Cariad Lloyd, Luke Toulson, Aisling Bea, Jarred Christmas, Joe Lycett NEED to GET YOUR MESSAGE out at the FRINGE FESTIVAL?

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FEATURING Sean Hughes, Sarah Kendall, Cariad Lloyd, Luke Toulson, Aisling Bea, Jarred Christmas, Joe Lycett NEED TO GET YOUR MESSAGE OUT AT THE FRINGE FESTIVAL?

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Welcome to WUWO Magazine’s Edinburgh WUWO magazine Contributors Festival Comedy Takeover edition. - WUWO Media

WUWO Magazine is a free publication distributed monthly in the south of England. We hear Editor in Chief you ask yourselves: “How does a magazine from down south find its way to Scotland?” - Steven Godwin The answer is simple: comedy. Cariad Lloyd - 20 Editor - Laura Hester Being able to have a laugh stems right from the heart of our publication and all of us at WUWO Magazine are driven to promote comic drama in every way we can. After all, laughter sees us Editorial through all those ups and downs, left and rights, ins and outs, and so forth, of everyday life. - Aisling Bea Swaying from the format of our usual monthly editions of the magazine, we have invited a - Jacob Burns diverse variety of funny people, all of whom are performing at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe - Jarred Christmas this year, to contribute to this month’s publication. - Matthew Elcock - Cariad Lloyd We hope you enjoy this special edition of WUWO Magazine, dedicated to all you Fringe goers - Joe Lycett and packed full of helpful tips and funny bits, both informative and useful as well as amusing. - Luke Toulson - Maria Martinez Ugartechea Luke Toulson - 14 Design - Andrew Brown Now, meet the cast: - Nita Saroglou Photography - Graeme Copper - Steve Ullathorne - Maria Martinez Ugartechea

Jarred Christmas - 06 Contact To get in contact about editorial requests [email protected]

To get in contact for advertising requests Sarah Kendall - 32 07961 99 4000

WUWO magazine is published monthly by WUWO publishing. We try and make sure all our information is correct but details may be subject to change. Any physical submissions are sent at the owners risk and we will accept Sean Hughes - 24 no responsibility for loss or damage. Nothing printed in WUWO Magazine can be copied or republished without our written permission.

Food - 40 Joe Lycett - 18 Aisling Bea - 10

For more go to wuwomagazine.com 6 JARRED CHRISTMAS FESTIVAL SURVIVAL GUIDE 7

3. COMFORTABLE SHOES WITH GOOD ANKLE SUPPORT Edinburgh has loads of cobblestones.

4. DON’T SEE TOO MANY SHOWS IN ONE DAY I know you want to cram as much in as possible, but you will get show fatigue. If it’s 9.30pm and you are entering your seventh show of the day, you will be exhausted, laughed out, punch drunk and a bloody useless member of the audience. Pace yourself, plan time for meals and keep your fluids up. I don’t want anyone passing out in my show again because they hadn’t had time to eat all day because they had so many shows to see. The Edinburgh Fringe is a massive beast. 2,695 shows in 279 venues spread across I found this out later, but during the show I had the great city of Edinburgh. Those figures alone are enough to send your senses a false ego boost when I thought she laughed so into a spin. Daunting is the word, daunting. Some people will feel intimidated by much she forgot to breathe. the sheer size of the Fringe. Don’t be, plough into it and have an adventure. Be 5. USE THE FLYERS FOR GOOD NOT EVIL careful though, the Fringe beast could swallow you up. If you are handed a flyer, look at it. If you like what you see keep it and go to that show. If you don’t like it, DO NOT Here are my tips for survival follow the path of Evil and throw said flyer to the ground. Littering is bad karma. Save the flyer and make a cloak 1. THE 7 P’S time you saw Daniel Kitson do yet another master class of out of all the s****y flyers you are handed. If you are a show or the time you saw a one man play about ‘Survival in town for more than one day, you will have several PROPER PREPARATION AND PLANNING at sea in a rubber dinghy’* where the guy sat in a rubber cloaks. Then you can form some sort of weird cult PREVENTS PISS POOR PRE-BOOKINGS dinghy pouring salt water over himself and performing and save money on the uniforms. There are so many shows. The best way to pick yoga. It’s you, him and 10 people. By the end, it’s just you and get the full spectrum is go through the 6. USE THE TOILET BEFORE ENTERING and him. This is a show I have seen (the performer stopped A SHOW Fringe guide with a couple of bottles of wine. and asked me to leave, as everyone else had). *Title has Early on you select the ones you have heard of been changed to protect myself from a yoga ninja attack. Nothing annoys a performer or the rest of the and like, but as you get drunker, that’s when the audience more than you getting up mid show interesting picks come into play. 2. BE PREPARED FOR EXTREME CLIMATE CHANGES and distracting everyone as you push and nudge your way out to piss, then do the same coming “Hey I wonder what ‘The Zombie Mermaids of Take a small rucksack containing a bottle of water, a change back in. Also everyone will know if you have done Valhalla’ is about?” or “I think the Shawshank of t-shirt, condoms and a jacket (possibly a chocolate bar a wee or a poo, which can be socially embarrassing Redemption has been crying out for a dance depending on whether you are dieting or not; your call). because a comedian will always comment on that. adaptation.” Don’t hesitate, drunkenly Edinburgh weather is unpredictable, but the Another is if you are watching Albuquerque State BOOK THEM. temperature in most of the venues High School’s production of ‘Hamlet the Opera’ is predictable. It will be and you go for a piss. Chances are you are the entire uncomfortably hot audience. Those poor American school kids will have at times. to pause the show and wait for you to get back… if you

