Ireland’s STUDENT NEWSPAPER Of The Year 2005 Trinity News Est. 1947 Ireland’s Oldest Student Newspaper

Tuesday, November 1, 2005 [email protected] Vol.58 No.2 Cian Traynor meets the New Look legendary Christy Moore MUSIC page 12 TNT Inside! First Year Nursing Students Protest at St James’s Nurses Will Refuse to Pay Vaccination Charges, Some Students Angered by INO ‘Agitation’

for vaccinations against Hepatitis B vaccinated free of charge. Fox Alexander and Tuberculosis. The students Mr Wallace stated that picketed outside the hospital and students were united in their deci- Trinity nursing students based at St staged a sit-in in the Nursing sion to boycott the €100 charge James’s Hospital will refuse to pay Administration offices. and had the full backing of the €100 each for vaccinations Following the protest, INO. because they consider the charge to hospital authorities agreed to vacci- A spokesperson for St be unjust, student representatives nate the students as planned and James’s Hospital told Trinity News have said. 65 first year students allow them to pay the €100 fee at a that the hospital was already pro- picketed the hospital on Friday, later date. All students have now viding Hepatitis B vaccinations to October 21st in protest at the con- been immunised but they are students at a reduced rate. “This is troversial fee. The protest was the adamant they will not pay a cent. the first year that St James’s has second in the space of year by According to first year offered vaccinations to students, in Trinity students at St James’s. Nursing student Mr David Wallace, previous years they had to get it Friday’s unplanned St James’s has no justification for done privately. The vaccination demonstration received widespread charging students for immunisa- actually costs the hospital €146 but national media coverage for the tions. “Student nurses have the we provide it at a reduced rate of students and had the backing of the same status as hospital employees. €100.” Irish Nurses Organisation (INO). Our health and safety are the The spokesperson said Former Taoiseach Garret FitzGerald Finds the Hist’s Northern Ireland Debate Too Exciting to Stay Awake For But some student nurses who took responsibility of the hospital, so it that students still had the option of Photo: Mark Hughes part in the protest have since should be up to the hospital to getting privately vaccinated if they accused the INO of ‘agitating’ the cover the cost of vaccinations.” wished. He added that he wasn’t in Organisation of hijacking the stu- “We'd been informed get us all out protesting about it dents are worried that it will create situation and making life difficult Mr Wallace, who acts as a position to comment on proce- dents’ protest. She said that some about the €100 cost of the vaccines rather than discussing it with the a bad atmosphere when we come to for students. the class’ INO representative, also dures in Tallaght or other hospitals. of the students took part in the a couple of weeks beforehand and hospital authorities.” do our The protest began when first year pointed out that Trinity nursing stu- One first year student demonstration reluctantly only nobody seemed to have a problem The student was also placements in St. James’s in students at St James’s objected to dents who do their annual work nurse who spoke to Trinity News after agitation by an INO represen- with it. But when the [INO] rep unhappy with the possible ramifi- paying a €100 levy to the hospital placement in Tallaght Hospital are accused the Irish Nursing tative at the scene. arrived she seemed determined to cations of the protest. “Many stu- Continued Page 3 Inside Donations to Trinity Reach Record Level The Abortion Debate The vast majority of this money “At the Trinity years. The government is likely to excess of €5 million have been News Feature looks at the facts, the law, and your views John Lavelle was donated by wealthy individu- Foundation, we like to cultivate provide just a fraction of the neces- received by Trinity during the year, See page 5 als, while smaller gifts from alum- relationships with our donors. sary funds. The College will be but the donors have requested that ni and businesses accounted for the Most of our supporters give gener- forced to rely largely on an their anonymity be maintained. Trinity College received a record- remainder. ously on a long-term basis. So it increase in private contributions to Mr Sparrow explained Society Recognition Tips breaking total of €40 million in The 2005 results put wouldn’t be uncommon for the fig- meet the shortfall. that the drive to increase private Enda Hargaden guides you through all you need to know private contributions last year Trinity ahead of all other Irish uni- ures to fluctuate significantly on a In February of this year, revenue was designed to supple- See page 18 from corporations, trusts, alumni versities in the fundraising stakes, year by year basis.” Glen Dimplex founder Mr Martin ment government funds, not and individual philanthropists. The having raised an unparalleled A member of the Naughton made a high profile gift replace them. “To compete inter- unprecedented figure, raised by €100 million over the last five College Board revealed to Trinity of €5 million towards a new state nationally, we need excellence,” he Pakistan Earthquake Trinity in the twelve month period years from private sources. News that the figures reflect an of the art nanoscience institute in said. “Excellence has a price. Report from GOAL’s team on the ground up to September 2005, is four The director of the intensification private fundraising Trinity. It was one of the largest Government funding will support See page 7 times higher than the €10 million Trinity Foundation, the body efforts, concentrated particularly public contributions ever made by the good and the very good, but to received in 2004. which oversees the college’s pri- on Irish multi-millionaires. an Irish individual to a university. be world leading we need to The percentage of Irish vate fundraising efforts, played Trinity’s building devel- According to Mr encourage philanthropy.” Sexy Science donors has also shot up with over down the record breaking haul. Mr opment plans for the campus’ Sparrow, donations of this magni- Jane Ferguson returns with more tales of the scientific 90% of the contributions coming Nick Sparrow said that the astro- North East corner and the Pearse tude are not uncommon, though TN profiles Trinity’s See page 24 from sources within the Republic, nomical increase in the 2005 figure St area will cost an estimated they are seldom made public. largest donors a marked shift from recent years. was misleading. €100 million over the next five Several other contributions in News Features: Page 4 Trinity News Two Don’t miss the first issue of the new look TNT! See supplement SU Embarrassed by Coca- Index College News p1-3 SU & Societies p18 Cola/Nestlé Double Cock Up News Feature p4 Comment & Opinion National p6 p19-20 by Coca-Cola. Both compa- dum of 24th February to Deputy President of the International p7-8 Letters p21 Trish Van de Velde nies’ products are banned maintain the current boycott SU Mr Tom Dillon, who is in Features p9-10 Gaeilge p22 Jonathan Drennan from SU shops. of Coca-Cola and Nestle prod- charge of publicising the boycott, In an ironic twist, ucts in the Students’ Union had no knowledge of the incident Film p11 Inter’l Students p23 the Students’ Union newspa- shops.” when contacted. However, he was Music p12-13 Science p24 The Students’ Union was doubly per had been released earlier Students voted for a quick to assure Trinity News that Food & Drink p14-15 Sports Features p25-26 embarrassed last week when a the same day running a front Students’ Union boycott of he would go and check whether product jointly produced by two page article highlighting Coca-Cola in 2004 for its there was any Nestea left in the Travel p16 Sport p27-28 companies it is actively boycotting Coca-Cola’s attempts to get alleged ill-treatment of work- fridge in due course. Careers p17 was being sold in one of its shops. its products back on the ers in Colombia. The Nestle Staff at the Hamilton Last Thursday, a Trinity News shelves of the SU shops. ban had been enacted six shop denied any knowledge of the reporter bought a bottle of Nestea The Students’ years earlier for alleged viola- incident. All offending products Look out for Issue 3 in Week 6! Iced Tea at the Students’ Union Union policy document for tions of the UNICEF have since been removed. Students shop in the Hamilton building. 2005 states unequivocally International Code of have been assured by the SU that Nestea is a beverage that has the that, “The council recognis- Marketing of breast milk. this is an isolated incident that unique distinction of being manu- es that the students of the Both boycotts were upheld in won't happen again. factured by Nestle and distributed college voted in the referen- a referendum earlier this year. 2 Tuesday November 1st, 2005 News Editor: John Lavelle COLLEGENEWS Trinity News Plans Announced for World Sports Centre Plans Unveiled Class Business School On Target for December 2006 Completion The new school will tive, was confident that the venture Liam Connors focus exclusively on courses of would be successful. study in executive management “The positive progress Trinity College has announced programmes and will build on the of our economy to date is in no plans to establish a new graduate foundations of the Trinity MBA small part due to the high standard school of management with the and the M.Sc. (Mgmt) degree pro- of our graduates. However, a world aim of breaking into the top 25 grammes currently delivered class economy needs a world class globally within a decade. The across both institutions involved. executive education system if it is school will be run jointly by Trinity The Provost Dr John to sustain itself in the long-term.” and the Irish Management Institute, Hegarty said, “The initiative builds “That is why the multi- and will be based on campus and at onthe solid foundations and inter- stranded initiative being the IMI headquarters in Sandyford. national reputations in education announced today by Trinity The ambitious develop- and research of both IMI and College and the IMI is a welcome ment will cater for over 200 stu- Trinity. It is rooted in the existing development.” dents and up to 50 staff. The school collaboration at course level that Prior management expe- aims to forge international links can number among its alumni rience in addition to academic with international business schools many of Ireland’s leading chief achievement will be prerequisites in both education and research. A executives.” for entry onto the programmes significant collaboration has The Minister for which are expected to begin within already been initiated with Babson Education and Science Mary the next academic year with an College, located in Massachusetts. Hanafin, who launched the initia- executive MBA programme. Trinity Students Riding to Combat Aids While most recent graduates Ireland. They are the first cyclists arriving in Cape Town in May. debate whether to seek employ- to attempt the route, which will Paul Tuthill, who recent- ment or continue their education, take them across thirteen countries ly graduated from Trinity with a Projected Image of New Sports Centre from Pearse Street one Trinity postgrad has come up in Europe and Africa. degree in Information and with a more unconventional way of Paddy, Paul and Julie are Communications Technology, said floor in the complex, complete lary halls. funds led College to revise these whiling away six months. set to depart from Dublin on he hoped the epic journey would Fox Alexander with ‘village style changing facili- In his annual report, Mr plans. Paddy Frankel, a post- December 1st, World Aids Day, capture the public’s imagination. ties.’ A sauna and steam room will McAuley outlined the progress to A new proposal was put graduate zoology student, is brac- after he completes his zoology “We want to raise as The Department of Sport has be positioned adjacent to the pool. date on the building work for the forward in 1999 for a Sports ing himself for a daunting masters. They will cycle through much awareness and funds as we announced detailed plans for the Initial plans for a FINA standard new Sports Centre. “The basement Centre, much of it underground, 14,500km cycle from Dublin to France and Italy before flying to can for Oxfam, because it’s desper- layout of the new Sports Centre, 33 metre pool with spectator seat- slab of the Sports Centre is now located on campus at the North Cape Town. Along with recent Egypt, where they will team up ately needed. We chose to cycle to which is currently under construc- ing were shelved due to space and complete while 80% of the retain- East corner adjacent to Pearse St Trinity graduate Paul Tuthill and with Tour D’Afrique - an interna- South Africa with the objective of tion at the North East corner of cost limitations. ing walls have been constructed. and Westland Row. But construc- Julie Wolfe, Paddy is hoping to tionally renowned extreme cycling capturing as much of the public’s campus. Speaking to sports club The ground floor will be In addition 30% of the pool rising tion was again delayed by finan- raise €50,000 to combat the Aids event. imagination and support as possi- representatives at the AGM of the the location for the fitness theatre walls are completed and the con- cial difficulties and negotiations epidemic that is crippling Africa. Their journey will take ble, from local communities to cor- Central Athletic Club (DUCAC) and a new café. It is expected that tractor expects to have the sus- with Iarnroid Eireann over effects The trio are embarking them through Sudan, Ethiopia, porate institutions.” on Thursday, Director of Sport Mr membership of the new gym and pended ground floor slab installed on the rail line which borders the on the incredible six month journey Kenya, Tanzania, Malawi, Zambia, For more information Terry McAuley said the develop- swimming pool will be made before Christmas 2005.” site. Trinity was forced to modify in order to raise funds for Oxfam Botswana, Namibia before finally visit www.bike2africa.com ment would be completed on available to the public in order to He added that work on its plans once more. schedule by Christmas 2006. provide extra financing for the the Centre would be finished by Work on the complex Construction of the new development. December of next year. finally got underway in January Sports Centre began in January of Student charges for use Department of Sport officials 2005. According to the this year after several years of of the gym facilities are expected emphasized that layout plans had Department of Sport, the floor planning and delays. to rise to offset the cost of the new yet not been completely finalised area of the facility will be The main sports hall will complex which will cost upwards and were subject to change. 6,500m2, less than the 10,000m2 be housed on the third floor of the of €20 million. Students are cur- The final layout of the envisaged in earlier drafts. centre and is expected to be rently charged €1 on a pay as you Sports Centre has been under dis- However, the cost of the develop- approximately double the size of go basis for the Luce Hall gym, a cussion for almost a decade and ment is expected to be lower than the current facility in Luce Hall. low amount relative to other Irish has evolved significantly from the in the original plans. The new hall will be split into two universities. original plans. Initially, the Sports Luce Hall, current home main playing areas, with a viewing The new Sports Centre Centre was to be housed at a site of many of Trinity’s sporting facil- gallery and bleacher seating to will also house the Department of on Pearse St currently occupied by ities, will be transformed into a facilitate spectators for major Sport and DUCAC offices, club An Post. A student levy of £15 was Student Centre once the new sporting events. meeting rooms, holistic treatment initiated in 1998 to provide partial sports complex is complete. (L-R) Paul Tuthill, Julie Wolfe and Paddy Frankel A 25 metre swimming rooms, new team changing facili- funding for the project. But plan- pool will be located below ground ties and a number of smaller ancil- ning difficulties and a lack of College on the Defensive as People Finder is Lost

homepage earlier this month. has under the Data Protection Acts address is regarded as private infor- double standards. It is not implied additional reason for the removal This has prompted the John Lavelle Trinity’s Information 1988 and 2003.” mation about the individual con- that students would abuse access to of People Finder. Historical Society to establish their Compliance Officer Mr Tom Mr Turpin told Trinity cerned.” other students’ email addresses, or The Students’ Union own version of People Finder that College authorities have defended Turpin defended the College’s News that the decision was taken Although students have that they would be more likely to Education Officer Donal will be allow students to voluntari- the decision to terminate student decision not to consult with stu- due to concerns over students’ pri- been denied access to one another’s do so than staff,” he said. “College McCormack said that the issue ly lodge their details with the soci- access to the ‘People Finder’ email dents before imposing the People vacy. email addresses, the People Finder staff have access to … the Student would be discussed at a meeting of ety, The system will be up and run- directory on the grounds that it vio- Finder ban. “The issue is not one of “The College is obliged program is still freely available to Information System because it is the College’s Information Services ning by next week. lated students’ privacy. People consultation or of the imposition of to protect the privacy of individu- the majority of the 700 academic required for the performance of Committee this week. He Students can still search Finder, which enabled students to someone’s view on others. Rather it als’ personal information that it staff in Trinity. Mr Turpin denied their College duties.” expressed hope that a compromise for email addresses via the Search locate the email addresses of fellow is a matter of complying with a holds, including information held that there was any contradiction in Mr Turpin cited the could be reached but admitted that Active Directory option in My Trinity students, was abruptly legal requirement.” He continued, about a student, such as his or her the College’s policy. prospect of “unsolicited, unwanted he didn’t know whether or not the Network Places on College com- removed from the TCD local “this is a duty which the College email address,” he said. “An email “This is not applying or even unpleasant mail” as an program would ever return. puters.

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EASY MEDIUM HARD 9 1 6 4 8 6 5 9 1 9 3 8 6 3 5 4 9 3 5 1 2 1 2 8 4 7 9 6 3 4 6 5 3 9 8 3 6 5 1 9 6 8 6 1 3 4 7 2 4 5 4 1 5 1 3 7 6 4 8 9 6 2 1 4 3 5 4 1 6 4 9 8 2 2 8 6 8 5 4 3 5 8 6 1 7 3 5 4 9 3 Assistant News Editor: Úna Faulkner Tuesday November1st, 2005 Trinity News COLLEGENEWS News in Brief ‘Thank You Matt’ Say Princes William and Harry guages. In recent years, Matt has ation from St Andrew’s University been at the centre of a number of and his trip to New Zealand. It was controversial disputes with college so kind of you to take the trouble to Top Sociologists Go authorities. write as you did and His Royal Mr Matubara has kindly Highness has asked me to send you allowed Trinity News to publish his warmest thanks and best wish- Head to Head in TCD selected extracts from his corre- es. spondence. Trinity students were spoilt for sports journalist and author of the Matteo Matubara in a letter to choice as two of the foremost Ross O’Carroll Kelly series of Matteo Matubara in a letter to Prince Harry, dated September social commentators of the last books, read extracts from his latest Prince William, dated August 23rd: decade addressed students at publication, The Curious Incident 20th: lunchtime on Friday, October 14th. of the Dog in the Nightdress. I have the honour to offer you my Although the speeches were deliv- Mr Howard began by I have the honour to offer my most heartfelt congratulations on your heartfelt congratulations on your ered simultaneously, large numbers joking with the audience about the twenty first birthday on the 15th of graduation with an honours degree gathered to see both Prof George financial state of his employer, The this month. Ritzer and Mr Paul Howard. Sunday Tribune, describing the ail- in geography, after four year’s study at St Andrew’s University, Prof Ritzer was hon- ing newspaper as “cash-fucked”. You have never insisted on follow- prestigious, the oldest in Scotland, oured by the Philosophical Society He then surprised audience mem- ing the tradition of going into the th (Phil) in recognition of his out- bers by doling out free Ross on June 28 . It was one of the Royal Navy because you are said standing contribution to sociology. O’Carroll Kelly t-shirts, with the proudest moments in your life. not to like the sea. You are under- Over one hundred students gath- phrase “You SO would, wouldn’t going your initial training at ered in the Graduates’ Memorial you?” emblazoned on the front. Above: Matteo Matubara. Right: Princes William and Keen rugby fan, you were invited to Sandhurst. You say that you do Building for the occasion. The first four of Mr Harry, Tony Blair, Bill Clinton join the British and Irish Lions tour enjoy running down a ditch full of Prof Ritzer gained Howard’s Ross books have already by head coach Sir Clive Woodward mud. You say that you have been worldwide prominence in the mid won him cult status among seg- to support the Lions team. When treated equally. nineties with his influential book, ments of Ireland’s youth. Many Diego Cortez Mr Matubara for his kind letters. you visited the Lions team at their This is not the first time The McDonaldization of Society. believe that the books are the most hotel in Wellington, you met the You defend yourself for being both Mr Matubara has corresponded Meanwhile, the Dublin accurate sociological account to injured captain Brain O’Driscoll a party prince and a caring prince. College personality Mr Matteo with major international figures. University Business and date of the culture and social rules and commiserated with the unfor- ‘I am what I am, I’m not going to Matubara has received warm letters William and Harry’s late mother, Economics Society played host to a of the South Dublin upper-middle tunate Irishman with a sympathet- change,’ say you. sociological thinker of a very dif- class. Some critics have dismissed of thanks from both Prince William Princess Diana, exchanged letters ic, ‘Bad luck, old mate.’ and Prince Harry. Mr Matubara, an with him in the mid nineties. The ferent nature. Mr Paul Howard, Howard’s work as ‘fictional’. Prince Harry’s secretary in a elderly Japanese man who is a reg- French educated Matubara has also On the sixth day of your trip you reply to Mr Matubara: ular fixture around campus, had corresponded with Bill Clinton, visited the Starship Children’s sent long letters of congratulations Jacques Chirac and Tony Blair in Hospital to meet little patients. Prince Harry has asked me to to both princes in the last two the past. More recently, President Your caring warmth rejoiced ill thank you for your letter of Trinity Staff Research months. Mary McAleese wished Matt a children and their mothers rd Matt’, a former Trinity return to health after a period of ill- September 23 in which you con- gratulate him on his twenty first post-graduate student, wrote to ness two years ago. Prince William’s secretary in a Association Launched birthday. It was most thoughtful of wish Prince Harry well on his Mr Matubara spends reply to Mr Matubara: recent twenty first birthday and much of his time on campus and you to do this and greatly appreci- The Provost has welcomed the job instability stems from the lack ated. Prince Harry has asked me to congratulated PrinceWilliam on his has acquired a degree of fame Prince William has asked me to establishment of Ireland’s first staff of research funding in Ireland. send you his best wishes. graduation from St Andrew’s among Trinity students. He has thank you for your letter of August research association by Trinity The TRSA also aims to University. Representatives of each been deaf and dumb since birth but 23rd in connection with his gradu- College employees last week. The stop the decline in the uptake of of the princes responded, thanking is proficient in at least six lan- Trinity Research Staff Association science subjects in schools and col- (TRSA) was launched to combat leges. poor job security for researchers Provost John Hegarty and to give research staff a greater strongly backed the formation of input into decisions taken by the the TRSA, which will represent 1st Year James’s Lack of Respect for Meas College. over 400 staff, around 15% of col- The president of the lege employees. He stated that TRSA, Alison Donnelly, stated that research would play a vital role in Nurses Outrage “In order for Ireland to attract and the future development of the Costs SU Sponsorship retain highly educated and skilled country. researchers they require greater The Provost also Continued from Page 1 from the hospital, having already recognition.” Dr. Donnelly went on expressed a wish that the TRSA waited for several years. Ann Marie Ryan ship from the organization. TCDSU is charging €8 to say that the majority of third will provide a forum for January, working with the officials Ms Proctor also criti- The SU Ent’s Officer for each event, compared with €10 level researchers only receive researchers to voice their opinions who were disrupted by the cised St James’s Hospital for Niall Hughes said that the TCDSU per gig in UCD and other colleges. short-term contracts and are denied and have input into policy deci- protest.” attempting to charge second year The Students’ Union turned down opted not to seek sponsorship from Mr Ciarán Ó hIarnáin, spokesper- even basic entitlements such as sions. This is not the first time a students €40 retrospectively for the possibility of substantial spon- Meas for their alcohol free series, son for Meas has defended the pensions and parental leave. This dispute has erupted between Mantoux tests for tuberculosis. sorship for its alcohol free ‘Gigs which features top Irish acts such independence of the organisation. Trinity student nurses and authori- “St James’s performed and Giggles’ nights, it emerged last as Ed Byrne and David Kitt. This “It is a not for profit organisation, ties at St James’s Hospital. Last the Mantoux test last year on all week. The organisation Mature was due to a resolution was passed funded principally by its member Unscrupulous Promoters year, there were protests at the long students at their hospital. The stu- Enjoyment of Alcohol in Society at an SU council last year banning companies. It has also received delays in the payment of travel dents were not charged at the time (Meas) is funding identical gigs in the SU from dealing with the con- some funding from the European Prey on Nurses allowances to students. but have been told recently that universities across the country fea- troversial group. The main reason Commission”, he said. As part of Trinity’s they now owe €40. Students affili- turing a host of top comedians and cited for this was funding received Ó hIarnáin claims that Mysterious event organisers ments was confronted, his reported Nursing degree programme, stu- ated to Tallaght Hospital did not musicians. But Trinity’s Students’ by Meas from the drinks compa- drinks companies have very little attempted to lure Trinity nursing response was, “It’s, ehh, the UCD dents complete an unpaid 12 week have to pay.” Union refused to deal with Meas nies and the Licensed Vintners’ influence on Meas, citing the students to their party under false Nursing Society. Yeah.” period of clinical practice each A number of students because of its ties to the alcohol Association. example of a five-person com- pretences on Tuesday October But the University year. They are entitled to a €15 per who spoke to Trinity News said industry. Mr Hughes admitted that plaints panel which adjudicates on 25th. Unknown hooligans handed College Dublin website contains week travel allowance. But that the incompetence of the St Meas, which aims to pro- the ‘Gigs and Giggles’ event, run in alleged breaches of its code on the out posters in the Pavillion Bar and no details of any ‘UCD Nursing because of ‘administrative prob- James’s administration was to mote sensible consumption of alco- association with 8 Ball naming, packaging and promotion around campus advertising a Society.’ lems’ at St James’s Hospital, pay- blame for student nurses’ difficul- hol, receives funding principally Productions, was operating at a of alcoholic drinks has just one rep- ‘Nursing Society Party’ in a It is believed the ama- ment of the allowance to nurses has ties. Other students have alleged from member companies such as loss. The SU were prepared to resentative from the drinks indus- Hardcourt St nightclub. teurly produced posters were dis- been delayed by up to four years, that St James’s is deliberately over- Diageo and Heineken Ireland. accept the shortfall in revenue try. The Trinity Nursing and tributed by lustful ruffians as part leaving students out of pocket by charging students in order to save The group has sponsored however, as the events are part of a Earlier this month it was Midwifery Society were bewil- of a ruse to attract to attract female tens of thousands of euro. on costs. ‘Gigs and Giggles’ style alcohol welfare campaign to provide non- revealed that college authorities in dered by the posters as they did not nursing students to their party. The Ms Ceire Proctor, The hospital said that it free events in Dublin City alcoholic events for students to UCD spent €10,000 subsidising have an event scheduled. When a nature of the youths’ intentions are President of the Trinity Nursing would be making a statement about University, University College attend. Hughes feels that an event the cost of the alcohol-free events youth handing out the advertise- not known. and Midwifery Society said that the retrospective Mantoux charges Cork and University of Limerick. sponsored solely by the SU is “the in order to ensure that sponsorship In some cases, student unions have best way of getting the message out from Meas was not used. John Lavelle, Rachel Fahy and Diego Cortez some students are still waiting to and the delays in travel allowance receive their travel allowances payments in the next week. accepted up to €10,000 in sponsor- there.” Some Might Say Key Players Gather for Compiled by John Lavelle Northern Ireland Debate “There is, of course, no problem where students choose to make their email addresses available.” The College Information Compliance Officer shows that despite remov- A recurring flashpoint throughout to blame. ing People Finder, Trinity is still deeply committed to personal liberty Hannah Scally the debate was the contentious In a dramatic moment, issue of concessions to Republican Mr Sean Farren of the SDLP “We’re only a year old and we’re trying to get people to take New optimism mixed with old paramilitaries. claimed that Unionists were using us seriously. Obviously this kind of thing doesn’t help” grievances was evident at the A number of speakers their “victimhood” to buffer them Nursing Society President Ceire Proctor after posters advertising fake College Historical Society’s (Hist) from the proposition argued that from the realities. He further Nursing Society events were distributed around annual Northern Ireland debate on such concessions played a large claimed that Unionists saw the Wednesday 19th October. Two for- role in the lack of progress in the period of Catholic oppression in “Now, the reason you’re all here is to turn yourself into a mer Taoisigh spoke at the event peace process. An alleged concen- the north as a “golden era”. A clear- tration on republican grievances ly angered Jeffrey Donaldson product that somebody, someday might want to buy” which has become an important national discussion on the future of was criticised. refused to take part in the formal A lecturer bluntly explains the business school’s concept of higher edu- “It’s supposed to be over applause at the end of Mr Farren’s cation to 2nd year students the North in recent years. Ex-Taoiseach Dr Garret now and we’re still making conces- speech. Fitzgerald chaired the debate. sions to them”, Jeffrey Donaldson Despite this, a more Former Irish leader Mr Albert contended. He continued, “Isn’t it open-minded approach was evident The Numbers Game Reynolds, hailed as one of the time we had a bit of remorse from from both sides. From both architects of the North’s peace the IRA?” Mr Donaldson was Unionist and Nationalist speakers Compiled by John Lavelle process, was joined by other high adamant that little progress was there was a acceptance of the need possible while this continued, as to look forward, away from the profile speakers including the con- Albert Reynolds at tHist Debate Photo: Mark Hughes troversial DUP hardliner Mr Unionists had been alienated by grievances of the past. The total amount of the times sporting facilities in Luce this attitude. He also raised the Mr Durkan commented 167,375 Jeffrey Donaldson, and the SDLP he was appointed rather than voted everyone a much better life”. Mr issue of transparency in the recent on the perceived failure of the Hall were used last year leader Mr Mark Durkan, a moder- into office, his own position was Fitzgerald agreed: “the real obsta- IRA decommissioning. Good Friday agreement, and refer- ate nationalist. undemocratic and therefore “unten- cle, in the long run, is economic”. Mr Mark Durkan, leader ring to the motion, suggested that The motion, ‘That the able” for the future democracy of Dr Fitzgerald closed 270 The scholarship, in book tokens spread over two years, that will of the SDLP, agreed that there had “If anyone has been let down, it’s Peace Process has let Unionism Northern Ireland. what he called “a reasoned debate”, been too much effort on protecting those who voted for the agree- be awarded to first year Trinity students who achieved over 545 points Down’ provided an opportunity for Mr Albert Reynolds also stating that empathy was apparent aggressors. He asserted however ment.” Mr Donaldson emphasised in their Leaving Certificate speakers on both sides to assess the suggested that a focus on the econ- on both sides, and that “all the that the “perceived concessions” to the need for both sides to “respect current situation in Northern omy was now necessary, declaring points of view put forward had IRA members were not set out in the rule of law.” Mr. David Hanson The scholarship, in cash, offered by University College Ireland, in light of the recent IRA that “the sooner leadership comes merit”. The motion was defeated 1,300 the Good Friday agreement. (minister of state at the Northern decommissioning. forward in the North of Ireland to Dublin to students with equivalent points Unionist leaders, he said, were also Ireland office) pointed out that, as develop the economy, it will give News Feature Editor: Gearóid O’ Rourke Tuesday November 1st,2005 5 Trinity News NEWS FEATURE Abortion:The Facts, The Law and Your Views “People on both issue has certainly been apparent in women whose foetuses were found News by Welfare Officer Stephanie gests that students have a more among our political parties, there As a society we seem Irish law. There have been 5 refer- to be abnormal. O’ Brien. She said “Our job is sim- choice-oriented view of the issue. seems to be a general apathy tend- much happier to let another country sides…are good and enda in twenty years, and the cur- But what about Trinity ply to represent everyone’s views” A random selection of deal with a problem we are reluc- decent people who rent legal status is based on the rul- students? There is a long standing and that SU officers are “trained to students were asked a set of stan- “Do you have a womb?” tant to face. As a result, abortion ing in one of the most divisive tradition of activism within Trinity deal [with the issue] in a sensitive- dard questions which included “To Remark addressed to one today is dealt with on an almost have different lenses cases in Irish Legal history – the X- on the topic of abortion. In 1990 way”. However when asked for the best of your knowledge is abor- male speaker from the economic, rather than a moral Case. The most recent referendum tion in Ireland available freely, in basis. Those who want abortions on life.” in 2002 (an attempt to restrict abor- limited circumstances or never?” crowd at the Hist’s recent and can afford to travel abroad, do Frances Kissling tion laws) led to more confusion on and “Would you consider your self Abortion debate so. Those who cannot are left in an both sides than clarity. pro-choice, pro-life or neither?” unenviable situation. Shiela Lynch The “D Case”, currently While 37% of students ing towards safer conservative awaiting hearing in the European said they were pro-life, 80% of stu- abortion policies (see inset). and Hannah Scally Court of Human Rights could have dents surveyed thought that the The Policies of the There are few issues in modern a dramatic affect on abortion law in current abortion law was too The current standing on society that generate such strong Ireland. ‘D’ became pregnant with restrictive. More surprisingly: prior abortion in Ireland: Political Parties: opinions as abortion. Typing the twins. One died in the womb while to being informed of the law, 48% -Abortion is illegal in Fianna Fáil: No plans to the other was found to suffer abnor- of students thought that abortion in word “abortion” into Google’s Ireland except where there change the legal situation of search engine yields 37,100,000 malities. ‘D’ decided to have an Ireland was either never available abortion and travelled to England is a real and substantial risk abortion. results: more than the death penalty Progressive Democrats: A and contraceptives put together. to do so. “Abortion is wrong, to the life of the mother. The Hist’s recent debate “I think we are going abortion kills an This includes the risk of sui- spokeswoman said the party on abortion illustrated just how unborn child, abortion cide. was “against abortion”. contentious an issue abortion through a generation or Fine Gael: No plans to Pro-Choice Pro-Life Not Sure destroys women.” -All women have the right remains. Extra security measures two in which the to travel to avail of abortion change the situation. were necessary due to the high pro- Unaware of Law 11 9 2 Bernadette Smith, humanity of the unborn services outside of the state Labour: Supports abortion file of guest speakers Frances Law is too restricted 25 9 3 has become invisible.” Precious Life in a jurisdiction where it is in cases where there is a risk Kissling and Dr Rebecca Law is too lenient 0 1 0 Gomperts. Both were forced to Prof. William Binchy lawful. Thus last year 6,217 of life or significant injury leave through the back entrance of Law is satisfactory 0 7 0 or conversly freely available – in women traveled to England to the mother, or where the the GMB due to impassioned pro- ‘D’ claims that by forc- Male 14 7 2 other words were unaware of the foetus will be stillborn. ing her to travel to England the legal status of abortion in Ireland. for abortions. Figures for testers outside from Youth Female 11 10 2 Sinn Féin: Supports abortion Defence. government is violating two basic This lack of awareness travel to other European Ms. Kissling in a later human rights: the right not to be and 1991 the Society for the specific details on the procedures among third level students may be countries are unavailable. in cases where there is a risk interview with Trinity News said subject to torture, inhumane or Protection of the Unborn Child followed, Ms O’ Brien was only indicative of a general ignorance of -The biggest age group is of life or significant injury that she didn’t believe that such degrading treatment or punishment (SPUC) took cases against the willing to say that “there is a mech- the issue. It also suggests that it is a 20-29 year olds. to the mother, where the disagreement could be resolved. and the right to respect for private Trinity Students’ Union to prevent anism place, but for confidentiality small number of dedicated foetus will be stillborn or in and family life and no interference them from handing out information reasons we are not at liberty to dis- activists, rather than the population -Abortion info is now avail- “And I don’t think it should”, she able freely following the the case of rape. added, suggesting that it was by a public authority with the exer- on abortion services. close it” at large, that is fighting on this healthier to have continuous cise of this right. If the court finds Today’s SU stance on A survey of students issue. Furthermore it may explain Travel and Information Green Party: Has no policy reassessment and challenge. in favour of ‘D’, it could mean abortion and advice relating to it to taken on the 26th October by why recent referenda have failed to Referendum in 1992. on abortion Reassessment of the extending the right of abortion to students was outlined to Trinity Trinity News in the Arts Block sug- give definitive outcomes, and why The Importance of Trinity’s Money Men Trinity News looks at the role As the level of private funding for Trinity soars, TN profiles some of Irish citizenship played in the being Irish abduction of Rory Carroll the billionaires whose chequebooks line the College’s pockets Gearoid O’ Rourke Chuck Feeney Peter Sutherland Anthony O’Reilly Martin Naughton On Wednesday the 19th October the trial of Saddam Hussein, deposed president of Iraq began. On it rode the coalition’s hope of some sort of closure of the current bloodied chapter in Iraqi history and with that a return to stability in the region. However the events that followed that day and in the fol- lowing 36 hours served to highlight a very different situation. The kidnapping that day of Guardian reporter and Trinity College graduate Rory Carroll has shown that Iraq, despite the best efforts of the coalition and provi- In the words of Michael Meanwhile Irish diplo- - Irish-American billionaire who - Self made billionaire and - Founder, Chairman and major - Chairman of British Petroleum sional government, is still very D. Higgins, Labour spokesman on mats were keen to emphasise the pioneered duty free shopping. Ireland’s wealthiest man, valued at shareholder of electrical appliance (BP) and Goldman Sachs much in a state of turmoil. It also international affairs: "It should be fact that Rory is Irish and not - Founder of worldwide charitable €1.8 billion. manufacturer Glen Dimplex. International. showed the limited extent of the made immediately clear that Mr British. The Dept of Foreign foundation Atlantic Philanthropies. - Part owner of Independent News - Ireland’s tenth richest man with a - Former Attorney General and control exercised by the coalition Carroll is a professional carrying Affairs released a statement saying - The largest funder of Irish educa- and Media, Eircom and Waterford fortune in excess of €450 million. member of the Council of State. powers even within the very capi- out his task of reporting objective- “The Government are determined tion after the government Crystal. - Assets include part share in the - Former EC Commissioner for tol of the country. Lawlessness ly on the Middle East, something to do all within their power to - Anonymously gave away 99.9% - Former chief executive of food Merrion Hotel, three Dublin office Competition Policy. seems to reign in vast tracts of the he has done with fairness and dis- secure the release of Rory Carroll, of his $5 billion fortune giant Heinz. blocks, and an extensive art collec- -First Director General of the country and the coalitions efforts tinction to date." a Dublin-born Irish citizen.” - Reportedly owns no property or - Former Irish international rugby tion. World Bank. have so far been inadequet to tack- The Guardian has also Ireland’s policy of neu- car and flies economy class. star. Mr Naughton has been a constant - Reputed to be a high ranking le the problem. been critical of the invasion and the trality may often be derided by crit- Mr Feeney’s foundation, Atlantic -Vice-Chancellor of the University supporter the Trinity Foundation member of the secretive Carroll was not the first coalition’s subsequent actions in ics as nothing more than lip service Philanthropies, has been by far the of Dublin. and sits on the board alongside Bilderberg group. journalist to be abducted from Sadr Iraq. It has been seen as sympathet- but it is in situations such as Rory largest private contributor to the Mr O’Reilly has been a consistent Messrs O’Reilly and Sutherland. Mr Sutherland is also a regular City in this manner. However it is ic to the Iraqi population and as a Carrolls abduction that the benefits Trinity College coffers. It has pub- donor to Trinity College through He made a much publicised €5 supporter of and contributor to the not the frequency of these abduc- very fair reporter of events in the of being Irish become apparent. licly donated over €32 million to his trust, the O’Reilly Foundation. million contribution earlier this prestigious Trinity Foundation. tions that is most disturbing in region. This was highlighted by the Coupled with the well held reputa- the college since 2001. This fund- He has supported neuroscience year to the CRANN institute of His main interest is in the area of itself. The most disturbing aspect fact that a leading Islamic cleric in tion of the Guardian newspaper in ing has supported areas including and Jewish studies in Trinity. The nanoscience, currently under con- European and international rela- of Carroll’s and others abductions the region Sheikh Yusuf al- the East, Carroll’s Irish citizenship Non-Profit Management, tions. The Sutherland Centre for O’Reilly Institute (near Pearse St struction on the corner of Westland is quoted by many as a major rea- Neuroscience and Ageing. Smaller International Integration bears his Dart station) is named in his hon- Row and Pearse St. son for his release. From the grants have been given for research name. Mr Sutherland is a trustee of our. Mr O’Reilly sits on the board moment that his abduction became into sexual differences and the pay- the Trinity Foundation. of trustees of the Trinity widely known all efforts were ment of sabbatical leave for a for- Foundation. made to emphasise this Irish citi- mer Provost. zenship. He was issued with an A large proportion of private of €5 million, with a condition of said: “Donors are not looking for Irish language passport and it was gifts to Trinity come from anonymity attached. For these glory. They’re not interested in self Irish diplomats who contacted Anonymous donors who prefer to keep donorsremaining in the back- promotion. So why publicise it?” intermediatories in Bagdad. their identity a secret. Many ground is important and Trinity has These selfless donations are an as Fellow journalists in Iraq unidentified individuals and always respected this. The Trinity essential part of Trinity’s funding spread information about his Donations trusts have given contribu- Foundation’s Director, Mr Nick as the funding provided by those nationality to contacts on the tions, on some occasions in excess Sparrow,talking to Trinity News such as the gentlemen above. is the impunity with which the Qaradawi, based in Qatar, said ground and a special office, almost opportunists who carry them out "The Guardian newspaper is well- in the vein of a temporary Irish Companies Allied Irish Bank DCC The Irish Times can operate with outside the imme- known for its professional report- embassy, was set up in the British Authentik Depfa Bank KPMG diate areas of coalition control ing and its fair coverage of the consulate. It seems that while it The vast majority of pri- Bank of Ireland Elan Matheson Ormsby Prentice Rory Carroll was kid- rights of oppressed peoples and may have become almost fashion- vate funds raised by Bank of Scotland Friends First Molex napped within the Sadr City region just causes around the world." able to criticise Irelands flimsy Bloxham Stickbrokers Ganly Walters The New York Times There was a feeling on the ground neutrality, planes or no planes in Trinity College come of Bagdad, a notoriously dangerous Bristol Myers Squibb Gateway Novo Nordisk area since the fall of Saddam. that the Guardian and Mr Carroll Shannon, Irelands stance and repu- from wealthy individuals Citigroup GlaxoSmithKline Pfizer Returning from an interview with a were the good guys and not fair tation in the internationall commu- or charitable foundations Cement Roadstone Holdings HJ Heinz Roche Products local family about the start of game for such an opportunistic nity still holds a lot of water. (CRH) IAWS The Special Olympics abduction. On his realease Mr and trusts. However, Huessin’s trial Carroll was halted David Clarke & Company Irish Life and Permanent at gunpoint and bundled into a A more reassuring aspect Carroll urged that it’s vital for a many businesses also waiting car. This was to be the to the case was the speed of the strong media presence to remain in contribute to the Trinity beginning of a 36 hour ordeal diplomatic and political response. Iraq. More importantly it is impor- Within hours of the abduction the tant that a strong independent Foundation. Here is a which gripped both the Irish and international communities. Irish and coalition governments as media presence be maintained after selection of the corpora- Carroll’s history of well as the international media had strong criticisms that have been ? reporting in Iraq did not make him opened channels with links in leveled at embedded journalists. tions that have donated in ? an immediate target for abduction. Bagdad with a view to rescue. The However it is a concern that inde- excess of €10,000 over ? Since his arrival from his post in editor of the Guardian newspaper pendent journalists face risks such the last three years: North Africa he has been critical of Alan Rusbridger publically urged as abduction and possibly murder. the coalition and had made an “those holding him (Rory) to To paraphrase Mr Carroll the inter- effort to highlight the plight of release him swiftly – for the sake of national media’s presence is essen- ‘oppressed’ Iraqi citizens. He had his family and for the sake of any- tial but a story should never come even covered the alleged killing of one who believes the world needs at the cost of a life. Thankfully that several indigenous reporters by to be kept fully informed about wasn’t the cost in this case. coalition forces earlier this year. events in Iraq today.”

