Narcissism Brothers and Sisters, St. Augustine of Hippo, Whose Feast We

Hagelin 22C 1

Brothers and Sisters,

St. Augustine of Hippo, whose feast we celebrated on Wednesday, once said: “If you should ask me what are the ways of God, I would tell you that the first is humility, the second is humility, and the third is humility. Not that there are no other precepts to give, but if humility does not precede all that we do, our efforts are fruitless.” Today’s readings highlight humility. There is only one small problem: all of us are narcissists – the vice that directly opposes humility. Prone to self-absorption, egoism, vanity – capital “N” narcissists.

About a decade ago, author David Foster Wallace gave Kenyon College graduates what is safe to say is NOW widely considered the best college commencement speech ever given. He reflects on our narcissism – in part – in the following:

Everything in my own immediate experience supports my deep belief that I am the absolute center of the universe; the realest, most vivid and important person in existence. We rarely think about this sort of natural, basic self-centeredness because it’s so socially repulsive. But it’s pretty much the same for all of us. It is our default setting, hard-wired into our boards at birth. Think about it: there is no experience you have had that you are not the absolute center of. The world as you experience it is there in front of YOU or behind YOU, to the left or right of YOU, on YOUR TV or YOUR monitor. And so on… It’s essential to do the work of somehow altering or getting free of my natural, hard-wired default setting which is to be deeply and literally self-centered and to see and interpret everything through this lens of self.

Wallace pegs narcissism as the most problematic characteristic of human existence, elaborates why it’s a problem, and begins to hint at a solution. His solution is not ultimately a promising one; it’s more like damage control. But D.F.W. was an agnostic, speaking to graduates of a very secular liberal arts college.

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There is greater hope for us as Christians. You see, the central mystery of Christianity is grace. Not self-help or damage control. In this case, Christianity instructs that outside of Christ we accomplish nothing of enduring value, and certainly no real healing and integration occurs by our own efforts. And regarding narcissism: this is fortunate, because trying to fix ourselves would be another form of narcissism.

II. What is humility?

Let’s then define humility since it is the antidote to narcissism and is what both Sirach and Jesus exhort us to today. Humility is misunderstood. Humility IS NOT:

 putting ourselves down OR  minimizing our gifts  (both those are sins)….

Humility, RATHER, is knowing oneself to be a beloved child of God – and responding in gratitude with a willingness to do the Father’s will. And then to recognize everything as grace, and not taking credit for anything good we do, or expecting “return” for it except God’s greater glory. Humility is a noble and powerful virtue. This begins to shed light on the Gospel’s meaning.

III. Place at Table

One read-through of today’s Gospel, might cause one to object that Jesus encourages a type of narcissism in today’s Gospel: calling attention to oneself and receiving honor. But notice: we heard NOT “Jesus gave this instruction” but “He told a parable to those who have been invited...” A parable, remember, is not actually about worldly matters (be it farming, shepherding, banquets, coins, talents, landowning, mustard seeds, pearls of great price, unjust judges, hidden treasures, vineyards, etc.). A parable is about the spiritual world.

With that in mind, Jesus uses “taking the lowest place” to demonstrate a spiritual attitude. That attitude is this: we should assume that we are not very far along the spiritual journey, are still beginners and have made very little progress. Thus, any attitude of “I know better” in Hagelin 22C 3 matters of Faith or spirituality, or being wise in our own estimation, is dangerous. We should assume as Paul did when he wrote to St. Timothy: “Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners. Of these I am the foremost.”1 Yes, Paul is saying he is the worst sinner. Now, although Paul regards himself as the worst sinner he does NOT fall into false humility and, therefore, say he should not be working to spread the Gospel and build the Church. He is tireless and incredibly effective. So too, just because we assume we are beginners, we are still equipped to bring Jesus to others.

Back to Jesus’ parable, we aim for heaven – of course – getting into the feast, but beyond that we should presume that – should we enter in – we will be at the lowest place. Jesus is warning about spiritual or moral pride.

IV. Evangelization

Jesus then goes on to teach one final lesson in telling the host not to invite those who can pay him back. And here it is unclear if it is a practical instruction OR a parable. I think it’s both. It is BOTH a parable with a spiritual meaning, and a practical instruction.

I need not belabor the practical application because you get it: we are to give without counting the cost, to be very mindful of the materially poor, generous according to our means of time and treasure, and never think we are being “generous” if we are expecting quid pro quo or repayment. That’s the practical point.

As a parable, however, this saying is perhaps more challenging. It is about evangelization. Parables are about the spiritual world, so the spiritually “poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind” are those without Faith or struggling in their Faith. A reminder: evangelization is primarily about spiritual friendship, not about preaching on streetcorners. The application is straightforward but challenging. If our Faith is important to us, we must realize that we have a lot of growth to do, and that the stakes are more than just my soul, but also of those around me. Therefore, we have no license to:

1. Isolate our Faith to Mass on Sunday. Weekly Mass is part of the minimum to remain in communion with the Church.

1 1 Timothy 1:15 Hagelin 22C 4

2. Privatize our Faith and be unwilling to share it. 3. Absolve ourselves from helping in the Faith development of others.

Remember, humility is not about being shy – it is about knowing oneself to be a beloved child of God. Thus we want others to know and experience their identity in Christ as well, and – in gratitude – we seek to serve God and act justly, and if we manage to do any good, we can take no credit for ourselves since it is all God’s grace. Humility, finally, is that powerful combination of:

 Groundedness in identity  The grace of God working in an through us  Resulting in gratitude  And a knowledge that we don’t get or even need credit for it  But that we cannot keep it to ourselves….

It is the antidote for narcissism that David Foster Wallace was unable to offer. The problems and brokenness of the human situation can be discerned by any thoughtful and insightful person. Real healing and solutions – conversely – require no serious insight or discernment – they require simple faith, and a willingness to admit my life is not about me, to learn to say “speak Lord, your servant is listening” and to openness to the way I am called out of myself to bring the love of Jesus to others.

As the Lord Jesus comes to us TODAY in a most humble way, veiled under the appearance of bread and wine, which is in fact His Flesh and Blood, let us ask the Lord for humility – which is greater awe and wonder in the presence of the one who loves us and invites us to share His saving work.