would however, analysed by ensure a trip to El perro de is vay of the pane atras del coche or 'The al Sciences, nodding dog' (C/Puebla) linked to owned by an English These dude often found wear- cribed as ing fancy dress, this vents which underground jewel resonance". has only one priori- of the event a where the ty: FUN. Music they were ranges from pop to he list of rock to dance to Sesame the death Street and Inspector Gadget if s interesting so if you're not a music snob not for the Wallace a then go with the Bow, take unbeatable tortilla cot "But it is what the god-like DJ raised espaRola or albondigas ourse most up on his alter gives you (meatballs), then just to experience where they and enjoy until 3am. the quirky establishment which has been in pie in our But save some energy, as the night the family for over 50 years and whose walls are ertainly the is still so young. Depending on your taste I'd recom- adorned with 200 vintage radios. However, on this time." want mend Bar y Co (Caere() 34) for a funky mix of Latin. day of rest everyone is out and about relaxing and to head acid jazz and hip-hop or Nast! (C/San Vicente Ferrer enjoying life and this atmosphere is felt in any one of ts straight to the leg- 33) for indie, New York disco-punk and synthesized the bars in the area, so see what you find; I personal- endary Santiago Bernabeu pop music. Both are small and attract a friendly ly couldn't think of a nicer way to spend a Sunday stadium (Avenida Concha Espina 1, crowd who don't mind sweating it out together on the afternoon. ess Metro: Nuevos Mirusterios, linea 9). Tours run all day dance floor. For a more spacious and up market and pretty well give you the freedom to snoop about. affair, join the VIPs round the corner at Pacha What the natives know... (C/Barcelo 11) - if the bouncers deem you suitable If you're short on cash then don't miss El Tigre Saturday Night for entry. that is. (C/Infantas 30. Metro: Gran Via, lines 5). It's worth al and Trans Life isn't rushed in Madrid and unless you Lucky's and Pitzakano are replaced squeezing into this always jam-packed little place holding an want to be dining solo, I by traditional Spanish early morning and remember NOT to order food! With every cider ch will run wouldn't munch in the form of chocolate and chur- you get a plate of yummy tapas. Bargain. Coffee Hour ros, so when the clubs chuck you out at e Arc of the 7am. take a diversion to Chocolateria San For some truly authentic flamenco music find 12 and 2. Gines (Pasadizo de San Gines II, Metro yourself a seat in La Soled (Cava Baja 34_ Metro: La c on issues Sol), and enjoy this calorifically charged Latina, linea 5). It really depends who shows up as triunity, and treat in a place that has been serving there is no officially 'planned' entertainment and the waded on a them up to hungry Spaniards [or over a performers may well be sat at your table and you exual health. hundred years. won't realise till they pipe up singing from their seat. history, Be patient and be prepared for anything and you will 0131 society Sunday experience flamenco in its purest form. s and some Get a couple of hours kip (and that's all the free generous in Madrid) and get yourself to If you're looking for a special restaurant; upmarket, provided on one of the largest flea markets in young and very cool La Viuda Blanca Europe, El Rastro between 9am-2pm (C/Campomanes 6. Metro: Opera, linea 5) serves up week will (C/Ribera de gourmet delights in a modern setting and is perfect the 7th of Curtidores, Metro: for a memorable occasion. f the 1.GBT La Latina). This is a night is run splendid place to words/ nina derham t one was a spend any . with a new remaining euros even better. on anything ik. on lower from clothes dator Disco) and CDs to knick- knacks and chestnut 1 bad frying pans ... ICU whatev- er your liege Union inter- hat first class ests isidised with may be. ons. Even more exciting 'help kit' for go out before is when the market m or hourly- 10pm. Head to metro Sol, and join a winds down and La part of the the majority of tourists and a whole lot of Spaniards Latina teems with better terms who tend to use the 'Leicester Square' of the city to people eating, )00 plus staff meet up. I wouldn't linger too long but head up drinking and gen- try contracts. towards Plaza Santa Ana by weaving your way erally being merry which came and should not be through the tiny yet thriving streets. This is an area ns that some called Huertas, and is frequented by tourists and missed. I espe- tow have the cially recom- natives alike. Follow the crowd and sample tapas to owever. the your heart's content or even a kebap (otherwise mend El Meson vated use of del Rastro known as 'kebab'). You won't find one in the early adernic staff (C/Santa Arta 8) hours as you may do in Leeds so if you feel it neces- ties with too g to provide earch on the

download a Ipack Friday, Februrary 2, 2007 4 Leeds Student www.leedsstudent.org.uk Neid 1 SPINNING THE WHEEL lova An ex and in post e) the U annua IN THE AFTERMATH OF THE LIBERALISATION OF THE UK'S let LU U GAMBLING LAWS, LS2 DIPS TWO OF ITS BIGGEST TOES INTO LEEDS' BETTING CIRCLES

ike and I sheepishly wander into worlds gambling machines and a population of only 20.2 (after a long pause) that he was addicted, but could do the Grosvenor Casino. Fortunately it znilliorn without it. does not take us long to find 'M', a Turning later to roulette, M had found his game of Having never been to a casino in my life I was not sure hardcore gambler. He loses in the choice, journeying round the country's casinos seeking of what to expect. My expectations were not quite as region of £600 each week- Sitting at one of the casino's coffee tables, he'sM surveying the scene of the gambling floor while supping the free coffee that the waiter offers It does not take us long to find 'M', a hardcore periodically. He talks to us with an honest smile as he answers our gambler. He loses in the region of £600 each questions eagerly. He emanates pride, as if he is schooling us into his world. As he goes off to the toilet we week. Sitting at one of the Casino's coffee tables, realise that "we've hit the jackpot" M asked us to keep his identity secret. As a child he he's surveying the scene of the gambling floor revelled in swindling his classmates in card games for sweets and pocket money, His casino adventure, while supping the free coffee however, began in Sydney. He won £2,000 playing blackjack Australia is a country with gambling problems of its own, having 20% his fortune. His greatest exploits were turning £5 to 1.65k high as the glitz and glamour of casinos immortalised in of the and L20 to 5.5k. He talked in large sums of money like James Bond Films, but the lack of atmoshere at the they were toys, although he was clearly not rich. Grosvenor was a shock. Passing the hotel-like reception Significantly, he was unsure of his losses, and staircase, the Wetherspoons style decking of the although many of his heavy ones casino room is cheap and tacky. The bright lights and were certainly in the thousands. airport carpets are decidedly unwelcoming. In my jeans Asked whether he was and brown shoes I felt a bit overdressed. addicted, he replied This was one of many things that had changed significantly.There used to be a strict dress-code, which

M admitted he missed. Losing thousands of pounds in scruffy clothes seems somehow more pathetic. Access to casinos has also become "drastiralty" more relaxed. Previously you needed a passport and there was a 24 hour wait. Now you can march in with no more than the flash of a debit card, wearing a tracksuit. People were chain smoking all around. M proudly stated that he had only had 3 cigarettes that day, he confessed that he would have bought some, but with a pack of 16 for £6.60 he abstained. "That'll be quite interesting, when the non-smoking ban comes through. I mean 5 what'll they do?" He asked pointing around to the We get to the subject of religion. He admits he is a story of haw he got into heavy gambling was apparently WS punters with their fags in hand. Indeed the August Christian. "You know what all the numbers add up to on a the norm for most of the guys. He was going through a smoking ban will undoubtedly damage English casinos roulette table... 666." He said with a chuckle. "God is divorce and lost custody of the kids. He had a "fuck the as was felt after the ban with Scottish casinos. punishing me for being in this sinful place." Mike asks if M shared many anecdotes and experiences of he knows any Muslims who gamble in casinos. M says gambling with us. "You'll hear this from any of the guys that Napoleons Casino is the seedy haven for people ulb' round here," was a phrase he introduced most of his who wish to keep a low profile, especially the Leeds taxi- rhetoric with, which was revealing of the sense of drivers who are predominantly Muslim. Intrigued, we camaraderie shared between the hardcore gamblers. enquire where it is. M offers to drive us. ies Many a night he would drive people home who had Entering Napoleons we feel more confident it people can 4 V during the attacks more tr e The satisfaction of winning is a more V earch which analysed by complicated issue than just merely gaining ay of the at Sciences, bitch" mentality and as he didn't want his wife to get his linked to more money. When losing, M would switch to money, gambled it away. These "More than prison, these places really show you who cribed as another Casino to win his money back you are. Guys come here with giant balls and smiles. •vents which Look at them as they leave, no ones smiling. There are resonance", guys at Sam who leave with nothing. Like little lambs." It of the event emptied their accounts and didn't even have petrol being with a regular. Being only 201 should not be had been an amazing experience, and I really liked M. s where the they were money.There was a definite sense of unity between the allowed in without photo-ID, but being with M eases us Despite his addiction he seemed like he had his head he list of past reception. Napoleons is classier and people are screwed on. He offered to give us a lift home.The last regulars and the others who are nicknamed s the death thing he did was to ask to borrow £2.50 for a pack of 'weekenders'. Weekenders are so called because they better dresseci_The lighting is dim and there is a faint s interesting buzz around the place. M was surprised when I said I fags. Wallace a preferred it to Grosvenor.' This place, unlike Grosvenor, words/ stephan page & rnichael wooldridge cut "But it is has no limit on the tables. They'll take everything you've pictures/ patrick nixon & emma dalzell nurse most got. I've seen guys at the end of the night with their rings where they on the tables."We weren't sure whether he meant that J ple in our literally. ertainly the M asks us if we want to go and gamble. We go time." 4 $ to a roulette table and I give £5 for chips. Under M's guidance we chuck our chips around the board. Other V people are playing with £5 individual chips. and my 20p ts stack seems a bit puny. M asks us not to jump up and I down if we win a pound, and I really have to contain myself when we win. The rush of winning is raw and ess turn up usually at the weekend, are slow in betting and bestial. I invite Mike to make a bet, and he loses. M jokes disrupt the harmony and understanding that the regulars that Mike has bad luck. After about 10 minutes we share. An example he gave was on the blackjack table, retire with a profit of £3. As we sit down M is in id and 'Trans where weekenders always try to make 21 and never do stitches, "you see you were interviewing me, but earoP holding an the professional move of sticking on 16, He backed this that was funny. I was watching you guys and eh will run up with technical jargon that completely baffled me. you got well into it." He was right. I was Coffee Hour A continuously reiterated point was the runs of good swept up by the excitement and really e Arc of the and bad luck and the ebbs and flows of gambling. "Ask enjoyed it. 12 and 2. any gambler, we all go through bad runs when we don't We sit back in the bar area. e on issues win. 1 week, 2 weeks, 7 weeks.... your luck will change, Unlike Grosvenor you cannot ['unity, and you just don't know when." take your drinks on the ivided on a gaming floor here. exual health, Underlying the gambling history. scene there is a more GBT society serious theme. s and some 4 M's all the tree provided on 4 week will the 7th of V f the 1_,CIBT night is run st one was a , with a new The satisfaction of winrung is a more complicated even better. issue than just merely gaining more money. When k, on lower M would switch to another casino to win his lator Discc0 money back. If he did make it back in a different venue, he was still unsatisfied_ He wanted to get the money back off the casino that had initially 'robbed' him. , bad This usually meant he lost everything again in the same Casino. He regularly did this in Leeds, and ICU easy by is made especially liege Union the fact that Gala and hat rust class Napoleons are opposite %Wised with each other. ons. M talked of the 'help kit' for gambler's sense of money. m or hourly- Money loses its fixed reality pail of the over time; it becomes better terms impermanent. It comes and 100 plus staff goes similarly to all of the guys in :tr• contracts the scene. Often he has borrowed ' which came and lent large sums of money to ns that some people. Sometimes he won't see that • 1CV have the person for months, but everyone repays Iciwever, the everyone eventually. Some of his closest nested use of friends he has met in casinos, but, "If they're ademic staff gambling they'll tuck you." tics with too g to provide earch on the

download a tpack Friday, Februrary 2, 2007 4 Leeds Student www.leedsstudent.org.uk Nev 1 CLUBS 16-Nea

RETURN OF THE MAC

Wax:On moves to Stylus from Mine with Annie Mac in tow An ex and in he Newcastle club night WAX:ON only Control' post ex started its monthly Leeds residency in elicited further appreciative cheering. In Pulse, the the U T September, yet already it has gained a firm DJs employed a techno and tech-house music annual following amongst the student population. policy, playing to a much smaller but equally wild Hes Radio l's Annie Mac, who played at the first crowd. LUU i event, returned; this time to play a headline slot. One half of "twisted electro breaks" duo Evil From 12am to 2am, she rocked Stylus with a dense Nine took to the Stylus stage at Sam to play for the set of breaks-tinged electro house. Her use of remaining two hours of the night. Sustaining the effects extended little further than energy that had been created by Mac and turning tweaking the EQ levels on the mixer, yet her every it up several notches, he played a fantastic move, in addition to the natural drops in the tracks, selection of tracks, and moulded the songs into a was applauded by the frantically dancing crowd. flowing stream using adroit mixing and effects This ensured that Stylus, whilst being somewhat manipulation to create a pulsating. constantly short of full capacity, had a intensifying soundscape. When the emotive strings lively atmosphere. of Moby's fantastic 'Go' were introduced towards Mac's mixing style was generally conventional, the end of the set, the sight of everyone's arms however she shone particularly brightly when lofted high in approval across the room signified performing an elaborate, staccato mix into Daft that this was a night that would be remembered Punk's classic 1997 track 'Around The World'. fondly for a long time to come. overlayed with the spoken, vocodered vocals of their more recent hit 'Technologic'. Later on, an words/nicholas polydor incredibly smooth and well-disguised mix into The picture/ emma dalzell Gossip's anthemic 'Standing In The Way Of

clubbing abroad/ Amsterdamned...

A truly Dutch night on the town, well sort of.

hether it's a good idea to get stoned with hundreds of dangling plastic apples and BEFORE going clubbing is somewhat snakes. Either that or the mushrooms were having W debatable. Especially when you're feeling more of an effect than I'd thought. Crammed with borderline narcoleptic anyway due to insane travel slightly unsavoury characters, its about the size of arrangements. BUT when in Amsterdam, do as the your living room, so we downed our drinks and er English do, I say. Rookies is one of the headed into the night. archetypal 'coffeehouses' ie. 'dopehouses' in the After being almost killed by a speeding cute/ seedy backstreets, and is a perfect example bicycle and having sand from a nearby of stoner chic. II feels like night-time in there 24 construction site blown into our faces we arrived at hours a day (think the Old Bar with weed instead of Exit. Having ordered our 2-for- 1 drinks from the chips). So just to disorientate ourselves a bit more screamingly camp bar staff we set about getting we dossed there and had a couple of existential our groove on to some of the cheesiest 'music' in conversations before progressing, via a sublime Europe. At one point they actually played three, Mexican resto, to The Waterhole. Guarded by a that's THREE Spice Girls songs in a row. [N A ROW! bodybuilding hell's angel sporting a leather Evil DJ, evil. Anyway, having recovered from that waistcoat who demands we leave our coats at the onslaught we discovered the dancing pole on the door, The Waterhole is a dark bar with its own stage and performed some ill-advised but actually house band singing rock classics in a Dutch quite stylish moves. Probably. Highlights of the accent- as excruciating as it sounds but a great night? Spazzing out to 'Boogie Tonite' by Booty Luv. place to start the debauchery... and one of our party (she knows who she is) Having got a little merry the next stop is finding herself with a new Dutch husband who was Monmartre in the gay/ red light district. This out partying with his gay dad. Only in Amsterdam. sounds much worse actually written down than it did at the time. Its ceiling is fabulously decorated

pg12/clubs/Is2/020207 5

WS

les COCO-CABANA it people can during the Victoria Ellis indulges her love of posh pancakes attacks more catch which ocktails and pancakes: probably the best-kept sweet chilli sauce as a side order; or a flamboyantly to find a more energetic atmosphere, as there are a analysed by secret combination of delicious beverage and prepared champagne cocktail. variety of club nights on at Coco in the later hours on ay of the Cdelectable munch in the world, only fully If all of this sounds a little extravagant for the Wednesdays, Fridays and Saturdays, as well as at Sciences, appreciated by myself, I believed. That was, until Coco. average student's modest budget, then have no fear! occasional live music sessions, also play host to nights linked to Now, the bat Coco is not incredibly well-known to There is hope in the well-tinted "Happy Hour", a period such as *Coco Pops' and 'Grinch', both with guest Djs These the general student public; whether or not this is a between 5pm and Spin every day, when all cocktails and tree entry cribed as goad thing, we shall soon find out when hordes are next are 2 for 1. or there is the £5 lunch-time meal deal, and I hope that I have managed to restrain myself in vents which week found filling up every nook and cranny of Coco's with a standard NUS card you can get a Coco student this review, although it has been hard as I adore this resonance ", tasteful, yet individual decor (it is situated under an card which gets everything at 2 for I throughout the bar. The few criticisms I would make are that it is of the event arch in the bridge close to the station, and takes full week excluding Friday and Saturday nights. Probably initially hard to find, and that perhaps it has been a little s where the the reason why I love this place so much - I can eat like too empty sometimes: when it is full however, there is a they were advantage of this with its lovely red brick walls). he list of However, this lack of fame does not discredit it one bit: a veritable queen at a reasonable price if I go with a sensational vibe that the fun, friendly bar staff no doubt s the death the tasty nature of Coco's offerings is undeniable, triend.Which is the perfect thing to dot would suggest, help to encourage. And hopefully after reading this, s interesting whether it be a twelve-inch, savoury stir-fried beef as the several times I have been with my friends we some of the paper's readers will venture out past the have had fun, chilled out time relaxing on the leather usual Gangster's Pizza, IVIaccy D's and Walkabout, and Wallace a pancake with mozzarella, caramelised red onion and ent "But it is sofas in the corner in the early hours of the evening, help to bring Coco to its hip, fully swinging potential, mushrooms served with a garlic and mayonnaise dip, our ,SC mos t which I found scrumptious and very filling; or a sweet perfect for a mid-week de-stressing session. where they possible words/victoria ellis apple and cinnamon pancake; battered prawns with Once the kitchens are closed at 8pm, it is plc in our ertainly the l ime." ts ess

nil and Trans holding an .ch will run Coffee Hour c Arc of the 9' 12 and 2. .e on issues nullity. and widcd on a c‘ual health, history_ = r~rOp GBT society fro■ie. ." s and some ti es e all the free provided on

week will the the the 7th of f the LGUT night is run st onC was a rant info , with a new even better Silver leggings. Discuss. •)? k, on lower lator Discol I am worried about the state of fashion these days, Now, !I! are set to do a DJ set in Stylus in March. more specifically the stale of clubbing attire. Now I am all for expressing yourself through what you However, the big question is will they turn up this wear, particularly if it's quirky and preferably time? A few months ago they were booked for Mine bad stylish. However, certain clobbers have taken this and failed to materialise. The reason given was that self-expression to new heights of ludicrousness. their manager had neglected to mention to them they Take for example the young fella I came across the were supposed to be DJing in the Ufa, so not only were they absent from Leeds they were sat other day. What first grabbed my attention were the 'Uege Union silver skin-tight leggings, then the alarming bulge comfortably back in their hometown of New York. Fingers crossed for this time. hat first class that proved to me that, yes indeed, he was a bay. Up isidiseci with t quite sure. On the top half he to that point I wasn' 00-er Ions, had on a neon pink vest which almost matched his 'help kit ' for alarmingly vibrant orange fake tan. I don't want to m or hourly- There 's a new club opening but don't get too excited, sound like some sort of clothes racist who frowns at part of the anyone not wearing a tweed combo or close to but it looks rubbish. Club Moscow will hold its opening night on February 26 with a programme of events better terms just a bit scary being confronted with a silver- it's hosted by Jo Guest, Playboy star extraordinaire, you XIO plus staff clad person writhing around like he's been bitten can probably guess the nature of the club already. ary contracts. by a deadly snake. Many a time I've had to stop which came myself from expressing concern, I don't think a What's the betting it'll involve lots of less than classy ladies and cheap alto-pops. If that sounds like your ins that some "Sorry, are you feeling alright?" would go down too cup of tea - and I'm sure it does to the majority of the row have the 's missing out, no well. But then maybe it 's me who deeper-voiced half of the student population - then however, the doubt my ever-increasing age has addled my brain pop on down, but don't say we didn't warn you pealed use of and I have lost any small ability i once had to judge ademic staff s just plain silly. If that 's the what 's cool and what' ides with too case then III happily admit defeat and don a tweed g to provide trouser suit, pipe and all_ search on the words/sophie harries download a '!pack Leeds Student www.leedsstudent.org.uk Friday, Februrary 2, 2007 4 1Nev MUSIC live,

juxtaposition is entirely welcome. Digressively, Pacrami's quasi-Morrissey hair will eventually win some sort of award, I fancy, if his sunglasses don't get there first. (6)

words/ramzy alwakeel

An ex HOT CLUB DE PARIS and In the faversham post ex Saturday 27th January the If annual Ilea Now no doubt Danz! are considered to be the hot W1_1 i new thing on the block buttonight they're decidedly underwhelming. They're the kind of band who sound pretty good on CD but just bland when live. The guitarist does have cool glasses though. Hot Club De Paris welcome the crowd in their now well-familiar barber-shop quartet style, although in this case I guess a triplet. They've got a great every-man quality which endears them to their audience. Not that this crowd needs much winning over as they shout along to every lyric, giving the lead singer the chance to rest his voice occasionally and appreciate the screaming hordes. That said, they obviously put a whole lot of enthusiasm into their performance and their harmonies are flawless, clearly practised to perfection. It's quite refreshing to see some older guys being lauded by the kids, too many fresh-faced youngsters seem to be appearing on the scene at the moment so these slight pot-bellied ageing Scousers are a welcome attribute to the music world. Classics such as Your Face Looks All Wrong' and the catcluly titled Sometimes It's Better Not To Stick themselves pop. There's nothing better than the SKY LARICIN Bits In Each Other' are received with rapturous accessibility of such a band's music and their applause, marred slightly by the impatient punters the faversham ability to please fans of a variety of genres. Except, as Thursday 25th January waiting for Bad Sneakers to kick off who chat loudly I may have mentioned, doughnuts. (8) throughout the gig. They've got their comic crowd banter down to a tee. Towards the end of the set the words/ Clare pidsley Do you know what I like? Doughnuts, yes. But also singer asks the crowd 'Anyone got anything to say?' A punctuality. There's nothing worse than going to a gig girl at the front shouts 'You're fit', to which expecting it to start at eight and being made to wait he replies 'Anything more constructive?' Hot Club De until nine, ten. or even further past your bedtime FOXES! Paris have a damn good name and put on a good getting excited every time a song fades out on the show, the only criticism was that it was a bit slick CD player or someone comes on stage with a roll of the atrium without much enthusiasm, especially considering masking tape. Except, maybe, jam-less doughnuts. Tuesday 23rd January they've got such a strong supportive fan-base. If they Hence my glee in arriving at the Fay to find that not shake up the set-list a bit all will be forgiven.That only was there a timetable of events for Sky Larkins said, sea shanties never get old.(8) single launch, but that the bands stuck to it. Abso- Exhibiting tambourine-psychedelia leanings and a Foxes! woomg-hootley. rectangular, homemade bass guitar, Oxford's words/sophie barnes entertaining performance. The So at their allotted time. The Acutes came onstage put on an unfailingly enjoyable boy/girl vocals of Adam and Kayla Bell and pottered about with inoffensive bedroom rock; over a construct of guitars, synths one song about the moon fancying the sun was float convincingly (below: Sky Larkin, above left: Hot club de Paris) and a sense of humour, whilst Dan Pacrarni - visually vaguely memorable. Mother Vulp ine were a more fitting support, playing songs with a large appetite for hilarious in the best possible way - seems to have changed position and instrument every time sound, each one an experiment between hard rock I look and alternative Melte. 'Snow Falling in Unison' was up, occasionally waltzing with said bass. hypnotizing, an entrancing seduction of loops and Throughout the set, one procures the desire to harmonies. take Foxes! home and make them cocoa, preferably BO's legend Tom Robinson (guilty of '2-4-6-8 in a really cool mug. Possessing a slightly cartoon- Motorway', and 'Glad To Be Gay') honoured Sky like quality, they genuinely seem to be enjoying Larkin's 'One of Two' with the title Single of the Week themselves. Casio solos and all. At times, the rapid, on his radio show, however enjoyers of this debut and unprepared tempo changes and a constant air of its B-side 'Young Lungs' will be pleased to find that harmonic instability can make the songs sound so the band have even better sweets in their pockets. varied that they all scan like miniature gigs within They open with 'Traits and Traitors', a straight-up themselves, blurring, to a degree, the setlist's track driven by incessant cymbal crashes, however progression: tracks like 'Descartes' feel somewhat 'Keepsakes' and 'Somersaults' steal the show as fragmented, although this detracts more from the energetic bubbles of excitement. Katie pelted the through-current than from the pieces themselves. vocals out for her life, with the use of a retro-sounding Elsewhere, an unexpected noise-out makes for a electronic keyboard adding extra finesse to the pleasing set closer, whilst 'Welcome to the Drive In' band's quirkiness, What's great about Sky Larkin is is pounding and sinister (but still endearing). that they're an incite band not afraid to call Foxes! seem to have crystallised their sonic thumbprint within a competently-judged framework of intelligent music and vast fun, and the pg14/musio/Is2/020207 sorams.INEEMEN. - - 5

WS . • 4 4 BLOC PARTY Well, it's different, but its a grower, and probably one possible that I missed the clause of the punk 'A weekend in the city' of the better second albums you will hear this year, movement that condoned dressing more like (8) everyone else and less like 'your uncle did in 1973', Jib' Wichita but its emphasis on physical strength being a valid words/pete ashton social discrimmant is presumably well-known. (2) YES BOSS ie s Everyone has mixed reactions to second albums, or words/ramzy alwakeel albums that show a distinct change in style within a 'Look busy' t people can band. Fans of interweaving angular guitar Dance to the radio during the lines will perhaps be disappointed by Bloc Party's attacks more second outing. There is a marked increase in the use LADY SOVEREIGN 'Public warning' earch which of synthesisers and far more production on vocal Critical response to Yes Boss highlights a problem in analysed by parts (often the voices are the main textures) which contemporary indie reception. The fact that the duo Island ,ray of the "purists" may find to be in bad taste. Well, what do are signed to the ubiquitous but officially respectable al Sciences. purists know anyway? A weekend in the city is to Dance To The Radio label has welded a baffling Lady Sovereign, a self-confessed 'midget from the linked to •• Silent alarm what OK computer was to The bends, credibility to an outfit that would otherwise probably wrong side of the tracks', expelled from school at 16 These only, instead of a fear of technology and global have been terminated at the mastering stage. and chastised for being a 'chav', is slowly making a cribed as corporations, the theme is modern city life, spanning Underinformed, sexist and possessing limited talent name for herself on the UK grime scene. Set to tour vents which immigration ('Hunting for witches', 'Where is centred around with Gwen Stefan., friends with The Streets and resonance", home?'), generation divides, sexuality and the being able to Basement Jaxx, and a collaboration with The of the event eternal conflict that is going on the pull ('The insult people, one Ordinary Boys on '9 to 5', have made Sovereign's s where the Prayer'). gets the debut album, 'Public Warning', a highly anticipated they were Of course, there is always going to be some lyrical impression that and long-arriving album: a lengthy 3 years after her he list of ambiguity, but what makes Bloc Party special is that their audience first single was released as a download on her is the death everyone has his or her own take on the songs. Kele's supports them webstte. Making a welcome detour away from the s interesting lyrics have come on leaps and bounds and there is a because it would pop chart success of '9 to 5' (included on this album Wallace a touch of the Morrissey in some lines. This album get beaten up without the unwelcome input of Preston and the cut "But it is oursc most never gets depressing, mind. The soaring harmonies, otherwise. gang) by moving into drum and bass/grime songs where they full of tasteful suspensions, are still here, and it's Unnecessarily such as 'Random' commands the avid attention of the pie in our severing fourteen listener. Unfortunately one of her best promo singles obvious Bloc Party take to synth like ducks to water... 'ertainly the unlike The Killers or Coldplay. Absent from the roster seconds of the ('Ch-Ching') isn't included on the album, which is a time." are live favourites such as 'Cells shaped like stars', first track into great shame. but the album is arguably more unified as a result. something weakly Being from London as she is, you'd expect us Brits Stand out tracks include 'Song for Clay (Disappear purporting to be would be top of her priorities, but this album was sts here)' which opens the album with fragile vocals an 'intro',Yes Boss released in America three months ago. I'll forgive erupting into more familiar guitar licks.'Hunting for seem to be her, purely because of brilliant lines such as 'We ain't witches' is 'Helicopter' for 2007. 'Waiting for the 7.18' struggling with the notion of constructing an album all posh like the Queen, Tony Blair throw your hands ness features the glorious bridge "Let's go to Brighton for from the offset. Dedicating a roughly equal amount in the air', keeping British-ness at the forefront of her the weekend" and 'The Prayer' takes us into far of airtime to a range of issues such as how indie kids lyrics. darker territory than ever before. need to eat more pies. how my bird gave him ten out White, 19 year old, British females are not the tail and Trans 'Uniform' starts off with some nice ambient slide of ten and how he is not making enough money, Noah typical MC stars, but to dispel any stereotypical holding an guitar and pretty picking before progressing through is apparently 'sick of hearing bad. records' but does ideas and to experience some truly inspirational and ich will run pure pop to the best handled EMO since Thursday not address the fact that he is personally responsible skilful rapping, her skills are shown to their fullest in Coffee Hour wandered the earth. 'On' makes use of a Bloc Party for the existence of several. One can only assume Public Warning', when the lyrics are delivered to Are of the favourite of looped tremolo guitar which sits nicely that what is contained herein is some sort of extremely speedily. 12 and 2. against the orchestral strings that colour the track. complicated joke, as repeated attempts to She barely scraped the UK top 40 until '9 to 5', Sc on issues 'Where is home?' is damn unsettling with quite eerie objectively gauge the set's merits leave the listener something which has been attributed to the fact that munity. and vocal harmonies which just emphasise Kele's lyrics, with, at best, a blank where the last forty minutes she is seen as an emblem of char culture, and has wided on a leaving the listener in no doubt about the song's should be: at worst, the blind desire to kill. been ridiculed on websites such as chayscum. But ruml health. message. 'Kreuzberg' is just beautiful and doesn't Terrifyingly MIDI string samples, an array of this perfectly produced album, with songs that stand history. need any further explanation, while I still remember' contrived subject matter and some forgettable out with various influences from hip hop and GBT society could almost be Wish-era Cure if it weren't so epic. electronic drum patterns seem to be the musical dancehall, she is successfully bringing us the s and some 'Sunday' showcases Matt Tong's distinctive drumming palate. The press release urges me to 'ignore all underground sounds from her homeland, east- all the tree and the rather brilliant lyric "I love you in the labels', which is good, as it then attempts to tell me London estates, in an accessible form.(9) provided on morning, when you're still hungover" and will surely that they are 'gripping and vital'. Yes Boss are warm the cockles of even the stoniest hearts. 'SRXT' is popularly branded hip-hop or electro, but rather words/tess eaton week will pretty good too... oh, wait. That's the whole album. more odd is a repeated reference to punk. It is the 7th of of the LUST night is run preview/ st one was a The Indic Rave, er, from, amongst others, Leeds' own indie-disco stars fresh from their performance. And the presence of a ;, with a new rave hits town next The Sunshine Underground , London electro certain trio of neon clad space cadets is expected. even better. Wednesday (7th). poppers New Young Pony Club and the band If that all sounds a bit hectic then Bonobo's laid ik, on lower Unfortunately for everyone's talking about - the Klaxons. They played back trip-hop is the perfect antidote (Faversham. Itlator Disco) those who haven't an 100mph set of pure adrenaline rush at the Fay last 7th)_ got tickets it's, like, year and are sure to go one better next week. Sheffield's The Long Blondes produced one of the way sold out. For If you didn't manage to get a ticket then make sure albums of last year in 'Someone to Drive You Home' those who have you you do the next best thing and head down to the and you have a chance to see Kate Jackson et al at , bad can expect to be Faversham for the New Rave Tour Aftershow (7th). Leeds Met on Monday 12th. treated to Toronto Nintendocore duo Crystal Castles will play ICU performances a live set and Cansei de Ser Sexy will hit the decks liege Union hat first class singles/ 'isalised with Ex-Million Dead frontman Frank Turner takes a and Fight Club, but please Jared, stick to the acting. what I did there? It's not hard to see why either. ions. leap into the dark with his first solo effort 'Vital 30 Seconds to Mars' first single to be taken from the 'Giddy Stratospheres' can only be described as a hit, 'help kit' for Signs'. Picking up his acoustic guitar he delivers a album 'A Beautiful Lie' is a vague attempt at anthenuc incorporating snappy music and glam-punk vocals m or hourly- big slice of campfire wilderness with tus music, with emo with a bit of Muse-esque spacedust thrown in in 'You pay your money and you take your choice' - part of the powerful guitar and strong rhythms. Sometimes he the background. Whether you love emo or hate it, this and if you choose Damien Rice you already really better terms maintains his punk/emo sensibilities with corny lines does sound like something My know what you're going to get. 'Beautiful', 'heartfelt', CO plus staff like "I'll be dead but never dying" but what the song Chemical Romance put 'intense' - all words some reviewers have used to ay contracts. is fundamentally about is storytelling.The whole together 5 years ago when the ;us pitch this song I'd rather use the colour of the cover which came attitude of the song - one of folk stories and burgeoning scene was finding' sleeve personally: beige. 'Rootless Tree' is relatively ins that some journeying - carries it through to a compelling its feet. unimaginative and certainly predictable - and whilst tow have the conclusion, and is a complimentary chapter in his Having built up a sturdy fan it is typically Damien Rice, it is a sound that's just too however, the recently released album 'Sleep Is For The Week'. base, The Long Blondes are prevalent and obvious right now - it's probably best if pealed use of Actors that move into music - what can I say? You no doubt headed for the we leave it to the Sunday papers to applaud! !ademic staff may remember Jared Leto from Requiem for a Dream giddiest of stratospheres...see words/ jonny leighton ides with too g to provide search on the

