& WILFRID LAURIER UNIVERSITY STUDENT PUBLICATION THE CORD

VOLUMEXXXIII ISSUEB OCTOBER 8 1992

Hawks let one get away

INSIDE

News

Building kills trees...... page 3

Sports

Blues bash

Hawks.... page 13

Entertainment

MISS live and

loud. page 19

Comment

Violence grows ai Lamrier....,.page 2B

Hawk loss them number drops to four in the national rankings photo by Jim Elkins 2 Advertisement THE CORD Thundmy, Ootobmr M, l>||

Hp O Don't get behind pH in your reading.

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UNIVERSITY STUDENT PUBLICATION

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./ ll I CORDIES PUT OUT WEEKLY.

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CHTIjRRE if Bring in non-perishable " items to the collection bins TICKET INCLUDES: BANDS, PRIZES, _ _

BEER STEIN AND BB CONCOURSE •• A BONUS SOUVENIR DINING HALL

TORQUE ROOM H All Cfi I onripr ah agesanpQ $BLaurier 24 hour lounge HB> Guest welcome $10 atrium

Win The available at thp Ppntrp Qnnt Challenge against: the Faculty and Staff! flnfo Centre) AIDS I and Bored I i Congress | j ! Awareness I the NAFTA Watch | I a e 7I 1 10 News P g page j I page 12 j

NEWS EDITOR : SHELDON PAGE ASSOCIATE NEWS EDITOR : INGRID NIELSEN

Concern for tree grows

Our trees are in danger.. Will they be spared?

versity." When asked to comment matter how many saplings are LIANNE JEWITT will not be a on this, Baker said, "We're going planted, they The Cord suitable for these to try to save as many trees as we replacement

can." trees." Krebs later said, "Trees Those who show concern for that are old are more hearty Baker pointed out that a the old trees on the proposed against acid rain." site maple and a willow tree were of Arts and Science building When asked about other pos- St.and concern. "We should be (at the corner of King particular We sible sites for the new building, able to save the maple easily. Bricker Ave.), are not alone. Baker replied, "other sites were be able to save the wil- WLU VP: Academic Donald may not considered but there aren't many "We all share the low." Baker says sites on the campus." As it is, Krebs, however, is skeptical. same concerns." houses will have to be down for the torn Geography graduate students She stated that when plans to allow for the four-story build- were first discussed, Lorri Krebs and Lynda Formosa building scheduled for construction in said would ing, addressed the issue in the Sep- "they they originally Since 1993. tember twenty-fourth edition of build around the two trees. July

said for the amount With to the The Cord saying, "We hope the then, they've regards diagram of the treed of the building plans consider the sig- of trees lost, they'd plant sap- landscape and the nificant values of mature trees." lings." campus, approximate area their letter The the will Values which include "keeping In to Cord, proposed building cover,

Krebs Formosa stated, "no Baker said that, "it is a con- the aesthetic quality of the uni- and just ceptual approach.

Il gives an idea of

where the build-

ing should proba-

bly be located." Although the

sketch clearly

shows that many

trees could be at

risk, Baker holds

that, "the build-

ing could take Hey, it looks like a tree hugger to me. I bet he is a

several shapes. I vegetarian too. Photo: Keith's friend

have no idea how

will will to these old trees? As it Baker others many trees happen stands, and

Baker does to be affected." plan plant sap- in charge are aware of the crucial Still, if the lings, yet stresses that "we should nature of such trees, and maintain site in question is strive to maintain the existing that they plan to do everything j ultimately de- trees." He recognizes that "giant

to them alive. ' cided upon, what trees don't grow over night." possible keep Laurier is represented

LEE HEWITT terms of status with OFS Ken on the issue of university funding. negotiation President, Craft, The Cord the is unclear at in It states that "responsibility for government, however, does not view OUSA the funding higher education should present, although several meet- same light. The Wilfrid Laurier Students' "I think that it is not a good Union has recently joined a idea," said Craft, "I'm not sure lobby which will OUSA is a diservice group "performing why it was formed." He added the student in represent body that since the OFS is an existing external university affairs. and established democratic orga- The Ontario students." - - Ken Undergraduate to Craft (OFS) nization, that OUSA is actually, Students' Association [OUSA] "performing a disservice to will be the voice for have occurred between the negotiating be shared by students, the public ings Ontario students."

approximately 87,000 students. and the Ministry 1 — sector and the private sector." fledgling group The charter members of this of Universities and Strangret supports this view, Colleges. Christina Craft. File photo group include the full time stu- "tuition The status of OUSA is unsure adding, fees are going to dent bodies of because of the Ontario Brock, Waterloo, ous schools' students' govern- increase,",, but, "we don't want right now the of Toronto, University ments by October 9, will now be them to increase in a vacuum." Federation of Students. The

Queens and Laurier, and the made in late October. part- public The group's mandate is senior lobbying group has been time students at U of T. At Laurier, there will be entrenched as the sole students' op- limited to these funding concerns The birth of OUSA came after for student the in the portunity input on at this time. However, there is a organization province. a June 6, 1992, "informal round- proposal after the ratification. possibility that OUSA could deal Laurier has never joined. table held at the of University OUSA plans to work coopera- said Toronto," Alexandra tively with the OFS. The philoso- "We are revolving around the fund- Strangret, VP: Affairs University of the organization is to, phy Alexandra Slangrel. and the Students' Union's Fi|e photo repre- "manifest a non-confrontational sentative in OUSA. in relations with all Christina Craft, Students' ing issue" -- Alexandra Stangret approach At these discussions, the rep- groups." Union President, maintains a dif- resentatives the of OUSA mem- "We [OUSA] are a con- ferent at least for stu- "Right now," said Strangret, with other student issues at a later not view, the ber schools discovered that they "we [OUSAJ are revolving date. frontational group," said dent body of her university. held many common views. This in in around the funding issue, the "We can see, possibly, the Strangret conformation, "We "It is the first time that consensus led the to drafting of a don't funding of secondary education in future, expanding the mandate to intend to be confronta- Laurier has been involved ex- proposal for OUSA. said had ade- Ontario." include other concerns," tional; we would like to, in as ternally. We have never The proposal, which was in- The organization's mission Strangret. much is possible, work with the quate representation (in external tended to be ratified by the vari- in statement puts forth their position The official role of OUSA, OFS." university affairs)." said Craft. 4 News THE CORD Thurmdmy, Ootobmr a, Iff]

Tax refunds snatched

TORONTO -- If federal the mind (CUP) you portion, only provin- that students should be to back the students their just trying get money to repay debts indi- have a Canada Student Loan cial share had been cleared, while paying off their loans in full," that students owe it," Renaud cates what's just really, wrong the federal remained make sure you pay all of it off. part unpaid." Bruce, "but says taking money said. with the Canada Student Loan

Under announced Richard Bruce, a regulations University from students who But chair of away really Kelly Lamrock, system. in federal the of student February's budget, Regina councillor, says need it -- out of the blue - is real- the Canadian Federation of Stu- "The fact that we have these

federal can now seize he is with one government currently dealing ly unfair." said dents, the federal govern- students defaulting on their loans the income tax refunds of stu- case where a student's refund So far, about $21 million has be ment is waging a public relations should a hint that the amount dents whose loan in payments are cheque was grabbed by the been collected by the withholding campaign against students. asked for by the governments is And it's it. arrears. doing government. refunds of students whose loans "It wants Canadians to believe too high," he said. "If someone's "We received a lot of calls "What's really weird," says are in default, said Claudine that we're a bunch of ir- making $600 per month and the from students and former students Bruce, "is that this student's loan Renaud, press secretary for Sec- responsible spoiled brats," he government's asking for $400, who their were depending on dates back from the 19705. I of State Robert de Cotret. said. "But in the how does the retary reality govern- rent get paid? How refund finance to their mean it's ment's cheques prehistoric." The federal government has own figures show that the does he eat?" education," says Van Buchanan, a Bruce said the statute of withheld income tax refunds for repayment rate for student loans But Ranger said that if stu- constituency assistant for British limitations provisions in Sas- other is 91 reasons before and found it per cent and there's usually dents really can't pay their loans Columbia NDP MP Hunter. katchewan Lynn are unclear, and that a successful for practice, Renaud a good explanation those off, they can make arrangements "These people received a rude the U of R student council is in said. That's it loans that aren't why decided to try paid." to postpone payment. surprise when their cheque was the preliminary stages of deciding it with defaulted Lamrock nine of student loans. says per cent "Everyone has to pay their

In cases most whether in garnisheed. many or not to go to court About 27,000 people have loans classified as being in de- debts," she said. "But we're look- of them their loans had order to force the federal thought govern- had their refunds confiscated be- fault are usually held by the stu- ing for payment from the students been he said. paid," ment to return the student's che- cause of defaulted student loans dents who needed the loans the who have finished their education

"But since most student loans since April, she que. said. most in the first place. and have jobs. We want them to are divided into a and a "There is in "The federal provincial no question our government is He said the failure of these honour their commitments."

THURSDAY FRIDAY SATURDAY SUNDAY MONDAY TUESDAY WEDNESDAY

— —

__ __ ! [mwn __

10:00am-Cord 10:00 am. Church of WLUSU Opening Music at Noon - Aird

feedback booth in the service the 5:30 - News writers at feedback proram. Centre recital hall pm Concourse. meeting in the Cord Seminary. Feature pianist Kendall Aids Awareness offices. Taylor Week Aids awareness week 2:00 pm. 500th Walk-a-thon for White

United Way campaign 2:30 pm. Economics Owl Native Ancestry lecture "Economic Assoc, and Latin Am.

Thanksgiving Food Recovery: At Hand or Support Grp. Walk

Drive for Waterloo Underway." RM. begins at Victoria Foodbank P3007 Park parking lot.

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California Red or Green Leaf

Cream of Mushroom or

Start your school year off right Heinz Vegetable Soup

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Prices Oct. 13-Oct. 17.1992 effective Regular or Light Assorted Varieties Lactantia Fruit Quark 4/3.00 ■WHWWWMWW MSaW.IJ.UHUM 125 g

Weston's White 100% Whole Wheat Regular or QyiJ Fibre Goodness Bread Bums Wieners 1.00 450 g 1.691 675g I THE CORD News 1992 Tharwdmr, October t, 5

Students' Union opens BAG O' CRIME house to interested students DOUG MORTON

The Cord

The recent open house held in 29 September the Student Union Building has who TRESPASS -(1130 hrs): Acting on complaints, four males were been successful in making stu- behalf of a Waterloo hair salon received trespass warn- soliciting on dent government more acces-

ings. sible to the students, said A MEDICAL ASSISTANCE -(1815 hrs): WLU student was trans- Adrienne Hodgin, Students' while out to the K/W hospital. The victim passed out working ported Union VP Media and Communi- in the education in the weight room physical complex. cations.

"I believe it was successful in to a complaint, security TRESPASS -(1910 hrs): Acting response because we got more people ap- from residence. The is evicted an unwanted guest a campus trespasser plying for positions, which we are character. to security for his violent known extremely pleased about," said

September 30 Hodgin. THEFT -(1300 hrs): A WLU student reported the theft of her wallet On October first, students

containing cash and a green card. The theft occurred when the victim gathered in the Student Union

left her briefcase momentarily unattended on the fourth floor of the li- Building's third floor television

card used annual brary. The green was to defraud the victim of a substantial lounge for the event.

amount of cash. Free refreshments were avail-

able. Students' Union representa- October 1 tives were available to answer DRUNK IN A PUBLIC PLACE -(1130 hrs): A 20 year old Missis- students' questions. male was to the K/W detox center. The male sauga transported was The event kicks off an attempt arrested for his own safety when he was observed falling and was un- to familiarize students with their able to get up. student government. Although at- October 2 tendance was not quite as high as ASSAULT CAUSING BODILY HARM -(0030 hrs): Two WLU stu- was hoped for, the event met dents were transported to the K/W hospital to be treated for cuts and Hodgin's expectations. bruises sustained during a fight amongst several turret patrons. One Another open house is a pos- of the injured is a UW student. Investigation of the incident is still sibility for next semester, and ongoing. there will be another next year in October 3 Adrienne opens the house. Photo: Douglas Morion keeping with tradition. CROWD CONTROL -(1400 hrs): Spectators filled Seagram's

Stadium to capacity limits during the home coming football game.

The crowd was well behaved and with the exception of one minor in- Food banned from

cident, there were no problems. Library

ADRIENNE HODGIN staff. include, "This is Examples pop, candy wrappers, subs and DRUNK AND DISORDERLY -(2235 hrs): Acting on complaints The Cord a Take-Out not Eat-In Establish- sugar packets. The result shows received, three inebriated males were evicted from the gym. The three ment" and "RAID: All dead Reducing mice, bugs (they are of who earlier warned off for real) were part a group was campus drinking There are a lot of things you Inventory Damage". and damaged books with the liquor in an unlicensed area. Consequently, they were arrested and and can't do can in the library. The display on the main floor slogan, "These 'treasures' are charged with trespassing. They are not university affiliated. You can study, read, quietly consists of a "before" and"after" found in the stacks daily by the li- October 4 talk and photocopy, but you scenario. The "before" includes brary staff'. ASSAULT CAUSING BODILY HARM Waterloo -(0035 hrs): can't eat or drink.

in regional police advised that a WLU student was being treated the Recently students entering assault which K/W hospital due to an occurred on Laurier property. have been barraged with signs indications Student food drive The investigation into this matter is still ongoing. Present discouraging eating in the library.

that the victim attacked several males on the sidewalk are was by The policy of no eating has al-

the south side of the A.C. and beaten unconscious. The attack in along ways been effect. The signs are JIM BOYCE ment of WLUSU. Alexandra

stopped when a witness happened on the scene and began screaming a desperation move on behalf of The Cord Stangret, Vice-President of Uni-

in terror. The then fled from the scene. The victim was the avoid perpetrators library to damage to the versity Affairs, says that her transported to hospital. collection. departmenat issued the challenge

Virginia Gillham, the Univer- "We have challenged the facul- to the staff and faculty and, "has

TRESPASS AND ATTEMPTED BREAK AND ENTER said that and staff and doubt will -(0145 hrs): sity Librarian, students ty to try get as no that the students

Two males arrested when were discovered on the in the much food the were they hiding eating library are "a fairly as students," live up to their end." Stangret

roof of the Athletic Both were inebriated and stated they The main Susan Director of there has Complex. significant problem". says Stevens, says already been a

had climbed the roof in an to inside the A.C. are and vermin. and attempt get problems spillage Charity Community Rela- good response in the residences.

Gillham said there is "a tions for WLUSU. Other places students can donate MEDICAL ASSISTANCE A WLU student who claimed -(1700 hrs): danger of a real infestation of Stevens was sitting in the food items include the Con- that Albert someone put drugs in his drink while attending a party on creatures if uncontrolled food Concourse earlier this hand- week course, Torque Room, Dining Street was driven to the K/W hospital. Test results are not yet known garbage is around". out The "crea- ing empty boxes that are Lounge and the TV lounge (on to into the is security. Investigation matter ongoing. tures" she is are mice be filled referring to hoped to many times be- the second floor of the Student and vermin. fore the end of the drive on Octo- Union Building). October 4 The signs were put up at the end ber 16. The boxes will be placed The results of the drive will

MEDICAL - ASSISTANCE (0050): A male WLU student who of August in an attempt to explain in offices and lounges around be kept in the Concourse with claimed that had in his drink was to the behind the someone put drugs transported reasoning no campus with the first pick-up each food item being counted as a K/W The student had be restrained. It took the rule. scheduled hospital. to physically eating for this Friday. one dollar donation. All the food

efforts of six to achieve restraint. The people signs are the brainchild of The drive was sponsored by will then be given to the Waterloo

Blanka Burgos and the support the University Affairs Depart- Food Bank.

I URRET i| 1 ■ (Ssb _ rinrmrar fVAwn ___

1 SfS™ • SUNDAY NIGHT

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_ 6 News THE CORD October Ihurmdmy, a, IMI

Laurier awaits Macleans

DARREN MAHAFFY First, she related that the new been selected and a contract is Marsden said that Secondly, ing. Said Marsden, "let's hope the The Cord academic the building at corner about to be signed. The she couldn't "believe how modest building government comes through...two of King and Bricker is scheduled should be for use in all are about the On ready Sep- you [the faculty] cent is not enough as it is." September 29, at 7:30 p.m., per to ahead. An architect go has tember, 1994. academics at Laurier." In the last Peter the Senate convened for its' Registrar, Tron,

several weeks she has been "im- on the first sitting of the 1992-1993 reported registration

pressed". statistics for this There are school year. year.

Marsden said that a new 5516 full-time and 2796 After a reception at 7:00, Dr. part-time Maclean's of schools students this Lorna Marsden, WLU president survey registered at time for

would be released on October 26, the 1992-1993 and chair of the Senate, opened year.

1992. She expressed her concern The next event of the the meeting by welcoming mem- evening that "Laurier is far better than was a debate on academic bers, old and new. re- Maclean's said last year" and quirements. The Academic Plan- Marsden spoke of her therefore have "many worked ning Committee proposed to pleasure at being chair of the hard, on to campus, have the change the academic require- Senate. She came from a school weightings changed." She com- ments for advancement in the that did not have a Senate. mended them on their efforts. Honours All programs. programs Marsden expressed the loss on The schools the Maclean's would [in require a cumulative behalf of herself and the school grade article] are now to be of 7.0 for going point average all over the death of Dean Shankar in one of three placed categories: honours subject courses and 5.0 A. Yalaja. She noted that a schools with large medical for all other courses. memorial scholarship will be set faculties such as University of After to the 5.0 re- his memorial opposition up in name and a Toronto and schools of all Queens, quirement for other courses service will be held at a time con- medium size with research was expressed, an amendment venient for the family. Dr. Marsden prepares the Senate for the facilities and graduate upcoming programs, was proposed to change the 5.0 Marsden, in her President's Maclean's article. Photo: Ingrid Nielsen and liberal arts schools. requirement to 4.0, as it currently report, covered several items. Laurier falls into the last stands. The debate over the issue Laurier's should category. rating continued, with most favouring

be far better as Marsden said Anti-abortion in K-W the 7-4 split. Dissent came from rally "we've done we everything pos- departments whose advance re- sibly can" to make the best quirements for honours are higher ANDREW THOMSON Dienesch of of Waterloo. George University presentation possible to than 7.0. The Cord Dienesch, the Education Officer of Ontario Stu- Maclean's. The motion was eventually afternoon from 2:30 until 4:00 dents for Last Sunday pm, Life, explained were there. On financial it why they a front, was withdrawn for further considera- 1000 down To "stand for the God- approximately people spread King up given dignity of Marsden that the Pro- reported by tion by the committee. Any con- from Fredrick Street in to Uni- Street Kitchener, every human being from conception until natural vince has warned unofficially the cerns by the Laurier community versity Avenue carrying placards condemning death." universities that the two per cent should be expressed to the Aca- in abortion. Various churches the KW area organized the in increase funding promised for demic Planning Committee. The demonstration was of a nation-wide blocks part day, allotting to individual congregations. next not materialize. A year may The next meeting of the

of called Life Chain. It Wilfrid a protests originated Laurier student Steve Fister, participant in committee has been set to ana- group up Senate is Monday, November 2, three in Southern California and the ex- the noted the would serve "increase years ago chain, day to, lyze possible budget cuts in the 7:30 in the at pm Paul Martin turn out for this across Canada was awareness in the of the pected year general public pro-life case of this $1.5 million not arriv- Centre.

estimated at 40,000 by one student coordinator, movement through peaceful demonstration."