6 Tuesday November 1, 2005 Editor: Anne Marie Ryan National News Trinity News High Court injunction Medicine reform: forces students to leave unfinished building increased places on the premises, plywood sheets many difficulties when searching Anne-Marie Ryan used to cover the lift shafts and no for accommodation and dealing Around 40 students from various escape routes in case of an emer- with landlords. colleges around Dublin were gency. At a the recent launch of forced to leave their accommoda- The residents had a Union of Students in Ireland and graduate entry tion last month as a result of a high already paid a deposit of €600 to (USI) rent book, Welfare Officer court injunction preventing them their landlord. Many of the stu- Tom Lowth commented on the from remaining in an unfinished dents have requested their deposits problems experienced by students building which they had been back and are currently moving to in their search for rented accom- Anne-Marie Ryan tificate undergraduate route. government does not increase the gramme, these lessen with time. allowed to move into. alternate accommodation. When modation. “Students continue to be The Head of the School number of medicine places avail- Dr. Aileen Patterson, Major reform of entry into medical The new apartment Trinity News visited the complex one of the most exploited groups in of Medicine at UCD, Professor Bill able. The proposed graduate entry Curriculum Advisor for the School courses in Ireland is set to take block, located off Dorset Street last week it was still covered in the accommodation market. Many Powderly said that a graduate med- system will half the number of of Medicine at TCD told Trinity place in the coming year, with the near the Bolton Street Campus of scaffolding, and builders were are paying exorbitant rents while ical school is to be introduced “for undergraduate entry places avail- News that most graduate pro- Government planning to double the Dublin Institute of Technology working on it. living in sub-standard housing”, he strategic and educational reasons”. able next September in UCD, and grammes employ problem based number of places available in med- (DIT) in North Dublin City was The students were partic- said. “We need to educate and train more could see points rise as high as 600, learning and students study in a icine courses and UCD introducing deemed unfit to live in by Dublin ularly inconvenienced by the There is currently no doctors, and we need to encourage with not all applicants with these self-directed manner. “This is a a graduate medical school in 2006. Fire Brigade, who sought the high injunction however given the diffi- national regulatory body that over- diversity by creating more entry points being selected. much more active form of learning Under the current system, only 300 court injunction. culty of finding accommodation so sees the standard of rented accom- pathways to our medical schools”, As of yet the fee for the than is employed in most tradition- publicly funded medicine places Dublin Fire Brigade close to the city centre when the modation in Ireland and it is cur- he said. course has not been decided and is al 5/6 undergraduate degree pro- are made available annually to Irish inspected the premises following a academic year had already com- rently the responsibility of local It is not necessary for dependant upon the outcome of grammes”, she said. medical schools. But according to complaint made by the Health and menced. authorities to monitor the quality applicants to have a science degree, discussions with the Higher Only 120 students enter new plans due for cabinet approval Safety authority to Dublin City Bernadette Farrell, Vice and safety of such residences. applications will also be accepted Education Authority. However, it is first year medicine in TCD every in the coming weeks the number of Council. President at DIT Student Union The new ‘Rent Book’ from graduates of the arts, social thought that the cost of the course year, 60 of whom are EU students medicine places is set to double, During the course of told Trinity News that she is cur- aims to provide students with sciences and other areas. However will be in the region of €15,000. with the other 60 entrants coming with 725 places becoming avail- their investigation they found that rently working with some of the information regarding their ten- all applicants will have to undergo The UCD graduate medi- from overseas. A limited number of able for Irish, EU and non-EU stu- wires had been left exposed, paint- DIT students involved to rectify the ants’ rights and contains advice on an internationally-recognised cine course is set to compliment the direct entry places are available in dents. work was unfinished and smoke situation. She has been liaising looking for accommodation, details entrance examination which will UCD Horizons programme, where the Second and Third medical year During the economic detectors were not fully connected with the landlord’s representative, of tenancy agreements, information test the candidate’s scientific students who are majoring in non- to students who fulfil the designat- depression of the 1980s, a cap of in the brand new apartment com- the national housing organisation on health and safety requirements knowledge as well as their general science degrees can take life sci- ed criteria. This year also sees the 308 medicine places was set in plex. Residents had also experi- Threshold and the Private and information on how to make a apititude for medicine. Prospective ence modules, which will be useful start of a new five year medicine order to control the costs of educat- enced disruption to the water and Residential Tenancies Board complaint about landlords to the students will also be interviewed. later if they opt for graduate entry course at Trinity with an additional ing doctors. In spite of the chronic electricity supplies and the outside (PRTB). Ms. Farrell has also found PRTB. The rent book also provides UCD hopes to achieve a 50:50 bal- to medicines. ‘intern year’ spent in designated under-staffing of the health service of the building was still covered in alternative accommodation for students with a useful way to ance between graduates and Academic research into hospitals. which has come about since then, scaffolding. those who have requested it. A full record payments to their landlords. school-leavers on its medicine differences between the perform- Dr. Patterson said that the number of students entering According to a report in hearing of the case is due shortly. The book is available in students’ course by 2010. ance of students in four year medi- she was not in a position to com- medicine courses each year in The Irish Times, The building was Although this is an unions around the country and also UCD Students’ Union cine courses and five/six years ment on whether or not the School TCD, UCD, Royal College of deemed to constitute a major fire extreme case, students encounter on the USI website www.usi.ie. President James Carroll recently courses published in Medical of Medicine at TCD was planning a Surgeons, NUI Galway and UCC hazard, with no fire retardant doors expressed concern regarding a Education in November 2004 has graduate entry system similar to the has remained static. jump in points requirements for concluded that while there are one in UCD. The proposed increase medicine in UCD next year if the small differences early in the pro- however, brought about as a result of the recommendations of the Hanly report on the health service, is hoped to alleviate pressure on the health service as well bring under control the increasing Leaving Certificate points required for entry into such courses. However due to the enor- mous demand for medicine courses which far outstrips supply, it is thought that an increase in medi- cine places will not bring about a significant decrease in the CAO points required for entry. This year’s entrants to medicine at TCD required a points score of 590 out of a maximum possible score of 600 points. Part of the government’s plans is to introduce a two-tier sys- tem of entry to medicine courses for both school leavers and gradu- ates. This plan is similar to the new Irish exam causes con- graduate entry system to medicine recently announced by UCD. UCD hope to begin a graduate medicine programme in troversy in NUI Galway September 2006, where postgradu- ate students will complete a four Galway to be able to lecture The plaintiff’s council William Aherne year course that will lead to the through the Irish language. sought for Mr. Justice Michael same degree as students entering Mr. Éamon Ó Cuív, Minister for Although the Irish exam Peart to have the issue struck out through the traditional leaving cer- Community, Rural and Gaetacht is not mandatory the belief is gen- following discussions between affairs has told Trinity News that erally held, that to attain a pass in it both parties. The entire issue was new legislation will replace the is a serious advantage in persuing a successfully resolved and the lec- controversial 1929 University lectureship position at NUI turer was appointed to the position College Galway Act, which was at Galway. that was vacant. the centre of a recent high court Mr. Ó Cuív said that new Paddy Reilly, Students’ action. legislation will remove the current Union president at NUI Galway, The National University requirement of the 1929 Act. told Trinity News that he thought USI launch ‘Mind of Ireland Galway (NUIG) was “Discussions have taken place the exam was a good idea at the embroiled in a legal battle recently between my Department and the time of the university’s inception over the academic appointment of Department of Education & but it is does not suit the current a lecturer to the faculty of Law on Science, and the National needs of the college. “As a result of the grounds of sitting and passing University of Ireland, Galway, in the ever-expanding profile of the an Irish exam. relation to the replacing of the 1929 specialised teaching and research The Irish exam for lec- University College Galway Act, in the University, it has become Yourself’ mental turing positions has been obligato- with a more modern piece of legis- somewhat outdated. Thankfully, ry for years at NUI Galway this is lation more suited to today’s it'll be addressed in upcoming leg- due in part to legislation under the requirements,particularly in the islation in this session of the Dáil, University College Galway Act context of the Official Languages which we (the SU) support”, he 1929, which compels staff at NUI Act”, he said. said. health campaign

Board Students Ireland (USI), in conjunction with “‘Mind Yourself’” he feels, will able on their campuses, for exam- Jennifer Gallagher Lundbeck Ireland and the “encourage students to develop the ple Student Counselling and A round-up of what students have been talking about on their mes- These are the best days of our Samaritans, launched a national coping skills and support networks Health Services and peer support lives. Getting the first taste of mental health campaign ‘Mind they’ll need to help them through networks. sage boards around the country independence. Meeting new, inter- Yourself’ on the 24th of October. college”. Reactions from students around campus. for students available on campus, esting people everyday. Having a This campaign aims to shatter the The campaign also aims have been positive and enthusias- Anne Marie Ryan Meanwhile in NUI but have praised the new student social life that extends far beyond stigma attached to mental health to raise awareness among students tic. “College can be a really lonely problems among Irish students and so that they can recognise the place sometimes, especially in first In UCC students have been debat- Galway, students have been dis- newspaper in DIT ‘The Compact’. the confines of a few pints in the to promote communication as the signs that may indicate a person year. Students go from knowing ing which faculties have the best cussing where the best place for a Meanwhile students at local on a Saturday night. best approach to tackling any may be in difficulty. This is an everyone in their school to walk- looking female members – while nap is on campus, with contributors the University of Ulster want their Switching off the alarm and con- issues encountered. The campaign important factor in that other stu- ing into a lecture theatre full of Arts has emerged as the most proposing an on-campus sleeping student union to have stress and veniently forgetting about your 9 involves the distribution of leaflets dents will be the first to notice strangers” according to 3rd year attractive faculty, students have area. Freshers at the college are mental health as their main priority o’clock lecture in order to nurse informing students about mental changes in behaviour of their fel- psychology student Laura proposed holding contests between singing the praises of Galway city for awareness campaigns this year. the killer hangover brought to you health and well-being. A series of low students. Tom Lowth, USI Gormley. “Along with the stress of faculties to decide. Most students as a place to live in comparison Contributors to the stu- courtesy of the afore-mentioned free college events on the subject Welfare Officer encouraged other trying to negotiate the campus, a agree that the university has a high with the Pale. A major point of dent section of the website hectic social life. Students, it of mental health have been students “to look out for the men- new course and way of learning, quota of attractive female students, debate has also been which sports boards.ie have been debating would seem have never had it so arranged in UCC, NUI Galway tal health of their friends in col- students may be away from home however some students have club has the nicest hoody, with the which is the best university in good. and in UCD with comedian Jason lege too”, especially given that for the first time and feeling vul- expressed concern that there are Kayak club narrowly emerging vic- Ireland, with one contributor plac- However, it may come Byrne, psychologist Trish Murphy “83% of students would discuss nerable. The ‘Mind Yourself’ cam- genuinely no good-looking men torious and another web poll has ing TCD at the top for arts, science as a surprise to discover that and student union welfare officers. feelings of anxiety with a friend”. paign is a great reminder to all of attending UCC. Cork students are concluded that it is not yet time for and medicine, although another although the majority of Irish stu- Although student life The ‘Mind Yourself’ us to look after ourselves and keep also concerned about the lack of Dustin the Turkey to stop releasing contributor criticised TCD as being dents rate their mental health as can appear to be care free, “going campaign will be run in conjunc- an eye out for those who might water fountains available in college singles. the worst college for non-academic good, one in thirteen Irish students to college can be a very stressful tion with welfare officers who will need assistance”. and the persistent fashion for In DIT contributors have facilities having no student centre suffer from depression. With this time” according to Tony inform and remind students of the orange faces and snow boots been criticising the lack of parking and a small sports hall. in mind, the Union of Students in McDonnell, President of the USI. different relevant services avail- Tuesday November 1, 2005 7 International Trinity News After the Earthquake Volunteering Abroad - More Than GOAL’s reporter Liam Horan is currently working with the GOAL emergency response team in Pakistan, where over 50,000 people are thought to be dead after Package Holidays with a Conscience the October 8th earthquake. In this article, he describes the scene in Bagh, where in its own way, but not for me. volunteers are actively encouraged to ‘maverick’ aid group among the devel- Emily Sharratt But, trawling the internet contribute their own skills and ideas. opment sector in Sri Lanka, the fact that GOAL are concentrating their efforts. As summer approached last year I, with such specific requirements in While I was there, some of the boys PG05 has no political or religious ties, along with countless other library- mind, I soon discovered that the oppor- working to build playgrounds in the or any of the problems associated with It lay abandoned and almost un-noticed sands of people now homeless in Bagh. village of tents, tarpaulin, and other ad- crazed students, turned my mind to tunities to volunteer where I could be camps started up a project to provide larger and better-known NGOs, has also on the pile of rubble that was a school Less than three weeks ago, hoc premises: three of them are tempo- what to do with the four month break. genuinely useful, and not have to pay a schools and clubs with football equip- helped them bypass a lot of red-tape just a week ago. “Sales Return Book” life was normal in Bagh. Anytown, any- rary hospitals where various agencies All fired up by the Suas development fortune for the privilege, were scarce. ment. Since I’ve been home I have and just get on with their projects. the young student had written at the top where. People shopped, played cricket, dispense what medical support they can course which I took in Trinity term, I The few organisations that didn’t ask checked PG05’s website and have seen As time goes on and the of the page. held casual conversations in the street. manage in an inhospitable environ- began to consider the possibility of vol- for money were looking for volunteers that this project has already been immediate urgency of the situation is Was it a boy or a girl who A busy economic centre, the city served ment. unteering somewhere. A perfect oppor- who had a specific skill, such as nurs- expanded, with new aims to encourage alleviated somewhat, inevitably PG05 opened the account? What dreams did people who lived up to 40km away. The injured lie there per- tunity to perhaps be of use to someone, ing, engineering or the like. Not many girls to play football as well, in a bid to has run into more and more delays with he or she nurture for a life but starting? It has now been transformed plexed how life came to this. Families to gain a bit of perspective (as well as prospects for an unqualified arts stu- encourage gender equality. local councils, new post-tsunami plan- Or did they survive – only a few did into a surreal Hollywood-like location. are still ferrying their injured loved new skills and experiences) and to see a dent. Another long term volunteer ning laws and insurance issues, to name from this school in Bagh, so probably Helicopters fly overhead. People mill ones there, carrying them on stretchers different part of the world. I had more or less given up was in the initial stages of research into but a few. Their reputation in the area not? around the city, seeking food here, a and even on beds. Some of the injured However, I had done a ‘vol- when I came across a link to Project a new project while we were there. Sri remains largely unchanged, however. Of all the suffering in Bagh, blanket there, and all the while watch- are evacuated by army helicopters to unteering-holiday’ before, and this had Galle 2005 on the Lonely Planet web- Lanka is listed as one of the countries The nearest beach town to Galle, the tales from the missing schoolrooms ing in disbelief as the city they once hospitals in Islamabad. left me with very specific ideas about site. PG05 was set up in the Sri Lankan with the highest level of alcoholism in Unawatuna, where most of the project’s are perhaps the worst. Nearby, at the knew is transformed beyond belief. “It will take years to rebuild how I would like to do it differently. city of Galle in the immediate aftermath the world, with World Bank statistics volunteers stay while working, is evi- girls’ college, a young man of about 22 And there is an edge now to this city. People will be homeless, and During my gap year I travelled to of the tsunami last December. It was claiming that 30% of Sri Lankan fami- dence of how much can be achieved, on years of age keeps a lonesome vigil. the need: the instances of looting living in tents, for years,” added Mr Mexico for three and a half months with founded by a group of individuals who lies use alcohol and spend more than a small scale, by an organisation like “My mother was principal appear to be rising, and at least one shot Jordan. a British company called Teaching and Project Galle. Living there for over four of the school. She is fine, and all the was fired during an altercation in the “The weather gets even Projects Abroad. Barely out of school, weeks, it would have been impossible staff are fine, but 75 students are dead. city late at night. The cover of darkness colder at night in the next few weeks. “PG05 do not ask for anything more from their volunteers and a little nervous at the prospect of not to have heard of PG05, even had I We could hear some of them crying for increases the sense of menace. It’s freezing already. The colder it gets, than willingness to work, an ability to fund themselves, and travelling so far by myself, I didn’t real- not been working for them. From the help after the earthquake, but we could- “It is getting out of control,” the worse conditions will get and peo- ly baulk at the £2,000 fee they charged respect for the local culture” tables and chairs made for the roti (tasty n’t do anything for them,” says Tipu says GOAL’s Ray Jordan, an experi- ple will get even more frustrated. It for the three month placement. local snack)-man’s shop, to the coconut Tanwix. enced disaster relief official. “There is could get very nasty.” But when I got out to found themselves in the Galle area on 30% of their income on it. Similarly, trees planted along the beach, most of “After a while, the shouting no co-ordination of the general relief What the immediate future Mexico I couldn’t help but wonder December 26th last year, and who drug addictions (with heroin presenting the locals know of, and have something stopped. We got out what bodies we effort. The traffic jams alone are unbe- holds for Bagh is unclear. The scene is what had happened to all the money I realised that by joining forces they the greatest problem) are on the rise. positive to say about ‘the Galle could and buried them, but now we are lievable – nothing is moving. being replicated in other cities and had earned and raised. And I found could achieve much more than their The UN Office of Drugs Crimes argues Project’, even without the blazoning of waiting here for earth-movers to come “It is crazy here. And that’s towns around the country. Right now, a many other volunteers asking the same individual efforts. They received the that most heroin addicts in Sri Lanka their name all over the place that some along to help us find the rest. We don’t just in the city – we are hoping to get resident of Bagh has no greater thing. The project, having assured us of sponsorship (I THINK SO, YES) of the require more than their daily income to NGOs resort to. On one of my last days have that equipment here.” out into the countryside around Bagh prospect than a functioning generator 24-hour support, more or less left us to British High Commission in Sri Lanka maintain their habit. These problems I ran into Mike, who makes and sells And so he stands at the very soon to see how bad things are and a winterized tent. our own devices for the duration of the and have been doing valuable work in have become even more pressing since necklaces on the beach, and is known school every hour of the day, hoping there. We are hearing that it’s extreme- GOAL, and other agencies, trip. When questioned, they said that the Galle area ever since. the tsunami and many PG05 volunteers amongst volunteers as a terrible practi- that the next vehicle in the gate will be ly bad and those people will need huge have commenced the job of giving peo- the remaining money not used for trav- PG05 do not ask for any- working in camps and elsewhere saw cal-joker. Grinning broadly he told me the one to begin the clear-up. assistance too.” ple tents, food, and other medical sup- el or accommodation went towards thing more from their volunteers than their tragic effects on a daily basis. The that Project Galle had given him vouch- The school’s giant general Down by the river, where plies. Progress will be slow, but after their advertising costs. Hmmm. willingness to work, an ability to fund aforementioned PG05 volunteer is now ers to buy a new cart so that he can purposes room has been transformed perhaps locals strolled and took their the week just put down by the people of What was more, our useful- themselves, and respect for the local looking into the possibility of setting up wheel his necklaces (and books when into a warehouse to store food. This leisure during Bagh’s warm summer Bagh, it will be welcome. ness within our placements was debat- culture. The projects they run have some kind of rehabilitation scheme for he starts up his mobile library) along food will be distributed to the thou- days, a new village has sprung up. It’s a able to say the least. On my first day, changed in the months since the tsuna- the camps. the beach. Just a small thing, but a per- the head of English in the school where mi, evolving with the needs as and In addition to the 30-40 fect example of why Project Galle is so I was to be teaching looked at me with when they arise. For example, in the short-term volunteers, and roughly 10 well-loved in the area. It was a nice the same “what am I supposed to do days immediately following December long-term internationals, PG05 memory to take away with me when I with you for three months?” expression 26th, the most urgent work was obvi- employs over 60 Sri Lankans, as driv- left Galle. that comes into the eyes of any employ- ously removing bodies from the rubble, ers, translators, project leaders, bursars, I don’t wish to suggest that er presented with a sixteen-year old on clearing debris and providing water and kitchen staff, and office clerks. It is PG05 is perfect; I know that some of work experience. She led me into a food for those left with nothing. More largely due to their involvement that the long-term volunteers have become a classroom of about forty rowdy, undis- than nine months on, they have initiated PG05 has been so successful at identi- little disillusioned about the effective- ciplined teenagers and presented me and expanded projects as diverse and fying the local needs and providing for ness of aid in a country like Sri Lanka. with the world’s most boring, irrelevant important as helping people to get back them. Most of the money donated inter- However, the whole experience was a and comically inaccurate text-book to work by providing them with essen- nationally after the tsunami went to the world away from my time as a volun- ever, and then retreated out of the line tial equipment, monitoring the camps larger NGOs and aid agencies. While teer in Mexico. The genuine enthusiasm of paper aeroplanes and flying eggs and working to improve them, taking they obviously had greater funds, man- and dedication buzzing round the (don’t ask.) Don’t get me wrong, it was photos of family groups in camps, pro- power and experience in the develop- Project Galle office, as well the oppor- loads of fun, in a ‘Dangerous Minds’ viding accurate maps of all the camps ment sector, many of them had little or tunity to work and build up relation- sort of way, but I’m not sure whether and temporary housing in the region, no history of work in Sri Lanka. The ships with locals, reassured me that it is the kids even noticed when I walked out encouraging ecological and environ- fact that PG05 were equipped with local possible to volunteer as an independent on my last day. The conclusion I drew mental awareness in schools, and run- knowledge soon marked them out, and traveller. was that TAPA, and other similar organ- ning movie nights in the camps. they have been liaising with, and isations provided a sort of ‘package hol- Project Galle is completely receiving funding from, better known iday with a conscience’ service, useful democratic and non-hierarchical and NGOs since February. Known as the 8 International Review Editor: Doaa Baker Tuesday November 1st, 2005 Trinity News INTERNATIONAL REVIEW Standing On The Frontline