download a ipack Leeds Student www.leedsstudent.org.uk Friday, Februrary 2, 2007 4 Ne‘, 1 COMICBOOK SCIENCE THEY'RE THE VIGILANTES THAT KEEP THE WORLD SAFE FROM HARM, BUT IN THE REAL WORLD, WOULD COMIC BOOK HEROES BE ANYTHING MORE THAN SLIGHTLY CREEPY PEOPLE WITH A PENCHANT FOR FETISHWEAR? An cx LS2 INVESTIGATES... and ill post ex 've always enjoyed comic books and their level of agility, strength and the ability to climb the U film and television-show counterparts. Ii sheer walls. He also has a Spider-sense that bor- annual might make me a bit of a geek but for some ders on precognition. A pretty useful selection of Hea reason I find that the idea of a superhero powers. standing alone for justice and honour in a However. the webbing is (according to my worldI of villains is quite exciting and, quite often, research) pretty much Impossible. Apparently, the makes a good story. My housemate informs me way spiders make webs is by carefully spinning that I have too many social skills to be a geek. them and this (rather obviously) takes quite a which, in honesty, I'm pretty happy about. large amount of time. Thus, Spider-Man simply Quite a lot of other people are obviously a little flicking out his hand and having webbing fly out is geeky, too - Spider-Man held the record for the unrealistic at best. Another concern (well, slightly largest opening weekend of all time until this sum- more than a concern), is that the sudden jerk stop- mer, when it was pushed to second (for an the fact ping his fail through the geeks — Pirates of the Caribbean 2 has it now). X- air when his Mem The bast Stand is at number five on this list web and both X2 and Spider-Man 2 also feature in the hits Top W. Comic book heroes obviously aren't just for geeks any more. Hollywood seems to recognise that there's a large market for this kind of film. Paramount has just rushed into production a number of other comic book movies, including Iron Man and Captain America. Iron ManfTony Stark has been announced as Robert Downey Jr., with Gwyneth Paltrow and Terrence Howard in support, Colour me excited. This very summer we are also attacked by a slew of comic book movie releases - Spider-Man 3, Fantastic Four 2 and Ghost Rider are all due to be released in the summer months. All of this comic book success in the film world got me thinking. Would a comic book hero be able to exist in the real world? I feel that this statement immediately requires clarification: comic books are able to skirt around how things look and work as they show only still images. Film requires a tiny bit more believability and. thus, the heroes are rationalised and made a little more real - Spider- Man no longer gains his powers from the bite of a radioactive spider, but it is instead a genetically engineered bug that bites him. Batman has slight- ly more realistic looking gadgets (well in Batman Begins. at least). But I feel that film might still be, well. selling us a crock of shit. Taking these two heroes as examples, one Marvel. one DC, 1 decid- ed to investigate if there could be any realistic sci- entific explanation for some, or all, of their pow- ers. would rip his Spider-Man from Spider-Man 1,2 & arm from its socket. 3 Personally, feel that I'm going to preface this section with the dis- this worry is claimer that Spider-Man is possibly my favourite more than comic book hero of all time, just so that the true explained by his believers know that I'm not insulting him, I'm sim- spider strength. ply making an objective investigation into the sci- Which is. obvious- ence provided by the films. In them, Peter Parker ly. entirely possible. (Tobey Maguire) acquires a number of powers Happily, Spider- after being bitten by a genetically engineered Man climbing walls by spider. There are, as I'm writing this. only 94 days simply sticking to them 'till release. see you all at the midnight show- is far more possible, and ing. the research into this area In the films, Spider-Man can fire webbing from is lead by scientists at his wrists (although, in the comics, a web spinning BAE. The technology they device he designed does this), he has an amazing use is based on how Geckos pg16/sciencefiction/ls2/020207 5

WS (Christian Bale) went from being a rather annoying kid to being Batman. Along the way, his parents get killed, he learns ulb' martial arts in the mountains and receives the help of ies Michael Caine, Morgan it people can 4, Freeman and Gary .t during the Oldman. I could list the attacks more _ • character names, but every- climb. *s- one clearly just thinks of them -earch which and they as the actors who play them. Or analysed by could actu- maybe that's just me. way of the ally make Batman Begins does appear to be al Sciences, it possi- slightly more realistic than Spider- linked to ble to .° Man. There are no genetically engi- These climb ' i-, - cribed as ' neered spider bites; instead, there is pain, anger and rather an unwieldy vents which amount of angst. Bruce Wayne trains resonance". himself to be Batman in the Himalayas, of the event s where the • 4. where he masters martial arts. This is, in theory, possible, as a number of monasteries they were • he list of build- -f which train students in combat do exist. Bruce ings as the death then returns and gets all kinds of equipment a interesting almost identi- from Morgan to lead the fight against crime. This • Wallace a cally to Spider- I includes an armoured suit which the film tells us ent "But it is Man. Geckos can costs $300,000 and has a base layer of Nomex, fol- curse most climb sheer surfaces lowed by a layer of Kevlar bi-weave. where they because they have millions I'll admit that, when I watched the film, I blindly pie in our of tiny hairs on their feet that accepted the word Nomex as meaning "something ertainly the provide a tiny attractive force over a scientific", and registered the fact that I vaguely time." short distance. The hairs are smaller knew that Kevlar existed. Nomex actually exists as than one thousandth of a millimetre across, well, and is protection against fire- it also helps to as the attractive force created does not change regulate temperature. Kevlar is used in bullet- Is with size. This means that, apparently, a patch of proof vests, so the explanation offered for the suit the material only one metre squared could hold a is almost sound. However, even Kevlar isn't able to ness human car - or a glove could hold the weight of a stop some bullets - which Morgan Freeman states human, The way that the material works apparent- in the film. ly means that it can be used repeatedly, It only Batman obviously also needs a cloak and, in the sticks when pressure is applied, and can be film, this is made of a material called memory Nil and Toms peeled away much like Velcro, meaning that cloth, which remembers shapes designed into it. I holding an Spider-Man could actually scale a building pretty felt this sounded ridiculous, but I looked into it ich will run well. He just wouldn't be able to swing to another nonetheless and was surprised to find that things Coffee Hour building once he got to the top. called memory alloys actually exist. They are le Arc of the materials which can be squashed into any shape 12 and 2. a:- Batman from Batman Begins and then return to their original form whenever ve on issues heat is applied. If these were used as forms for the [nullity. and I have made a conscious decision to ignore any cloak, and an electric current was applied (as ovided on a Batman films before the most recent outing, with Morgan Freeman states needs to occur), then in exual health. Christopher Nolan at the helm. This is for two theory the shaped cloak would be possible, Pretty history. reasons: firstly, Batman Begins is rather cool, huh? Batman also got fairly decent marks .GBT society obviously a beginning and, thus, with his magnetic pistol - my physics finalist s and some supercedes the other films. Secondly, friend states that they appear "fairly possible". all the free if I were to reference more than one Sweet, provided on film, I feel I would have to refer- Batman has a very impressive car - the ence them all - that would mean Batmobile. Having described it as a car, I'll say week will mentioning the cinematic blas- that it appears far more like a tank. Firstly, it isn't the 7th of phemy that is Batman and really legal - it has machine guns, which aren't of the 1..GBT Robin (They gave the legally sound if you plan on driving around pretty night is Inn Batsuit nipples. It still much any country you could come up with. The st one was a upsets me). But it does Batmobile might be possible - but it'd probably . with a new mean leaving out lack be difficult to use and you could hardly take it to a e%-en better. Nicholson's joker. drive-through restaurant. It'd have positives ik. on lower I'm still not sure d though: rush hour wouldn't be a major problem. dater Disco) that's a fair trade. Forbes, the all round money-knowledge folk esti- Anyway, Batman mated that it would cost about $3.5 million to Begins tells become Batman. Which, considering how cool he the dark and is, doesn't seem too bad to me. moody tale I must confess I'm pretty impressed - becoming of how Batman doesn't seem completely impossible, JcU Bruce although it does still look pretty hard as I'm cow- Wayne ardly, small and not a billionaire (but things might >liege Union change). Spider-Man, on the other hand, seems to that first class be in a bit more trouble. About half of his powers 1.taidised with seem to be pretty damn unrealistic but, hey, it also ions. seems pretty odd that Mary lane still loves Peter 'help kit' for Parker when he is so brutally harsh to hex so mt or hourly- often. ; part of the I'll admit I ignored a number of heroes made helter terms popular through films in this article - namely, tkX) plus staff Superman and the X-Men. To quote my physician ary contracts. friend on the topic of 'the Man of Steel': "just no". which came Which also pretty much sums up my chances of ins that sonic ever being a super hero. I didn't even bother to now have the ask about the X-men. Looks like I'll have to fall lowever, the back on my other career plan, being a rock star ,peated use of :admit: staff words/ matthew kent ales with too ig to provide search on the

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Leeds Student www.leedsstudent.org.uk Friday. Februrary 2, 2007 4 Nek p theatripaL i%1 a THE HOUND oppy, VII • OF THE BASKERVILLES 19 JANUARY — 17TH FEBRUARY AT THE WEST YORKSHIRE PLAYHOUSE

played by Sharon Stone and Demi Moore, in which Moore movingly talks about the difficulties of getting old in "the business", a monologue that perhaps uncomfortably mirrors Moore's own receding role in Hollywood. The script is credible, but relies a little too much on dramatic monologue and hyperbole to be fully convincing in such a film. Even its interjections of comedy are over-the-top-The most moving scene An ex takes place to the soundtrack of one of Robert and m Kennedy's most famous speeches, and it is in his use post ex of far superior writing that Estevez makes up for the U previous weak moments in his well-realised, annual deservedly dramatic finish. BOBBY After watching the film, off I pottered to Claridges LUl1 is (as one does) for the film's UK press junket. We were ushered in to a small room in which the orange and Starring/ Javier Marzan, John Nicholson Starring/ Martin Sheen. Anthony Hopkins, Demi unlined faces of Emilio Estevez, Freddy Rodriguez Moore, Helen Hunt, Lindsey Lohan. Elijah Wood and Jason Thorpe and Christian Slater greeted us. One of the first Director/ Orla O'Loughlin Director/ Emilio Estevez questions asked was about what the actors' motivations were for signing on for the project, to . ■,.-- which Slater replied Anthony Hopkins, and the atever else it pretends to be, this is a film impressive subject matter. Politics was, surprisingly eerstalker hat - check, pipe - check, dry ice about Hollywood, by Hollywood. Based enough, the main focus of the discussion. I asked and scary sound effects - check. A camped WIaround the shooting of Robert Kennedy in Emilio Estevez if he was worried about bringing out D up Sherlock Holmes played with an almost the Ambassador Hotel in LA, the film follows a day in such an idealistic film into such a cynical political unintelligible Spanish accent ....hmmm something the life of various individuals who were present at the environment, to which he replied no, and describing about this production of The Hound of The Baskervilles hotel. The themes are clear from the outset: idealism himself as an "unapologetic optimist", and doesn't quite add up. (and loss of), innocence (and loss of), and prejudice continuing "we need to get out of the cesspool that Although the poster requests. 'please refrain from (and loss of). Despite these rather overworked we've all been drinking from, and we're better than bringing any meat based products into the clichés, the film strikes a chord that only Hollywood the bar we set ourselves". auditorium', this doesn't stop the comedy trio knows how to play. However, conspiracy theorists Bobby is one in a list of politically conscious films Peepolykus making fresh meat of the well known tale beware; you'll get no convoluted anti-government released in the past month, but perhaps its greatest of mystery and murder on the moors. theories here. Estevez consciously avoids politics in flaw is that it is not political enough. Its homage to The first few minutes may lull you into the faithful an inherently political film, but somehow manages to Altman only highlights its flaws, and the script is too and familiar atmosphere of foggy lamplight and pull it off. full of its own idealism to be truly effective. It did, howling wind, but when the house lights suddenly go The danger with having so many famous actors in however, make me think, and that can only be a good up and the actors come out of character to address the one film is that it is difficult not to allow them to thing. perform to type. Estevez, however, has managed to audience you realise this is no ordinary regurgitation of Conan Doyle's classic. avoid this almost completely. One of the strongest (7/10) scenes in terms of acting was between the women words/ lara choksey Using the techniques of farce and physical theatre to hilarious effect, three actors (Javier Marzan. John Nicholson and Jason Thorpe) play over twenty roles thanks to ingenious props and a handy false beard. Puritan Sherlock Holmes fans might be slightly shocked to see Lord Baskerville stripped to his boxers and the actor playing Watson interrupting the action to LEONARD COHEN: I'M YOUR MAN ask audience members 'suffering from low self esteem' to leave immediately. A shocking surprise before the interval meant any powerful. I want to know more, want to hear him o not make the same mistake as I did. Do notions of theatricality were exploded as the actors perform his own music, but no such luck. not hand over any amount of money once more came out of character to hilarious effect. Man is a His songs are instead executed by a host of Dthinking Leonard Cohen: I'm Your However when the performance resumed, it went from musicians he's apparently influenced, yet most of the film about the life and music of Leonard Cohen. It being elegantly absurd to total slapstick as the entire performances are forgettable. Rufus and Martha isn't. This film is really a "tribute" to Cohen. Being a first half was run through at manic speed, missing Wainright are badly dressed and despite having tribute means we get very little of the man himself. props, mixing up disguises and running out of breath. some talent, tend to lay on the emotion a little too What we do get axe inane interviews with lesser The homosexual subtext in the story is played for thick. There is a limit to the number of close-ups of musicians, inferior performances of Cohert's music, laughs, with Watson finally speaking the words readers including the epic Hallelujah. And Bono. Any film that eyes-tightly-shut singing any film can take. Nick and critics have pondered over for years: 'I love you Cave, on the other hand, is worth listening to. As is the "stars" Bono should be enough to send you Holmes'. The camp comedy goes a little over the top inimitable Jarvis Cocker and Antony (of Antony and immediately running in the opposite direction. The during the second act, a disco ball drops down as they bandwagon is never quite complete until that man the Johnsorts fame) with his hauntingly good voice dance the tango and Watson and Lord Baskerville has made an appearance, And what an appearance and subtle performance. They each make Cohen's writhe kissing on the floor. he makes. Every five minutes. What he says is songs their own. But real footage of Cohen Despite all the clowning around, the trio stick irrelevant anyway; all we need to know is that Bono performing would still have been preferable. This surprisingly close to the original plot and the scares really likes Leonard Cohen. Oh, and he reads Byron. moment magically materialises at the very end of the are still plenty. You know that the ghostly hound All this comes together in a perfectly nauseating film, when we fleetingly enjoy the luxury of a close- prowling the moors at night and knocking off a attempt to canonise Cohen as some sort of saint. up of Cohen actually performing one of his songs. succession of Baskervilles is the real reason you never Black and white blurred shots of Cohen reminiscing Great, you think, this is just what the film needs. And venture out of Leeds for those lonely walks on the on his rise to fame combine with heavy-handed then, as the camera slowly pans out, who is that by Yorkshire moors. special effects and pseudo-avant-garde gestures in Cohen's side, pushing his way into the spotlight? Oh On the whole this adaptation is an impressively what becomes just plain annoying. Despite these off- yes, it's Bono again. Leonard Cohen is an icon of his inventive take on a story so well known it has become putting attempts at gravitas, Cohen himself offers generation. But please, no more Bono. stale. proving that in the right hands you can teach an momentary salvation. He is an interesting guy; humorous, gentle, weirdly charismatic if a little (5/10) old story new tricks. strange. His midlife crisis consisted of becoming a words/ sophie haydock (8/10) Zen monk. His music is truly beautiful, verging on poetry with a folk influence that is extremely words/ kate wills

pg18/arts/132/020207 5

I THE LAST ulb' KING OF yes THE FOUNTAIN 1st people can re during the SCOTLAND IMMIK attacks more Starring/ Hugh Jackman, Rachel Weisz, Ellen Burstyn search which analysed by Starring/ James McAwry, Forest Whitaker, Kerry Director/ Darren Aronofsky nwuy of the Washington and Gillian Anderson cal Sciences, Director/ Kevin McDonald 'e linked to es". These turn to the words of another reviewer to :scribed as describe this film: "It is the best film I have events which Iever seen that I never want to see again". The al resonance", Last King of Scotland is gruesome, graphic and at nce set to star Brad Pitt and Cate Blanchett, some much needed action even if they remain .te of the event times, not easy to watch. However, it is this apparent The Fountain has been Darren Aronofski's frustratingly somber in tone. The film's weak link is as where the determination to show the shocking reality of the Olabour of love since the fantastic Requiem the baffling futuristic narrative which depicts a it they were events around which the film is based which proves to or a Dream. This rewritten and downsized version of sparklingly bald Jackman who manages to the list of be its chief quality. the film presents three storylines that unfold together simultaneously levitate and meditate, whilst looking vas the death The film is based on the novel of the same name by to varying degrees of success. 500 years in the past. a utterly ridiculous. These ridiculous episodes lack is interesting panish Conquistador (Hugh Jackson) hunts for the substance, and when set against the tragic cancer Wallace a Giles Foden and is set in 1970s Uganda. It follows dent "But it is young ideological Dr Nicholas Garrigan Games tree of life, in the present day, scientist Tommy (also narrative unintentionally undermine the poignant ackrnan) frantically searches for a cure for his wife's tone of the film. Aronofsky knows he is dealing with course most McAvoy) as he travels to Uganda seeking adventure. where they achel Weisz) terminal cancer, whilst some hundred epic themes of life, death and lave and annoyingly he Upon a chance meeting with President Idi Amin (Forest ople in our Whitaker), unaware of the atrocities being committed years in the future, Jackman and a dying tree (spot the seems to feel obliged to deal with them in bloated, certainly the on his behalf, Garrigan is instantly awe-struck and is alogy) float in some kind of pod through space. melodramatic ways. What is really quite a simple plot clime." wooed into becoming his personal physician. Things ow, if that description sounds a little convoluted and is convolutedly presented, and whilst there are some seem great as Carrigan lives life in the lap of luxury. unclear then welcome to the tone of this film. effective plot turns, it is really not as enigmatic as it However, as their relationship develops, Carrigan Fantastic cinematography and special effects make thinks it is. )sts discovers what kind of man Amin really is, and the The Fountain visually stunning, and the beautiful Despite its aesthetic qualities and effectively tragic severity of his situation quickly becomes apparent. soundtrack (a collaboration between The Kronos tone, The Fbuntain ultimately fails because it feels Forest Whitaker must take substantial credit for the uartet and the band Mogwai) in some respects hollow in its attempts to explore such grandeur ness film's success as his Oscar nominated portrayal of this olds this scattered film together. Even though the themes, leaving what is quite a short film feel like an madly deluded dictator is definitely the film's erformances (particularly Jackman's) are very epic, and not in a good way. It almost becomes a tong, these positive elements are constantly series of visually stunning and well acted vignettes, strongest attribute. It is difficult to take your eyes off sual and Trans undermined by Aronofski's underwritten, frustratingly the direction and resolution of which are unoriginal him as he seems to act with his entire body. One holding an two-dimensional characters. Much of Aronofsky's and frustratingly pithy. What could have been a really minute his towering presence takes on a gentle bear- hich will run dialogue is achingly corny, especially when interesting film is sadly unsatisfying, and this is like quality, complete with an endearingly immature r Coffee Hour embedded within such a self-important and serious evident in the fact that one of the film's most sense of humour. The next he was making my heart the Arc of the narrative. impressive aspects is the actors' ever-ready ability to pound angrily with acts of racism and torture. n 12 and 2. The Thuntain is effectively emotional, though it cry on cue. McAvoy's performance is equally mesmerising and rive on issues would be hard not to be when dealing with terminal much more subtle in the role of the naive but likeable =unity. and cancer and issues of mortality. Weisz remains (5/10) doctor. rovided on a immaculately beautiful throughout her illness and words/ dan smith The film's main quality is the refreshing lack of sexual health. anages to make terminal cancer really quite sexy. Hollywood sprits that coats so many films. Don't get me I. history, eanwhile, the ancient conquistador scenes provide wrong, there are still guns and car crashes, rather it is LGBT society the impression of gritty realism in every respect that I les and some mean to address. There is spitting, vomit, sweat sodden all the free hair, not to mention some seriously sporadic side burn provided on growth from McAvoy. The general style adds to this realism as director Kevin McDonald's predominant BABEL le week will medium of film has been documentary, most the 7th of memorably with 7buching the Void. This transfers well of the LGBT with fast paced camera work and intimate close-ups, Starring/ Brad Pitt, Cate Blanchett, e night is run although due to the fantastic story-line it very much Rinko Kikuchi, Adriana Barraza last one was a remains a thriller. Director/Alejandro Gonzalez Iriarritu ❑e. with a new On the negative side, the film simply documents IT even better. Garrigart's exploits, and somewhat skims over the INK ok. on lower plight of the thousands of Ugandans that suffered at of a role that could have been extremely limiting. iolator Discol the hands of Amin's cruel regime. However, the tension s American tourists Richard (Brad Pitt) and However the best performance is Rinke Kikuchi as achieved is nonetheless amazing. This is a story most Susan (Cate Blanchett) travel through the Chieko, the troubled deaf-mute teenager - creating a worthy of being told and is well worth a watch. AMoroccan desert in a tour bus, Yussef and disturbed character, but one that can be empathised (9/10) Ahmed - two young children - take a pot shot at it with. bad words/ beth colmer with their new hunting rifle. As Susan is badly hurt, The large number of characters and plots could the bus drives them to the tour guide's home town, have made this film disorienting, but the quality of the JCU where Richard has to rely on the local community acting and the direction hold it together and give it as whilst waiting for support from the American close to a cohesive feel as possible. The theme of 7ollege Union embassy, while the other tourists want only to get out troubled communication helps to bind the film that first class of the town. Suspecting that it is a terrorist incident, together, and its mix of subtitled Moroccan, Mexican, .lbsidised with the Moroccan police investigate, eventually finding a Japanese and sign language in different sections it ions. link to a Japanese hunter. This section of the story is really emphasise the language difficulties that are -help kit' for focused on the hunter's deaf-mute daughter and overcome. It is crucial that Richard can rely on a 2rrn or hourly- remains linked on an almost entirely symbolic level - small town where he can only communicate through a is part of the dealing with the consistent theme of troubled translator, but can get absolutely no help from the re better terms communication. The other major story of the film self-interested tourists that he was with. One 1.0(X) plus stall. shows Richard and Susan's children, who are taken to criticism of the film is that the Japanese section is iniry contracts. Mexico by their nanny for her son's wedding as a extremely tenuously linked to the bullet, but it serves rt which came result of the parents delayed return. an important symbolic purpose through Clueko's tans that some Director Alejandro Gonzalez Ifiirritu handles these disability. Babel is a stunning film, and lie-arritu now have the disparate stories effortlessly, with the construction of leaves it with a great subdued and affecting However, the shots and scenes adding to the distinctive conclusion. epeated use of atmospheres of the different locations. The Ink staff performances are also extremely good, especially (9/10) rsities with too from Cate Blanchett, who manages to get so much out words/ simon gillett ting to provide eseareh on the

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Book of Longing nature of God, often at the same time, and the poetry - The British Library is threatening to begin charging Leonard Cohen is generally concerned more with philosophy than an admission fee to those who have need of its services Viking. 229pp, £16.99 lyricism. This means that there is little of what many due to expected budget cuts of up to 7 per cent. The would expect from poetry; for a 'book of longing', it is copyright library contains roughly 150 million titles. Leonard Cohen is probably best a remarkably unsensuous reading experience. That • The Waterstone's children book prize of .£1,000 has known as the deep-voiced singer- said, the style effectively reframes the nature of been awarded to 25 year old Tom Becker for his first songwriter of such classics as desire into a more cerebral and thereby perhaps novel Darkside. 'Suzanne' and 'So Long, Marianne'. more spiritually pure form, and the poetry certainly • Respected Polish journalist Ryszard Kapuscinsia has An ex However, even before he became a encourages meditation and contemplation of what it died aged 74, after a long and distinguished career, and in musician, he was well known as a poet and author, says; however, at the same time as hinting at these much of which was spent in Africa, post e, having published several collections of verse and two great heights of wisdom, they are often dismissed by the U novels, and his poetic ability is evident throughout his Cohen's self-aware, self-parodying wit. annual songwriting career. New Leonard Cohen records are Leonard Cohen's is a character that fascinates Hes- fiction/ LUU i become increasingly sporadic (and dubious in many of those who encounter his work, and this book quality), and his latest offering sees him turn his hand is probably most useful as an insight into that Thirteen Moons back to the written word. The Book of Longing character. It seems to wholly encapsulate his Charles Frazier collects poems written at various times and places in philosophy and, although that philosophy itself is 432pp, Sceptre, E.17.99 the last twenty years, including several composed possibly of little general application, somehow, by 11111if.milnom while Cohen was at the Mt. Baldy Buddhist retreat in learning about his own personal experiences, we can Charles Frazier is the award California, and comes interspersed with many gain some greater perspective on our own lives. winning author of historical fiction strange and wonderful 'drawings and decorations' by Unfortunately, as a work of poetry, it is not of famed for Cold Mountain, set towards the author. particularly great worth; nevertheless, it is a the end of the American civil war, . Cohen's poetry has always been very fascinating and engaging book. and reworked for the silver screen a idiosyncratic; he combines a grasp of symbol and year or two ago. I confess that I have not in fact read this metaphor, along with a great aptitude for cadence (7/10) initial work, and thus it took me around a hundred pages and rhyme, with a very casual, hurnourous voice. to really get to grips with the written style of Thirteen Many of the poems appear at first glance to be hardly words/ christopher tedd Moons. The tale itself is the first person narrative of one worthy of the name yet, when given attention, they Will Cooper, describing his life as a boy struggling to often reveal some surprising nugget of truth or a eek out a living in the 19th century frontiers of the wild fresh perspective on the subject. The pieces mainly American plains, long before they were plastered in deal with desire for women and contemplation on the McDonald's and achingly long highways. His life as a child (as an orphan in fact) is tough and bleak, as he is sold by his surviving relatives to work in a trading post. Having barely survived the journey to the shack-like non-fiction/ building he comes to call home, the true adventures of his life truly start when he begins to come into contact Heat: how to stop the planet efficient way of building houses with negligible with the Cherokee Nation of Native Americans. Will's burning heating and cooling inputs, a dramatic reconstruction tale is a turbulent one itaelf- his life moves through George Monbiot of mass transit systems, and the inevitable investment many phases, and he becomes first a lawyer, and Allen Lane, 304pp, £12.99 and development of alternate energy sources. Here, eventually a senator. These are the bare bones of the Monbiot is ruthlessly honest about the true novel, but where Frazier really excels is not so much What would the UK look like capabilities of systems such as wind, wave, or solar filling Will's life with drama, but through telling of the after a ninety per cent reduction in power - routinely blown out of proportion by their great and tragic downfall of the Cherokee people, as carbon emissions? That is the advocates. It was refreshing to see these their ancient way of life when we join it in Thirteen question George Monbiot addresses technologies assessed critically, rather than blindly Moons is already in its death throes. Through Will's eyes in his latest book, Heat. The question extolled as an all-encompassing solution to energy we see the forced removal of the Cherokee from their is rooted in the global reductions necessary to and carbon emission problems. homelands by the white settlers, known today as the prevent unstoppable climate feedback loops and There are some fantastic ideas in Heat, which "Trail of Tears", the name bearing testament to the weighted according to the UK's population, while the may give readers some hope for the future, but enormous suffering inflicted upon the Cherokee Nation, answer is derived and elaborated on through a throughout, it is hard not to be confronted by despair and the large numbers who did not survive the journey. couple of hundred pages of meticulously researched when considering the ponderous political wheels that Whilst the above themes of the book are important, statistics, calculations, and predictions, and is, at first must to be set in motion to even begin to address the and very much worth telling, there are points at which glance, surprisingly encouraging. critical and pressing issues upon us today. I highly Frazier seemingly stops trying to make the tale as The ninety percent nation of low-carbon idealism recommend this book to everyone, as we are all realistic as it should be, as Will manages to accidentally is not a country of wave-powered organic farms and directly and indirectly affected by climate change, meet a large number of important figures from that weaving co-ops. but rather a country where the and particularly the people, from environmentalists to precise point in US history, such as Andrew Jackson, and majority of our daily activities can continue, just scientists to politicians, who are going to be the ones Will is himself made a "white chief" of the Cherokee, through alternate means (although you would see a to do something about it. which I felt was both too sentimental and unnecessary. lot fewer planes in the sky- the one highly significant Frazier's prose is quite poetic at intervals, and he gives problem left unsolved). Taking on the accompanying (8/10) some dazzling descriptions, but they are linked together social issues as well as technical problems, Monbiot by sections of rambling and waffling writing which, if offers an elegant book with cunning parallels drawn words/ thea whitman brought under control, could be truly excellent. to the story of Faust throughout, although it is, necessarily, a bit heavy on numbers at times. (6/10) Examples of his proposals include the eventual adoption of passwhaus building standards - a highly words/ katie dunn