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Aids awareness

means no more excuses

WORD NEWS ROUNDUP region have tested positive for the HIV virus as of STEVE TRACY August, 1992. Also, 28 individuals in the region The Cord week compiled by Patty Chippa were restrained last by ship- have had AIDS, and eight people are currently

ments of high-priced food which with AIDS. this is a student initia- damaged - 250 living "Though Apartments No more fear, no more excuses. the black and attracts demand on tive, we hope that we can count on support par- dead market. Canada will be from the wider said Israeli El A sending ticipation community", (Amsterdam) An 1 That is the theme of this years' National Aids relief 750 troops to guard the pro- crashed into two con- from October 4 to Stangret. cargo jet Awareness Week, which runs the Sun- ceedings. In addressing the participants prior to walk, gested apartment buildings October 10,1992. WLU President, Dr. Lorna Marsden thanked the day in the Netherlands' worst air Last Sunday students from Wilfrid Laurier Uni- Diamonds are a thief's best for coming out and expressed the need for in- disaster. Up to 250 people were University of Waterloo, Conestoga College, group friend versity, creased Federal Government funding for AIDS re- feared dead, as rescuers began members began the week by (London) Jewelry worth $12 mil- and other community search Marsden is a former Ottawa rubble, for For programs. removing searching a walk-a-thon called "Students Walk lion Canadian was stolen last holding Senator who is much aware of the dissatisfac- the missing bodies. Aviation offi- Life" in of AIDS research, education, and very week in what could be the support tion felt such as CANFAR and cials attributed the loss of the services. by groups world's largest jewelry theft. The support fund- 747's starboard the Students' ACCKWA in the current level of government Boeing engines from the The charity event was initiated by pieces were snatched the of the crash. as cause of Union of Wilfrid Laurier. To ensure that the money ing. home of the owner, a member Dr. Marsden's was echoed by Scott back in raised at the event to a variety of uses, the pro- opinion He's a Middle Eastern royal family. goes Piatkowski, President of ACCKWA. Piatkowski, a Texas billionaire included ceeds are to be divided between CANFAR (Cana- (Washington) The famous gems ones and Laurier and former BOD member, said he was Perot announced last week of dian Foundation for AIDS Research), grad Ross worn by prominent members short of thrilled" that the Students' Union in ACCKWA, (AIDS Committee for Cambridge, "nothing that he was officially running the British royal family. his with the idea of a Waterloo and Area). had approached organization the U.S. election as an indepen- Kitchener, fundraiser. Piatkowski asked the students to sign was the first community-based dent candidate. Perot dropped out Blast kills four ACCKWA ACCKWA's for increased AIDS research A blast AIDS unit in the local area. It held its' first meeting petition of the race in July, with hints that (Philippines) grenade and also the participants to at in 1985 and became incorporated in 1989. The or- funding encouraged he would return in September. killed four people and injured of 15 Board members and has write to their local member of parliament to express least 12 others near a market in ganization consists in the streets Dancing In Piat- will receive their concerns. an earlier conversation, Zamboanga, Philippines, last Fri- over 80 volunteers. ACCKWA two- Thousands of Brazilians that he that the success of the (Brazil) raised for its' kowski said hoped day. The grenade had been con- thirds of the money Sunday support celebrated in the streets last week "Students Walk For Life" would lead to larger and in a education services in the Waterloo cealed in a bag, placed programs and after of the impeachment walk-a-thons in the future. Next fundraisers learning market No one while CANFAR will receive the year, minibus near the region, remaining of their president, Fernando Col- could be held in conjunction with the has admitted responsibility. third for its' research programs. possibly lor de Mello. The first freely "From All Walks of Life" event that is used to start Sue Stevens, co-ordinator for Charity and Com- elected in 29 years was AIDS Awareness Week other AIDS president at the Students' Union, said there by community Pumps not cool munity Relations for six months on suspended in such as ACT (Aids Committee of Toronto). not for the event terms of a groups A nuclear reactor's cool- was a specific goal millions of (Tokyo) charges of accepting The 30 that attended "Students Walk For dollar amount. people failed in a nuclear ing pumps dollars from a "slush fund", run 10 that Life" had a choice between a 5 or km route Stevens said, "We did very well for a first time plant in Tokyo last week. An a former treasurer. refreshments the by campaign raise they could take with along way. assumed event. We wanted to get people out, money, system then emergency barbecue and outdoor in there for Laurier". The walk was followed by a and create awareness. We're More beans, please control and prevented meltdown concert in the Quad featuring the student bands is of Alexandra Stangret, Vice-President University (Somalia) The United Nations It also the release hampered Free and of Pray For Rain, The Rising Sons, Time, countries to send of Affairs, also stressed the importance creating urging donor radiation in the area northeast the home Matthew Osborne. rice awareness. "We want to bring message staple foods such as beans, Tokyo. The cause of the pumps' The participants raised a total of $1,120 from that AIDS affects in our own community". and to famine- of a people sorghum grain failure was the incorrect "flip and barbecue sales. Statistics show that 93 people in Waterloo pledges stricken Somalia. Relief efforts switch".

REFERENDUM '92

VOTING'S

If you're a Canadian citizen and I \ You'll find the answers to ; : any ques-

-18 of older October tions years age or by -a you might have in: "The s 8 1 26, can vote in the federal • Student Voter's Guide' now avail- you A\ ,

referendum. —\m able 1 V at your Student Association,

But to exercise to \ Office your right vote, Registrar's or campus

first your name must be on the ,1 \ bookstore.

Voters' List. If haven't been enu- you one up today -and you'll see:

merated address at your present or Voting's a breeze!

have until 19 back home, vou October

add the list. to your name to

CANADA

The non-partisan agency responsible for the conduct of the federal referendum 8 Advertisement THE CORD Ttmrmdmy, Octobmr a, 1992

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° ,0 \ I 5 1992 the cord News X99* 9 *°** *> mmdav, oc f

Native issues addressed

STEVE DOAK New he sues," an analysis of the past cial work degree from WLU. Brunswick courts, so had

The Cord five hundred of the situa- years. Nicholas first spoke about his multiple perspectives

The first lecture was given by experience working with native tion of the inmates.

month that marked the be- don Nicholas October Nicholas in The Gray on 1. inmates of the Guelph Correc- began programs

of the fall set the stage Nicholas is first tional Centre social ginning the native judge as part of his the correctional centre to support this Laurier Lecture for year's in Atlantic Canada. As well as his work program. He had practiced rehabilitation rather than simple Is- series, featuring "Native He law degree, he has a masters so- law in defending natives in the punishment. pointed out that

this was an emphasis in Indian Laurier in culture that was more effective tropics than the Canadian government's methods.

STEPHAN LATOUR four Nicholas criticized the Trinidadians, among them a Agency [CIDA],

The Cord In government for preventing native former Deputy Minister, the pres- addition to the government

people from following their own ent Minister of Commerce, as support, the favourable response School of Business customs of disciplinary action. Laurier's well as four Tele-College courses of Trinidadians will provide Economics has He said this leads to a low self- and (S.B.E) provide the necessary instruction. much support for the continuation and its abroad into of the image further crimes by na- spread program The diploma is essentially the program. tives. the British West Indies, in par- At the in same, with the exception of some opening ceremonies In the last ticular into Trinidad and couple of years, minuscule changes, such as the April, Trinidad's Prime Minister the however, native elders have been Tobago, offering Diploma adaptation of business cases to Patrick Manning, six Ministers,

granted the chance to provide in- Graydon Nicolas. of Business Administration. and a host of other dignitaries at- into the of natives Franklin Ramsoomair, whose tended to give the academic rela- put sentencing Photo: Darren Myher

who admit have committed a roots and academic interests are tionship government support. they in the Carribean and crime. grounded Many students and professors Nineteenth Annual Easton-

of- In some traditional West Indies, dreamed about had also expressed their interest cases, McCarney Memorial Lecture. "conversation the the flexibility, to at the rings" are set fering quality, study Laurier, yet up This series of lectures is co- demands with the convict, members of the and the applicability of the at present are so over- sponsored by the Faculty of So- convict's tribal Laurier business to an whelming that such inquiries family, elders, cial Work in of program memory two stu- and the Each international remain dreams now. Similar- judge. member of community. for dents who were killed in a car ac- the has Even though Trinidad and there is no room for Canadians ring an equal opportunity cident the Christmas Franklin Ramsoomair. ly, during vaca-

"is not a of eco- classes in to contribute to the Tobago hot-bed to take their winter this development tion of 1972. Nicholas was a Photo: Institutional Relations it of a rehabilitation As nomic activity", serves, says agreeable climatic environment. plan. well, classmate of theirs.

as an the services suf- traditional ceremonies such as the Ramsoomair, appropriate the circumstances and particu- However, The lecture was the first of "sweat platform to test the SBE's the ficed to establish a name ceremony" are being pro- larities of Trinidadian busi- for the three discussing native issues to abroad. permitted in gram ness environment. university. When Ramsoomair jails. mark the five hundredth anniver-

In with the These are es- conjunction Royal The Royal Bank of Trinidad visited Trinidad, a coconut programs being of Colombus' sary arrival in Bank of Trinidad and the and tablished in Tobago, Tobago have secured the ser- salesperson noticed the profes- not only Atlantic North America.

University of the West Indies, a vices financial sor's Laurier and Canada, but in Toronto and north- through support t-shirt, quickly Nicholas served to remind the body of professionals with three until 1996. remarked "Oh, I know Laurier." ern Ontario as well. So far in they audience that a traditionally to 20 of practical Ramsoomair is look- Ramsoomair that the have been more successful than in years experi- already thought German community a former has to the offered would him free traditional court methods ence, responded ing to the future, as he recently recognition get a at pre- British colony with French neigh- services. for with coconut. Laurier's fame, venting repeat offenders. applied support the Ca- Despite bours, we are surrounded by na-

Four from Laurier, he still had to for it. Nicholas' lecture was the professors nadian International Development pay tives. Canada is an Indian word.

1 10 News THE CORD nmtrwlmy, October a, it§g Congess nuke NAFTA?

MIKE LOETERS would allow U.S. efforts lo Mexico. This to preserve existing U.S. at which in Japan, for example, wage zones, very little investment News Commentary TNC's to relocate to Mexico jobs and industrial The become will be made capacity. the last 30 has the in to years technology up- without fear of restrictive U.S. have be trade people a right to nation on earth. greatest trading grade production facilities, and For U.S. business, the NAFTA scared. measures being taken by the U.S And it all without a they did skills training will fall behind to has little do with trade, as is when is Mr. Waverman of the Univer- Congress protectionism single trading agreement with any other developed nations. This is about does investment. the buzz word around of Toronto out that: Washing- sity pointed country. It happened because they certainly not in the long-term in- Since 1985 Mexico has un- "The ton. hard fact of the matter is had terests of good products to sell, peri- the U.S. in terms of tremendous "liberaliza- dergone Since the 1960's the ma- that efficient and od." production competitiveness. NAFTA is tion" of their which the marketable economy quiladora has been products create As a result of this of a program strategy simply short-term solution to a makes trade virtually free, or with main driving force behind reloca- prosperity. ..not trade deals. Look competing on cost alone in low big problem in U.S. industry. low tariffs. very tion to Mexico. The truth is, in What U.S. business really the last 30 the years only Rooms for wants is some kind of guarantee "benefit" Mexico has received women in Bricker

that Mexico will not return to its from the "free trade experiment" DARREN MAHAFFY ly immediately. economic nationalist past. Cord with the U.S. has been extremely The The housing office is for female looking ap- NAFTA will effectively "lock in" low Often the wages. employ- plicants to fill vacant apartments in Bricker the reforms that have taken place ment is for short durations, work- WANTED: By the Housing Office, five females Residence. U.S. transnational and guarantee conditions are interested in a state-of-the-art ing horrendous, living facility. The rooms have become available "since the all corporation (TNC's) "national there is virtually no enforcement Close to classes. Full kitchen and washroom of school" start said Mike Belanger, Director of treatment" in Mexico. of health and facilities. month lease available. Please safety standards, Eight rep- "due to a of Housing, variety reasons". These rea-

So why is access to invest- and local environments are highly sons include people being accepted and not telling in Mexico ment so important and contaminated. the university they are not coming, those who stay not trade? First of all, the The major problem with this at but the university choose to live off-cam, or Mexican is only 3.6% of U.S. TNC's is that economy strategy those who choose to quit school. of the size of the U.S. economy, are they competing solely through There is a waiting list in the Housing Office, a of over 90 cost reduction and not despite population strategies, however there are only male names on it at this million This makes its investment in people. heavy skills train- time. The office will in not place males rooms no than a me- economy bigger ing and technological innovation. female. designated There was, at one point in time, dium size U.S. state. So even if NAFTA is another in only step a female waiting list but all persons were placed.

rapid economic growth were to this to annex Mexico as a strategy There are currently 1200 places in residence. take in Mexico it would still place low zone for the wage production The Housing Office is presently looking for six not have any major impact on the U.S. to make U.S. products "more to fill vacancies. people They plan for "half a per- U.S. economy. competitive". cent vacancy rates for the entire year" said

I believe that the real We see now that NAFTA is objec- Belanger, and as such are not concerned about the

tive of U.S. TNC's is to secure issue in the becoming a larger spots but "of course we would like to fill them". low access to Mexico's U.S. as "it is becoming in- wages, Belanger said that "I wouldn't be surprised to and weak social and environmen- clear to full Christmas" creasingly many people see us at as people start to come in tal standards to with im- in of compete Congress that the interests and see him "about the time of the first snowfall".

ports from Industrialized U.S. business is not the same as Newly For those interested, the Housing Office is in Countries (NlC's). those of U.S. workers and U.S. MacDonald House. The entrance is opposite the NAFTA will communities." A NAFTA would ultimately doors of Student's Union Building. They can also in secure access to the U.S. market fact tie the hands of Congress be reached Openings at Bricker. Photo: Chris Skalkos by telephoning 884-1970, ask for the for facilities relocated in trade with Mexico in production managing Housing Office.

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wins out Vegetarianism I I Get your name in print! roast beef over The Cord team needs grandma's news as many energetic writers as possible. No As result levels. a there was little Eastern dish is a falafel sandwich. - the desire experience necessary only to meat around the house. She never I here it is the hamburger of the learn. The team meets forced the meatless thing on the Mid-East. It is a pita filled with news every OFFPAGETHE from rest of the family, but there never salad, falafel patties, (made | Wednesday in the Cord offices at 5:30. | was a abundance of it ground chick and a white BY SHELDON PAGE great peas) around. sauce (made from sesame seeds).

I thought that eating out A description cannot do a I decided to Nine months ago would be a problem. It turned out falafel justice - they have to be Problems with Sur- become a vegetarian. make them not to be that bad. Almost any- experienced. You can enough, I have had a I it to be too prisingly where you go there are meatless yourself, but find time of it and relatively easy Mid-Eastern items on the menu. Pastas are a much of a hassle. of have no intentions going choice, as are rice dishes, food is reasonably priced. computer good very security back. various appetizers, salads, and Coming back to the trial by critical test of I passed a my CAREY WATERS best of all pizza. fire that I faced with my grand- weekend. I convictions last gave I The Cord Last was one it made me proud that year there only mother, roast beef. I Random have been in various individ- up my grandmother's the that I resisted such a temptation. reas- bootup problems emerging pizza place near campus It was a five rib roast, cost over I sured that I ual directories of Laurier's Banyan system. could get a vegetarian slice. was my grandmother tender and $60, and looked as I A version of the Vines was installed into the wanted no special treatment. new Banyan system surprised that as of now there are I have ever seen roast juicy as don't after cooking system in the early summer. at least three within a three expect her, beef look. of One of the caused is the DrawPerfect minute walk from the school. with meat for years to all a example problems being To be fair, my grandmother Some students have frustration at the "error #65" i • — :— —•~~1 accommodate me. expressed : sudden stop to program. i never understood I the screen in front of them. really why table and it was that on She sets a good message frequendy appears would meat. It disturbed Director of said give up Grandmothers make meal out Carl Langford, Associate Computing Services, easy for me to my when I of her, as it has many people that the is one of security in the new version of the rest of the meatless spread. problem tightened

that I am a in tell them vegetarian. Vines. It has been discovered that individual names must appear I don't expect others to People have a hard time im- the of directories in order for them to activate. can be tempting change just because I do. You access rights some what it would be like to agining "The security is tighter than necessary in some cases," Langford says. would be surprised at how you live without meat. I use the word of Frank Anatol, professor of Business 155, admits that the error can salvage a meal out a sup- "live" because that is the level of I have found that most first cause some frustration in students, particularly posedly meat based dinner. messages may that most give restaurants are very accommodat- in the significance people time computer users. "It undermines confidence learning en- If you are planning to take the to meat. I can't blame for really ing if you order a dish and ask vironment." vegetarian plunge, don't worry them. the meat to be left out of it. Don't the detrimental interference, Anatol said that he would about it. It can be done. It can be Despite We are brought with meat. but it seems to up try this with pasta, still "recommend the A factor which he contrib- - it strongest security." done very easily just depends Meat is seen as a critical part of a work well with about just any- Be utes to the of computer inefficiency is the inadvertent on how determined you are. problem meal. We have been conditioned, else. thing erasure of C drive files students. prepared to defend your by for the most to eat meat at I discovered Mid- part recently are also a although vegetarianism against those Computer viruses possible security problem, each meal. Eating meat is just the Eastern food. It offers a good va- checked Services. - each individual terminal is daily by Computing staunch meat eaters out there it is and to it is of dishes. Don't way stop eating riety vegetarian "Each new has a of Anatol says. and from roast beef dinners. system period adjustment," inconceivable for of Mid-Eastern for Indian - most us. mistake to smooth- a "Computing Services works very hard keep things running Vegetarianism can become it easier dishes the I probably had than there are no curry on life as ly." part of your just eating far I most. My mother drastically Mid-Eastern menu as as will not be modified. but I to Langford, the Vines system meat can. I am not there yet, According reduced her meat in know. consumption The difficulties caused by tightened security are being corrected by look forward to the day that I am. order to control her cholesterol all time favorite Mid- the My the gradual relaxation of individual directories as problems arise.