Hey I wonder what The Zombie Mermaids of Valhalla is about? ... don’t hesitate, to drunkenly book them

go back that is. Or the worse situation would be: you go for a poo, they pause the show, but because you take so The Fringe is your only Especially evening shows that are the eighth show in a row in that converted broom closet. You will laugh and Jarred Christmas long, they start packing up. You then re-enter the chance to see and discover amazing shows by room and everyone just stares at each other… people you don’t know, as well as see some truly sweat in equal measures. You will then be spit out into possibly rainy or subzero temperatures, even though Show: Let’s Go MoFo for ages. weird and awful things that make you wonder it’s meant to be summer. why someone thought people would want to Where: Gilded Balloon Teviot So, in conclusion, good luck, see it. Is there no better awkward feeling than Change your t-shirt, put on your jacket and then happy hunting and I you won’t catch a chill. If it truly is lovely weather sitting in an audience where you are the only hope you enjoy the one? Awkward for you but I bet the performer then sit outside, let the sweat dry and then go see Time: 9.30 pm would be delighted that you came along. another show, sweat some more, and so on, until shows you pick. you have a triple filtered sweaty shirt. That’s Dates: 1 – 26 Aug I wonder which experience would become one when its time to party and get some pussy/ of your best anecdotes at a dinner party. The cock (use the condoms at this point).

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‘Technology paves the way for a stress free YELP! day’, so they say, although we’re not 100% Yelp provides a search sure about that at times, BUT there are a service that covers myriad of apps in existence out there that everything from locating PUSH OUR provide us with extra assistance that aids a pubs, restaurants, cafés, variety of situations. shops and lots more in the specified vicinity. If, like us, you plan on rocking up at this years It also delivers the added ability to read reviews from the local community as well festivities from out of town, then wandering as submitting your own findings too. Within through the maze of streets that harbour all a matter of seconds, it can even track down the fun can be quite daunting. your nearest public loo in case that curry caught you off guard! Well, guess what?! BUTTONS HOPSTOP For all you keen festie goers who plan to brave the public transport There’s system over the luxury of your own cars, this app is a must. Especially for any out of towners. Hopstop will get you to your desired location, be it by train, an app bus, bike, taxi, foot or rental car. Simply enter your start location and final destination and receive a list of all known forms of transport to get you to where you need to go! And for all you taxi snobs out there, you can for that! also find out how much your intolerance for public buses is going to cost you. Travel smart!

WUWO Magazine takes a look at five apps that aim to make life easier at this years Edinburgh Festival Fringe.

Mixology The Adobe A pint of lager Weather Photoshop not quite cutting it? Then tap Channel Express into this app to Let’s not forget Weary of the facebook.com/whatsupwhatson quench your where we live. Instagram thirst with one of the 7,000 plus We are all too familiar with the craze? Switch things up a notch and cocktails Mixology has to offer. weather taking unexpected turns document the festival fun with for the worse, and let’s face it, several Adobe’s Photoshop Express app. Play youtube.com/whatsupwhatson If times are hard, see what booze festivals have already fallen prey to around and touch up those photos with you can scavenge within your direct Mother Nature’s obvious distaste for a catalogue of funky filters that tweak proximity, input the ingredients our little island. The Weather Channel and personalise photography into a into this nifty digitool and bam! app might just forecast the necessity piece of digital art! within seconds, behold a list of tasty to embark on a last minute mission concoctions to prepare. Or, if you’re watch comedy clips on to stock up on some emergency near an offy and aren’t short a few waterproofs. quid, simply browse and track down our youtube channel something appealing and go all out, umbrellas and all.

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DO DON’T

KILL BIRDS WITH STONES KISS A COMEDIAN Guys, it’s a METAPHOR for doing more than one thing Comedians do their job because of a deep inner at once. Do NOT literally go throwing stones at inno- sadness. The Edinburgh Festival is designed to cent sparrows or some poor Mary Magdalene figure. expose this inner sadness and this is the WORST No. I mean that you won’t be able to see all of the time to swoop. If you are hanging around the venue acts you want to, so go see ensemble shows like where their show is on, put a cardigan over your “I’m a Spank! BBC Presents, Storytellers Club OR the PLAY really secure happy person” T-shirt and avoid eye that I’M in; THE INTERVENTION that has Phil Nichol, contact. Once they get your heart, they grab onto it like a Jan Ravens, Waen Shepard and many more in it. barnacle and never let go. And it will never really be (The Assembly Rooms, 54 George Street, Edinburgh, about you. EH2 2LR) WEAR A KILT EAT POTATOES Unless you are an old American man whose family is As an Irish woman I’m always constantly aware actually of Scaddish origin. of where the nearest supply of potatoes are just in case there’s another surprise famine. While in HECKLE IF YOU ARE ACTUALLY Edinburgh, you may get swept away by good times and cider and forget to eat properly. Go healthy. The FUNNY Baked Potato Shop on Cockburn Street has the finest Hecklers are born, not made. Please don’t abuse the carbohydrates you’ll ever put in your mouth. They’ll age old practice by shouting out something funny line your belly and you can put the leftovers in your during a gig. Heckling is an art form performed by pockets to keep your trousers warm. natural eejits and only they can know exactly how to ruin a punch line by shouting a perfect “Show us KISS A COMEDIAN your tits” or “It’s Greg’s birthday!”. Hecklers have paid good money to go into those gigs and not listen and If funny turns you on, then the streets of Edinburgh shout out things they think of. Show some respect. are paved with comedy gold. “Oh Aisling, an exalted COMEDIAN would NEVER go for a lowly Joe Public, like ME”, THINK AGAIN my campadre! Comedians PRETEND YOU’RE BLIND WHEN do their job because of a deep inner sadness. The STREET PERFORMERS GET THEIR festival is designed to expose this inner sadness, HAT OUT. which makes it the PERFECT time to swoop. Hang “Whaaat? I didn’t see a thing! Where’s my dog gone?” around the venue where your target’s show is on, put a If you stopped and watched, then you’ve entered cardigan over your ‘Comedy is my Rock’n’Roll’ into an ancient contract. No one is asking for paper T-shirt and go for it. But BEWARE, it will cost you. dollars, just a few coppers as a high five for them Up to one whole drink. If you buy a comedian one JOE PUBLIC’S sticking a knife down their throat to entertain your whole drink of alcohol, there is a 100-100% chance child/ moany other half. EDINBURGH FESTIVAL that you are about to pull. GET ANNOYED BY FLYER-ERSES. DOS AND DON’TS. GO SEE SOMEONE WHO IS ABOUT It’s Edinburgh. There are thousands of acts trying to TO BE AND KIND OF IS BUT ISN’T sell you their show. Many good. Many bad. All with TOTALLY OFF THE TELLY…YET flyers. Take one, shove it in your bag/pocket/mouth, bring it home, recycle/ burn it and be glad that you The bigger acts from TV go on tour all the time. were never allowed to have a middle class dream and Edinburgh is the perfect opportunity to see that you have a real job. people you may not have heard of. Take a risk with your pennies. See some up and coming talent. They need your laughter more, so you’ll leave pumped with the power of having helped the little guy. In four years WUWO MAGAZINE you’ll be able to say “I saw them before they were Aisling Bea involved in that celebrity scandal”. Some of my faves are INVITES AISLING TO Celia Pacquola, Ford & Akram, Humphrey Ker, Son- Show: The Intervention ya Kelly, Sara Pascoe, McNeil and Pamphilon, Cariad SPRINKLE HER WISDOM Lloyd, Thom Tuck, Dan Wright, Rachel Ann Stubbings Where: The Assembly Rooms & Lou Sanders. ON WHAT TO DO, AND Time: 7.05pm WHAT NOT TO DO, AT Dates: 1-26 Aug excluding 13 THIS YEAR’S COMEDY FESTIVITIES. For more go to wuwomagazine.com For more go to wuwomagazine.com COMPETITION 13 Discovering the NEXT David Mitchell