who testified as to the continuous longest civil wars in Latin America, been active in Darfur providing hunger strike. stream human rights. Indeed many Eleanor Kelly on the people fighting abuse of human rights in a country from 1962 until 1996. humanitarian assistance to the hun- That the work of attested that human rights activism for human rights at the frontline which claims to be its champion, Today those especially dreds of thousands who have been Frontline for Human Rights is continuously and wrongly inter- both at home and abroad. Laura vulnerable to human rights abuses forced to flee their homes as a Defenders does bear fruit is evident preted as political activism. It is mires such as the UN might Germino, from the “Coalition of are Guatemala’s poor and indige- result of the conflict. Dr Mudawi in the fact that Dr. Mudawi was not. What the Mayan people of “I have been arrested over one emanate with regard to Human Immokalee Workers” outlined the nous peoples whose very existence has been arrested three times in the able to attend this year’s platform Guatemala, the migrant workers of hundred times under false charges. Rights these Human Rights plight of migrant workers in the has been threatened by deliberate last eighteen months as a result of unimpeded. A recurring theme Florida and all those like them ask I can be ‘disappeared’ at any time.” Defenders were some of the tomato industry in Florida. Classed and systematic repression from for transcends politics. This testimony was kindest, most courageous, by one Justice Department Official Guatemalan military forces and the “What marks them out from their so called counter- More than forty years given by Cheri Honkala of the eccentric and good humored peo- as ‘ground zero for modern slav- economic interests of large ago, Dag Hammarsjold, second ‘Poor People’s Economic Human ple I have ever had the privilege of parts in the ivory towers of Geneva, Brussels, and ery’ their plight was evocative of a landowners. Mayan scholars esti- Secretary General of the United Rights Campaign’, a Human Rights meeting - What marks these New York is their willingness to act after all the talk- modern day version of Steinbeck’s mate that Indigenous peoples Nations, said that ‘the constant Defender from the United States. Defenders out from their so called ‘The Grapes of Wrath’. South account for up to 60% of the popu- ing is done...” struggle to close the gap between She joined more than one hundred counterparts in the ivory towers of Florida has had up to six cases of lation. However backed by power- aspiration and performance makes other Human Rights Defenders Geneva, Brussels, and New York is involuntary servitude – slavery – ful state officials, large land owners his human rights work. On amongst Human Rights Defenders the difference between civilization from over seventy countries at the their willingness to act after all the prosecuted in recent years. have been allowed to undertake December 28th 2003 he was arrest- is the need to focus international and chaos’. Today Human Rights third Dublin platform of ‘Frontline talking is done. This is done for lit- Describing the local migrant-con- unauthorized logging and ranching, ed by the Sudanese security forces attention on their work. Most Defenders around the world contin- Defenders’ in Dublin Castle from tle if any monetary reward. Rather tractor power dynamics one Border and the extraction of natural and held for over seven months Human Rights Defenders report ue to try and close that gap. Faced the 13th to the 15th of October. than status they instead suffer con- Patrol guard said “Most of the time resources abusing the Mayan peo- before he was released and all that an increased international pro- with countless examples of human Frontline is an International stant surveillance and threats to these workers are housed miles ple’s rights to their land and threat- charges against him dropped. file improves their security due to rights outrages around the world Organization for the Protection of them and their families. These from civilization with no tele- ening their environment. Arrested again in January 2005 he the consequent heightened poten- many of us may find it hard to Human Rights Defenders, defend- Defenders were here because like phones or cars. They’re control- That these sites are of was held in a secret detention cen- tial political costs of action against muster much optimism. However ing those who champion the so many other Human Rights lable. There’s no escape. If you do huge historical and cultural impor- tre, a “ghost house” in solitary con- them. Those who would persecute if we cannot be optimistic we must Universal Declaration of Human Defenders, they are so engaged escape, what are you going to tance not just for the Mayan people finement. Following a hunger Human Rights Defenders are slow- at least be aware. It’s about time Rights. Each of the participants had with their work to protect others do?...Whoever’s got you, they’ll but for the world is unquestionable. strike undertaken by Dr Mudawi in er to do so when they know that the the world knew who Cheri been selected on the basis that they they often ignore their own safety. find you and heaven help you when Linguistically too the Mayan peo- protest against his imprisonment, others in the international commu- Honkala, Dr Mudawi, Laura are at risk because of the human However their time in Ireland also they do” . One of the main giant ple are under threat with a corrupt the denial of any medical attention nity are watching. Germino and their counterparts are. rights work in their own country. offered them a period of respite so co-operative buying mechanisms justice system that rarely conducts or access to lawyers and family, he Throughout the platform They are the voice of the voiceless. My personal involve- that my work as a volunteer also that fuels and profits from this proceedings in indigenous lan- was released but subsequently Human Rights defenders from And we? We should listen. ment with ‘Frontline Defenders’ included some more lighthearted modern day slavery is the restau- guages. A fact all the more repre- charged with ‘attempting to com- around the world were unanimous- and the Third Dublin platform moments such as accompanying a rant chain Taco Bell, a fact that hensible given that dialects of the mit suicide’ with relation to his ly agreed in the necessity to main- began at the start of the summer particularly colourful group of launched the CIW’s ‘Boycott the Mayan language under threat today when as a volunteer with the pro- female Defenders shopping to one Bell’ campaign. are closely related to the languages posed African delegates I began to of those universally appreciated In a week that had seen used in the inscriptions on the organise their travel arrangements destinations; Penney’s. the plight of indigenous peoples of ancient Mayan sites in Guatemala. and visas for the October platform. The aim of the confer- Guatemala brought to the fore due Human Rights Defenders and Working with Human Rights ence over the following days was to devastating mudslides the testi- organizations who act and speak Defenders from the Democratic to allow the Defenders a platform mony of a defender from the out against such offences have met Republic of the Congo, Togo, to discuss the changing nature of ‘Centro de Accion Legal en with further human rights offences, Rwanda, the Ivory Coast and ‘disappearances’, torture and the Burundi I was soon immersed in “Indeed many attested that Human Rights activism execution of members and leaders. the bureaucratic mire of transit Perhaps one of the high- visas, Schengen visas and the orga- is continuously and wrongly interpreted as political lights of the Frontline Conference nizational difficulties of getting activism. It is not.” was the testimony of Dr. Mudawi Defenders from some of the Derechos Humanos’ in Guatemala Ibrahim Adam, Chairperson of the remotest parts of Africa to Dublin. the threats that they face and what was all the more topical. In the ‘Sudan Social Development Added to this were the travel diffi- measures can be most effective to shadow of the Guatemalan govern- Organization’ (SUDO). Dr. culties that arose for those ensure their protection. A major ment’s refusal last week of any Mudawi received the Frontline Defenders who might have been part of the platform over the fol- serious aid and the apathy of gov- Award in May of this year however blacklisted within their own coun- lowing days was the testimonies of ernmental officials to those indige- was unable to attend the ceremony tries due to their political activism various Defenders highlighting nous villages affected by the disas- in Dublin having been arrested and more alarmingly the multitude their causes and the risks incurred ter, this Human Rights Defender days beforehand in Khartoum and of security issues, such as phone in their every day work. Their evi- outlined the legacy of genocide released a number of days later. tapping, that arose when contacting dence formed a tapestry of human against the indigenous peoples of His wife and daughter traveled to the defenders. However all of rights offences around the world her country, particularly the Mayan Dublin and collected the award these preparations came to from diverse and sometimes unex- people. There, a climate of impuni- from Mary Mc Aleese in his stead. fruition on Wednesday the 12th of pected sources. ty continues to prevail in SUDO is an independent NGO October when the Defenders Cheri Honkala, men- Guatemala for most human rights dedicated to the promotion and arrived in Dublin. tioned at the start of this article, violations, including those perpe- protection of human rights, peace Far from the lofty pre- was one of two Human Rights trated during the civil war. building and development. Under tensions that bureaucratic quag- Defenders from the United States Guatemala lived through one of the Dr Mudawi’s leadership SUDO has Angela Merkel and Dermot Aherne at conference Iraq - In One Sorry State As the state of affairs deteriorates daily in Iraq, William Aherne reviews the situation:

There was yet another scene of Janabi terrorised the twelve long-awaited result of the carnage in Iraq as coalition enduring trial lawyers who October 15th constitutional ref- forces attempted to ferret out appeared at the first gathering of erendum which was confidently twenty insurgents from five Al- Saddam’s trail on behalf of the passed with a 78.59% approval Qaida safe houses near ejected tyrant and seven former rate in Iraq’s eighteen provinces. Husaybah on the Syrian border. officials from his Sunni-domi- President Bush said: “The Iraqis According to the US military, nated Ba’athist regime. are making inspiring progress they were used by foreign mili- The murder bears simi- towards building a democracy.” tants to harbour Islamic terror- larities to the death of other This comment comes as the ists. This latest engagement adds Sunni Arabs who were abducted resounding success of the consti- three more U.S. soldiers to the by men in stolen police uniforms tution now allows for the elec- list of those members of the U.S. professing to be members of the tion of a parliament on military who have been killed Interior Ministry, only to be December 15th. Meanwhile since the war started in March found dead with gun shot some Iraqi commentators have 2003, and which topped 2,000 wounds in the back of their noted that the results of the con- late last week. stitutional referendum, which Coalition fighter planes ‘The number of mem- was passed despite the large were also used as part of a pre- turnout of Sunni Arabs to try cision joint strike operation, in bers of the US mili- and crush it, could enrage an conjunction with raids on tary killed since the already volatile situation and weapon caches and bomb mak- increase the support for the ing material in two neighbour- start of the war in country’s Sunni–led insurgents. hoods near Husaybah according March 2003 topped However international and Iraqi to U.S. military sources. experts searching for irregulari- In the meantime 2,000 late last ties poured over the results of defence lawyers have discarded week...’ the election. Delays in three ter- an offer of improved protection ritories including Nivnevah had for them by Iraqi Interior heads. Sunni leaders have seriously delayed the announce- Ministry officials after the blamed these butcherings on ment of the results until last abduction and slaughter of one Shi’ite death squads apparently Tuesday. But official observers of their co-workers. linked to the Iraqi Ministry. In played down concerns over In a shocking new the meantime Government offi- deception and insisted no fraud twist and sign of the further cials reject any shouldering of had been discovered. breakdown in law and order, the responsibility, instead blaming Either way Iraq is in a public prosecutor has suggested the violence on the insurgents sorry state of affairs. Only time that they required U.S. security, who have a record of accom- will tell how events will being deeply suspicious that the plishment for these kinds of progress. I’m not a golfer but I Iraqi police have Shi’ite Muslim attacks. think the metaphor is “You play elements, which may have been In other news, U.S it as it lays” behind the killing of Sunni President George Bush, along Arabs. with UN elections officials The torture and execu- based in Iraq, welcomed the tion of lawyer Saadoun Al- Smoke fills the sky as Baghdad burns Tuesday November 1, 2005 Features Editors: Kathryn Segesser and Liz Johnson 9 FEATURES Trinity News Pride - the second of seven A Googlers Guide To Pride.com dreams”. How macho. and the host of the talent show one in three gay men and women Kathryn Segesser Now, I’m not one to be Star Search and on TV's Bloopers “struggle with the disease of cynical but I’m slightly unsure as and Practical Jokes”. That’s a chemical dependency” struck me Oh Google, how I do love thee. to whether or not the entire point rather high standard to beat. as very high but their must be a Let me count the ways. When of this exercise is to simply find As if that wasn’t enough market for a specifically non het- worrying about what article to the best of the best, that PRIDE excitement they’re product list is erosexual medical clinic. Not sure write this magical little website FC is a pure sport. For example, pretty impressive. Scooters such as this is exactly up the people of kindly provided the answers. I names such as Mirko “Cro Cop” the “Quantum Rehab” and “Jazzy” PRIDE FC’s street, but the ‘sign- decided to type in the word ‘Pride’ Filipovic of Croatia and Ikuhisa are just part of the range. For posts of trouble’ make it clear they and see where the wave of life “The Punk” Minowa of Japan those of us not quite willing to know what they’re doing. would take me. I’ve got to admit seem to have a slightly theatrical spend all the pennies, the good One little signpost of that I was expecting an overload feel to them. Maybe that’s just me. people at Pride Mobility have also trouble of my own was the lack of of gay pride websites, and perhaps Then again, this stuff obviously created a range of “Pride Gear”; pricing given anywhere on the if I had limited the search to goes down well (one word – “hot accessories”. The guys at website. Now, this may just be a Ireland only I might have got dif- Americans) as lucky punters who PRIDE FC could take note from built in student reflex but my ferent results, but the listings were can’t get enough of the muscle can the high name calibre. Imagine my guard automatically goes up surprisingly varied. purchase dvds and a PRIDE glove disappointment when I realised whenever I fail to see a big shiny Ok, so the first hit I got replica key chain. Surely the gift that these lovely little small off price label. I wonder how much was for a website entitled PRIDE this Christmas. road vehicles are not yet avalible the people of the Pride Institute FC (it deserves capitals) and a Moving on from all this in Ireland. Shame, I think I’ll charge for such a level of specific poster of a scary amount of mus- wonderfulness my next website probably need one after my care. A lot if other American hos- cle. Apparently, and I quote; had a slightly different target audi- PRIDE FC bout. pitals are anything to go by. “Antonio Inoki first possessed the ence. Pride Mobility “The first So, emboldened by my So, the result of an hour feverent dream of realizing an name in Mobility” nonetheless has two results I set upon Google one of tapping and amusement resulted Olympic Games of combative been operating since 1986, begin- last time. This time I hit upon the in what exactly? Well for starters I sports. The late Ikki Kajiwara ning its business in lift chairs Pride Insititute. This fantastic have some Christmas presents depicted that dream through his before expanding to include scoot- facility is designed specifically to sorted and I know where to go illustrated stories”. In other words ers. Their website has also been provide “addiction and mental when I break my neck on the the good harmless people at operational for a while and has health treatment to the gay, les- Front Square cobbles and can’t PRIDE FC have taken these features such as “Web Talk” and bian, bisexual and transgender walk without a scooter. Plus I “dreams” and created a sort of no the chance to meet the newest communities”. They have facilities know the name of the leading holds barred combative fighting member of the team; “Ed all over America, including at medical facilities for gays and les- society. Oh, and these ‘bouts’ take McMahon”. Ed apparently was for Chicago and New Jersey. Not bad. bians in America. Life is suddenly place in “the white stage of years part of “The Tonight Show I must admit that their figure of looking up! Diary of a BESS girl Our girl around the Arts Block tells us how it is... RANTING - ITS A WAY OF LIFE. I checked my dictionary before I must dutifully follow suit. got started on this column, and pride is like, the same as vanity, Vanity is also what gives us our few committed individuals, is now up for a weekly pay packet severe- Then of course, you drunken career, I will know that I ok? Which (I would like to take allowance. Without vanity, well, Ruth Hodgins an event. An event on the grande ly stunts your ability to spill out of rediscover that horrible thing you have overcome problems that even the opportunity to stress) is like we wouldn’t be Daddy’s Little scale. taxis. And have conversations found out at the age of 15 - alco- the founders of civilisation did not SO not any kind of sin, let alone a Blonde Designer-Clad Angels. Thus begins the brand Weeks are spent in whilst being sick. hol tastes like shit. have to face. deadly one. We’d be Daddy’s Unkempt preparation. Minute detail and I urge you, appreciate Years of commitment Tiscos* (evil incarnate) Tomboys, and as such, would new tradition of ranting thought is given to all the essen- having your exploits explained - had made you forget this horrific alcohol (never quite up there with Where would we be without vani- have way less bargaining power off on anything we feel tials - where, with whom, drink of and told - to you the following oversight. Now though, not only chocolate) and lectures at ridicu- ty? Vanity is what makes us look when it comes to extracting the like. Because we’re spe- choice, compatibility with next morning. Once you get paid its all do you find yourself unable to lous hours like 2pm are all obsta- hot, what makes us want to marry dinero from Daddy. Like, imagine days lectures etc. Although, it down hill. drink the damn stuff but, god have cles to be conquered. equally hot rugby-player types, having no false eyelashes to flut- cial and because we can. must be noted that the latter of Of course, the weekly mercy, unwilling. They are my Stalin, my what makes us get up at 6am to ter. I’d say that the average hand- these is rarely given serious con- pittance would seem to suggest the Thus you find yourself Bin Laden. Conquer them and my grapple with Frizz-Eaze and a out would decrease by like, I Ruth begins in style with sideration. Or consideration. ability to purchase more liquid. in the dignified position of telling honoured path of intoxication can GHD. Basically, vanity is what dunno, €50 a week? That’s five What tragic circum- But, problemo maestro: you are anyone who will listen (in all continue. makes us CARE. cocktails in Cocoon that I would an especially drunken stances combined to leave a too busy earning the bloody dosh probability your favourite child- You lucky bastards who have to go without. (Not that I rant about a certain respectable junior fresh with this to spend it. This is the result of hood teddy) just how unfair life is. don’t have to work, think of us Actually, I’m making a valid point actually buy my own drinks, it’s multi national corpora- dire life I hear you cry. Well, for a (quote un-quote) “your important I mean, is there really plebs. That is, if you ever have a here. I mean, vanity is what keeps just a comparison.) Either way, start, f*cking Tiscos*. position in the company”. The any justice in the world when passing sober moment. good old BTs above the break- SO not happening. tion that cannot be Never in the history of wanker wants you to pull an extra those of us who are desperate to even line. (Business reference, named. the earth has there been so evil a shift on Friday night. At 10pm. get drunk are hindered by our own * Name has been changed for con- nice!) Just think, if we were all And it’s a vicious circle-with less foe. God fought Satan, the West So, when you do finally taste buds. Traitors in the mist. fidentiality purposes. humble and stuff, would we really money, we would have to skimp Such is the depressing state of my fought Hitler, I deal with a major get a suitable (dear god, see the So, one night, and I’m care about what we looked like? on BT expenditure, meaning we life that a night’s efforts in getting brand supermarket on an almost level of madness. Using words the sure there will be a night, when it The MAC counter would have to would be missing out on vital drunk, or rather, reaching the level daily basis, martyr that I am. mothership would use) night, it’s does happen, and I end up reach- close down and I really dread to products, meaning we would be of intoxication achieved by only a For yes indeed, signing all go. ing a whole new level in my think of the future of Ralph even less hot. How would the Lauren. We would all be, like, sat- goys in Anabels differentiate isfied going round wearing badly- between us and like, the plebs? made replica polo shirts and cheap It’s our duty to make it obvious makeup from places like the who we are and what part of Northside. If we wore any makeup Dublin we inhabit. After all, we Pride comes before a fall literally! at all. all know guys after a few Kens do NOT think with their brains. They This brings me to my next point. might even end up scoring, like, a If there was no vanity, who would lost Northsider by mistake. Could Wuthering Depths (the events in this story took place when I was but a the ugly people look up to? They you deal with the guilt? Just imag- would have nothing to aspire to. ine how disappointed their parents We all know that models don’t would feel. schoolboy. Names have not been changed to protect identities.) look as hot in real life (consider Kate Moss at the last Trinity Ball) No, I feel that I speak for society take with me two friends: John and sea. Somehow I managed to inflate ball leapt out of such magnitude screams “put me down, put me but they create a nice ideal to when I say that vanity is an Paddy Rennison Will. How could it possibly go the boat, but I couldn’t find any that it burnt his eyebrows off, and down!” in cartoons and is then sav- aspire to. As a member of the absolutely essential part of our wrong? oars. Happily, two half full bottles had he not been wearing glasses agely dropped, so Will stopped. He royal elite of the Arts Block, it is lives. It makes us who we are- For years my parents had yearned This is a question I still of red wine filled the gap may well have done the same with hit the brake so hard we went off me and my associates’ duty to part of our identity, if you will. after a cottage by the sea. A little ask myself today. How? Three rea- admirably, with the added advan- his eyes. the lane, into a grass bank and fin- educate the bare-faced masses (or Without vanity, what would we place, preferably whitewashed and sonably intelligent boys, one foot- tage of providing onboard refresh- The flames lulled us to ished on top of a signpost. No Hamilton students, if you will) talk about? Actually, what would with a roaring fire of driftwood, ball match, one civilised day by the ment. What saved me from a cer- sleep and it was asleep that John’s more. about the wonders of a spot of we bitch about, because we where they could read books, play sea, or so one would think. Why tain watery grave was a) the shal- girlfriend, Lee, found us. Although I got out, and miracu- fake tan and a slick of mascara. I wouldn’t care that so-and-so’s board games and go on improving then did the evening end up in a lowness of the water and b) what I we had totally forgotten, John had lously, and perhaps naively, I don’t mean becoming an oompa- roots were showing and she was- nature walks. maelstrom of well-meant destruc- noticed happening in front of the agreed to another party that night, judged that there was no damage. loompa drag queen type, by the n’t wearing Dubes. It just doesn’t One day they found just tive behaviour and the subsequent cottage. My car was moving. And I and Lee had obligingly agreed to So I drove very slowly back to the way. They are SO over, or should bear thinking about. Vanity is not such a house. “The Cottage” as it eruption of my father? The catalyst, was not inside it. I was in the boat. come and pick him up. John was cottage and got into bed. It was all be. Bare-faced chic a la OC is in, a sin, it’s showing you care. came to be known was about as my friends, was booze. Too much Who in heaven could be in my car? duly bundled into the car and it was ok after all and we had, somehow, and we, dedicated fashionistas close to the sea as it was possible to booze. So I dragged the boat up the beach then that I made my fatal mistake. got away with an incident that (not sheep, as one jealous TSM go without actually being in it. It My parents had thrown a towards the cottage. Hitherto, all our antics had not could quite well have killed us. student suggested) that we are, was whitewashed, it did have a party themselves the previous Will, apparently, had threatened the lives of anyone but I awoke the next morning roaring fire (when you lit it) and week, and owing to the remoteness always wondered what it would be ourselves. When Will innocently to a nice day and breakfast. All was there was ample opportunity for of the location and hence the high like to be run over, so, obligingly, suggested being allowed to practise well, all was nice until I noticed improving nature walks. I am sorry percentage of designated drivers, John was running him over in my his driving just up to the end of the Dad coming up the drive, his face to say that I was not a great fan of the place was awash. Beer and car. Not very fast I might add, but lane, my alcohol-addled brain sug- the colour of a beetroot. The car prolonged stays at The Cottage. above all wine, was there in abun- he had fallen over and grazed his gested no possible objection. Will was not “ok”, the undersection of I mean, once I did both dance. The cupboards groaned hand on the gravel, so there was a had never driven before. He knew the bumper had been ripped off. We nature walks, noted the seagulls under the weight of all the grog. So murderous looking streak of blood what the clutch, accelerator and had not “got away with it”, the and oystercatchers and had my we drank it. We drank so much that down the bonnet of my mother’s brake were, in an abstract sense, whole talk of the cafes in the near- attention directed to a number of I still can’t remember the score of white Polo. That was Enough. but he had no knowledge of the rel- est towns was of the disgraceful blobs on a rock that I was assured the match that we had gone to see. Back in we went. ative pressure that must be applied behaviour of the previous night’s were seals, I was basically left with I also didn’t remember to eat any We were cold. Cold and to each. And so it was that we shot “joy-riders”. the reading and the board games, lunch, which can’t have helped, but drunk, one of the worst things to down the road, music blaring, in an Not good. Not good at and I could do those at home. There I was neither hungry nor capable of be. We decided to light a fire. We exact imitation of every grim all. In the end everything worked was one possible good point to the preparing anything beyond a bag of could have put on the heating, but Northern Irish anti-drink driving out-we had to pay for the damage, cottage though, and that was the crisps, and I had some issues with that would have been boring, and advert ever made. If I knew my but still, neither we, nor anyone possibility of throwing a damn fine that. not at all in fitting with the nihilis- hard hitting adverts, at any moment else was killed or injured by our party. My parents, understandably So far so good, but at tic, twisted Boy Scout flavour of a winsome child would innocently insanely irresponsible behaviour. wary of allowing an indeterminate some point after the match, I felt the day. So a fire it was. But could appear on the road, only to fall Still, it’s not something I’m partic- number of adolescents to run amok the call of the we get the bugger to light? Not at beneath the wheels of our careen- ularly proud of, but what can you in the fulfilment of their dreams, deep. I knew that somewhere about all, every match just flickered and ing death wagon. NO!!!! do? Put it down to experience I settled for a dry run. As the World the place was my younger brother’s went out. So we resorted to barbe- “Stop you stupid bastard!” I guess..... Cup was on at the time, I could go toy rubber dinghy, a vessel just cue fluid. Lots and lots of it. So screamed, “We’re coming to the down to watch England vs about more seaworthy than a lilo, much in fact, that when John set the end of the lane!” So he stopped. In Argentina and stay over. I would and I wanted it. I wanted to put to match to the sodden wood, a fire- much the same way as the hero 10 Tuesday November 1, 2005 Trinity News FEATURES Pride - the schizophrenic sin.