I EDUCATION 11 I

SESSIONS 11 I

I H Wednesday October 14 • Brock /|, /p 1 |v 1 I Theatre Auditorium •Ottawa I I I

October 15 I H Thursday »Lakehead . _ =, , _ , _ __ k I I 1 „ I rsxp 1

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i I I EXPIRES OCTOBER • NOT VALID\MTH OTHER OFFERS M 15,1992 j 12 Nbws THE CORD October Tfmrmdmy, a, jfn Students' Union discuss United Way fundraiser

Union Board now.] Their intention was to outline the the offices is loaned from the Stu- Speaking for the User Com- BORED McLean wanted to into go relationship between the two. dents' Union and would be put mittee, said had A 1 Lee they gone camera to discuss the applicants They also detailed what should be back into Union Presi- storage. overbudget in purchasing, but to CRO. Well all done Why? hiring if a felt had dent Craft said sell it WATCH person they they might that they expected $1300 back committees and been applicants are mistreated by a reporter. at some point. from a laser sale STUDENT printer and un- private information to Christina said that protect she "really The job description of Art used hard drive credit. The PUBLICATIONS com- them from and prejudice defama- appreciated Pat and Sheldon's Director the for Cord was finally mittee wanted to use $600 of the tion. Walker coming". concurred, agreed upon by the board. Direc- credit in order to make further ad- M. KINZINGER PHILL the do know the that the Union By way, you saying now knows tor Brian Gear said he had some vancements to the system, and the The Cord Publication Board what doesn't have to to do, that it "comes problems with right where the position board had no problem with this. give 24 hours notice before from the horse's going mouth". fell into the chain of command. I have I just to say made a Last week's Student Publica- into camera, like the Students' General about whining new He said between the Editor-in- booboo last week, in that Student tions Board of Directors meet- Union. They only have to give furniture desks and [computer Chief and himself they decided to Publications doesn't have the was a change of five minutes which can be ing refreshing recess, chairs] for the Cord and Keystone keep the Art Director under staff same lawyer as the University, I It was exciting, well waved. pace. offices was commented on. A 1 recommendation instead. but that they share the same legal can't lie. Anyway here's how I The and short of it is, long Lee suggested a com- forming Finally, in an effort to raise firm. Only the Students' Union McLean and fell asleep. Hord were OK'd as mittee to progress the issue [like and Publications the public awareness, Walker sug- share same Publications President Martin CRO temporaries by the Publica- we need another God Board in Either really gested holding meetings lawyer. way it could be a Walker gave a brief report of the tions Board. Damn committee], but Walker the Concourse. Christina Craft conflict of interest under certain of He said The Cord Pat Brethour progress autonomy. Editor, said that he and was handling it said she thought it was a good circumstances. Union Vice that the Students' appeared to relate his visit [along just wanted a volunteer to help idea, but that the Niobe Lounge And look, the board meetings President of Jeff Finance, Bilyea with the News Editor] to the Stu- him. would be better because it really aren't uninteresting they're was uncomfortable with allowing dents' Union Board meeting. The furniture used in current wouldn't be so distracting. just bor..Zzzzzzzzz. the Publication's Treasurer to

look after their own accounts

receivable and payable. Bilyea

told Walker the job was already

being done by Cynthia Hargrove and to have two people doing it

would causc confusion. Students' Union President RARE YOU Christina Craft suggested setting

the that it up system this year, so could be enacted immediately

next year. In a report from the Students' 8 HAVING Union, Craft asked for volunteers

with to help out a "last minute"

United Way drive, to be held

from October 12th to the 30th.

The goal, she said, is $50,000 and a number of events will be held to I SEX IN raise it.

There is a planned 50/50

draw, a wishing well information

booth and a barbecue. The Chair, Allan Lee, also suggested a 1 THE DARK? scavenger hunt with an entrance

fee. Craft asked that anyone [on

campus] who would like to help

staff booths, to speak to herself or bJ Some is bliss. Alexandra Stangret at the Union say ignorance

offices.

On behalf of the elections When it comes to sex, ignorance is far committee, Shawn McLean re- from bliss. It's just plain dangerous. lated Alexandra Stangret's con-

cerns should there be a problem

in hiring a Chief Returning Of- If you want to do the smart thing, ficer. She had suggested to him get out of the dark. that he and Sherri Hord act jointly

CRO until as the the person hired

was ratified. Find out how HIV/AIDS and other

The CRO hiring committee STDs are transmitted. meeting was set for last Friday,

and with another on Tuesday they Use condoms. Not tentatively hired Darren Mahaffy. occasionally,

[After an emergency meeting the not usually, but always.

same day, the Student Publica- tions Board ratified him. It only Talk. Talk to Your friends. remains to be ratified by the your partner. Your doctor.

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$14.95 | Call the Ontario Ministry of Health AIDS Hotline: 1-800-668-2437 World Series |Men on NHL's bound I Smyth division I 17 SPORTS page 15 page ' v_ J

SPORTS EDITOR: EVAN BAILEY Homecoming Blues

in the were turned away. by Paul Gray rocket to Stefan Ptaszek to make ference game. quarter. first half the The defence, lead by out- The Blues managed to add a Cord Sports it close in the fourth quarter, but By the end of the in the minutes of the the last built a 19-8 ad- Dan Tosello major dying It was supposed to be this ditch effort was not Blues had up standing plays by and back the Golden the Hawks to close the added a field Martin Peric, managed to to turn bashing of the Blues. The fans enough for vantage. They even game offense Hawks the at the alumni were score. the second half to hold the potent Toronto threat, ending game were psyched, goal to begin Toronto's favor. in the so that Janzen and Ptaszek could 28-19 in pumped, heck, even Morty's pub The biggest factor game add to their lead.

able score to a On the side the Hawks defeat was whenever the Hawks Anastasakis was hook to close the good was ready for the apparent got Spiros up hold Glenn inferior the U of T our back on the five difference. After a two did to of the obviously op- anything going, to put boys point manage 71 them dead in scoreboard with a 29 yard field point conversion the Hawks McCausland to a mere yards ponent. defence would stop

third trailed field but in six on kick returns. Laurier's first possession their tracks. That was the big dif- goal before the end of the by a mere goal, attempts Not bad that he had resulted in an 85 yard drive considering total of TD three touchdowns and a ending in a pass to Craig 321 return yards last week against Brenner for a 6-0 Golden Hawk McMaster. lead. Too bad this lead was so In the end the strong and ac- short lived. Before much longer curate throwing arm of Eugene the Varsity Blues from U of T and from there Buccigrossi was the difference. built up a 9-6 lead Whenever the Hawks seemed to they never looked back.

have the Blues on the he Perhaps the big story of the QB run, mis- the number of turn- would scramble and send a game was sile downfield for overs by our beloved Golden huge yardage.

some did come Hawks, five in all. Surely one Perhaps good

out of this loss, after all last cannot expect to win by giving up year

did the Hawks not come back possession of the ball so many defeats the hands of times. from at Western and Waterloo only to Or maybe it was the absence

of All Canadian, Reinhardt Kel- blow them off in the playoffs? the needed ler, on the defensive line, such an Maybe team just

that little to their fires awesome presence is sure to be jolt light missed. Regular quarterback, Bill again. Something else to think

will the at Kubas, was out of the line-up for about, announcer

stadium ever this important match-up. His re- Seagram's pro- placement, Chris Janzen filled in nounce Spiros Anastasakis, or Stefen Ptaszek I admirably completing 14 passes properly? guess The Hawks couldn't handle the ball Saturday photo by Eda DiLiso on j have wait and see. for 254 yards including a 61 yard we'll just to Hawkey season is near

rival by John Lavigne were not available at press time. The Hawks wrap up their ex- and are set to open the regular Ryerson Polytechnical In-

Cord Sports This weekend the Hawks will hibition schedule next Friday, the season on Wednesday, October stitute. Game time is set for 7:30

In- be co-hosting the University 16th, in London against Western 21 on home ice against divisional p.m.

The Wilfrid Laurier Golden vitational Oktoberfest Tourna-

the Warriors. Hawks hockey team began their ment with Waterloo defence of the Ontario University An annual event, the tournament

Athletic Association's West Divi- has featured some top-notch play

in editions and this sion on Friday night. prior year The Hawks played the Water- promises to be no different. the Hawks and the loo Warriors to a 3-3 draw at the Along with

Columbia Ice Field in their first Warriors, participating squads

be of exhibition game of the year. will the University Toronto

"It was a rookie game for both Blues, York Yeomen, Guelph teams," said Hawks mentor Gryphons, Windsor Lancers,

and Wayne Gowing. "We used our Western Mustangs Brock rookies and they used theirs." Badgers.

Howdie Mickoski, Brent Sel- The games will be split be- man and Todd White notched the tween The Bubble and the markers for the Hawks. Columbia Ice Field with the ac- The Hawks followed that up tion starting on Friday at 4:30 with a 1-1 at a four- performance p.m. team exhibition tournament at The first of will pair games York University on the weekend. have York facing Guelph at The In their first game, the Hawks Waterloo Arena and Western dropped a 5-2 decision to the host squaring off against Toronto at York Yeomen. Mark Strohack the Ice Fields. The second set of and John Spoltore scored for the will games will start at 8 p.m. and Hawks. feature Windsor versus the In the second game, played on Hawks while the Warriors do the Sunday, Hawks edged the batde with Brock.

Windsor Lancers 7-5. The Lan- Second round action gets un- cers had dropped their opening derway on Saturday at 3 p.m.

game on Saturday 6-3 to the Uni- with the losers of the first round versity of Toronto Blues. playing off. The winners of the

Craig Boyce paced the first round take to the ice at 6:30 Hawks' attack with three goals. p.m. Single markers went to Todd Championship action will White, Don McConnell, Jamie take place on Sunday with all of Patenall and Chris George. the the Ice Field. games played at The Hawks continued their The Consolation Final goes at exhibition season last as night noon, the Bronze Medal game is they squared-off with the Western 3:30 and the Gold Medal at game Hawks should contend again photo by Ken McGuffin at The Mustangs Bubble. Details is at 7. 14 Sports THE CORD nmradmn Ootobmr a, jug Soccer Hawks get win

Hawks overcome Lancers dirty play in 3-1 win

by Eddy Hadjur game. Cord Sports The Hawks seem in to experience lapses con-

With 3-1-3 centration various of a (win-loss-tie) record, the Laurier during parts the game.

Hawks the Whether these due soccer find themselves competing for lapses are to poor officiating,

OUAA division lead. The Hawk's talent is second lack of stamina, or a decent counter-attack by the if to none, as is the team's desire to win. opposition is uncertain. However, the team is to

This week home far this it needs with 90 past saw the lads playing at go year, to play minutes of against the Windsor Lancers. intensity. Laurier succumb the tensions The smooth flow of Laurier soccer was marred seems to to of the

by the dirty and cheap tactics of the Lancers. The game. This was seen in the games against Western,

of the Waterloo, and at times against Windsor. The coach- poor style soccer was permitted by inability staff the players will be able to transfer of the official to control the game. ing hopes

its' on Coach Lea expressed his concern for this type free-flowing, practice-like atmosphere

of after the a bunch of game-day. soccer game: "they got The Hawks with confidence, but bruisers...and they're stopping us from showing our play good

seem to allow the to back when talents". Coach Lea was correct in his statement. opposition fight

down. Thanks to at WLU could not control the tempo of the game in a passionate speech half-time, the the into the mid-field due to the abusive tackling of the Lan- team responded. Again running space

As the and creative the Hawks in cers. a result, Laurier was brought down to passing sparked posting

an win. same level as their opponent. impressive

The and Ben and "Toto's" second goal, sent game was chippy, dirty as a result, Umpelby

the Lancers Various chances were boring at times. However, the Hawks did manage packing. creat-

and took of moments of brilliance full advantage ed. Two blistering shots from 30 yards out by Delia

their chances in posting a 3-1 win. Croce and Walter Booth, hit the cross-bar. The

The with the Hawks a game began making team can wreak havoc on the The opposition. ques- statement. Crisp passing, aggressive running and tion thus may be: Can the Hawks maintain the in- communication resulted in the type of soc- positive tensity necessary, without vocal speeches at half-

cer fans The down appreciate. triangular passing time, to' win the big games? the left side of the field between Steve Antolcic, The answer is forthcoming. From watching the

Frank Nardi, and up Hawks this I would be Chrys Chrysanthou opened op- play year, surprised ,no

portunities. The eventual result was a goal by Rob shocked, if they do not win the OUAA. It's too bad,

Delia Croce. He on a loose ball in the 18- pounced among all the hype around football, that the WLU in student will yard box the sixth minute. body not come out and support another

The dirty play of the Lancers, stalled the crea- successful athletic I Hawk win keeps them in second place photo by Jason Harmer program.

tive of the Hawks. This was the of the Come play story on Laurier, Support your Hawks!!!!

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Walker by Martin Hitting/Fielding: Cord Sports Devon White:

Center Field On Saturday, October 3rd, 1992, the Toronto Blue Jays ball club

American East them to HR:17RBI:60 won the League Championship, allowing Avg:.24B this and face the Oakland Athletics for a in the 1992 World White has been struggling season, although move on spot and still been excellent. Series. The Jays have won the AL East three times before, ['85, '89, fielding base running have

His is down over last year's '91] but were unable to move past their AL West opponents to make average considerably

Series. and he has a horrible average for a lead-off it to the World average in the A's be beat. The will be forced hitter. White will be a weak link Jays hitting. The are not going to easy to Jays

to contend with players like McGwire, Bordick and Sierra, along with Roberto Alomar:

talented from Eck- a host of other very players. Pitching players like Second Base

ersley, Moore and Darling will also be tough to beat. Can the Jays Avg:.3lo HR:B R81:76

Oakland? The to tell for sure is observe the but beat only way to next Certainly not a power hitter, you can always ex- couple of weeks. However, examining the Jays offense and defense pect Alomar for a single or a double. Down from

the This feature will could hold key to winning or losing. examine this season's high of the .340's, he remains an im-

of the Jays that most will be action each players likely seeing against portant player and good second baseman. Oakland. Joe Carter:

Field Pitchers: Right

Jack Morris: Avg:.264 HR:34 RBI: 119

ERA: 4.04 A real power hitter. He leads the Jays in RBIs and

Wins:2l Losses:6 HRs and will be an important part for scoring runs.

Morris indeed has an impressive He has a cannon for an arm and is an important Carter bashes another. Win/Loss ratio and lead the fielder for Toronto. has still remained relatively consistent. An ex- American League this season in Dave Winfield: cellent job at blocking Morris' and Guzman's wild wins, though he has 108 earned Designated Hitter and fast balls. runs (the highest on the Jays) Avg:.29o HR:26 RBI: 108 Manuel Lee: a tendency to be wild at times. An excellent addition to the Jays. He provides the Short him to win be- to in at Stop Expect mainly necessary power drive runs while the same Avg:.263 HR:3 R81:39 cause of run support given to him time can single and double to get on base. A bit he is a SS and on base (although of --that's Manny good quick by the rest the team slow when on base, Winfield can still play Carter's missed still doesn't know how to bunt), but has why he's been so successful this position if needed. He most of September with a sore leg. has been out year. John Olerud: The and has for the past few Terminator fires! for a long time only played First Base He could to be too rusty, thereby al- this Ex- games. prove pitched 55 innings year. Avg:.2B4 HR:16R81:66 SS. in- lowing Griffin to play to see Ward to take an from the Olerud has pect Aside poor start, played very creased role in Ed Sprague: relieving. good this season and had a season high near .300. Catcher Duane Ward: His has bit since but he Back-up average dropped a August HR:I RBI:7 A Avg:.234 ERA: 1.95 can still hit the odd single. slightly above-average in the from 12 Called up late season AAA, Sprague Wins:3 Losses:2 Saves: player for an important position, he needs to start doesn't have the experience that Borders has. Only Ward has been a consistent work- getting into the swing of things again. 47 at bats this season, Sprague may be used solely horse this season and deserves to Candy Maldonado: as Stottlemyre's personal back-up catcher (if take away some pitching from Left Field Stottlemyre is used). Henke. He's been consistent all Avg:.272 HR:20R81:66 100 Pat Tabler: year and pitched over innings The personal threat of being replaced by Derek Bell relief. the lowest ERA Infielder/Outfielder/Pinch Hitter(?) in He has in LF probably provided extra incentive for the staff and will Avg.:252 HR:O RBI: 16 on Jays pitching Maldonado to improve his hitting significantly. Al- First to be to the this Sometimes used as Baseman, expect see probably a key Jays though he performed some stunning plays sea-

Tabler as a Pinch Hitter. He's the success in the series he much slow base. to see mainly only Jay Is Juan's back 0.K.? pitching son, is still too on Expect PH had the A's. that logically could be used as a since he's against him in clutch situations on base in lieu of a Juan Guzman: pulled over 130 ABs. Bell. ERA: 2.64 much quicker Alfredo Griffin: Wins: 16 Losses:s Kelly Gruber: Infielder/Back-up Short Stop Guzman was once awesome. Third Base HR:0RBI:10 Now he's just simply amazing. Avg:.229 HR:11 R81:43 Avg.:.233

Used primarily as Lee's replacement as of late, It's hard to criticize a starter with Injured seemingly every other day, Gruber has been Griffin provides a great deal of experience to the a 2.64 ERA, but he's been falter- a major disappointment to the team. An excellent

from third first be Jays. He'll probably remain as a back-up to Lee in ing a bit as of late. His last start firing arm to can hardly com- for but the case of further injury. was against Detroit on Saturday pensated a poor average, Jays are limited due lack of third basemen in which he pitched a one-hitter to a replacements. Expect Derek Bell: effort from through eight innings, but as a poor a poor player. Outfielder/Pinch Runner everybody knows, he has a Pat Borders: Avg:.242HR:2R81:15

times. Bell offers deal of to the team while tendency to be very wild at Catcher a great speed

He hasn't been quite the same Avg:.242 HR:13R81:53 on base and while in outfield, and has also vastly could be that Borders since his back injury in late July There a good possibility may improved his average since the beginning of the and be behind the box. in his ERA has gone up replaced by a younger Sprague season. He'll probably remain the Pinch Runner hitter. Robbie...best Jay His has bit but he noticeably since his return. average dropped a during August, position for slow pokes like Maldonado.