WUWO Magazine team up with Dell & ChannelFlip to present a £10,000 competition for our readers to discover the NEXT David Mitchell!

Creators of David Mitchell’s hugely popular ‘Soapbox’ series, ChannelFlip, have teamed up with returning show sponsor Dell to launch ‘Comedy Spots’, a competition designed to find the ‘next David Mitchell’. The winner gets a year’s development deal plus £10,000 cash.

The competition invites budding comic talents to visit www.comedyspots.tv and upload their own comedy video in a style of their choice. The videos will all be available for public viewing and spectators will be encouraged to vote for their favourite piece. The competition closes on Friday 5th October.

The finalists will be made up of the top five videos as voted by the public online along with a further five contestants hand-picked by David Mitchell himself.

All 10 finalists will be invited to participate in the London final. They will introduce their video to a panel of judges made up of industry experts, including Mitchell who will announce the winner on the night.

Scan you smartphone here to be directed to the competitions website.

For more go to wuwomagazine.com 14 PAGE TITLE LUKE TOULSON 15

The 10 quickest ways to lose an argument with your girlfriend

At times, even in the most functional of relationships, we get in trouble with our other halves. Luke Toulson gives WUWO Magazine readers an insight into why it is men who tend to fail in the argument arena.

Being wrong Doing it in public Because of the remarkable debating skills of Whether it’s in a restaurant or on the street, if the adult female, even if you have the backing of the you argue in public, the man never looks good. And scientific community and a sworn affidavit from a High it’s very difficult to win an argument when you’ve lost Court judge, the chances of you winning an argument the moral high ground. with your girlfriend are slim. If you are wrong, they are zero. Lying It may get you out of your current scrape, but Any mention of an ex for some reason, which I may have once known, Imagine your girlfriend mentioning a previous but have since forgotten, men don’t have the mental boyfriend’s sexual prowess. This is how any mention faculty to remember anything from the past apart of an ex-girlfriend sounds to her. Name-check an ex from who England got knocked out by in previous in a positive light during an argument, and you will World Cups. So there is absolutely no chance of you discover that when it comes to plates, the widely held remembering the nonsense you made up to cover belief that women can’t throw, is a myth. your past misdemeanour, therefore it is only a matter of time before you contradict yourself. So while she Being drunk may not be able to rattle off Germany, Portugal, Brazil, To win an argument with a girlfriend, you need Argentina, Italy… your girlfriend will remember that to be at the very top of your game. I have lost count you said you were with David, not Darren, on the 26th of the number of arguments that due to intoxication, March 1997. right in the middle of them, I’ve clean forgotten the subject of the argument, let alone my position on it. On Not listening more than one occasion I have found myself arguing An ex-girlfriend said something to me about this against myself, while my girlfriend just puts her feet up. once. I’m not sure what. Though I remember she had lovely breasts. Wanting to have sex with your girlfriend Criticising her parents Evolutionary-Biologists might have a clearer They may be the cause of her crippled self- understanding of why, but for some reason, mid- esteem, and she may routinely criticize them herself, argument, girlfriends become irresistibly attractive. but you will unleash the forces of hell if you so much And if history has taught us anything, there is little a as suggest they have a case to answer for. man won’t sacrifice to get his end away. Throwing an argument in search of this goal wouldn’t even register Admit defeat as a defeat. Maybe you are right, but think for a moment. This woman lets you have sex with her Not being able to hold the silences on a fairly regular basis. She puts up with your Silences are a key part of the female argument lazy, smelly ways (ask yourself, would you like to strategy. Despite knowing nothing of cricket, if a live with a man?), so what does it matter who’s girlfriend senses defeat, she will shut up shop and right and who’s wrong? Doesn’t she deserve Luke Toulson play for a draw. To face off this silent onslaught, it your support and to be told how amazing she is? is vital that you are psychologically prepared. With To be honest, you would have lost the argument Show: Luke Who’s Talking silences, you need to be thinking in terms of weeks anyway, so why not lose it with some grace. and months, not minutes and hours. Where: Underbelly, Cowgate

Time: 9:05pm

Dates: 2 – 26 Aug

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18 JOE LYCETT’S GUIDE TO HANDLING HECKLERS JOE LYCETT’S GUIDE TO HANDLING HECKLERS 19

Joe Lycett’s guide to handling hecklers

At some point in a comedian’s career, he or she will have to confront a heckler. This often instils abject fear in newer acts, terrified at the prospect of their fragile set being derailed by a well timed shout out from the audience. But for acts with a little more experience, it is more akin to having to swat a fly or kill a cat - it’s irritating and distracting but you know you can do it. For those newbies who may be panicking at the thought of a heckler, here are my seven (a lucky number) top tips for tackling one.