rich who are not content with the themselves from such valuable they are more experimental and that of the rest of us, for their life's Liz Johnson creature comforts of their lifestyle experiences. They find refuge in less inhibited under the satin gamble is not hedged in other inter- flaunt their wealth like a peacock the company of other rich-folk. sheets. Or so I’m told. ests or charms. While everyone flaunts its feathers. Such ostenta- Inevitably they then have to endure There is an evolutionary else begins to rely upon their witty Pride is a tangled sin. The word can tious displays are there for two rea- the pain of being less proud than explanation for all this. Beauty is repartee to draw in the interest and refer to a virtue, for example, a sons. The first is that, like the pea- the wealthier cronies of their ster- intimately linked to symmetry. affections of others, the ex-beauti- man can take pride in his work. cock, wealth is displayed to seduce ile, rich-folk company. Beautiful faces are actually quite ful find themselves with little Nothing wrong with that, but this a female (or lad, though I doubt Next then, there are those ordinary: when the features are except the few core hangers-on left article wants to deal with the more rich women are as prone to this who are proud of their looks. measured they are found to be from their former glory days. sinful side of things. motivation as men. Crudely speak- Usually lacking brains, the beauty- close to the human median. We It is said that pride is the There are other forms of ing, blokes are besotted by beauty, proud depend upon their looks for find them beautiful because the two root of all other deadly sins and one pride that count as real, juicy sin. women are wooed with wealth). their morale. And the harvest of halves of the face exhibit a higher can see why. Pride is seductive and From now on, when I talk about The second reason behind the beauty is wondrously fabulous symmetry. This is a sign of healthy whispers “You’re better than the pride, I refer to the word in the ostentatious show of opulence is to indeed. Beautiful people are habit- genes and upbringing. rest”. The key to remaining modest sense of vanity and self-conceit, excite the envy of the subordinate ually liked more than the ugly. However, the problem is to not take it for granted that you hauteur and hubris. Good, hearty masses. During first impressions they are here would be the ageing process. are better than the rest- you might sinful pride! As those with this partic- subconsciously rated as more intel- Even the most beautiful people be heading for a fall. The concept behind pride ular brand of pride cannot be seen ligent (ironically) and more trust- begin to sag and stretch and wither is the gratuitous gratification of the to mix with the more vulgar ele- worthy than their plain kin. And once they reach a certain age. The ego. For example, those uncounted ments of society, they imprison beautiful people have better sex; pain of the beauty-proud is thrice Pride - its surely nothing to be ashamed of???!!! better people if we managed to stage without being bombarded by strating their ability to walk in a quences a lack of pride can have. eliminate them from our lives. images of our peers staggering into straight line by using the pretty Very few people actually want to Anna Kavanagh They are distractions in our lives, oncoming traffic or battling to white one in the middle of the road. wake up on a Sunday afternoon and You too could own a sexy beast like this. leading us astray and into further increase their alcohol tolerance – Each of us has that slightly irritat- resort to spending the rest of the sin. By submitting to one, we enter and losing with colourful results. ing friend who, even after matching day burrowed in the duvet, piecing In this article Anna a downward spiral of continuing An entire industry of lazy journal- us shot for shot, manages to keep a together the previous night’s Kavanagh argues that and escalating debauchery. ism has been built up around this firm hold of his or her dignity and escapades in abject embarrassment. HOROSCOPES it’s time we all were It is for this reason that I ever-present story. Slow week in get not just themselves but every- But our lack of pride leads most of take issue with the inclusion of Iraq? Don’t worry - we’ve got one else home with all their us to this. Brought to you by your resident Trinity proud of our exploits, Pride as part of this spiral. It is not CCTV footage of Baggot Street belongings intact. When one calls for a psychics. both sober and not! the intention of this article to last Sunday morning. We should It’s tempting to believe restoration of pride, it’s hard not to undermine or ridicule what for get a good twenty minutes out of that these are some sort of magical sound like a conservative politician Of all the Deadly Sins, Pride must some is still a strong religious decrying the lack of pride these creatures or even freak genetic attempting to rally community spir- Scorpio: October 24 - November the end of the week. Please don’t be the one least deserving of its belief, but it should at least be teenagers are displaying. throwbacks with unnatural alcohol it or a particularly irritating pen- 22 do so on campus or in areas of connection with eternal damnation. pointed out that in some cases a Because surely that’s one of the tolerance. It is far more reasonable sioner, prefacing statements with, Today you receive advice from a security guard activity. If anything, in recent times it has reasonable level of pride can be of main problems: a massive lack of however to accept that, even when “In my day…”. very friendly pride of lions. Ignore become more of a virtue than sin. far more benefit than an overdevel- pride. Pride and shame go hand in under the influence of the full That said, these negative what they tell you to do to the Taurus: April 21 - May 21 We are regularly admonished for oped sense of humility or, worse, hand – abandon the former and you Aftershock rainbow, there are some associations should not prevent us kitchen cabinets but their com- Go to the zoo. See the lions. Take displaying a lack of national pride, an overabundance of a ‘devil-may- subject yourself to the latter. It is people who manage to maintain a from acknowledging the need for a ments on Neolithic cave paintings some pride in your heritage. This is having no pride in our work, taking care’ attitude. the lack of pride you showed which sense of pride, who don’t want to revival of this particular deadly sin. in the Alsace region have valid the week when all that sort of stuff no pride in our appearance. Pride Consider any given led to you dancing on the counter let themselves down and manage to It would certainly be better for us points. The youngest cub is called might actually pay off. Then again has moved from being the mark of Saturday night in this fair city of in XXI and the excruciating shame behave more like an adult than to indulge a little than abandon Bob. He is not a builder despite the we could just be lying and doing a sinful person, lacking in humility, ours. As the average student is sick you’re now experiencing is a direct recently liberated Junior Cert stu- pride totally in an all-out display of yellow hard hat. our bit for Dublin tourism. Whose to that of an upstanding, well-bal- of hearing, by one am the streets of result. dent. fecklessness. If nothing else, bar- to know? That’s the great thing anced person, aware of their Dublin are strewn with the drunken Obviously alcohol is the Obviously an excess of pride can men the world over would thank Sagittarius: November 23 - about horoscopes. Welcome to our achievements. dregs of that ubiquitous animal – major factor, but all of us have that lead to all sorts of problems, but us! December 21 world. It sparkles. How often do we use the the youth of today. one friend who, no matter how this is true of almost anything. It is Warning. Warning. You are about phrase ‘to be rightly proud’ of One cannot flick through much they imbibe, manages to possible to have too much Vitamin to be approached by a member of a Gemini: May 22 - June 21 something? The basic tenet of the either a national paper or home- resist the temptation of performing C! What we often neglect to secret sect of APOLS (anti pride of A pride of lions is for life, not just Deadly Sins is that we would be grown news programme at this a striptease for the DJ or demon- acknowledge is the severe conse- lions society). This is not a CSC Halloween. Don’t make us call the registered body and its members ISPCA on you. Also, dressing up as are highly stoned. In fact, sources a zebra is definitely not a good Finding Jesus on Campus tell us that they do not even have move in light of your Halloween shoes. You can spot them because purchase. Blood on the carpet will they all wear leopard print leotards. not go down well with your moth- driven and pleasure seeking. I rec- Stay away from their favourite area er. Or your great aunt twice Darren ommended that he go and overdose of habitation - the middle of the removed and three times banned on Kierkagaard. This, I assure you middle floor of the middle building from driving. Fitzpatrick was a welcome change to the of campus. “well, I believe in something” Cancer: June 22 - July 23 If you ever wish to experience brigade. Capricorn: December 22 - For some time now you’ve been simultaneous amusement and Thus far, you may get the January 20 thinking of a mail order partner. embarrassment, try, as a mere impression that I am horribly Stay away from the buttery on Don’t do it. Internet abuse is not fresher, approaching random biased. Granted, my search for Thursdays and Tuesday afternoons. good for any of us or the tulips. We strangers on campus and enquiring interviewees was mostly confined The king of the Jungle is in heat happen to know from secret as to their relationship with God. I to the Hamilton. If one is in pursuit and may try to impregnate you. sources (the people at Lemon) that have had to deal with the ‘wha’ are of the on campus cult of Richard That is unless you want mutant lion a pride of lions have recently you on’ looks, retort accusations of Dawkins, the Hamilton is probably babies that will eat you up. Take offered their services. For all of my being a theology student a good place to start. However, pride in your humanness. It will you who just got extra excited, go (which in the science block, is based on my enquiries, it is obvi- get you through the wilderness. back to the halls of the BESS seemingly a sin against human ous to me that people are generally Some how you’ll make it through. department you weirdoes. intelligence) and no, I am not not willing to talk openly with a Like a virgin. That is if you stay recruiting for the Dublin Church of complete stranger about an issue away from the buttery at the above Leo: July 24 - August 23 Christ. that is very personal. When speak- times. Hurrah! This is the week of your For the most part, stu- ing with Paddy Gleeson and star sign - the pride is strong in you dents were ‘tersely’ forthcoming. Katherine Meyer, two of our chap- Aquarius: January 21 - little lioning peoples. Run around Answers such as “I don’t know”, lains, it became clear that the liber- February 19 and do at least six ‘Sound of “never really think about it” and ation of religious practice from Bertie Ahern decides that the best Music’ tribute moments throughout absolutely no relevance” were social etiquette has resulted in a way to rejuvenate the Dail is with a the course of the week or else the common. When quizzed as to his more sincere practising congrega- pride of lions especially flown in lions will cry. Its true. They have source of morality, one student tion. Religious practice is no from Luxemburg. He asks you to feelings and are not afraid to show promptly answered with “it’s in me longer a case of keeping up with Whats Hot Whats Not design the publicity brochures for them. They also have claws. Nuff head”. Also known as ethical indi- the Jones’. For that, we now have the move - word of advice: keep said. vidualism (or as some mutated the Brown Thomas loyalty card. your knickers on. The Luxemburg descendant of ethical individual- My interview was stalled 1) Pav Monday - shaping up to be 1) Buttery Monday lions are randy little beasts. So is Virgo: August 24 - September 23 ism), the “in me head” approach to mid-way on the arrival of the new Bertie. Guess which one is more ROAR! Ha, that got your attention morality seems to be en vogue on Presbyterian kettle. The chaplaincy just as good as the quintessential 2) Any other type of Gloop scary. you little fecker. Lions are good, campus. The above I refer to as the provides free tea and coffee in Pav Friday 3) Bavaria wanabee brands - the lions have pride, lions look pretty ‘complacents’. house 27. After the excitement had 2) Chocolate Gloop blue stuff is untouchable Pisces: February 20 - March 20 in pink polka dots. Climb a tree, And now on to the ebbed, I had a head on collision A pride of lions is a magical body. sing to the stars, get yourself nihilists. Here my questions were with hypocrisy, whilst playing 3) New sexy cider in Pav 4) Old Lemon - mouldy and It likes parsnips on Tuesday after- arrested for being a public nui- quickly dismissed with a vacuous devil’s advocate. When quizzed 4) The new Lemon cramped. Too far to be doable. noons and tea at the Four Seasons sance. Johnny Logan will thank spouting of aphorisms. In an about her views on hedonism and 5) XXI - Ross O’Carroll Kelly digs 5) Spirit - who wants a map to on Wednesday morning at 7.43am. you in the end. Make sure you attempt to cut short my enquiries student life, Katherine Meyer did It also likes to watch Trisha reruns make some form of carbon based one student disclosed to me that not deliver an impromptu speech it. Therefore so do we. find the toilet? and Paisean Faisean. This has contact with at least three alpha “God is dead”. What a revelation! on the evils of the ENTS commit- absolutely no relevance to your females/males, depending on your Indeed, I was left marvelling at his tee but rather avidly denounced the coming week but we thought you’d persuasion. Lions are a universal lack of originality and asked as to “scapegoating of students for a Now introducing: Break Up Tips. Tried and tested by only the most like the information. That’s for free experience. whether or not he also thought that problem that is professional. Every paper should have them. Substitute he for she or vica societal”. and nothing in this life is free. “religion was the opium of the peo- versa depending on the state of things in your twisted little lives. Except useless information. Oh Libra: September 24 - October ple”. I think he was offended but And then there was the joy. 23 my arrogance does not easily per- BESS girl. She “just like so loves We’ve run out of things to say mit dismissal. Chanel”. Maybe I should have 1 - Tell him you just want to be friends. Then offer to set him up with one of qualified God with an adjective. Aries: March 21 - April 20 except that Wonder Woman should Fortunately, I came upon your friends, mentioning she hasn’t been in a relationship for a while. He’ll Somebody once told me to wish be your role model for the week. a post graduate student who can- (This didn’t actually happen. Due upon a star. At the end there was Also, make sure you watch Lion didly told me of his difficulty with to late night shopping on hear (a) you see him as a sexless hang out buddy, (b) who is not capable some lions. They had pride. Then I King and sing along at strategic the chasm between acknowledging Thursdays, no BESS girls were to of getting his own dates and (c) is only fit for desperate women. caught a rainbow to the end of the points. Take pride in your personal the existence of a deity and making be found on campus projection point of a light green appearance - not everyone can a leap of faith. His difficulties are at time of interviewing). coloured felt tip. Finally I landed in carry off lime green velvet. Simba also my own. To make a leap of Now, for those of you who, having 2 - Make him cry: sleep with his best friend or brother. Remember that the a big pile of Penneys vest tops. can - don’t hold it against him. faith brings with it some hefty read this article, wish to research a best way to achieve a “clean break” is to make it as harsh as possible, so moral critique of myself, let it be This story is exactly how you will He’s only little. And an imaginary demands, demands that are not the parties involved don’t ever get to see each other again, partly due to feel at the end of a particularly vig- cartoon character. always easy to meet in a culture known first hand, that I practise orous nail filing session towards that is predominantly consumer debauchery in moderation. sheer embarrassment, partly due to the restraining order. 10 Tuesday November 1, 2005 Cinema Editors: Rebecca Jackson & Alex Christie-Miller Trinity News FILM The Real Moneypenny Diaries Thrilled at the prospect of the Ooo the excitement! For the last used to be in the good old days muttered something about flexibili- bottle of vermouth and made him- recently released ‘Moneypenny month no-one at the agency has when he first arrived at M16 and ty being the key to a more reward- self a martini. Putting aside my Diaries’ the Bond aficionados that been able to talk about anything but had a Scottish accent... funny that... ing position – bloody men! worries about James’ possible make up the Trinity News film James’s expected return. It’s all ‘Was it awfully cold in Iceland’ I As if only last year James wasn’t drink problem- he does seem to get team were sorely disappointed to been kept so hush-hush though that gasped. ‘Not as cold as an autumn’s through the booze at an alarming discover last summer that the I hadn’t dared raise my hopes until day by the Mersey’ He replied, “I was lost in those arctic rate –a drink every 25.7 minutes promised ‘for her eyes only’ closet I saw that familiar hunky frame winking at me. The Mersey I blue eyes, his hair had been according to one ex-girlfriend. I records from M16 were in fact a stride through the door. If only I’d thought? But that’s in Liverpool. saw that this admission was clearly cunning hoax. Fortuitously our stuck to that diet! Though James How strange, I was sure James had bleached by the sun and his a cue for me to flutter my eyelash- contacts at British Intelligence always says he prefers a bit of meat said his family was from voice seemed to have got es and ask him out for celebratory managed to acquire a certain bat- on me; I expect those stick-insect Navan…Well no matter he’s such a rougher, sexier...” cocktails. ‘There’s no need to wait tered pink Smythson notebook supermodels he hangs around with cunning linguist one can never be until after work Moneypenny’ said from which we have been given on assignment must get a bit boring sure where he’s come from. encouraging me to put my ankles he and whipped out a bottle of exclusive leave to publish after a while and I’ll bet none of ‘Lots has changed around here around my ears. I am so pleased Bollinger from his briefcase. Good extracts... them can rustle up an apple pie like since you left’ I stammered ‘Even he’s back though, last time he was old James, he seems to be dressing mine… So there I was filing my the website (www.mi6.gov.uk). gone for such a long time was back rather better than when I last saw Friday 14th October nails and typing up some letters for Apparently we’re trying to attract a in 1989 when he was away for six him too,instead of Brioni suits he’s 9st 8; Alcohol units 12ish (surely M when suddenly he was there, new kind of recruit; we want peo- years! He told me that he was gro- working a rather foxy black leather vodka martinis can not have leaning over my desk ple who are adaptable, resourceful cery shopping (James Bond, the jacket. I like it. I told James how more than a unit each in ‘Moneypenny’ he said. ‘I’ve and flexible’. modern man, who’d have thought much I approved of his recent sar- them);Cigarettes 6 ( cadged off Q missed you.’ I was lost in those arc- ‘Oh Moneypenny’ he it?!) when he got the call summon- torial changes and he grinned. ‘To – drunken nicotine craving); tic blue eyes, his hair had been smirked ‘Have you been flexing at ing him back into the office. He the new me!’ He toasted. We calories 1,954 (Yey for calorie- wonderfully bleached by the sun the yoga again? You must know I dropped what he was carrying, clinked glasses and with a quick free champagne!); No. of men I and his voice seemed to have got think you a girl of infinite went straight to the alcohol aisle, glance at his Rolex he was off. Oh fancy at the office 1. Oh James…. rougher, sexier, a bit like how it resources.’ I blushed crimson and bought himself a bottle of vodka, a James….

manly. Screaming like a girl endorphins has under- Becky Jackson will show your lady friend gone more serious that you are not the macho research involving man she subconsciously the victims of Never judge a man by his The golden ticket to a superior wants to be with. As a girl post trau- horror movie is I’m sorry to say, forget all matic involving the audi- that talk about female stress video collection... ence. Somehow the empowerment, and cringe disorder. viewers have to be pathetically into his manly As part of this ranging collection also maximises expensive city. “Not really, I’m rather tired.” - manipulated into chest, this being the best way investigation James von Simson the chances of a friend wanting to But your video collec- (uninterested) empathising with the to appeal to your boy’s Vietnam veterans borrow one. Which means they tion doesn’t just distract, placate or “Oh. Well do you wanna come latent instincts as a pro- with PTSD were shown Video collections have no parallel. owe you. And favours are a valu- accrue favours; over to watch a movie?” blonde heroine of able currency in an ever more “Do you want to go for a drink?” “Hmmmmm.” - (still not interest- tector. combat scenes from the Figuratively, historically or literal- dubiously high IQ as ly. Your music collection can be ed) she legs it from the How can a movie Platoon. During the The psychology of Horror Movies shit and it doesn’t matter. It’s iron- “I’ve just got the DVD of Empire killer. During an art- low budget film they experienced a tempo- ic. Christ anyone who enjoys a Records…” house movie or any slasher rary, reversible numbing sensa- dance at The Palace or in Doyles “Omigod I love that movie. ” film with vaguely movie tion, similar to the effect of can’t claim a discerning taste. But Suddenly she’s back at cerebral pretensions ignite opium. This research would a video collection actually reflects yours, snuggling on the sofa, a the cinema audience this kind indicate that the psychological who you are. couple of glasses of wine and then will be mostly quiet: internally of primal affects of horror movies are And yet you can’t judge boom. Easy as taking candy from a response? more deep rooted than the a man by his video collection baby. wrestling with meanings and A video collection is a Horror movies are unless you understand his inten- subplots. The dark air of a hor- tions. Any man who owns a Sex sophisticated social tool that fools, fear served up in a ror film by contrast, will be ‘It seems churlish to dis- And The City box is likely to be deceives, hoodwinks and dupes. It rent with gasps and sanitised form, allowing pute the therapeutic pow- labelled gay and yet they might is not something that can be taken screaming. While this the viewer to tackle disturb- ers of watching Paris just want a bit of fucking peace at face value or even understood ing issues from a secure dis- whenever their girlfriend is over. by the closest of friends. After all, sort of anonymous Hilton being dismem- audience partic- tance. Bessel Van Der Kolk Equally WWF videos. Does own- you don’t know if Spice World ipation may M.D, the clinical director of the bered on screen...’ ing a video of spandex-clad men The Movie is actually in there for sound HRI Trauma Centre and profes- hugging each other make you a bit your benefit. Never judge a man sor of psychiatry at Boston childhood nightmares that tend juvenile, homosexual, someone by his video collection. Unless you some- see a copy of Shawshank University postulates that to follow that illicit first view- that pulls the legs off insects or is what liber- it just a great piece of theatre Redemption. It’s an overrated frightening films rev up the ing of Halloween. However ating, I would sport? Can you really make that piece of cack and the owner is an Halloweennot recommend body’s Special: sympathetic nervous even with the knowledge that judgement call? emotionally stunted fool. getting involved with a hot date system, resulting in the release horror films may be used as a Ever dated someone a Judge us on our other without careful consideration; of opiate endorphins and a form form of cinematic opium it few years younger with a com- activities; on Sunday morning I James Weaver of Virginia of ‘stress-induced analgesia’ – a seems somewhat unlikely that pletely different set of friends to noticed my laptop whirring away Tech's Laboratory for the Study state of painlessness brought on they will replace the romantic you? And find you’ve nothing in and I realised having returned of Human Thought and Action by stress. Seeking out this comedy as the popular genre common? Nothing to say to one from a family wedding I must have fright-induced high one usually for zoning out to. On the other another? Popping a video in con- downloaded something. But what? took the trouble of investigating I couldn’t even remember getting finds the typical horror audi- hand it seems churlish to dis- stitutes quality time spent together. the social implications of horror I have videos simply in case cer- home. The Jungle Book, Jenna ence of late adolescent males. pute the therapeutic powers of movies and the results are well tain people come over. I have Jameson & Aladdin according to worth registering. As the male However hormonal watching Paris Hilton being videos that have never been the search topics. Therapy beck- half of a couple it is imperative thrill seekers aside, the film- dismembered on screen. ons. watched, yet I know one day I’ll WWF: Straight as you like... to keep calm, masterful and related release of these opiate rely on them to save me. A wide- A ‘dog’-umentary in Nomads’ land Alex Christie-Miller gaining a place at the Munich so as to create a sense of narrative nomadic families, I was struck by me how their way of life was the with Western culture- they seem ment.” Academy for Television and Film. more akin to film. The result is a how faithfully representative best, and how life in a yurt is in to appropriate it to their own way It remains to be seen In 2003, a Mongolian film student ‘Weeping Camel’ was essentially work which captures the slow Davaa’s films are of Mongolian fact the only way to live. of life, rather than be assimilated whether or not ‘The Cave of the studying in Munich by the name a student movie, funded with rhythms of nomadic life whilst life. The people she follows are in In ‘Yellow Dog’ the by it. Yellow Dog’ will repeat the phe- of Byambasuren Davaa caused a German money, that went on to avoiding the sense of tedium that no way exceptional: almost every- family at one point replace an old Davaa alludes to this in nomenal success of Davaa’s earli- sensation with her documentary achieve distribution in over eighty one might get from watching one you encounter in the country- broken metal spoon with a cheap- a recent interview with the er film, however it certainly repre- ‘The Story of The Weeping countries, an audience of millions camels and boiling milk for an side lives in exactly the same way; er plastic one bought in the local German Spiegel magazine: sents a development in the work Camel’. Now Davaa is back with worldwide, and even an Oscar hour and a half. and the sense of the tender, har- town, only to have it melt when “Progress in itself isn’t such a bad of a highly talented film-maker, her second movie ‘The Cave of nomination. ‘Yellow Dog’ is in Part of the success of monious relationships within fam- they do not appreciate the inferior thing… In ‘The Story of the and deserves attention as one of the Yellow Dog’, again a study of fact part of her graduate thesis. ‘Weeping Camel’ must be ilies also tallied perfectly with my properties of plastic. The daughter Weeping Camel,’ we filmed the first self-representations of the Mongolian nomadic way of Both her films seek to explained by the frankly miracu- own experience. then fashions it into a drinking nomads watching television. this struggling Third World coun- life. Having made a huge impact evoke a sense of the Mongolian lous nature of the true story it Another way in which bowl for her dog. This episode Whenever we screen the film in try on the international stage. in Germany, it has already taken “...whilst the people tells, in which a Mongolian fami- the film is frequently miscon- was curiously representative of Mongolia, viewers are always vic- the top prize at the Hamptons ly hire a violin player to perform a strued in the West is over its atti- the interaction of Mongolians ariously pleased with this achieve- Film Festival in the US, and was and relationships in ritual on a camel that has rejected tude to the adoption of Western screened last week at the London the film are gen- its colt. It is here that ‘Yellow technology by the nomads, seen as Film Festival, and looks set to Dog’ represents an interesting depicting consumerism’s erosion receive a wide distribution in uine, the central departure. For whilst the people of a traditional lifestyle. Indeed, other countries around the world. story is fictional, and relationships in the film are on my visit it was not at all unusu- It’s the tale of a young again genuine, the central story is al to arrive at a remote yurt tent girl who comes into conflict with blurring the line in fact fictional, blurring the line complete with solar panels, satel- her parents when she finds an between narrative further between narrative film and lite dish, TV, and DVD player, and abandoned puppy in a cave and documentary. Also, whereas the insists on keeping it. As in film and documen- emphasis of ‘Weeping Camel’was ‘The story is told in ‘Weeping Camel’ the story is told tary.” on the bond between man and ani- in such a way as almost to seem mal, ‘Yellow Dog’ focuses in on such a way as to incidental, and it is in fact the nomadic lifestyle: their close bond the family relationships within the extraordinary lifestyle of the with the land and animals on ‘yurt’, and this is perhaps why a almost seem inciden- Mongolian nomads- one of peace- which they survive, their deeply fictional story serves it better. tal, and it is in fact ful, uneventful subsistence- which rooted traditions and beliefs, the However this blend of is the film’s true subject. tenderness of relationships forged fact and fiction in ‘Weeping the extraordinary The thirty-three year old through hardship, and the snail- Camel’ attracted some criticism- lifestyle of the Davaa’s sudden rise to promi- slow pace of life in this remote and her new film is almost sure to nence through her first film region of the world, as well as the as well- over the degree to which nomads which is the brought her from almost total growing encroachment of Western the lifestyle portrayed is edited obscurity. After a stint from 1989 technology into their way of liv- and idealised to cater for a film’s true subject...’ to 1993 in the Mongolian televi- ing. Davaa expresses this Western audience that wants to sion industry (that cradle of through a curious form of semi- see picturesque nomads with cute yet there was little sense of the genius), she studied law and film documentary, in which the charac- children and animals. After spend- thirst for Western culture one in Ulaanbaatar, Mongolia’s capi- ters, settings, and lifestyle are real, ing two months in Mongolia might expect. Everywhere I went tal, for a further five years before with certain parts being scripted myself, and visiting several nomads were keen to impress on A still from ‘The Cave of the Yellow Dog’ which documents Mongolian nomadic life 12 Music Editor:Steve Clarke Tuesday November 1st, 2005 Trinity News MUSIC The Cult of Frank (and Walters) The Frank and Walters’ Paul Linehan on songwriting, their new album and er, giraffes. reason for that being because in ed to release that now? Steve Clarke Ireland today there’s a lot of PL: It definitely influenced us, TN: What do you think you’d be depressed people, there’s a lot of y’know what I mean. Living over PL: The main reason was because doing if you weren’t in the Frank You’ll have to excuse my igno- sadness as well. I know there’s the there, listening to the music they over the years fans have been com- and Walters? rance. This time a fortnight ago I Celtic Tiger, but on the other side listen to, the experience of living in ing up to us after gigs saying knew practically nothing about the of the scale there’s a lot of depres- New York- it does open your eyes a “Where can I get that song?” and a PL: That’s a very hard question. I Frank and Walters. Nada. They had sion and suicide in the country as bit. It definitely did have a bit of an lot of the songs we’d play in our think I’ve been blessed for the last just passed me by. The Cork band’s well. And it’s because, especially impression on us. set, you couldn’t get them, so we 15 years to be in the Frank and debut album, “Trains, Boats and amongst the younger people, decided to release this album. That Walters. It’s a very hard question. I Planes” included some of their think I’d probably be dead if I was- highest charting songs; “Fashion n’t in the Frank and Walters. I Crisis Hits New York”, “This is not “I’ve been blessed for the last 15 years [ to be in the band]. . I would have found it very hard to a Song” and “After All”, but that live and work in a normal 9-5 was back in 1992 and I was proba- think I’d probably be dead if I wasn’t in the Frank and Walters...” job… bly listening to East 17 or 2Unlimited at the time (I was {At this point my dictaphone died, seven, give me a break). there’s too much expectation put TN: Originally you were being was one of the reasons- there were cutting Paul’s answer short. I man- Subsequent albums, while critical- upon them to succeed and when supported by bands like Radiohead other reasons as well. aged to revive it though…} ly acclaimed, never quite broke they don’t measure up- when they and PJ Harvey, who have since through to the mainstream. don’t achieve these things- they become massively successful. Why TN: I’d imagine also as a stop-gap TN: And we’re back! There was a Thus it came to be that have a small opinion of them- do you think that level escaped before the new album next year. lot of hype about you in the begin- their gig in Whelans last week was selves. And I think this is the main you? One of your early hits was ning in the media and the trendy a revelation. I could tell I was get- reason why there’s such a high sui- “Fashion Crisis Hits New York.” papers like the NME. Do you feel (Not) Too Cool For ting into cult territory by the grow- cide rate in Ireland, y’know? So at PL: The music business is a funny Do you feel you have suffered for you still have something to prove ing queue at the door- normally the the time I thought I’m going to try thing- a lot of it’s down to luck- your fashion statements? [The band or are you past that at this stage? uber-trendy Whelans crowd prefer and do something positive, and being at the right place at the right had been known to wear oversized to be fashionably late. This was a maybe spread a bit of happiness time, with the right music. If any of purple and orange uniforms.] PL: The main thing that we like to School: David Kitt whole other kettle of fish. All and a bit of optimism. While I can those things don’t work, you’re prove is ourselves. I still have an detached hipness was left at the like. out. Our “Glass” album- the last PL: Probably- we never really ambition to write brilliant pop door, and was instead replaced with album we released- was 20 years wanted to be cool y’know. The way songs. The main reason I do music In the Ed Burke dancing, moshing, and sing-a- TN: Is it hard to write happy songs too late and 4 years too early. Are we dressed…but that was back in is because I like to express myself longs. I was impressed. It was the in the context of global terrorism, you familiar with it? ’93 - we did dress a bit funny back and it’s a great medium to do that, and I do love it. I love playing- I and bodies swaying all night. love writing and recording it more Nicholas Hamilton After a few songs than playing live. My ambition is to however, the limited range of create a brilliant album. Once I’m Murmurs about the suitability of Kitt’s voice began to border on happy with it, once I’ve expressed lecture theatres as venues for monotonous. Despite attempts to myself I don’t really care what any- gigs, long aired by more muso add a bit of variety by introduc- one else thinks. If people like it, sections of the student body, are ing some beats and upgrading to well then good. If they finally being acted upon by the an electric guitar, the homogeniz- don’t…y’know? Students’ Union, with this term’s ing effect of the ‘Kitt sound’ series of ‘Gigs and Giggles.’ And became most felt during covers TN: It’s the only way to be. So, if who better than everybody’s of Thin Lizzy and J.J. Cale. For you could be any animal in the jun- favourite B.E.S.S. graduate and this reason it was a relief when gle, or perhaps the savannah, which Trinity Ball stalwart, David Kitt he started to call on the services animal would you be, and why? to inaugurate the Ed Burke’s new of his two-strong backing band, role as a music venue? and the gig really moved up a PL: Um, I suppose a giraffe. It’s Although the shape and gear. like my favorite animal, the giraffe. structure of a lecture hall may I dunno why cus they kinda look suggest themselves as suitable for ‘Kitt seemed like a stupid, but they’ve got a good view live music, it became apparent on they’re up so high. slightly odd choice for entry that the atmosphere and associations which the Ed Burke promoting the message TN: You’re pretty tall yourself. holds for many students could be of moderate drinking...’ hard to shake off; the audience PL: They say that whatever animal had to resist the impulse to pull If from the start you pick reflects yourself. I’m not tabletops across and soon realised David Kitt seemed like a slightly that tall, not these days. In my day that, unlike at most lectures, the odd choice for promoting the I was tall, but young people these back row was not the most desir- evening’s message of moderate days are reaching up to 6 foot 4. able position. Kitt too, noting that drinking, given the complaints in he himself had spent many a bor- the sleeve notes of his last album TN: Why do you think that is? ing hour dozing off in the very about the lack of decent grass room, seemed aware of the available during recording, it PL: Better diet, I suppose. strangeness of the circumstances. became clear that the evening’s As it turned out however, it was message was being completely TN: Aha. If Hollywood were to this familiarity with Trinity of his flouted when Mark Quinn (who make a movie about your life, who that helped to overcome any feel- played the trumpet and was would you like to see play the lead ings of awkwardness. responsible for a bit of percus- roles? Four years of studying sion, but mostly just danced) B.E.S.S. has left more of a mark emerged on stage with a can of PL: Jeepers, that’s a hard one. Um, on the singer-songwriter than Heineken in hand. The only mys- The Frank and Walters - Best thing to come out of Cork since, um, er, .... can they be dead? might have been imagined (if tery is how he managed to smug- feel-good gig of the year. Prior to only on his wardrobe). After a gle the intoxicating beverage into war, natural disasters and a possi- then. Maybe we dress just as funny TN: It’s a purely hypothetical the concert I spoke to singer and few jibes at his old classmates the Ed Burke, given the strict bag ble bird flu pandemic? TN: Um, I’ve heard some of it… now but we don’t realize it- question. bassist Paul Linehan, possibly the (especially the much maligned searches at the door. y’know, we think we look ok… most charming man in Irish indie ‘B.E.S.S. girl’), Kitt wryly noted Any questions about the PL: It’s something within my own PL: What’s the band now, I can’t PL: I’ll be Jimmy Stewart. music. He came across as very seri- that he was showing his true possibility of creating an atmos- spirit - the way I seem to write remember their name. The Killers. TN: Totally respectable I think. So, ous, very sincere. For fun at home, colours tonight when he realised phere in the austere environment songs is that I identify a problem There’s a song called Underground what do you believe in? TN: Good choice. So what does the get a friend, and read out my ques- that he was wearing a pink shirt of the Ed Burke were laid to rest future hold for the Frank and tions in a Northern accent, and (though it was second hand of as Kitt, breaking with his singer- Walters? Paul’s responses in a Cork one. It’ll course, he assured us). Kitt’s songwriter image, unveiled some be just like you were there! affability (and knowledge of col- new, far more rocking tunes. “We never really wanted to be cool y’know. The way we dressed back in PL: Obviously I don’t know. I lege stereotypes) soon ensured Matching the change in tempo, could be dead in five minutes. Trinity News: In your website bio, ’93-we did dress a bit funny back then. Maybe we dress just as funny that everybody settled in to enjoy Quinn (like Bez with Sideshow We’re just optimistic about playing it states “The Frank and Walters themselves. Bob’s hair) bounced around with now but we don’t realize it...” our music. We don’t have that began in Cork, it was the early 90's Switching from so much energy that he seemed many expectations. We’re happy and their mission was to spread raconteur to troubadour, Kitt to call for a stage all of his own. to just plod away with our music. cheer and optimism throughout the kicked off with some new materi- There was no shortage of crowd We don’t have expectations as world via their music.” Do you al, playing acoustic guitar solo. participation either, as Kitt tried that I have with something in the which is very similar to the Killers; regards commercial success, but think this has become increasingly Such a stripped-backed approach to encourage a re-enactment of verse, I deal with it in the bridge we wrote that four years ago. A lot PL: What? we would, as I said earlier, like to important with the rise of “death” seemed wholly appropriate, given the video for ‘Smells Like Teen and I have the solution by the time of music coming out now seems to make a good album and hopefully metal, “gansta” rap, and Coldplay? the enduring association between Spirit’ and the audience (spurred I get to the chorus. That’s just my be in that vein- electro-guitar. It’s TN: I mean do you maybe believe we can cheer people up. I’d be very students and acoustic guitars that on, no doubt, by the mention of nature. timing. The Velvet Underground, in fate, that you were meant to be in happy if someone said to me that Paul Linehan: Well to be honest goes back to the models of Bob the crowd in U.C.D. the night when they started out they never this band? we’d cheered him up with our with you, a few years ago I nearly Dylan and Leonard Cohen in the before) duly obliged. For the rest TN: Ok. For your third album had any commercial success at all- music. gave up music. It was kinda close Sixties and Seventies. Though of the night Kitt darted about “Beauty Becomes More Than it was like 20 years later when they PL: Yeah. Well I believe in God. cos we had just got dropped from not reaching the poetic heights of from album to album, playing a Life”, you had moved to New York, actually started getting credit for That’s what I believe in. And I Souvenirs is out now on Fifa our record company… At that time either of these two greats, the selection of songs from his back and it marked a change in musical what they were actually doing. So believe in Jesus like- that is my Records. when I decided to get back into it attraction of Kitts’ songs is unde- catalogue, returning to his first direction for you. A lot of artists it’s frustrating. higher power. And whatever plans again, I said that if I’m gonna write niable, filled as they are with album to finish with the suitably seem to go to New York to find or that he has for me, I’ll just go along music, I’m gonna try and write pos- smart observations about love mellow ‘Headphones.’ reinvent themselves- Bob Dylan, TN: You have a new album of rar- with them. My whole existence I itive things, y’know be positive and life, and with enough catchy Bright Eyes, Ryan Adams for ities and remixes out now – believe is in his hands. That’s what and write songs that will hopefully pop hooks to keep heads bopping have a positive message. The main example. Did you find that at all? “Souvenirs”. Why have you decid- I believe in. choirs, church organs, horns, and has emptied itself of all signifi- cling of the riff from the title track if you're a dedicated admirer of Neil Young: The album starts off even a string section are used on a cance. on "This Old Guitar," certainly the song-writer's trademark touch- strongly; though the substance is rotating basis. To counterpoint all this will (the melody of "World on a es, you'll certainly be pleased to somewhat familiar, the effective Tracks such as "Far from perhaps, there's plenty of dirty String" is also rehashed earlier on know he's still capable of produc- Prairie Wind simplicity of tracks such as "The Home," "It's a Dream," "Prairie acoustic riffage to keep things in the album). ing something of note. Although Cian Traynor Painter" are what Neil Young does Wind," and "He Was the King" (a flowing nicely. The return of gui- Ultimately, a sepia-toned this may indeed be his best album best. "No Wonder," a meditation light hearted tribute to Elvis) are tarist (and co-producer) Ben Keith album filled with nostalgia and the it years, it serves as more of a on the climate around 9/11, can be loaded with this kind of pomp, and to the fold means there are some recurring image of prairie wind redeeming move rather than a lat- For all his former glories, Neil praised for the same qualities, but strangely enough, it's difficult to striking similarities to "Harvest (you will swear you've heard him ter-day magnum opus. Young nearly lost me with also marks the introduction of one tell whether these songs would Moon" - arguably Young's last sing lines such as "Bury me out on "Greendale." I remember sitting in of “Prairie Wind's” most notable float or sink without them. The release of genuine class. If the eld- the prairie/ Where the buffalo used Prairie Wind is out now on the front rows of Vicar St. when he the talk of "Prairie Wind" being a features. This is where we're given female backing in the title track in erly, autumnal romantics of to roam" before) will come as Reprise Records. was debuting the material, looking return to his "Harvest" days may be the first taste of the layering of particular sounds quite soulless, "Falling Off the Face of the Earth" absolutely no surprise to those over my shoulders in disbelief, jumping the gun somewhat, it cer- elements that are wrapped around and by the song's end (an unneces- and "Here for You" don't underline with any previous knowledge of wondering if anyone else felt that tainly is a stabilising return to form. the songs from here on out: gospel sary seven and a half minutes) it the comparison for you, the recy- Neil Young. The good news is that we were being put on. So while all Music Editor:Steve Clarke Tuesday November 1st, 2005 13 Trinity News MUSIC Coming Back For Moore Trinity News’ Cian Traynor talks to Christy Moore about his new album, Burning Times