David Cone:

ERA: 2.55 Wins:4 Losses: 3 Martin's AL series prediction Cone is probably the best overall pitcher that the have. Jays His I'll admit one and have I be the thing, predictions sports advice not been excellent staff. think this will key. Expect Cone to be the record since coming from the While I did is my strong point. predict in May that Baltimore would main pitcher that responsible for the Jays success, not Morris. Even Mets in August hasn't been the off and end in drop third and that Boston would have a hor- Morris is scheduled to in the first and up place though pitch game tentatively greatest but his losses can be at- rible I also that the Yankees would second for the fourth and seventh Cone could be the winner of season, predicted place game, games tributed to a lack of run and four back support only games (I was only about 16 games off) and that two and five. Compared to Oakland's pitchers of Welch, Stewart, by the team (two losses were due Milwaukee was "another team." I will offer Moore and do-nothing However, my Darling, expect to see Guzman, Morris, Key and Cone to 1-0 final His scores). pitching predictions nonetheless. The A's threat of prevail. Eckersley may never really materialize un- has been consistent and superb Toronto will be able to take the American less Oakland close League Championship plays games. with Cone having the lowest within six and games even quite possibly within five games. It's not A final factor to consider is the fact that this will be the first time ERA of all the Jay starters. If the that the A's bad. finished are so They the season with the same Toronto will have home for the first If up advantage two games. they can Jays win the ALCS, can you that the finished (96 wins, 66 losses, .593 It's win these two then Oakland average Jays avg.). just games, may be too demoralized to make count on Cone being a large part the fact Oakland if that has been in somewhat of a slump, winning only any comeback. Likewise, Toronto loses them both, the Jays will of the reason why. three of their 10 their next two the A. Here past games. probably drop at Big are my predictions Tom Henke: of the the Compare batting averages teams. Toronto has a combined for Championship series games: ERA-2.26 of .263 while Oakland has an of .248. threats will win average average Big on Toronto games one, two, five and six while Oakland will Wins:3 Losses:2 Saves:34 Oakland include Mark McGwire, hitting at with 42 Home Runs take .269, games three and four. Toronto should take the ALCS title and The Terminator hasn't been ef- and 104 RBI this season. But Toronto has an formidable as equally gun- face Pittsburgh (my prediction for the National League) for the World fective he with Joe Carter. He as once has been, even ner is hitting at .264 with 34 HRs and 119 RBI. Series. though he within Carter has a bit as of and with came one save However, dropped late, along guys like of his career high (and that Olerud (who reached a high of .300) seems to be struggling just a bit. Note: the dale ofpublication is Thursday -exactly one day after the despite DL'ed Toronto is being at the begin- Comparing pitching staff, seems to have an excellent first game played. Production of the Cord is done Tuesday night, of ning the crew while Oakland to have but not thus time. season). He's only pitching seems a very good, quite some exact details may not be known at press THE CORD 16 Soorts Thurmdmy, October a, 1993

HOME NOT Scoreboard I home!

OUAA Football OUAA Women's Soccer West Division

" T Pts Team GP W L Pts Team GP W L

0 14 TORONTO Blues 4 4 0 8 MCMASTER Marauders 7 7 0

6 4 11 9 LAURIER GOLDEN HAWKS 4 3 1 6 WESTERN Mustangs 2 2 8 MCMASTER Marauders 4 2 2 4 LAURIER GOLDEN HAWKS 7 3

3 3 1 7 GUELPH Gryphons 4 2 2 4 GUELPH Gryphons 7

WATERLOO Warriors 4 2 2 4 WATERLOO Warriors 6 13 2 4

2 WESTERN Mustangs 4 2 2 4 WINDSOR Lancers 6 0 4 2 5 2 2 WINDSOR Lancers 4 13 2 BROCK Badgers 7 0

YORK Yeomen 4 0 4 0

Football Results:

HAWKS 19 OUAA Rugby Division II TORONTO Blues 28, LAUREER GOLDEN 18 GUELPH Gryphons 24, WINDSOR Lancers

GP W L Pts Team WESTERN Mustangs 28, YORK Yeomen 15 4 4 0 8 YORK Yeomen WATERLOO Warriors 24, MCMASTER Marauders 11

RMC Redmen 4 3 1 6

6 CARLETON Ravens 4 3 1 Upcoming Football Games: BROCK 4 13 2 Badgers MCMASTER Marauders at LAURIER GOLDEN HAWKS (Today 7:00) LAURIER GOLDEN HAWKS 4 13 2 YORK Yeomen at TORONTO Blues (Thursday, Oct. 8) 0 TRENT Nationals 4 0 4 WATERLOO Warriors at GUELPH Gryphons (Saturday, Oct. 10)

WESTERN Mustangs at WINDSOR Lancers (Saturday, Oct. 10) OUAA Men's Soccer West Division

Team GP W L T PTS

12 10 BROCK Badgers 7 4 Upcoming Laurier Sporting Events: 9 LAURIER GOLDEN HAWKS 7 3 13 Women's Basketball vs Waterloo (exhibition) (Today)

8 Oktoberfest GUELPH Gryphons 7 2 14 Hockey Tournament (exhibition) (Oct. 9,10,11) 6 WATERLOO Warriors 6 2 2 2 Rugby vs Trent (Saturday, Oct. 10)

WINDSOR Lancers 7 2 3 2 6 Women's Basketball vs Guelph (exhibition) (Monday, Oct. 12) 5 MCMASTER Marauders 7 13 3 Men's Soccer vs Western (Wednesday Oct. 14)

4 WESTERN Mustangs 7 14 2 Women's Soccer at Western (Wednesday, Oct. 14)

Hawk Talk 6jp£LCj&j^oA//teni> ;;

Women's Volleyball

The 92-93 version of the women's volleyball Hawks opened the

exhibition season this weekend at a tournament at McMaster. The

team, consisting of five veterans and seven rookies had strong show-

ings against Ottawa, Guelph, and Waterloo. The play on the weekend

was invaluable for the starters as three of the six are freshmen. The

Brock and team is looking forward to two more tough tournaments at

before their in Windsor October 28. Queens league opener on

Golf

Over the weekend the Laurier golf team travelled to Craigowan

Golf & Country Club to play in the OUAA Championship. Despite the excellent weather the golf team finished fifth out of ten teams.

They were led by team captain Jason Spence who shot eighty the first

and driver. day a stellar seventy-four on Saturday despite breaking a

Tennis

The women competed in a tournament this weekend with the al-

ways tough teams from York and Queens. The team did not fare all

that well, however, the team is gaining experience at every tourna-

ment and seems to be improving every week.

Be a Winner! Run For K-W Hospital!

1-week for ft \\ \\\\ \ \ ' Trophies and cash for Ist, 2nd and 3rd place ■ Grand Pledge Prize of a trip 2to any- Wr* Airlines & W W \\ 4k \ events! where in Canada courtesy Canadian \ Bullas Travel! \ r\ \\ \\ ,4l\\ ■ Prizes for attaining pledge levels of $100, \ \\ \\ \\ 2sA\ \ $300, $500 and $1,000! ■ T-shirts to the first 1,000 pre-registered runners! \ \\ \\ WV \ ® Door Prizes! ■ Refreshments! ■ And Much, Much More!

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\ \\ further in- W Entry forms and pledge sheets are available at the only such facility in the region. For \ \\ sporting goods stores throughout K-W. Race kits formation and to obtain a pledge sheet, contact October 16or the K-W Foundation Office 749-4205. can be picked up Friday, Saturday, Hospital

17 at Mall. HOctober Conestoga The 1992 Prudential Run For K-W Hospital would

We'll all win! Once again, proceeds from The Run not be possible without the generous support of our

will benefit the K-W Hospital Kidney Dialysis Unit, Associate Sponsors:

'jjf | KITCHENER-WATERLOO

prudential Record lifestyle ffiiflU, THE CORiy Sports 17 I—2 rhmdty, Oetobmr a, The hardest guy ever

"NO!!!! DEFENDANT: "PLEASE, T.S.N, has decided JUDGE: "Yes." DEFENDANT: by Chris Werynski to start a daily MY not the Bassmaster me the GAS CHAM- hour in DEFENDANT: "OH Please, give Cord Sports one long Sportsdesk the BER!!!!" GOD NO. What about the Weeded Jig tournament near future. What could they pos- of the So if you don't mind, I will show for an hour when I am highlights highlights!" I have a friendly suggestion sibly " Grand JUDGE: "I'm afraid so." watch CNN Sports and Sportsline moron to slit wrists Castrol/Marlboro/Purina for our Auto-racing happy usually ready my will That one-hour Prix race Peru ?" LAWYER: "We appeal instead. Sportsdesk T.S.N. How with an exacto knife after 15 auto from programmers at ugly. JUDGE: "Yes, I'm sorry." this Honour." could get about changing their slogan from minutes? your

"Real drama, real life, real T.V." The only thing that I can fath-

whatever the hell it is to "Real om is that Federal Court judges or look real shit." are to start this show Hawks drama, going using Hawkey good

For the most part I don't mind as a penalty for dangerous from there. beloved Canadian criminals. by John Lavigne have to and fill the holes and work our sports try Cord Sports Blue have to do some work on our network. It has excellent JUDGE: "How does your We're going to

and a decent hock- ?" Cautious best sum the up- defensive said coach Jays coverage client plead optimism might up play," Gowing. Wilfrid Laurier but I a season for the The Hawks seem set between the pipes ey schedule, am offering LAWYER: "Mr.Slash pleads coming hockey certainly

three nelminders from last sea- $1,000,000 cash reward for the guilty to 12 counts of armed rob- Golden Hawks. with the return of all

find version of Coach has 18 returning the forward lines look as well. first viewer to a bery, 5 counts of illegal fondling Wayne Gowing players son and strong Athletic As- when did not of Shetland and 2 from last season's Ontario University "Our from last season Sportsdesk they a pony, counts goaltender played very club and sociation's West Division championship second season with the mispronounce every third name. of Grand Theft - Motor Home." well for us. This will be his

rookie talent as well. And for one week only, the JUDGE: "I hereby sentence some promising club so we're looking for a strong performance

will be a is find a "I'm that we very competi- however, is as $10,000 bonus game to Mr.Slash to watch 175 one-hour optimistic from him. The goaltending, only said Coach did tive team again this season," Gowing. the in front of him." Sportsdesk episode when they episodes of Sportsdesk." good as defensive play wouldn't be." "Do I "There should be no reason we front the Hawks fortunate to have two of not mention Davis Cup tennis DEFENDANT: have to why Up are that He however, assuming last season back for an- within the first 10 minutes. watch the C.F.L human interest cautioned, against the top scorers in the league successful last that will be because the team was year they Mike Dahle and Mark McCreary For some deformed reason, stories ?" other year.

this even with so many will breeze through season, counted on once again to provide some scoring

returning players. punch and they will receive help from newcomer

West last but it was Hawk of the Week "We won the OUAA year John Spoltore, late of the Ontario Hockey League. could have either and very close and many games gone "John's a proven point getter should really help difficult to repeat," said the way. It will be very us," said Coach Gowing.

coach. In assessing his club's overall chances at a Ferdinand Krauss Soccer the is basicly starting out at a shot at the He noted that squad return to the Queen's Cup and perhaps and he has Ferdinand is the goalkeeper for this years soccer squad and will to be as said the square one again attempt competi- national championship, Coach Gowing

where he left off last season. Ferdinand seems to be the an- in contest. picked up tive as possible every team is experienced while still being relatively

chor and he showed it this weekend. Krauss there are of this team certainly "We have a 22-game schedule and young. half until the Hawks in the through most of the first they teams out there. It kept game some very, very competitive "We'll have to strike a balance between scoring control of the match. Ferdinand is in his fifth coach. were able to regain year won't be a cake walk," said the defensive certainly some goals and getting good, steady of Kitchener. the of out He noted that one of major areas concern play," said Coach Gowing. will be the defensive The team lost this year corps. "We have the experience. The guys have been JaneGrimmer Soccer Marc two standouts, Larry Ruccin and Lyons, to through the pressure of a championship. They know

and will not be an from is a banner finding replacements This third year biology student Brampton having graduation what it takes to be successful. If we can get enough

her third of the season task. season for the lady Hawks as she tallied goal easy of them committed to that goal, we'll be very com- like that can't really be replaced. You in a crucial 2-2 draw with Windsor. "Players petitive."

I I M atmosphere TWISTIYHAUSEN

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1:00 - p.m. 5:00 p.m. (Closed Wednesday) BUSINESS HOURS: Monday-Thursday & Sunday -11:30a.m.-lO p.m., Friday & Saturday 1:30 am-2:00 a.m. ItS*- 1 We accept cash certified cheque or 18 Soorts THE CORD Ihuradmy, October 4 199a Men on sports: Smyth picks

by Jim Lowe ods. Quinn did in his heyday. They're -Next week, the Norris Division. 3) Winnipeg Jets PREDICT IT: Dave Liptrott LOS ANGELES KINGS big, bad and ugly but, without a WE 4) Edmonton Oilers of decent Flames Adam Holt As if this team geezers winger to play alongside AH 1) Calgary 5) Los Angeles Kings Cord Sports weren't bad enough, they will Bure, the Pacific Pounders will 2) Vancouver Canucks 6) San Jose Sharks

have the loss of have a time defending the Edmonton Oilers This week, "Men on Sports" now to cope with tough 3)

Consid- faith. Jets JL Jets embarks upon a four-part preview hockey's greatest player. 4) Winnipeg 1) Winnipeg the team's WINNIPEG JETS Los Vancouver of the upcoming NHL season. We ering the high price of 5) Angeles Kings 2) Canucks the The Jets of begin our journey in the once talent, "Lounge Lizard" Barry are a type team 6) San Jose Sharks 3) Calgary Flames

that will either run with the Oilers mighty Smythe Division; the Melrose could very well be the away 4) Edmonton Vancouver home of beheaded Kings, high first coaching casualty of the new Smythe Division, or rival San DLI) Canucks 5) Los Angeles Kings 2) Flames Jose Sharks flying Jets and relit Flames. season. Jose for loses. The Russian Revo- Calgary 6) San

Paul Coffey, who is nothing lution that the portagers are un- CALGARY FLAMES: more then a human pylon in his dergoing is an all or nothing ef- Hawk rugby win At the end of the 1990/91 sea- own end, is their best defen- fort. Evgeny Davydov could ei-

of the Jari last season's ther be son, the Flames were one ceman. Kurri, a household name by by Jana watson

NHL's elite franchises. They had biggest financial bust, must Christmas, or cleaning homes for Cord Sports

Hawk had and down week with a command- Cliff Fletcher (hockey's version rebound for the Kings to be re- minimum wage. Varsity Rugby an up

Thomas Sandstrom is on followed by a defeat on of Buddha), a tremendous string spectable. Winnipeg does have great ing victory Wednesday crushing Saturday. Wednesday Saw the Brock visit the Hawks at Lexington of winning seasons and a roster expected to pick up the slack this goaltending; Essensa will rival Badgers

Luc Robiltaille will excel as but Patrick for the field. so deep that Doug Gilmour was a year. not oust Roy the and Vezina this The Badgers were bowled over from start never posed a third line centre. usual. year. threat to the Hawk offense. Even with the disastrous Gary SAN JOSE SHARKS aggressive Andrew McKee and Chad Im- NOTES: Early trys were scored by Oliver. Leeman - Gilmour trade, the It boggles the mind as to why SHORT

Cavil on a kick made the score bad San Jose -A Laurier team Bill pressive Kicking by Brynn penalty Flames really should have done any team as as including Keller 13-7. With of could be as popular as these Teal Kubas and Reinhardt on better last year. a cast with the The bottom line would have had U of T The Badgers were kept to their lone try well-played players that includes Joe Marauders are. Saturday increased their lead with fran- the Blues. Laurier defensive maneuvers. The Hawks by an- Nieuwendyk, A 1 Maclnnis, Gary is, as any expansion singing Demeris that these Ptaszek makes other seven with a try by promising first player Trevor Roberts and especially Theo chise, guys sucked, -"Classic" Stef year convert Cavil. The final suck and will continue suck. "Rocket" Ismail look and a by Brynn score on Wednesday Fleury, the chances are that the to boring. and Pat Falloon -Dave Robbie Alomar afternoon was 20-7. lowly Flames will only get better. Ray Whitney Winfield, in decent and Joe Carter all deserve to win were unraveled for the club on Saturday a road EDMONTON OILERS will make a combo up Things varsity

but none a lock to MVP honours, will. trip against Carleton. Ever since Peter Pockling- front, but this team is have Hawks seemed this -Lxt's hope we never to suf- The never to come together as a team ton's lust for cash sent Wayne finish 22nd out of 24 teams. Get

fer through another "Battle of the weekend and as a result were trampled by a score of 42-7. Gretzky to La-La Land, the Oilers with it, trendoids, this team rots. CANUCKS Sexes" tennis match. The single Laurier try was scored by Kieth Butler and converted have been a team in transition. VANCOUVER Messier should consult Canucks a lot -Mark Cy by Roily. First, it was the Great One, then it The surprised Sperling before playing without a The second team continued their winning season with victories was Messier and Fuhr, now, of people last year, as they their helmet. against both Brock and Carleton this week. Damphousse and Murphy are pushed and shoved way to -Miami could have added the Hawk by Tony Hymers and Ted Smith and the division crown. Pavel Impressive play captain gone going, respectively. Smythe missing Bowl link earlier led the club team to victory against a tough Brock squad. Bernie Nicholls, the Golden Bure, despite being an annoying Super this week, Pro Bowler Keith Carleton only managed to score on a penalty kick against the Boy from Haliburton, is a mere little knat, is verging on super-

Jackson. Hawks on Saturday, final score of the game 17-3 for Laurier. shadow of his former self. Shayne stardom. Kirk McLean will be "Summit on The for the teams are this at one and his fine -Didn't watching the next games rugby Saturday Corson will make an impact, if he hard pressed to repeat Ice" make and feel three PM at home Trent. Hawks play their home games at to hit of last you tingle against can shake the compulsion performance year. field. good all over. Lexington Moe's Tavern in between peri- This team plays like GM Pat

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and (un a storm I Entertainment •••page 24 page 21

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— — I— LONG Teenage Head and Goddo are at Stages tonight.