1. Understand that they are probably drunk and stupid 95% of people would never shout out at a show unless the comedian was clearly in danger from a loose light fitting or a small fire had broken out behind them. The other 5% are either drunk or stupid or both. This gives you an advantage (unless you are drunk or stupid). 2. Imagine the audience are all naked Because there is no greater put down to a heckle than a raging erection. It is also supposed to help with confidence or something. 3. Say something sexual about their mother/father I don’t know about you but if someone reminds me that my parents are capable of sex in any way it shuts me up for at least half an hour, the silence only broken by some quiet weeping. 4. Be yourself Sometimes comedians use stock put downs to stop a heckler, but it’s always much funnier and excit- ing for everyone if you just allow your mind to wander. Often the funniest thing is the first thing you think of. For example, the first thing I just thought of is a dog dressed as a mermaid. 5. Treat them like a naughty toddler All the tips and tricks you would use to stop a child from misbehaving can be used on a heckler. Joe Lycett Naughty step, send them to their room, smack them on the arse - do whatever feels appropriate. Brib- ing them with chocolate can sometimes help too. Show: Some Lycett Hot 6. Call security Many comedy clubs have security who will kick out particularly disruptive audience members. Where: Pleasance Courtyard There’s little more satisfying than seeing an attention seeking drunk dragged out of a comedy club for daring to shout out during your set. They ruined your set, you ruin their night! Time: 8.30 pm 7. If all else fails, fire a gun Dates: 1-26 Aug excluding 13 No one is going to tell you to get off the stage if you’ve just fired a gun.

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Andrew’s guide to surviving Edin-brrrr Andrew is a seven-year-old stand-up and host of children’s educational show, “Learn with Andrew, Learn with Andrew, everyone’s having fun when they’re learning with Andrew!”

You may recognise him. He’s been on ‘Children In And you will always need your coat. No matter how Need’ five times, but they never put him at the front, sunny it is, or how much you think it feels warm, you as they always put Sally Dickens at the front, as she’s will need your coat. Bring your coat. in a wheelchair even though she can’t sing a top C You will see some girls wearing shorts and flip-flops (Andrew’s words). like they’re at Latitude, but they are young and have Andrew will be performing in The Freewheelin’ low self-esteem. If you see them, buy them a coat. And Cariad Lloyd at The Pleasance Courtyard at 16:45 tell them it’ll get better past 25. You think. every day (except the 14th). Cariad (Edinburgh There are so many shows to see, so go see all your Comedy Awards shortlist for best newcomer) will be friends shows first so you don’t feel guilty when you his guardian in Edinburgh, but he has told his mum see them, or perfect the phrase, “I’m coming on my he’s at chess camp, so if you see her in Waitrose please day off” which in performer language means “I don’t don’t let her know. know you well enough to be forced to sit through your show when I am so stressed I want to cry”. They will Over to Andrew: understand and respect you for this. “I have been to Edin-brr many times, it is always nice Go and see people you like, but also go and see free and full of people painting their faces and dancing shows, as there are loads of good people doing free and miming, no matter how much you tell them to shows, and just because they are free, doesn’t mean stop. My favourite bit of the Edin-brr festival is the they are bad. beginning, then the middle, then the end. My new Daddy, Colin (I’m not allowed to call him The beginning is good because there are no posters up Daddy or look him in the eye) says you only get what yet and no one has had no bad reviews so everyone is you pay for, which is why he pays ladies to call him on nice to each other and no one does a head tilt and says, the big computer. He pays loads, so they must be really “I thought your show was great, what do they know!” friendly and good, although he is always shouting at when they bump into you, which is nice. them. The first thing you should do is head to the Royal Mile, If you do go to a free show, be on time, and don’t leave so called because the first settlers spelt Royal Mail half way through. Free shows are not to keep you wrong, and there used to be loads of post offices all warm and dry; they’re for brilliant performers trying down it, till they privatised everything. to save money. If you want to keep warm and dry please see earlier note about the Games Workshop. The Royal Mile is like a giant Fringe guide you don’t have to flick through. Save your poor hands from Mainly make sure you are in bed after you’ve watched turning pages and walk down the Mile while everyone The One Show, unless you have to do a show, in which shouts at you about their shows. case, make sure you go home straight after, most people do, there will be no one out past midnight, People like it if you take their flyers and then straight everyone will have all spent a lot of money on their away throw them on the ground. This is a funny joke, Edin-brr shows, so they will want to be well rested for especially when they have paid for the flyers from all the next day. their temping work, and now they can’t eat as they bought extra glossy ones by mistake. Funny! Eat at least one warm meal a week (the Well, Hung Cariad Lloyd & Tender burger doesn’t count) and try to spend a The best thing about the Royal Mile, is there is a few moments every day looking around you at all the Show: Freewheelin’ Cariad Lloyd Games Workshop on it, and if you are tired and don’t amazing people and all the creativity and think how know how to speak to people anymore because you lucky you are to be there. feel all small, then you can go in there, and as long as Where: Pleasance Courtyard you’re not a girl or with a girlfriend they will be very If that doesn’t work, go and see a play about the kind to you. It is like a Samaritans for people who are forthcoming apocalypse, and cry silently through it, Time: 4.45pm well-informed about History. And also warm. you’ll feel better afterwards. I’ve been Andrew! Bye! ” Dates: 1-27 Aug excluding 14 Edin-brr is called Edin-brr because no matter how much you think it is August it will feel like March.