pg20/books/ls2/020207

5 "Never judge a computer by its hard drive." ,WS Darth Vader lulb' ries hat people can :re during the t attacks more Store iPod 'Tunes .Mac QuickTime Suppo ,search which [lot News Get a Mac I lardwIr analysed by software Made4Mac Education Pro Business Developer nway of the ical Sciences. re linked to IN AWEEK THAT SEES BOTH THE RELEASE OF APPLE'S NEW UK EDITION MAC AND PC GUY es". These ADVERTS AND MICROSOFT'S NEW OPERATING SYSTEM, WINDOWS VISTA, EPAGE escrihed as events which INVESTIGATES THE CONUNDRUM OF WHICH TYPE OF COMPUTER IS BEST FOR STUDENTS. al resonance". WARNING, TECHNICAL INFORMATION AHEAD. EPAGE BUCKLES UP. cc of the event as where the ello, I'm a Mac.""And I'm a PC." The new at they were g very hard to compare Macs and PCs on a lower speeds than PCs to similar results in overall the list of adverts appearing around the web this specifications level. For example, the Apple performance. However, as much as Apple will try was the death i Hweek enforce Apple's commiment to sales Macbook has a price of £799 to which a PC telling you that Macs are just as fast as PCs, if it's is interesting in the UK. The friendly faces of Peep Show's Mitchell equivilant from Dell is about £549. But some brute force you need, a PC will blow your Mac out of Wallace a and Webb act out almost identically the original US specifications just aren't comparible. The Macbook the water. That's not to say Macs aren't fast, they are, 'dent "But it is advert capers in which a conversation between a has three times more battery life than the PC, a but with fewer upgrade options and little choice in course most Macintosh computer and a PC ends in the smugness remote control, Bluetooth, as well as wireless graphics cards, the saturated PC market is a speed r where they of the Mac's younger, more fun, more capable networking. This set up in PC form is either modders drearn.You only have to enter your average .ople in our abilities. Only Apple. the 'think different' company, unattainable or at least closer to £1,000. After-sales 'online garners' web den to discover the mutant certainly the could create adverts starring their arch nemesis. At support for the PC can be found everywhere and, creations designed in a quest for speed. The way fell me." the other end of the spectrum, Bill Gates has been in let's be truthful, is often needed. Macs on the other both computers are designed, without getting town. Windows Vista, Microsoft's latest operating hand are very reliable. The lack of virus and spyware technical. PCs are better at rendering 3D system, promises to be bigger, better and (you threats leaves little room for your system being animations. A quick PC is a delightful platform to ISIS guessed it) more expensive than ever before. But compromised. Remember as well that Mac parts all use, but when did you last find one? what is the difference? What is all this Mac/PC come from the same place and are designed to work mess rubbish? Don't they all do the same thing? Well together, PCs often have components from separate WHAT ABOUT VIRUSES AND SPYWARE? actually no. There are definite reasons for owning companies making them a trickier problem for either a PC or a Mac. with pros and cons for both repair. In fact the Leeds Student newspaper is a It's no secret that PCs are not safe to use. As the systems. great example of Mac integrity. Our oldest Apple advert gleefully exclaims, approximately xual and Trans computer, an original !mac, dates from 1997. Yeah, holding an ,.hich will run Jr Coffee Hour the Arc of the en 12 and 2. rive on issues mmunity. and "I'm a Mac." "And I'm a PC." provided can il sexual health. T history. WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE it's a bit slow, but it's still performing the duty it was 114,000 viruses were LGBT society IN PRICE? meant to do when it was made. How many other made for PCs last nes and sonic computers in the University are still here for their year. For Macs, I all the Free It's commonly 10th birthday? None. A scary statistic warns that PCs well... more or y provided on presumed that Macs are often compromised an hour after their first less none. In are a lot more connection to the Internet. Everyone in my house fact. one of the he week will expensive than started tun life with a PC and now, two years later, only ever Mac the 7th of PCs which is have computers about as useful as abacuses. Finally, viruses was of the LGBT expected - Mac's the Apple website does offers huge student created as a e night is run last one was a only rival is the discounts, most memorably with 75 per cent off their social me. with a new PC market as a three year protection plan. Ultimately a PC might exprerirnent, whole, whereas seem cheaper in the short term, but for a total cost of le even better. ownership, the Macintosh will always win. rather than a iole on lower PCs are malicious constantly iolator Disco) STUDENTS NEED EXPERIENCE OF THE attack. Macs fighting each other aren't for sales: Asus, IBM, DOMINANT COMPUTER TECHNOLOGY, SO NEED TO USE A PC susceptible Dell, Hewlett to PC trojans Packard, Toshiba, to bad or viruses so name but a few This is true. Microsoft based PCs dominate both the companies who sell workplace and the home, so for future job you won't UCU PC laptops, and this experience it makes sense to become PC literate. necessarily makes a healthier Some jobs, however - graphic design, for example - need one of Alege Union capitalist do favour the Mac OSX operating system: even the those virus < that fast class enviroment. Well, BBC has started a switch over to Apple's Final Cut programs which •teidised with you'd think so. Pro. Some software is universal, Microsoft Office and slows down litions, Actually, the price Photoshop have both PC and Mac versions with few your computer a -help kit' for difference is much differences. Even Microsoft Windows itself will work no end. rim or hourly. harder to gauge. Firstly, on a Mac under certain parameters, so if you're is part of the looking for versatitlity, the Mac will run circles it's ire better terms around your PC - albeit with some limitations.Yet we :VIM plus staff do live in a PC-dominated world and it's sometimes army contracts. the little things that remind you that you're a in which came minority like having to download an extra program 'tans that some to unzip files and finding you really can't watch now have the porn without Windows Media Player for However. the Mac. repeated use of IS THERE A DIFFERENCE academic staff IN SPEED? words/ tim sevenths i.rsities with too Mac processors run at contact/ [email protected] ing to provide research on the

download a 'ftpack Leeds Student www.leedsstudent.org.uk Friday, Februrary 2, 2007 4 Nel) TELEVISION Man Over Bored! Being shipwrecked is not something actually people you could imagine to the girls' island. I dont want to hate that ever really concerns me. Not just having a decent conversation with. him but he's a useless human being. because it is extremely unlikely that The freaks they choose for Big Also, that chick will not return the it will ever happen to me, but also Brother are entertaining but love that he shows him, trust me. because if you are true of heart, with exceptionally annoying and hard to Although, it is early days yet and I a die hard purpose in life, then you sympathise with. That 's not to say that may have spoken too soon about Joe, are almost guaranteed to survive a the makers of Shipwrecked do not I have no problem with his gayness, wreckage. Everyone else will drown. add the occational freak in order to that's not an issue, we're all people, You will wake up in the morning on stir things up. Now. I'm not it's his campness. stop with the some glorious beach, probably really necessarily mentioning this character campness. Help build something you thirsty with a sore neck and shredded in relation to my previous comment, whining little prick! I seem to have clothes, but generally OX. This is a but there is no doubt that this year's said too much and moved way fact. You'll get your bearings, hear a bird loving queen, Joe, was picked beyond my initial point - namely that strange noise in the jungle and then. for no other reason than to annoy me. being shipwrecked is always great. the adventures begin... Where do Channel 4 get characters It's just such an instinctually An ex Channel 4's Shipwrecked like be from? I swear they must have appealing concept where nothing and m encapsulates everything I believe a a machine that generates the same could possibly go wrong. post C shipwrecked experience to be. It's generic, overly camp, scrawny drama This is going to sound the U brilliant and genuinely realistic. It is queen for every reality show they terribly caddish, especially after bad annual such a good idea for a programme. care to create. Characters who are mouthing camp Joe, but it is an Iles Simply get beautiful people, put them that camp are just boxing. cliched essential part of Shipwrecked's LUUi in beautiful surroundings and let and more often than not, really success and hence worth a nature take its course. This year's annoying. My main gripe however, is mention:Shipwrecked always chooses offering has the usual Shark Island the fact that he refuses to help with very agreeable girls. Lianne is versus Tiger Island set up, but with a any of the manual work, opting to tremendous. Joe, I'm sorry, I feel like twist... it's girls versus boys. It's not a care for a small chick instead. Of I've judged you, but it's happened very good twist, I believe I could course help small woodland now. Prove me wrong. That's all I shall have created a better twist. However creatures, but only after you have say on the matter. the show is still proving to be as helped build the communal huts, entertaining as ever. that's a rule. He chooses to alienate I think one of the secrets to the himself and will no doubt gain a huge show's success is the tact that the amount of undeserved sympathy contestants picked for the show are when he eventually gets transferred words/ andrew edelston

Blast From The Past! Hammond's Crash: To Show or Not to Show? Time again to take a nostalgic look back at memorable shows from a bygone era. This week Absolutely, full throttle! Crystal Maze! On Sunday 8.5 million people tuned in to witness an historic event. Top Whoever thought of this show was a tals were an integral part of Crystal Maze) Gear showed what happens when you put a handsome rodent-like genius. Not only did it appeal to every- at the end. These zones were Aztec, midget in a jet powered car, the result, a 2,80mph car crash! This for me one's innate sense of adventure, and pri- Medieval, Future and Industrial. The is must see TV. We Live in a supply and demand world, and if people want mal sense of competition but it also Industrial one was actually quite crap and to see rodent-like humans crash high powered cars, I say let them! Now, allowed us to laugh at some people's hor- so got replaced by Ocean zone pretty let's not forget, there is a serious point here; a midget nearly died! It is rendous Lack of common sense at solving soon, The Aztec Zone was clearly the one important to show people what happens when things go wrong. If even the simplest of tasks. The fantastically we all wanted to watch the teams struggle Richard Hammond had died then sure, showing it may (and I stress may) slap-headed host Richard O'Brien often in what with all the sand and totem poles. have been wrong. But he didn't, he survived and is now a reminder to all shouted instructions to these simpletons Each individual game within the maze fell rodent-like midgets to be careful when driving. In my opinion, only a through the door, like "Put the letters in into one of four categories: physical - test- delinquent feminist would disagree with this view, purely because they alphabetical order Barry" or "You put the ing strength and agility; mental - basically understand nothing of the topic: they are called cars and go broom helmet on your head Sandra". O'Brien's word-association and mathematical puz- broom... cynical style and often exasperated tone zles; skill - testing dexterity and marks- at the contestants' idiocy made Crystal menaltip; and mystery could be anything words/ sebastian haire Maze worth watching alone. He looked at all! uncannily like that guy out of Right Said The show was so successful because it Fred and I always harboured hopes that encapsulated every child's fantasy of solv- Woah, slam the brakes on! he would one day rip off his shirt and ing tasks, deciphering clues and turning The beeb were wrong to broadcast the crash, not because it was in bad burst into a tribute rendition of 'I'm Too cogs. It was always my personal dream to taste but because it unecessarily massaged the ego of the man diving in it. Sexy'. Possibly the best named host ever one day have a good old muck about in I mean Hamster? With his chest beating spectacle on the testosterone in Edward Tudor-Pole took over from him the world Crystal Maze created but sadly bank better known as Top Gear, rd say ape was more fitting. Having been for the final two series but the Bald One this was never realised. lucky enough to have survived a serious brain injury sustained from a remains synonymous with the show in my Of course the whole 'crystals' element 7million mph (give or take a couple) collision whilst driving the jet mind, was in fact highly unnecessary in practical engined car 'vampire' (000h how scary sounding), Hammond's recent The Maze terms but it was needed to give the show a delve into self glorification gave a whole new meaning to the term 'car itself consisted unique selling point and capture the audi- crash TV'. Clearly feeling shadowed, literally, by his co-host Jeremy of four themed ence's imagination. "So basically we watch Clarkson, it appears he has healed from his physical injuries only to be zones that the people go round a maze?" How boring. overtaken by the infamous psychological pitfall of many a midget male - participants "What. they get crystals?!" Wow. when's it small man syndrome. Vertically challenged Hammond is clearly were guided on? I mean anything involving crystals has attempting to deflect attention away from his frame deficit by milking, what round in their got to be worth watching. is essentially a lesson for all dangerous drivers, by portraying himself as a attempt to win big man. His entrance on the show said it all; the gerbil, sorry hamster, crystals and made his way down a set of airline boarding stairs flanked by show girls. v. time in the No doubt he was hoping to take them for a ride later to show off his jay main crystal stick_ Keep it for the pub Hammond, we don't want to hear it. structure (crys- words/ Laurie whitwell words/ hind hassan

pg22/teleirtsortils2/020207 We're all going on a, sum- unfortunate souls who are enough to try to smuggle mer holiday! Jail... A sad now getting abused in drugs? They have dogs Banged Up Abroad reality for marry. Try and overseas jails for trying to these days that just know smuggle drugs out of a bring back too many you have drugs, just intu- 11pm riday country and you could end 13&H's, and other harmful itively. Leave it to the pro- up in the big house. Fact. products. Play with fire... fessionals. Five ebruary This series follows the Who is honestly stupid Andrew EdeLston OUr hat people can E T WO itv 4 =re during the OW t attacks more 6.00 CBeebies. Fimbles. five 6.00 Breakfast. 9.15 Wanted 6.20 The 6.00 GMT)/ 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle 6.10 The limbs. 6.35 The Hoobs 6.00 Elmo's World. 6.15 Rote Down Under. 10.00 Homes under Story Makers. 6.40 Balamory. 7.00 Show. 10.30 C U • This Morning. 12.00 7.00 Freshly Squeezed. 7.30 Polio Olie 6.40 Bird Bath. 6.50 Hi csearch which the Hammer. 11.00 To Buy or Not CBBC: Tom 7.25 Newsman& 7.30 This Morning: Dancing on Ice Atrium Friends 8.00 Everybody Loves 5. 7.25 Miss Spider's Sunny Patch SALSOUL analysed by to Buy. 11.30 Car Booty. 12.15 Even Stevens. 7.50 Batfink. 8.00 Special. 12.30 Loose Women. 1.30 Friends. 7.35 The Adventures of Raymond. 8.30 Everybody Loves salsa. limbo. latin nway of the Cash in the Attic. 1.00 BBC News Suspect 8.30 CBeebiev Bob the ITV Lunchtime News; Weather. Raymond. 9.00 Frasier. 9.30 The Bottle Top Bill and His Best trim' RESSURECTION ,ical Sciences, Weather. 1.30 Regional News and Builder. Project Build IL 8.40 2.00 60 Minute Makeover. 3.00 Deadly Knowledge Show. 10.00 Corky. 7.45 Make Way for Noddy. inche re linked to Weather. 1.40 Neighbours. 2.05 Tweenies. 9.00 Me Too! 9.20 Daily Cooks. 4.00 Morse: 20 Years. From the Top. 10.30 Day I Got The 8.00 Fit and the Flowertots 8.15 Baby Jupiter These Doctors. 2.35 Diagnosis Murder. Pingu. 9.30 Something Special. 6.00 Calendar. Sack. 11.00 Teen Tycoons 11.30 Peppa Pig. 8.25 Thomas & Friends. SUPERBAD 3.20 BBC News; Weather; 9.45 Come Outside. 10.00 Boogie 6.30 ITV Evening News; Tricky Business Two. 12.00 News 8.35 Sailor Sid. 8.40 Roobarb and funk. jazz & soul escrihed as Regional News. 3.25 CBBC: Seebies. 10.15 Jackanory Junior. Weather_ The latest at Noon. 12.30 Ed 1.20 FILM: Custard Too. 8.50 Mio Mao. 9.00 : events which Lazytown. 350 The Likeaballs. 10.30 Razzleclaule. 10.50 Words national and international Away All Boats (1956). War, The Wright Stuff. 10.30 Trisha Baia Beach Club tai resonance", 4,00 Raven:The Island. 4.30 Best and Pictures. 11.00 Starship. 11.20 FEEL GOOD FRIDAY cc of the event news. starring Jeff Chandler and George Goddard. 11.30 five news. 12.00 NIGHTS of Friends. 5.00 Gina's Laughing Maths Challenge. 11.30 Maths 7.00 Emmerdale. Andy gets in Nader. 3.30 Countdown 4.15 Deal Home and Away. 12.30 Radio Aire Ws I as where the Gear 5.30 Newsruund. 5.35 Challenge. 11.40 Around Scotland, a rage when Billy tries to or No Deal. 5.00 Richard and Judy. BrainTeaser. 1.30 FILM.- The at they were Neighbours_ 12.00 The Daily Politics_ 12.30 warn him about Jo. Rodney 6.00 The Simpsons. Awakening (1995). Drama, starring Creation the list .of 6.D0 BBC News and Weather. Working Lunch. 1.30 FILM. The UNITE invests his profits in 6.30 Hollyoaks. Cynthia Geary and David Beecroft, party. dance & r'n'b was the death 6.30 Look North; Weather. Rains of Ranchipur (1955) Drama, another scheme. The police 7.00 Channel 4 News. 3.30 FILM: Always Remember I . is interesting 7.00 A Question of Sport. starring Lana Turner and Richard speak to Jimmy about the 7.30 The Insider: The Muslim Love You (1990). Drama, starling Faversham Wallace a 7.30 Inside Out. Surprising Burton. 3.15 Perfect Strangers. truck. Hangover Cure. Topical Patty Duke and Stephen Dorff. 5.30 NEW BOHEMIA .ident "But it is funk, soul with DJ For stories from familiar places. 3.45 Flog Iti 4.30 Ready Steady wwwitar.com/emmerdale. current affairs series. five news. course most As Yorkshire's football fans Cook 5.15 Weakest Link. 7.30 Coronation Street. Tracy Teetotal Muslim casualty 6.00 Home and Away. Fibre r where they makes an exhibition of 6.30 In the Grid. pay more for their seats, 6.00 Safari School. doctor Zubalr Mulla offers HIGH FIBRE BREAKFAST eople in our Morland Sanders reveals 6.30 Masterchef Goes Large. herself in the Rovers. Slug a forthright way of tackling 7.00 five news. Drew Scott. Stuart Robin- certainly the it's actually cheaper to fly Four heat winners battle it leads Becky astray and they Britain's binge-drinking 7.30 Wild Events. take Willers son with funk elec tro fed me." ventures into the Amazon abroad to watch a game. our for a semi-final place as embark on a joyride Liam culture. HiFI Club 8.00 EastEnders. chef/restaurateur John and Joanne get it on in 8.00 A Place in the Sun: rainforest to seek out army FUNKSOULNATION 8.30 After You've Gone. Torode and vegetable guru Underworld. Home or Away. Property ants. A single squadron of 70's soul, funk Sitcom centring around a Gregg Wallace look for the wwvv.itvcom/coronationstre series. Farming couple John these tiny creatures can mts lack-of-all-trades who gets country's next star chef. et. and Jo Coates try to decide massacre some 100,000 Metropolitan University arthropods a day. STAR + ELECTRIC HEAD divorced and ends up living 7.00 Dr Alice Roberts: Don't 8.00 DIY RIP: Tonight. Carol whether to search for a metal, rock & indie mess with his mother•n-law. Die Young. Health Smillie reports on tough holiday retreat on Dorset's 8.00 Nick Baker's Weird Jimmy buys Diana a new documentary series with times lacing hardware Jurassic Coast Of in Creatures. Naturalist Nick Mock computer to drag her into anatomist Dr Alice Roberts. retailers and the rise of a Alicante, Spain. Baker journeys to the Andes SEAISILBEATS soul. funk, pop. r'n'b the 21st century. This week she tests a heart new trend ? GSI, or Get 9.00 Ugly Betty. Comedy to seek out the grant xual and Trans 9.00 Lilies. Drama series set in under stress. Someone In, as Britons drama series. Betty shows 'saggy-skinned Lake Northern Light 19205 Liverpool, based 7.30 Jimmy's Diaries. appear to be abandoning up for the Mode Halloween Titicaca frog, the world's CENTRAL BEAT2 L holding an around the lives of three 8.00 A New Year at Kew. DIY projects. costume contest only to largest aquatic frog. ROOM 237 ;hid' will run sisters. Iris and Father Series following the staff 8.30 Midsomer Murders, discover that there isn't 9.00 NCIS. Series following arum 'n' boss it Coffee Hour special agents who Melia are thrown together and visitors of the Royal Starring John Nettles. When one Ocean the Arc of the as a scarlet fever epidemic Botanic Gardens, Kew. In a band re-form to play at 10.00 Friday Night Project. investigate comes RELEASE en 12 and 2. the Midsomer Rocks Entertainment for Friday connected to the Navy. The threatens the street. early summer, Simon Cole house, dance, disco rive on issues 10.00 88C News; Regional goes out to help a Inml Festival, their paranoid lead night with comedians NCIS team investigate the Wire rnmunity. arid News: Weather. primary school build a pond singer is certain that Justin Lee Collins and Alan fatal shooting of an officer. POLAROID movided on a 10.35 Comedy Connections. and wildlife garden. someone is trying to scare Carr. Tonight's guest host Is 10.00 Law and Order. with Headman. Joe sexual health. Sires charting the history 8.30 Grow Your Own Veg! them off. Jamie Oliver. Criminal Intent, US Morris & Nick smith police drama series that T history. of the best of British 9.00 Timewatch: The first 10.30 ITV News; Weather. The 11.05 FILM: Double Team comedy looks at Marks and Blitz. latest national and (1997), Thriller about a CIA looks inside the minds of gigs LGBT society agent who is interned for criminals. Goren and Eames Cockpit Gran's 1980s sitcom The 9.50 Coast: East Coast • Fish international news. plus LARRIKIN LOVE nes and some New Statesman, with Rik Fingers and Butlins. national weather. Including failing in a mission to kill investigate the kidnap and all the free killing of a prominent Mayall as an unscrupulous 10.00 Room 101. loral news programmes an international terrorist. Fenton y provided on Tory MP. 10.30 Newsnight. 11.00 Al Murray's Happy Escaping from his island atheist. LYCAN 11.15 FlUN: Metro (1997). 11.00 Newsnight Review. Hour. McFly enter the exile, he teams up with a 11.00 Banged Up Abroad. A establishment to play their flamboyant arms dealer, true life 'Midnight Express' HiFi Club he week will Action thriller about a 11.35 International One-Day NAPOLEON IIIRD the 7th of police hostage negotiator Cricket. Buhl Persad new single. But will they starring Jean-Claude Van story following the experiences of Mark, a of the LOB-1' whose skills are tested to presents highlights of the serenade Al with a Queen Damme and Dennis Josephs Well traveller who decided to the limit when a one-dayer between England melody? Also dropping in Rodman. HIGHER SIGHTS se night is run The Album Chan Show. risk his freedom and his life psychopath threatens to and Australia from Sydney, will be Emma Bunton, 12.45 last one was a in order to clear his debts. Packhorse hold the entire city of San part of the triangular series James Hewitt and Duncan 120 Hostage Tapes: Kidnapped for THE AUDIOPILOTS me, with a new Trouble in Paradise: The 12.00 Prison Break. 1.00 Quiz Francisco to ransom, that also involves New Bannatyne. Love. 2.20 le even better. Pitcairn Story. World Cup Call_ 5.35 Wildlife SOS. starring Eddie Murphy and Zealand. 12.00 ITV Play: Make Your Play. 3.20 k, on lower 5.00 SnowboarcL 5.15 Countdown. Michael Rapaport. 12.15 Star Trek. 1.05 Star Trek. 4.10 60 Minute Makeover. rotator Disco) ITV Early 1.10 Joins BBC News 24. 1.55 Joins BBC News 24 ITV Nightscreen. 5.30 Morning News.

• .,'ollege" Union that first class ubsidised with l itions. 'help kit' for erm or hourly- Ls part of the ■satisfied? lc better terms The National Student Survey is a survey ;4000 plus staff ■ of final year undergraduates. scary econatrcea . n ovvhwhich e Tv c amea you Make your voice heard - log on or be left out eans that some the G: 200 free printer credits will be given to all However, the rrrrrrrrrrr National 'epeated use of students who complete the survey academic staff Check your University of Leeds email to get Student rsities with too details of how to take part. ing to provide Sur y search on the 1.rivey starts S February 20'17 www.thesludentsurvey.com 0 download a iffrpack Leeds Student www.leedsstudent.org.uk Friday, Februrary 2, 2007 4 Nev Ire PokerFace is the The simple premise is is Ant and Dec's typical gameshow that attempts that you do not have to Geordie brand of PokerFace to bridge the gap know all the answers to comedy double act. It is a between a person's lack win the 50 grand but you credit to them that it has 13:05p.m of general knowledge have to be able to make not yet gone stale, and then ability to win your opponents think you ITV') prize money in a quiz. do. Interspersed with this Laurie Whitwell Bp. ONE TWO 4 five The Cubeez. 6.10 The Hoobs, 6.00 Salome. 7.00 Franklin. 7.30 6.00 Bteakfasi 10.00 Saturday 6.00 CBeebies: Balarnory. 6.20 6.00 GMTV. 9.25 CTN.: Horrid 6.00 7.00 Goalissimo! Miss Spider's Sunny Patch Friends club Kitchen- 11.30 Bill's Food. 12.00 Tweenies. 6.40 Big Cook Little Henry, 9.40 CITV: Grizzly Tales for 6.35 The Hoobs. 7.45 The Adventures of Bottle Top Atriurn BBC News; Weather. 12-10 Cook. 7.00 CEIBC: ilatfink. 7.10 Gruesome Kids. 9.55 CITV: Tricky 8.00 The Morning Line. 3.50 T4: SATURDAYS 14: Friends. 9.55 Bill and His Best Friend Corky. 7.53 Football Focus. 1.00 Six Nations Astro Boy. 7.30 Yvon of the Yukon. Quickies. 10,00 CITV: Scratch 'n' Homemade. 9.25 house. soul. funk, r'n'b Make Way for Noddy. 8.10 Rugby. 3.20 BBC News; Regional 7.50 MB. 8.15 Zombie Hotel. Sniff's Den Of Doom. 10.30 T4; Pnpworld, 10.45 14: Harry and His Bucket Full of Dinosaurs. Bata Beach Chita News: Weather 3.30 Six Nations 8.40 what's New Scooby Doo? Dickinson's Real Deal. 11.30 Dreamgirls: T4 Movie Special, 8.25 Harry and His Bucket Full of SHAMELESS PLEASURE Rugby. 5.50 final Score. 9.00 !Mi. 11.45 Sponsmund. Saturday Cooks Live. 1.00 ITV 11.15 T4: Friends, 11.45 T4: Dinosaurs &40 Gerald Nickin 6.00 When Will I Re Famous? 12.00 See Hear. 12.45 Aim 2007 News; Weather. 1.10 Calendar Shipwrecked 2007: The Hut Cam g BOnJ Beach Club 12,2014: Shipwrecked Boing_ 9.05 Jane and the Dragon. BOOGIE NIG Graham Norton introduces with Jonathan floss- News and Weather 1.15 The BRITS Diaries. 1.25 9.35 Don't Blame the Koalas. From the makers of variety acts who perform in Churchill's Bodyguard, 2.00 Monk. Are Coming. 1.45 American Idol. 2007: Battle of the Islands. Channel 4 10,05 Hercules: Legendary 'LOve Train' a series of head-to•head 2.45 FILM: Alexander the Great 2.45 FILM Duel in the Sun (1946). 14: Homemade. 2,00 Journeys. 11.05 Xcalibur. showdownsalhe winners (1956). Drama, starring Richard Western, starring Jennifer Jones Racing from Sundown Park and 11.40 Cockpit Aliens among Us. 11.50 then go through to Me Burton and Fredric March. 4.55 and Joseph Cotten, 5.05 Calendar wetherby. 4.15 Deal or No Deal. FILM: THE GARAGE Androcles and the Lion (1952J. final for a chance to win What the Papers Say. 5.05 TOTP 2 News, Sport and Weather. 5.20 ITV 5.00 The Search rock. metal. post-punk Comedy, starring the weekly 10,000 pound 5.40 Meerkat Manor. News; Sports Results; Weather 6.05 Channel 4 News. Jean Simmons and Alan Young. 1.50 Russell Creation prize. 6.05 Meerkat Manor. 5.35 New You've Been Framed! 6.35 Do You Want to Live An ex LIVE AT CREATION g Grant's Postcards 1.55 FILM:The 7.00 Weakest Link. Anne 6.30 Natural World. 6.05 Harry Hill's TV Burp. The Forever? Award-winnin and m porly, dance, r'n'ta Slipper and the Rose (1976. Robinson presents a special Documentary revealing the Double British Comedy director Christopher Sykes ) post ea Evolution edition of the general varied wildlife of Cuba, Award winner takes a look follows computer scientist Musical, starring Richard the U I LOVE S.E.X. knowledge quiz in which including the bee at what's on the telly this tuturned renowned biologist Chamberlain and Gemma Craven, annual party. r'n'b & hip hop nine comedians including hummingbird, crocodiles, week, including the return Dr Aubrey de Grey on the 4.30 FILM: Kidnapped (1960), Flea Frank Carson, Ed Byrne, Phil purple land crabs, sea of old favourites Wild at road as he investigates the Adventure. starring Peter Finch and Faversham James MacArthur LLTU is BA17 SNEAKERS Cornwell compete for turtles and giant iguanas Heart and You Are What possibilites of immortality. rock, punk, funk. soul charity 7.20 The Culture Show. Bill You Eat. 8.05 Britain'sWont Weather. 6.20 FILM: Return of the 7.50 The National Lottery: 1 Bailey's cosmiccosm shindig, 80s 6-35 Dancing on Ice. Expect Professor Nick Middleton of Seven (1966). Sequel to y Rousese vs 100. comedian Ted Chippinglon, the glitz and glamour of Oxford University The Magnificent Seven in ASICS which two of the ori specialduests Andy 8.35 When Willi Be Famous? the alternativern folk scene, Hollywood as our investigates some of ginal Cato loove Armada] Graham Norton introduces and Patrick Stewart. remaining nine stars take Britaia's most extreme Seven gather five more & Ketaloco the winning variety acts 8.10 Wild Caribbean. Every to the ice to perform weather conditions, as recruits to track down some from the earlier show to year in the Caribbean spectacular movie-inspired global temperatures and bandits and rescue their Northern find out who the public at hurricanes rip forests apart routines. sea levels continue to rise kidnapped friend, staring yar THE DIRTY DISCO Notting Hill Brynnar and Bonen Rate Oxia, Rob Da Bank. home loved the most. The and coral reefs are turned 8.05 PokerFace. Six more 9.05 FILM: Adel n8, Max. Sedgley two most popular lace to rubble. These are the contestants try to bluff (1999). Romantic comedy B.00 five news and sport. each other for 10,000 survival stories of the their way to 50 grand and about the relationship 8.10 NCI5. A marine's gruesome The Subculture pounds, islands' wildlife residents. a place in the final of Ant & between a famous death leads the team to IMAGINARY FRIENDS 9.05 Tchaikaysky: Fortune discover that he was selling electro. 805, synthpop 9.05 Casually. Kelsey agonises Dec's game show. Will their American movie actress over whether to tell Selena and Tragedy. Obessesed PokerFaces take then to and an unassuming British weapons illegally. University, StylUs the truth about Nathan. by the idea of Fate, victoryry or will they lose book shop owner who meet 9.05 C.51:NY. Mac and Stella VICIOUS CIRCLE • Harry's had enough when Tchaikovksy's life became a their nerve? by chance in the Notting investigate when two hard house with Andy news of Alice's hatrassment desperate battle to become Hill area of London, stamen bungee-jumpers report a Farley and more 9.05 Dancing on Ice . The claim is leaked to the the kind of man and the Skate Off. With the votes Hugh Gran! and Julia Roberta body on the Brooklyn Warehouse papers_ kind of composer he counted, there are still two 11.25 FILM Bitter Moon Bridge. Danny and Hawkes ASYLUM & TECHNIQUE 9.55 BBC News; Weather. wanted to be. couples skating on thin Ice. (1992). Drama. Story of a probe the violent death of with Tobi Neumann. Bat- 10.15 Match of the Day. 10.05 ComedyMap of Britain. 9.35 Al Murray's Happy highly erotic relationship, an heiress. ton! [Wel & Microlunk Highlights of all today's A journeyrn around the UK, Hour, The pub gets spacey narrated to an 10.05 Law and Order. Briscoe gigs Premier League games, pinpointing the places that this week, when astronaut uncomfortable Englishman, and Green are on the hunt Oraidenell Social including the Merseyside have inspired our comic Buzz Aldrin ;eh in with by a paralysed American for a murderer who shot Club derby between Uverpool talents. supermodel and Top Gear writer. The listener is drawn and kilted two professors 0 FRACAS and Everson, Charlton v 11.05 Never Mind the speedster Jodie Kidd. into the story's shocking 11.05 FILM: Dead Again Buucocks. Comedy pop conclusion, starring Pete, (1991). Mystery in which a C ockatif Chelsea and Watford v Sophie Ells-Bextor tries to 13 SENSES Bolton. quiz with host Simon avoid the inevitable Queen Coyote awl Ernmandalle private eye tries to unravel 11.35 FILM: Earthquake Amstell and team captains cover. Stegner the past of a woman Common Ground (1974). Disaster epic about Bill Bailey and Phill Jupitus 10_35 ITV News; Weather. 2.00 FILM: Kong Pow: Enter the suffering irom amnesia THEORETICAL GIRL a series of devastating The guests are Alan Davies, 10.50 Hollywood's Leading Men: Fist (2002). Comedy, starring Steve who is haunted by Favershans tremors that cause havoc in Chris Peck, Malt and FILM Unbreakable Oerfeketk and Fei Lung. 3.30 FILM: nightmares involving a THE VIOLETS the bustling and glamorous Nerina Paltot. (2000). damn arum Willis Meet the Applegates (1990). murder, Kenneth city of Los Angeles, The film 1135 Mock the Week. &le Sarndel L Jeevdde. Comedy, starring Ed Begley Jr and Etbulagn and Emma Thomoson. Hanover Arms won an Oscar for its visual 12.05 Room 101. 12.35 Have I 12.40 ITV Play Make Your Play. Stockard Charming. 5.05 Journey 1,10 Quiz Call 535 Wildlife SOS. NORTHERN BEATS effects, alarelie Chariton Got old News for You 1.05 4.25 Don't Move, Improve. 5.00 through the Night. 5.15 Heston and Ave Gardner FILM: Viva Maria! (1965). ITV Nightscreen, 5.30 ITV Early Countdown. 1.40 Joins BBC News 24. Comedy, starring Jeanne Morning News. Moreau and Brigitte Bardot. 3.00 The Culture Show. 3.50 Close NTU RE :END; SOCIETI

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The castaway show full make more sense of the exchanges when the Shipwrecked 2007: of beautiful people has inhabitants' sometimes groups meet at each Battle of the Islands returned and thank God! baffling schemes. Another week's beach party. It is unday On at a later time than last change this time around is also already clear that the 6:3 Sp.m year, it allows us to that the boys and girls men will win. I do not ebruary observe these lovelies have been kept separate need to explain why. Channel 4 with a clearer head and so expect even more lusty Laurie VVhitwell