Spirit of the West play the Commercial Tavern in 15. Maryhill on Oct.

Marillion play the Phoenix on the fifteenth. LIVE KISS!

Ex-Triumph frontman Rik Emmett is at Stages on

the seventeenth.

Brian nineteenth because by Kruuk Hide your chickens on the Their music loud, their KMFDM will be collecting souls and eating fowl at was and their flash- Fed Hall that night. energy was high bombs were plentiful, as rock and

roll KISS rolled their Erasure has added a third show to their previous legends show into Maple Leaf Gardens on O'Keefe Centre dates. They're now playing Oct. Eleven thousand 22,23 and 24. Saturday night.

fans showed their dedication to

the band that has become an in- The Skydiggers are at Stages on the twenty-fourth.

stitution to millions over the last

nineteen Ex-Killing Joke members, Murder Inc. play the years. Blinding explosions ac- Opera House on Oct. 27. companied KISS' entrance to the "Crea- show for the opening song 54:40 are back to play Stages on the twenty-ninth. tures of the Night", and from

God's there the pace was set. With a Also playing on the twenty-ninth are gift to

theme of a holocaust New wit and fun, Moxy Fruvous. They're at U ofW's post

York, KISS' focused on a Humanities Theatre. stage giant bust of the Statue of

the Liberty. An alternative jism-fest has been pegged for Ma- During the song ''War Skydome "Pumpkin-bowl" on Halloween night chine", the face of the lady of jus- featuring The Jesus and Mary Chain, Curve and

tice crumbled to reveal a Spiritualized. apart ————————— 1 3 menacing metallic skull. Lasers tongues and testicles still intact, KISS still rule and fire the show for Santana and Third World play at the Skybowl on frequented

of the as do with auch Nov. 1. many songs they also showcased, as "Unho- more than fit the bill. He felt so KISS every tour. ly" and "Domino". comfortable with his role that

The band played their Bassist and vocalist, Gene his drum solo, Megadeth blow into the International Centre on songs during he broke and each Suicidal Tendencies. very tightly tune was Simmons, was at his tongue wag- out the harmonica and played Nov. 16 with openers bursting with energy. Among the ging finest as he brought the Gar- "Oh, Suzanna" while keeping for this KISS Out Sister might be at the highlights ap- dens to a deafening roar several pace with his bass drums. And so you know: Swing the several 10. Sebastian Bach married pearance were songs times; including when he per- Opening bands Trixter and Phoenix on Nov. got that they rarely play formed his infamous firebrca- Faster both received and Skid Row is putting out an EP of covers in- anymore Pussycat

from their enormous catalog. thing act at the end of "Fire- warm from the crowd. cluding KISS, Ramones and Rush stuff. New discs responses Such KISS Klassics "Hotter each NWA's as house". However, it was clear that the are due out by November from of

Than Hell", "Watchin' You" and Lead singer Paul Stanley, was audience, of whom were Eazy-E, Ice-T, L.L. Cool J and Ice-Cube. And many "Christine Sixteen" were per- also in high gear and had the donned in the traditional KISS also, Freddie s dead. formed for the first time in crowd in the of his hand palm make-up, were there only to see Toronto in than from the KISS hit the more ten years. moment the rock and roll Gods that arose

It obvious that he The two hour set which cov- stage. was from the 70's.

ered in- loves frontman. All in close to thirty songs also being a all, KISS put on a bet-

cluded all of the standards like A word should also be men- show than have in —RECOMMENDED^— ter they years about "Rock and Roll All Nite", "De- tioned newcomer Eric and to the delight of their hordes

troit Rock "Love Gun" and who has some shoes to of fans City", Singer big proved that they have no THE DEADWATER, PRIN "Lick it Several from fill in replacing the late Eric Carr. intentions of it Up". songs calling quits any- CESS CINEMA OCTOBER the new album "Revenge" were Saturday he proved that he can time soon. Long Live KISS! 14,7PM Interested in seeing some lo- Clinton's "fumerism" cal footage, loacal talent, and I LU maybe even yourself? If so, DEAD- =* recommend THE |——. highly caustic and hilarious WATER, playing October 14, at

L the Princess Cinema. 7pm, at by Pat Brethour / *14 \ This original Canadian drama A fumerist visited Waterloo's

was written, produced, and [ Theatre of the Arts on Sunday direced by Waterloo'ean' Peter V 111 I night. I Conrad. It was filmed throughout The person wasn't an arsonist. 'I Waterloo Region in July of this y* The visitor wasn't a Quebecois includes over 100 local LO Li year, and chain smoker, either. 1 21 actors and production personnel. The person was Kate Clinton, Apparently, there are even I-- American fumerist. A fumerist is, who don't some people even of course, a feminist-humourist. know they're in it, so keep your A less confusing term for Kate * be star al- eyes peeled, you may a Clinton would be...fucking ready! hilarious. Lucie Zima--Cord Staff Clinton began performing her acerbic brand of political comedy

in 1981, shortly after Ronald

Reagan arrived in Washington. — — OVERHEARD if he Reagan's long gone now (as wasn't all the time) but Kate file pic J Clinton is still around, talking / "If life is a highway, then why am always road- deals with the con- favourite, taboo, topic: about subjects that most (sometimes) previously kill?" of tabs should have for- mainstream comics won't touch. cerns the gay world: the ram- "Maxipad

You like 'Use the Clinton doesn't hide the fact pant homophobia of this sum- tunes. know, Pat in Brethour, bloodied animal She's mer's convention is word cocksucker five times that she's gay. proud to be Republican the best mixed company today.'". out. In fact, her press package example.

reads "Out is In". Her humour Menstruation is another (cont. on pg*2oj 20 Entertainment THE CORD Thursday, Ootobmr 4 lian

Ben Elton funny, creative

their intelligence. As he puts it, Nothing too complicated, just a other colourful characters on a Age' were they plucky little "if Albert Einstein had in to been hydrogen engine. Needless to say dying earth caught up a plot so Davids using wit and cunning

and bad bizarre it almost that mugged by Sylvester Stallone, he it has big implications for seems possible. overcome the Goliath was would probably have got his head oil companies and car manufac- And throughout it all, Elton the population of Cambodia?" kicked in. It is to be profoundly turers and, last but not least, those throws forward fantastic ideas Then there are the whales, that Stallone is like he had million hoped Sylvester nations whose entire economy a of them. He creatures with huge brains who at the end the the not, of day, able to depends on oil exports. reinterprets story of David are presumed to be less intelligent

claim intellectual over Gridlock is full of humour not and Goliath and claims it should than humans. Elton states that this superiority Einstein." be no that David won to mention action, including a surprise is all wrong. Whales are platonic he had While Elton seems to take fifty-five billion dollar ransom since superior weapons but they are also more intelligent: at business Elton be many swipes big (and and a solo-attack on a corporate technology (a slingshot). intelligent enough to platonic their by-product, pollution) he is headquarters by a paraplegic with writes that this sets a dangerous and live on this world without with wheelchair "When few hundred no more pleased their a gadget-equipped precedent. a threatening it. If they face near antithesis. he is USAF to 'bomb of Instead, worried even MacGyver would envy. flyers attempted extinction at the hands power- Cambodia back into the Stone by it and writes, "The appropria- Even so, Gridlock is nowhere ful humans it says nothing about tion of radical thinking by lazy, near as funny, creative or

self-obsessed hippies is a public thought-provoking as Elton's first relations disaster that could cost novel, Stark, which warns on its the earth." backcover, "If you're facing the Although these quotes seem richest and most disgusting con- more than have to do philosophical funny spiracy in history, you there is good reason: the humour more than stick up two fingers cannot be out Stark is the selectively picked and say 'peace'." type Jim Boyce of Stark because it is embedded by of first novel that experienced in the plot, the narration, in and is the ten Who can make environmental writers envy among Elton's many anecdotes and in disaster funny? best I have ever read. the minor characters he intro- Stark is Ben Elton. It's hard to say what duces, from Gordon Gordon, the Elton's last two novels, Stark about without giving the plot dimwitted and misdirected Nazi It's about and Gridlock, have both taken on away. something youth, to Chrissy, the journalist the "green" theme with amazing dastardly being built in the desert who is the tail of the con- Australia the on success. Gridlock is the most of Western by spiracy, to Walter, a hippie so in world (the recent offering and explores what richest people the bluntiy and innocendy honest that is It's happens when a machine that Stark consortium). about a he is hilarious. All these combine

— — of not-so-rich supposed to free us the car small group people, to make Stark refreshingly funny, disables us. including some half-hearted en- I creative and contemporary. sug- The novel centres around an vironmentalists, a Vietnam vet this gest you buy or borrow ex- invention by scientist Geoffrey and two Australian aboriginals, cellent novel if can find it. If do you Pearson and the attempts by finding out and trying to then, and then, Grid- businessman Sam Turk to steal something about it. Between not, only try

dozen lock as a substitute. and sell it. What is the invention? these two groups are a

Clinton in, Bush out

(cont. from pg.l9) From the above comments, Kate

to be the Kate Clinton's routine is unique in Clinton might seem stereotypi- humourless feminist. If that it doesn't accept male domination of cal angry, you

couldn't be more One of the best thought that, you 93? as a in society given. [and

funniest! examples is her elbow-nudging wrong.

ofmen who expect women to carry con- She doesn't scream at her audience.

doms for them: "Fine, then women who She doesn't even badger people yell and should be able to walk up to a man her out in the middle of performance.

'I Can I have a just my period. as say got Clinton actually went so far to ask the Yeah." tampon?' audience what topic they wanted to hear The are an easy target Republicans about next. with her for any comic, but Clinton, When Clinton performs, feel like Pat you deadly aim, is scathing. Clinton on table sitting across a cafe from I you're Buchanan: "He's a disgusting pig. her chatting—while she decimates the wouldn't piss on him if his guts were on world's hypocrisy and stupidity with im- fire." [Buchanan gave a blatantly mensely funny accuracy. homophobic speech at the recent Repub- the risk Out may be in. But, at of lican convention], Clinton on George didn't stating the horribly obvious, you done Bush: "The most honest thing he's Clinton's have to be gay to enjoy Kate Bush." Clinton is to puke. My ass, your performance. "A on Barbara Bush: blue blood pit

bent. bull." You just had to be a little I I GRAD PHOTOS will betaken in Room P2005/2013 — IHHHH

I PETERS BUILDING I

I will be I JOSTENS on campus

I OCT. 19 - OCT. 30 I

RESTAURANT I I SIGN UP TODAY AT THE INFO CENTRE

/4ut&eHtic Cvc* 'POft#,. I 1 THERE IS NO OBLIGATION TO PURCHASE PORTRAITS I -2 0* THandttefd, ■ PHOTO'S ARE USED FOR KEYSTONE AND COMPOSITES I

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Octotmr a, I—X Entertainment nw«*w 21

Ray Lyell plays it honest, Laurier plays its apathy

Chris Skalkos huge joint that must have dear Ouija by weighed five pounds she said Success doesn't come easy. they found under the seat of my have to a Sometimes you pay that car. I said lady, thing it. Dear Ouija, high price to achieve very wouldn't even fit under the seat. Please help us. We are utterly distraught and don't know which But whatever it costs Ray Well, they told us to get going but to turn; we don't know whether our pants are on or off. A burn- and his five-piece, way Lyell it wasn't long before 1 figured out ing question of great social and political consequence is stretching Hamilton based rock band to that they must have planted that our to the limit (even in the seats can see the won't friendship people cheap reach their success, it cost joint in the car to get us to con- strain). Our constant debates on the issue are beginning to wear the their integrity. them fess to it so I wrote a about song of civilization thin and fear violence result. You must in veneer we may is a key ingredient Integrity it" added before Lyell digging advice and will follow it be the decisive one: we trust your implicitly formula for success Ray Lyell's into his next number. no matter what. Please tell us if AXL ROSE stuffs his white spandex? and it was prominently displayed Even though most of his We won't rest until we have the answer. at during his live performance originals didn't seem to strike a Yours 'till the sock falls out, The Turret last week. familiar note with the crowd Kaycee The the first live act the concert, Lyell refused to bow to pres- Dear Kaycee, in Wednesday night bar-tune a regular sures of doing "typical don't be You both the Stu- My humble servants, silly. are right. Everyone line-up organized by covers". col- knows that AXL ROSE does not need to stuff his spandex. He has dent's Union, was greeted by Instead is content to deliver his In is from his butt fat implanted on private. a sense, there but for Lyell honest of him- lagen only seventy people an representation down those white spandex even though he may not well have been seven something fake it may as self and his music, no matter how stuff them. hundred. Despite the lack of an showed at his necessarily many people up gig Your's till Kim Basinger's lips deflate, audience, staged a show him Lyell or what people would expect would not sacrifice his Ouija. that genu- to play.

for music or his desire to ine love Self-integrity takes a higher Dear Ouija, time I eat beans I, well perform. priority for Lyell than selling I have this horrible problem. Every baked acoustic for know! friends all hate it. I wish I could control in- Playing an guitar himself or his music. you My my most of the who de- credible for this food, but I can't. Oh Ouija, please night Lyell, Sticking to your guns seems cravings gassy

his music "rock with a horrible If I don't have an answer scribes as to be getting tougher for give me a solution to my problem. offered mix of all friends and twist", a when fast I think I'm going to lose my especially my country pic: Lesley Thompson musicians like Ray Lyell vocal twangy guitars and raucous performing for university boyfriend. harmonies his during all-original write about. audiences, who more and more, Sincerely,

which leaned on bor- of All Out set heavily "I was trying to cross the crave the underground sound Gassed

from his 1989 debut LP bands. singles der a few years ago during alternative However, Lyell Dear All Gassed Out,

Ray Lyell And The Storm. Ronald Zero Tolerance doesn't feel like he's competing You know sometimes I think omniscience is stretched Reagan's my being to

music that when the customs that kind of music. I into "I usually write program against the limit until run easy answers like this one. Your love for this

from look at three is into comes personal experience, people took a long- "Your only competition food may actually bring you great wealth. You can enter yourself things I believe in, things I've haired musicians in an old car and people who don't give you a a 'tooting' competition and win lots of envious friends. You'll make done" explained the self-effacing said PULL OVER!" Lyell recited chance" Lyell said. your boyfriend proud. Your passion may also actually work toward

inter- introduce "We've made crooner during a pre-show an anecdote on stage to probably every your benefit when you're not competing. People can hire you to gas Bullet". in book" admits view. a song called "Bite The mistake the Lyell out all their enemies.

in make a After a fifteen year jog the "A mean looking customs "but this is the way you Good luck smelly,

in music industry Lyell has a lot to agent came and waving one living." Ouija. Meet the Author || I

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COMING TO YOUR MAILBOX

SOON I l V W . GUIDE TO CANADA'S Con I / se»«. PROPOSED JfetSH05 / CONSTITUTIONAL / „ CHANGB I

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Get all the facts!

Canadians want more information Many say they October before answering the referendum question on 26.

Between October 9-12, households throughout the

will that country receive an 8-page summary pamphlet

contains another publication - the entire unedited Constitutional Agreement, reached in Charlottetown,

for this information in mail August 28. Please look your

it that make and take the time to read so you can a

decision the referendum. truly informed on upcoming

If haven't received this you publication by October 13, call the toll-free number below

and will be sent to home. a copy your 1-800-561-1188 ranaHa |7i Deaf or hearing impaired: Vydl lCXvlCX 1-800-465-7735 THE cord Entertainment 23 Octo*~ * *"»

Black for the record Water Draw a classic feizal always by valli

"Un- and but flam- For the record, Queen's queer degenerate a alumni of WLU and Bricker is CD is by Steve Doak a due for release in the mid- Pressure" is one of the boyant performer who pushed the der descendant of the man after dle of November. It will be com- limits of the and The local band Black Water ever written. Fur- stage studio. greatest songs whom the residence is named. As prised of original tunes written by Draw to a sold-out crowd that Freddie Mer- Likewise, "Radio Gaga" is now a played ther, I think well, the band features Mckinnley Hale, LaFrance, and Mckinnley, brilliant at Wilf's on Saturday night. From untimely death was sad commentary on the state cury's on guitars, who has played with some of which were performed the riffs of "Take it the of communication. opening also a profound loss to Yeah, right. and such notables as Stevie Ray on Saturday. Black Water Draw Easy" to the classic "Old Time world. In life, Freddie faced a harsh rock Vaughan. is about having fun and has much Rock'n'Roll," they entertained But I tell the events and unforgiving media who gotta ya, Black Water Draw's first potential for success. and excited the audience. Doing like his thrived on his accom- since his death, martyr- knocking the band of the down and mostly cover-tunes, put dom and the resurgence plishments highlighting in a mood with and shal- his failures. In threw everyone good band, are both creepy death, they classics from the him mourned for his loss mostly low. parties, seventies, when "musicians didn't When he died, Mercury was and applauded his resilience.

feel the need to make a but and Is it is point, cast as a great showman just me or something to make the crowd with that kind of "read only enjoy someone to look up to and revere. wrong my themselves. I if Similarly, Queen took on new life lips" hypocrisy? mean you Black Water Draw has a with his death. Their back hate him then hate him and if you sound like John Cougar Mellen- catalogue started flying off the love him then love him—don't camp combined with an Earth, shelves and "Bohemian Rhap- wait until he's dead to decide; it's Wind and Fire influence and rude. a sody" became an anthem for, just plain nineties' perspective. It seemed to well, Bohemians everywhere. But then again, that kind of be what was needed to enter- adoration is just Well, it's a short memory in- graveside nothing tain the crowd, largely made up deed that the music industry and new. Elvis was a bloated tribute of alumni who were here for fans alike have. Years before his to American excess and musical

when he bit it but homecoming. illness became obvious or public, bankruptcy The band features an ex- who would know it the he critics and fans were calling Mer- by way traordinary amount of versatility and lionized after his death? In cury a degenerate were citing was and individual talent. "Black Vel- life he himself on film examples of homosexual excess. prostituted vet" provided the opportunity for When the video for "I Want to but, once dead, Clambake became

a showcase of Janet LaFrance's Break Free" aired, featuring an example of classic Americana. soulful, enrapturing voice. Their Mercury in drag, sales went flat Gimme a break. what version of "Crossroads" included for the band. So it would seem that a gripping sax solo by Kevin new material or creative genius With releases like the disco- Brown. Fred Hale alternated be- can't do, the all-powerful forces influenced "Hot Space" and the tween acoustic and electric guitar of death and vacuous comedies late-eighties vinyl dung "The while doing most of the lead sing- can; namely resuscitate dead Works", Queen were long written ing. Shawn Bricker's proficiency careers. off; or so it seemed. on the drums was shown off dur- For the record, do the dead a what with the rock world "Hand Jive." John But favour--hate them in death the ing Mckinnley the several being such a ghoulish place (seen filled out sound with same way you did when they

Elvis or Jim anywhere lately?) exciting guitar solos. were alive. Being dead doesn't that wasn't the case. The band is based in Water- make people better, it makes only pic: Scott McKay Well, Freddie's no loo. Hale and LaFrance are both longer them quieter.