There’s no point in covering a song years.” end to the world’s all-consuming unless you’re going to bring some- Having such an inclina- concrete sprawl with an apocalyp- thing to it, to make it your own in tion towards the heart of a well- tic vision where only insects some way and bring out an element written song, crossing paths with remain. The rather serene contem- that may not have been there the penmanship of Bob Dylan may plation bookends matters nicely by before. Anything else is little more have always seemed inevitable. answering the almost despondent than self-indulgence. Covering the likes of Morrissey, on call of Natalie Merchant’s Though it may seem the other hand, may come as a sur- “Motherland” at the album’s begin- crass to draw comparisons with prise. “I was talking about my ning. Despite not being his own Johnny Cash’s American ambivalence towards America, the songs, everything that lies between Recordings series, there’s a refined fact that I’ve got wonderful and around those two points is dis- quality to Christy Moore’s new American friends whom I love tinctly Christy Moore. Perhaps it’s album, “Burning Times,” that dearly. I love being in America, I that there are universal themes at recalls the same kind of presence love gigging there, I love a lot of its the foundation of many of these the Man in Black imbued to songs culture and art. And yet, the behav- songs, or maybe it’s just the feel that were not his own. However, iour of some Americans appalls that Moore’s voice lends to them, rather than having a producer like me…at the moment, it’s a very but he has found a way to make the Rick Rubin to pick out the songs frightening country.” Having been work of Merchant, Richard that might work best for him, a major part of the “When Bush Thompson, and Joni Mitchell Moore has found himself magneti- Comes to Shove” protest gig last sound like they were once tradi- cally drawn towards certain songs year, and recently organising a ben- tional Irish folk songs. In fact, find- over the years: “I love to sing a efit concert for New Orleans, it’s ing that means to add eloquence to song that has meat and bones in it, clear Moore harbours a bittersweet shards of life-changing memories that has a personality and a charac- relationship with the US – one that and heartbreaking imperfection - ter…‘cause it’s what I do. I would- led him to an acquaintance with the the fabric of Ireland’s character – is n’t perform my own or another ex-Smiths singer’s song at just the what makes Moore the iconic sto- writer’s songs with any more pas- right time. “I think I said to my ryteller that he is. In his own words sion or examination. To me, a song wife: ‘I’d love to write something though, cohesion and the themes is a song no matter who’s written it. about my mixed feelings for that announce themselves from it I mean if I sing a only arrive as an song to you now and afterthought: “I it lasts four minutes, “ I love being in America, I love gigging don’t set out to for those four min- make a concept utes, that song there, I love a lot of its culture and art. album…I hope belongs to me and And yet, the behaviour of some that in the you – the singer and recording, some- the listener. As soon Americans appalls me…at the moment, times unbe- as I’m finished sin- knownst even to gin’ it, then it reverts it’s a very frightening country.” myself, one will to Bob Dylan. He actually emerge gets it back then,” he and there will be laughs. America’. So she just played it for a vibe that will go through an In many cases, Moore me and I said: ‘Jesus, I wonder if I album. But it’s just twelve individ- has been playing these songs for could sing that’. And then it start- ual songs that’ve been brought years, honing and subtly re-shaping ed,” Moore smiles, “…the long, together, and hopefully, will hang them until they’re as familiar as an agonising journey of trying to learn well that way.” old set of friends. Yet even for a Morrissey song.” As a whole, there is a those that have come to make regu- Moore has enjoyed a duality at play within “Burning lar appearances in live performanc- fruitful association with some of Times” - a mixture of nostalgia for es, the songs of this particular col- Ireland’s finest songwriters, and so the craic and biting statements that lection were fortunate to find a unsurprisingly, when the Kildare- can touch a nerve unexpectedly. An home together at all. Ever the per- man applies himself to the work of expert at knowing how to prick the fectionist, Moore’s meticulous John Spillane and Wally Page, it’s listener’s consciousness, Moore preparation also means long peri- an entirely natural fit. The country- knows that the right moment to do ods of incubation, wearing a tune in tinged macabre of the world of The so is just when you’re at your most like a new guitar until there can be Handsome Family, however, is comfortable. “ I suppose that would no doubt about its place in the fold. another connection that one might be my approach,” he ponders, as if So much so, in fact, that Moore not have foreseen with Moore. “I he had never thought of it that way. Christy on the new album: “Just from the moment we kicked off, I knew we had it, which was fabulous...” didn’t hesitate to re-record the heard the Handsomes singin’, and I “But I think you’ve got to be very album until it felt right: “We tried it was instantly smitten… I mean careful how you do it…you can’t acutely represents the essence of buzz around the hall when it’s over, heavy subjects, and we manage to ‘For feck’s sake Christy, would ye in two different recording studios, they are very dark, but sometimes go straight from the abuse of chil- Moore’s live experience. “My a lot of smiling faces. So that seems do it in a way that also allows us to ever lighten up!’ Just this voice and the third time we did it down in they manage to be hilariously dren into ‘The Craic Was Ninety In impression of the atmosphere to be the way it works; we seem to have a good night and to enjoy our- booming down the Point: ‘Bloody Declan [O’Rourke’s] house in funny simultaneously, and I love The Isle Of Man’, we have to move selves.” Even still, Moore is lighten up man’. But he was Cork. Just from the time we kicked that. It’s great sometimes to be gently from topics that deserve sen- “I love to sing a song that has meat and bones always prepared to pick up a les- right…and it was a magic off, I knew we had it, which was breaking your hole laughing at sitivity to bit of lunacy.” son or two along the way: “I moment.” fabulous. We both knew it was hap- something so incredibly dark.” Stepping seamlessly in it, that has a personality and a charac- remember a long time ago in the pening. I mean it is a bit of a cliché, One of the two from the warmth of “Magic Nights ter…‘cause it’s what I do.” Point I got stuck in some kind of a but in a way, this is a series of pho- Handsome Family tracks to feature in the Lobby Bar” to tales of injus- rut. I played ‘Farewell to Pripchat’ Burning Times is out now on tographs of what Declan and I have on “Burning Times,” “Peace in the tice within a minute, the proportion around the countries I do is that be able to present a mixture of and then I did ‘The Middle of the Columbia Records been doing for the last couple of Valley Once Again” imagines an of this balance on “Burning Times” there’s usually a fairly happy aul’ songs, some of which reflect on Island’, and this guy shouts up: inal with it. Dr. Dog: Of course, things are kept consid- Musical Rev-olution erably lo-fi throughout, but there's Easybeat a dark, rugged attractiveness and a tangible sense of team spirit that's Cian Traynor Trinity News’ Andrew Payne talks to The Revs about their new musical hard not to find appealing. There's a looseness to songs like "The direction and why they’re not playing “Turning Japanese” anymore. Pretender," "OhNo," and "Easybeat" that somehow always What do you think of when you released the same record in Lips do their own artwork, direct this new sound? The band admit the gigs we’re mostly playing new pulls things together enough to hear the name The Revs? I used to Australia last year with Smash short films, and other things. It ‘it takes a little while for people to stuff but if the crowd’s insane flirt with the notion of anthemic think Irish Blink 182. The band’s Music. It was played on alt. radio makes the whole band deeper’. realise that we’re not spiky haired we’ll play the old singles like genius. Tracks like "Say new self titled album was then and we suddenly found we were The change with this punk rockers, and there’s still a lot Wired to the Moon- while we Something" and "Wake Up," on very much a shock. Gone are the of convincing to do. But that said want to play the new material, at the other hand, will have you fol- pop-punk airs and in their place “The new album is a lot closer to our influ- a lot of our old fans got into us the same time we don’t want to lowing their trail until the path has some excellent tunes perhaps most when they were 16. Now it’s four disappoint’. ences. Like in my early teens I was really changed unrecognisably…the des- reminiscent of a young U2. years on and they’re in second There would seem then tination becoming something I suggest this to the year in college, they’ve grown up much for the Revs to look forward into U2. I remember listening to Under a unforeseeably brilliant. The cas- band and they explain how too and they probably don’t want to and the band are definitely cading doo-wop harmonies and they’ve recently gone through Blood Red Sky on cassette all the time....” another version of the last album. looking forward to the future. Scott McMicken's wavering some big changes, ‘We changed We still get the odd person coming ‘We’re so excited about getting the (sometimes faltering) bathroom- managers and that has had a big getting really, really good reviews album hasn’t just been in artwork up after gigs and saying ‘why did- record out and so happy with how vocals are elements almost guar- effect’, explains guitarist Michael from the same material that had however. There has been a clear n’t you play Turning Japanese?’ it turned out. It’s still early days Dr. Dog make Arcade Fire feel anteed to eventually have their Daniel. ‘When we were with our largely been ignored over here. It musical shift. As guitarist Michael but we haven’t played that in yet but the initial response has like the altogether wholesome way with you. old manager [Robert Stephenson], really showed us that how you Daniel explains, ‘the direction fuckin’ years! My response is been great. We wanted to record marriage between a picture-perfect The final moments of he was very into all-age shows present yourself is really crucial. with our previous manager was always ‘Did you have a good something we’d buy ourselves and jock and head-cheerleader, the album finish things up won- and he had a lot of punk bands on How you photograph the band for very very commercial. It was all gig?’ and the response has been I think that’s something everyone "Funeral" being the clean-cut, derfully with what sounds like a the label. Initially though we instance is so important. I’d never very in your face, two top 5 that they loved it so everything should strive for’. picket-fenced product of their con- campfire sing-along, screaming: weren’t punk, then we released really been into the artwork side albums kind of stuff. We just had seems to be going very well. In summation. In comparison, "Wake up, wake UP…wake uuu- Wired to the Moon and we got of things. I’d appreciate it when it enough and decided that this "Easybeat" is the long-haired uppp! We are only part of a labelled as pop-punk. We’d go out was done right, like for instance wouldn’t work, we didn’t want to deadbeat who's more than happy dream. Oh, the things in your and play these gigs and then go Damien Rice with O- that makes play that music anymore. The new to leave the world of high-school heart, like the things in your head, home and listen to the music we the whole inlay much more inter- album is a lot closer to our influ- reunions behind. That is to say, are only what they seem." In an love, bands like the Beatles, esting. But now I realise how ences. Like in my early teens I Dr. Dog sound like they know no era of creative saturation, we need Radiohead, and the Jam. I mean much it affects how you’re was really into U2. I remember one's ever going to hear their more records like "Easybeat," not we enjoyed everything, but the viewed’. The artwork of the new listening to Under a Blood Red songs…and they don't care. only because it proves that there is media he was pushing us into was album is certainly very striking; Sky on cassette all the time. Then The album starts off a quality of life to be found in aes- Kerrang. That seemed to kind of this was very much a conscious also Achtung Baby and David with a sound like that of "Abbey thetic recycling, but just simply scare people in the Irish scene a decision. ‘We wanted to change Bowie. What’s been really positive Road," but as one soon sees, because they're damn good. bit and maybe they just saw us as everything - before this everything about this round of promotional "Easybeat" is filled with more Blink 182-style California had always been very rushed with stuff is the references people are familiar turns than the spiral pat- wannabes at best’. artwork. But I think we’ve realised quoting in interviews that we’re terns on a stretch of forgotten 70s The band released their that if someone doesn’t like a reminding them of. It’s been very carpet. In fact, one could argue Easy Beat is out now on National single ‘Death of a DJ’ in the UK photo then they’ve judged you positive, a real step up. People are that musically, there's not a single Parking and although it didn’t really do too already. For instance, if I like the comparing our stuff to stuff we’re original element to be found on much, it was given rave reviews in look of a CD in the shop, it catch- interested in, that’d never happen the album…but yet that's the most Kerrang. That was pretty much all es my eye and I think the band before’. wonderful thing about it. Dr. Dog however. A big change occurred must have put a lot of time into it The past few weeks take sounds that are so over-used when the ‘Revs Suck’ album was and must care. It’s just another have seen lots of gigging for the they've long since curdled and released in Australia last year. ‘We side to the music. The Flaming band. How have people taken to make something endearingly orig- 14 Tuesday November 1st, 2005 Food & Drink Editor: Rosie Gogan-Keogh FOOD & DRINK Trinity News Chai-Yo and Town Bar Conspicous and Grill Consumption Our Editor Finds Out That Eating Out In Dublin Is Not Quite As Simple As One Might Think...

…With Claudia I’m not sure why it is, but I find For lunch we stopped off I’m constantly thinking about the at the Chai Yo Asian restaurant on meaning of eating. Ok, ok, that Baggot Street. The restaurant is in sounds ridiculous. Obviously eat- one of the big, old Georgian build- ing is what keeps us alive, blah, ings just opposite the Bank of Braün blah, blah. But what about the Ireland. It is quite incredible, a bit occasion and circumstance behind of a show off really. The seats are it? How is it we get such joy and arranged around three sides of a pleasure out of something which is large, completely flat metallic fundamentally just another bodily cooker. You are given a menu by dren of the neighbouring estate, function? The fact is eating is not one of the superbly overly-polite I have always felt that which was owned by a slightly just the act of consumption. Or at staff, which consists of Prawn, good taste, much like intelligence inferior family, the Sexton- least it shouldn’t always be. Chicken, Beef and Lamb, or vari- or class, is something with which Ritchies. The youngest Sexton- Food plays such an ous, more expensive, combinations one is born. And so it was with me. Ritchie child, Eustace (18 months), important role in everyone’s life. It of the above. From cradle to finishing school my disgraced both himself and his can make you happy, angry, I wrote a review last year parents ensured that I was plied family by first refusing his meal depressed, whatever. Some people of the Alilang on Parnell Street, with only the best of sustenance. and then attempting to employ the have the ultimate in pleasure in eat- where you cook your own food on Not for me the humble nourish- ink for some kind of crude finger ing a particular meal while for oth- your personal grill in the middle of ment of the breast. No, under my painting upon his napkin. Of ers it’s the cause of stress. the table. Well, this is a notch or mother’s tutition I quickly devel- course he was instantly removed so Whatever the case, food always two up from that. Chai Yo spe- oped a taste for fruits de mer, par- that I and my guests could enjoy surrounds some other action. Be it cialises in Teppan cooking in ticularly squid. Squid was the sta- our squid at peace, and yet a seed for romantic pursuits, an excuse to which not only is your food cooked ple food I consumed from my ivory of disquiet was placed in the mind get the family together, to gain for you, but you get the whole the- highchair, though in times of of Mr. Sexton-Ritchie that any weight, to lose it. Without meaning atrical show along with it. You are duress, when our procurer of my child of his could behave in such an to sound sinister, there is always greeted by your ‘chef for the day,’ preferred mollusc informed us his uncouth manner. Naturally the some ulterior motive to eating. complete with meringue hat and I recently spent a day also shared a bottle of the house Good evening my darlings, and stocks had run dry, I could be per- seed germinated till Mr. Sexton- with my father. We don’t spend that red which was remarkable in its welcome to Conspicuous suaded to sample octopus. In truth Ritchie could stand it no longer and “I couldn’t stop thinking about all the events, deci- much time together anymore, and own right on a wine list which Consumption, a new column I simply affected choosiness. I was forced to order a paternity test sions, meetings, that had happened over a meal, a on this occasion I hadn’t seen him boasted €700 bottles of wherein I, Claudia Braün – would gladly consume anything as for the scurrilous juvenile. It was in a particularly long time. We drink, a feast, whatever” Rothschild. doyenne of high society and cham- revealed by this test that young decided, seeing how he was in It was during lunch that it pion of exotic cuisine – share with “I was informed by My Eustace was, in fact, the bastard had the prawns which were tasty, town for the day that we would some super culinary tool belt. Your became apparent that we were not you – eager little minnows of progeny of Mrs. Sexton-Ritchie’s but I was left with the distinct feel- Nephew the Vegetarian meet up for lunch, I would go back food is then flipped up and down, just there to eat. This was some- Trinity College – some of the brief adultery with the rugged son ing that one was paying for the that this was somewhat to college for my last two lectures caught in hats, juggled, cooked and thing much more. This was an secrets of eating high off the hog, of the family’s coal shoveller. Of show and smiling staff rather than and then we would meet up again. served, all right in front of you. I excuse to sit me down and talk and other animals. akin to consuming a beef course both mother and child were the haute cuisine. Filled me up for about, dun dun dun, my life. Argh! Now, before I begin, I hastily removed to The Colonies, a while though. steak floating in a bowl Food was just the medium through must stress that I will not be and soon Mr. Sexton-Ritchie came But that was only until of milk – so I promptly which this was made possible. And dwelling at any length on the outr- to be glad of the Squid Ink after we met up again and wan- in retrospect spending this time gaeous allegations that have landed disowned him” Incident, for it had helped expose a dered round Grafton Street and talking about the direction I was me in the dank squalor of Women’s cuckoo in the nest. Dawson Street wondering what we going in while incredibly worth- Prison, nor will I be expounding in long as it had tentacles – oh, they In many ways this tale would do for the evening. I felt too while also made me reflect on the any detail upon the meagre menu excited my childish fancy so! illuminates my own philosophy of guilty after eating so much lunch to idea of eating as a whole. This was that is now offered to your humble The best way to serve food and eating. It is often claimed suggest more food. But all that just one occurrence where some- servent and the slack-jawed harri- squid, to either infant or adult, is that the consumption of a meal is a traipsing around looking for some- thing important had been discussed dans with whom she must share her within a pool of its own ink. I was great ‘leveller’. I believe some of thing to do built up an appetite. On or had happened. While we ate every waking moment. I feel that informed by My Nephew the the proletariat refer to this as a friend’s suggestion we decided to amazing food, I couldn’t stop readers of any distinction would Vegetarian that this was somewhat ‘breaking bread’. Well, while a try Town Bar and Grill on Kildare thinking about all the events, deci- soon turn away from a correspon- akin to consuming a beef steak general ignorance of cutlery may, Street, a place where we might be sions, meetings, that had happened dent who wasted precious column floating in a bowl of milk – so I in some part, explain the vulgar able to get a bottle of wine and over a meal, a drink, a feast, what- inches on the vague differentiations promptly disowned him. Nobody brutalism of this term, I feel it is a some nibbles. However, after look- ever. Yet to eat and drink are just in flavour between the alternating but nobody will convince me that fine example of the fundamental ing at the very appealing menu we simple animalistic bodily functions White Gruel and Grey Gruel which squid should be served any other truth I shall be imparting through couldn’t not eat. but are really not a simple as one I am served in lieu of actual food. way. Hot or cold this makes for a this column: Anyone (even the son This newly opened, might think. Rather I will be seizing sublime taste experience, one of a coal shoveller) can eat – only a dimly lit basement has been really upon this opportunity to reflect on which once sampled is rarely for- person of quality can dine. well reviewed by the Tom my gastronomic adventures outside gotten. It is also, when served to Doorley’s and Domini Kemp’s of prison walls, dictating to my scribe children, an excellent authenticator [Claudia Braün is in conversation this city. I, well, must say wasn’t (the warden having cruelly denied of pedigree. Allow me to with David Turpin.] exactly blown away. The menu, as me access to any implements of expand… I said, is impressive, with your writing, cutting or scoring) some of Upon the occasion of my usual mishmash of upmarket the myriad expeditions I have second birthday, a special Squid brassiere fare. I had Chicken Breast made into the furthest alimentary dinner was arranged for myself, my wrapped in Proscuitto, which was orbits. sister Hecabe, and the three chil- tasty, but not mind blowing. We SEARCH FOR THE HOLY GRAIL Bavaria €3€ The essence of this column is cheap. But a cheap pint doesn’t have to mean a bad pint. It is with this in mind that we are including a section on drinking on the bright side of three euro. If you are taste sensitive then turn away now. The sunny side of three euro per pint comes at a cost, the bar maids with hoof dentures, the funeral time music and the refreshing taste of anti-design. This is not Dawson Street country. Fibber’s, Parnell Street, Dublin 1

prised of leather-faced men, and cushy beer garden, which is proba- Fibber Magee's - or to us unfortu- women who have become installa- bly now Fibber's crowning glory. nate locals simply Fibber's - is an tions at the bar they look like they One of the few places in town you institution in itself. have been sitting there that long. can sit and smoke a joint hassle Along with several other Downstairs, you will find any free. They also have a couple of pubs around the city centre, it has leather-wearing alternative youth pool tables which are the most copped on to the fact that if you who ever graced the steps of the social part of the place. sell cheap and nasty beer you Central Bank or decorated the Fibber's is known as attract an entire sub-crowd who are ground of Curved Street with their Dublin's Oldest Metal Bar; how too broke-ass or stingy to spend the vomit. viable that is I don't know. guts of a fiver on a pint. Hence you However, I guess that's down to can now buy one of our nation's “Downstairs, you personal opinion. Metal in terms of favourites, Bavaria, on tap for 3. Bon Jovi, more recent System of a For the joy of being able will find any leather- Down, Guns n' Roses and any of to purchase such liquid all you wearing alternative the first six tracks from Metallica's have to do is make the trek down to black album. Parnell Street and put up with the youth who ever Fibber’s also run a 3 euro god-awful smell of shite that has graced the steps of night on Thursday nights where lingered within those walls since you pay 3 euro at the door and the ever. Seriously it's nasty. You also the Central Bank...” samefor any drinks. Which is sort have to put up with the regulars of defeatist in a way because the there of which there are two kinds Probably not the most only reason I go there is to drink and couldn't be any more different appealing of descriptions but the Bavaria on tap. from each other if they tried. place does have some upsides apart Upstairs the local gentry are com- from cheap drink. It boasts a really Tuesday November 1st, 2005 15 Trinity News FOOD & DRINK The Food News Column! November

McDonald's are unhealthy and fat- raised public concern about the killed at least 60 people in Asia tening, at a time when obesity lev- safety of poultry products. The since 2003. els in many countries are soaring. spokeswoman said: "We are not Humans catch avian flu through The world's biggest restaurant saying anything new, we are sim- close contact with live infected Recipes company said it hoped to intro- ply reiterating food safety advice." birds. duce the new packaging by Cook thoroughly Birds excrete the virus in their fae- Hallowe’en evokes memories of stuffing one’s face following a ridicu- February next year in time for the A spokeswoman for the Food ces, which dry and become pul- lous dash around your area asking neighbours for sweets while dressed Winter Olympics in Italy. Standards Agency said: "Like verised, and are then inhaled. in a bin bag and if you were lucky a cheap elasticated mask. Oh EFSA, we are not aware of any Therefore, the people thought to Hallowe’en! While I would have loved to have written about the best reports of people getting avian flu be at risk are those involved in the methods of Trick or Treat, I thought against it. Here are a few tradition- Food experts advise from eating poultry or eggs. slaughter and preparation of meat al recipes for Halloween treats: "The issue is people having con- that may be infected. that eggs should be tact with live birds that have the However, the World Health Pumkin Pie cooked thoroughly disease. Organization recommends, to be Poultry and eggs should be thor- "EFSA appears to be reiterating absolutely safe all meat should be Frozen shortbread pastry (defrosted), you can buy in any supermarket! oughly cooked before consump- long-standing food safety advice cooked to a temperature of at least 1 lb (450g) pumpkin flesh, cut into chunks tion to avoid any risk of bird flu, about cooking poultry and eggs 70C. Eggs should also be thor- 2 eggs plus 1 yolk (Keep the white) food experts advise. thoroughly to kill bugs and virus- oughly cooked. 1 tablespoon molasses McDonald's chief executive Jim Fast food giant Although the risk of these prod- es." 3 oz (75g) brown sugar Skinner said printing nutritional ucts carrying avian flu is extreme- The H5N1 strain of avian flu has 1 teaspoon cinnamon McDonald's is to facts on the packaging of its foods ly low, the European Food Safety _ teaspoons of Nutmeg, ground cloves, ground ginger (You can mix n begin printing nutri- would put the information directly Authority has reiterated its advice. match these depending on what you have!) in the hands of the company's cus- tional facts on the Raw eggs and chicken can carry 10 fl oz (275ml) double cream tomers. bugs and viruses that people can packaging of its burg- "We think this the absolutely easi- catch, such as salmonella and the- You will need a 9 inch tin – which you can buy for about €2 in Tesco ers and fries. est way to communicate it," Mr oretically bird flu. McDonald's said the labelling Skinner said. By thoroughly cooking these Pre-heat the oven to gas mark 4, 350F, 180C would include the fat, salt, calorie "We've given them what they foods people can avoid the risk, no and carbohydrate content of its asked for and then people take matter how small it is. Place a steamer over a pan of simmering water, add the pumpkin and foods. responsibility about whether they We are not aware of any steam for 15 minutes until tender. Critics have accused the company add it up or not add it up." reports of people getting avian flu Then place a sieve over a bowl and press the pumpkin through. of contributing towards rising lev- McDonald's has been introducing from eating poultry or eggs Roll the pasty and line the tin with it. Prick the base all over and brush els of obesity and other health items such as salads and fruit to its it with the egg white. Place in the centre of the oven and bake for 20 problems. menus, alongside the company's A spokeswoman for the Food minutes until crisp and golden. Nutritional information on items more traditional fare of burgers, Standards Agency Next lightly whisk the eggs and extra yolk in a large bowl. such as the Big Mac, which con- fries and milkshakes. An EFSA spokeswoman said, Add the molasses, then the sugar, spices and cream to a saucepan and let tains 30g of fat, are currently only Earlier this year, the US company given measures already in place, it simmer. Whisk it to mix everything together. Pour in the eggs then the available in leaflets or on the com- announced that it was giving its the risk of bird flu entering the pumpkin, whisking the while time. pany's website. iconic mascot clown Ronald food chain was in fact very low. Pour into the pastry case and bake for 35-40 minutes. Allow to cool on McDonald's said it hoped to have McDonald a sporty new makeover She added: "Should this happen in a wire rack before serving! the new packaging in 20,000 of its in a bid to encourage children to future cooking will also be protec- 30,000 fast food restaurants world- take up more active lifestyles. tive." wide by the end of 2006. But critics have maintained that The advice has been issued Dinner in a Pumpkin 'Take responsibility' many of the foods on offer at because anxiety about bird flu has Not quite sure if I’m disgusted or intrigued by this – found it on the internet. Man, those crazy Americans.