IICHR hat people can TWO item 1 1 five re during the 4 t attacks more Breakfast. 735 Match of the 6.00 CBeebies: Balamory. 6.20 6.00 GMTV. 9.2.5 CITY: 6.00 The Cubeez. 6.10 The Hoobs. 6.00 Elmo's World. 6.15 Rohe ;6.00 Horrid t. Day. 9.00 Sunday AM. 10.00 Tweenies. 6.40 Big Cook Little Henry. 9.40 CITY: Curious George 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Trans World Pulie Ofie 6.40 Sailor Sid. 6.45 club -esearch which Heaven and Earth with Gloria Cook. 7.00 CBBC: Batlink 7.10 9.55 Pocoyo. 10.00 CITV: Sport. 7.55 T4: Ocean Rescue: The Bird Bath, 6.55 Franklin 7.20 Miss analysed by Hunniford 11,00 Countryfile CBBC: The Batman, 730 Smile. Jim Jam and Sunny. 10.15 CITV: Race Against Time 8.55 T4: Spider's Sunny Patch Friends 7.35 FILM NIGHT I The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill inway of the 12.00 The Politics Show. 1,00 10.00 Something for the Weekend. Jim Jam and Sunny. 10.30 The Popworld. 9.40 14: Friends. 10.15 Fibre EastEnders. 2.30 Super League 11.30 Malcolm in the Middle Championship. 11.30 The Sunday 14: Hollyoaks Omnibus 12_4514: and His Best Friend Corky. 7.45 FEDERATION CLASSICS :ical Sciences, Show 3.00 Six Nations Rugby 11.50 FILM: The Island on Bird Edition with Andrew Rawnsley and Shipwrecked 2007: The Hut Cam Make Way for Noddy. 8.00 Harry Stuartgje Robinson re linked to Union. 5.00 Wildlife on One. 5.10 Street (1997). War, starring Patrick Andrea Catherwood. 12.30 Diaries 1.20 T4: Friends. 1.50 14: and His Bucket Full of Dinosaurs_ These Beauty and the Geek. 2_5014: 8.15 Harry and His Bucket Full of Fu EastEnders. 5.40 Songs of Praise. Bergin and Jacob Rasmussen. 1.30 Calendar News and Sport 1235 The SHINE lescribed us 6.15 When Love Comes to World Sevens Rugby. 2.30 FILM: PT American Idol. 1.35 Dancing on OC. 3.5014; Ugly Betty. 450 Deal Dinosaurs. 8.30 Gerald McBoing house music events which Town. Documentary series 109 (1963) War, starring Cliff Ice. 3.05 Dancing on Ice - The or No Deal. 535 Time Team. Born 9.00 lane and the Dragon. la/ resonance", which follows 16 strangers Robertson and Ty Hardin, 4.45 Ski Skate Off 3.35 FILM:The Mirror 6.35 Shipwrecked 2007: 9.30 What Makes Me Happy. 9.45 Hifi Club cc of the event Battle of the Islands. Demolition Dad. 10.00 Round the THE SUNDAY JOINT on a journey to find love Sunday 5.30 My Life with Animals: Crack'd (1980). Thriller, starring live iazz & funk bands/ I as where the Ahead of her dates, Rachel Saba Douglas-Hamilton. Elizabeth Taylor and Rock Hudson Reality series in which two Twist 10.30 Hospital 11.00 at they were Snobs 11.35 RAft The Groms Tour artists. DJs MJ SoLJI 8. fears her shyness will get in 6.10 Meerkat Manor. 530 12 Books That Changed the rival groups are marooned Malcolm X the list of the Baltics. 12.05 Arthur's Trip to the way of any potential 6.35 Meerkat Manor. The World on neighbouring islands in was the death the South Pacific. The teams India 12.35 Revelations. 1.10 five Mook romance. meerkat drama continues 6.30 Calendar News and I is interesting compete for the latest news update 1.15 Divine Designs. FLYTTME 6.45 Antiques Roadshow. when one of Flower's pups, Sport. latin nom. old skool funk r Wallace a Michael Aspel and the Mitch, steals some 6.45 ITV News; Weather. arrival, 21 .year-old Amy 1.45 FILM. Ambush at Tomahawk Gap (1953). Western, starring John & soul ACM "But it is team visit Holkham Hall, poisonous insects from his 7.00 Emmerdale. Andy publicly Blackburn Hodiak and John Derek. 3.10 FILM course most where objects under siblings and ends up at declares that he wants Jo. 7.40 Channel 4 News. Northern Light Man of the House (1995). Comedy, ✓ where they scrutiny include an antique death's door not Katie. Rodney coramues 8.00 FILM The Wedding VERY VERY VERY starring Chevy Chase and Farrah WRONG INDEED eople in our three leaf clover brooch 7.00 Ray Mears' Wild Food. to hide the truth from Planner (2001). Romantic Fawcett. 5.00 FILM: Daddy Day edgy house certainly the and a cannon used an the Ray Mears explores the lost Georgina. Belle gets her comedy about a hard- Care (2002). Comedy, starring fetime." North West Frontier of foods of Britain's Stone Age. test results Jack takes the working and ambitious Reform Eddie Murphy and Anlelica Huston India. Examining the woodland's family out wedding planner whose LOOKANDUSTEN 650 five news and sport. aiv night 7.35 BBC News; Regional offerings, he visits the site 7.30 Coronation Street. Has highly organised life The latest national and News; Weather. in Scotland of one of the Becky burnt her bridges thangeS when she quite )sts international headlines Wire 8.00 Rough Diamond. Drama biggest finds of Stone Age with the Croppers? Sonny literally falls for her top KLICK 7.00 FILM: Nutty Professor II: series set against the foods. schmoozes the Connors - client's fiance, slurring & r ''S The Klumps (2000). .1ness backdrop of the world of 8.00 Top Gear. Jeremy makes a and it seems to be working. Jenntler Lopez and Matthew mocanaapney Madcap sequel in which racehorses in rural Ireland. public information film, Tracy refuses to rein-in her 10.00 FILM The Long Kiss the portly professor gigs Arian Doherty intends to James drives quickly and all wild ways_ Goodnight (1996). No- Klump's wedding plans are emigrate to Australia. when three get thrown off a golf 8.00 Wild at Heart. Stephen holds-barred action thriller scuppered by his manic a son he never knew he course Tompkinson and Lucy-Jo xual and Trans about an amnesiac alter-ego, mamma Eddie had turns up. 9.00 Louis Theroux: Hudson star in the safari holding an schoolteacher who learns Murphy and Janet Jackson. Coekt, t 9.00 Waking the Dead. Police Gambling in Las Vegas. drama With Sarah still in hich will run she was once a government 9.00 FILM: Welcome to the DAN SARTAIN drama series based around 10.00 Match of the Day 2. England, Danny must cope ir Coffee Hour assassin, Starring Geena Dews Jungle (2003). Action cold cases. The team is 10.45 Ideal xmas. While Moz with the pressure of the Jose )h;WeII the and Samuel L Jackson adventure story in which a AEREOGRAMME Arc of the drawn back to a horrific enjoys a seasonal spliff, his Nature Conservation's 12.10 4 Music Presents... Bloc bounty hunter, indebted to .0 12 and 2. double parricide from 1967 pregnant girlfriend snags a annual inspection alone. Party 12.40 4 Music The Album a mob boss, searches for New Roscoe ive. on issues when a decomposed body woman and his mam makes 9.00 Trial 8 Retribution. Suzy THE SMYTHS (tribute) McDonald entrusts her Chart Show. 1.10 The Return of the gangster's son, a nummity. and is found buried in a a surprise entrance with a would-be archaeologist baby with a nanny when Courtney Love. 2.10 Hostage royale() on a Hampstead garden karaoke machine. who is working in the she hay to go on away on Tapes. Bank Raid in Paradise. 3.10 *top tickets sexual health, 10.00 BBC News; Regional 11.15 Ideal. With his pregnant ARNIM jungle, starring Tee I:08709 9 1391 3 business. When the trip 15 638 Ways to Kill Castro. 4.35 KOTV. 1' history. News; Weather. girlfriend living in a lesbian Rack and Seam Wigan Soon web: alive.c0.uk/tickets cut short and she returns 5.00 Supporting Acts. 5.15 LGBT society 10.20 FILM: Gideon's relationship, Moz shifts his 11.05 Disorderly Conduct. home, the nanny is missing. Countdown, US CHINA CRISIS' Daughter (2005). Drama attentions to new documentary series tes and some 1030 ITV News; Weather. Leeds City Vcrieties: 6in about a PR consultant. neighbour Judah. featuring footage of real- all the free 10.45 NFL Superbowl - Live. Feb. courted by the government 11.45 Louis Theroux's Weird life car crashes, drug busts, provided on Gary lmlach presents live to manage the millennium Weekends. Weird high-speed pursuits and COURTNEY FINE. coverage of Super Bowl %Li Leeds University; oth Feb. festivities, who finds the America, explored by Louis more Teenage joyriders flee he from the Dolphin Stadium. will hollowness of his high- Theruux In this film. Louis from police and crash into South Florida, as the JUDIE 1ZUKE" the 7th of profile public life exposed investigates the world of a lake Leeds City Varieties Chicago Bears take on the n of wethe eek" LGBr by two relationships, the male porn performer, 12.05 Natural Born Racers 12,30 Music Hat 17th Feb. Indianapolis Colts for the le night is run starring Bit Ninny and Raoen and gets his own kit off. The Raid. 12.55 World's Strongest Vince Lombardi trophy THE LONG BLONDES' fast Lheldraay 12.35 International One-Day Man. 1.45 Boxing Classic. 2.25 Play: The Mint. 4.30 ITV Leeds MetrotoornIon 12.05 The Sky at Night. 12.50 Cricket. 1.15 Family Guy. 1.35 3.30 ITV One on One with John Barnes with new 5.30 ITV Early University: 12th Feb. Sign Zone: Can Gerry Robinson Family Guy. 100 FILM: The Beast in Nightscreen. 255 Adventure Tnathlon. 3.25 to even better. Morning News. Fix the NHS? 1.50 Sign Zone: the Cellar (1971). Horror, starring Seniors Golf Review of the Year. lower Holby City 2.50 Sign Zone: Beryl Reid and Flora Robson, 3.25 4.30 NCAA College Basketball. 'Tok' on Disco) Expedition Borneo. 3.20 Joins BBC Joins BBC News 24, s. News 24. - - exarrl I493 1, bad Student Advice Centre UCU allege Union that first class ubsidised with

r 'help kit' for cnn or hourly- is pail of the re better terms 1,000 plus staff irary contracts. Can mean serious trouble••• on which came cans dial some now have the However, the If you've been accused of plagiarizing, seek advice. Visit the Student Advice Centre in LUU. repeated use of academic staff For information on what plagiarism is and how to avoid it, visit our website: rsities with too ing to pnwide www.luuonline.com/help/problems/problemsmainpage.php -esearch on the O download a Jftpack

4- 4 Leeds Student www.leedsstudent.org.uk Friday, Februrary 2, 2007 Nev

Don't miss the latest in Grant give us a comedy as the year's big films Film 2002 with Jonathan film entertainment with about a faded popatar battle it out for the major Monda Ross news and reviews of the attempting his comeback prizes. our attention is turned towards the Februar new releases. In this edi- via reality TV; and 11:05p.m tion, Rossy looks at: Music Hannibal Rising which awards season with For Your Consideration. and Lyrics in which Drew traces the roots of cine- BRIM 1 Barryrnore and Hugh ma's moat evil villain. And Jordan Barber ONE TWO itv 4 five 6.00 6.00 Breakfast 9.15 Wanted 6.00 CBeebies: Fimbles. 6.20 The 6.00 GMN. 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle 6.00 The Cubeez. 6.10 The Hoobs. Tickle, Patch and Friends club Down Under 10.00 Homes under This Morning. 12.00 6.35 The Hoobs. 7.00 Freshly 6.25 Old Bear Stories_ 6.35 Bird Bondi Beach Story Makers_ 6.40 Balamory. 7.00 Show. 10.30 the Hammer. 11.00 To Buy or Not [BBC: Tom. 7.25 Newsruund. 7.30 This Morning Dancing on Ice Squeezed. 7.30 Friends. 8.00 Bath. 6.45 HIS. 7.20 Miss Spider's Club Everybody Loves Raymond. 8.30 Sunny Patch Friends, 7.35 The MENTAL MONDAY to Buy 11.45 Car Booty. 12.15 Even Stevens. 7.50 Batfink 8.00 Special. 12.30 Louse Women. 1.30 8.55 student nioht Bargain Hunt. 1.00 BBC News; Suspect. 8.30 CBeebies: Bnh the IN Lunchtime News; Weather Everybody Loves Raymond. Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and Weather. 1.30 Regional News and Builder: Project Build It. 8.40 2.00 60 Minute Makeover. 3.00 Frasier. 9.30 The Deadly His Best Friend Corky. 7.45 Make flab Cede Weather. 1.40 Neighbours. 2.05 Tweenies 9.00 Doodle Do. 9.20 Daily Cooks. 4.00 Morse: 20 Years. Knowledge Show. 10.00 The Way for Noddy. 8.00 Frfi and the SON OF THE VILLAGE 10.30 The Market 11.00 Flowertots IDIOT Doctors, 235 Diagnosis Murder. Ethelbert the Tiger. 9.30 Something 6.00 Calendar. Hustlers. 8.25 Thomas & Friends_ rock. punk & skci 3.20 BBC News; Weather; Regional Special. 9.45 Come Outside. 10.00 6.30 ITV Evening News; Trouble Online. 11.30 Tricky 8.35 Sailor Sid 8.40 Roobarb and News. 3.25 0313e Chuck leVision Boogie Beebres. 10.15 Toddworld. Weather. Business Two, 12.00 News at Custard Too. 9.00 The Wright Stuff. 3.40 What's New Scooby Doe? 10.30 Big Slam Poetry 10.50 7,00 Emmerdale. Perdy and Noon. 12.30 Ed. 1.20 Science 10.30 Trisha Goddard. t1.30 five LATE NIGHT LAUNDRY Sams. 1.30 FILM; Gond Morning, news. 12.00 Home and Away. student night 4.00 Raven 4.30 Best of Friends. Around Scotland: Clearances Gray catch Rodney out. Billy 5,00 Mi High. 5.30 Newsmuncl. 11.10 Maths Challenge. 11.20 breaks up a fight between Miss Dove (2 955). Drama, starring 12.30 Brainteaser. 1.35 FILM: Hifi Club 5.35 Neighbours Maths Challenge. 11.30 Katie and Jo. Debbie wants Jennifer Jones and Robert Stack Columbo: Butterfly in Shades of SWEET REVIVAL 6.00 BBC News and Weather. Shakespeare; The Animated Tales in on Eli's dodgy dealings. 3.30 Countdown. 4.15 Deal or No Grey 0990). Crime, starring Peter An ex r'n'to. hip hop &soul with 6.30 Regional News 12.00 The Daily Politics. 1230 7.30 Coronation Street Sean Deal. 5.00 Richard and Judy. Falk and William Shames 3,35 resident DJs Beep Boko. and rn Programmes. Working Lunch 1.00 What? and Sonny get a nasty 6.00 The Sinssons.. FILM: While My Pretty One Sleeps retratin R Mark Poppy Max is shocked post es, Luton 7.00 Junior Mastermind. Where? When.) Why? 1.15 surprise. Cilia is gutted 6.30 liollyoaks. (7997). Drama 5.30 five news. when 0I3 reminds hint that 6.00 Home and Away, the LI John Humphrys poses the Something Special. 1.30 Animal when she realises how Mixing Tin he asked Warren to put a Judgement day arrives for annual questions as young Park 2.15 Escape to the Country. muds she has hurt Chesney. HIP HOP MONDAY contestants brave the black 3.15 Perfect Strangers. Jason struggles juggling contract out on Clare. Clare Robbie, but the judge Hcm 3.45 Flog chair in the general It! 4.30 Ready Steady Cook. 5.15 work and his baby. tells Max to hand over The makes a surprising LLTLJ i Queens Court THE PINK POUND knowledge quit. Subjects Weakest Link 8.00 Thinternet: Tonight. Loft or she will tell social announcement, chart & dance music include Penguins and Bob 6.00 Safari School. Hona Foster reveals the services he is mistreating 6.30 Out of Practice. Marley. Geeks is all I say 8.30 Masterchef Goes Large. network of pro-anorexia Tnm. 7.00 five news. Wardrobe 7.00 Channel 4 News, 7.15 Megastructures, rock & inde 7.30 Trawlermen, 7.00 Grow Your Own Veg! websites that encourage 8,00 EastEnders. Dawn has Carol Klein proves how easy young girls to starve 7.55 3 Minute Wonder: Documentary series about gigs had enough of staying it is to grow your own themselves, and speaks to Mouthing Off - Tongue huge engineering projects. Fenton quiet about the baby. Bert's vegetables. I'm thinking of families struggling to cope Tied. The Autobahn, a super- CALIFORNIA LOVE life is turned upside down you Connell! with the illness 8.00 Dispatches: At Home charged super-highway with the Terror which is a r-toly Trinity Church by a surprise arrival on the 7.30 Magnus Magnusson: A 8.30 Coronation Street. Sean speed-freak?s OKK YUNG LEE Square. The pressure of Tribute. confronts Sonny about their Suspects. dream come true. Kevin's disappearance gets 8.00 University Challenge. past. Steve drowns his 9.00 Aged 12, and Looking 8.00 Monster Moves. Joservhs Well to Carly. This match is between sorrows about Michelle after the Family. Churches in Iowa and UNDER DARKENED SKIES 8.30 Panorama. Jeremy Vine Corpus Christi College Chesney digs In his heels as 10.00 ER- Luke is sued for Florida are lifted hum ifie11. New Roscoe goes on a whistle•stop tour Oxford and the University of Cilia tries to win him round. malpractice by a former foundations. CRYGIRLCRY of the country to see how Edinburgh. 9.00 Trial & Retribution. The patient while everyone is 9.00 Extraordinary People: people deal with anti-social 8.30 An Island Parish. race is on to catch suprised that it is the arsey Tourette's Rewired. This PackhceSe behaviour and violent Chronicle of life in the Leanne/Rath& before posh tosser that finally programme focuses on THE WHAT I WANTED bottles it. TO DO crime in their areas parish of 11w Isles of Scilly. another tragedy takes Tourette's sufferers who 9.00 Waking the Dead. Police Father Guy has a big task place. and the murder team 11.05 Egomania. An have chosen to undergo drama series based around ahead to convince his face an unexpected examination of the different deep brain stimulation *top tickets cold cases. Boyd and the family that he has made the emotional challenge. levels of Narcissistic (NS), a controversial lei: 08709 913913 team investigate events at right decision about the 10.30 ITV News Weather. Personality Disorder INPD). experimental treatment web: alive.co.ok/fickets a hippy commune in 1967 move to Scilly. 11.00 WAGs Boutique. It's from high achievers and 10.00 Prison Break. Belief( Double murderer Daniel 9.00 Nuclear Secrets. Drama. handbags at dawn, as two egomaniacal bosses right teams up with Michael, coming soon to Leeds Metropolitan UN.- Lennon is still on the loose. documentary series that team$ of footballers' wives through to cult leaders and Lincoln and Hike to find 10.00 BBC News; Regional captures key moments in and girlfriends compete to psychopaths. Westmoreland's money. 15th Feb: THE News; Weather. the nuclear race. One man run the best boutique in 12.05 Live horn Abbey Road. 1.10 Kellerman moves in on HOLLOWAYS' 10.35 The Royle Family. tried to expose the truth London. June Sarpong takes 4Play- Duke Special. 1.20 Hostage Sara. 26th Feb.: THE GOSSIP' 11,05 Film 2007 with about a nuclear bomb the girls to the London Tapes: Day of the Sniper. 11.00 Dark Secrets: 28thTE Feb.: LITTLE MAN 2.20 Turned TA Jonathan Ross. factory belonging to Israel. College of Fashion. Portrait of a Young Man Drowning. Out in Prison. 1st Mac: THE STONE 11.35 FILM. The Trench (1999). 10.00 Trust Me I'm a Healer, 12.30 ITV Play: The Mint. 3.50 Dial 2.30 The Insider The Muslim Documentary examining ROSES EXPERIENCE' Starring Paul Nicholls and 10.30 Newsnight. A Mum. 4.25 Dial A Mum. 5.00 Hangover Cure. 2.55 Dispatches power struggles, violence 51h Mar.: THE RAPTURE" Daniel Craig. 11.20 21st-Century Bach. ITV Nightscreen. 5.30 ITV Early At Home with the Terror Suspects. and rape in prison. 61h Mar,; FORWARD RUSSIA' 1.10 Sign Zone: Five Days. 2.10 11.35 The Sun. Morning News_ 3.45 Get the Picture. 4.00 Cuentos 12.00 Arrest and Trial. 12.30 81h Mar.: LCD Sign Zone: The Truth About Food. 12.35 loins BBC News 24. 2.00 Y Leyendas. 4.15 Cuentos Y Arrest and Trial. 1.00 SOUNDSYSTEM" 3.10 Sign Zone: Planet Food. BBC Learning Zone: Leyendas. 4.30 A Victorian Diary. USPGA Golf. 1.50 LP 18th Nice :10L EWILD• 3.35 Sign Zone: Expedition Languages and Travel: 4.45 The Blue Dragon, 5,00 Design Championnat - French Borneo. 4.05 loins BBC News 24. Suenos World Spanish. and Technology. 5.15 Say What You Football. 240 Now Is the Think. 5.30 All About Us. 5.45 Time: Night of Combat- Eureka I Roman Britain. Kick Boxing, 3.30 The X Games. 4.20 Winter X Games. 5,10 V8 Supercats BIRTHDAY PARTIES EVERY FRIDAY WI IN THE OLD BAR HAS IT BEEN YOUR A PRIZE WITH OU BIRTHDAY THIS WEEK Prove it to us and you can celebrate your birthday with your friends in The Old Bar. F PRIZE DNA On a Friday we will reserve you a table The PLUS DRINKS OFFERS & T with some BALLOONS & NIBBLES, give you and your guests FREE BUBBLY phis rOld OFFICIAL FRUITY WARM-U DISCOUNTED FRUITY ENTRY! £1.50 VODKA & COKE I £1.75 SAN MIGUEL I D.75 BOTTLE OF Bar csi. )93t1 EVERY FRIDAY FROM 8PM AT YOUR OLD 'EtVOURITE'

This week sees the family and the Gallaghers boyfriend. Ian is madcap Manchester continue to come to surprised at the Shameless family get up to more blows. Monica becomes admiration he recieves uesday 10:00p.m mischief and mayhem. jealous of Debbie's from Micky Maguire, but Karen and Jamie get it on relationship with her soon discovers he's in too ebruary Channel 4 but struggle to stay father and tries to deep. together as the Maguire convince her she needs a Jordan Barber

DON MI R -hat people can TWO itv ere during the ONE 4 five .t attacks more 6.00 Breakfast 9.15 Wanted 6.00 CBeebies: Fimbles. 6.20 The COO GM7V. 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle 6.00 The Cullen 6.10 The Hoobs 6.00 Tickle, Patch and Friends. t. Down Under. 10.00 Homes under Story Makers. 6.40 Balamory. 7.00 Show. 10.30 This Morning_ 12.30 6.35 The Hoobs. 7.00 Freshly 6.25 Old Bear Stories. 6.35 Bird club research which the KNOW. 11.00 To Buy or Not CBBC: Tom. 7.25 Newsround 7.30 Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime Squeezed. 7.30 Friends. 8.00 Bath. 6,45 Hi-5 7.20 Miss Spider's Baja Beach Club THE WARM analysed by to Buy. 11.45 Cal Booty 12.15 Even Stevens 7.50 Sethi-1k. 8.00 News, Weather. 2.00 60 Minute Everybody Loves Raymond. 8.30 Sunny Patch Friends. 7.35 The stude.ht night in way of the Bargain Hunt. 1.00 BBC News: Suspect. 8.30 CBeebies: Bob the Makeover 3.00 Daily Cooks_ 4.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.55 Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and neat Sciences. Regional News and Builder: Project Build It Weather 1.30 8.40 Morse' 20 Years Frasier. 9.30 The Deadly His Best Friend Corky. '7.45 Make Cockpit ire linked to Weather. 1.40 Neighbours. 2.05 Tweenies. 9.00 Doodle Do. 9.20 SLAM DUNK 6.00 Calendar. Knowledge Show 10.00 The Way for Noddy. 8.00 FM and the ies''. These Doctors 2.35 Diagnosis Murder. Ethelben the Tiger 9.30 Something punk. sko, metal, hard- 6.30 ITV Evening News; Hustters. 10.30 The Market. 11.00 Flowertots. 8.15 Peppa Pig. 8.25 core, rock lescrihed as 3/0 BBC News; Weather, Regional Special 9.45 Come Outside. 10.00 Weather. Thomas & Friends 8.35 Sailor Sid. Trouble Online. 11.30 Tricky events which News. 3.25 CBBC: ChuckleVision Boogie Beebies. 10.15 Toeldworld 7.00 Emmerdale. Rodney Business Two 12.00 News at 8.40 Roobarb and Custard Too, Fab Café -ail resonance". 3.40 What's New Scooby-Don? 10.30 Primary History 10.50 resigns himself to being Noon, 12,30 Ed 1.20 Science 8.50 Mio Mao. 9.00 The Wright EAR CANDY ce• of the event 4.00 Raven. 4.30 SMart 5.00 Landmarks. 11.10 Star Trek: The penniless. Jamie is cracking Scams. 1.30 FILM: Three Came Stuff. 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 rock and roll madness Blue Peter. 5.25 Newsround. 5.35 Next Generation. 12.00 The Daily under the pressure. Debbie Home 119501. War, starring Five news. 12.00 Home and Away 1 as where the Faversham at they were Neighbours. Politics. 12.30 Working Lunch tries to prove herself to Eli. Claudette Colbert and Patric 12.30 Brainteaser. 1.40 FILM: CARNAVAL 6.00 BBC News and Weather. 1.00 Science Clips. 1.10 Science Jo and Andy move in with Knowles. 3.30 Countdown. 4.15 Bordertown Cafe (1991). Comedy. samba, salsa music. with the list of 6.30 Look North; Weather, Clips_ 1.20 Thinking Skills. 1.30 Paddy. Deal or No Deal. 5.00 Richard and starring Susan Hogan and Janet Silvan & Fablo Bahia was the death is interesting 7.00 Watchdog. Animal Park. 2.15 Escape to the 7.30 My Yorkshire. Ian Clayton Judy. Wright. 3.40 FILM: Vinegar Hill Flares 7.30 EastEnders. Dawn and Country. 3.15 Perfect Strangers. meets Leeds writer James 6.00 The Simpsons. (2004). Drama, staining Betty THE HUSTLE v Wallace a Rob continue their affair. 3.45 Hog It! 4.30 Ready Steady Nash who takes him to a 6.30 Hollyoaks. Sonny is Buckley and Mary-Louise Packer. udcnt "But it is Bert's attempt to get rid of Cook. 5.15 Weakest link. beautiful part of North concerned by Warren's 5.30 five news. hilFi Club course most Jay doesn't go according to 6.00 Safari School. Riding, and speaks to incriminating CCTV footage 6.00 Home and Away. Robbie RAISED BY WOLVES r where they Mink funk, disco, incie, plan. Carly's behaviour 6.30 Masterchef Goes Large. humanist Lynn Alderson of him. John Paul does and Tasha decide to leave elecho cople in our prompts Deano to spend 7.00 The Madness of Modern who discusses the something that changes the Bay. Cassie gives Ric certainly the time with his mother. Families. community in Hebderi everything between him food for thought. Mook f clime 8.00 Holby City. Sam's 7.30 Outtake TV. Bridge. and Craig. Recta begins to 6.30 Out of Practice. MOLOTOV COCKTAIL find a purpose in prison. 7.00 five news. incite, rock, funk & reputation is under fire 8.00 Dr Alice Roberts: Don't 8.00 Fortune: Million Pound dance following Chrissie's shock Die Young. Health Giveaway. Members of 7.00 Channel 4 News. 7.15 Hidden Treasure nts departure. Faye settles in. documentary series with the public ask five 7 55 3 Minute Wonder. Houses. lames Miller University. Mine but is she too good to be anatomist Dr Alice Roberts. millionaires for a share of Mouthing Off - Scoring. explores the history and THE TUNNEL CLUB their money. One million 8.00 You Are What You Eat: architectural treasures of Chit Martin with indie, true? Chloe is brought in She checks out the pros and artrock.. electro & guitar aness after consuming 734 Cream cons of laser eye surgery pounds is up for grabs if Gillian Moves In. This Britain's stately homes. sounds plus live bands Eggs in 27 minutes. and gets a first-hand their arguments are week. a Scottish single 8.00 Frankenstein: The True 9.00 New Tricks. Drama series account of living with vision convincing enough. mother and a portly rector. Story. Is Mary Shelley's gigs Frankenstein more than just City varieties featuring a team of ex- impairment_ 9.00 You Don't Know You're 9.00 Strictly Baby Ballroom. •xual and Trans Born. Rebus star Ken Stott An examination of the fiction? This programme CHINA CRISIS" policemen who investigate 8.30 Bill Oddie Back in the for tickets ring- holding an USA. explores his family history. world of juvenile ballroom sheds light on bizarre unsolved crimes. The team 08709 913913 which w ill run look at a case in which a 9.00 Wild Caribbean. The wild He travels to his father's dancing, following the child sdentific experiments ar Coffee Hour suburban housewife was shore of Central America is home town in Scotland, and couples and their parents in intended to unlock the Cockpit CLASS HEROES killed in a car crash. the Caribbean's more makes an emotional the run-up to the British secret of Ilfe. GYM the Are of the Juvenile Ballroom 9.00 C51: Crime Scene en 12 and 2_ 10.00 BBC News; Regional mysterious side. This a discovery about his Josephs Well News; Weather. journey from the rainforests mother's father in Sicily Championships in Investigation. In an PHONIC RAPTURE trive on issues 10.35 The Innocence Project. of Panama to the worlds 10.00 Revenge TV. Dominic Blackpool. episode told from the mmunity, and perspective of the victims, Drama series in which second-largest coral system. Uttlewood investigates how 10.00 Shameless. UniverAt. StAs provided on a 11.05 Pyromania. Documentary Brass and Catherine handle COURTNEY PlNE" young law students 9.50 Monkey Business. Vervet the bosses of a Hampshire • sexual health, the case of a San Francisco for tickets ring: investigate possible monkeys in Durban, South company uncovered a scam examining the many forms 08709 913913 cop who was moonlighting IT history. miscarriages of justice. The Africa. have chosen a life of being operated by some of of pyromania, from a childlike fascination, to as a bodyguard. LGBT society team struggle to prove that crime.And nothing is their employees. Plus, a 10.00 CSI: Miami. Horatio and tries and some a murder case was actually beyond their reach, clever canine at Battersea sensual obsession, though *top tickets to the psychosis of serial the team face off with tel: 08709 913913 i all the free a suicide. 10.00 The Children of Helen Dogs' Home. arsonists. Miami's deadly Male Noche web: allve.co.uk/tickets 11.35 FILM: Steal (2002). Action House. Tina Bough's 10.30 ITV News; Weather. ly provided on Friday Night Project. 1.10 gang after a funeral thriller in which a group of daughter, who has the same 11.00 The BRITs Are Coming. 12.10 coming soon to Leeds My Name Is Earl. 1.40 The War at becomes the scene of a University_ imaginative bank robbers condition which killed her 11.30 ITV at the Movies. The he week will Home. 2.05 Best of the Worst. murder. pull off a series of brother, begins to stars and director discuss 6th Mar.: JET • the 7th of 2.30 Humdrum. 2.35 Bob and 11.00 True CSI. On the 6th of impressive heists using deteriorate. making the Oscar hyped 8th Mar.- INSPIRAL Margaret. 3.00 Bob and Margaret. June 19% the Texas district of the LGBT skates, snowboards and 10.30 Newsnight. Dreamgirle Cate Blartchett CARPETS' 3.25 The Jamie Kennedy of Howlett was shaken by 4th Mar.: DEFTONES he night is run extreme sport skills to 11.20 International One-Day is an art teacher with designs on a pupil in Notes Experiment. 3.50 FILM: Friday the gruesome murder of 21st Mar.: 111 CHK CHK last one was a escape from the police, Cricket. I will tell you now. a Scandal. Plus Arthur Night In 4.00 Cuentos Y Leyendas. two young boys. CHIC me. with a new starling Stephen Dorti and England lost. On 29th Mar.: BARENAKED 4,15 Cuentos Y Leyendas. 4.30 A 12.00 The FBI Files. 1.00 NBA he even better. Natasha Henstridge. 12.00 A Seaside Parish. 12.30 and the Invisibles, LADIES" ITV Play The Mint, 4.10 Victorian Diary. 4.45 Design and Action 1.75 NBA Basketball. 3.55 12.55 Sign Zone: See Hear. 1.40 loins BBC News 24. 2.00 12.00 look, on lower The Jules and Lulu Technology. 5.00 Design and Al Grand Prix. 4.45 Race and Rally Sign Zone: Nye Days. 2.40 Sign Revisewise at School: Maths Redcoats, 4.35 /iolator Disco) ITV Nightscreen. 5.30 Technology. 5.15 Say What You I1K. 5.05 World Supercross Grand Zone: Ray Mears' Wild Food. 3.40 1.4.00 Revisewise at Show_ 5.00 ITV Early Morning News. Think. 5.30 All About Us. 5.45 Prix Championship. Sign Zone: Expedition Borneo School: Maths 2. Eureka! Roman Britain. bon) 149:1 4.10 Joins BBC News 24. i, bad ftee Thin ucu Leeds Student College Limon k that lust class Do you have an idea for an iubsiclisecl with litioits. Want to get involved in producing a 'help kit' for article you'd like to see in print? term or hourly- is part of the Britain's biggest student newspaper? ire better terms Think you could entertain LS2's OAK' plus staff crazy contracts. in which came readers? means that some Lecturers plan strike lacisrkzcittrer s now have the .711 However. the repeated use of academic staff Tsities with too t, e It [email protected] sing to provide research on the to download a Email: editorgleedsstudent.org.uk k/ftpack