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Call Costello Jacqueline )(\\ if \ LePAGE Street Waterloo — 258 =m King North, / TtjVf/i'Z fa]( *£) V> E_= r> IB 886-9000 office (I j * \ based on 3 people 24 Entertainment THE CORD Ociabmr Thurmdmy, a, IM| Gordon's great! I LOVE

BNL Canada's first gold-selling independent band. Gordon does an

excellent job of capturing the wild effervescence of BNL's stage and shows and bringing it to tape. The result is a refreshing, playful charming compilation offering lots of diversity, originality, liveliness

and fun.

The band members flawlessly embrace the true acoustic elements of and folk, jazz, pop and country and couple them with original enjoy- A clever to able songwriting that goes from humourous to insightful to

mischievous. Lead singer Steven Page anchors most of the eclectic

mix of songs with his lazy, nasal and at times, incoherent vocals.

Steven, guitarist Ed Robertson, bassist Jim Creeggan, pianist Andy

create Crecggan and drummer Tyler Stewart team up to skillfully

Each member is and at richness and rhythm in each song. quick adept and making sudden tempo shifts in the middle of songs like the jazzy

busy "I Love You" and the swinging "Box Set". Although many with like the hit "Enid" seem rather brief, are flavoured songs they appropriate doses of fiddles, accordians, bagpipes, congas and horns, like which add texture and variety. These instruments enhance songs "If Had $1 000 the whimsical wishful-thinking, shopping-list song I

little chockful of labels 000" and "Crazy", a snappy tune describing

the insane.

Barenaked Ladies are well-known for their fun-loving attitude and

childlike cheekiness. They're both evident in "Be My Yoko Ono", the

that birth the BNL and the ex- single gave to sensation, uncannily / cellent "New Kid On The Block", a biting parody of the mega-star

I be Johann teens. I'm a New Kid On The Block/Though may not it Sebastian Bach/ There's no need to be afraid of us/Though just

might be your daughter on our bus. The fast and furious "King of Bedside Manor" is also a clever track

look at a worthy of a listen. "Box Set" is a swinging tongue-in-cheek

broke musician reduced CD box sets once popular, now to releasing

commercial to make ends of shit material and selling songs as jingles beats the frantic meet. But for sheer hilarity, nothing energetic and wish could "Grade Nine", which takes us back to that year we all we

and them forget. I've got a red leather tie a pair ofrugger pants/I put

dance/Dad said I have to be home on and went to the high school by Heaven. eleven!Aw, man, I'm gonna miss Stairway yo deliver serious ballads condoms are But the Ladies can also slow down and rich, Lifestyles

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and the sad "What A Good Boy" are harmonious and beautifully largest condom manufacturer ethereal and"The is a by George DzsudzsaK and Chris Honsberger wrought. "Blame It On Me" is pleasantly Flag" in North America. inter- ballad of and worthless love. Walk into a record store these days and you'll see something melancholic yet powerful pained 30 mix of and dark Gordon slows down esting. Occupying the #1 best seller position amongst the 20 or An excellent light moments, HMV Michael down and BNL oozes recent releases covering an wall are not U2, Jackson, and picks up, slows you picks you up.

without to clicheed Guns N' Roses or other mega-musicians. It's those wacky, zany originality, confidence and competence resorting honest, Barenaked Ladies with Gordon. lyrics and conventional structure. Fun, harmless, catchy,

crafted and executed, Gordon is a tri- For those anxious for new BNL material, it is the much anticipated smart, lively, melodic, carefully worthwhile addition col- to their successful self-titled cassette. It for Barenaked Ladies and a to your follow up wildly independent umph which lection. contains eleven new songs plus four from the cassette made Vega's got bad karma

Moissev Massacre 11. vious music. I feel though by Alex Makes Noise", it is not hard to Sorority folksy send realize that Suzanne has I do not want to to tell that as a society we can a In her last life, Suzanne Vega Vega presume movies how- to Suzanne To the ill-fated quite possibly lost all of her her what to watch, message Vega. was a passenger on but think be is safe karmic marbles. this al- ever, one cannot help buy this album would only en- Titanic. I assume that it to Lyrically,

that Bambi would be a her to avoid what she that she perished in the freez- bum is about as weird as it gets. I perhaps couraging say For the love of life! GET your little more her needs to do: ing waters during that life. How- wonder if Suzanne failed her speed. really I who believes PROFESSIONAL HELP. So the Buddhists Achievement Test at the am not a person ever, she was, as English and in overt and by no stand united with me avoid a lot of BAD beginning of university and was censorship say, carrying is this album particularly this...l'm sure that everyone's KARMIC BAGGAGE. Instead of never told. Perhaps it would ex- means in to It would be karmic credit rating is hanging being reincarnated as a bug, the plain some of her lyrics. I'm sure dangerous anyone. fans of her the balance. karmic forces that be decided that that a trip to the Writing Centre quite confusing to pre- she should be truly punished. In- would have helped her cause. For

folk is for some of t stead, she came back as a example, (this my

in "fans" who don't think that I singer without a niche the write about the music that market. enough

I So here she is in 1992, riding a am reviewing—pay attention!)

different kind, ironi- from "Blood When blood, I Titanic of a Sings": 'Ills OFF own! It I I cally named 99.9 F, which is sees blood!Of its sings to

It YOUR NEXT PURCHASE quite opposite to the frigid waters see itself again/ sings to hear A BOX OF 12 CONDOMS she died in last time. Will her the voice its known!lt sings to J OF j career end on this note? Probably recognize the face...

in for a not just yet. You see, someone Excuse me interjecting

a into Suzanne Vega's her (probably also having little reality I I camp Available at aU SURE AS bad karmic life) realized that in world, but, BLOOD It there is a HELL DOES NOT SING! : today's music scene &

oozes, (if cut from MR DEALER: I sure thing. If can dance to it, sprays,spurts | you of Canada will reimburse the lace value tnis . Ansell and tee, provided I the splatters ■ our it will sell. jugular), seeps, coupon, plus specified handling the of . it from customer on purchase ■ you accept your stains known to 1 condoms Other ■ release of "Blood leaves the worst box of 12 Hence, the one Lifestyles Wlure to send in, ■ applications constftutes frsu

blood on this album, one must the simple law of the music busi- wonder how will sell. seriously just many ness, it rented "Blood times Suzanne Vega has Once you get past THE cord October 9, 1992 Arts 25

YOUNGRENARD by: ARTINGER 1992 26 Comment THE CORD Thurodmy, October M, ltll

Mindless fury

man gets into a brief fight at a bar. A punch or two is exchanged, and the fight is

broken The is escorted The other is also A up. man out by bouncers. person ejected from the bar, by another exit. He walks outside, and waits for his sister, who is

visiting for the weekend.

And then he has the living shit beat out of him.

the One According to victim, the man was tackled and then punched repeatedly. eyewitness said that the THURSDAY, man's head was smashed into a sidewalk, time and Five men were and at least one of them OCTOBER 8, 1992 again. present,

VOLUME XXXIII, ISSUE 8 beat the man repeatedly.

COVER PHOTO: JIM ELKINS The next morning there was a pool of dried blood on the sidewalk. And where have If said Los might this brutal beating have taken place? you Angeles, you're wrong. If THECORD said New outside of the you York, or Toronto, you're wrong. The beating took place at Laurier, just Athletic

Complex on Saturday. The man (who is pictured to the right) was hospitalized and received stitches.

The outcome could have been much worse. But as horrible as this particular incident is, it is only part of A Wilfrid Laurier University Student Publication increased an level of violence at Laurier in the past month. 75 University Ate. West, Waterloo, Ont. N2L 3C5

(519) 884-2990 - Fax: (519) 884-5596 An Asian man was beaten in Turret last and Advertising: (519) 884-5092 the Thursday, was hospitalized. EDITORIAL BOARD A couple from Toronto were EDITOR-IN-CHIEF 1 Pat Brethour harrassed by Laurier students at NEWS EDITOR i Sheldon Page the Saturday Homecoming game. ASSOCIATE NEWS EDITOR Ingrid Nielsen They were pelted with toilet ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR ..Feizal Valli paper, and had the distinct ASSISTANT ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR Jennifer O'Connell ... pleasure of having Laurier stu- SPORTS EDITOR Evan Bailey dents in their faces. PRODUCTION MANAGER Ren6e Ward screaming

GUEST FEATURES EDITOR Vacant And, to cap off all this insanity

with a note of stupidity, someone

STAFF ripped the ivy off the walls of the

Production Assistants: Student Union building. Gail Norton Fred Nichols, Dean of Stu- Classified Co-ordinator Vacant has said that the dents, university assault at If have information regarding this (or any other) Circulation and Vacant you any Filing, ~.. will be taking a tough stance on Laurier, contact John Baal, Chief of Campus Police at 885-3333. Copy Editors Tom Tanner violent offenders. "An assault of

i Vacant this nature is unacceptable and certainly breaches the university's code of conduct," he said. Any and all will be taken the Dean's Office. CONTRIBUTORS: nteasures up to recommending expulsion by about the The Dean have the univer- Hope O'Heron, Craig Kelley, Brian Kruuk, Jim Boyce, Chris What will the administration be doing increased violence? prefers to is another Skalkos, Steve Doak, George Dzsudsak, Chris Honsberger, Alex sity and students work together to deal with the problem. Nichols said that stepped-up security

Moiseev, The Omniscient Adrienne — but he doesn't the to become an "armed Incredibly Ouija, Hodgin, potential response want campus camp". Darren Andrew Thomson, Steve Tracy, Doug Morton, Mahaffy, He's right. Simple human decency should suffice to keep people from being assaulted. You might think Mike Loeters, Latour, Waters, Patty Chippa, Stephan Carey — that at a university — an institution of higher learning people would have learned that fighting solves noth- Lianne Jewitt, Lee Hewitt, Phill M. Kinzlnger, Amit Kapur, Kevin ing. That lesson escapes some people. Watson, Mark Hand, Scott McKay, Wendy Jackson, Mary Burns,

— — I who administered the To those people and use the word 'people' in its very loosest sense beating DenyS DaivS, Wladyslaw Kinastowski outside of the Athletic Complex, I'd like to ask you this: what satisfaction did you get? Production: Eric Green, Brian Craig, John McHutchion, Ryan Did feel like a man when saw the blood start to flow? Did smashing someone's head into a Feeley, Paula Kalijarvi, Lynn McCuaig, Karen Irvine, Scott you you

sidewalk soothe somehow? Did to consider — even for a moment — exactly what you did Weforgotyournamesorry, Jonathan Batch, Heather Mundell, your ego you stop have will. Wendy Masters, Scott McKay, Shawn Hodges, Rick Cole, (and could done) to another human being? No, you didn't and you probably never Julie Niki Westman it? Wendy Jackson, Allison Youlton, McAlpine, For the rest of us, though, the question remains: do we accept the violence, or reject Do we shrug our

Photo: Jim Keith Darren — Do Doug Morton, Elkins, Robinson, Myhes, shoulders about someone having their head smashed into the pavement or do we start to give a damn?

Ken McGuffin, Jason Harmer, Scott McKay the you just ignore screams?

when to And if you do, who'll be around to help you it's your turn scream? STUDENT PUBLICATIONS TREASURER Rosemary Banks Editorial by Pat Brethour, Editor-in-Chief SYSTEMS TECHNICIAN Vacant

PHOTO MANAGER Chris Skalkos author and do not necessarily reflect those of the rest The opinions expressed in this editorial are those of the Photo Technicians: ...,.Eda DiLiso Student Publications. of The Cord staff, or its publisher, WLU Graphic Arts Technician Kathleen Honey

ADVERTISING

Jamie Neilson Manager ..

Ad Production Vacant Sales Vacant Don't laugh at fear

BOARD OF DIRECTORS Dear Editor, It is frustra- Martin Walker, President few a occurance A nights ago, very disturbing to see Brian Gear Sean McLean ting guys happened to one of our roommate's. Since then we when Allan Lee Vacant laugh

have not felt safe in our own home. Dawna Maclvor Vacant they don't real-

Being second students, we were excited Christina Craft (ex officio) year ize the effects LETTER OF

house, house -- one about moving into a our this sick that and is really glad stag- The Cord continues its regular publishing year without dons or We were finally on our parents. stranger had on take refreshment is fast enough that we can gered production night running but THE WEEK own! we are on our own, we can't Technically all of us. submitted and by eight breaks.. Any Letters to the Editor must be typed double-spaced be alone. This was further reinforced the other 12:00 for the But, we can We don't feel Wednesday, Octobcr 14, at pm following publication. number, and I.D. that the author's real name, telephone only print letters bear night. safe in our own and become the of The Cord we room- number All submissions property- At am last Monday one of our (if applicable). 2:30 night, yard. We don't will submissions. Furthermore, The Cord reserve the right to edit or refuse any mates looked out her window and saw a man racist feel safe in our own home. He has taken all of our of the considered to be sexist, or not print anything in the body paper while looking at her. The police were violation of our masturbating as a or which is in freedom and of and left us nervous homophobic jn nature by the staff voting body, feelings security this still be the man had fled. We were told that most ill-conceived submitted may called, but code of ethics or creed. The pieces and scared. bear tireless be and that there in the letters section, and we'll even repetition. man probably wouldn't caught in- printed It's not funny that we had motion lights Canada and $15.00 term for addresses within Cord rates are per of men our subscription were most likely a number "scoping" stalled and all three have been tampered with. It's find all about Laurier? $18 outside the country. And how else are you going to out are living here. We house because there eight girls in and accessible. The editor-in- not funny that this man has been seen our back- The offices of The Cord are incredibly friendly knew this as we have already seen a num- the most ex- already now that is The Cord is by It's that he hasn't chief is much better his cold gone. printed yard by neighbours. not funny around house. The the Reporter. ber of unwanted intruders our cellentpeople at Cambridge been caught yet. next because we're all home for until The Cord again Friday, going also said that there is nothing we can do publishes police our When you seem to trivialize all of the News you laugh Nyah. Kudos for this issue go to almost everyone, even Thanksgiving. is - feel like ducks. this man caught so we sitting Would if were afraid to The Cord is feelings. you laugh you Editor (who doesn't for a beer after done). stay this? It is to Now, are we writing every guy Association, why at to down to be a of the Ontario Community Newspaper walk driveway, The Cprd is member sleep night, your and to those who are a to tell who at this story, memberof Canadian University Press. They wrote letter laughed and a prospective alone?

to a conference the weekend before the country implodes, now. us so. And we're going laughing that situa- We just wanted to let every guy know

too. How can think this is funny? We are you your this Next think before tions like are not funny. time, the of the writer and does not necessarily All commentary is strictly opinion So think friends, sisters, girlfriends. you Student your your to to or WLU Publica- you and remember tell your girlfriends those of the Cord staff, the editorial board, the laugh represent How that it's funny that he was "just jerking off? lock their doors and their blinds. tions Board of Directors. ■ pull He could 75 University Ave. West, do know that was his only intention? Copyright (c) 1992 by WLU Student Publications, you be N2L 3C5. No of this may reproduced armed and He didn't Waterloo, Ontario, part publication easily have been dangerous. Editor-in-Chief. Unless have a cure for the common without permission of the you what's to him from get caught, so stop coming Names withheld cold. , by request back? the cord October a, I—2 Comment 27 thMdM

70's were great

LETTERS TO THE EDITOR >»-•, 1 >THar-" /Wv , ;-w-v . . «B.». i...fr.ag.>112, wt,-. —„.rfTM^.,. ]sear Editor, exactly is Feizal Valli's motive in criticizing musicians What The Cord's Letter 70's and the people who listen to them? Is it his wish to Policy jg from the g

fair of readers of The Cord? Chances are most of F1 • All letters must be submitted with the author's name, student identification alienate a portion

to realize that Feizal does not 70's number and telephone number. were enough enjoy u s perceptive that those individuals he thought with "short term • unless otherwise requested. music. Maybe fl All letters will be printed with the author's name,

needed a reminder, Mr. Valli seems to believe that all memories" Ed • 2:00 for in that week's Letters must be received by Tuesday at pm publication Jp the 70's were useless. I can see that useless musicians from being £j issue.

millions and as it has for all would make you gain great recognition *- pg • Letters must be typed, double-spaced and cannot exceed 400 words. called no and no talent bands of the 70's. the so good of • and P§| The Cord reserves the right to edit any letter, but will not correct spelling js Valli, that off of the 70's and I suggest, Mr. you lay its followers CTj grammar. the trash of the 90's and the who take it and concentrate on people • The Cord reserves the right to reject letter, in whole or part, that is in would be Q any seriously. A criticism of trash bands like Public Enemy violation of existing Cord policies, specifically : letters which contain personal greatly appreciated. rg attacks, or defamatory statements. J['