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CHECK OUT WUWO MAGAZINE ONLINE NOW 24 PAGE TITLE SEAN HUGHES 25

WUWO magazine has a chat with Sean Hughes about reality TV, gorillas, music, what makes him laugh and a whole bunch ? of other banter. WUWO Magazine: Did you always If you had three wishes what dream of stand-up and acting would they be? or did you harbour dreams of another career when I would wish that the whole concept of growing up? wishes was true, and I wouldn’t need any more than that. Then you could wish away. Sean Hughes: I knew from the age of 14 that I was going to be a You realise you have stand-up so I was always training unexpected downtime How does and driven towards that. I never thought of Sean Hughes relax? doing anything else. I may watch a DVD or something. I don’t In your opinion, how has the really go out that much, or if I have a week industry changed? or more I might go trekking with gorillas in Africa. I have done it before in Rwanda. Now there is a lot of stand-up on television That’s what I would like to do if I was really with a lot of people getting into it because having some downtime. I find gorillas they want to be on television, whereas fascinating. when I started, it was just to be a stand up comedian. Would you keep one as a pet? You must have travelled a lot. No, I believe they should be allowed to run What countries or cultures free. I’m quite into animal rights so I don’t stick in your mind? believe in zoos or eating meat or the like.

I always loved, from the early days as well, Do you think that the latest Australia. Melbourne has got a good comedy political/banking crisis has, festival, so a lot of people tend to visit there fatally undermined people s as well as Edinburgh and it has a kind of faith in the government and community of travelling comics that all go financial industry? there. I think Melbourne is probably the nicest No I don’t think it has because it goes from for me. one thing to another and I find it a real , annoyance that people are very willing to What s your view of the current talk about it, and won’t shut up about it, but glut of reality TV shows? really won’t do anything about it. And I think I do sometimes watch them. I used to like that is bad. Police enquiries are absolutely Big Brother because it’s just observing futile, too expensive, not cost effective and people’s lives, which is kind of what you create very little change. I’m afraid that if do when you do comedy. I used to like that anything is going to change there has to be element of it, but it soon gets quite tiring. I a proper revolution and that is not going to like it when it’s not just wannabes wanting happen. to be on telly. We shouldn’t live in a society where we What about regional accent print our own money. We make our own based TV shows such as economies and yet there are still a lot of Desperate Scousewives, Geordie people starving in the world. That just goes Shores and The Only Way to prove that our system doesn’t work. is Essex?

I don’t really watch those and have no I find it very odd that bankers get bonuses. interest in them. I think there has definitely We’ve got ourselves into a ridiculous situation been a cultural change in a sense that a lot of where we live in an economy that favours the people seem to be able to get on telly with no rich and there are still people starving. To talent. It is what it is and you can’t ever deny me that is morally wrong and I can’t really popularity really. do anything about it. We live in a corrupt SEAN HUGHES society so what is the point of shouting about little things.

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What shows make you laugh? You also write poetry. Did growing up in Dublin mean you ‘Friends’ makes me laugh and I find the were influenced by the likes of things based on reality make me laugh but I James Joyce? don’t mean reality shows. For instance, there are bits on ‘Mad Men’ and ‘Dexter’ that make No, I wasn’t influenced by him but I admired me laugh out loud and get some good bits of what he did. I’m not his biggest fan. I did dialogue. Then for comedy, something like like Beckett, but Seamus Heaney and Paul ‘Modern Family’ is always very funny. Durcan were influences. Having said that, if you ever wanted to ask anybody to read one Who is your favourite book of poetry, I suggest you always start character in Modern Family? with Ted Hughes’ ‘Birthday Letters’. Pretty much all of them, but if I have to pick Were you really in a Terrorvision one it would be the elderly father (Jay). video?

You won the Perrier award Yeah, I was. I did ‘Tequila’ [the video] with in 1992. What did such a them. I kind of knew them a little bit so I did prestigious accolade mean to it as a favour, so it was a bit of fun. you and your career? Coronation Street is one of I think people put more importance on the the biggest shows in British awards than I do. It just so happens that I TV history and still adored was at the show that year and it was nice by millions. Did you feel to get the award but those kinds of things the pressure? The fans are don’t really matter too much to me. I am notoriously outspoken in the very flattered to receive awards but don’t streets. necessarily agree with them. It was a job and was a really weird one We will soon be focusing an because it was one of those where people entire edition on the Edinburgh, recognize you all the time, which is horrible. Festival Fringe. What s it But I was really glad I did it because it was like being part of such a my mum’s favourite programme. It did freak huge festival of comedy, her out a bit seeing her son in it. It was quite arts, theatre and street sweet to do it just so she could see me in it. performances? Who was the biggest diva I love being at the festivals. I’ve been going up there for years so I always feel part of it. on set? Although, I haven’t been for a while, so it It was pretty much a team effort, so, no one feels like I am coming home in many senses. really struck me as a diva. , You are on a desert island. What s next for Sean Hughes What three albums would you and where can people come to take with you and why? see you around the UK?

One of them would always be Julian Cope I will be at the Edinburgh Festival for all of (he used to be in a band called ‘The Teardrop August and then I am touring around the Explodes’) because he has a song for every country in various venues from September mood. Then Morrissey, as he would be quite till the winter. The show is called ‘Life good to listen to if you are on your own. For Becomes Noises’. hope, a Polish conductor called Henryk Górecki’s, 3rd symphony because it’s just Sean is performing ‘Life Becomes Noises’ at beautiful. the Pleasance Courtyard 5.30pm, from 1-27 August excluding 8 & 14. You were born in London but moved to Dublin. What was that like and how did you handle the transition? Sean Hughes I had no choice on that because that was the way my parents went. Even though I was Show: Stands Up born in London, I have always considered myself Irish and never English. It just so Where: Gilded Balloon Teviot happened, geographically, that I was born in London. My parents are Irish. Time: 8.15pm

Dates: 1 -27 Aug excluding 8 & 14

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MEET SARAH KENDALL Although moderately unsure if she’s being a delusional maniac, Sarah Kendall reveals that she is feeling surprisingly good about the 26 days she will be performing her show at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe.