4 Leeds Student www.leedsstudent.org.uk Friday, Februrary 2, 2007 Ne

Bang: Carolyn Bigsby dis- Kayla and their hugely and Gabrielle finally set- covers her husband's enjoyable hostility is ulti- tle their divorce and help Desperate Wednesda affair with Monique at the mately and abruptly each other divide their Housewives hands of the usually ended by the vengeful assets in their own explo- Februar placid Bree. Lynette and Carolyn. Susan's plans to sive way. 10:00p.m Nora have a heated go to Paris with Ian are Channel 4 debate over custody of short-lived while Carlos Penny Walker

000 ONE TWO itv 11 4 five 6.00 Breakfast. 9.15 Wanted 6.00 CBeebies: Fimbles 6.20 The 6.00 GMTV. 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle 6.00 The Cubeez. 6.10 The Hoots. 6.00 Tickle, Patch and Friends. cub Down Under. 10.00 Homes under Story Makers. 6.40 Balamory. 7.00 Show. 10.30 This Morning. 12.30 6.35 The Hoobs. 7.00 Freshly 625 Old Bear Stories. 6.35 Bird Baja Beach Club the Hammer 11.00 To Buy or Not CBBC: Torn. 7.25 Newsround. 7.30 Loose Women. 1.30 ITV Lunchtime Squeezed. 7.30 Friends. 8.00 Bath. 6.45 Hi-S, 7.20 Miss Spider's STUDENT REVOLUTION student night to Buy. 11.45 Car Booty. 12.15 Even Stevens, 7.50 Batfmk. 8.00 News; Weather. 2.00 60 Minute Everybody Loves Raymond. 8.30 Sunny Patch Friends. 7.3S The Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News; Suspect. 8.30 CBeebies: Bob the Makeover. 3.00 Daily Cooks. 4.00 Everybody Loves Raymond. 8.55 Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and Creation Weather. 1.30 Regional News and Builder: Project Build It. 8.40 Miclsomer Murders. Frasier. 9.30 The Deadly His Best Friend Corky. 7.45 Make MILKSHAKE Weather, 1.40 Neighbours. 2.05 Tweenies. 9.00 Doodle Do. 9.20 6.00 Calendar. Knowledge Show. 10.00 The Way for Noddy. 8.00 Fifi and the student night Doctors. 2.35 Diagnosis Murder. Ethelbert the Tiger. 9.30 Something 6.30 ITV Evening News; Hustlers. 10.30 The Market. 11.00 Flowertols. 8.15 Peppa Pig. 8.25 Fob Cafe 3.20 BBC News; Weather; Regional Special. 9.45 Come Outside. 10.00 Weather. Trouble Online. 11.30 Tricky Thomas & Friends. 8.35 Sailor Ski GO YOU BIG RED FIRE News. 3.25 CBBC: ChuckleVision. Boogie Beebies. 10.15 Toddworld. 7.00 Emmerdale. Eli and Business Two. 12.00 News at 8.40 Roobarb and Custard Toe. ENGINE 3.40 What's New Scooby-Doo? 10.30 Star Trek: The Next Debbie successfully replay Noon. 12.30 Ed. 1.25 Science 8.50 Mio Mao. 9.00 The Wright psychedelic rock to hip 4.00 Raven. 4.30 Best of Friends Generation, 11.15 The Flying their scam. Jasmine sees Scams 1.35 FILM: banger Within Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard. 11.30 hop 5.00 Blue Peter. 5.25 Newsround. Gardener. 11.30 The Daily Politics. some photos which prove (19601 War, starring Richard Todd live news, 12.00 Home and Away. Foyer shaili 5.35 Neighbours. 1.00 Uncharted Territory. 1.30 that Jamie lied. Turner has and Bernard Lee. 330 Countdown. 12.30 BrainTeaser 1.40 FILM: NME TOUR AFTERSHOW 6.00 BBC News and Weather. Working Lunch. 2.00 Small Town an idea to bring the village 4.15 Deal or No Deal 5.00 Richard Hard to Forget Thriller, starring An exi PARTY 6.30 Look North; Weather. Gardens. 2.15 Escape to the together. and Judy. Polly Shannon and Michael and m with CSS & Crystal 7.00 Holiday 2007. Travel Country. 3.15 Perfect Strangers. 7.30 Coronation Street Steve 6.00 The Simpsons. McManus 3.40 FILM: Hound of Castles post ex show with Laurence 3.45 Flog III 4.30 Ready Steady gets closer to Tracy - but is 6.30 Hollyoaks. Hannah and the Baskervilles (2000) Crime, the U Fucige Llewelyn-Bowen. Sumit Cook. 5.15 Weakest Link. it all for Michelle's benefit? Sarah are feeling the starring Jason London and Kenneth annual SYNTHIA Bose takes his son to 6.00 Safari School. A stubborn Jason refuses to repercussions of Craig and Welsh. 5.30 five news. electro disco, dance Toulouse for an 6.30 Masterdief Goes Large. ask tar help at work. John Paul's kiss. Michaels 6.00 Home and Away. Drew Hea aeronautical-themed 7.00 Top Gear. Joanne and Liam carry on clashes with Sarah and gets into a fight with LUU it HiFi Club MOVEONUP weekend, and the Barnett 8.00 Dragons' Den. Series in flirting. refuses to believe her Rocco Arnanda wonders if soul funk & 60', ueor family take a road trip from which budding 8.00 The Bill. After another brother is gay. she should tell Belle the Melbourne to Sydney. entrepreneurs pitch business grilling by Jack and Phil, 7.00 Channel 4 News. truth. Matilda is flustered MIo' 7.30 Match of the Day Live. ideas to five multi. lain is handed over to the 7.55 3 Minute Wonder: by Ric 's declaration that he BIG BAD WOLF Pitches include Murder Investigation Team Mouthing Off - Farewell has feelings for her. 450's & 70's rock night Gary Lineker presents five coverage of England's walk-in stress relief shops Under interrogation he Packets of Ten. 6.30 Out of Practice. Mcok Friendly against Spain at and a lemon-slicing device changes his story. Then 8.00 Relocation, Relocation. 7.00 five news. MIND THE GAP Old Trafford. The teams last for pubs. Kristen pulls a gun on him, Kirsne Allsopp and Phil 7.15 Great Ocean electra house. punk met in 2004, when England 9.00 Party Animals. Ashika 9.00 FILM: Something's Gotta Spencer help members of Adventures: The Thresher Shark. The Subculture lost 1.0 in Madrid visits Scott at the flat to Give (2003). Romantic the public relocate. P1 and Monty PIRATE DISCO 10.00 BBC News; Regional cheer him up after lake's comedy in which an ageing Hereward Cleghord-Brown heads for the island of Suprernee to Sunshine News; Weather. death and he invites her to executive is left in the care are looking for a country Malapascua in the Disco 10.35 The National Lottery the New Statesman party. of his younger girlfriend's pile in Leicestershire and Philippines, where he hopes gigs Draws. 10.00 Never Mind the mother after suffering a Lincolnshire_ to find the elusive thresher Alnurn 10.40 FILM- A Time to Kill Buzzcodcs. Comedy pop heart attack, offering the 9.00 Jamie's Chef. Series in shark. THE VANGO5 (1996). Legal thriller set in quiz with host Simon chance for true love to which Jamie Oliver helps a 8.00 So You Think You Can America's Deep South in Amstell and team captains blossom, starring Jack trainee chef from a Nurse? Janet Street.Poner Cockpit which a young lawyer has Bill Bailey and Phill Jupitus. Milldam) and Diane ?Senior' disadvantaged background is less than excited by life THE NOISETTES to defend a black factory The guests are Noel 10.30 IN News; Weather. The learn how to set up rhea on the maternity ward, Gail Faversham worker accused of Fielding, Donny Tourette, latest national and own restaurant. Porter works on the CRYSTAL CASTLES murdering two racist thugs Philip Olivier and Alfie international news, plus 10.00 Desperate Housewives. Medical Emergency Unit. who raped his daughter, Jackson. national weather. Including Carolyn Bigsby holds and Sean Hughes helps out Met University starring %Mow fuicConaughay 10.30 Newsnight. Jeremy local news programmes shoppers to ransom at the on the children's ward. THE KLAXONS and Sandra Bullock. Paxman introduces 11.00 FILM: Something's Gotta local supermarket. Gabrielle 9.00 What's Eating Victoria Packhorse 1.10 Sign Zone: The Meaning of comprehensive coverage of Give (2003). Conclusion of and Carlos finish dividing Beckham? Documentary RECORD DEPARTMENT Life. 1.40 Sign Zone: Wild today's important national tonight's romantic comedy, their assets. Susan prepares charting the change in Caribbean. 2.30 Sign Zone: and international news srarring Jack Menolsod and to go to Pans with tan. Victoria Beckham's body *top tickets Mission Africa. 3.00 Sign Zone: stories Diane Keaton 11.05 Erotomania. Documentary shape. Includes reit 08709 9139 ri Expedition Borneo. 3.30 Joins BBC 11.20 The Battle for British 12.00 Harry Hill's TV Burp.12.25 examining the extraordinary contributions from friends, web alive.co.uk/tickets_ News 24. Art. Andrew Graham-Dixon ITV Play: The Mint. 4.05 The condition whereby former colleagues and tells the story of British Jeremy Kyle Show 5.00 ITV obsessive and delusional those who have helped NECROPHAGIS• artists' journeys from rags to Nightscreen. 5.30 ITV Early love can drive people to shape her body over the Leeds Josephs Well: 3rd riches over the course of the Morning News. disturbing and sometimes years. Mar, 18th century. lethal extremes. 10.00 FILM: Repiicant (2001). THE FALL' 12.20 Joins BBC News 24 2.00 12.05 Gumball 3000 12.40 scarring Jean-Claude Van Leeds Irisl Centre 21st BBC Learning Zone: Schools: Gumball 3000 1.10 Goalissimol Munroe and Micttaal Rooloar. Mar. Revisewise Challenge at School: 2.10 Freespons on 4. 2.35 Trans 12.00 PartyPoker.com European Maths. 4.00 Expressive Arts: The World Sport. 3.25 Girl Racers. 4.25 Open III. 130 NHL Ice Hockey. Art. Thunder Races. 5.25 Countdown 4.05 Boxing: Fight of the Week. 5.10 Rolex Grand Am.

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Satirical comedy that panellists Hugh Dennis biggest grievances, such combines elements of a and Frankie Boyle.These as the existence of Jade Mock of the Week panel show with stand-up quick-witted folk are test- Goody. For fans of shows comedy, improvised hursday ed about the week's such as Never Mind the 10:00p.rn games and role play. events and generally Buzzcocks and Ql. ebruary Hosted by Dara O'Briain, prat-about whilst satiris- BBC2 oulb' the show features regular ing all of our society's Penny Walker ries ODD 00 itv that people can ONE TWO 11 4 five ,ere during the 6.00 Breakfast. 9.15 Wanted 6.00 CBeebies: Fimbles. 6.20 The 6.00 GMTV. 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle 6.10 The Hoobs. 6.35 The Hoobs. 6.00 Tickle. Patch and friends. st attacks more Down tinder. 10.00 Homes under Story Makers 6.40 Balamory 7.00 Show. 10.30 This Morning. 12.30 7.00 Freshly Squeezed. 7.30 6.25 Old Bear Stories 6.33 Bird club it. the Hammer 11.00 To Buy or Not CBBC: Tom. 7.25 Newsround. 7.30 Loose Women. 1.30 ITV Lunchtime Friends 8.00 Everybody Loves Bath. 6.45 Hi-5. 710 Miss Spider's Cockpit research which to Buy. 11.45 Car Booty. 12.15 Even Stevens. 7.50 Batfink 8.00 News; Weather 2.00 60 Minute Raymond. Sunny Patch Friends, 7.35 The GENERATOR d analysed by 8.30 Everybody Loves rock & dance fuse Bargain Hunt. 1.00 BBC News: Suspect. 830 CBeebies: Bob the Makeover. 3.00 Daily Cooks 4.00 Raymond. 8.55 Frasier. 9.30 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and onway of the Weather. 1.30 Regional News and Builder: Project Build It 8.40 Mirisomer Murders Deadly Knowledge Show. 10,00 His Best Friend Corky. 7.4S Make fibre gical Sciences, 6.00 Calendar. Weather. 1.40 Neighbours. 2.05 Tweenies. 9.00 Doodle Do. 9.20 The Hustlers. 1030 The Market Way for Noddy. B.00 Fifi and the funky house & retro are linked to 6.30 ITV Evening News; tunes with Mani a & Tom Doctors. 2.35 Diagnosis Murder. Ethelbert the Tiger 9.30 Something 11.00 Trouble Online 11.30 My Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig. 8.25 ics". These Special. 9.45 Come Outside. Weather. RFerguson es [Galaxy FM) 3,20 BBC News; Weather. Regional 10.00 Crazy Life 12.00 News at Noon. Thomas & Friends. &3S Sailor Sid escribed as Bougie Beebies 10.15 Toddwortd. 7.00 Emmerdale. Jasmine tries News. 3.25 [BBC ChuckleVision. 12.30 Ed. 1.25 Science Scams. 8.40 Roobarb and Custard Too. .c events which 3.40 What's New Scooby Dou? 10.30 Look and Read: Spywatch. to extract a confession from 9.00 The Wright 1.35 FILM-Angels One Five (195.4). 8.50 Mio Mao. COPACABANA nal. resonance", 4.00 Raven. 4.30 SMart. 5.00 10.50 Words and Pictures. 11.00 lamie. Vie and Marlon War, starting Jack Hawkins and Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard. 11.30 ace of the event Blue Peter 5.25 Newsround. 5.35 English Express. 11.20 English reluctantly spend a day Michael Denison. 3.30 Countdown. five news. 12.00 Home and Away. HiFi Club hHiApron BUSH CLUB 11 as where the Neighbours. Express. 11.40 Primary Geography. together. Debbie uses the 4.15 Deal or No Deal 5.00 12.30 BrainTeaser. 1.30 FILM: The live jaa... funk, soul & hat they were 6.00 BBC News and Weather. 1150 Focus 12.00 The Daily profits from the casino Richard and Judy. Secret War of Jackie's Girls (1980). 6.30 Look North; Weather. Politics. 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 scam to buy a taxi. 6.00 The Simpson. Adventure, starring Marlette the list of 7.00 Street Doctor. GPs Uncharted Territory. 1.30 Animal 7.30 The Way We Were. 6.30 Hollyoaks. John Paul is Hartley and Lee Purcell. 3.35 FILM Queens Court was the death Nostalgic series using THE PINK POUND It is interesting venture out of their Park. 2.15 Escape to the Country. reluctant to tell Myra OSS (1946). War, starring Alan Ladd chart & dance music surgeries and on to the 3.15 Perfect Strangers. 3.45 Flog archive film and real-life everything, but he can't and Geraldine FitzgeraicL 5.30 five y Wallace a streets of Britain. Amongst It! 4.30 Ready Steady Cook. 5.15 experiences to illustrate hide the truth from her news Spans Café rodent "But it is the patients In Birmingham Weakest Link . how life has changed over Calvin helps Sonny 6.00 Home and Away. Belie is SOUL NIGHT course most 6.00 Safari School. the past 100 years. celebrate his 18th birthday horrified when Amanda 60's r'n't‘. northern soul, er where they are 78-year-old ballet reggac- & sko dancer Mane, with 6.30 Masterchef Goes Large. 8.00 The Bill. Roger and Dan in style confesses that she was ,eople in our suspected osteoporosis. 7.00 Bill Oddie Back in the are called out to an incident 7.00 Channel 4 News. Drew's 'other woman'. The Subculture certainly the 7.30 EastEnders, May reveals USA. Bill Oddie continues - a student at a local school 7.55 3 Minute Wonder: Jack's quest for the truth GIGANTIC ifetime." how far she is willing to go his wildlife tour of North has been stabbed. Gina and Mouthing Off - leads him into danger elecho, rock Smithy search for Jimmy Contagious. 6.30 Out of Practice. to get hold of Dawn's baby. America with a visit to Universifigulse & Mine Mickey is suspicious of Vancouver Island, where he Collins, an inmate who 8.00 10 Years Younger. Reality 7.00 five news. MEM:* IS VALVE )Sts Darren and Libby's gets a spectacular view of a hasn't returned to his open makeover show Nicky 7.15 Animal Attraction: SOUNDSYSMM behaviour. Ben tries to keep family of killer whales. prison. Hambleton Jones meets Di Macho Males. Nature 15 years of RAM records Phil away from Stella. 7.30 Dr Alice Roberts: Don't 9.00 Bonkers, Comedy drama Simon Dehany whose face documentary narrated by with Andy C. Subfocus, eness series with Liza Tarbuck and Lemon D. Bryan 8.00 Waterloo Road. Jack and Die Young. Health has been ravaged by years Vicki Butler-Henderson G&J1 Frost Roger come to blows over documentary series with Mark Addy. Helen's brother of smoking and binge How males have became the future of the school anatomist Dr Alice Roberts. John bums down his house. drinking. virile, driven creatures that wire her husband Tony gets use brute force to fight off LOGIC Brett learns some home She checks out the pros and 9.00 Child Genius. Furor 'mil and Trans stitched up by Nicole, and Documentary series rivals and ensure their guitars & great nor with truths about his father. cons of laser eye surgery holding an Felix is desperate to escape. following the lives of eight genes are passed on. DJ Detastor 9.00 Crimewatch. Nick Ross and gets a first-hand hich will run account of living with vision 10.00 Benidorm. Comedy series gifted children growing up 8.00 Pushy Parents. Does and Fiona Bruce ask for gigs ar Coffee Hour help in solving crimes. The impairment. set in Benidorm starring in Bntain, charting their Mum really know best? Or HiFi Club Johnny Vegas. Kate and is she inadvertently SOUL VACCINATION i the Arc of the hunt Is on for 'The Bottler', 8.00 Did They Pay Off Their experience at home and Martin get lost and end up damaging her offspring .eri 12 and 2. a psycho who attacks her Mortgage in Two Years? school as they develop over in a bar watching a bizarre through unrealistic targets' New Roscoe victims in clubs and robbers Update on the series in the yeam.While Suzy is a COMPLETELY FREE ve on issues magic act. All the regulars mastermind at everything 9.00 Build a New Life in the who turned their guns on which Rene Carayol helped (tribute) =twiny. and are concerned about Telle Country. Relocation series the police_ people become mortgage- she does she cannot resist provided on a News; Weather. George Clarke meets a man Fockhoe 10.00 BBC News; Regional free within two years. 10.30 IN the temptation of glittery s sexual health. Soccer Night. Andy jeans. who is taking on a huge HURRAH SAY THE ROSES News; Weather. Carayol brings his expertise 11.00 3T history. Townsend. Peter Beagrie 10.30 FILM: The Enforcer restoration and conversion, 10.35 Question Time. The panel and contacts to bear for the Selo and special guests discuss (1976). Police thriller with his design-loving wife LGBT society includes Environment Casey-Poole family. FOCUS FOUR QUARTET the region's football, sequel in which maverick project-managing. rites and some Secretary David Miliband 9.00 The Truth About Food. preview the weekend's cop Dirty Harry Callahan 10,00 Criminal Minds. The h all the free and the broadcaster Rosie Series examining how what *top tickets fixtures and look at the tackles an underground team joins forces with the ly provided on Millard. we eat can change our lives. tel: 08709 913913 progress of local clubs. terrorist group and tries to CIA to root out a mole web: alive.co.uk/fickefs 11.35 Crimewatch UK Update. bra Tarbuck discovers how 11.30 Last Orders. Pub regulars deal with the numerous working inside the latter 11.45 This Week, the mere colour of some the week will discuss the latest events on problems he has with his organisation. KEANE' 12.35 Sign Zone: foods can tight the ageing e the 7th of Panorama. the political landscape. new partner, aremaa Cent 11.00 CSC Crime Scene Newcastle Metro Rack, 1.05 Sign Zone: process. Arena: 6th Mar. 'n of the LOUT When 12.00 ITV Play. Make Your Play. Easnecoo and lyre Oaly Investigation. A feverish Love Comes to Town 1.35 10.00 Mock the Week. e night is run 4.10 Make Me Perfect 5.00 ITV 12.15 FILM: Black Widow (1986). night in Las Vegas results in THE RAKES' Sign Zone: 10.30 Newsnight. Super Vets. 5.30 ITV Early Thriller, starring Debra Winger and multiple homicides, Manchester Ritz, 25th last one was a 11.20 Alchemists of Sound. Nightscreen 2.05 Sign Zone: The Theresa Russell. 2.10 A Swinging including one dead man Mar. me, with a new News 24 2.00 Morning News. Children of Helen House. 12.20 Joins BBC Murder 3.10 Perfect. 3.20 Aged with a polaroid of yet be even better. BBC Learning Zone: 2.35 Sign Zone: 12. and Looking after the Family. another dead body. look, on lower Schools: Expressive Arts: Expedition Borneo. 3.05 4.20 Help Me Help My Child. 5.20 12.00 John Barnes' Football Night iolator Disco) Joins BBC News 24. The Art 4.00 Expressive Countdown. 1.00 Quiz Call 4.00 Dutch •rs, Arts. Football 5.35 Motorsport Mundial

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to download a kiftpack 4 Leeds Student www.leedsstudent.org.uk Friday, Februrary 2, 2007 Nev OBSERVATIONS %Eva

Alexis Keeley Majed Chaaraoui Eleanor Priestman

think I've succumbed to very town centre has wo words: 'Midsomer bare-faced hypocrisy. When them, they are Lacoste Murders'. Love it or loath Iasked to write about some- Eand Burberry's biggest Tit, the popular ITV detec- thing that gets on my 'moobs' (if customers, they are tive drama is now back for its you don't understand this word, chays/scalls/rude boys as they tenth series, proving that if this article is not for you), I are known through the country. Barnaby really is the crème of almost refused. Sure, things They've even started back the British police constabulary, annoy me. but I'm British; I'm packing, and not just across we frankly should start picking tolerant - not predisposed to homicidal tendencies Europe, oh no, they've even spread to Australia, out our coffins now. However I would like to dissolve An ex( provoked by the actions of others.Well... Thailand, even South Americal a few commonly held misconceptions regarding the and ins If you had asked Jade before the Celebrity Big What is abroad considered a 'top quality brand' nation's favourite Whodunit? Firstly, these murders post ex Brother whether she was a bully, doubt wouldn't have (Lacoste) in many European countries, is now consid- do not take place in just one village - that would be just silly. In actual fact Midsomer is a large rural area, the Ui entered her mind when she responded: 'Nah, I'm part ered in Britain to be unwearable by most and a major annual ov a aunty bullyin fingy, innit?' Yet, to exercise an no for fashion. But this isn't because the brand has containing lots of astonishingly picturesque villages, Ilea over-used cliche, actions speak louder than words. lost its quality, or lowered its prices, it's simply that it marred only by the indefinite number of potential serial killers who frequently take it upon themselves LUL1 Similarly, when I began to ponder the people, has become the 'it' chav gear essential. It is almost objects, values, etc., I wanted to put into the Big certain that any male (or female) between the age of to cull the local population. Brother's Room 101 abyss, my deliberately-relaxed 8-40 wearing a Lacoste tracksuit can be considered a Secondly, Barnaby is not an idiot. So, he stumbles demeanour fell apart like the career of a pig-ugly F- chav, they usually identify themselves more openly about the barely cold crime scenes with as much class celebrity. with another 'chav gear' essential, known as the grace and decorum as a rubber chicken. And yes, While I walk you along my path of annoyance, I Burberry cap. Now many of you will be thinking, sometimes he forgoes the normal forensic attire in need you to think about a meal that you have eaten 'isn't Burberry expensive?' It is. They are usually favour of his Marks and Spencer suit and tie - basi- recently. Was it GM-free? Not sure? OK, was it organ- fake, or robbed from an innocent bystander's head. cally, the rubber glove is to Barnaby as the desert is ic?You probably have a better idea about that.Was it In town centres, or shopping centres such as The to an Eskimo, far away, mysterious and certainly not fair-trade? How about environmentally friendly? Of Light (Leecls),Trafford Centre (Manchester) or even something you would want to put your hand in. course it was. And next week it'll be free from cloned the new Met Quarter (Liverpool), they swarm in However the guy has got a fabulous work-life bal- animals' meat, too. groups, hand down the front of their tracksuit bot- ance. You can't fault the dedication he has shown to What's the latest must-have car in Hollywood at the toms, socks over the bottoms, and a chain or three his family. A weaker man would have turned around moment? You might be forgiven for guessing a par- around their necks (all gold. don't ask how.. even I many a year ago and slapped a pair of handcuffs (or ticular model of Ferrari, a Lamborghine or even a don't knowl) Usually this group of chays are of age 8- at the very least a wet kipper) on his wife, who has gas-guzzling 4x4 with tinted windows to hide from 16, and their simple aim is to walk around annoying an irritating habit of being somehow embroiled in the paparazzi. How passé, darling! Eco-friendly cars people whilst they shop, or to simply see who can do every crime, who joins village groups at the drop of a are 'in' this season - get seen driving in one of them the most damage/insult the most people before they hat, but eschews them as soon as they become taint- and think how much bigger your fan-base could are thrown out. ed by something so unseemly as murder, and then become! Add 10 per cent to your next contract and Once a chav is 17. then he/she begins to drive, whines: "Ibm, you promised. you would cook the din- laugh at those idiots in their Porsche Cayennes (What which inevitably leads to them owning one of the fol- ner tonight' when the poor man is elbow deep in are they thinking? They are, like, so bad for the trees lowing, a Vauxhall Corsa, a Ford Focus or a Ford blood and intrigue. and stuff). Fiesta (and a few other small hatchbacks). Then they With such deadly dealings going on, it's a wonder And the pop-driven 'culture' of Britain is closing in take to the streets to terrorise old (or learning) dri- anyone survives an episode of Midsomer. However, for the pass on the inside: a whole host of Guardian- vers, they'll usually have a sound system that is twice Barnaby, Joyce and Cully have been fighting the reading, hippie sheep whose consumerism is driven as big as the car, so that the whole car shakes uncon- odds for the past ten years, and considering the by the faux sense of guilt-free shopping when the trollably whilst he/she is driving, just to give them number of criminals he's put away in that time, it's packet reads 'eco-friendly' or 'carbon neutral'. The that 'hard' look. Car accidents result in the innocent amazing that the little guy keeps coming back for government is kindly fuelling this, too. Remember driver (not the chav) being abused verbally/physi- more. So what's their secret? It is not difficult to see that G8 summit in 2005 at Gleneagles? Well, how cally, and the chav claiming 'cameo' for his injured that Midsomer bears a striking resemblance to Iraq, refreshing to know it was carbon neutral: by 2029, neck. and is therefore not a destination for the faintheart- we'll have erased their carbon footprint from our Do chays disappear after turning 18? The answer ed. or families with small children. consciouses and Mother Nature's bosom. Phew! But if is no. Some of them do actually get off the dole and However those who survive all seem to follow this all is to be believed, we'll all be swimming in azure find an honest job, however that one good deed is basic rule of thumb. For a start they all avoid the local lakes of melted icebergs over what used to be King's destroyed by them going off on wild drunken week- pub, school, post office, local shop, village fete (espe- Lynn by that time. Well, I suppose it's better than end binges that must include them starting a fight or cially if you are a judge), large community gather- nothing (!) ten, and being sick in the street. ings (including the church), small community gather- As you can probably tell, I have reached that stage 'Cultured' chays that actually make their way out ings (honestly, these murderers will go anywhere for of red-eyed frenzy when foam begins to creep out of of the country to travel and see the world (apart from a of bit free cake), district cricket tournaments, the corners of my snarling mouth and I am running the football hooligans), have become known as the Sunday League Football, next door's house, your out of words. So, mug of herbal tea in hand, I have 'chaveller', with their great conversationist skills, spouse/mistress/vengeful boyfriend (delete as relaxed enough to sum this up a little. At this point, such as "Fancy going to sit off down the beach" applicable) and areas of outstanding natural beauty. you may be forgiven for thinking that I don't care meaning "I am going to mug you". Yes, that's right, If you suspect you may have a dark family secret, about my food's origin (just think how environmental- the chays have expanded, and are going global. It the risk is certainly accentuated. In this situation, and ly expensive it was to fly that tea bag all the way from appears that the common reasons for this modern if you hope to live to see the credits, simply abandon China), or about global issues. But just because I trend is they have heard that backpackers are easy, your cottage, ship and loved ones - it's a dog eat dog don't wear tie-dye, or better, shoes made out of recy- booze is cheap and they cant go to Magaluf or world out there. If you have been previously involved cled plastic bags, does that make me something spat Faliraki anymore as they got deported last time for in a mass ritual killing, even if it was years ago, ditto out of the hedonistic 80s to infiltrate the caring soci- urinating on people from their balcony. the former advice. And above all; DO NOT GO OUT ety in which we live today? No. It just means that I lm guessing a few of you (even myself) are won- AT NIGHT - if you hear the creepy music playing, actually care more that being seen to care. Think dering the point of this piece. It's probably a few you're basically a dead man walking, just say your about it: what does carbon neutral mean; is it good random thoughts/rants about how chays can be iden- prayers and hope it's for that old lady with the shov- for the environment; does it make you a better per- tified/the carnage they have caused, and their greed el. son if you offset your carbon emissions? If the answer for world domination? Well if Bush got two terms in to these is an unquestionable 'yes', I concede defeat office ... What isn't possible?! - evict me from this popular culture-driven society now, for there is no hope.