Lori Kinzinger

Iron Hawk lays a fatty dud

misinformation to undermine this in ment was; "...muscular I applaud the Iron Hawk's at- Dear Editor, to lose weight by sweating noble ideal. member I have endurance, or the ability of your tempt to "paint a complete picture As a faculty saunas or by using "body wraps"

indi- muscles to expand, filling with of fitness issues for the students for several years, enjoyed reading promoted by unscrupulous of noticed blood and the Laurier", however, to be suc- Sincerely, the Cord. I recently a viduals, both of which are of no (hypertrophy) cessful in this endeavour Peter Tiidus entitled "Iron Hawk" value in fat loss and proteins myosin and actin...". they new column potentially be Educa- Muscular endurance could be should more cognisant of the Department of Physical which deals with fitness-related dangerous. Fat is a form of lipid of tion column is which more accurately defined as the potential sloppy research and issues. While this (or oil) and not a protein ability of muscles to sustain work certainly worthwhile and enter- has a completely different chemi-

latest edition (Sept. structure basic or contractions. Muscle taining, the cal (check any repeated Record wheels the in- 24) contained several erroneous chemistry textbook). Additional- hypertrophy is noticeable spins

statements that need to be better ly, fat (or adipose tissue) is not crease in bulk resulting from in- Dear Editor, in creased the explained, particularly a associated with water, its chemi- protein (including "For the record" the column written by Feizal Valli has contained column which aspires to a serious cal structure makes it contractile proteins actin and some arguably valid statement over the past several weeks. Perhaps, educational function. hydrophobic (water repellent) and myosin) content of muscle due to music from the seventies is overplayed and that point is well taken. The first erroneous statement who has seen Italian salad sustained of anyone (several months) the and does tend one's Hearing same thing over over again to get on like waste was; "Fat, any product dressing knows that oil and water weight or power training and not it- nerves. A remarkable example of this phenomenon is the column used to produce energy, can be don't mix. as a result of temporary filling self. excreted and sweated out of the The second erroneous state- with blood. If Mr. Valli continues to complain about the music of the body. Remember fat is largely seventies week after week, is he not guilty of the same annoying water and lipid proteins." redundancy that he complains about? To use his own words, the fat is As a matter of fact, not a Leaf Creed column has "become one big amorphous blob" of bitching that "never waste product but can serve many and never evolves. Isn't enough enough?" Dear Editor, changes useful physiological functions. It's that time of the year again whre people lose their heads and One of which is an energy reserve Chris Donnelly start like Leafs" and "Yeah, I think Wendal's in the form of adipose tissue. Fat saying silly things "go

a shot at the Hart Trophy this year". However, as the voice of cannot be excreted or sweated got that I be the be sanity, let me just say would completely happy if, after out of the body it can only PINK INK Leafs win the it would be noted that I predicted Gilmour to win eliminated by being metabolized cup, but the MVP for Clark. And the scoring tide, save now... (burned as fuel) and its energy b used to perform work in cells The Maple Leaf Creed y DenyS DaivS exercise (check any physiology We believe in Pat Burns, The Almighty, ruler of Leafmania

in textbook). Believing that fat can And the Maple Leafs, our favourite sons, issue that has within the and recent come up gay, lesbian, be sweated out leads to Who conceived Conn and born of the six. people try were by Smythe, original bisexual communities has been that of medi-ethics. Ongoing Who suffered under Harold Ballard, A research from psychological and biological experts

Were crucified by the media, died, and were buried in the basement and Hand continues to bring us closer closer to discovering the of the Norris Division for ten years. cause of sexual preference. Specifically most researchers are looking descended into Hell. talented Surely, they for the cause of homosexuality. This of course is because it is, so to

speak, the abnormality. There are less homosexuals than 1992, they rose again, Dear Editor, But, behold, in the year heterosexuals so the differences are easier to discover. I read with much enjoyment They ascended into Heaven, Some of the results are very interesting. It is believed that there hand of Pat Bums, this week's letters section and Where Don Cherry sitteth at the right are several factors which play into the cause of homosexuality like he shall judge the Scandanavians, had to chuckle when reading the The Almighty, from whence genetics, environmental, and bio-chemical. It is extremely difficult one written by Mike van And the Prairie boys. for researchers to find convincing proof of cause from any one of the Bodegom in reference to Mark We believe in the Leaf Garden church, holy Maple elements currently under research but those that continue to be Hand. communion of the St. John's Leafs, The studied show promise for discovery. Hand is the single most The of Grant Fuhr's sins, forgiveness So where does the issue of medi-ethics come into play? The con- talented writer have. The you The resurrection of Wendal's body, cern lies within the fact that if a cause of homosexuality is found, writer (Mr. van Bodegom) would And the Leafs everlasting. what will be If done with this information? a predisposition can be do better to vent his misplace Amen. discovered in vitro for homosexuality will it become part of the feelings toward Feizal Valli. myriad of tests that pregnant women must go through? If this It is evident that Mr. Valli's be Jenkins predisposition can altered genetically or biochemically would musical Paul taste is not the same as parents be allowed or encouraged to? mine and I respect that. I The is this: is illness issue homosexuality still looked upon as an tolerated the Skynyrd jokes, the or a physical abnormality? According to the World Association of Steve Miller jokes and all his Fans embarrassing Psychiatrists and Psychologists as of January 1, 1993 homosexuality other jokes. But this week he has is be either mental dis- to no longer considered a illness or a treatable gone too far. order (the American Association took off their lists Even if defeat seems inevitable, it homosexuality Meatloaf Dear is a modern legend. Editor, some 23 years ago). is still our as fans Sure the foot- responsibility people only heard one al- During homecoming lesbians, and bisexuals are concerned because we fear that out. If the traffic Gays, bum between the Golden to ride the game (note album not CD) but it is ball game despite the gains we have made in the past fifty of the move- and crowds at the end of the years a classic, from the soulful ballads Hawks and the University of ment we will lose ground if the homophobic nasties decide that they like are to inconvenient for you Cryin' Out Loud, to the rock- Toronto I was rather appalled by game can create a race of heterosexuals. Will and should transfer to purer exclusively gays ing in at- perhaps strains of Bat Out of Hell, the the attitudes of several fans you lesbians become the freaks that we were 20 when we were album York University [crowds at their years ago is a classic. tendance. With five minutes on institutionalized, full of aren't a pumped psycho-pharmaceuticals, given Laurier stan- game surely problem]. Perhaps Mr. Valli people en- the clock, which by hormone and electro-shock We fear We should be proud of our teams treatments, subjected to therapy? joy the seventies because dards is sufficient time to turn a this because of historical We and them one hundred may happen persecution by society. musicians still around ask Western], support played their instru- game [just have as a seen better medi- cent. the outcome of society changes (for or worse) concerning ments then rather fans to leave in mass per Perhaps than using a WLU began would have ethics: test tube and artificial insemination, the abortion of I Saturday's game severely computer. numbers. As a Laurier student, babies. Now we even chose the sex of our children. been different if this had oc- handicapped may Yes, I also like embarrassed this lack of Steppenwolf. was by a non-confrontational I do what is curred. didn't ac- Being person, not venture to say Such actions Surely leaving support for the team. and bad. But John complish anything. good where does the genetic engineering for a better Olliffe do little for the players, in a time society stop, and the atrocities of Hitler's laboratories begin? Seventies Biker essential. Darryl McKenzie All the Way when fan support is 28 Comment THE CORD Thursday, Octotmr t, 1992

Stink stench taints Turret

Rose sells several dif- White a lick full of the elements of nice nauseating of nasal on after the if by Scott McKay per- path leaving Turret. See ferent of fumes is types perfume. Sheep, not an enjoyable experi- destruction, but when you leave that secures the potential bond. If

the Turret sound a horse favorite) and of the cow, (my ence. Your mouth dries out, your Turret you smell like a butt in the future mate enjoys the smell

klaxon when it Calvin Clean's new one Does opens course eyes are burning (still) and it just a beer cup (which I think smells of a cow that smokes and drinks, that advises all who wish I was at White Rose sucks. better than if are in luck! 'Digestion'. plain shit). Perhaps you you that shower the other afternoon to attend, they must day, Thursday What is the of are successful in a From the bottom of point applica- finding poten- my in of nausea? is it I fertilizer tion tial a plethora Why beleive, getting some anyway? Sure you leave a mate, put a little Eau de toilet sinuses, don't stink STINKS. that insist Well what do people on taking for my plants. you smell with swipes at my sense of know? I look down and there was

of floral toxins? I their batteries a bag of sheep shit. was over- I recently read an article about whelmed by the fumes. I had the Professional Canal and all the health hurl. had the Love sudden urge to I the and smoke. I problems related to un- sudden urge to drink

incident. fortunate Runny eyes, a wanted to hit on the cashier, but

to vomit, burning strong urge she was cow and we is not wearing sport a convulsions and game throat, dizziness, would have clashed together. if have the misfortune of you This brings me to another

mutated children. Who think are? head Eric Lindros has become the breeding, point. do you you spin. highest paid by Amit Kapur I have all but one Do realize the devastation experienced you NHL player [at $3.5 million/year] even though he

of these. The difference between I in the I curled in has you would bring to a dog? do was late evening as up never played a regular-season game. Also, Love Canal and the stairwell to often not think it would be very funny Itfront of the television set to watch the Blue Formula-One race car drivers get $12 to 16 the Turret is that Love Canal had to see a dog trying to bite his nose Jay game. As the game progressed, I million in salary alone to drive for the good teams

a much more desirable scent. off because of some STINKS decided the and read- in their Rocket Clemens to pick up newspaper began sport. Finally, Roger gets In the past I have bought my the animals basic article $1286 violating poor ing the sports section. Suddenly an dealing paid a pitch! lovers few bottles of a perfume that and Business Office - I off tuition rights. Sure, you say dogs with hockey millionaires caught my eye, I Hey, can pay my

and on the occasion wear some roll in shit Well times? occasionaly. yes chose to read further. by throwing a ball two

It was cologne myself. apparent they do, but it is not the same shit From that article, I learned that there are 33 mil- And how is this emphasis on athletics affecting al- to me that the cost involved, two three These instead of you are wearing! lionaires in hockey, up from just years our future generations? days doing

was some- though not an issue, On a more is- it started do their kids are hit- contemporary ago. After a while, me thinking, "Why homework, practising dribbling, considered. thing to be sue is the of the environ- much?" stickwork. Minds that could be of problem we pay our sports players so ting, or thinking

How then do Turret patrons ment. The Environmental Pro- how much doc- solutions the economic recession or are Here we grump and groan about to pollution

whom are to be tection Act has laws in- instead turned the dream of that for supposed starving certainly tors make, and we even jet the government to megabucks

students, afford to and come true. we should university against STINKS their covert volved by effectively putting their earning limit at most people never Perhaps

what I would three methods of the clean air. idolize celebrities out of the and dump guess tainting $450 000. However, we cheer and sports start making engineers

bottles of the shit all over their I will these STINKS than scientists that will take this into the 21st admit, are celebrities who get paid many more times doc- country bodies? I will tell The stuff you. smart. They travel in groups, stay tors. And for what? century.

IS shit! Shit is cheap. Sometimes lives and within the confines of buildings Doctors save make society as a whole This isn't to say that athletes are worthless or

shit is free. There is loads of shit and hours of carry extra bottles of better. They are often on call during odd that they don't deserve recognition for their great

be had. Odouress Shitus. Few E.P.A. of- deal of should to the night, and are consumed by a great talents. All I am saying is that perhaps we

Therefore, when the scent ficers would dare such a On the other approach stress for most of their working lives. moderate sports salaries so that they properly I will refer wearers (whom to as dangerous pack for fear of total hand, professional athletes often get months off at a reflect society's values.

'STINKS' this shit in the of work which herein) see olfactory failure. time and are not involved type With billions of dollars being spent on sports,

while out on their excursions, if want to make of at of them be And People, you alters the lives many people, except sports there is a danger ceasing to games.

as much as can. more attractive the take they grab they yourself by bars. once power, greed and money over sports, they

even roll in it addition of do it with who their lives be that They may right a scent, Instead, it is the athletes get will cease to the games they were originally

there. make intended be. some reserve. Having a lover take altered, as some of the salaries they get my to

Sports are real life. Really.

Toronto's think insane. BLUE JAY just imagine what that'll do to Real life isn't scraping togeth- reputation to driving me slowly, slowly about. What with the Visions and their careers, not to mention their er money to survive, and having Argos play- of bloody axes of like bunch of dark mental health. I really worry to go to a food bank just to get ing a amateur geeks moonlight spilling over a

those know? real life is and all (Rocket, ass), there's a and shrieks and about guys, you something to eat, no, my field of terrified

lot at stake for Canada's Jack Nicholson It's not just a game, you must about the American Dream of one greatest of run through my

here. can't an head.... Hand, there's a withJabberMark Hand realize, it's a real life drama. day, if you devote yourself to the city They get Expo Anyways, should know about in the Toronto region And what about Dave Win- game, making it to the major or an Olympics or anything, so few things you beloved time that No wonder so something must be done to North America's most Weare at an important field? This is the first leagues. many prove in lives athletes are ad- the of the world #1: Baseball may nexus point our great bastion of baseball players professional drug to rest that T.O. game. Thing

I has been division win- dicts and alcoholics, the is the centre of the universe look like a bunch of overgrown right now. Of course, mean ever on a pressure really around small baseball. ning team. Talk about nexus must be extraordinary. like we all know it is. oafs tossing a leather obscene Baseball, like all professional points. He's 41 years old now, so Now that's real life. The Yes, the next few weeks are sphere for but it's is as this could be it for the great stress of to pretty damn to and amounts of really sports, very important to me, always having play important me, money,

we've all for- best after to the rest of It comes an intellectual rife with the it should be to any clear-thinking fielder. And hey, your day excrutiating humanity. game, he whacked that and off the the steal, the individual. The Toronto Blue given the time day, on road, forcing down to the crunch now, people. suspense of sacrifice

the into booze. the into home Jays, therefore, are a bastion of shithawk with baseball, you you drugs or Yes, Oh my, how will I ever be fly, sliding plate

and in the know? he Yankee that's life. able with in between all that is good pure I mean, was real to sleep? spikes digging what Good Bill the catcher's fourth and fifth world. then, wasn't he, so can you God, my pal sitting But the best part is, after this the the idea. Thing #2: Last week, they clinched expect? beside me as I write this just there's football, and hockey ribs...you get

Who, in the name of all that is American League East divisional Real life drama, real life reminded me of something! What (gotta love those Leafs, they're That's is Bill? You've title. I must admit, when the last people. That's what professional about women in sports! winning!) and then it all starts all holy, your friend made to him of that is all about. I love it not real life, that's a cruel constant reference out important game sports Damn, fantasy. over again. have I Let's women don't in- while been trying against the Tigers was bagged, so. just hope Damn, I love professional you filtrate baseball like (pathetically) to stitch English wept. Real life is not about people they're trying sports.

words into a column. I That's the fourth time in the sleeping on street grates just to to do with hockey. Can't people Oh yeah. together and Bill would I have like alive in Toronto's winter see that have just wish go last five years wept stay professional sports you of Like the that. Their fourth divisional while half Ontario Hydro's always been about man things, Editor's note: Blue Jay Jabber. It someplace far away.

into the how Andromeda Galaxy, or a big championship. Oh, to win the output goes heating and that, of course, is they sounded innocent. So unlikely to

SkyDome isn't it wonderful You mess with cause slimy rock. Actually, given your Pennant, or, maybe, the World (but must stay. can't anyone any grief, any

that watch baseball EVEN these comments about women in tight Series. This year, they've got to, we can kind of man things, it just heartache. So very unlikely to get the WHEN IT RAINS?!), can me sued or Well, Hand and short skirts, they've just got to, you know? no, real life isn't done. Sure, the ladies lynched. uniforms is in- be better idea. As There's just so damn much at grown men throwing around a wear tight uniforms with short managed to transform an rock might a that's beloved it be the stake. leather ball for millions of dollars skirts and retrieve fouls, nocuous piece on the long as happened to at

We all know the statistics. a year, even if they get one of okay, but to play professionally? Trawna (er...Toronto) Blue Jays bottom of about thirty tonnes of

those serious knuckle that That wouldn't be fair. But of another didactic diatribe. How could one not? injuries just into yet concrete. Fly away, fly away, fly has Morris and them out for a season or two. I from what is real- I he looked too damn Hand. Blue Jabber Look at poor Jack puts course digress thought away Jay

around It's a for heroes, here. when 1 him the been Jimmy Key. They've been dangerous game ly important happy gave topic. summarily stuffed. but still like Mr. with the Jays for all their Pennant ordinary guys just What else is at stake with the Hand, there are a few things and time, me. here? Oh there's you should know. you are race losses. If they lose this you Jays yes, First, the cord Comment 29 Octobf a, 1992

Referendum '92: Vote SHOOTING FROM THE LIP now, ask questions later

being asked by both sides to take scite, a glorified opinion poll. Vlad Kinastowski by But the uncomfortable a giant leap of faith. Are we ready most

the failure of Meech to do that? realization was the fact that both

and its associated hype, I Originally, I had thought the sides were using arguments, por- After of which made I deal. tions incredible swore that would pass Accord was a good Finally, Neither has Canadian constitutional I though, our politicians have got sense. side, however, on The three been able question: Yet here we are, their act together. As I ad- to convincingly present politics. well, from the its case. weeks away mit, I had suffered from constitu- Canada includes... and I'm 'referendum', following tional fatigue. But since mid- I had found some compelling My

debate as avidly as number of conflict- don't the political September, a reasons to vote Yes. I want the I I'm following Jays. guess ing reactions have been this country to fracture. By voting masochistic I'm satisfying some awakened. Yes, I realize that constitutional The streak by flogging myself yet The fact that the legal text negotiations will not stop. Some shots

with this issue. remain be clarified again was unavailable disturbed me. things still to found in that will I've myself The only way we could obtain in- and jurisdictional disputes

of voters known as formation was from continue. someone truly group eligible the media Only

undecided. This was naive would think that one of the and the 'highlights' provided by by voting

In Yes the issue would be not always the case. early Sep- the federal government. I felt as if finally put the Yes tember I was firmly on I was living the movie Bob to rest. I realize side, but have since slipped Roberts - Vote Now Ask Ques- By voting No, also

towards "I don't know". I don't tions Later! The nagging question that the politicians will continue ...everyone except Quebec the convince to vote Yes was: what are these to -- but nature of the ne- want to you guys trying talking Lou Mastrangelo . but I do want to hide? will No matter or No, gotiations change. 2nd year Economics No demonstrate that the issue at hand The referendum is not bind- what those who support say,

the is not as clear as the politicians ing. We are going through the voting No will not preserve

believe. We are A No will be in- would like us to motions of paying for a plebi- status quo. vote

terpreted as the start of the coun- try's divorce. The markets, al-

ready jittery, will further reflect this assumption. the WOMEN WORDS The agreement recognizes self- concept of aboriginal members of the Women's Centre by that the government. We all know native peoples of Canada have Burns by Mary been historically marginalized.