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Life has the ability to arm any talented comedian with the ammunition required to concoct an amusing and thought provoking performance. In Sarah Kendall’s case, the comedic weaponry gained for the content of this years show be the difference between a bad day and an: manifested from the past five years raising her daughter. In that time, she became aware ‘Ohhhh actually I can cope now!’ Also, City and appalled at how much mainstream society prays on the female form. This new found Café is a great hang out. Good food and you awareness of exploitation sends Sarah Kendall marching on a comic campaign trail that can shoot some pool and have a couple of guarantees an entertaining act. beers. I also love Chocolate Soup and then going around to all the festival bars. Now, let’s meet Sarah Kendall, an Australian from Newcastle who arrived in the UK in 2000 after already being a regular face on the Aussie comedy circuit. She caught the comedy bug WUWO MAGAZINE: Do you have and started her career performing at the ‘Comedy Lunchtime Hour’ at her university… any hot tips about a new comedian to look out for at Edinburgh Festival?

SARAH KENDALL: ...don’t even get me started SARAH KENDALL: SARAH KENDALL: I did a preview with Liquid Lunch! That on the advert breaks on the I worked on the club Daniel Simonsen. He’s Norwegian and has was a very friendly circuit till about Nickelodeon channel that worked in the UK for a couple of years. warm environment eight months into my I don’t know if he would be considered to start comedy, with try and coach all little girls pregnancy. It’s kind normal in Norway, but his Norwegian-ness your friends getting into becoming princesses. of weird; shows when adds this extra quirk. I don’t know if it’s his drunk and everyone I was pregnant didn’t accent but he has a very definite voice which knows each other. I got into it that way. go as well but didn’t go badly. If people don’t is really hard to nail. He’s good! Then I started writing for someone in radio like your show they’re not going to be mean and then more stand-up. I dropped out of and go ‘f**k off you’re s**t’ because your WUWO MAGAZINE: How long did my degree. I was studying an art degree pregnant, and at the same time they don’t it take you to find your voice? and majoring in English Literature. I didn’t laugh as much because they’re all thinking: SARAH KENDALL: Longer than Daniel. know what I wanted to do or where I was ‘is she going to go into labour any second?’ I wasn’t one of those people who within going, and just thought I would do this It creates a weird atmosphere and every the first year was like: ‘Yer I f****n’ got it!’ (comedy) until something else came along. pregnant woman in comedy I have spoken I think it took me about five or six years, but I was very attracted to stand-up. I really to says the same. Nina Conti and Shappi any professional would agree that it’s a ten enjoyed having a microphone and the space Khorsandi all agree that when you walk out year apprenticeship. After about five years I to myself. With stand-up I have time to on stage and are that pregnant, part of the started to go: ‘Aaahhh that’s me, this is what collect myself and put the joke together and audience just think: ‘oh f**k oh s**t.’ I really I do’, but around the ten year mark you’re enjoy occupying the space on stage. don’t know why, but that’s the way it is. more self contained. It’s like everything as WUWO MAGAZINE: How did a WUWO MAGAZINE: A show a day you get older, that’s the trade off. You don’t comedian from Australia come over to for 26 days in Edinburgh – is that tiring? look as hot as you used to look but on the the UK in the first place? other hand, you do feel better about yourself SARAH KENDALL: I use to think it was and you’re not dependant on other people SARAH KENDALL: I met an English tiring, then came to the realisation that saying things you want to hear. man, so I moved over to be with him. everything is easier if you don’t drink. The I thought this probably won’t last - nothing only reason I used to feel tired was because WUWO MAGAZINE: Moving away ever did up until that point – but we’re still I was out most nights after the show. I wasn’t from comedy, what music are you together. It was a bit of a punt, but I was getting smashed but just used to go out. I listening to right now? at that age! The bag I brought over here just did the Melbourne festival as well as SARAH KENDALL: The music I just was tiny and I thought if we broke up that Adelaide, Brisbane and Melbourne. I went downloaded was an album by an Australian I would just go home. I had an agent who to bed early and didn’t drink. I went out band, Augie March. I like Lady Hawke, she’s was representing me and booking me though and had fun and by the end of the good. But generally I like a bit of cock rock gigs and stuff, so I wasn’t broke and had festival, I felt like I could do it all again. Back to be honest with you. I like - it’s not just work. And that’s how I got onto the UK in the day I thought: ‘Man this is the most because I’m Australian - but I am a very big comedy circuit. tiring job in the world.’ But once you have a fan of ACDC. A big test would be what’s on child, you really know what tiredness is! WUWO MAGAZINE: What sort of my i-Pod right now! gigs were you getting at that stage? WUWO MAGAZINE: You have WUWO MAGAZINE: Ok, so give us performed and visited Edinburgh SARAH KENDALL: When I first got here your top five most recently played on Festival six times, which means you I was doing all the open mic nights. As many your i-Pod? must be very familiar with the city. as I could in any place that would have me. Any tips for our readers on good places SARAH KENDALL: I am kind of nervous When I got here I realised that the comedy Sarah Kendall to go and eat? now. So, most recently played – this is so industry was huge, and that you’re really weird. Ok – ‘Back in Black’, ACDC, ‘Baby playing with the big boys, so I wanted to get SARAH KENDALL: Monster Mash Show: Get Up, Stand Up I’m Yours’, Barbara Louis – do you know as good as I possibly could. (now called Mums Great Comfort Foods) it’s a really old sweet 1950’s ballad (Sarah sausage and mash. Red meat sausage, pork Pleasance Courtyard WUWO MAGAZINE: In the run up then starts singing to us and she is actually Where: sausages, mix it up with your parsley mash to having a daughter, whilst pregnant, quite good, but don’t give up the comedy!), or garlic mash; get your onion or beef gravy were you still on stage or did you slow ‘Here Comes the Sun’, The Beatles, ‘Because’, Time: 8.30 pm - it’s just the best, heartiest meal. I think I down at all? The Beatles and ‘You Never Give Me Your might have been hungover every time I have Money‘, The Beatles. That’s because I just Dates: 1 – 27 Aug excluding 13 eaten there. A meal like that can actually listened to Abbey Road.