Alexis is confused; why do men have nipples? Mated is a final year engineering student. Eleanor is a first year English Literature and Language student.

pg30/observations/152/020207 5

IS Notes On A Scandal (15) (R1' CINEMA 2hrs) (NFT) Daily: (11.50 Sat/Sun Only); 2.20; 5.00; 7.30; Fri/Sat VVE:The Light hates: 10.10 New Releases: Dream Girls (12a) Arthur &The Invisibles (PG) (2hr 30) Daily 12.15 15.05 17 55 ilb' (RT 1 hr 30m) (NTT) Daily: (9.50; 20.45 Fri/Sal hates 23.35 NFT 12.20 Sat/Sun Only); 2.50; 5.20 Note On A Scandal (15) (lhr 55) Blood Diamond (15) (RT 2hrs Sat/Sun 09.45 Daily 12.00 14.15 es 50m) (NFT) Daily: (10.00 Sat/Sun 16.30 18.45 21.00 Fri/Sat hates Only); 1.10; 4.30; 7.45; Fri/Sat people can 23.15 NIT DIARY hates: 11.00 during the Grid Iron Gang (12a) (2hr 20) Rocky Balboa (12A) (RT 2hrs) tacks more Sat/Sun 11.25 Daily 14.05 16.45 (NFL') Daily: (11.20 Sat/Sun Only); Try Something New Friends of Antara Hollywood Amnesty 19.30 Fri/Sat fates 22.10 NFT 1.40; 4.00; 6.20; 8.45 Fri/Sat hates: Dancing- International Society- Arthur and the Invisibles (U) arch which 11.20 Meeting Room 2 19.00-21.00. 'Day for Darfur: Stop the talysed by (1hr 55) Sat/Sun 10.05 Daily 12.20 Learn some hot new dancing skills Genocide'. A day of events on The Pursuit Of Happiness (12A) 2nd ay of the 14.35 16.50 19.05 21.20 (RT 2hrs 20m) Daily: (11.10 Suit and have fun. All proceeds go Tuesday February 6. Meal at Squash- I Sciences, Only); 2.10; 5.10; 8.15; Fri/Sat Sports Centre Squash Court 13.00- towards the "Friends Moorish, Hyde Park Road, 20.00 linked to Blood Diamond (15) (21u 46) hates: 11.10 15.00. Another chance to give of Antara@" RAG charity project. with photos from Darfur and ten These SallStut 10_45 Daily 13.50 16.55 Smokin' Aces (18) (RT 2hrs 15m) squash a go. Full tuition given, £3 minute documentary. Darfur stall 20.00 Fri/Sat hates 23.05 (NM) Daily-. 1.30; 4.10; 6.50; 9.30 great for beginners. £3. in the Union. 10.00-16.00. Visit our ribed as Last King of Scotland (15) (2hr Last King of Scotland (15) (RT 5th website to support the fast and 'ems which 25) Sat 10.25 Daily 13.10 15.55 21trs 30m) Daily: (12.30 Sat/Sun Bellydancing- Introduction to Rifle Shooting- donate. resonance", (18.40 Subtitled Tees) (21.25 Only); 3.20; 6.10; 9.00 Conference Hall 17,00-19.00, Meet Parkinson Steps 18.15. :if the event Subtitled Sun) Miss Potter (PC) (RT 1hr 55m) Female only class to learn some Introductory session with a mini Bellydancing- where the Bobby (15) (2hr 20) Sun 10.00 Daily: (10.50 Sat Only); 8.00; new dance moves, led by teacher competition and coaching from a Bellydaricing show, Saturday they were Suriffnes Only 12.40 15.20 18.00 FreSat Lates- 10.40 Wendy Marshall. £2 national champion. £6.50 February 3,19.00, Riley Smith Hall , c list of 20.40 Happy Feet (U) (RT 2hr 15m) NUS/£5 without. All proceeds i the death The Return (15) (lhr 50) Sat/Sun Sat/Sun Only: 11.00; 1.50* Hot Stone Massage- 7th go to the charity Womanldnd. Lots interesting hates 23.40 Subtitled Showing Sunday 1.50prn Meeting Room 2 18.00-20.00. Italian Pizza Making- of drummers, bellydancers and Wallace a It's a Boy/Girl Thing (12A) (RT Audio Description available on Unique massage treatment using Meeting Room 3 17.00-18.00. Get general fun! nt "But it is 1hr 55) Sat/Sun 10.20 the all above shows heated stones to induce deep help making your own pizzas with Rocky (12a) (2hr 05) Sat/Sun wric most Flushed Away (11) (RT 1hr 50m) relaxation throughout mind and the help of a chef from Pizza where they 10.35 Daily 13.00 15.25 17_50 Express.Yurn. £2 Sat/Sun Only: 10.20 body £3.50. tic in our 20.15 Fri/Sat hates 22.40 Casino Royale (IRA) (RT 2hr :rtainly the Hannibal Rising (18) (2hr 20) 40m) Daily- (2.40 Not Sat/Sun); 3rd 8th Thurs Only 12.10 14.55 17.35 (6.00*• 9.15 Not Thurs) Green Action Woodland Walk- Chess- Do you have a one off event you 20.15 Subtitled Showing Tuesday Outside the Union 11.00. A chance Old Bar 18.00-21.00. Learn chess want include in the LS2 diary? Pursuit of Happiness (12a) (RT 6.00pm to see the greener side of Leeds, with the experts from Chess Soc. email details to: 2hr 20) Daily 12.10 15.00 17.45 Audio Description available on get some exercise and learn more £1 [email protected] by ;ts 20.30 Fri/Sat hates 23.10 the all above shows about your surroundings. Bring Tuesday. Babel (15) (2hr 45) Sat/Sun 10.30 warm clothes and a packed lunch. Sign Language- Daily 13.35 16.40 19.45 Fri/Sat NTT - No Free Tickets Permitted Free. Meeting Room 3 19.00-21.00. The less hates 23.50 Book online: www.myvue.com or Sign Language Society will give Smoking Aces (18) (2hr 10) Daily call 08712 240 240. 5th you a brief introduction on deaf 13.30 16.05 18.35 21.15 Fri/Sat Student Parent Party- awareness, teach you how to LS2 needs a hates 23.45 Pulse 17.00-19.00. Celebrate the finger spell the sign language ul and Trans Happy Feet (U) (2hr 10) Sat/Sun new student yeas and the end of alphabet, how to introduce Diary editor holding an 11.00 nyde Park Picture game exams. Free. yourself to a deaf person and how ch will run Employee of the Month (12a) FRI Notes on a Scandal (15) to sign on a social! £1_50 Coffee Him, (2hr 10) Sat/Sun 11.30 Daily 16.20 18.45.20.45 SAT: Over the Hedge Revelation Rock-Gospel Choir- to compile (21.10 Not Mon/Thurs) c Arc of the (U) 11.00 The Dead (PG) 15.00 ARC Conference Hall 17.00-19.00. 12 and 2. Venus (15) (2hr) Daily 14.00 18.50 Notes on a Scandal (15) 17.00, Learn the bastes of Gospel weekly on issues Them (15) (lhr 40) Fri/Sat hates 19.00, 21.00 SUN: The Dead (PC) singing and you don't even need Societies -nullity, and 23.40 14.30 Notes on a Scandal (15) to be able to read music! £2. listings from Salaam (PC) (4hr) Daily 14.55 16.30, 18.30,20.00 MON: Notes on ivided on a 19.15 a Scandal (15) 18.45, 20.45 TOES: Climbing- American Football Team- zxual health. Queen (12a) (2hr 05) Sat/Sun Notes on a Scandal (15) 17.00, ARC Reception 17.45-19.30. Pick Leeds University American around history. 10.00 Daily 12.30 21.00 Simon and Laura (12A) 19.00 up some new and spectacular Football Team are holding a GBT society WED: Notes on a Scandal (15) skills at the climbing wall.You Superbowl party at Hard Rock VUE.11Cfrisstall Road Leeds. Think s and some 16.00, 18.00, 20.00 THTIR: Notes don't even have to be sporty to Cafe on Sunday February 4.21.00- all the free New Releases: Hannibal Rising 04.00. Open bar all night and free on a Scandal (15) 18.45, 20.45 enjoy this physical activity. provided on (18) (RT 2hrs 20m) (NFT) Thurs drinks at the first touchdown. you're up to Only-. 1.00; 3.40; 6.30; 9.15 Tickets £3 or £5 on the night. Drearngirls (IRA) (RT 2hrs 30m) Contact Luke Brafield on 07725 it? • week will (NFT) Daily: (11.30 Sat/Sun Only): 738644 the 7th of 2.30; 5.30; 8.30; Fri/Sat hates: 11.30 [email protected] if the LOST night is run t..t one was a t, with a new even better. on lower EMILY ISRAEL'S... stator Disco.) Dear diary, asked. This professor doesn't ask nicely. When fighting for. I remember Wind in the Willows, , bad he demands, I offer tolerable shreds of original- Wuthering Heights, Harry Potter, I cannot possi- The Professor is as cruel as a Dickensian cari- ity. He accuses me of not reading the text, and bly stay angry at books for long. It's a tragedy ICU cature, as English as the vilest Disney villain. follows with a degrading rant about the perils that degrees produce loathing in their subjects His trademark tweed dress and its accomplice; of Wikipedia. I am undecided as to whether his at all. whether taken for love or for money: narcissistic hatred of students (me in particular) illege Union the grey patch, is proof in cloth of his antiquat- that first class ed eccentricities. No lecture of his is conducted is caused by our youth, or by our ignorance 'Jim, do you still enjoy Maths and Economics?' (mine in particular). bsidised with without a healthy wooden stick; a stick to point inns. 'Still! I never liked either in the first place! You and threaten objects with, be they the board, 'help kit' for the wall or the students. The gaps of his dicta- I did read the stupid book, even if books are the know that.' stale spouse I remember loving once, but now rrn or hourly- tion are spent coaxing this stick with a reminis- ., part of the despise. I suppose it's Iike sex. When it's fresh 'No. I just thought you moaned a lot. Why did cent glaze on face, as if lamenting the death of e better terms the cane. No one dare doodle in his lecture. His and spontaneous and with a good man, it's fun, you take the degree, then?' but when you're set a totalitarian schedule (who llt10 plus staff talent is to glower at every individual simulta- -Jry contracts. with/with what/when/where) and are then 'Because I had the misfortune of being extreme- neously, to know what they are doing or think- which came ing, irrespective of the number in the room, forced to analyse performance, it becomes ly gifted in areas that I loathed, that would make rather flat. I cannot remember the last book I me rich.' ans that some however dispersed the body of listeners. His now have the sphere of terror is more evident in the smaller fell for. As an English student. it is inconvenient to unearth a resentment towards reading. I can However, the space of seminars, where he points and :peated use of pounces on the silent ones. I am one of the only suppose that stripping a book to learn its beauty paradoxically renders it ugly. Maybe leadernic staff silent ones. No matter how prepared I am. the sities with too contributions of others are always superior to this thought period is the equivalent of a lover's tiff, or a 'rough patch'. Some things are worth ng to provide the ideas in my head. So I say nothing. Unless search on the

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Leeds Student www,leedsstudent.org.uk Friday, Februrary 2, 2007 4 THE STUDENT EXECUTIVE ELECTIONS BALLOTS OPEN ACROSS CAMPUS 13/02/07

An exc and me post exi YOU CHOOSE THE FUTURE the Ur annual Heal OF LUU WITH ONE LUU in EASY VOTE

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News `flashbulb' memories A survey has shown that people can recall where they were during the d spread for September 11 terrorist attacks more than any other moment. According to the research which was carried out and analysed by Professor Martin Conway of the faculty of Psychological Sciences, the 9/11 attacks are linked to "flashbulb memories". These memories are described as recollections of public events which .althy week have a strong "personal resonance", where the date and place of the event all for around a termer. can he named as well as where the Spoils Exec Archie Sample hailed person was and what they were the week as a success. "Healthy week doing. Second on the list of is over twice as big this year, and twice 'flashbulb memories' was the death as many students have attended, with of Princess Diana. "It is interesting every event filled" he said. "On this research said" Katy Wallace a most superficial record, you could say second year History student "But it is that the week has been successful." He not surprising. Of course most also added that Healthy week had been people can remember where they useful not just for the sporting elite of were, particularly people in our the university, but for anyone who generation, those are certainly the wanted to get involved. "Being healthy biggest events of my lifetime." isn't just about doing sport, we're looking to stimulate interest for people who don't consider themselves healthy. LGBT hosts to encourage them to have a go." an awareness Healthy week activities continue over this month and into March. For more week information on how to book your place The Lesbian. Clay, Bisexual and Trans on a course, or to view the programmes Society (LOST) is holding an on offer, visit "Awareness Week", which will run www.lccds.ac.uklhealthywcek. or call everyday at their regular Coffee Hour the Arc reception on 0113 380 1418. event_ which is held in the Are of the Union building between 12 and 2_ There will he a big drive on issue, COOKING UP A STORM: Top university chefs show students the healthy way to do it facing the LGBT community. and r-,} 40n) Net Docrey information will be provided on a range cif issues such as sexual health. The Wooldridge report LGBT politics and LGBT history_ As well us this, the LOST society promise some fun games and some nice food, along with all the free coffee and tea normally provided on their weekday meetings Multiculturalism: careful The highlight of the week will come on Wednesday the 7th of February with the return of the LGBT club night 'Curious'. The night is run by LCITB students, the last one was a who you call a racist huge success and this time, with a new venue it is tipped to he even better. sexual orientations, whatever. ostracising 'alien cultures' is any of the comment ceases, and the joke With a new venue (Mook, on lower 'whatever? they arc clearly very worse or different from ostracising is on them. briggitte) a new DJ iViolator Disco) chilled about the whole thing] to 'chaos' or 'fat racists' even, yet there Jade Goody's comments were and fantastic drinks offers. come and five with us [...but...] we seems to he this untouchable, labelled racist due to her pejorative consider it completely outside norms generalisation of a culture that isn't to,..kill women by stoning them in hers, of which she had no Good uni, bad public, burning them alive, burning understanding. However, the real them with acid, circumcising them problem lies removed. pay say UCU etc." (Etc in this sense meaning The term racist Our application of the word super-natural activity, devil worship is used in order to racist in recent weeks doesn't The University and College Union and fox hunting). place ourselves on a somehow mean that we ourselves are (UCU) declared this week that first class Now because I ooze modernity to By Midaael Wooldridge podium above the not racist, nor that we know more universities are being subsidised with the extent that I'm an advocate of about world cultures. It's all well second class pay and conditions. feminism almost more than feminists ill-educated, whilst and good to use someone like Goody They have launched a 'help kit" for are (or women. gays, whatever), I we are exempted of to take the brunt for the shameful academic staff on fixed-term or hourly- could join in with the accusations nationwide trait of ignorance. but paid contracts. The kit is part of the Trudging though the Canadian that these 'rules' are racist and that the responsibility to when it is veiled over as a union's campaign to secure better terms backwater this week, I stumbled Andre Drouin is aware that most change this comfortable end to a scandal, it and conditions for the 150,000 plus staff across a little town called foreigners have the presence of mind remains clear that we are going to who are forced unto temporary contracts. Herouxville which is situated 100 to stone women to death in private, mulitcultural land ignore the issue at hand. Employment legislation which came miles north east of Montreal in the and that these rules are merely to where communities Prejudices in our society don't into force last summer means that some province of Quebec, Canada. Whilst ostracise the 'inferior' because they remain separate conic exclusively from race - I non-permanent employees now have the it only has one immigrant family out are ofa different race. would go so far as to say it is just a right to full contracts. However, the However, despite a comment in coincidence that race is involved. of a population of 1,►00, the town union said today that the repeated use of has felt it necessary to draw up a list LS2 last week by a 'public-school- f The reality lies in the fact that fixed-term contracts for academic staff educated-slayer-of-all-chaos' which of guidelines for any migrants cultures of all types; social, remains endemic in universities with too claimed Goody to be a '(fat) racist' I wishing to reside in the area. religious, economic, political etc, arc many institutions still trying to provide would be inclined to say that racism notifying them of what they are liberally defined label of race that intrinsically isolationist, and are world-class teaching and research on the prohibited from doing. is a rather over used and ill defined encapsulates all who look and do content on remaining so, just as long cheap. term. As is the word fat...Anyhow. other, and live elsewhere, and if the "We invite people from all as they can appear not to every now For information and to download a I 'm confused as to how label of race isn't applied, the horror and then. nationalities, all languages. all pack visit www.ucu.org.uk/ftpack Friday, February 2, 2007 Leeds Student www.leedsstudent.org.uk 6

ha cafe up with it healthy ethos - I always d gone - it was really, rts), but we spend a hit of time training them hated having to buy pre-packaged heartbreaking, it was horrible. up. Many people graduate and then stay Name: Lou Henry sandwiches and chips when I was a Ls: You have lots of intriguing artwork Occupation: Owner of on to work full time, so there are some on the walls... older people as well. I've been sending student. Everything here is fresh, it's Opposite Cafe healthy and you don't have to worry LH: Yeah were trying to use the space at people home with flu left, right and centre a place where people can show card se today though. and I've also been training about anything having preservatives in it. t] their artwork. We recently got soft all day for the UK National Bansta LS: How do your prices compare with somewhere like the Union, for example? friends of ours together and did twit t- Championships. shirts and three posters all about the cafe- LS: LH: I think we're probably a little hit It's a little cultural To find the best cappuccino maker in any profits we make go back to the mists the UK? more expensive, but that reflects the fact centre where that everything is fresh and also the It's a great way of getting young artists LH: Yeah, it's the biggest competition in recogni scd_ the UK for pet Tic making coffee - last amount of time we've put into making the students can meet and LS: What's the best thing about yourjnbt year we came second. You have to serve food. discuss ideas LH: The stiff definitely_ We all get an four espressos. four cappuccinos and four LS: How did you get stoned? really well. its really nice to be able to signature drinks in fifteen minutes. The LH: Well. I used to manage the lettings 77 agency upstairs, and when the office choose who you work with. signature drink can be anything that moved up there. this space was renovated LS: What makes Opposite Cafe sfifferenit LS: Hello and welcome to 300 Seconds. you've created, but everything has to be to be turned into a shop. I argued with the LI-I, I think the approach we've got in how has your day been? perfect, the rules are very precise and very landlord tbr five months over the lease, making a community here - the music, an Absolute chaos, its been our busiest rigid. You have to extract an espresso shot in the right amount of time. within 0.5 of but I won the site in the end. I've always and design side of it. We wanted to create day of this term since the exams finished. a little cultural centre where students can and loads of people have had flu, a second_ A 22 second extraction for our wanted to run my own business - I didn't know anything about coffee. I've had to meet and discuss ideas. This year we had probably after concentrating so hard on coffee is absolutely perfect. learn and teach myself. I had to lit the a music festival, loads of an exhibitions their exams. LS: Its 'Healthy Week' at LLIU at the and my dad. and loads of stuff like that going on IS: So do you have lots of students moment, would you say that Opposite place out myself - Me There's a nice community of shops working for you? Cafe subscribes to this ethos? IS: Do people still steal the mugs? opposite the Parkinson building and I'm LH: Well it's a bit of a mixture, first year LH: Absolutely. for example we use LH: Well 1 can't get them anymore, we sure more will be opening up in the future students tend to be Less experienced and organic milk, the healthiest milk you can had about 200 with 'Opposite' printed on - hopefully no Starbucks! so we only have so many places for them. get, it's so much better for you. We set the them, but in Freshers' Week all of them Atheist society receives a warm welcome LeLais University Union. The society was between sides." By Charlie Stuffing ratified by the societies comnuttoe in When asked if there was any November last year. opposition to the establishment of such a It is currently in its early stages, society within the University of Leeds. The official launch party for the newly although the Refreshers Fair on January Wortelk said: "I am not aware of any established Atheist Society was held on 29 and 30 has helped the group to raise current opposition from the other religious Tuesday evening to give an informal their profile and sign up some new societies but there were some initial introduction to the group's aims and members. problems with the society's ratification. as future plans. The society has quite high ambitions. it apparently provoked some controversy The party was held in Pulse. in LUU. Workilk said: "I set up the society as I within the societies' committee." Chris Worfolk, the president of the have a strong belief in atheism and want In reaction to the oration of the 'Atheist Society', said: "the main to spread and promote atheist thinking." 'Atheist society', Marishka Van objective of the event was to raise The society is still planning the events Steenbergen, the president of 'Celebrating awareness for the society." The event had to be held this semester, but according to Him In Print' and editor of Created? a good turnout, including a representative Worfolk. they will mainly consist of magazine, said: "We were not aware of front the Humanist Society of West "talks, discussions and prsentations". this group's existence but we do not have Yorkshire. He also said that the group is any objections to the establishment of Matthew Revell. the Atheist Society's "definitely hoping to get outside such a group. I value and appreciate the .secattary, made a speech welcoming new speakers." At the society's launch party. open. tolerant and creative opportunities members.. This was followed by live Revell said: "we are considering holding our Union presents us with. musk by musician. Ben Schreclier. a third debates over current issues, such as gay "I believe there should be a society for •Rationalists year Music student, He said: 'I am going adoption, that would be of concern to both all the variety of beliefs and interests in to be joining the society as it ties into my us and religious groups. the student body and would encourage • Secularists ideas and philosophy, l think that it is a "We would like to set up debates with these societies to have healthy great opportunity to see the world the other religious societies to better relationships and communication with • Atheists differently and to provide an environment understand their position. We would like each other." that lets you discuss it." to have a neutral chair, to oversee the Phil Donohue, a fourth year PPS meeting and would definitely want the student. said: "I came along as it is a new debate to be open for anyone to Wilke society that looked interesting and it is along to." Them will be an introductory meeting on very topical, as well as being something When asked about this idea, Kieran February 6 21.X7 at (ipul for anyone that I have been interested in for a while." O'Shea, a second year computing student interested in the society. For Maher The Atheist society was initially set up and member of the "Atheist Society". information on the location of the meeting after a petition was signed by students said: "I think the debate is a really good or the 'Atheist Society' itself, visit the who were interested in becoming idea as there would be a lot of common website: hup://leeds.atheistsoc.org or e- THINKING RATIONALLY: The launch involved, which was followed by an ground and it would hopefully achieve mail: leeds @atheistsoc.org. of the Atheist Society application for the society being sent to something and not just be arguments PHOTO: Patrick Nixon' Leeds Student www.leedsstudent.org.uk Friday, February 2, 2007 7 Fighting with fibre

By Anton Mclean great deal of national media attention the results of the study show that this the leading fender of cancer research Lntormation Officer at the Charity looked at the diets of women, who at needs to be around 30g to have a in the UK. Ed Yong, Science said "Separating the individual the start of the study, were aged significant effect. 11 is thought that Lnformation Officer at Cancer effects of the variety of foods we eat Research UK, said: "Until now, the on breast cancer risk is difficult. A diet high in fibre could he pivotal between 35 and 69 and found that the anti-oxidant properties in high fibre evidence that fibre could reduce the "Previous studies looking at fibre in the fight against breast cancer m effects of a high-fibre diet only foods may be the reason why the risk of breast cancer has been and breast cancer have been pre-menopausal women according to benefited those who had not yet nutrient helps to stave off breast inconsistent. inconclusive. More work is needed in new research. reached the menopause. cancer. this area before conclusions can he Scientists at the University of Professor Cade admitted that the Fibre-full foods include "This study suggests that this is because any protective effects are drawn." Leeds' Centre for Epidemiology and research team were "surprised" by wholemeal bread, wholegrain This was dismissed by Professor Biostatistics studied the eating habits this development, but suggested that breakfast cereals such as Weetabix limited to women before their menopause. The study further Cade who insisted that the study was of 35,000 women over seven years it may be because there is a known and Shreddies, fruits, vegetables and "wide-ranging and in-depth." using a 21 7-item food questionnaire. link between breast cancer and the nuts. highlights the importance of eating a healthy diet for reducing the risk of Breast Cancer causes more than They found that those women female hormone oestrogen. Professor Cade insists such a diet 12,000 deaths each year in the UK with the highest fibre intake cut their Dietary fibre has been is "do-able". She said, "you would cancer." and is the most commonly diagnosed risk of developing breast cancer by demonstrated to regulate oestrogen have to cat a fibre-rich breakfast However, the findings were received more cautiously from cancer in women under 35. half. levels in the body and this effect cereal, wholemeal bread instead of Although its occurrence Professor Janet Cade who led the would be especially relevant to the white and five portions of fruit and another leading cancer charity. women, study said. "Previous research hasn't pre-menopausal group who naturally vegetables a day." Breakthrough Breast Cancer. disproportionately affects men can also develop breast cancer. shown a convincing link between have far higher levels of the The research was welcomed by Dr Sarah Cant. Senior Policy and increased dietary fibre and a lower hormone. risk of breast cancer. But earlier Of the 35,000 participants. 257 studies didn't draw any distinction pre-menopausal women developed between pre- and post-menopausal breast cancer during the study. They women. were found to be women who had a "Our study found no protective greater percentage of energy derived effect in the older group,but from prole i significant evidence of a link in the (In and had lower intakes of dietary pre-menopausal women.' fibre and vitamin C. compared to the The research which has been women who did not develop breast published in the International Journal cancer. The average person in the UK eats GC of Epidemiology and has received a about 12g of fibre a day, however. greats of es Spotlight on THIS SEASON'S FASHION FOR LESS OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK, 9PM MON - FRI feminism 84 YORK ROAD, LEEDS

By Katy Palmer and Lizzie Simmer would be more likely to see it" . Katy WooInter, an actress in this year's production said: "It's not scary, The Vagina Monologues is coming to it's fun. Boys could probably learn a lot from it", the Riley Smith Hall next week. The show has been called into question Part of the play's purpose is to raise over its relevance to our student issues about rape and domestic population, due to what may be seen as violence. Collections will be made a cringe-worthy approach to feminism. after the performance for the charity Would you like your chance of winning with audiences being asked to join in a STAR (Surviving Trauma after Rape). £300 of Great Clothes vouchers? chorus, chanting the word 'c*se. which helps to integrate victims back However, the show at Leeds into society. This crimes after a joint Great Clothes does exactly what is says on the packet - we sell Great Clothes! But the realty Great University. which is in its third year, report by Her Majesty's Inspectorate of thing about Great Clothes is you can get this seasons fashion for up to 20% less than the cost of the promises to deliver something new. Constabulary and Her Majesty's high street. Brands such as Firetrap, Teddy Smith, French Connection, Henley's, Miss Sixty, Crown Prosecution Service The play's director Lizzie Jones is Duck & Cover, Goiddigga, Fred Perry, Oakley, G Star, Adidas, Nike, Levis. the list is endless, emphasizing the play's political angle Inspectorate. concluding that many and said: "It's not a feminist rant but a police officers and prosecutors were humanitarian issue". In the past, only paying lip-service to new policies Wouldn't it be nice to come in and buy anything you wanted? productions have been criticized for intended at increasing du; small Well you have that chance it you enter our competition. proportion of cases that get to court. being obvious, embarrassing, and Americanind. due to the choices in Reported rapes have increased from Entering the competition is easy - just log onto the Great Clothes costume and staging. Last year's 9,734 to 13,712, between 2(XII and website greatclothes.co.uk and browse around the site to answer production saw the cast dtesscd in 2005. More and more rape suspects are escaping justice each year, despite the following question: black with red lipstick. However. Jones record numbers of women prepared to will take a more light- hearted come forward to report a sex crime. In clownish approach, saying the fact, the proportion of suspects being We want to know 2 brands which production is "almost tongue in convicted has fallen from 6.57 per cent are pictured in the men's section check•. to 5.3 per cent between 2002 and 2005. Some argue that feminist issues arc and 2 brands which are pictured in Bused on author Eve Ensler's 'Vagina not as relevant ut 2007 as when the the women's section. Once you've Interviews', conducted with women play first began in 1996_ The high found your answer email us at from all around the world, the play is proportion of female audience made up of a collection of stories that [email protected] . members has raised concerns over the are n.-al to both men and women. Don't forget to put the reference play's ability to reach out to male GREAT CLOTHES GREAT GIVE- theatre-goers as the majority of last The Vagina Monologues runs from the year's audiences were female. AWAY in the subject field of your However, Will Purchase, a second February 12-14 in The Riley email, year English student said: "The title Smith Hall. Competition closes 28th Feb 07. would make it stick in my mind and I Terms & Conditions apply.

Leeds Studentwww.leedsstudent.org.uk Friday, February 2, 21307 8

Under the Radar Oz drought intensifies continent on earth. More than 50 per per cent of the nation's irrigation By Paul Raymond situation to become so had that the Sydney, Australia: Australians arc cent of the vast Australian countryside resources, from State administrators facing severe water restrictions as the officials in Queensland are planning receives too little rainfall to support The scheme also includes a A$4.51in country's six-year drought - the worst to add "recycled water" (i.e. treated agriculture, but irrigation programmes (E1.8bn) plan to deal with over-Aiwa- ever recorded - intensifies. Residents sewage) to mains supplies in an effort don of irrigation rights and inefficient of Melbourne and Sydney, two of to cope with the severest drought in have been developed which make it •ustralia's largest cities, are being possible to grow crops in areas which water usage by farmers, If it is put into the country's 200 year history, effect. it will be the biggest Shake-tip Critics claim that the stricil) monitored by government Critics claim that the situation would otherwise rank amongst the water patrols to ensure that they do least naturally productive land in the of water management in Australia in situation would would never have become this bad if generation_ not breach guidelines on the use of the government had acted more wisely world. However, many feel that the Gov. never have become hosepipes and sprinkler systems, and planned for the long term. Watering these dry areas places a while some towns reservoirs are as ernment has been slow to act to ensu this bad if the Senator Rachel Siewert, of the huge burden on already strained re little as two per cent full. Australia's water security for the Australian Green Party, last week resources. Farm irrigation accounts government had Prime Minister John Howard has future. Sandra Foster, of Melbourne, accused the government of "making for almost 78 per cent of the State of announced a AS1Ohn tf.3.9bn) pro- is angry that politics seem to be dictat acted more wisely short-term political decisions on Victoria's water consumption. often gramme to deal with the country's crops such ing water policy. and planned for the water, and [failing tol face the fact supporting water-intensive water problems. but anger is growing "Nothing has been done to prevent that desperately hard decisions arc as rice and cotton which environmen- long term that the federal government has not this situation from escalating," sh needed in the face of the impacts of a talists feel arc simply unviahle in this e dealt adequately with a situation drying environment and climate parched land. says. "Votes are still what count most, which could have been foreseen years change." The Federal Government not sensible sustainable water use in ago. A major issue raised by the current announced last week that it plans to this DRY land. Unless we get less The government has come under shortages is land use in the vast arid wrest control of the vast Murray-Dar- political and more water-wise, we are sustained criticism for allowing the regions of this, the driest inhabited ling river 'system, source of some 70 a ruined country."