The Charlottetown Accord is a considering the topic of violence against women, the start in addressing this im- is of the crazed good tendency to conjure up an image rapist When balance. in lots. attacking unknown women dark, deserted parking insulted the fit this I'm by Quebecois Actually, only a small proportion of assaults to women nationalist assertion that the na- Canadian women are most to be- category. The reality is that likely tives in a shorter the of their homes. got more span physically or sexually assaulted in "safety" own ...The Penderecki String than the francophones. Equating or 'wife', abuse Although awareness of the prevalence of woman, the of the Quartet. fail understand how the abuse 'plight' francophones is growing, many people still to exactly Karuna Govind in Canada with that of the v chooses to live with her can happen. After all, they reason, a woman Second Music is mis- year No her from if she wants aboriginal peoples highly husband or boyfriend. law prohibits leaving One must her and doesn't then leading and arrogant. to. So if a woman's partner is hitting she leave, remember that French Canadians she must be asking to be abused. Right? the have historically participated Wrong. Reasoning like this is superficial and unjustly blames equally in the exploitation and victim, because it fails to account for the psychological experiences of Canada's in subjugation of women caught a cycle of abuse. in similar circumstance. aboriginal population. Consider, perhaps, how you would feel a The also Pretend has been enough, agreement gives that you are a woman who married, happily in a husband have two Quebec its Meech demands for the past couple of years. You and your young

limited format. I am content to You have a B.A. but children and have just bought your first home. reaffirm Quebec's distinctness, dollars hour. One hus- have never earned more than ten per day, your it does seem slightly and so little at- though band gets upset. His temper is nothing new, you pay redundant to do so. Any history tention until, suddenly, he hits you. Hard. will tell that He student you every You are shocked. So is your husband, apparently. begs your 'distinctiveness' and that it will province's was forgiveness, helps soothe your wounds, promises Con- wonderful recognized upon entering never happen again. For the next while, everything is

federation — for Quebec, the around the and home so friends won't see the house, you stay your ...snow and a white Christ- BNA Act of 1867. The the oc- limiting bruises. But, sooner or later, the tension builds, and battering mas. of the distinct society clause does curs again. And again. Kendra Young reduce the chances of it being You don't love husband and see him as a leave, because you your Secretary to the Dean of Stu- end used to trample minority rights. 'good' man who sometimes does bad things. Each time, you up dents Now for the misgivings that accepting his apologies and promises, and keep hoping you can help one to vote No. Primarily, — alternatives are tempt him change. You haven't much choice, really the You what is there that too After have children to consider. guarantee just frightening. all, you sometime down the road, Quebec could Your relationships with never support them on your own. your nationalists will not demand friends since too and relatives aren't very good either, you're usually more? bruised ashamed tell the truth. To or upset to go out, and you're too to Already, Quebec has it all if the 'problem' in your top off, you are beginning to wonder of received a deal special because most of the feedback great marriage isn't your own fault, anyway, within Confederation. receive of husband's complaints treatment you about yourself consists your with about The cynic in me agrees your appearance, or your cooking. Trudeau that wants all and decide that have Quebec Eventually, you may become desperate, you the of but to of perks independence, get out. But where to go? You probably have little money your none of the responsibility. friends. Most crisis own, and may be afraid to seek out family or Historically, it has been shelters husband are already filled beyond capacity. As well, if your Quebec that has blocked constitu- catches will beat and life will be and you preparing to leave, he you, ...wine, women the Blue tional reform as its 'tradi- worse than ever. Jays in the World Series. tional/historic' demands have in Does this scenario sound unreal to you? In fact, many women Eric Green been continuously evolving. similar believe that no matter First Communications situations reach a point where they year not Quebec nationalists may what is they do, they will not survive the relationship. This perception be "master blackmailers", but not as distorted Of all female homicide victims in as it may seem. do certainly act like spoiled, Canada, they sixty percent are murdered by their partners. insecure children who are testing Woman It occurs in abuse doesn't exist on the fringes of society. can all to see how much they get cultures and in all social classes. Normal, otherwise likeable men, with the do things. I agree the victims well-balanced away battering. Their are intelligent, initially that if insecure their rela- statement you're women. These women have made enormous investments in about yourself, your language, tionships, so it is not surprising that they would struggle to preserve I by Scott McKay and Wendy Jackson them - life. continued 30 even at. the, cost of their self-esteem, or even their on page 30 Comment THE CORD Thuradmy, Octobmr a, I—l

The Doctor will see you now

me. Here's arm. Could INGROWN TOENAIL! my you been mauled by a bear or some- tionist, like my world famous cerebral hem- please re-attach it and the Forget about stop thing. turkey stuffing recipe, I am given and four pints of blood second moraeges, missing limbs, per you...(he coughs up a a blue card. These from broken spines. babies are leaving my body." lung)...got a blue card yet?" Oooooooh, what a privilege.

Anyway, he insists I to I bow down THE LAST LAUGH nasty. go kindly pick up his lung and The other patients be- So he calls the It started out emergency. hospi- it on the of fore and flowers at by visiting my place pile body parts me lay my by Kevin Watsen tal and inform him family doctor with an infected toe they they have he is holding. feet. They hoist me on their I had the great in either and expecting to hear, "Oh, it's an opening two weeks or "A what?" I reply. shoulders and start sacrificing of visiting one pleasure I fix here in 1997. I take the two week if I am Recently not that bad. can it right ap- "Won't get served you small furry animals. now a of the local hospital don't and now." Not, "Well, we'll have pointment (how you can book an got a blue card. Gotta go to registered hospital patient. rooms. What seriously emergency appointment for an the front desk to one." Will ever helped? to book you into emergency right emergency get Larry get and life crippling potentially room is beyond me. I mean it's So I hobble off in search of Is nurse Airhead away." Maybe it's just me, but really carry- fate had befallen me threatening the word 'emergency' usually not like trying to get a table at the mysterious front desk. If ing the unconceived child of Doc-

ask? "Chez Pierre" in Practice? you means something like, "Excuse or something). you've ever been a hospital, tor Mel

two the Tune in next week for the So weeks later fifteen you soon realize that thou- ans- and members of my family escort me sands of arrows on the walls, wers to these questions and more,

the 200 coloured lines the CORDFEEDBACK to the emergency room. Hey, this on which, like soap operas, probably is the most complex operation floor do not lead anywhere. After won't be answered for another

had. three births, two heart We're here to hear. I've ever witnessing month so that you'll keep reading I walk the and in a until are through sliding transplants assisting every week they ans-

doors to the work), I which time still emergency room vasectomy (very tricky wered, at you'll

sounds of in find the front desk. week because created for class! people screaming finally keep reading every Best thing ever seat beside After several of unrealistic -Brad Cruickshank agony, and myself a giving pieces even more stupid plots

guy named Larry who had just vital information to the recep- have developed. Looks great! Keen, fantastic, super! --Paula Clark Canada's nifty constitution I really liked the she/he/it article!

Petrisencu continued from 29 -Kalhy page constitutional arrangement. Look at it now. Add to

and culture, there's no constitution in the this the provisions for the creation of new pro- to the your Those on are awesome. it Are we going print men sports really Keep up guys! world that in view would be to vinces. All can do is create provinces in honour roll this year? your enough protect parliament

Brooks it's time to stand and name of all the provinces --Sharon you. Maybe finally up say only. Unanimity existing constitutional enough. is required to confer equal legal and Moo rale! the Brian Gear, last week we U of Men on sport By way, played The much touted Social Charter and Economic status to these new provinces. Some change from --Wendy Wood Accord Union provisions have no teeth. Most of the territorial status.

reviews on the know that there are for both not let the black stuff on your hands. How about more has to be finalized. Essentially, I arguments Find out a way to yet governments many

tunes? what the final form have touched on -- the NAC's ob- "heavy" involved do not seem to know sides that I not Reier - this is --Amy of these provisions will be. jections, the federal parties support I guess

seats in dilemma. the Giving Quebec 25 per cent of the the the traditional voters Though agree- Cover looked like Theatre Laurier beat the snot out of the footballHawks. House of Commons for the rest of eternity, now ment is not perfect, and there are some problems --John Olliffe with is there alternative? matter what, goes against every principle of repre- it, a readily available

for The but can never make are unfair! I want to write Cord the issue Friday afternoon meetings sentation by population. Also, Quebec's senators I'm not sure that by voting any way it (Cool to the meetings paper though). and be the would be The issue is not can opt out of elections appointed by expedited satisfactorily. --Jen Billows clear believe. The provincial government. This is highly undemocratic as cut as either side wants us to

the resentment is whether in more visible to front or bound to levels of that we must all ask ourselves 1 tliink the comment section should be a place (closer and is generate high question

middle). in the future. we are ready to take the leap of faith or wait to see --Christina Craft Lebanon, although an extreme case, was once what the future has in store. That's why the issue

live that had similar later. also a great place to a nifty really is to ask the question now and vote have had a chancc to read the Shouldbe here on Friday after people paper.

-Dave Big ion i

than last week). Grammar/spelling errors Yet another excellent paper (even better Buttheads me about Duke I the review David s (oops, bug weren't as numerous. totally enjoyed [book]

Preston Manning's) contribution to fine literature.

--Wendy Jackson

than week. Cover looks good. The whole thing looks much better last --Carolyn Finlayson RetrospectThe week in review — not it a it is our homecoming weekend Not a bad issue, but considering why promote

little?

-Luke Morrison won't the "I believe in freedom of by Pat Brethour ever say phrase

work! but..." I've always enjoyed reading The Cord. Keep up the good speech, the kind of - Fiorini buttheads. You know Laura hate per- have the conviction of beliefs, If you really your

I'm about -- there's son talking probably shouldn't feel the need to other well writ- simply deprive for Theatre laurier. The review was I you for the front Thank you page coverage one next to now. sitting you right of the to voice theirs. ten and fair. Well done! Also, concert reviews require opinions. people right discus- You'll be having a perfectly wonderful beliefs. If --Anne-Marie Tymec And no, there are no 'unacceptable' with about a sion a perfectly intelligent person per- wants to an asshole like Ernst Zundel spout lies, freedom of and fectly interesting topic, say speech, the of the Holocaust, he MENTALBLOCS BY JAY McCALLUM and dispute existence in will barge the butthead. succeeded in should not be censored. Even if you "I think freedom of is important," speech very all is to drive shutting him up, you'll accomplish "I think it is the lynchpin of Western liber- you say. his sickness underground. and al democracry." You take a sip of your coffee, the of the If you really want to silence Zundels of and wait for in- a deep drag your cigarette, your world, you'll challenge him. You'll take him on, telligent friend to respond. and destroy his arguments systematically with your Instead, the butthead gives his (or even her) all- own. in too-predictable answer: "I believe freedom of won't be It will take time, and it definitely easy. in speech, but 1..." The rest of their retort is lost the Zundel and his ilk, each But if everyone challenged steady stream of dribble running down their chin. to their venom, and every time they started spew That one word - but - is pretty damned important, last they wouldn't very long. though. But that would take dedication and fortitude -- "I believe in freedom of speech, but..." But

buttheads have a short answers? two things which notoriously what, butthead? What are the possible of. Instead, the buttheads would rather You believe in freedom of speech, but it some- supply on to other and books censor Zundel (as a start), moving times gels cold on winter nights burning later. to warm? targets is an environmentally friendly way stay

no matter how You believe in freedom of speech, but want to When you accept censorship, rather in initial reasons condone all the limit how many books are published a given year right your you results that follow. so you won't fall behind? nasty think that certain ideas Committee Or do you just just Like bookburnings. Like the House

be discussed? Like Soviet shouldn't on Un-American Activities. the Gulags.

The is: there is no answer. You believe the idea that dissent answer And once you've accepted don't. You believe in of free in freedom of speech or you could be a crime, you're an opponent

tolerate all no matter free speech if you opinions, speech. of be buts when it comes to freedom how odious they may to you. There are no in free then buttheads. If you really believe speech, you speech. Just the cord Classifieds 31 Thursday, Odobmr M, 1993

Door-To-Door Pro- Tires sale. Three D78-14 Fundraising Male volunteers are urgently «ma A II ABA for AflBj&

for a non-profit organiza- to on a one-to-one pw| snowtires on rims. Almost new; gram needed assist Call 886- tion. Dependable, outgoing male individuals who have biff bml I mLU|l|l k|Mk no treadwear. John, basis,

II 11 with some sales experi- I 6918 after 5:00 pm. people a disability and are involved in OB Commitment of |JLI1| ILLJ ence preferred. leisure activities. Call Lee @ B| W ■! I ft#

f - Fri- W*« ￿ w W®w 9-12 hours/week. Monday 741-2228. A A A A 4

- — — 1 IVVm day 5:30-9:30 and Saturdays (III ATTENTION: The Phys-Ed I will do term theses, ■■■!■ II I 111 10:30-2:30. and papers, Transportation WANTED: Volunteers to re- help Society has been formed! Watch resumes with computer and laser Call 747-4067. lH|11 Bml I training provided. on campus. Can help as B| | cycle out for uncoming events. in APA. Fast printer. Experience I r l|HH |l little as five minutes a week! Call turnaround. Sandy 658-1028. FREE TRAVEL AND I ■ I $$$$, or |b|v Ellen Kevin, Environmental ' V f W ff f f RESUME EXPERIENCE!! WLUSU 884- ; Co-Ordinators at

Word es Processing resumes, 1360. interested in a re yOU joining Individuals and Student Organi- letters reports. Reasonab e says, small ff i the and sta n production zations wanted to promote ; rates. 3/0-U/4V. Waterloo Chronicle has three of an international distribution SPRING BREAK, call the na- positions for part-time newspaper with great growth tion's leader. Inter-Campus Pro- open v Onaiitv u/nrrl nmrpssinff hv uni potential? The Wor.d Trade 1-800-327-6013. wreit/ graduate (English) Fast, grams Bfc Salary plus incentives. S f professional service. Spell check .

tluMiutfes of"circulation STUDENTS or ORGANIZA- Bftjfijr" f , available. Laser printer. Call * —— TIONS Promote our Florida -pf—~r .' Contact jaiiJan mciiKdiMenkal (2){w —-7 f T T manager, Canadian Federation of Univer- „ Suzanne 886-3857 . n , 1 B,reak r 888-0039 or 745-5115. W*i¥ -JMSgffc-a Spring packages..Earn : sity Women: inds!plh dlscllssioI1 _

Laurel Creek Watershed & " Experienced Tutors: Math, % £ Awesome Spring Break Trip' Organize® SMALL or LARGE •< surface water on • . pollution@ 8pm Phvsics Calculus German DiuiBiol- *,, 1 1 rnysics, ueniidn, materials * & £*S6BmmB Call - promotional pro- * groups. Campus Marketing . ~ , P A , Close 886- 2 ogy. to on,vers,ty. vided be 0f a Great I-800-423-5264. a pan Pmy, Jj ISlf - ; r,' Hrihard 2657 Hall, Ftrst Un.ted ' ? organize a earn cash and & William llglMWHBif - Church. Streets, 1-800-263- wa (King travel for FREE. Call ■ Waterloo Chronicle needs a Waterloo WORD PROCESSING $1.50 SUPPORT >- 5604 THE UNITED WAY. for , telemarketing supervisor part-

HIRE ME, I'M BROKE! Tues. Oct. 13 - Fri. Oct. 30 _ time work. Experience with ™YS-fcD SUCIfclcnriPTVY Christina 886-7434. A GREEKS & CLUBS: RAISE telemarketing an asset. Call 886- ok' f°rward 10 y° u —~ HEY CLUBS. THE CLUBS CO- ng meeting ——z==— COOL $1000 in just one week! 2830. Salary plus incentives. " ( Watch oul for events! ORDINATOR NEEDS YOUR M Plus $1000 for the member who MHM MEMBERSHIP LISTS NOW! f S 0 calls! And a FREE HEAD- VOLUNTEER DRIVERS ' GIVE THE GIFT OF LIFE # PHONE RADIO just for calling NEEDED ACCKWA, the AIDS WAY Wilfrid Laurier Blood Donor Jf 1-800-932-0528, Ext. 65. THE UNITED NEEDS Committee of Cambridge, K-W YOU!! Our is We Clinic. Oct. 19 10:00 am to 4.00 — goal $5,000! and area need weekday drivers.

is need volunteers: Info session pmintheT.A. ■ Canadian Liver Foundation All you need is liability insur-

~ ~ Tues. Oct. 13 at in the looking for fund-raisers for tele- 5:30pm ance, a reliable vehicle, and some • Jr- a

— and Niobe in the phone work. Work in a warm Lounge or sign up free time. Call 748-5556. ' | | fi M ttk Jk m I fl| comfortable environment and Students'Union Office. nriyfill I I T in A I ver disease. Apply per- Waterloo Chronicle 111 r needs car- U|lv%| Ijmj NDP I mil I son at 32 Duke St. 2nd Waterloo Associa- Wag B| East, Riding riers for Wednesday evenings. rLllJI IIMLJ

1 1MI Kitchener - above Cul- tion new NDP F.Jim f Floor, starting Campus Call 886-2830 9-5 and ask for cir- | felfW* |lHr W|l |inU| tures. Ask for Jim. Club. Also working with Ontario culation. New Democratic Youth. Scott FYNAEOTqlqAT, c/K

Paitkowski 746-8225. OKTOBERFEST TICKETS FOR !.,** SSffor ABr UrgSTstS Wur "FRIENDS" isa school volunteer w«r- wants reps. Organize a group, 6 (so d out e ent) Call 7~5 where a child id paired program earn cash and travel for FREE. 7 :

mayhem: 1 am 1 "I' with a volunteer, establishing a Call 1-800-263-5604. J- gee... deeply " # for destroying all of that . f ; . IA • •one-to-onerelationship to build sorry

* ' W rk ad send thc child s self-esteem and con- jP*; ° "' OU tter me a Pron Electric Guitar with hard r . | J

'

J amcs 5th Come & : 3375 PLEASE! Hey year slippers! @

m so wiUl0ul Tec u - '' VOLUNTEERS NEEDED to lonely y° New! Unique small pocket size l^

tiOT IL ACCKWA needs volunteer 1 — S^ S?!™ withlig ! Spmin #' MmtM* 3> 12.00 or 2/$22.00. Central Dis- counselors for therapeutic W- I someone to me sup- Niobe Lounge. Come out need teach how tributors (Exotic P.O. bereavement Importers) port, counselling j involved! For in- to play snooker. Is anyone from an( get more Box *'* 26126, Kitchener, Ont. N2G and stress services, available? Loser the management formation call Christina or Cayuga buys

Call 748-5556. beer Alexandra @ 884-1360. "

i I* Keystone Volunteers COME BE A ■ wi mm b IA Yearbook Layout and Design Workshop 1

will be held on I student publication

I Wednesday, OctobNl4 at 7:00 pm I

a 1 ,r.sss.iris& W <*>*«>

J on or before October 13. IJ call 884-2990 32 THE CORD Advertisement Thursday, October M, im

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