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WIN Fringe Things 2,695The number of shows this year

6% Rise on last year In 2009

37%of shows had their world premiere The 2011 Fringe 1,877,119 tickets sold for

41,689 performances of

2,542 shows in 258 CHECK OUT WUWO MAGAZINE ONLINE NOW venues over

25 days

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If you have any doubts over WUWO Magazine’s idea of funny, then rest assured that you can fully rely on our ‘comedy takeover’ writers to have a good knowledge of who’s who in the comedy world. On this basis, they have carefully crafted a timetable that reveals a variety of comedy gems in store for you this year at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe.

Got a smart phone? If so scan the codes below to watch video Comedian Venue & time of Dates footage of this come- peformance dian Daniel Simonsen Pleasance Court Yard 1st-27th excluding the 7.00pm 13th and 20th

Celia Pacquola Gilded Balloon Teviot 1st-27th excluding the 7.00pm 14th

Ford & Akram Pleasance Court Yard 1st-27th excluding the 3.15pm 13th

Humphrey Ker Pleasance Dome 7th – 14th 11:10pm

Sara Pascoe Assembly George 1st-27th excluding the Square 9:15pm 14th

McNeil and Pam- Pleasance Courtyard 1st-27th excluding the philon 4:30pm 14th

Thom Tuck Pleasance Dome 1st-27th excluding the 8:10pm 12th

Dan Wright Gilded Balloon Teviot 1st-27th excluding the 9:30pm 13th

Rachel Ann Stubbings Underbelly, Bristo 1st-27th excluding the Square 3:00pm 14th Daniel Simonsen Pleasance Court Yard 7.00pm Lou Sanders Pleasance Court Yard 1st-26th excluding the 1st-27th excluding the 13th and 20th 9:30pm 15th

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Discovering local flavours and dishes is one of the many pleasures of travelling. During the festival it’s easy to focus solely on the vast array of shows and performances, and Jenna Austin Zander Perston Age 22 Age 28 yes, it is, BUT! The Fringe also provides the opportunity to Occupation Retail assistant Occupation Retail indulge in some tasty Edinburgh-style dining. Best food venue in Edinburgh? Gusto - George St Best food venue in Edinburgh? Mal Brasserie - Tower Pl Best Scottish dish? Mince and tatties Best Scottish dish? Haddock, chips, salt & brown sauce Like all cosmopolitan cities, Edinburgh is rammed with Favourite fast food? Daddios pizza takeaway Favourite fast food? Chinese in Albert Street restaurants offering cuisines from around the globe. Eating out is a big part of life. The city’s geographical advantage of bordering lush countryside and the sea, guarantees a wide selection of delicious, quality and fresh produce. The real star of Edinburgh’s culinary culture is the seafood, and it’s as fresh as it gets. And for all you carnivores, quality Angus beef can be bought at a relatively lower price than the other parts of the country. From famed Scottish salmon to exquisite scallops, Edinburgh has it all, even opting for the late night munchies and the familiar; fish and chips. Just don’t forget the ‘salt n’ sauce’! Stephen Heap Fatima Naji Age 24 Age 20 Occupation City Office worker Occupation Assistant Manager Best food venue in Edinburgh? Taste of Italy - Elm Row Best food venue in Edinburgh? Pomegranate -Antigua St Best Scottish dish? Roasted Rabbit with root vegetables Best Scottish dish? Mince and tatties Favourite fast food? Chinese Favourite fast food? PizzaHut

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Black and white chequered floor, people dancing to the beat of the music, electric neon lights, an alcohol licence, flyers and photographs pasted across the walls; anyone would think I’m describing a nightclub. Instead I’m talking about Café Piccante. Keeping the clubbers clubbing, it’s perfect for a late night munch as it serves the widest range of food to be found in Edinburgh at 3am.

Haydar Yildirim, 43, the co-owner of this Haydar relays: “Many girls have come here and flashed 13-year-old chippy, demonstrates how to make a deep- us, and even some boys have stripped off their clothes fried Mars bar whilst filling me in on Cafe Piccante’s and all we can do is laugh. But we’ve also had rude fame: “We’ve been interviewed many times by customers, in the worst cases we have had to ask the magazines, newspapers and even TV stations, British security guys from the neighbouring clubs or the police and international. People from many places such as for help. People get out of hand, but is not very often.” Germany, Croatia, France, and Argentina have come According to Haydar, they owe their popularity to here. I think it’s good for Edinburgh’s advertising.” 3 all the newspapers and magazines who always write He informs me that up to 500 people can pile into Café positive things about Café Piccante. He says the Metro Piccante on a weekend night and about 30% of those are wrote that they were the N˚1 kebab shop, and a quick regular customers. Haydar says: “Five out of 10 tourists glance on the internet confirms this along with just 5 ask for a fried Mars bar and many people come here to how much people really love it. check out the atmosphere. We used to have a live DJ From fruits and salads, to pies, deep fried black pudding playing on weekends but somebody complained and or haggis, their menu has it all. Although their pizzas the council stopped us.” and fish are a popular choice, Haydar reveals that The council might have stopped the live DJ, but music their best sellers are the chips, served with everything continues to play at all times and punters turn up to and anything including, the most popular, cheese carry on the party. Over the years Haydar has witnessed and sauce. many a funny thing at Café Piccante: “People come He says: “In London or Glasgow or anywhere else, here on a very high and positive energy after parting people ask for salt and vinegar but in Edinburgh and clubbing. Most arrive smiling and seem happy people always ask for salt and sauce with their chips. which I like. It’s late night work but it’s a happy job.” It’s typical of Edinburgh.” “Some people take lots of photos or just start dancing Perhaps that explains how Selim Sener, Haydar’s and singing with some even getting up on the tables business partner, broke the Guinness world record 4 and dancing on them. We join in sometimes and have for the most portions of chips wrapped in a minute. fun with the customers. There’s a great atmosphere and Wrapping 10 portions in one minute, yep, there is no when we finish the team chills out together with a beer.” doubt that he has a lot of experience in the chip arena! They’re not short of drunken customers due to the fact Café Piccante is a must for anyone visiting Edinburgh. WUWO Magazine’s step by step that they close as late as the nightclubs that surround It can be found on 19 Broughton Street, at the top of them; 2am on weekdays, 3am on weekends and 5am guide to battering your Mars bars Leith walk. during the festival.