DESERTIFICATION: The project- ed areas of desert growth, above. Without irrigation, Australia is the dryest continent on earth

Students shot at demo Shutting the gate on crime Heroin dealer sent down Starbucks takes over club Also in the news Cameroon Police shot dead two stu- Police and local community authori- Unman Ali. a 21 year old man from The Vortex club in Stoke Newington. dents and injured three more last ties are proposing a scheme that will Bradford was given a five year prison North London, is to face a development month at a student demonstration in see the implementation of gates in and sentence last week for the possession of scheme that will see it turned into a Star- the University of Bueu-Ambazonia. around the alleyways at Hilltop Place, five kilo grams of Heroin with a street bucks cafe and block of flats. Stoke The demonstration was regarding a Hyde Park. There has been an increas- value of £250,400. Usman Ali, who Newington already has 14 Starbucks science faculty's fixing of exam lists ing number of criminal incidents rang- allegedly "played a key role in traffick- coffee houses within 5 km. Tice redevel- that saw 27 French Cameroon students ing from drug dealing through to cars ing drugs in the West Yorkshire area" opment agency has faced firm resistance being added to the exam list unfairly. being burnt out and "street fighting". was caught by a firearms squad in the from activists who are keen to keep the The Chancellor of the University, Mr. The scheme that is designed to move back of a taxi with the Heroin in June Vortex club open in its previous state of Agbor Tahi is alleged to have person- the crime away from Hilltop Place will 2006, and has pleaded guilty to two Jazz club -cinema - community came. ally fetched a police unit to calm the see the implementation of gates that charges of possession with intent to sup- Attention is being paid to other areas in demonstrations. It all comes six are in keeping with the local style, ply. He has featured regularly in West North London as they face regeneration months after the same police force designed by the residents, prohibiting Yorkshire Police's drug investigations: and development for the Olympics, but shot dead three students in a demon- unwanted and 'uneccesary' access to late in 2005, Usman All was charged and equal amounts of aggression to the pea- stration against the increasing of uni- the alleyways that are private land convicted as a result of possessing a sub- pose's is being shown as in Hackney's versity fees and disallowing a Union owned by the houses that hack onto stantial amount or crack cocaine and Dalston Theatre and Stoke Newington's of students. the land. heroin with intent to supply_ Vortex Club_

Under the Radar is a weekly round-up of national and global news that hasn't hit the headlines. To get in touch with the sub editors with story ideas or feedback, email radars lsweb.org-uk

Leeds Student www.leedsstudent.org.uk Friday, February 2, 2007 9 Extra extra

12 Malaria A silent disease with bite; Virology correspondant, Hind Hassan, takes a look at the invisible killer.

14 Tiger Tiger LS extra sends correspondant Alex Anderson to look at the eye of the tiger; faster pussycat. kill, kill! (Go look - it's grrreat!)

t wasn't terrifying at all. On enthusiastically pushes the hard-sell Ithe day. you've just kind with me: "We're not just about resigned yourself to walking fundraising: students can come in, "The over hot coals. There's no trick to it. organise their own event (with some and people think its some trick, but training and help) and can actually go hitchhikes, for it's not." Sat in the RAG office, away and know that. they've achieved somewhere in the corridors that wind something." Strongly emphasising example - around the LUU building. Ed Rex — the Fact that, in the marketplace, a the co-ordinator of the Leeds branch degree counts for little without a Paris, — explains, quite calmly. something portfolio of extracurricular activities. that sounds absolutely terrifying. Rex has both bases covered and Amsterdam, Run "You undergo a training session for appeals to those who want to raise two hours beforehand; you undergo money for charity. and those who Dublin, some techniques with your emotions want to get involved to develop their to make sure you're nice and relaxed. own skills. Last year. Leeds RAG Morocco and And all of a sudden, you get all raised 1:147,000 which just goes to energetic — it's all the power of the show that this approach seems to Prague - the mind. We're actually thinking of work. doing a glass-walking event next Obviously we want to raise as Morocco and time, but I think health and safety much money as possible, and we Rammed would have a field day." often go back to the most successful Prague With RAG week imminently events of the year before." Rex approaching, it is perhaps a good explains, and the RAG has a number hitchhikes With RAG week, and RAG's 85th time to take a look at what proudly of events that have become almost claims to be the oldest society on traditional, "The hitchhikes, for alone i birthday, rapidly approaching, LS campus. Eighty-five years old this example — Paris, Amsterdam, Dublin, Valentine's Day. RAG (Raise and Morocco and Prague - the Morocco accounted for extra sent James Haddon to talk to Give) is the official fundraising body and Prague hitchhikes accounted for of the Union and, as an Incorporated £35,000 last year." This year's £35,000 last co-ordinator, Ed Rex about charity, body. has a full-time co-ordinator Amsterdam hitch arrived back home employed by LUU to manage it. Ed last Monday, and had been fairly well year." Amsterdam and speed dating. Rex. voted in during last year's supported with 78 hitchers getting sabbatical elections, sits and involved, and making it hack without Friday, February 2 Leeds Student ww•leedsstudent.org.uk , 2007 10 extra RAG

mishap. Vivien King Macdona, a second-year English student. went along and took part as her first participation in a RAG event: "I Not many thought about doing it last year and 'but for the cold (it sounds students are ridiculous), and my lack of organisation - it involves enamoured with fundraising. and needs each aspect to be sorted, So. this year, 1 decided to the idea of giving really go for it_ We went around the up their Union in fancy dress - as Mad Hatters - and went around the pubs Saturdays, just to asking if anyone had spare change. One of my friends cooked a meal for stand in the all of his housernates and friends, and did canvashes•- things like that." The middle of a street hitchhike requires its hitchers to pry and collect a 150 deposit that's returned when over £150 of sponsorship is raised - money, but helping provide an incentive to actively raise funds. people with a "We have five hitchhikes each year," Rex explains. "the Paris one really good heart takes place at the start of November do - on any given and that's usually quite popular among first year students who're just Raid, there are in the middle of reading week - what better way to spend reading week about 10 or 15 than in Paris? - then we have Amsterdam, full of second years and CHESTY: RAG expose the risks as part of Breast Cancer Awareness week labDvel third years: Morocco and Prague take place over Easter, both at once, and for the same charity - Link London, Edinburgh..." While they Community Development. Anyone run regularly, they arc not as well can go at any time during Easter, so intended as he'd like: "Not many long as they get to Morocco or students are enamoured with the idea Prague at a specified time; Dublin of giving up their Saturdays, just to will take place at the end of April and stand in the middle of a street and is run by Kaos. But everything is collect money," he complains, "But going to be changing because we people with a really good heart do - thought. in terms of levels - think on any given Raid, there arc about Ill computer games. Dublin is the easiest or IS students, They can be to hitchhike to. so we're going to put particularly successful, though, that as the first one, to ease people in; depending how experienced the Morocco would be toughest." Raider is - one time there were seven Perhaps the events that form the of us that went to Newcastle and backbone of RAG's fundraising are between us, we raised £1.1140 in one the RAG Raids. fortnightly forays to day." different towns to raise money "If you compare our RAG with through street collections. Cheekily others, you'd notice that other RAGs promoted with the slogan "We do it have a set number of charities they on street corners for money!". RAG raise money for that year, which an operatives generally try to persuade event organiser would have to adhere passers-by to part with their cash. to," Ed explains. "In our case, we often through chaotic and eye- don't like that because we want the catching antics. "In most eases, we event organisers to feel like they've have to provide our own transport. been rewarded with something, so we refreshments and everything, so we give them the opportunity to give to often stay really close to Leeds," Rex what charity they want to." In the last explains, "But, when the charity will year, RAG gave money to over 30 give you expenses, then Newcastle, charities, ranging from Link Community Development to Whin. WAX LYRICAL: Brave volunteers wish their leghair goodbye (above Kids.. and its decision to leave the - CHECKMATE: A concerned campaigner checks hinsSel) (below cause of an event up to its organiser seems to have a noticeable effect on people's willingness to take part. Throughout, the Leeds RAG group has emphasised the central RAG: importance of participation, stressing the fact that the events are usually organised. not by the committee, but by students who approach them themselves. Running from the 7-14 February, "We do it RAG week is a tradition that's taken place since the 1960s. "Every university has their own RAG week. on street but at different times of the year. Sometimes they'll have it the last week before Christmas, others the corners week just after Fresher's, but we tend to do ours around Valentine's Day, because that's when our RAG's for birthday is. We didn't have a RAG week for a couple of years before last year." Traditionally. RAG week money!" gained notoriety for its publicity- stunts, but it has been bought back as an opportunity to raise additional money without, hopefully, raising the society's infamy. "A lot of Raggies got up to no good during Rag week: I remember they were flying the Leeds Student www.leedsstudent.org.uk Friday, February 2, 2007 Lt RAG '-xtra

rrrrrrrrE conference and groups from other Universities flocked to the Union's A lot of Raggies conference room. "It's for two lots of people: Raggies, to learn more about got up to no good how to run events, how to make RAG a bit more efficient in terms of during Rag week: publicity and finance, and for Charity I remember they Reps to meet Raggies and get some interaction going," Rex explains. were flying the "And to socialise. of course - I think the top-thing about the RAG banner off the conference is networking. It was very helpful. because we discovered that. Parkinson as a team, we could run a lot more building, which big events with lots of costs involved. We made more contacts they were not within RAG, too." With a certain degree of pride, he adds: "Now allowed to, and they're coming up to us and asking for help - we organised the RAG went to lectures, conference and they know us." disrupting the "Since September. it was agreed in the building review that the [RAG whole stand's traditional location] should be left open for space and it really proceedings. did impact." having been a recurring feature throughout the discussion so far. Ed Rex finally turns squarely to address the problem of publicity. banner off the Parkinson building, "We didn't actually realise until the RAIDERS: Two Raggies hit the streets of Manchester (above) which they were not allowed to, and end of September when we went to went to lectures, disrupting the whole book the stand. We realised that we'd proceedings, We're not about have to move to the One-stop Shop. disruption any more, but we do try Not much traffic goes through. so we and get the message across." went from gO people on the Paris Unsporting in his reticence to reveal hitch that happened last year to 33 the group's plans for celebration. people this year. Our campaign has Rex only named a few of the events brought it to the attention of the that had been announced ahead of Executive committee. and it's gone time: the Vagina Monologues, group to the Union council now. We'll he speed-dating ("Five Go Dating"), and hack for RAG week, on Mondays and Rag's 85th birthday party. Tuesdays." "The Vagina Monologues is "In terms of publicity, we've got a happening on the Sunday through website - everyone's using the Wednesday, down in the Riley internet these days - and we've got a Smith. and from what I've heard of newsletter that goes out to the it's better than last year's. Last year's membership." the RAG mailing list, was good. I'm not saying it was bad, he explains. has a Current but this year will he phenomenal." subscription of 1500 students_ Five Go Dating is a variation on the "Others can use the notice boards, or more typical speed dating form: come to the office. Or they use our "You have to go with four of your most recent thing. our Facebouk friends, so there'll he live of you, We group - at the moment we've got bring five girls and five boys about 335 members, We put a RAG- together and speed date each other. Mag in every single room of the halls We're trying to keep to the true of the first years - we had more formula, we've a compere and each Freshers this year than during the last group'11 have twenty minutes_ We're five." Things are not ideal. however, going to be having drinking games - and when asked if there were any not that I'm advocating the use of changes or advances he'd make to alcohol or anything - and each their advertising and campus person will spend two minutes with presence. Rex fell silent for a COMMITTED: Three of Leeds' RAG committee kick back (above) each person in the group." moment before he replies. HEROES: National Raggies celebrate at Leeds' National RAG Conference (below). Asked about the politics and definitively: "Badges." governance of RAG. Rex was quick to point out the fact that their system is undergoing a series of changes to the running of the group: "Usually it's been the RAG co-ordinator, but the co-ordinator is now a staff member of the Union and I want to We realised that give that power back to the students." At the moment, supporting him in his we'd have to role. there is an eleven-strong move to the committee of students - the 'Rag Slags' - but this may nut be true for One-stop Shop. long. "We're undergoing changes," Rex explains. "to expand that Not much traffic committee into twelve. We're hoping goes through, so Ito introducel the Sponsorship officer because we're going to have to he we went from self-funded from 2008." The inclusion of an officer to organise the 80 people on raising of enough funds to support the group is part of the impact that the Paris hitch the Student Activities Review - that happened introduced last year by referendum - has forced the group to respond to. last year to 33 Rex makes this very clear indeed and, without vocalising it, makes his people this year. own take on the situation equally obvious. Earlier this year, it was LUU's turn m host the national RAG Friday, February 2, 2007 Leeds Student www.leedsstudent.org.uk 12 Hindfection Be warier of malaria Malaria is the world's forgotten killer. With many other higher profile diseases dominating the media, malaria has been left behind with the plague and typhoid as medical relics of a backward past. The only problem is that millions of people are still dying from it. Hind Hassan investigates the inconvinient truth.

IDS and tuberculosis rightly contagious diseases because of its vec- Quinine, isolated in 1820, is still used At the crux of the malaria life cycle is through the blood to the liver, where it receive considerable amounts of tor-borne nature. meaning that it uses a today The malaria parasite was identi- the parasite plasmodium a single cell undergoes asexual multiplication into Ainternational media coverage host body- S inosqu MO to spread the para- fied in the in 1889 by Laveren, who later blood organism which exists in four dif- thousands of merozoites. This farm is with scientific and humanitarian research site responsible for the illness. Though it went on to receive the Nobel Prize in ferent species. One of the forms of the then re-released back into the blood statistics presented to us at every oppor- has been known to man since the begin- medicine for his discovery, but it wasn't plasmodium species is known as the where it is taken up by the red blood tunity yet Malaria. one of the world's ning of medical records but it is only in until 8 years later that Ronald Ross. also gametocyte which. when entering the cells, some of which undergo transfor- principal killers, has been neglected by recent years that its causes were under- a Nobel Prize Laureate, demonstrated saliva of the female mosquito (anopheks mations. splitting into a schitaint which the international community. Malaria is stood, The name itself stems from the that the vector was the mosquito. These freeborni) during a blood meal, develops erupts from the blood cell and releases responsible for the deaths a anywhere misconception that it was caused by significant discoveries lead to an accel- into a sporozite 10-18 days later. This the malaria parasite. This final stage trig. between 1.5 - 3 million people every 'maisa'- harmful swamp gas mud air eration 01'o:intro] strategy advancement. parasite can then he passed onto humans gers with symptoms of aggressive tem- year with infants at the greatest risk - Although the origins were misunder- the invention of the pesticide DDT dur- through its saliva when the mosquito perature increase. The malaria parasite causing I in 2 deaths of children under stood, treatments utilised against it were ing WWII and the hope fir global eradi- injects its neeille-like 'Whole into its can then be picked up by the mosquito, five in. Although 40 percent of all mor- surprisingly effective, the most common. cation. prey. The sporozite is then transported returning the cycle to its origins. Other talities are concentrated in sub-Saharan Africa. western regions are also mate to its evils - 300-5(X) are infected world wide with approximately 2 billion people exposed to its risks. Receiving insufficient monetary sup- port compared to AIDS and asthma. the new-age community's neglect or malaria is ironic as it's evils did not escape the prose of historical literature novelists, appearing in eight of Shakespeare's plays. One of the earliest scripts written thousands of years ago. in cuneiform on clay cloths, lays the destruction of Malar- ia at the feet of the Babylonian god of destruction and pestilence named Nergid, He is shown to he doubled winged insect - like a mosquito. In later years the natives off the east- ern shore of the Mediterranean. Cannan, enlightened the Philistines with their sto- ries of the deity Beelzebub, god of the insects. The legacy of Beelzebub" s evil reputation Continued until the early years when the Semites bestowed upon him the title -Prince of the Devils." It is also thought that Titus Caesar Vespasianus Augustus. Alexander the Great, Genghis Khan. and the famous poet Dante all died alter contracting the disease. Its role in historical battles is prominent and its importance often oserloolsed. It w as Malaria and yellow lever that prevented Napoleon from defeating the Haitian uprising in 1801. It was also said to have played a part in dissuading Genghis Khan front invading Europe and during the four year period of the American civil war malaria accounted for over 10.000 deaths with just under a million and a half contracting the illness. The list continues with 60,0()0 US soldiers dying from its effects in Africa during WWII and as recent as 2001 a further 53 died in Afghanistan. Malaria differs from many common Helpless: chidren sre frequently the **se

- Leeds Student www.leedsstudent.org.uk Friday, February 2, 2007 13 Hindfection Extra

symptoms of infection usually occur within 9 to 14 days. Plasmodium .faltl- param normally take 7 to 14 days to show symptoms while Plasmodium slim and (wale normally take 8 to l4 days (but, in some cases, can survive fOr some months in the human host) and ?tumuli= malaria, 7 to 30 days. Malarial endemics have created a heavy social burden and are currently one of the largest encumbrances in 'third world' economic development. Profes- sor of Tropical Public Health at Harvard University. Andrew Spellman, believes that Malaria is unique in the way it "iso- lates communities" as it "violates Adam Smiths' precept of freedom of movement as being essential for economic growth. It sits on the people and protects them from intruders but also denies them access to the world economy. that's probably the most important element in economic growth in Africa; that industry will not go there that foreign economic investment will not be. part of the lives of those people:* Unfortunately due to the geographical concentration of Malaria in the African and South America regions there are no considerable profits to encourage phar- maceutical businesses to invest signifi- cant amounts of money into producing anti-malarial drugs. Research is general- ly funded through charities and universi- ty studies. At a recent malaria summit in Amsterdam, held last month, participants supported a proposal by the Nobel Mite winning economist Kenneth Arrow for a global fund to be made accessible to the poor. It is hoped such a subsidy organisa- tion, the idea of which is hacked by the World Bank, will be announced by the end of the year. Paradoxically it is the World Bank that has received the largest criticism from humanitarian organisa- tions due to the large amounts of interest placed on loans to developing regions. The repayments are exceeding charitable Lethal: Don't mess with Mosquitos funds thus stifling the areas desperately in need of health and educational provi- survive and multiply despite the admin- her has steadily increased over the past of exceptional drought Sn Lanka saw a sions. Prof Spielman argues, with his istration of a drug in doses equal to or 10 years more effective compounds are Malaria endemic resulting in the deaths stipulation of the 'cycle of health and higher than those usually recommended still desperately needed to be developed of 100,000 people, and according to a wealth', that these factors need to be but within the limit of tolerance. Resis- by identifying novel chemotherapeutic new report Italy. on the front line of cli- tackled for any hope of progression tance to chloroquine began from two epi- targets. mate change, is witnessing a rise in trop- adding that "the healthier you are the centres; Columbia (South America) and One such target is the protein dilly- ical diseases such as malaria and tick- wealthier you will become. the wealthier droorotate dehydrogenase tD1-101)). borne encephalitis. There also raises the you become the healthier you become:- DHOD's significance relates to its elec- problem that not only will the effects of Universities appear to be leading the tron donating nature in an important climate-change on malaria aggravate cur- Higher tempera- way in the battle to prevent outbreaks of chemical reaction within the malaria par- rent health problems, but will also intro- such a dangerous disease. and our own Malarial asites. This has lead to its usage in vari- duce new undiscovered ones. tures, heavier educational institution is no different; the ous drug design investigations and The road to controlling and defeating school of design has recently been rainfall and endemics have developments: by creating analogues of this dreaded menace would have to awarded £360,000 from the Bill and the molecule scientists have proposed include taking into account preventative changes in cli- Melinda Gates foundation to develop a created a heavy they can inhibit the production of key methods in the three main factors precisely engineered 'net' which would social burden and molecules in humans, effectively block- involved in the process of Malarial infec- mate variability use its structure to kill the mosquito. ing the production of spurozoites. Leeds tion. humans - the hosts, the malaria par- are encouraging Unfortunately, no vaccine is currently are currently one University chemistry department boasts asites - the agent and finally the mosqui- available for malaria - prompting the of the largest a team of Doctors. Professors and post to acting as the vector. This along with insect carriers of launch of the Advanced Market Commit- graduates contributing to this particular all the other economical. social and envi- ment Initiative which provides compa- encumbrances in line of research. Using a computer aided ronmental factors makes this task appear infectious dis- nies with incentives to develop specific molecular design program. created by formidable. Although progression was ease, such as vaccines. Breakthroughs in technology `third world' eco- Leeds University staff. named SPROu T. significant during the SO's and 60's the increased funding and higher profits nomic develop- various drugs are utilised. scored. ayn- malaria control program= has in recent mosquitoes, to have also stimulated a boom in vaccine thesisexl and then sent away to the Leeds years suffered considerable set bucks and discovery and development that could ment General Infirmary medical research lab- its presence has returned with a multiply and save or improve the lives of millions of oratories for testing. Along side the vengeance. Although it was announced, people by attacking such scourges. there chemistry and development departments. only a few days ago. that the American move further still remains no comprehensive vaccine Thailand (South East Asia) in the early the immunology centre at Leeds also congress had approved $218 million to afield that is currently available Instead pre- 1960s. Since then. resistance has been runs various research projects in creating light malaria - the largest ever commit- ventative drugs must be taken continu- spreading world wide. Scientists have immune mechanisms against the sexual ted by the USA reliance on the govern- ously to reduce the risk of infection. the worked on newer anti-malarials to tackle stage of malaria and the regulation of ment Machinery for the control of such a most common of which is the prototype this problem but with minimal success. immunity of the blood stage malaria. significantly widespread pmblem would drug and the general first choice for all In a research paper by NJ White, titled Recent reports have revealed that cli- he detrimental to the cause. Concerted Cases. Chloroquine. The mode of action The treatment of Malaria. it is stated that. mate change, caused by global warming. community efforts are required to hope of chloroquine, the cheapest and least II drug resistance...continues to is further exacerbating the situation, for a diminution in cases, Frequently toxic of all anti-malarials. is still unclear increase at the current rate, malaria may Higher temperatures. heavier rainfall and referred to as a disease of the poor or a with various suggestion surrounding become untreatable in parts of Southeast changes in climate variability arc encour- disease of poverty. a better understand- conversion of toxic blood cells to no Asia by the beginning of the next mitten- aging insect carriers of infectious dis- ing of the linkages between malaria and toxic and prevention of bonding to the MUM:" Funhermore science publication ease, such as mosquitoes, to multiply and poverty is also needed In guide the parasite and preventing its effects. Nature reported in 2002 that of the 1223 move further afield- changing the distri- design of coherent and effective policies Unfortunately its over exposure has lead drugs released on the market between the bution of the vector species. This and tools to mutually undertake malaria to the plasmodia that causes malaria not years 1975 to 1996 only three of them hypothesis is proving to he true with past and poverty. the mosquito) to develop drug resistance, were anti-malarials. Although this num- and recent occurrences. After two years this is the ability of a parasite species to

14 Leeds Student www.leedsstudentorg.uk Friday, February 2, 2007 Extra Focus Tiger 'Tiger LS Extra sends 1.1ex Anderson into Thailand to visit the Tiger Temple, where man and nature coexist in the sanctuaries of a Buddhist Monastry... tigers. Buddhist respect the unity e(f rils in the Tiger Temple of 'praying cave' nearby, which the Buddah statue, 'Luang Phor Phud broad benefit as a heart of man. A Thailand. 'Wat Pa Luangta Bun monks find useful because it is cold Son', made from 80kg of gold and temple is a heart of the Buddhist." A nature and their regard of all sentient beings as reincarnates is practice 0Y on usam pan no'. can the and quiet, The monastery can only be donated by His Majesty the King of Bodhi tree was then planted to initiate 4 sound of monks chanting be reached by foot, and the nearest village Thailand himself, in 1995. It now sits the monastery. The tree is a symbol of beyond even the normal level here. II accompanied by the mar of several is Phu Mai Daeng village, three between two small hills on the Western the Lord Buddha, as he was sat under a has, in fact, acquired a reputation as al adult tigett. The isolated calm of the kilometres to the east. Buddhism is side of the monastery, in the position B,-aihi when he became enlightened on wildlife sanctuary. which, in the temple, combined with the power and very prominent in Thailand, with 95 web the most glorious view. The the full moon night in Buddhegaja, Abbot's words, -upholds the sanctity magnificence of these creatures. makes per cent of the population being donations that are of greatest. India. of compassion and kindness to all the temple unique and a place where followers. This is demonstrated by the significance, however. are those that The temple is ideal for Buddhist living creatures". A variety of animals the teachings and attitudes of villages' involvement in the monastery. were made to help establish the practice in a number of ways: it is were brought to reside at the monastery :Buddhism are evident on so many The monks visit the village regularly to monastery, in cash and land. A local secluded from the environmental and live permanently among the levels. receive food and other offerings, and landowner, Khun Duangjai Srithong, destruction brought on by the monks. Some of these include wild The temple's surroundings and the villagers help by delivering injured made the monastery's very existence encroachment of industrialisation in boar, red jungle fowl, hare, peacocks, general feel would encourage animals, and providing water daily to possible by donating the land for it to the surrounding world; it is self- deer, buffalo, cow, horses, wild goats, meditation and enlightenment in the monastery. The general Thai be built on out of good faith in 1994. sustaining and at one with nature, gibbons and, of course, tigers. This anybody. even the most bitter cynic. population's dedication to Buddhism is This was after listening to a speech by which is symbolised by the central accumulation of animals has occurred The temple is situated amidst the obvious. since all 31,200 temples in Luangta Malta Butt Yannasampanno. importance the monastery places on the without specific direction and began protected forests of the Thai-Burmese Thalia d are built and maintained famous meditation guru, explaining the tree, cave and the sunrises in when an injured wild hoar stumbled border. in Thailand's North Eastern entirely by donations. This is necessary difficulties of maintaining Buddhism in generating as much serenity and calm across the monastery in the first few Kanchanaburi province. and was built because monks are not permitted to the rapidly changing and developing as possible. It is also surrounded by months after its establishment in 1994. on the slope of the mountains, adding trade in money since Buddhism regards Thailand. The gum thus founded the vast protected forest and national parks The monks cared for the hoar and total seclusion, beautiful sunrises and it as damaging to mind and soul. The monastery in 1994 with typically which contain a variety of wildlife, released him once fully recovered. The panoramic forest views to the zen of most notable donation in the 'Tiger Buddhist good-will and selfless including panthers and gibbons, not to boar then allegedly returned the next the monks' everyday lives. There is a Temple' is the large golden jubilee purpose: "This monastery is built for a mention Thililand'c population of day followed by a family of 10 wild _ -- —7. °L • In _ELI •••••• ° ■ Clos.qt. r 101/$4.1 PS‘c°-!till•:' ^ e , • , r " 4 •

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CONCERN: A short-sighted Thai monk's moment of realisation. eeds Student www.leedsstudent.org.uk Friday, February 2, 2007 15 Focus extra

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HUGE: Big cats are the Tiger's bollocks. boars, who now live there and have female in very poor condition that the and, a week after that, border police accusations that the monks are only that they now charge a fixed admission bred over the years. Since then. other monks named 'Chao Payo'. Her patrol intercepted four female cubs and interested in the tigers for the money price to fund the existence of the animals have arrived, either injured mother was killed by poachers. who donated them to the monastery. Thus. they generate. that the admission fee is sanctuary and their plans for Atic and being delivered by the villagers or continue to hunt this beautiful and in a matter of months, 'tiger harmony' a rip-off and ridiculous suggestions creation of a 'Tiger island'. is park, rangers. or arriving by their own endangered species in the protected was achieved and a base of eight tigers that the tigers arc drugged. These expansion project is also entirely volition. The preference of these forests. The cub was sold by these was acquired. from which the streak criticisms arc short sighted and selfless: an enclosure where the species animals for living in the monastery poachers and ordered to be stuffed_ (technical name for a group of tigers) obviously underestimate the expense can live undisturbed and be viewed and rathet\sthan in the surrounding forests is Luckily, she was saved and brought to of seventeen has derived from these and effort of maintaining and feeding studied from afar, with the ultimate astoni hing and, most likely. the monastery having survived an over the years. Names are given to the the tigers (and all the other animals) or aim being to create "a place to train the something to do with the comforting injection into her neck with tigers which have a strong connection the massive profit which could be new generation of tigers to get ready in atmosphere of compassion and peace preservative formalin and having her to nature: hence. the names of the made by simply selling them at a a natural way to live in the real forest", that permeates the temple grounds. teeth filed until they bled. She could tigers currently at the monastery market price of L3,000 a piece. The according to the Abbot. The majority Nothing demonstrates the harmony not move her tongue, chew or swallow, include 'Cloud', 'Storm'. 'Sunshine'. monks invited visitors as a way to of the donations received are given of the monastery more clearly than the and she was (understandably) terrified 'Rainbow', 'Sky place', 'Wind', 'Red spread awareness about the dwindling directly to the Abbot because of his interaction between the monks and of humans. Against all the odds, horizon' and 'Sparkling star' when species and thus help counter the highly respected position in Thal tigers. There are currently seventeen however, the compassion and constant translated into English. demand for them in a society that society. It is the great power of his tigers living in the temple, eleven care of the monks helped her achieve a Every afternoon, the tigers are taken makes poaching so attractive and compassion makes this place possible, adults and six cubs. The Abbot and two full recovery and she never once down to a quarry which has a natural rewarding. There is. undoubtedly, a and while, as of August 2006. a total of monks, aged four and eight, are the attacked any of them. She became very pool for them to bathe and play in. conservational intention at the heart of 15.3m baht was still needed to make main caretakers of the tigers along with important to the monks and her death Visitors can then come and view these the monastery. All the tigers that reside the expansion envisioned. donations 15 villagers and volunteers. These in luly1999, due to bean palpitations. creatures from only a few feet away. there are victims of poaching and and tourists are bringing the monks three are assigned as caretakers was very saddening to them. The The caretakers also take the visitors in would be dead without the monks. The closer to that goal. This beautiful place because monks tend to live very Abbot buried her underneath the Bothi one by one to have their photo taken temple's purpose is in the following of has not succumbed to the forces of transient lives. coming and going as tree and a full funeral ceremony was with a tiger. As word spread of the Dharma, the Buddhist way, which capitalism and 'development', as it may they wish, and thus the other monks held. tiger temple and its receiving of teaches compassion and an acceptance appear: rather, it has toleratedg rarely stay at the monastery on a As if to console the monks for this visitors it has increased in popularity, that there is always some sort of minimizing of their isolation in the permanent basis. Many of the tigers are loss, or as an answer to their prayers, with 4,00X) local and international suffering, but acknowledging that you name of compassion and conservation. fully grown and weigh up to 180kg, two male cubs only a week old arrived tourists visiting every month now at an can minimize this through right and to sec the young caretakers bathing in the same month. They were rescued admission fee of 300 bah[ (about practice. Donations can he made to and stroking them is incredible. from poachers by locals and brought to L.5.00). Originally, the monks only asked http://www.boonheng.com The first tiger cub arrived at the the monastery. Then, in September of This recent development has invited visitors to donate whatever they monastery in February 1999. It was a that year. two more male cubs arrived. criticism of the Tiger temple, including wished, but ironically, so few donated 16 Leeds Student www.leedsstudent.org.uk Friday, February 2, 2007 Want to write for Leeds Student?

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= -7 Leeds Student www.leedsstudent.org.uk Friday, February 2, 2007 17 Comment Slander war must st

Matthew Kennard comments on the furore surroundng the Jewish Chronicle's claim that Jewish students have been gagged at Leeds University by a motion 1 passed at referendum.

The tactics of the desperate Zionist has no intrinsic definitional connection students', as it should have been. And unfortunately cheapened the term %MI. Matt Kennard groups at Leeds University continue to with Judaism or ethnic Jewry except gagging? The Jerusalem Post reported: Semitism", so that many people don't plumb new depths. Ever since the that imposed by the state itself. "Students have voiced concern that the take it seriously anymore. Many Palestinian Solidarity Group (PSG It stuns me that there was even the motion singles out the university's gullible people now have trouble won their important and moral victory need for any such motion. Motion 5 Jewish students and denies them baste differentiating between people like for free speech in Motion 5 at the should be in the constitution of every rights enjoyed by other students and Former US President Jimmy Carter and Union Referendum. Zionist lobb y democratic institution worthy of the student societies." Yet the motion was former KKK leader David Duke. Since groups and their media organs have name. It reads like the American Bill of universal so all the new rights accorded Curter released his book Palestine: been busy slandering its authors. Rights - full of boilerplate and to the PSG were equally applicable to Peace not Apartheid, he has been This concerted campaign reached a platitudes that any sane person couldn't Moir_ If they want to distribute leaflets described variously as a Nazi new low last week when The Jewish disagree with. "To ensure that all calling the Iranian President Maltmotid sympathizer, an anti-Semite, and racib Chronicle saw fit to decorate their front political societies are practicing their Ahmedinejad an 'anti-Semite' and Of course, he is none of these. He has page with a story about a benefactor freedom of speech without the fear of 'racist' they won't have to worry about been subjected to the abuse for dating who was withdrawing the offer of a being silenced for the sake of satisfying the sensitivities of his disgruntled to brook the Zionist party line on Israel. new scholarship at Leeds University. other parties with opposing political supporters on campus of they exist?). Duke, on the other hand, is worthy of The ostensible reason for Marilyn stances." it asks. Then it pleads for To its credit, the University of all these damning epithets. yet they Stowe rescinding her generous hid was sufficient security for group activities, Leeds has found the spine it lost last have been drained of their moral a video on the website of a PSG activist and warns the Jewish Society that year when it refused to drag Dr. Prank weight because of this promiscuous which had lukewarm anti-Semitic supporting the State of Israel is a Ellis through a tribunal hearing. They use. Last year. alter I wrote an article remarks. political position (which, of course, it have refused to he cowed by the about Israel, I had a disturbed young On Akram Awad's website is). How did 846 people vote against spurious victimization of the Zionist man named Jonathan Franks email (www.akramawad.coml, amongst over these absurdly self-evident requests'? groups. The universities press release calling me a "funny little anti-senute" a dozen videos about the Israel- The motion goes on to complain states: "In itself the motion adopted by and also (yes, the irony was lost on Palestine conflict, Stowe, a Leeds about occasions when the PSG has had the union does not conflict with the him) an enjoyer of "camel love". This solicitor. had taken offence at remarks to remove words like "Apartheid" and University's own values. As an is par for the course. by an American Christian evangelist "Racist" and "Zionist' from their institution of higher education, the So inevitably we arrive at last Ted Pike in his film The Other Israel. literature because it was deemed University is committed to promoting weeks Jewish Chronicle article. This The pastor had said that Jews have a "inflammatory". This chilling of free and positively encouraging free debate slander war will continue. People who "tendency" for "domination of our speech is. of course. ridiculous_ If these and enquiry," Can anyone argue with worship regimes which practice terspy society", and asked rhetorically if this terms were really that far beyond the that' Well, yes. and oppression have always been wont was the "harbinger of even greater pale we would have to ban Archbishop But JSoc and The Jewish Chronicle to forget the had stuff and romanticise Jewish control to come?" Not nice Desmond Tutu from campus who has have no right to define Jewish identity the rest.. They don't like hearing about stuff, frequently noted the similarities and tie it irrevocably to support of the the barbarism their ignorant words are But wait a second. How would between Israel and Apartheid South State of Israel_ Although Leeds supporting. But students have to make Stowe know who Akram Awad was? Africa. And while were at it. we could University JSoc appears monolithic on sure these organisations can-t ignore the You're a Leeds student. and do you? boycott Nelson Mandela who has the matter, many Jews have nothing but elephant in the room, and stop them Even if she did, why would she be talked about the "vulgar racism" in contempt for its policies and are brave slandering the activists who point it checking his website? And once there, Israel. It's just about an empirical fact: enough to speak about. However. the out. did she have time to trawl through a a recent Haifa University pall found conflation of the political movement of dozen videos before stumbling across 75% of Israeli students believe Arabs Zionism and the Jewish identity serves Email this affront to her decency? As one of are "uneducated, unclean and a tactical purpose for these ideologues_ [email protected] the "best divorce lawyers" in the land uncivilized", it's not particularly complicated: at base according to her website, you might The Jewish Chronicle went into it helps to paint any legitimate attack think - or hope - she had better things misinformation overdrive in the on Israeli policy as an attack on Jews If you would like to respond to this to be doing. Of course, she does. aftermath of the motion's success. It ran more generally . article please email: Stowe obviously knew nothing stories about Leeds University 'gagging This ideological device has been [email protected]. about Awad or anything about this Jewish students' - note: not 'Zionists utilised relentlessly by Zionists, and obscure and dunderheaded film by a Christian fundamentalist_ I'm sure Awad hasn't even watched it himself but was allured by its title (he has subsequently taken it down saying he's against all anti-Semitism). But Akram Award was (coincidentally?) the sponsor of motion 5. Stowe must have been approached by someone with this tenuous accusation of anti-Semitism in an effort cc to malign the advocates of the motion and soften up the student populace for It is this form of its counter-proposition and pressure the University of Leeds to recant. The covert subconscious whole story was completely ignorance that is manufactured, the only surprise is how obvious they made it. Why else would more dangerous, the headline to an article about this more omnipresent, famous solicitor not even mention her, and instead be "Racist video link to than the overt Leeds agitator"? ethnocentrism It's straight desperation. At rout, it is the inability of the Jewish Society to displayed by the accept a democratic vote on campus B N P. which curtails their ability to cry anti- Semitism when the PSG. and other activist groups, talk about the policies of the State of Israel. A nation which 18 Leeds Student www.leedsstudentorg.uk Friday, February 2, 2007