1 small to med. pumpkin The Dublin Food 2 tbsp vegetable oil 2 tbsp soy sauce 1 1/2 c. cooked rice Experience 1 (4oz.) can sliced mushrooms, drained 1 (10 3/4 oz.) can cream of chicken soup Burritos and Blues, 1 (8oz.) can sliced water chestnuts, drained 1 onion, chopped 1 1/2 - 2 lbs. ground beef Ranelagh Road, Dublin 6 2 tbsp brown sugar

Cut off the top of the pumpkin and thoroughly clean out seeds and pulp. Until recently I was of the opin- They serve a large selection of Paint an appropriate face on the front with a permanent marker. ion that the words Mexican and burritos, nachos, quesadillas, all Fast Food should never be in the for under €7. And of course the Preheat oven to 350F 180C Gas mark 4. In a large frying pan, sauté same sentence. If they did it was obligatory fries and soda fountain onions in oil till tender. Add meat and brown. Drain drippings, add soy only to summon up tearful mem- drinks. They even have a student sauce, brown sugar, mushrooms and soup. ories of severe cases of a certain special with their speciality Silver Japanese Flag syndrome. Simply Bullet Burrito, chips and a drink Simmer 10 minutes, stirring occasionally. Add cooked rice and water put Mexican Fast Food, especial- for a fiver. Nice one. chestnuts. Spoon mixture into the cleaned pumpkin shells. ly when in Mexico, is just bad You don’t even get news. bombarded with run of the mill Replace top and place entire pumpkin with filling on a baking sheet. However that opinion music – we’re talking quality Bake 1 hour or until inside of pumpkin is tender. Cooking time may vary was greatly altered when I dis- Creedence, Janis, Nina, you name up to 2 hours, depending on size of pumpkin. Place entire pumpkin on covered the newly opened it. They also have live bands serving platter, remove lid and serve mixture plus meat of the pumpkin. Burritos and Blues. Looking for weekly. something other than some bat- Ok, so this isn’t exactly Thai Green Curry - benji gogan tered deep fried Chineseness on a a review, more like my personal wet evening; I was lured by the rant about this place’s greatness. Ingredients: Chicken (cubed), Onion (sliced), Garlic , Aubergine, blues. But seriously what more could Cougette, Rocket Lettuce (shredded), Green Curry Paste, Coconut milk, Burritos and Blues is a you ask for in a restaurant? And Peppers, Chillies,chicken stock cube(dissolved in half a cup of hot newly opened Mexican Fast Food it’s on the LUAS, so free trans- water), Rice. The ingredients you choose for this recipe are all really a joint in Ranelagh. And it does port. No excuses. matter of personal preferance, aside from the essentials of the dish. Plans for regeneration of the Buttery to go ahead exactly what it says on the tin. Cut all your ingredients to roughtly the same size, with the exception of the garlic and chillies. Start by putting your rice on, following the direc- tions on the packet is probably your best bet.

Begin by sweating your onion over a low heat in a little oil along with Trinity News the garlic, chillies and curry paste (the amount depends on your prefer- ence, one desert spoon per average human being average human being or to taste.) Once soft, add the rest of your veg and fry lightly for 3-5 minutes, add your coconut milk, stock and rocket lettuce. the curry should be a creamy consistancy, if it's too thin cook for the remaining 30 Guide to Eating minutes uncovered, otherwise thin with a little water and simmer half covered.

And how could we forget… and Drinking in... Curly Kale/ Colcannon

3 lbs potatoes, scrubbed 2 sticks butter 1 1/4 cups hot milk Dublin 1 Freshly ground black pepper 1 head curly cale 4 scallions, finely chopped With the changing streets, eateries and boozeries in Dublin we have decided this year to continue the Trinity News Chopped parsley leaves, for garnish Guide to all your food and drink needs. Issue by issue we will ingest the best, on your behalf. Area by area, we pick apart your locality in an effort to give you an idea of which part of town is the real liver and legume of Dublin’s food Steam the potatoes in their skins for 30 minutes. Peel them using a knife and fork. Chop with a knife before mashing. Mash thoroughly to remove and drink scene. all the lumps. Add 1 stick of butter in pieces. Gradually add hot milk, stirring all the time. Season with a few grinds of black pepper. Best for booze: The Chinese Off-Licence, Parnell Street. Can’t for the life of me remember what it’s called but it is ridiculously cheap and it comes complete with a sign on the wall in Chinese – I had to ask for it to be translated of course – that tells you Alcohol Brings Sorrow. But you can get about 18 cans of beer for €20. Boil the cabbage in unsalted water until it turns a darker color. Add 2 tablespoons butter to tenderize it. Cover with lid for 2 minutes. Drain Best for meat, fish, fruit and veg: Moore St Market has been here for generations. The oul’ ones still remain even though the area has now been dubbed various things from Little Nigeria thoroughly before returning it to the pan. Chop into small pieces. to Chinatown. This only adds to the charm and means that it has also become one of the best places in town to find exotic ingredients too. Add cabbage and scallions, to mashed potatoes, stirring them in gently. Best for a pint: The Flowing Tide, Abbey Street. A dingy old man pub with a metal bar downstairs and resident bar of Abbey actors for years, it even serves a good pint. Serve in individual soup plates. Make an indentation on the top by Best dancing: Hospital, Traffic, Abbey Street. Friday nights at Traffic have become one have the only reasons for going out in this dismal city. Some of the most amazing live electronic swirling a wooden spoon. Put 1 tablespoon of butter into each indenta- music around as well as some of the nicest people. Yay for Hospital! tion. Sprinkle with parsley.

Best grub: Alilang Korean, Parnell Street. Cheap and fun. I know I talk about this place a lot, but really, it’s for a reason. 16 Travel Editor: Alix O’Neill Tuesday November 1, 2005 Trinity News Exploring In Ecuador Alyson Mc Evoy on her volunteering experience From above, Quito, the bustling bres weren’t always so amiable. Cordillera De Los Andes’. This The next day more than and at times turbulent capital of One of my worst memories of Andean ridge sweeps majestically made up for it though, as we decid- Ecuador appears out of nowhere. Quito is sitting at a bus stop at 5am from north of Columbia right down ed to descend to the shore of the From among the rugged mountain on a Monday morning, one of the through Ecuador, Peru and Chile magnificent ‘Laguna Quilotoa’. We peaks of the Andes appears a plain, most exciting weekends of my life into the Patagonian plains at the approached the descent into the a flat rectangle of land hemmed in just behind me, but my eyes nearly very southern tip of South crater hesitantly but soon we were on all sides by mountaintops and falling out of my head after a America. literally sliding down the interior of volcanoes, into which is crammed bumpy overnight bus ride. I sat One of the most memo- the volcano as walking proved one of the liveliest capital cities of dazed, wondering if buses even ran rable journeys made to these moun- impossible on the gravely soil. On South America. A startling array of at this hour of the morning, when tain communities was to an espe- reaching the lake’s edge we came buildings of all shapes, sizes and two shoeless muchachos cially chilled and remote place, across a little dinghy, unmanned wacky colours assaults the senses approached. I can’t quite remember made famous by its proximity to a and unattended. Excited and eager of an Irlandesa, fresh from the what was said but before I knew it stunning lake filled volcanic crater. as we were, we searched the shore misty greens of an Irish winter… they were quoting Edgar Allen Poe The alkaline content of this mas- for the owner of the tiny vessel, As the plane nears the airport, ready to implore him to venture which is bang in the centre of the “We stumbled upon ‘salsotecas’ brimming with onto the lake with us. We never city, a teeming population reveals Latin passions, cafes serving local favourites and found him, if he does exist, and we itself pouring around the streets. contented ourselves with gazing Now on Ecuadorian soil small theatres, cinemas and quirky bars” awe-inspired at the lake and the not much has changed. Only the at me and getting closer and closer. sive volume of water was such that sloping inner walls of the volcano clamour of city reveals itself. All I could do was gaze astonished it had a permanent green tint, the and laughed at ourselves, picnick- Honking horns, roaring engines, and bleary eyed at them and clutch intensity of which altered with each ing, of all places, inside a crater! friendly banter and the yells of my belongings fiercely. Next thing passing cloud. ‘Quilotoa’, as this hawkers adds an animated sound- a flashy car pulled up beside the place was called, was scarcely The Andean ridge is but track to the bustle. bus stop and two wealthy what you might call a village. I saw one region of Ecuador however. After about a month Ecuadorians asked me if I needed humble brick houses-cum-hostels This, one of the smallest countries working in this jam-packed city, its some assistance. I wasn’t sure and a small women’s hand craft in South America, is also one of the charms began to reveal themselves which would prove to be the better shop but no tienda or shop of any most diverse. As I found out during to my co-workers and me. We of the two evils but I got into the kind was ever made known to me my weekend explorations through- stumbled upon ‘salsotecas’ brim- car and off we sped. They turned no matter how much I paced its one out the country, Ecuador boasts a ming with Latin passion, cafes out to be computer programmers narrow street looking for a much stunning coastline, a sizeable sec- serving local favourites such as who had just finished a major deserved bread roll and perhaps a tion of the Amazonian rainforest as ‘maduros’, (fried banana) and assignment and had slept even less hot drink. My overnight stay in well as the remarkable Galapagos crispy ‘choclo’ (corn on the cob) than myself over the past two Quilotoa, I will always remember islands, made famous by Charles and small theatres, cinemas and nights. They assured me they had as the bitterest and wintriest of all Darwin’s made most controversial quirky bars. We soon realised how- just saved my skin and that I was my life. Preparing for bed that work, ‘The origin of the species’. ever, that nowhere evaded the Latin surely about to be robbed. I took it night saw my friend and me putting Over the next three passion of the Ecuatorianos and we all very lightly at the time but the on pyjamas over our clothes in a weeks I’ll be giving you a taste of often found ourselves hopping next day, after a goodnights sleep, desperate attempt to stay warm. We what I got up to in these various from bar to bar, not for the sheer reality dawned on me and I found were the only guests at the hostel parts of Ecuador; an up close and fun of it, but to evade our amorous myself agreeing with them. that night and we stalked the rooms personal account of the full moon admirers who marvelled at our pale As time went on, another for blankets, before shivering into party in the hippest little town on complexions and yellow locks. The advantage of Quito dawned on me; bed and layering at least five blan- the Pacific coast, some monkey same admirers who declared their its proximity to small mountain vil- kets on top of ourselves. It wasn’t business in the jungle and you’ll undying love half way through our lages, each easily visited in the so much warm as just really heavy meet a shipwrecked group of first dance! space of a weekend and with the and stifling but I didn’t move all dejected tourists on the isles of But the Ecuadorian hom- most amazing views of ‘La night to peel any off… Darwin’s dreams... Alyson and friends pose for the camera Off the Rails The Interrailer’s where. I fear it’s only a matter of square was a particular highlight, Jonny Drennan treks time before you will be able to eat huge golden statues depicting war- a Sunday Roast whilst watching riors of Hungarian folklore were Survival Guide the European plain Eastenders in the old town. set against a backdrop of children Another week, another skateboarding. In search of amuse- Alix O’ Neill and Dexter Galvin You’ll invariably wake up to a foot massage in the “Hello, this is the final call for Croatia. Ten hours later we arrived country. On a bit of an impulse we ment one day, Adam suggested a middle of the night, administered by some dodgy Easyjet flight from Belfast to in Split and got a ferry to Hvar decided to go to Sarajevo. After a massage at Budapest’s thermal Interrailing; the obligatory student experience. Right Italian gentleman called Federico. This is not a desir- Treiste for Mr Jonathan Drennan, Island. day’s travel in a minibus we baths. I scoffed at the suggestion up there with anti-war rallies, embarrassing one night able situation. The solution is to take your smelliest Stephen Mennely, Andrew Kyle arrived at around midday. Looking but soon I found myself face down stands and fantasising about your elderly Greek mate travelling with you. Anytime the train stops for and Adam Lewis; I repeat the final Hvar Island, a playboy’s out the window we saw shelled on a table not with the beautiful History lecturer. Ahem… passengers, get him to remove his shoes and delve call.” Mr Mennely heard this paradise. Yachts line the shore- buildings everywhere; the first Hungarian lady I had imagined but With Eastern European travel increasingly accessible into an in-depth discussion on his athlete’s foot. Invite when he was sitting on the toilet front and marble streets give the sign we came across was with a hairy bloke called Nikolae, these days, the possibilities are endless. Travelling on Johnny Foreigner to examine said ailment. You’ll with the Sun. His other friends island an Italian feel. Renowned ‘Welcome to Sarajevo, Olympic pummeling my backside. When in the continent however, does have its trials, so you never see him again. were too tired to hear. At four am for its beauty, we came here on the City 84’ with a shell mark through Rome... should be well prepared before you set off on your human reactions aren’t normally strong advice of friends. It didn’t it. We had no accommodation, so Travelling by night on travels. Here are our top ten tips to make the most of the best but we realised it might disappoint. We enjoyed days of when a nice old lady driving a yel- the train is a novel experience. If your trip. 5) Learn a foreign language be a good idea to start running for beautiful sunshine, exploring the low school bus said she would the lack of conversation doesn’t It might come in useful. the sake of the holiday. Sprinting old town and just enjoying the fact take us to her place we didn’t hesi- get to you, the smell of feet will. 1) Bring a backpack down to the departure area we saw we had somehow managed to get tate in accepting. After a tiring journey via Slovakia The obvious choice of luggage for the budget trav- 6) Don’t take anything expensive with you something orange on the horizon. into Eastern Europe. Arriving at Hostel we arrived in Krakow in Poland. eller, right? Many first time interrailers truly believe a This is common sense but you’d be surprised at the It wasn’t an early morning sun but Next stop was Korcula, Lbujica, we were informed that The city resembles Prague ten Louis Vuitton suitcase on wheels is a sensible vessel number of idiots who don’t follow this simple rule. instead a very cross Easyjet an island close by, as a college accommodation in the centre was years ago before stag nights for traipsing round the continent. These are usually They usually end up inventing nonsense insurance employee called Mandy. No friend of Stephen’s was staying full but there was a dorm nearby arrived en masse.A beautiful the sort of folk who pack superfluous items such as scams that never work. and Vladamir would take us there. square flanked by an impressive fake tan and curling tongs. Steer clear- high mainte- “We looked to Andy, once our school’s star linguist, Vladamir spoke no English, was cathedral, Krakow cuts an impres- nance women are not cut out for life on the road. 7) Shun hardcore travellers 6’4’’ and drove a yellow Mercedes sive figure. Krakow offers the for inspiration. ‘Mama Mia’, was all he could Unfortunately, there are those who think travelling that had seen better traveler plenty, but unfortunately a 2) Don’t dress like a tourist involves changing your name from Kevin to River, muster. We hadn’t stamped our tickets and were days. Driving us high up above the lot of its notoriety derives from its Different countries have different uniforms. taking up juggling and growing dreads. It doesn’t. now being thrown off the train...” city, we eventually arrived in a close proximity to Auschwitz. We Americans typically sport the white tennis shoe and These people smell. Avoid them. field with no exits and three men went to the camp for the day as oversized Bermuda shorts with numerous pockets for amount of sweet-talking could there. We arrived in the near with their arms folded. A we felt we should but that’s anoth- their dollars (the Yanks have yet to work out that dif- 8)Buy booze from the supermarket persuade her. We had held up a deserted town and were met by a rotweiller on a leash was snarling er story. ferent countries have different currencies). The Find yourself a member from the above group (on the flight and were consigned to pay- South African in a cowboy hat at us. We needn’t have worried; Our final stop of the trip Japanese tourist can often be identified by his large rare occasion they come in handy). Ensure they can ing sixty pounds and getting who wanted us to come to his the men and their dog were was Prague; the general consensus elongated implement… his camera lens. The French provide music of some sort (bongo, guitar, tin whis- another flight to Venice. ‘Happy House’. It turns out it was instead a dubious welcoming com- was that this could be the best city wear sweaters as scarves a la Alan Partridge and the tle). Buy copious amounts of cheap beer from your Arriving in Venice, you all very much above board and his mittee. Our three days in this city of the whole holiday. You are left Spanish give a nostalgic nod to the eighties with a local supermarket and sit around in a circle availing of are immediately struck by its ‘Happy House’ was an incredible were a pleasure. The people were in no doubt about Prague’s beauty. wide selection of mullets. You do not want to be asso- herbal refreshments and singing the entire repertoire beauty. It is completely unique; hostel. I have to confess that we desperate for us to form a The problem is how ultimately ciated with any of these people. When in Rome, dress of Jack Johnson. This will save you a fortune and light green water set against saw very little of this island partly favourable impression of their city kitsch it has become. Prague as you would in Ireland. make you feel “alternative”. ancient buildings, old pious ladies due to the atmosphere in the hos- and generally, we did. Our visit Castle for example is the largest clutching their rosary beads, tel. You know you are in a good coincided with the annual ancient castle in the world. We 3) Don’t sleep with Italian men 9) Don’t buy vulgar souvenirs as presents young tanned lovers and well, us. place when the hostel owner is Sarajevo film festival and we visited it only to see a Disney- Especially when they say they love you… They don’t The male phallus fashioned to resemble the Eiffel We left early that morning on a challenging his guests to a beer spent our last night watching a esque procession of knights and mean it… Miscreants! Tower is not an appropriate gift for your grandmoth- train bound for Trieste, our origi- funnel contest and winning most “We arrived in the near deserted townand were er. nal destination. times. 4) Bring a mate “Teekets, teeeeeeekets!” We stayed in Dubrovnik met by a South African in a cowboy hat who want- The last thing you want on an overnight train journey 10) Keep a journal We woke with a shudder, to a for one night. The old town is ed us to come to his ‘happy house’...” is to share a cramped carriage with Johnny Foreigner. We have to keep this page going. dodgy looking Italian ticket spectacular. Bombed by Yugoslav inspector. We gave him our tick- forces in the early nineties, it has film about a Romanian prostitute jesters emerge from the draw- ets. He pointed to some Italian been restored to near perfection. and her turkey- at least I think that bridge for the tourists. The city script on the back. We looked to Climbing the city walls all you was what it was about. boasts some amazing architecture Andy, once our school’s star lin- can see are miles of orange roofs Budapest was next on but the onslaught of tourists in guist, for inspiration. “Mama Mia” with a huge castle in the back- the agenda. Separated by the recent years has somewhat dimin- was all he could muster. We hadn’t ground. It has been described as Danube river, Budapest is in fact ished its fairytale charm. stamped our tickets and now were one of the most beautiful cities in two cities, Buda and Pest. The city Very tired, we arrived in being thrown off the train in the world and it didn’t really dis- has an odd feel to it- it looks like a Belfast days later. We had no Treviso station.This trip already appoint. However, like many slightly rundown Spanish town money left, had maxed our credit had a feeling of deja vu. We had places it has become slightly spoilt with shop fronts that are caught in cards and lost half of our clothes. to pay a hundred euros between us by the influx of tourists. an eighties time warp. We were Still, you can’t buy experience and before we were let off. Somehow Dubrovnik, whilst being unique in staying in Pest. It proved a pleas- I can’t wait to do it again. we got to the bus leaving for Split, its beauty has started welcoming ant base, but the beauty of the city a coastal town in the middle of English and Irish style pubs every- was to be found in Buda. Heroes’ Prague’s Huss Monument, a regular stop for Trinity’s interrailers Careers Editor: Emma Hutchinson Tuesday, November 1st, 2005 17 Trinity News CAREERS Loving Erasmus in Lausanne Thinking of going away on an Erasmus programme? Elaine Gallagher looks back on her time in Switzerland and thinks Lausanne could just be your perfect European destination... The Erasmus-Socrates Byron, George Eliot, T.S. Eliot, and bed and board, in a charming, and programme was founded in the Ernest Hemingway, among others. quintessential Swiss chalet. This is early 1980’s with the aim of Thus it seemed clear that the town only one of many ski resorts on improving cultural relations had something special to offer. offer in the Lausanne area; one is between the youth of Europe. Other than serving as a writer’s spoiled for choice, with such Under the scheme students from muse, however, I was eager to dis- resorts as Villars, Verbier, and Porte EU countries may choose to spend cover what Lausanne had to offer du Soleil all easily accessible. a semester or year in another the visiting student. Other winter sports to be enjoyed European university. It is hoped So how does include tobogganing, ice-skating, that by doing so students will gain Lausanne, and indeed Switzerland and ice hockey. However, if you do valuable experience, not only aca- rate as an Erasmus destination? In not wish to try your hand at the lat- demically, but culturally and socially as well. So successful has “If you are looking for an exuberant night- been the scheme that it has even life, or high culture, then perhaps Paris or London managed to infiltrate the usually impenetrable Swiss border. Thanks is what you seek, but if you want something a little to a bi-lateral agreement, between calmer, more active and healthy, then you could do Switzerland and the EU, the a lot worse than Lausanne” Erasmus programme now operates between Swiss and EU state uni- many ways Lausanne provides the ter, you can always attend a hockey versities. complete Erasmus package. The match and let the local Lausanne Two years ago University of Lausanne, as well as team show you how it is done. I too chose to partake in the the polytechnical school, E.P.F.L., During warmer weather, Lac Erasmus experience. As a student are high-quality institutions. They Leman is at the heart of sporting of English literature and French, I therefore fulfil the principle activities, with sailing, canoeing, was seeking somewhere in Europe requirement of the Erasmus pro- windsurfing, water-skiing, and where I could both improve my gramme, i.e. the furtherance of the swimming all to be savoured. after 7p.m. The Inter-rail pass is you are a chocoholic then this may and assistance regarding studies, Erasmus is a proficiency in French, and continue student’s academic education. I Hiking is another favourite past another option worth considering if be a mixed blessing. Although you accommodation, residence permits, very individual experience. If you with my English studies. After thoroughly enjoyed my English lit- time during the summer with one wishes to travel both in will adore the delicious mountains etc. Equally important when one are looking for an exuberant night- much reflection, I found myself erature course, and found it to be countless mountain walks on offer Switzerland and further afield. It is of chocolate on offer, your waist- joins a new university is one’s life, or high culture, then perhaps drawn to the Helvetian state. Paris every bit as good as my course in in the region. perhaps best to avail of the Inter- line will not thank you for it. social outlet. Here again the centres Paris or London is what you seek, had become a cliché, Brussels was Trinity. Others that I spoke to, stu- Another Rail pass during the semester break Moving are on hand to help. Throughout but if you want something a little too wet (remember I was coming dents of Arts, Law, and Sciences, advantage of studying in Lausanne, or during the summer holidays. abroad, for whatever length of the year they organise several trips calmer, more active and healthy, from Ireland and wanted to escape all gave positive feedback. or anywhere in Switzerland, is its It is not only time, can be a demanding experi- (most of which are subsidised), then you could do a lot worse than the price of train travel which the Lausanne. It is a charming town, bad weather) and Luxembourg was Studies aside, geographical location. The county “Another advantage of studying in too small. That left French-speak- Lausanne and Switzerland offer is ideally located in the heart of Lausanne Erasmus student will with a young population. ing Switzerland, home of watches, much to the Erasmus student. It is a Europe, allowing easy access to find expensive, the price of living Lausanne, or anywhere in Switzerland, is its geo- Furthermore it is a very safe place cheese and, most importantly, veritable utopia for sports-enthusi- neighbouring France, Italy, in general is very high. The finan- graphical location. The county is ideally located in to live, always re-assuring when cial burden is undoubtedly the one is unfamiliar with a new loca- chocolate - no competition really. asts, with an endless array of activ- Germany, Liechtenstein, and the heart of Europe, allowing easy access to neigh- Once I had made my decision the ities on offer during both the winter Austria. The super-efficient Swiss main disadvantage of studying in tion. I greatly enjoyed my stay in final arrangements were left to and summer seasons. During the train system makes travel all the Lausanne as, like most Swiss bouring France, Italy, Germany, Liechtenstein, and Lausanne and would strongly rec- Trinity. They kindly placed me in winter, even the un-sportiest of stu- more comfortable. Unfortunately, towns, it is expensive. Austria” ommend it as an Erasmus destina- the University of Lausanne, a dents will want to take advantage however, one pays dearly for such Accommodation, although cheaper tion. leading Swiss, and indeed of the near-by Alps. The sports- efficiency, as transport in than in Dublin, is still quite expen- ence. However, moving to soirées and other events, where Those of you European, centre of learning. centre, open to both UNIL and Switzerland is very expensive. It is sive for a town of its size; the town Lausanne, while on Erasmus, is Erasmus and other university stu- who are interested in taking part in As a student of E.P.F.L. students provides week- therefore advisable to avail of the is somewhat larger than Galway generally a very smooth and stress- dents can meet and socialise. One the Erasmus programme in the English I was intrigued to learn that ends away in the Diablerets ski discount tickets on offer, namely city. Other strains on one’s wallet free process. This is mainly thanks really has no excuse for feeling University of Lausanne, or any Lausanne had a history of attract- resort, where for a very reasonable the annual Half-Price card, and for are the price of books, entertain- to the Centres for Student Affairs at lonely or isolated, as the Erasmus other university, should contact ing famous writers to its shore. In fee one receives ski and/or snow- those under 26, the Platform 7 card ment and food, with the exception the University of Lausanne and experience in Lausanne provides your Department’s the past it had played host to Lord boarding instruction, in addition to which enables one to travel for free of chocolate, which is generally E.P.F.L. These centres provide the the opportunity to meet students Erasmus/Socrates coordinator. quite cheap. However, if like me, Erasmus student with useful advice from all over Europe and beyond. The A-Z of careers - Each letter is a Career explained