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WUWO Magazine has investigated and done the “We get a lot of stag groups,” Katie continues: “Once WUWO Magazine’s Award For... homework for you. We hit the streets in Edinburgh a guy, probably the best man, broke the record and and quizzed the locals to vote their city’s best ate five Grunters. He had meat sweats but his friends hangover grub. And the award goes to… OINK! were cheering him on and he finished them in about an hour.” According to residents, the best rescue from the inevitable hangover is one of Oink’s freshly carved Alex also says: “Somebody from a hen party tried to ‘delicious Scottish hog roasts.’ buy the head because they wanted to wear it. I love meeting the customers, they’re always very funny and WUWO Magazine meets up with the team at try to say puns like: ‘I’m going to pig out’ or ‘I’m going Oink’s cosy venue on 34 Victoria Street, just up the to go the whole hog’.” Grassmarket, to sample the hog and witness the whole roasted beast in the window for herself. I am also told of how people are always taking photos of the pig and that some people just stare at it. They also Fringe As I enter the quirky black and pink shop I am greeted say that people ask them if it is chicken or haggis, and Best by Katie Dudgeon, 24; Alex Pate, 22; Andy Tait, 23. Katie that once, a drunken man actually asked: “Is that tuna?” and Andy call themselves “slaves of the pig” as they hangover have been working at Oink for several years. Alex does One day, David Hasselhoff was spotted passing by. All occasional shifts, but Andy tells me that she cannot be watched while he stopped and stared at the lying hog for grub a “slave of the pig” because she’s the “boss’s daughter”. a couple of minutes before carrying on along his way. I ask what a typical weekend at the Oink is like. Katie Andy says: “We think that Mark Foster, the Olympic responds: “On Sunday mornings, people always ask swimmer, is the most famous person that has eaten for the crackling and an Irn-Bru with their roll and here. Our pork is so good that it converts vegetarians. that sorts them out. Some people come when they’re Once a guy and a girl came in and the girl was still drunk.” vegetarian. We persuaded her to try the pork and after tasting it she said: ‘I’m cured!’ and she eats pork now.” During the August festivals, Edinburgh transforms pretty much into a There are three different roll sizes. The Piglet is the 24 hour city. With clubs closing around 5am and shows starting again as smallest, the Oink is the medium and the most popular, Adam Marshall and Sandy Pate are the two farmers early as 8am, there is little time for rest. For this reason, festival goers are the biggest one, is the Grunter, which can hold around who started selling their Scottish hog rolls at the 250 grams of pork. All are served with a choice of sage Edinburgh Farmers Market in 2001. As the business often on the lookout for a place to slay their hangovers, refuel and battle and onion, chilli relish, haggis or apple sauce as well as grew they opened Oink in 2008 and they also do lots on through the festivities. the option of a slab of crispy crackling to top it all off. of outside catering. The pigs are from Adam’s farm on the Scottish borders and are cooked slowly overnight. Whilst in Edinburgh, in the event you’re feeling those hangover hunger pangs, get on down there and dig into one of these porky delights. Find Oink at 34 Victoria Street, Grassmarket, Edinburgh, EH1 2JW Follow them on Twitter @OinkEdinburgh or visit www.oinkhogroast.co.uk

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Attention seafood lovers! Head down to Mussel Inn on 61-65 Rose Street and be spoilt for mollusc choice. Oysters, scallops, and seven flavours of rope grown mussels are just a few of your options. And if that’s all a bit slippery for you, then go for an Aberdeen Angus burger or a veggie Thai broth instead! Red Box Noodle bar

Ever heard the phrase: ‘When in Rome, do as the Romans do?’ Well, when in Edinburgh, eat what the Scottish do. The city harbours Need to find a place for a quick bite without breaking the bank? Then visit Red Box Noodle bar at 53 W countless Scottish restaurants but there is one that particularly stands Nicolson Street. With a similar format to Subway, out. Based in an excellent location, with an enviable cuisine, unbeatable pick from a selection of fresh ingredients and get ‘em whipped and sizzled up into the stir-fried noodles of prices and over 200 different malt whiskies, The Albanach (197 High your choice – all from £5.30! Street) is not to be missed. Decorated with rustic wooden Then there is the haggis, as a Save room for dessert! Indulge floors and castle like stone walls, starter or as a main, served with yourself with a Cranachan, made Viva Mexico Gusto, (Italian) there is a choice of seating either ‘neeps and tatties’ and highland with fresh whipped cream, a blend in the busier bar area or the oat cakes. When it’s ordered of whisky, raspberries, honey, and quieter diners only space at the as a main, this delicious dish sprinkled off with toasted oats and back. It’s location, slap bang on is accompanied by a smooth, a serving of shortbread on the side. the Royal Mile, is a winner to whiskey cream sauce. A true Scottish delight. attract customers, although it’s the delectable array of tasty dishes that keep the locals coming back.

The Scottish beef stew and dumplings are a must; cooked slowly in beer gravy and root vegetables, to create an extremely tender meat.

Who doesn’t like a good Mexican? You don’t? Featuring an impressive decor and with service to Wait until you have tried Viva Mexico’s cuisine, match, Gusto is an Italian restaurant located on 135 41 Cockburn Street. Forget the typical dishes; order George Street. Enjoy an ample selection of cocktails, the Chipotle chicken or the tamarind king prawns, along with our favourite dishes at this stylish and you will have had an authentic Mexican cooking establishment – pancetta, avocado and scallop salad experience. Oh, and leave space for their homemade for starters and for mains, the wild mushroom and chocolate chilli cheesecake… it’s very, very good. truffle oil risotto. Top it all off with a hot portion of sticky toffee pudding and a dollop vanilla ice cream.

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