Muslim negativity Folk the world Morley Christmas Leeds Student shows desperation Dear Editor. Dear Editor, I just wanted to congratulate you on 0113 3801 450 As a regular reader of your paper. 1 Dear Editor. have picked up on a lot of negativity finally giving some focus to the genre "Christmas lingers throughout the of folk music far too often it drops off editorOlsweb.org.uk towards Muslims, not in a sense of year". It certainly does in Leeds Stu• the radar and fades into the shadows. racism. but of the fact that they are not dent! Quoting and in reference to last portayed in a good manner, Everything Christine Cooper's article was informa- week's article, "Have yourself a very always seems to be done in a had light. tive, well-written and defeated the Morley Christmas", I was discouraged stereotypes that ton-often attach them- Would it he possible for you to find to see our student newspaper tena- the good natured parts of Islam and put selves to folk_ ciously clinging onto the December Have a Hart them in your next article? I believe Take heed, music reviews - we want Festivities in a desperate bid to fill its every religion and every race has a more acoustic, less electric! Widen issenations are tough enough possible by challenging their views pages. right to their own beliefs. Showing the your horizons! for students to deal with. To and making them strive for success. I completely share Irian Raja's good sides of Islam would also put then have the worry of finding a Is this a case of students becoming view that keeping "the expensive spirit D things in balance. Candice Jacobs, 2nd year English Stu- topic that suits the preference of your too soft or lecturers becoming too of Christmas alive" is neither benefi- If you would like a good example of dent tutor. is merely added pressure for tough? cial nor in the true spirit of the holiday. intercultural mixing and everyone liv- some. In the real world many employers so why has he chosen to write a two ing in harmony, then come and visit University is a place where students are extremely harsh on their staff to thousand word article on Christmas Eurofoods on Alexandra Road. should he free to express their ideas ensure they get the best out of them in Failing to resolve the dinners, Christmas trees and Father and write freely. Students shouldn't he the interests of the company. perhaps Christmas'? Yours faithfully. problem spoon-fed like they were at school. but students need to be prepared for the Please try harder, Leeds Student, to there should also be the freedom to dog-eat-dog world. come up with new material for the new Zayed Rehmari explore a topic that suits their prefer- Whatever view you take on the mat- Dear Editor. year. ences. not those of the tutor whose role ter. no-one should feel bullied or I won't say you've ignored our calls. According to your 2nd page, you've is to help them with their academic uncomfortable at this important time in Yours faithfully investigations. their academic life. and the fact that got I 8 proof readers (or 'copy editors') working for you. What vexes me, then, However. it could he argued that students have been brave enough to Anthea Stuart Policing fashion is the fact that you STILL manage to Hartley. the lecturer wrapped for being voice their concerns shows some Final year Politics student miss the 100-point headline on page dismissive of certain topics. is merely courage and toughness. as they feel Dear Editor, ensuring that students get the hest mark feel unfairly treated. 1.9. 'Road to Faliure'. that introduces It's fashion's fault. Again. Reading the Al Gunn's article. paper is usually a pleasurable experi- 11 I were him I would feel slighted Corrections and ence. but this week it created YET annoyed. and if I were you 1 would feel ANOTHER SPASM OF DISTASTE. ashamed. clarifications Ethnic minorities have little interest in the world of fashion anyway, but your articles are Piers In the 'Damn those fees' article on increasingly eclectic and irrelevant to page five of the January 26 edition of the student, life. Leeds Student, it was incurreclty suffer in findings Your advice drips condescension: reported that Hind Hassan was the "Siblings: this should be the easiest Flying chair of the National Student Respect he DIES findings that black. institutional racism do exist in uni- category: they're the people you've Committee. Hind in fact resigned from and Asian students arc less versities. something which no-one grown up with after all." Wow. Thank this post at the beginning of the aca- T likely to achieve a first class rleserses, and will hopefully no you for that insight. I had yet to realize Dear Editor, demic year. degree than their white counterparts longer he associated with achieve, the fact that I'D SPENT TWENTY- is unpleasant news which will Only ment in higher education in the ONE YEARS OF MY LIFE AS A 'There's a certain degree of irony in the In the same issue, on page four, the distance ethnic groups further. future. MEMBER OF MY FAMILY. fact that your newspaper's Green Issue name of the student who died at Burley Immediate attention is drawn to These results are also dissapoint- That could be put down to the fact so harshly slammed the vice-Chancel- Park train station was mispelt, it the above finding_ however, as the ing given the multi cultural world we that Pm one of the morons who actual- lor for his flights home before, less should have read Kristophcr Mark report also found that more people live in today, and any news which ly reads your page. than a handful of issues later Alex from minority ethnic groups go onto alienates ethnic groups, or could Doorey is advertising LUU's offer of Allen. higher education than those from cause some friction is never wel- Yours. free-flights as a competition prize. white communities, Therefore its not come. It is important to remember Just hypocritical. It is the policy of the Leeds Student to correct significant errors as soon as' a problem of the numbers attending that these findings were taken from a In anger. university. rather the results it would sample group, so they should be Yours. possible. Please quote the date and page another. seem. taken with an element of caution as Matt Black (Maths' No student should feel that their they do not represent everyone. James. 1st year work is being graded based on the Anon y rnOus marking where used, colour of their skin or religious will make people feel a lot more com- fortable in the knowledge they will be beliefs. This latest news will continue Send letters to Leeds Student new spaper. Leeds Universe) t ininn, PO Box IS'2, Leeds LS1 11111. or email the editor on to make people believe that forms of graded on work content alone. ctliiurr lerdsst uderitorg. uk. Please keep comments to 24 to words. The editor reserves the right to edit letters for content oral space

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7 eeds Student www.leedsstudent.org.uk Friday, February 2, 2007 19 omments expressed here are not necessarily the views of Leeds Student Opinion Boring drug users

Phil Spooner is at it again. First it was the obese, then animal charities now it's the turn of recreational drug users.

hether recreational drugs have a suicide. le on the other hand, they do ate outsiders to the same degree as drug- feeling tempted to join in, think again. Phi Spooner positive or negative influence share your hobby then the very thought obsessives do. If I know that I am about Take a look around the room and listen to Won people is a tired, futile ques- of the conversation you two are having to meet someone who can only talk about the inane drivel pouring out of people's tion. Some people like them and some makes me want to set off a Roman Can- 19th century Russian agriculture. then I mouths. Do you really want it that badly" don't, which means there's no point try- dle into my face just to liven things up a will make an effort to learn something Spend your time with people who talk ing to establish a defunuve answer. There bit. about the subject so I can engage in a about things that are accessible to every- is, however. one universal truth when it People who define themselves by one conversation on some sort of level with one. not just the exclusive members of ; comes to those who have all-encompass- activity arc losers_ This rule applies to them, It. is not so easy tOr an outsider to their mind-numbing clique_ If you're As soon as you start to ing drug habits: they are boring people. those who can only talk about their infiltrate a group of drug users. The only going to take drugs then make sure that define yourself by your There is nothing more uninspiring than degree, football, clubbing or whatever. route in is to take the drug, and that is a you maintain interests in the real world being in the company of someone whose As soon as you classify yourself in terms much bigger commitment than typing in too. Because if you don't then you'll drug then you may as every waking moment is spent thinking of one activity that you do it's time to re• 'sickle' on Google and learning some soon become a pariah and the deeper you well replace your face or talking about their drug of choice. As evaluate your trite little life. In this sense facts about soil. plummet into your tiresmtie bubble, the with a brass etching of a soon as you start to define yourself by recreational drug users are the worst You should never have to affect the harder it will be to reintegrate into socie- your drug use then you may as well offenders of all. There is something intol- state of your central nervous system in ty. house brick and your replace your face with a brass etching of erably odious about a room full of people order to feel comfortable amongst a personality with an iron- a house brick and your personality with talking about where they bought their group of people. Everyone knows by Email: ing-board cover. an ironing-board cover. drugs, how much they paid for them, now that you should only do things that If at this moment you are thinking or what effect they're having on them and you really want to do. If that includes get- [email protected] talking about any sort of drug then I have where their next batch is coming from. In ting obsessed with drugs then by all bad news for you: if the person you're a way. the losers who can only talk about means do it, just don't alienate those peo- talking to does not share your obsession football or their ludicrously dreary cours- ple who aren't so keen. If you don't have then they are currently contemplating es are bearable, because they don't alien- that huming desire but still find yourself

Labour pains

With the domination of PR in mainstream party campaigns, Neil Mackenzie dis- cusses the need for a return to governing and real policies .

Nell Mackenzie deology has been shunned by political Policies arc formed not by the mem- ologies can evolve as times change, but laughed off as an irrelevant political elites in the relentless pursuit of eke- bers in whose name they will be put for- there is simply no point in having a party opportunist. I total gain. True, you can't change ward. They arc a product of focus groups system if any semblance of meaning is Any meaningful political change anything if you're not in power, but what from key marginal demographics. To removed from a party in order to make it always comes from below. and there are is the point of power if achieving it have an influence over Labour policy more acceptable to those outside of its increasing signs that things are shifting. means renouncing any claim to meaning? today, the last thing someone should do is traditional base. Politics is being reduced People want to be governed and not man- The Labour MP Austin Mitchell join the party and attend meetings and to gossip and headline chasing in an aged. they want a genuine choice. People summed up the basic problem of conferences. Move to the south east, attempt to woo marginal seats, and no demand limiesty and integrity. not style Blairism very well when he said. 'Blair is become a management consultant and matter how excited Andrew Marr and and personality. The grip that political the ideology. but he has none'. If getting buy a house. that's when your opinion Nick Robison try to get about it, it's just elites hold over policy and debate is elected is all that panics believe in then becomes important. not interesting, it's of no value and its being loosened by an increasingly politi- politics becomes personality, and dee- The utter contempt with which politi- just not democracy cised and frustrated electorate. Civil thms irrelevant. cal elites have treated rank and file party The British people are though show- society offers great hope for change New Labour, the Tories and the Lib members is shocking and deeply damag- ing increasing distain for this cynical, across society. Blairism has potentially The utter contempt Dems have no genuine disagreement in ing to democracy. Members are treated opportunistic and vacuous form of poli- destroyed the source of its own philoso• terms of political philosophy. Despite like an embarrassing relative: give them a tics. The short-termism and gimmickry phy and in doing so opened the way for with which political the weekly Punch & Judy show of Prime polite acknowledgement that you know of New Labour policy formulation is quite different ideas. The age of spin elites have treated Minister's Questions, there arc very few they exist and then get away from them increasingly being exposed. The NHS may be coming to an end, and when it real differences between the parties. Dis- as quickly as possible. Members only cannot be improved by announcing a does it will be better for everyone. rank and file party agreements are not the result of some ide- have value at election time when it is new management restructuring plan members is shock- ological impasse, but a dispute over their responsibility to volunteer their time every fortnight, delinquency will not be Email: departmental management and style; to stuff envelopes and knock on doors, solved. by creating a new acronym to ing and deeply dam- Blair and Cameron agree that public Political parties are not supposed to be attach to the dispossessed and excluded 1p13/arneleeds.ac.uk aging to democracy. services must be made to run along mar- simply vehicles to government. Their and you can't stop the planet from burn- ket lines, they merely differ over how role is to articulate an ideology and to ing by commissioning a new advertising best this can be achieved. The act of gov- attempt to persuade the electorate in the campaign. Moreover, people see through erning turns into passive management. validity and benefits of their beliefs. Ide- David Cameron and he is increasingly 20 Leeds Student www.leedsstudent.org.uk Friday, February 2, 2007 Milan on Ron's menu

Sporting comment

Alvan Symonds-Baig looks at the latest move of "Big Ron", and a glittering career for the Brazilian superstar

On Tuesday. AC Milan announced the Note, for example, his three goals in and laziness can often count against not to mention that he was FIFA Euro- signing of a certain Ronaldo Luis the 2006 World Cup, after being him, especially from the point of view pean Player of the Year twice, and has Nazario de Lima from Real Madrid, for roundly criticised for his physique and of the notorious disciplinarian Capello. won the World Cup (twice), the Cham- the cut-prier of around f5million. level of fitness beforehand. Not only His weight has also been seen as a pions League. World Cup golden boot, When Chariton can reject an offer of did. he score for a below-par Brazil problem, as he varies from powerfully and numerous domestic trophies. He E I 8million for Darren Bent, how can side, but his three strikes made him the- built to plain chubby. has scored goats wherever he has one of the world's most prolific and highest ever goalscorer in World Cup As Ronaldo returns to Milan, albeit played and, at his best, plays with an most decorated strikers he allowed to Finals, beating the record set by prolif- in the red of AC rather than the blue of enthusiasm and love for the game that leave for such a meagre sum? ic German. Gerd Muller. Internazionale, he has the chance to has endeared him to crowds world- Possibly, it is his age that has low- Note also his performance at Old once again show a sceptical audience rl wide. If AC Milan can help him redis- ered his market value - he is now Trafford in 2003, as his sensational why he was crowned World Player of cover that love, they will have one of approaching 30. and will probably hat-trick ensured that, despite losing on the Year three times.and was the DIEM the bargains of the season, if not of all "have five years. at the very most, left at the night. Real Madrid went through on youngest ever winner in 1996. That is Did weight problems force Ronaldo time. the top level. However, Andriy aggregate. As he was substituted late in out of Real Madrid? Photo:Googie Sheychenko, whose boots at AC he has the game, both sections of the crowd to fill, is of a similar age, and recently gave him a standing ovation, under- commanded a transfer fee of around standing they had witnessed a master at his peak. Could you score for Leeds Has 'Big Ron"s stock fallen so far Ronald° has played for Barcelona. that there are players of his age worth Real Madrid. Inter and AC Milan. PSV six times more than him? One could Eindhoven and Cm/vim in Brazil. has Student? argue that Chelsea are a special case scored 74 goals in 112 appearances for with a habit of paying inflated transfer Brazil, and, despite a succession of fees, yet there are other players in the injuries, has an overall domestic career We are looking for more sports writers to join our team

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All smiles now, but will Ronaldo hit the heights second time round in Milan? PHOTO: Google

•■••• Imam •■•••ama.m...... raw. •■.•••• same bracket as Ronald() who have record of approximately two goals been transferred for more money • his every three games. The Brarillian's Struggle across the Pennines WEDNESDAYS former team mate at the Bernabeu, pedigree is undeniable, yet, perhaps. gm BUSA RESULTS 300 Seconds in sport Ruud Van Nistelrooy. for one. years of unbridled success, followed 'Flying the flag' •••11,..• it I • ••••• ••• • It is true that Ronaldo has had a tor- by a lean period for Real and Brazil, •■•••.I■LFI • %•—•-•.11-" rid time recently at Real Madrid, seem- have dulled his appetite for the game. "7. =la

ingly out of favour with new manager, However, it is his appetite for ..•••■1 ■■ p.m..... • • •• • Fabio Carlin and, despite the expen- excess that troubles coaches. Ronaldo •NI • •••• .101. Marl Mal 44 1.1•M•adl /I sively assembled and star-studded has always been something of the party wirel• I side's profligacy in front of goal animal, regularly attending Carnivals Comeback kings .r.o recently, he has barely played, Howev- hack in Brazil and throwing lavish •••■• ••••11 • MAR= :7-7=7 1=7" .1■0, ha.* a er, with his habit of defying critics, it is house parties for teammates and 1••••••••• •••■•■ _------always dangerous in write off Ronaldo, friends. His perceived poor altitude ••••11■Im • ■•11.484 • .1.•■••01 ••••• ■II a Your Shout: Will Ronaldo world class every now and there =I" I .171. Five star Tykes win again 1. prove to be a bargain or a waste of MGM [;color Oat reports on teed* Tykes' latest victory over Coventry Owe IT • WASP 11 money? Rich from Wycombe: 'It's great I. value for money compared to Drew from London: "He's a proven recent deals like Ashley Young, • • • Theo Walcott and all that kind of goalscorer and should be able to Women's hockey firsts lose out yet again to Met rivals get back to his best" nonsense" z",-VES.6 Sim from Wycombe: "Five million 1. 1 Matthew from Within : "He's too =1= old to succeed. He's too slow as is a bargain. He's got a good Few well." years left in him yet. And Ashley Young is quality" Joe from Bognor: "Five million is .14714r:- good value. You'll get a bit of tp Leeds Student www.leedsstudent.org.uk Friday, February 2, 2007 21 Sport 300 Seconds in sport 'Holmesy'

By M chae N les

11I- That's got to be Aaron Shelley. He LS- And your most dedicated man? going into the pitches; teams try to play is awesome and should he playing for IH - There's a few for this. Phil Wain- nice passing football but it's nearly the first team_ He would rather be part wright is fully corm-lined and did us a impossible to play on them. With top-up of a team he feels a part of so plays for website. Keeper Chris Evans. Ste Cross- fees, they should put more money "Me, I'm a soft and sen- us, but 1 reckon the firsts know he is man and Andre Flanders all give 100% towards making students feel part of the sitive soul. People good enough. The best player in Leeds and, even if they arc on the bench, they Uni. who've played against Uni, if you ask me. don't complain and always turn up. LS - Do you guys get good support at me will testify to that" LS. OK, sa, who's the team clown? LS- Win, is the hard man? games? 1H- Erm. we've got a few characters in 11E1- Tom Brown. Pound for pound. the 11-1 - Not as much as we would like. I Ian Holmes the squad. Both out wingers are known toughest man in Leeds Uni. think the Uni as a whole should support Captain of Ex-Charlie Mo for their playboy lifestyles. Yeah, our LS- And flu. wimp? intramural more. The website, radio and wide-boys are known for that. III- I'd say it's gotta be me. I'm a soft, newspaper never mention it: no scores LS- Morning, Ian. So, what's this about LS- Who, in your expert opinion, is the sensitive soul. People that have played or anything. I think if it got more cover- your team being the best in Uni? longest in the shower.? against me in the league will testify to age, it would get the interest and sup- IH Well, we arc semester one champi- 111- That would be Rickards. He's cur- this port it deserves. ons from the Wednesday league. then rently injured. I've got nothing else to LS- limm, I'm sure. In your team, who LS - What has Er-Charlie Mo got lined we beat the Saturday league winners. say on that. is the biggest womaniser? up for the future? We're now one game away From repre- LS- Who's the laziest? IH - Robbie Cross. He manages to chat- IH • Well, we have a European tour senting Leeds Uni against the. Met intra- IH- Tom Kilrainc. He's the laziest per- up every girl in the nightclub without coming up. We're going to universities mural winners. son that I have ever met_ He got into Uni moving from the same spot all night. in Latvia. Finland and Estonia to play IS-So, what's the standard like? by purposely contracting mumps. Hon LS- OK, the pitches at Weetwood come the top intramural teams at unis there. III-It's quite good, you know. It is estly, these are the kinds of people under criticism. What is your take on We've booked the tickets and are much better this year and there's a few we're dealing with here. the situation? arranging the games. Again. though. good players in the league. not just in LS- He sounds like a character. Who's 111- Yeah, they're not -great, arc they? we've had no support from the Uni, our team. In past years it was just the quickest player you've. got? think Patrick Craig. who runs the intra- unfortunately I did enquire, but they between the Business School and Chris- IH -Key Houson. Unfortunately, he mural, does a great job with what he's said there were no funds available. tian Union but now it's open for about can't kick a football, but he looks like got, but I don't think he gets the support That is a shame. Good luck, though. four teams to win. he should be good. He's a last-ten- he needs. The pitch we played on on and let us know how you get on. Thanks minute man, one of ray many tactical Wednesday was like it had been for doing 300 Seconds. IS- So who is your best player for Ex- What you looking at? ploughed. More money needs to he iH - You're welcome Charlie Mo? ploys. Mist aryl Was

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Urban Lifestyle ✓ Friendly People ✓ Student Living ✓ In great locations On hand to help With your friends 22 Leeds Student www.leedsstudentorg.uk Friday, February 2, 2007 Sport Good week League leaders beaten

The home side were pegged back Men's Football Leeds 1st 4 - 1 York St Johns on 15 minutes as 'keeper Draper Men's Hockey clattered a York striker just inside The boys ventured up By Joseph Hibbert the area. Draper was yellow carded to the North East last and punished further as St Johns' Wednesday and number eight slotted the ball home . clinched the BUSA BUSA League leaders York St Johns from the penalty spot. Premier North league visited Weetwood this week and Uni didn't let their heads drop. as title with a 3-2 were out fought. out thought. and out they fought on and won another free victory. All this was played by Yorkshire rivals Leeds. It kick which Sexton whipped into the done with a game to was boys versus men stuff as Leeds box causing trouble for the visiting spin-e controlled the game throughout defence before they eventually This was a feisty encounter right cleared. from the off, with the home side On the half hour mark Uni taking the lead just three minutes redressed the balance as York's NM% into the game. Striker Ben Lucas shot goalkeeper followed Draper's Three out of from 20-yards out finding the bottom example by felling Leeds' number 11 teams won 1 left hand corner, sneaking the hall inside the box. He was duly yellow- Yorkshire de passed the flailing York stopper. carded before Sexton beat him from Leeds were unrelenting as minutes the spot to make it 2.1 to Leeds. York St Johns look to get the bail moving this week with Wet PHOTO: Chastos StavrOu victories over York later, captain Roy Sandeman won a The home side were constantly clear in defence to stop York getting and one ever free kick at the edge of the York area looking to feed striker Lewis of the pitch. Uni's Roy Sandeman a foot hack into the game. Ben Lucas Sheffield Hallam, but right-winger Richard Sexton Minnett, who had the measure of the was winning the battle against put the final nail in the coffin Only the sea, aids could only find the wall. slow York defence. Left-back Chris York's captain. number 10. who was minutes before the final whistle with tom, going dove to Nunn flicked the hall forward to a flamboyant ringer for David a bizarre goal. Lucas slide tackled York Isis_ Minnett in the York area, but the Beckham. striker couldn't get hold of the hall On 55 minutes Uni were awarded the hapless York keeper, and then and York cleared for a corner. another penalty as a York defender slid the ball into the back of the Uni's dominance continued, with handled the ball. This time Sexton empty net from the edge of the area. York's midfield struggling to gel into skied the ball over the bar and onto Uni manager Ian Birch summed 's Fencing the game, testament to this came as the waterlogged Wectwnod pitches up the game following the victory, "It was a quality performance local centre back Ibbi Abou tartish walked below. throughout. The big pitch helped us, hours through the middle of the park before York were revved up by this. ersfield an finding Minnett who rounded the winning a free kick on the edge of it's better than the usual pitch we me drubbing keeper and slotted the ball into the the area. The York captain lined the use, and it allowed us to be mare a 135-50 victory. back of the net At 3-L Leeds were free kick up in the manner of creative. We kept the ball for the of derby wins for laughing. Beckham but ultimately struck the final ten minutes and we wore them down." ni this week. The second half contained the hall over the bar, York by to halt a Leeds attack most entertaining clash of the game Sandeman was hooked for a foul PHOTO: Christos Stavrou as the captains clashed in the middle on halfway before Aboutarash had to WEDNESDAY'S Rugby rout BUSA RESULTS Netball Defeat this week to dive over the line to ensure a try for her- Ladies Rugby self. means that they Lancaster 5 - 34 Leeds Uni have to beat arch Leeds continued to endeavour as a Men's Badminton I 3 Women's Hockey IV 0 resilient team attacking with fantastic runs. rivals Leeds Met to By Laura Mackay %%Central Lancashire I 5 v. Huddersfield 1 8 aviod the dreaded passing and offloading in the tackle. This reit agation. persistent effort resulted in a superb icr% for Ellyn Clost ref acting her ability and physi- Men's Basketball I 85 Netball m 32 Leeds ladies rugby team comfortably came cal strength. With half-time !tanning Allum v.Mancliester I 70 v. Huddersfield 1 30 out on top in their trip across the Pennines burst through the Lancaster line and popped on Wednesday heating Lancaster ladies 34- the ball to Sarah White who dodged and 5. battled her way to the try line. Men's Fencing 135 Women's Rugby League 34 Many freshers were given the chance to She converted the try leaving the score v.Huddersfield 50 v. Nottingham Trent 1 6 star. especially among die forward posi- at 29-0. Leeds took a more than adequate tions, as well as experienced hooker/flanker Men's lead into the second half with the added Men's Football 1 4 Women's Rugby league II Jen All um finding herself at outside centre encouragement that they had played one of Badminton and inside centre Becky Parkin moving up v. York St. Johns v. Durham I A hard fought 5-3 the hat halves of their season. to flyhalf replacing the injured captain walkover to Durham defeia against A sombre start to the second half saw Laura Mackay, Central Lancashire both teams looking fatigued and Leeds Men's Football H It did not take long for this new-look lacking in the slick manoeuvres which had Mans that they v.York I 5 team to gel as a strong unit and an early kick preceded. A lack Of amcentration from the boys just didn't have from Parkin forced the Lancaster team far Leeds defensive line allowed the Lancaster 1t very good week. hack into their own half. This was followed captain to break through on her own 22 and Men's Football M 3 -=----11` Not an especially by some quick and efficient rucking by v.Shetlicld Hallam 1 bed one run the length of the pitch to score their first WINS: 8 Leeds and good breakthrough runs from and only try. forwards Laura Deeming and Lotti Sills The mediocre play continued through- Men's Football IV 2 before the ball reached Jordan Dixon on the out the majority of the second half until woman's Hockey wing who ran in for the try. ,.•.York St. John IV LOSSES: 5 No victories for the Leeds eventually found their old fount and This early optimistic start was shortly fol- put on the pressure with only a few minutes girls this week. The lowed by a storming run from the halfway Women's Football I I sus lost 2-0 to to go until the end of the match. Attempts 5 line by Allum. handing off opponents as were made from half a dozen Leeds players v. Chester 1 0 DRAWS: 1 Loughborough and she went and securing the second try of the the 4ths lost to forte their way across the line until an match. She then converted her own try. opening came for Parkin who rounded off convincingly. 8-0, to At 12-0 down Lancaster began their Women's Hockey 1 0 Huddersfield. The an impressive personal perfomiance with game. putting pressure on the visitors in the the last try and significant action of the v. Loughborough I 2nds and 3rds maul. A few difficult minutes passed as aeachother and drew game_ Leeds defended their vulnerable line. 1-1. A bad week all round Leeds face their biggest game of the sea- Women's Hockey H Parkin surmounted the prmsure with a solid son next Wednesday playing Sheffield in v. Leeds Uni Hockey Ili I kick to the halfway line. Leeds worked hard home (Weetwoixla A win could mean a big Bad week to attack Lancaster in their halt and forced a step umards promotion and a place in the penalty close to the touch line which scrum playoffs for the National Cup. half Aymara Blanco took quickly enough •

Leeds Student www.leedsstudent.org.uk Friday, February 2, 2007 23 Sport •

Good week English Cricket A large dose nt deja vu as England's Showdown cricketers have not Coach- Brian Ashton 1 Coach- Eddie O'Sulliwn Coach- Gareth Jenkins only had another had Captain• Phil Vickery Captain- Brian O'Driscoll Captain- Stephen Jones week but have It's a new-look England learn 614 Under the leadership Things haven't rim surpassed allish RolSbY that barely resembles that Captain Brian O'Driseoll, smoothly for Wales since The tong awaited themselves. English which faced South Africa last Ireland have developed into 'I' their 2005 Gland Slam cricket has reached new low as tht retum of Johnny rt4GLANO liteLM klAlL1 RuGln. autumn. Ex-Rughy League ray. u..-11.1 the undisputed faint team of glory. Their 2006 batsmen only r 110 against wiljonson as well us star Andy Farrell is set to the championship. They are blessed with campaign was wrought Australia and thiiit bowlers concede the cle hut of former make his debut, combining with in form an array of talent all around the park. In with difficulties which culminated in the nearly 320 against. Ng* Zealand. Things Rugby League star Mike Tindall to form a centre Paul O'Connell they isossess possibly the resignation of former head coach Mike can only get bettm Andy Farrell mean combination Which will certainly give best lock forward on the planet and Denis Ruddock. The Welsh lack the strength in there are high hopes opposition defences something to think Leamy leads an frish hack now which is depth to challenge for titles and will have for Brian Ashton's new look England about_ However it is the return of world truly formidable. The key to defeating this to conamtrate on cementing a mid-table ahead of the opening weekend of the Six . Wigan cup hero Johnny Wilkinson which will no Irish side is to dominate up from in order finish. On their day could cause problems ,\. A 42 midweek Nations. doubt be the talk of the tournament's to put O'Gara on the backfooi, easier said but are vulnerable away front home. defeat to Reading was opening weekend. Prediction: 3rd Place the done. Predietkin: 1st Place Prediction: 4th Place the Lades' eighth defeat in a row. Roger and Serena ... _ signalling the worst It was all smiles as By Charlie Pdadonnon ■'CH Pitkfel, AINIMMIMMIUM ltil run in the history of Roger Pedeter wins Satitiuday 3rd Felts any 11the club. Jewell Mg be hoping that his another Grand Slam. •a.107 RBS Six Nations Championship January signings can make a difference. this time without even Italy v France is seen as the warm-up for the Rugby England v Scotland The most notable being Nigerian striker dropping a set. and World Cup in France tiler this year. But Julius Agahow; i Serena Williams Sunday 4th Fel:wary norms hack from this tournament is set to be one of the most competitive encounters for years. Wales v Ireland injury and wins the Lidfiwhilst ranked Sim in the world. Coach- Pierre Berbizier Coach- Bernard Laporte Coach- Frank !ladder' SPurs Captain- Marco Bortoiami Captain- Fabian Pelops Captain- Chris Paterson Mann Jol's men once again lost to Matthew Upson Italy have managed to win FranCV are T10101-litheily Scotland progressed their North London An initial six million quid has taken only three games since their unpredictable and have significantly in the 2006 rivals Arsenal. but the dodgy defender inclusion in to the often failed to live-up to competition with FFR this time in a cam from Birmingham championship in MX/ their lofty exptsaations. outstanding victories over semi final. They to West Ham. Top Regardless, the Anurri have improved Look out for the experience of winger France and Englund. However. injuries to also reportedly flight forty was consistently year upon year and it is only Christophe Dominici. Sale Sharks star key players have left a side which will missed out on Mr, probably what a maner of time helium they claim the Sebastien Chabot, as well as the veteran struggle to compete with the world's best. deadline day swayed hint but scalp of one of the big nations. In Marro hooker Raphael Ilatuiez. He was the only They're most hurt by the loss of their swoops for both Giles Barnes of Derby with the brummies Bortolami, Way possess one of the most northern hemisphere hooker to do his fair captain. Jason White. Avoiding the utilising promotion accomplished lock forwards in Europe share at the breakdown situation in wooden spoon relies in no small measure and Southamptines.Gareth Bale. mud the Hammers and lines up behind Martin November. Grand Slam glory is by no upon the shoulders of newly appointed struggling. Man may live to regret his Castrogiovanni and Carlos Nieto. 2007 means beyond their reach. Prediction: Captain, fullback and designated goal- move to Upson Park could be their brcakthough year. 2nd Place kicker. Chris Paterson. Prediction: 6th Prediction: 5th Place Bad week

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By Ed Dallimore game following the Christmas break would of offence plays min down on the Leeds 1w- frame of Arkie bossing the midfield. a attack and a hopeful pass across the 16 settle the league. defence . and when Gary Rielly was pole- championship win was still on the cards found its way somewhat luckily into the Things did not start entirely to plan. and axed in his own D. a defence-offence was despite the scareline. On 22 minutes. Leeds path of the Newcastle striker. via a Martin The men's hockey team have clinched the -Leeds were up against it from the first surely imminent To everyone's surmise. attacked with pace down the rightflank and Oguli spin and kick deflection routine. The BMA Premier North league title with a minute, hi form rradfielders Peter.Encil and the whistle bearer signalled a corner. from after VIC Appleton passed cleverly into the forward again made no mistake -in the °w- game to spare hillowing a 3-2 . idory wcr Paul (imobba were both sidelined. due to a which the Newcastle seven unleashed their defending font_ play wits restarted with a on-one. and Leeds found dientsclves 2-1 Newcastle. personality clash and a cut finger respective- dead-lock lin lock.er, who calmly beat penalty corner. fmni which Johannes Isliciess down at the half time interval. The first team ventured north to Newcas- 11, ;aid after a long trip. the Leeds side Chapman in the Loads goal. one-on-one, to swept the hail into the net. Al the restart. Leeds came out of the rtle on Wednesday in the know ledge- that a looked wear) .111d the home side started the put Newcastle ahead. However, after another prorn i sing attack traps like a champion greyhound on Red victory. and all three points. in their first stronger. 'Me fast 15 rninnics saw a-haurage Leeds reacted well, and with the mown- broke down. Newcastle started a counter- Bull, and foreed the home side into the self halfretmat tie-up un several early octEsions. Soon Appleton wan another corner re-start. it was then left to Dan Mills to much down and release the power sweep, this time onto the deflect stick shot of Arkle. who levelled up the centre sheet by going medium on the elevation into the home score hag. Leeds were now involved in a war, the result of which would make or bleak their season. and as the two teams eround onwards, 1..ivds.seemcd to be clawing the advantage away from Newcastle. '