Although holidays are experience within academic fields vary from around €50 000 to €65 career. But very few people will be cal writers study subjects within longer, and working days are short- will make a candidate more attrac- 000, per annum, with some fields able to sell a sufficient quantity of their field of interest, and require er than in most other careers, there tive. Within scientific fields, it is of specialty obtaining substantially their writing at high enough prices experience either in research or is a lot of preparation required to do essential to publish research or higher wages. Most veterinarians to make writing a viable career for practical application of their stud- the job properly. Pay is usually review articles in widely recog- work in private practice, acting as them. ies. inferior to the commercial manage- nised scientific journals. The ubiq- to diagnose and treat a variety of There is limited employ- rial positions that require equiva- uitous maxim is, “publish or per- domestic species with all sorts of ment in creative writing, which is lent education. Teaching is a career ish”. illness, as well as managing the largely freelance, and involves pro- XYZ for Zoology that can be extremely rewarding to Ireland has several pres- business side of the clinic. ducing a piece of writing with a tar- those whom it suits, and very tax- tigious universities, but with great Entry into a veterinary get audience in mind, and then sell- Zoologists study and care ing for others. ing it to them. Some creative writ- ‘Teachers at the primary and secondary levels pro- for animals of all kinds. For those A successful teacher ers are employed by publishing who have an inherent love of ani- requires excellent communication vide one of the most important services in Irish soci- companies, and commissioned to mals, this may be an ideal career. skills, with particular emphasis on ety. They help children and young adults to develop write regular or periodic pieces for Those zoologists the ability to gauge student under- positive attitudes to work and each other’ distribution by that company. involved in research spend similar standing, and simplify complicated Wages vary greatly, depending on amounts of time researching ani- concepts to a suitable level. There proliferation and saleability of mals in or out of their natural habi- Myles Gutkin returns once more with are many subjects to be taught, so a competition for professorial roles, medicine course is highly competi- writing. tats, and analysing the results of broad understanding of the core it will probably be necessary to tive and the studies are very chal- Non-fiction and technical their study. Graduates of biology or the final part of TN’s A-Z of Careers subjects taught in Irish schools is apply to universities in every coun- lenging, covering a wide range of writing is a field with higher zoology degree courses may find certainly a bonus. Sufficient try you would be willing to live in animals and pathologies. A strong employment opportunities and employment in such labs and S for Soldiering commissioned for around 5 years. knowledge of the English and Irish and find lecturing, tutoring or understanding of biology and more opportunity for stable research teams, but a masters or Wages increase with service, to languages is essential, particularly research posts until positions chemistry is essential as well as employment. The same companies doctorate would be required to lead The actions of military around €40,000. If Officers fail to in primary school where all teach- becomes vacant. good communication skills, both produce scientific, journalistic and such a team. agencies all over the world are serve the entirety of their commis- ers must be fluent in Irish. The pay that most profes- with humans and animals. technical writing regularly and In zoological gardens, watched with more suspicion now sion, they must repay their univer- Secondary teachers sors receive is substantial, but not The field of veterinary many writers are employed to con- zookeepers are employed to care than ever before. It takes loyalty sity costs and the wages they require a bachelor degree in any as high as could be obtained in medicine is a very challenging one, tribute frequently. Writers with a for animals. Maintaining enclo- and confidence in the Irish received while studying. subject, but ideally related to sub- commercial enterprise by expert with a high degree of technical and particular field of expertise are paid sures that replicate each animal’s Government to work in the Irish Military apprenticeships jects they wish to teach, followed consultants, so it’s not a job one scientific knowledge required. It’s more and have greater opportuni- natural environment as much as Defence Force. A military career is are also available, with many trades by a higher diploma in education. does solely for the money. There is a career that will be very rewarding ties to write on related issues. possible, while facilitating their physically challenging and requires to choose from, all of which are Primary school teachers require a great job security, however, with at times, when an animal is cured Writing requires the abil- easy observation by patrons of the strict adherence to an agreed code recognised by FAS. Apprentices bachelor degree in primary educa- very low probability of dismissal. and the owner is grateful, but may ity to express concepts clearly. zoo. of conduct and morality. Some peo- receive training in their chosen tion. Many academics also supplement be very upsetting when animals Creativity, curiosity and self-moti- Government bodies, as ple will find this environment con- trade, as well as military training, their income by becoming involved have to be euthenased, or can’t be vation are important traits for suc- well as industrial and land develop- straining, others will find it liberat- and are assigned to units with in commercial research, practice or saved. cessful writers. Firms that employ ing corporations, employ zoolo- ing. upward mobility upon completion. U for University consultancy. writers appreciate practical writing gists to ensure that habitats are not The Defence Force takes experience, in amateur publications Cadetships are available Professorship illegally destroyed by commercial to those with sufficient Leaving on many university graduates to W for Writing and through voluntary internships. activities such as mining, pollution, Certificate results, by interview. serve in their areas of study. Newly employed writers usually A university professor V for Veterinary practice and clearing. Cadets complete a rigorous 21 Military training will be provided, works with students and with uni- To be a successful zoolo- month training course in the as well as interesting and unusual versity faculty to facilitate the edu- Veterinarians treat the ‘Many people dream of expressing themselves to gist computer skills and the ability Curragh, county Kildare, consist- opportunities to apply learning cation of students, as well as acute and chronic illnesses of to work alone, as well as in inter- ing of three 7 month stages, after under the leadership of experienced masses of understanding and thoughtful readers. research in their field of expertise. domestic animals. Specialists treat disciplinary teams, are needed. which they receive a diploma in personnel. Coupled with the freedom of being self-employed, as A professor is always learning, wild and captive exotic animals. Communication skills are also Military Studies and the rank of through research, study and confer- Because owners become emotion- many writers are, it seems to be the perfect career. essential to convey results and second lieutenant. All Cadets go on ence. It is a varied profession ally attached to companion ani- But very few people will be able to sell a sufficient demand corporate action. to complete a degree, usually at T for Teaching involving individual, group and mals, it can be very rewarding to NUI Galway. Those applying with quantity of their writing at high enough prices to mass communication, usually in help people’s beloved pets. at least a pass in an honours degree Teachers at the primary the role of a leader. Working animals and livestock are make writing a viable career for them.’ will be considered preferentially and secondary levels provide one Professors are experts. In cared for in a more pragmatic way, for Cadetships. begin by doing research and fact of the most important services in order to be competitive in acade- with more consideration for profit, During study Cadets are checking, before moving on to Irish society. They help children mia, a would-be professor will productivity and legal require- Many people dream of paid just under €30,000 and writing or editing. and young adults to develop posi- need a university degree, a doctor- ments. Many vets are also expressing themselves to masses of accommodation at Barracks is sup- Writers usually complete tive attitudes to work and each ate with research in a chosen field employed to care for laboratory understanding and thoughtful read- plied. After completion of the broad arts degrees, with some pre- other, as well as providing them of specialty, and further experience animals undergoing research pro- ers. Coupled with the freedom of degree course, graduating Officers ferring journalism, communica- with a core of knowledge to help in the form of research or applica- cedures. being self-employed, as many writ- are assigned to a military unit and tions or english. Specialised techni- them contextualise their lives. tion in that area. Travel, and varied Salaries for veterinarians ers are, it seems to be the perfect 18 SU & Societies Editor: Enda Hargaden Tuesday November 1, 2005 Trinity News SU & SOCIETIES Starting A Society - The Inside Guide You’ve decided; the college needs a new society. Although there are already 97 other societies in the college you’re con- vinced that there’s a gap in the market for a new one – and you may well be right. This guide contains the six vital steps you should know before you try to set up any society. Having tried (unsuccessfully) to establish a society last year, I shall now grace all ye intrepid folk with the mistakes that are made and the clues that must be learnt for to gain recognition for societies... another debating society. section of the C.S.C. web- Enda Hargaden site. If the constitution is not 2. Recruit some friends acceptable, the society is not 1. Think long, hard, and If at all you can, get your acceptable so exert caution research friends involved. There’s a in its drafting. The constitu- The first thing you really surprising lot of work tion will last beyond your need to do is think long and involved in even getting the stay in college so it cannot hard about your potential necessary signatures, so mention any people or guar- society, which is officially share the load. It’s also far antee any action other than referred to as a Proposed easier to work as a team than the society existing. Be Society: Is it already cov- on your own – and it may vague - if you’re trying to set ered by any other society impress the C.S.C. a bit up a computer gaming soci- currently operating? Would more also. Gather yourself a ety, do not mention playing you truly put the effort in team of helpers and assure PS2’s as your main aim necessary to running such a them it will be a great because as further technolo- society (and it can be an achievement when it’s done. gy develops, you’ll run into awful lot of hard work)? Do constitutional difficulties. you think there’s a demand 3. Contact the secretary for a society like it in the col- The secretary of the C.S.C., 5. Get the signatures lege? Perhaps most impor- currently Christine Bohan, With the constitution written tantly, would it really work? does what she can to aid you should have a very spe- Research what fledgling societies in bring- cific idea about the society you would do. Familiarise ing the motion forward to as a whole. This gives you a yourself with the governing the C.S.C. Executive (Exec). great ability to answer any body of the societies - the Contact her (bohanc@tcd. ie questions people may have Central Societies Committee ) and let her know that you when getting the necessary (C.S.C. see www.csc.tcd.ie) intend to bring this forward one hundred signatures of - who decide which societies and she’ll help you out. By support. Also this prepares receive recognition, which meeting the Secretary, the you for the questions from level of recognition is grant- meeting with the Exec will the Exec and, if accepted, ed, and upon the prerequi- also be less intimidating as recruiting members next sites for acceptance. I sug- you’ll know at least one face Freshers’ Week. gest you have a think about there. Similarly if you con- whether you wish to apply vince her of your merit you 6. Bring it to the Exec for associative recognition The Eliz Rooms, House 6 - The C.S.C. Exec hold their weekly meetings here. may even have a voice for The Executive committee of or go for broke with provi- you on the Exec. the C.S.C. is made up of five more than two people with put forward your proposal, the C.S.C. fully encourage Oftentimes, there Similarly, there can be the potential problems the sional recognition. Make officers and eight ordinary you to the meeting. and sell it to the officers and the creation of societies and is a problem with precedents same problems with soci- C.S.C. may have and pre- sure that you have at least a 4. Write your constitution members, so when you are Crucifiction is a very emo- ordinary members. Expect are thus on your side, but for societies – if the C.S.C. eties dedicated to specific pare suitable answers to fighting chance before you The next step is writing the asked to put forward your tive word these days, but the some difficult questions, and with budgetary constraints it allow a long-overdue Roy geographical regions (e.g. them. If the C.S.C. can see bring yourself to the C.S.C. constitution. There is a very proposal expect to be intimi- C.S.C., by necessity, will do do your best to make it easi- must ensure that funds are Keane Appreciation Society, American society, British no problem with the society, only to be shot down basic constitution which will dated by thirteen people their best to foresee any er for the C.S.C. to accept only spent on suitable soci- where do they draw the line society etc) it will be granted recogni- because it was decided that suffice in the Downloads staring at you. Don’t bring problems. You’ll be asked to the proposal. Bear in mind eties. with appreciation societies? Try to expect any tion. the college doesn’t need Class Reps Elected Is SU Council Students’ Union Education Officer Dónal McCormack hopeful for future as class reps' elections most contested in years Twenty-five counts later, the election night for the representatives of each subject in each undergraduate year (class reps) to the Students’ Union (SU) ended on Wednesday 26th October. It had been the most contested class rep election in years, with twice as many contested elections as last year. TCDSU Education Officer Dónal McCormack is delighted with the increased participation, as this worthwhile? is one of the most contested class reps election in living-memory. With three of the six Students’ Union Council meetings deemed inquorate last year with less than fifty class reps in attendance, Dónal is hopeful that it this will not happen again this year with the increase in class rep participation. Christine Bohan on how SU Council can be Out of the 281 class-rep positions available, over one hundred were filled by default as there were not a surplus of nominations for all class positions. However, this has left approximately 135 vacant positions for class rep, those without a single nomination. This is surely a cause for concern as there was no stated inter- both the best (and worst) thing about the est in half the positions available Another point of contention this year was that many students felt there was not enough promotion for the nominees and several expressed surprise that the ballot boxes were open last Tuesday and Wednesday; Students’ Union... the general impression was that the elections were being held later on in the year. Dónal McCormack respond- ed to criticisms over lack of promotion by stating that over one hundred posters were placed on campus on Here’s something for you to do sidestep the question and assure come up with after their hours of motions brought forward. Each Tuesday night, and that all candidates were requested to promote the elections. this Friday. Go up to your class the rep that they too are angry spent in committee meetings. motion was passed easily, with The election results for the contested positions for this year are: rep (if you’re in one of the classes about the issue and will do all They are usually very very wor- no-one speaking against them and lucky enough to have one) and they can to sort it out. A first-time thy and very very dull. almost everyone voting in favour. Social and Human Science ask them what they thought of the rep, wishing to establish himself All of this takes up a Whether it was because the reps JF BESS: R. Sparks, M. Swan, H. Allen, E. Moore first SU Council of the year, as the alpha among his new best surprising amount of time. Often at the time were an agreeable JF Law: A. Dai, D McHugh which took place the night before. friends, will ask a complicated it can be supplemented by things bunch or simply because the JF Phil Pol: C. O’Broin Chances are that they’ll question, wrapped up in sub- like elections to various commit- motions were so inoffensive as to JF Sociology & Social Policy: J. Halpenny remember anything particularly clauses, the gist of which will be tees or vacant positions on the not warrant opposition is debat- SF Business: V. Benishev funny that any of the reps said. that he is very very clever. The Executive Committee. Finally able. SF Economics: R. Kearns Maybe any bitching or bickering Officer will pat him on the head though, we get to the good bit. Finally we have SF Political Science: K. Lynch that took place between any of for being a good rep and deflect Motions. This is the T & A of Officers’ Reports, where the five SF Sociology: C. Sheehy the speakers. If there were any the question. Council. A couple of interesting Officers er, report on what SS Law: G. Mellon, N. Clayton interesting motions, like maybe a Motions can transform even the they’ve been doing, with the proposal to applaud every time ‘Council can be the dullest Council into one that will occasional member of Exec pip- Engineering and System Sciences the SU President walks into a most lively and be talked about for days after- ing up. Exec are the mini-me SU JF Computer Science: R. Burke room or something similarly wards, by people to whom this Officers, with Officers for such involving part of the JF Engineering: J Greavey, J Kinsella, N Reynolds ridiculous (or worthy and appro- kind of thing matters. Motions are briefs as LGBT, Disability, JF MEMS: S. McNamee priate, depending on your point of SU - but it can also suggestions put forward by class Environmental and Ethical SF Enginerring: A. Wall, C. Curley, D. Macken view), then that will probably reps or members of the Exec on Trading and International be the most disheart- JS C/CD/D: C. Berry have stuck too. But the technical action or policies that should be Students. Some Exec members JS Mechanical Engineering: A. Corrigan parts of the evening, the nitty- ening and boring adopted by the Union. They give will report on what they’ve been SS Mechanical Engineering: T. A. McGuinn gritty bits are unlikely to have part...’ an idea of the direction that the doing several times a year. Some stuck. Union will be going in. and of the of them won’t even attend many Arts and Humanities: This is because whilst Next up is discussion level of participation of class Councils. It’s always a mixed JF European Studies: E. Tihomirova SU Council can be the most live- papers. These are ideas and sug- reps. Last year for example, the bag. Any Other Business draws SF Music/Music Education: A. Ní Laoire ly, interesting and involving part gestions that the Officers have first two Councils saw a number Council to a close. JS History: U. Faulkner of being a class rep, it can also be There are variants on the most disheartening, depress- this, but this is how the majority Science ing and quite frankly boring part of SU Councils come to pass. JF Science: C. Reilly, M Giblin, L. Fogarty, F. of the whole Students’ Union. And so for every time that you Hanrahan A typical Council runs come out of Council feeling that JF Theoretical Physics: M. Nyhan like this. It starts with questions something worthwhile was SF Mathematics: C. Dolan for the Officers - anyone who has achieved, there’s the time when JS Biochemistry & Immunology: N. Scanlan anything that they need to get off you feel like you’ve lost two pre- JS Medicinal Chemistry: L. Coady their chest can ask the President, cious hours of your life and you Deputy Pres, Education, Welfare really want them back. The first Health Sciences or Ents Officers a question. The Council this Thursday will set the JF Dental Science: E. Finnegan first question is usually an angry tone for the year - a full report one, asked by someone who is will follow in the next edition, but The election of the JF Engineering rep caused the quite angry and has been angry until then it will be interesting to most controversy of the evening as the Electoral all week, and wants to tell every- whether it breaks from this mould Commission witheld the result of the election pend- Students casting their ballots in the recent elections one just how angry they are. The in any way. ing investigations into improper conduct by one of Photo: Enda Hargaden Officer in question will neatly the candidates. However no irregularities were found and the result stood.

The details of the non-contested class rep positions are available from the Students’ Union website. If you’re Apologies to John Kealy, Chairman of DURNS , who was not credited for taking the photograph of Dónal McCormack that interested in being a class rep, call Dónal on 01-6468439, or follow the signs up to his office in House 6. appeared on this page in the last edition of TN. Comment & Opinion Editor: Patricia van de Velde Tuesday November 1, 2005 19 Trinity News COMMENT& OPINION Putting the “Hip” back in hypnotism Do it for the Kids Derek Owens education grant system’s failure to meet enter third-level education is not a gen- the additional costs of attending universi- uine sacrifice, or even a lifestyle choice. Nicolas Kelly When the PD’s defend a law tooth and ty, both these barriers to ‘education for More than ever, we went to college nail, we can safely assume it’s a sinister all’ have grown. A registration fee because it was simply the thing to do. A hypnotist robber has measure designed to eviscerate the pro- increase is now a yearly occurrence, For disadvantaged students, there are still forced bank bosses to warn letariat, launch ethnic minorities off to while inflation has taken greedy bites out substantial barriers, plus a swarm of tellers not to look customers the moon, or keep under-26’s locked up of the real value of the grant. Any com- middle-classers armed with a sense of in the eye. The man has in small chicken-wire cages. So three plaint about this is (understandably) con- obligation to ‘do something’ in College years ago, when the Progressive sidered whinging – after all, look how and every advantage at secondary school struck at a number of banks Sociopaths threatened to pull out of gov- much money is already spent on stu- level. in Moldova, using his hyp- ernment over Noel Dempsey’s wild plan dents! Laudable schemes like the Trinity notic powers to put staff in a to scrap ‘free fees’ (my inner pedant The problem, as Dempsey said back Access Program, which helps less trance and make them hand screams “the Higher Education Fee in the day, is that this money is spent on advantaged students enter College, do Remission Scheme”) our world was over large sums of money. disadvantaged and coddled students exist. The difficulty experienced by non- turned upside down. We were inconse- alike. While wasteful spending is hardly middle-classers, though, is such that Police say they believe the quential, non-D4-dwelling, students, and out of character for Irish Governments, 15% of places in Trinity College will criminal is a trained hypno- had bleated frantically against there are few areas where spending has soon be saved for ‘non traditional’ stu- tist from Russia. He leaves Dempsey’s plans for the best part of 6 been so useless, even destructive. Those dents, including mature and disadvan- the workers with no memo- months, but to no avail. For some reason who can afford to invest heavily in their taged students. When the CAO system though, McDowell et al deigned to ride children’s education, freed from the has to be distorted in this way, surely that ry of handing him the to our rescue, ambushing and butchering shadow of university tuition fees, pack says something about severe inequalities money. Officers, who are the plan within a week. their Celtic Tiger cubs off to private in the education system as a whole. still looking for the man, You have to admire the way they schools, or worse, the Institute of Indeed the Access Program’s very exis- said he took more than work, but it threw our political compass Education (more of a crash-course in tence surely shows how the Fee into chaos. If PD = evil, and ‘Free Fees’ £20,000 in his last robbery. jumping through the hoops necessary for Remission Scheme has failed in its pur- = good, how can PD save ‘free fees’? College admission). Meanwhile, even pose, to open third-level education to all Could it be that PD = good(ish)? Three the top non-fee-paying schools now Irish people. The Remission Scheme has A spectre is haunting Europe – the Cartoon by Micheal Church subsequent years of proletariat-eviscera- struggle to fill their classes, as reports in largely perpetuated and exacerbated spectre of hypnotism. Far more tion, the imminent launch of Ireland’s the last few weeks show. So our educa- inequalities in our education system, as der into unwillingly making com- gone unremembered by innocent faulty ballots, the true cause was fearsome than some sniffling and first rocket (marked ‘Deportation I’), and tional class divide, rather than being well as being a major drain on the plete fools out of themselves, to girls asked the question, “Have malevolent hypnotism (Bush has feverish migratory fowl is the the sinister sound of chicken-wire cages minimized by government subsidies, has Education Department’s budget that pre- the delight of their friends and you ever been hypnotized?” Only long-standing ties to the HYP- already-present scourge of the in construction blow that theory out of been aggravated by them. The upper-to- vents these inequalities being addressed. enemies. Certainly, the image of one entity knows—the HYP- NOTICON). These elderly people dark hypnotic arts and those who the water. So then we’re left with the middle classes are able to stay in private Adequate government funding directed two kangaroos humping each NOTICON. And even they prob- are exposed to hypnotists at an command them. Today’s hypno- devastating possibility that ‘Free Fees’ = schools, leaving state-run schooling to towards schemes like the Access other in the wild is to be appreci- ably only have a ballpark figure. alarming rate, as a cheap enter- tist has shed the unkempt eye- bad. Rather than abandoning our nice everyone else. Program, or the long-neglected Higher ated as a shining link in the circle Yes, though it endangers tainment in nursing homes and brows, German accent and swing- black and white formulae, accepting Think about it too – where are the Education Grant, would do far more to of life. But when two male col- my life and significantly raises the retirement communities as well as ing pocket-watch that for cen- ‘shades of grey’ (anathema, as we all best teachers likely to go? Freshly quali- make our education system fairer. So lege students engage in a gross odds that any snapped finger I am on the cruise ship vacations they turies made him so recognizable know, to student politics) we have to fied teachers largely prefer working in when Noel Dempsey challenged our parody of this natural love, noth- in proximity to will make me act are constantly taking. and thus avoidable. Though his allow the unthinkable, and ask whether subsidised private schools (with all the cosy ‘free fees = good’ equation, calling ing is to be gained from it except like a chicken, I dare to bring the The Tom Cruise and currently favored get-up—dark the Fee Remission Scheme really has perks and extra-curricular earnings & for a radical review of the situation, sore quadriceps and some poten- existence of the super-secret steer- Katie Holmes Mystery. As any- patterned shirt with a few too helped education in Ireland. grinds to be had) rather than ministering maybe it was slightly unfair of 10,000 tially serious chafeage. As the stu- ing committee of the world’s hyp- one who has seen the film many buttons undone to reveal a The scheme, introduced by Niamh to the economically disadvantaged. self-interested students to march down to dent who was under the impres- notist community to light. Ever Magnolia can attest, Tom Cruise gold chain resting on a bristly Bhreathnach (a Labour minister for More eager applicants to a position bring government buildings chanting sion that he had just been exten- since the first hypnotist of has the piercing-yet-unintelligent patch of chest hair—is instinctive- Education, therefore good, right?) was (you guessed it) a higher standard of ‘Dempsey is a wanker’. We would have Mesopotamia enchanted his eyes and dark greasy hair that are ly off-putting, it does little to dis- designed to open up the doors of 3rd- employee hired. To abandon manager- done well to see shades of grey. Or at ‘Tom Cruise has the friends and neighbors by swinging the hallmarks of the modern hyp- tinguish him from most other mid- level education to everyone by eradicat- speak, that means the best teachers will least check our math. a lump of clay back and forth from notist. dle-aged men that the Trinity piercing yet unintelli- ing its cost. It has singularly failed in that increasingly gravitate towards private the end of a vine, the HYPNOTI- What can we do? The News readership might encounter purpose. Aside from the lingering exis- schools. gent eyes that are the CON has controlled the geopoliti- current situation in Moldova is on a night out. Indeed, the tence of a registration fee, as well the So with a higher standard of second- cal meddlings of their sinister con- especially tragic, as St. grounds of our dear college have hallmarks of the mod- rd ary education and a fee-free route into stituency of magic school Krysgzywkzki expelled all hypno- impenetrable and inadequate 3 level already been contaminated by one ern hypnotist...’ college, the middle class decision to of these predatory mind-snatchers. dropouts. The have played a tists from this proud republic in Some crypto-hypno secret part in innumerable world the fifth century. In the absence of within the Student Union arranged sively defecated on by a monkey events. Even today they continue any modern saints who can actual- for a hypnotist’s show as one of so poignantly expressed, “I know to shape the path of history. ly do anything magical, we must the evening entertainments at the it’s funny, but not when it’s hap- Consider these two example. look to our own ingenuity to rid Power For Dummies Buttery during Freshers’ Week. pening to you!” As the strip The Illegitimate Bush the world of this blight. This With the aid of a music program- sequences by both males and Election of 2000. In the post-elec- writer suggests the creation of a mer, the patented hypnotist’s females clearly displayed, the tion contest over Florida, much worldwide hypnotist tournament brand of charismatic sleaze and hypnotist is not afraid to involve was made of the fact that heavily to be held on an isolated tropical Part 2: Rules, Ghouls, and other Fools his soul-bought command of the himself or his zombified play- Jewish, older and liberal counties island. Once every hypnotist got innocent mind, he quickly went to things in activities sexual. Who voted for right-wing kook, Patrick there we could just leave with all work manipulating his latest fod- knows how much groping has Buchanan. While most pointed to the boats! Derek Owens’ fortnightly update on seizing power from the great unwashed Ok. So this ‘power’ malarkey may be tougher than I a bit more hassle is the claim that no campaigning shall thought. Since deciding to put up a candidate for each take place in advance of a set ‘campaigning period’. So Student Union sabbatical election in March, I’ve been is this column shamelessly flouting this rule? Now if I on a bit of a recruiting drive, trying to rope friends and remember correctly, a fair few hopefuls last year man- Dublin goes Metro enemies into my scheme. Most of them have respond- aged to get their faces in Trinity News, or even write a ed with benign indifference, which isn’t particularly few articles, long before officially ‘campaigning’. encouraging. Last weekend though, one prospective Besides, self-indulgent rants in the comment pages of candidate reacted to my plan (explained at that fine TN could hardly be calculated to win over voters. It all celebrity interview to snippets of of news by the snappy 20-minute is every bit as competent in the post-pub-eatery, ‘Ricks’, with well-lubricated enthusi- seems fairly open to interpretation. The rule that ‘no Niamh Fleming- international news, sport and triv- read. I hate being bothered in the free morning headlines depart- asm) with horror. After looking at me as if I’d spat out candidate may receive sponsorship’ or help from ‘any ia. Metro was first launched in morning, but these oppositions ment. It certainly seems reac- Farrell my double-greaseburger in my eagerness, he simply internal or external organisation’ is similarly hazy. Sweden ten years ago and is now ring on deaf ears. Metro employs tionary and the content certainly The mornings may now be cold muttered “you can’t do that,” before returning to Here, though, we’re on steady ground: Calling me available daily in 57 cities across an editorial staff of 35 in Ireland has not a patch on Metro. I’ll and dull but the streets of Dublin munch on what we both hoped was a lamb kebab. Why organised, let alone an organisation, is giving me far 18 countries. Metro’s success is and a further 115 human distribu- leave you to work out just how become increasingly animated. not? “Because it’s unconstitutional!” he cried. too much credit. readily demonstrated in the UK tion units. Sure, maybe Metro is dumbed down that makes Herald Since last issue the vitality of the A short, slightly irrelevant note here: It’s So my kebab-spewing friend seems to be where, since it was launched in just a vehicle for the ingestion and AM. Even the red windcheaters charity worker - and my aggrava- physically impossible to shout ‘unconstitutional’ with wrong. There’s no rule specifically against the ‘power: 1999, has grown to be the fourth defecation of batch after batch of of its distributors are cheaper than tion by this - has been surpassed your mouth full, and not spray food in all directions. for dummies’ project, and any rules I could be nailed largest national daily. Distributed Media Studies graduates, but we Metro’s uniforms. only by the throngs of newspaper Try it yourself. Not in front of someone you like under are hardly cut-and-dry. But who interprets these easily to commuters from dump have to do something with them And while it is obvious peddlers turning the inner city into though. rules? Well, the pages yanked from the website are bins at tube stations Metro has, don’t we? And yes, handing out that the newspapermen really, a sea of red, blue and newspaper After a brisk facial wipe-down, I enquired peppered with so many references to the ‘EC’, you’d according to Rupert Murdoch, papers between 6.30am and 10am truly care about these two ven- ink. further. “Well, that kind of thing may not be, you be forgiven for thinking that an outdated version of the succeeded in taking 40,000 read- may well be defined as a true tures it is decidedly less obvious Ah yes, Metro has hit know, in the constitution,” he eventually conceded, European Union was once again standing in the way of ers from The Sun. So it is of little Douglas Coupland “McJob”, but that Dubliners give the faintest the city simultaneously with the “but it’s definitely against the rules.” Now, I’ve always Irish enterprise. No such luck. The Electoral wonder that its launch here was again who are we to scorn paid damn. If the paper people hung up Independent Group’s new creation distrusted ‘rules’. They tend to exist primarily for Commission, to give the ‘EC’ it’s full name, are the greeted with anxiety within the employment? I am a leeching stu- their blue bags and left the streets Herald AM. bespectacled, knowledgeable, people to get their own veritable Stormtroopers of the Students’ Union, keep- media world. dent after all. would anyone bother to independ- Over the past two weeks way. Think about it: Isn’t it true that the more arcane ing control over the feeding frenzy for CV-padding Metro does exactly ently pick up either paper? Would it has been interesting, if not ‘It has been inter- and implausible a rule is, the more eerily it tends to suit positions with ghoulish glee. They are the Union’s what it says on the tin. It targets we even note the absence of the enjoyable, to watch the evolution the person vigorously asserting its existence? Having defenders. They know (or at least pretend to know) all esting, if not enjoy- young urbanites, financially com- “free Metro”, “Herald AM” cho- of the free paper force in Dublin. no spectacles, and being a bad liar, rules are rarely of the rules. I’ll bet they even wear glasses, and are bril- fortable but time deficient. It rus? We don’t have the same sub- A far cry from the cap-donning any use to me. In fact, they are bitter enemies, thwart- liant liars. able to watch the gives them the headlines, the way culture as London or the “extra, extra” boys of yore, this ing me at every turn. Not this time though. If this thing is going to happen then not only sport, the gossip all in a snappy countless other European cities loud, rainproof-jacketed lot began evolution of the Machiavelli, patron saint of this project, says to know do my crack team have to win over 15,000 odd stu- Metro moment, or in Dublin’s where freesheets have succeeded on October 10th by rather politely your enemy well. Time to set about looking at these dents, we also have to win over this lot. So from now free paper force in case a “bus crawl” moment. Yes, in acquiring large percentages of gesturing their respective papers pesky ‘rules’. on I’ll be aggressively finding, wining and winning the target circulation of 50,000 market share. The DART line in your direction. Some hands Dublin’ Four pages of them are handily available on the over the ghouls of the Electoral Commission. Not to does pose a litter worry but this alone is hardly enough to sustain reached out and made contact with Student Union website, covering just about every mentiono fidning me real candidates. Wish me luck. Associated Press are the morning I did spot, amid the red two papers. And bus stops are apt curiosity and others remained aspect of an election – if all Irish elections were this major force behind Metro with a and blue, a young yellow-jacketed hardly ideal distribution points. swinging as their owners brushed straight, Fianna Fáil wouldn’t have a hope. In fact, 90% stake in the paper. Metro man with ‘Metro Recycling’ writ- Are Metro and the Herald AM past. As the days passed however Fianna Fáil, the Greens, and the Shinners would be in International and the Irish Times ten on him. I presume he takes destined to go rapidly the way of the polite atmosphere dissipated. some difficulty – the centralised printing system that hold the remaining shares. Many your paper away from you again. the Dublin Daily? Will Metro Whether the competition betwixt the Union uses only allows for Blue, Red, Yellow, consider the involvement of the Perhaps to wittily redistribute it. manage to stimulate the support to the two papers rose or the increase Purple and Green posters and flyers, and even then Irish Times in the Metro venture a Metro is up with the times after retain its 115 strong distribution in paper-pushing animation was only one shade of each. Two of those parties would smooth marketing ploy, adding all. Although, despite enthusiasm army? While not quite my morn- born purely of chill combating probably have to disband. Would that be such a bad credibility to the free daily. It may for its first weeks, how well Metro ing coffee choice I suspect it’s in pragmatism, the paper people thing? also go a ways in explaining the will do here remains to be seen. with a shot. On the other hand I began performing, adding to But I digress. Colour isn’t a major issue at eagerness of Independent News Herald AM on the other think that Independent News and Dublin’s increasingly imposing the moment. In fact, there aren’t that many major and Media to launch a rival free hand seems more of a teaser paper Media will have to take the street theatre. Turning, tilting and issues at all – the rules are largely to stop eager hacks daily. Indeed, it took a High Court designed to boost the sales of the younger sibling home to bed and each with his/her own action, from bothering people and littering up the place. Three injunction to prevent the title Evening Herald, the thicker and save their energies for socialising accent and attitude they entice the clauses may be a mite tricky though. Firstly, they seem Metro being used for the mini-me juicer tabloid, than a real freesheet the older, steadier and well sup- public to take the thin tabloid from set on banning gifts ‘or items that could be construed Herald free sheet (hence launched competitor. The Herald AM is the ported Evening Herald. Me? I their hands. I walk with my Metro as gifts’ from the elections, and setting a spending cap The Big “Mac” knows his enemy well: but as Herald AM). The Irish starter that leaves you salivating merely wonder what will be next flapped open, raised shield-like in on each candidate. Fair enough, although it does scup- is he underestimating the greaseburger? Examiner pegged the dual launch for the main course, but it defi- to provoke my growing pedestrian front of my face, reading the 60 per my ‘lollipops for votes scheme’. What may cause second interview while hoping to of the papers as the beginning of a nitely isn’t the ham (despite its rage. simultaneously weave my way in new “media war”. And morning name) in any sandwich. It will be and out between the twenty or so disturbances aside, I think it safe interesting to see if the launch of Comments, Tips, Hate-mail to: people offering me copies of the money to back Metro emerging the free Herald baby does indeed paper I already possess. victorious. correlate to an increase in Evening [email protected] Irritation aside, it’s not Sure, people will com- Herald sales. Or is the petulant lit- such a bad paper you know, this plain that Metro contributes to lit- tle sister paper simply Metro. The cover carries the latest tering and wastes paper. The Independent News and Media’s headlines and the interior offers usual pedants at indymedia will way of demonstrating to the Irish Please feel free to send comment or opinion articles to everything from the sixty-second drone on about the dumbing down Times and Associated Press that it the same address. 20 Comment and Opinion Editor: Patricia van de Velde Tuesday November 1 2005 COMMENT& OPINION Trinity News Me versus the Smoking Fascists Trinity News Smoking is banned, but my fire remains - Gawda Lyde resists prejudice I’ve done a great many stupid things in my life, but ple sometimes come outside with me just to continue a ly interesting. You probably won’t be surprised to hear Archive possibly the stupidest was to start smoking. And I conversation. To these people, a great big thank you. that our relationship has degraded since then. mean, go past the stage where you’re actually not sure Not for sparing me many colds last year, or choosing to A friend of mine sighed to me, as we were you like it and past the stage where you smoke only converse with me, but for not allowing the stigma of puffing away outside a Trinity building, that cigarettes Comment, November socially. I sometimes wake up in the morning wanting the smoker weigh on who I am. I’m a good person, just were such a lifesaver. In the interests of journalism I a cigarette. Cigarettes get me out of bed, and the possi- stupid for smoking, and unfortunately duped by ciga- enquired a little further (normally I just grunt back at 27th 1969 by Sheena ble combination of a very strong cup of coffee with a rette companies. There are the other types. My ex is the her); she looked at me as if I were stupid (duh, I smoke) nicotine fix has me knocking the alarm clock back to over-arching guru of these types . Last summer when I and carefully elaborated that you always had some- Greenwich Mean Time. I sometimes like to think that I was visiting him, he actually had the nerve to develop thing to do. Smokers are never really bored. Upon Crummie am lucky: my addictions make me the only person I an allergy to me. Not the cigarette smoke (because I which she stubbed out her cancer-stick and lit another. The illegal immigrants into Trinity are still struggling know who never sleeps in, and pretty much has the best very carefully refrained from smoking in his presence), I wish I could pull off bull with such panache. for legitimacy. The Laurentian Society was founded in head start on the day. Ok, who am I kidding - my flat but to me. Me as a smoker. Apparently I have fumes, In all seriousness I do understand why a stinks of smoke, I’m always smoker can be a pain. The smell really isn’t 1953 as a social society for the 200 odd Roman broke, smoking outside of bars nice and quite a few people even point out Catholics attending Trinity. Now the number of in the rain does not have any that the long term effects of smoking affect Catholics has increased to over a third of the student New York glamour to it and them as a tax payer. Well, smelly boys smell body, and the Laurentian Society has undergone a yes, I was aware that smoking too. And although, I sometimes wish my complete change to accommodate the increasing num- gives you lung cancer. So, you friend the smelly boy would consider my may say, what’s the problem? nostrils and his hygiene a bit more, one ber of Catholics, and to cope with the problems creat- Is this just going to be another never actually points this out, or wrinkles a ed by the still existing ban on Irish Catholics in TCD. rant at the smoking ban, or on nose in disdain. Reckless people, sexually The first statement banning the Irish Roman the evils of cigarette? The promiscuous people, as well as the plain Catholics form Trinity, contained in the Maynooth problem is the non-smokers. unlucky people also eventually clog up the Statutes of 1995, has been stringently enforced by Dr. I don’t mind going health services of the state, but again we outside for a smoke in bars, I don’t constantly point this out. John Charles McQuaid, who became Archbishop of don’t mind smoking outside What I’m asking for is a little Dublin in 1944. The ban states that Catholics commit full stop, and I fully realise the respect, a little dignity, and maybe the a grave sin of disobedience if they attend a non implication of second hand thought that I’m trying to quit and a light for Catholic University, as the latter represents a grave smoke and that there is as the road would be appreciated. There are danger to their faith and morals. What it means, in much lung cancer from passive quite a few of us out there, trying to quit, smoking as from actual smok- failing miserably and just getting through effect is that Roman Cathlics entering Trinity College ing. I never smoke around peo- the day with this crutch. I’m not asking to without the permission of the Hierarchy are “living in ple who mind or who resent the smoke inside, nor am I asking you to con- sin”. smoke. So why the looks? done smoking, all I’m asking is not to be Therefore they are not supposed to attend Why the constant disgust at me judged. So next time you see me puffing out- Trinity, Irish Catholics are actually ignoed by the ruining my lungs? That’s my side the Arts Block why don’t you, instead business, thanks for caring, I am aware of how stupid I and all my pores ooze out some disgusting noxious- of pitying me and glancing with revulsion at what I’m Hierarchy. According to Gus Mac Amhlaigh, the am but I have an addiction. ness. He actually managed to become bleary-eyed, inflicting on my lungs, say “ Hey man, I know you can Chairman of the Society, their immediate aim is to Many people are not of course in this catego- have a runny nose, and generally cough in my direc- do it. Quitting’s never easy but you’re doing great. And gain recognition by the Hierarchy of the Irish Roman ry; my non-smoking flatmate last year very generously tion. I refused to grant his petty cold any more status here’s a piece of chewing gum for the road.” Catholics and to receive a resident Roman Catholic allowed me to smoke in the living room, and some peo- than that of a petty cold, but his methods were definite- Dean. He, on behalf of the society, rngaged in fre- quent correspondence with the relevant authority on this subject, but has received an uncompromising “no”. No to negotiating To support his demands for a resident Dean, Gus quotes a phrase from the Second Vatican Council relating to education. “ Non-Catholic Universities Trish van must have a suitably trained chaplain on the campus de Velde on a full-time basis.” At the moment Irish Catholic students wishing to attend University in Dublin are directed to the Everyone knows that we don’t National University, or UCD, as it is better known. negotiate with terrorists. So since when have we started doing just A parallel situation existed in Montreal where that? There is much controversy Catholic students were forbidden to attend Magill about the release of Rory O’Carroll University and were obliged to go to La Salle, a from Iraqi insurgents, and although it is claimed that his release was catholic University, but since the Vatican Council, not due to any concessions from Cardinal Leger of Montreal has abolished this law. the Iraqi government or the Irish At the moment, the only religious facility one for that matter, it remains in doubt what the exact swap was for offered to Irish Roman Catholics students at Trinity is his life. It has been written that the the services of Fr. McMahon, of the Presbytery, release of two prisoners in Basra Westland Row. On seeking an interview with him at clinched his return to safety but in my books that’s still blackmail. the beginning of College year, his housekeeper told us Why would a hostage suddenly be that he had departed for his holidays on the opening released? Because the bad terror- institution (the state) to resolve our but also maybe that violence in any day of term and would be away for three weeks. She ists repented? As much as I am political differences to avoid a con- way part of the negotiation process thankful for any spared life, I can’t stant state of war (state of (even in the early beginnings) sets was asked what Chaplain was made available to help but feel unease at the fact that nature).To override that as terror- precedence for those methods to Trinity students in the meantime, and replied “none”. some form of concession must ism does, is to negate that we need work. Father McMahon is full-time priest of a large have been made at some level. a state at all, and that illegitimate On a different level, ter- Ok so maybe we didn’t violence works. rorism has, post 9-11 become such parish in which TCD is geographically situated. exactly negotiate with the terror- The nature of terrorism a widespread and scary phenome- Because Catholics attending TCD live within the ists, but there was definitely some precludes negotiation as a funda- non because it has no face (who are boundaries of his parish he is obliged to minister to understanding, some deal, some mental. However we may have you negotiating with?), and no quid pro quo, some give and take, overlooked that. Terrorism can be message except hatred (what’s on them if called upon to do so, but he is forbidden by some: “yes your freaky conditions the ultimate cry of the unheard and the negotiating table?). Maybe ter- Political Rip-Offs his superiors to enter College; the students must come undermining stability will be taken unhappy, or the ultimate weapon rorism in the past was something to him. The ban must be enforced! into account because we give into for obscure and dangerous ends. that could eventually be dealt with the fact that you are holding some- Either way, terrorism as we gener- in some form of dialogue, and just Liam Connors Politicians and the web don't mix. Just a few weeks ago the Irish Independent broke the story of the €3 million of one innocent of political impor- ally define it is the illegitimate use hope that the outcome would be so taxpayers money spent on a 'website that never existed', despite former Health Minister Micheál Martin spending many long nights at his computer with tance hostage…oh and yes, we of force. It can be in the form of a satisfactory that violence was not his Dummies guide to HTML and a copy of FrontPage 98. Now Ms Harney will have to clean up his mess and clean it up she will. Lets hope she does- know this is setting some sort of freedom fighter, or the fundamen- part of it anymore, but today, this n’t get any help from the youth wing of her party who ,despite being overrun by hundreds of actuary studying computer nerds didn't have the know how precedence for your creepy meth- talist who irrationally resents all isn’t and cannot be the case. to renew their domain name back in 2004 and ended up having their beloved youngpds.org being redirected, ironically enough, to the left-wing indy- ods to work”. I just laid that out in that western society stands for. Terrorism makes no demands, has media.ie site. lay-man. Terrorism is “abominable means no ideology except hatred and to But of course these are technical issues, nothing pumping more money in or threatening legal action won’t solve. This action won’t work for Call me a cold-hearted used by political fanatics for con- even begin to give in is to ask for Fine Gael’s disastrous ripoff.ie website however. While visually the site is stunning and should definitely win whatever the Internet equivalent of an conservative, with a taste for bad temptible ends” as a rather large anarchy. If we are to build a safer Academy Award is, the content is just a little on the poor side.The best part of the site has to be the 'Your Stories' section as this gives an insight as to political movies in which the good statement, but can it lead to dia- world, and a peaceful world, we what is troubling your average Fine Gael voter. 'We have received reports of a Crunchie bar being sold for 85c in Sandyford, Dublin' goes the site. I am guys always win, (remember that logue? History has proved that it must not give in to the short term, aware that Enda Kenny probably knows much more about Crunchie bars than me but I would have thought in or around 85 cent would be the norm. great film with Harrison Ford when can - one need only look at which is placating them and trying Some of the examples on the site seem just a little unbelievable. The site notes that the price of a packet of 30 aspirin tablets varies from just Air Force One is swamped with Northern Ireland or the Palestinian to save more lives. This may sound 27 cents in Gorey to a whopping €3.08 in a pharmacy in Tallaght. This along with the story of a rug bought for €708 in a city store was seen on sale terrorists and he’s all sexy strong National Authority (PNA). But harsh, but a life for a thousand in the suburbs for €530 would seem to be saying 'Shop Around'. Now where did I hear that advice before? Enda and his pals also don't seem to under- guy and no negotiating and then let’s take a closer look, the founda- more, with a principle and a strong stand the concept of taxation. He notes one 'visitor paid €19,000 for his new car. Later, his kind friend emailed him a link to a German car dealer who saves the day?) but you know I’m tions of these negotiations lay on message may be worth it. I don’t was charging €10,500 for the same vehicle'. right. What I haven’t given you, of atrocious acts of violence which know, I haven’t been faced with As Eddie Hobbs pointed out in his 'Rip off Republic' series the reason for high car prices in this country is the high level of VRT. As Hobbs course, is what to do to save inno- coerced the states involved in these this decision but to paraphrase a demonstrated, even going abroad to buy the car wouldn't save money as the VRT would have to be paid when the car is returned to Ireland. When cent lives without giving into ter- conflicts to immediate concessions. great believer of strong diplomacy: Seamus Brennan suggested on a recent edition of Questions and Answers that a government headed by Fine Gael wouldn't reduce VRT, Enda couldn't rorism in situations like these. But Sadly enough, the violent founda- “What a wuss. Real men smoke’em give any definite answer. And of course VRT would have to remain as it is one of the largest sources of income for the state so I wonder, what exactly what I can give you is, besides a tions of these dialogues make vio- out, they don’t parlay”. is Fine Gael’s problem with this scenario? And why does it merit a mention on their website? The website points out 'From the cost of seeing a doctor rather simplistic break down of lence still a tool used by those to the cost of having a credit card this Government is the main reason why we all live in rip off Ireland. Foolish you if you thought that the Doctor or why this is negotiating which is involved in the peace processes. the bank were to blame’. But maybe ripoff.ie is referring to the €40 stamp duty which was introduced by former minister for Finance Charlie McCreevy. hardly helpful, is exactly why we The IRA may be disarming, but If this is the case it would appear Fine Gael’s plans for government are to get rid of this disgraceful charge which translates to approximately 47 Crunchie should keep believing that terror- resorting to violence in Northern bars even at Dublin prices. Fine Gael are partially correct however in saying this government is the main reason why we live in a ‘Rip off Republic’. ism can’t work. And not doesn’t, or Ireland is still common.The PNA His annoyance at the increase in the RTE license fee is justified as it is squandered on talent shows such as ‘You’re a Star’ and non-talent such as Eddie won’t. It can’t work, because soci- may not be a terrorist group any- Hobbs. ety and order is based on the fact more, but more violent branches of This government is also responsible for increases in salaries which mean Enda Kenny receives a whopping €87,247 for his services as a TD that we do not give into anarchical the movement regularly cause vio- which means he can surely afford the whopping €3.08 charged for aspirin in Tallaght. If the public would just stop heaping praise on Eddie Hobbs and instincts to take the law into our lence and undermine real peace would adopt Irish Ferries style tactics in electing their TD's (thereby replacing Enda Kenny with 10 eastern Europeans who would do the same job for hands. It can’t work because we efforts. It could be because the half the money) we would surely see and end to this 'Rip off Republic. tacitly consent to a legitimised regions are volatile in themselves Tuesday November 1, 2005 21 Trinity News LETTERS

ing as a nuitritional therapist and Mushrooms enjoy being able to help our numer- New Square ous customers who find relief from College ‘Join-Up Week’ Article various conditions by using our Proposals Trinity News hemp products. We apologise if a November 14th-18th staff member in particular was unable to answer all the writers Sir, Sir, Freshers week was a great success thanks to the commitment and enthu- EST. 1947 questions but if he had come in and siasm of all the students involved - and also helped this year by good asked for a legitimate interview at weather for the entire week (the traditional soaking of the stalls and an appropriate time we would have I am writing you this e mail in rela- With reference to the last edition of stall-holders was avoided!). As we move towards the middle of been more than happy to accomo- tion to an article that appeared in the University Record, I was quite Michaelmas term, a great many of our new and continuing students will Let’s Make a Real Difference date him. Your writer also seemed your newspaper on the 11th of concerned that the Site and be getting involved in the many sporting, social or cultural activities that to think that our customers who October 2005. The article was Facilities Committee under their are going on here in Trinity. visit The Hemp Company in order about the sale of magic mushrooms "Development and Control Plan to purchase the mushrooms con- The recent class rep elections saw a record num- in Dublin shops and focused on 2003-2008" continue to consider I am aware that there will be some students who missed out on Freshers sisted of " eager teens, students,and The Hemp Company. The article is the opening up of New Square for week. These might include new postgraduate or international students ber of contested positions. While this is clearly old hippies". This statement is mis- named "Shrooms hit the streets of recreational activities. who arrived after Freshers' week, continuing students who are based off- leading and untrue. Just as many good news for the classes involved, a more wor- Dublin" and was featured in your campus, or new students who found the whole hustle and bustle of hard working business people or food and drink section. I am aware The document sees "a need on Freshers week a bit overwhelming. We would now like to encourage rying trend was obscured by these contests. Just people in trades buy our products. that this was meant to be a comical Campus for casual recreational these and all our students to take the opportunity of engaging fully in Your writer also reccomended that over half of the class rep positions have now piece however i feel there are ele- space for 'unofficial' games for stu- College life through its societies, sports clubs, student unions and other people put them in tea which is ille- ments to the article that should be dents during summer examination activities. To this end, we are planning to run a 'Join-up week' during the been filled leaving almost half the classes in gal as well as suggesting that peo- addressed by us here at The Hemp time in particular. It appears incon- week beginning 14th November. Stalls will be set up on different days ple buy a few different types, mix College without a representative. Company. First of all, and most gruous to students that there is so at various locations around College and at some off-campus locations, them alltogether and eat them as a importantly, the article mentioned much green space on Campus but such as St James's hospital, giving information on what's available in salad. However humourous this is more than once,about the sale of yet all of it is effectively 'out of College, including information on student support services. Student representation is crucial at all levels meant to be, the bottom line is that the magic mushrooms to "groups of bounds' to those wishing to recreate it is irresponsible to give out this within the college. While classes have no repre- nervous looking teenagers". The in a casual way." It appears to me Please keep an eye out for these displays and talk to the people at the information, as mixing mushrooms Hemp Company has a strict policy however that the needs and require- stalls to find out more about what goes on in College and how you can sentation they have no voice when plans that may together is not good for you and we of not serving anybody under the ments of the DU Croquet Club are get involved. tell our customers not to do it. If not be in their interests are discussed. age of eighteen and i feel that that not to be considered, and that recre- taken in a responsible dose they should have been specified. The ational activities are to take priori- Bruce Misstear Representation and student organisation also have minimum toxicity as well as reason for this being that we do not ty over an established and highly Dean of Students no rise in blood pressure or heart allow students to work together to oppose unfair wish to have an influx of young reputable competitive sports club. al. The effect on Croquet play rate. This is not to say that people teenagers in thinking that they will I would hope the Students' Union would be devastating in light of the events. An example of this has been demonstrat- cant abuse them and that is why we get served. We also do not wish that The croquet lawn on New Square would seriously take on board the marvellous achievement of a Club take what we do here quite serious- ed by some of the nurses in St James’ Hospital the general public think this as was once an excellent facility, but priority of competitive sports clubs ly. We do not mind articles being who narrowly lost against Oxford refusing to pay for vaccinations already paid for there could be a lot of concerned in recent years has deteriorated over the 'needs' of those students written about us, or even having a University CC last year and whose mothers or fathers out there think- with annual damage from the who wish to spend their afternoons by the Department of Health. little giggle about ourselves, just as former Captain, Conor Broderick ing that their sons or daughters Trinity Ball and this year, the BA engaged in activities such as jug- long as the "facts" are true. We (playing for Dublin University), have free reign to come in here and Festival of Science. There used to gling, disc throwing or rounders advertise with Trinity College won the Irish singles champi- purchase the mushrooms. Another be a time when the New Square with a bat in one hand and a can of Representation and the need to make your voice every year and felt that in order for onships held at Carrickmines area of the article that i would like lawn was maintained to champi- Bavaria beer in the other (I'm us to feel happy, this issue needed C<C last August. heard doesn’t end with your class. Students have to address is the comment about the onship standard, and like every- thinking of the GSU's annual soft- to be brought to your attention. also been targeted by the Government as the dou- staff being "glorified drug ped- thing else in College these days, ball day). It seems debates pertain- 400 years of a tranquil university dlers". First of all, the magic mush- will deteriorate into a free-for-all ing to Coca-Cola and Nestlè are of Yours, environment where harmony and bling of the Registraion Fee in the past four years rooms we sell here are completely by those administrators in power more relevance to the student rep- The Hemp Company of Dublin orderliness underlies everything we legal and unless he wishes to name out to make popular decisions. resentative authorities these days. demonstrates. With a general election looming, 167 Capel Street do will be destroyed were we to every pub owner and worker in Pointless recreational activities Dublin 1 allow such a shortsighted proposal. possibly as soon as next summer, it’s important Dublin the same, i would think that have a very limited role and ought As a member of the DU Croquet Ireland that students show their opposition to these kind he should re think his comment. I not to be encouraged as they make Club (the only university croquet Tel:01 874 85 15 Yours sincerely, think it also important to note that little, indeed a negative contribu- club in Ireland) and regular player, of moves and make the student voice a loud one Fax:01 874 58 31 we are a hemp company and we tion to the name of Trinity as a cen- I hope the Fellows and College Eamonn Hynes at election time. sell an array of health foods and tre of excellence for Irish sport Board would not support the Site Dept. Electrical & Electronic cosmentics. I am currently study- both nationally and internationally. and Facilities Committee's propos- Engineering This voice should emphasise the importance of education at all levels in society highlighting not Issue 2 November 1st, 2005 just the needs of today’s students but also those Trinity News Volume 58 in primary and secondary schools with a particu- lar emphasis on increasing access to education. Editor: Andrew Payne Intern’al Students: Alesya Krit [email protected] [email protected] TNT Team Deputy Editor: Jonathan Drennan Music: Steve Clarke Politics: Derek Owens Students are often accused of apathy, a some- [email protected] [email protected] [email protected] times justified claim. Let’s prove it wrong, start- Photography Editor:Karina Finegan Alves Cinema: Rebecca Jackson Books: Chloe Sanderson & Klara Kubiak [email protected] [email protected] [email protected], [email protected] ing at the bottom with class representation and TNT Editor: Christine Bohan Travel: Alix O’Neill Theatre Editor: David Lydon moving up to show the goverment what we want [email protected] [email protected] [email protected] Editorial Team SU & Societies Enda Hargaden Fashion Editor: Carmen Bryce to see in our society. News: John Lavelle [email protected] [email protected] [email protected] Food & Drink: Rosie Gogan-Keogh Assistant News: Una Faulkner [email protected] [email protected] Careers: Emma Hutchinson News Feature: Gearoid O’Rourke [email protected] All serious complaints can be made to: Trinity News [email protected] Science: Oliver North National: Anne Marie Ryan [email protected] Trinity News [email protected] Gaeilge: Paul Mulville DU Publications International: Doaa Baker [email protected] 2nd Floor Giveaway [email protected] Sport Features: Theo O’Donnell House 6 Features: Kathryn Segesser & Liz Johnson [email protected] Trinity College [email protected] Sport: Peter Henry Dublin 2 Comment: Patricia Van de Velde [email protected] Win the Revs’ [email protected] In House Doctor: John Inderhaug Phone +353 1 608 2335 new album Photograph of the Fortnight

One lucky reader will recieve a copy of the Revs’ new self titled album. To put youself in the draw just answer this simple question: What was the name of the Revs’ 1st single?

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Trinity enjoys a brief autumn 22 Tuesday November 1st, 2005 Eagarthóir na Gaeilge: Pól Ó Maoilmhíchil GAEILGE Trinity News An feidir seilbh bheith ag duine ar an gceol? Imeachtaí Is é an fhadhb atá ag an tion- Vótáil leis na Cois? Fionn scail ceoil ná go ndéantar an Córás Nua? An Cumann Gaelach MacDhiomsaigh uaslódáil gan cead ó na Tugann an idirlíon deis do Tá millteanach mór daoine thar Bíonn ciorcail comhrá gach Máirt - seomra 8 agus i ndiaidh sin is féidir dol chuig...... healaíontóirí. Bíonn líon mór healaíontóirí ceol a dhíol éis vótáil leis na cois. Iad Cé leis an gceol? millteanach de mhuintir na díreach dá lucht éisteora. Dá míshásta le praghas thar fóir na Club Chonradh na Gaeilge - gach Máirt Oíche na Mac Léinn - Ar an 12ú lá de mhí Aibreáin hÉireann ag íoslódáil ceoil go mbeadh an corás sin i ndlúthdhioscaí, chur siad riocht Ceol Beo agus gach pionta ar trí euro. An craic is fearr ar Shráid Fhearchair! an bhliain seo, d’fhogair neamhdhlíthiúil. Ní cheapann bhfeidhm, s.l.r. díolacháin nua ar an tionscal ceoil. Nach Cumann Cheol Taifeadta na muid gur rud mícheart é. díreach chuig an lucht cheart go mbeadh na ceoltóirí *Nóta : Más i Scoil na Gaeilge atá tá, déan cinnte go n-íocfaidh tá do chuid ballraíochta don Chumann Gaelach an bhliain seo. NÌl ann ach €2 ach tá sé tábhachtach. hÉireann (I.R.M.A.) gur Turairim na gceoltóirrí éisteachta, ní bheadh le ag díol díreach leis an lucht éis- thosaigh siad gníomh dlí in déanamh ag tionscal an cheoil teachta, agus an brabús á fháil [email protected] éadan daoine bhí ag scaipeadh Ach dar le Éanna Casey, ach ról bainistíocht fógraíochta ó na seóeanna beo. comhaid ceoil ar an idirlíon go Príomhfheidhmeannach a chomhlíonadh. Le fada an lá, Agus caidé faoi na 17 daoine Tradfest: Déardaoin, 8ú lá de mhí na Samhna, Vicer Street, 20:30. Ticéidí €10, ar díol ag an leanúnach in Éirinn. Bíonn na Ealaíontóirí agus Ceoltóirí bíonn an tionscail ag fáil na seo atá faoi bhagair ag doras ó 19:30 nó ó Ciarán ([email protected]). Ceol traidisiúnta,rince Gaelach, amhráiníocht scaipeadóirí seo ag cur ceol atá Taifeadta (R.A.A.P.), ìs rud milliúin agus ní raibh ag dul do I.R.M.A. Bhí lucht éisteachta agus na SAW DOCTORS! cóipcheart air ar fáil ar an santach, neamhdhlíthiúil é na ceoltóirí ach pá fíoríseal. ceoil na hÉireann ar bís agus idirlíon go neamhdhlíthiúil. Tá píoráideacht ar-líne ceoil agus Mar a dúirt Bob Dylan agus é cás an 17 idir lamh. Tá I.R.M.A. ag lorg damáistí agus bíonn tionchar díreach uaidh ar ag tosnú mar cheoltóir socraíocht déanta ag 12 dóibh; Polasaí Gaeilge Aontas urghairí in aghaidh 17 duine a leasa eacnamaíoch na proifisiúnta ní féidir le ceann amháin cistiú nEalaíontóirí agus na “Now, a very great man once a fháil; tá duine amháin fós i na Mac Léinn Má dhéanann gach gCeoltóirí. Tá cearta said mbun cainte agus tá I.R.M.A. úinéireachta intleachta ag na That some people rob you with ag dul chun dlí leis an triúir atá Seo Polasaí Gaeilge Aontas na Mac Léinn Choláiste na Tríonóide mar a bheartaigh Comhairle A. na duine ceol a íoslódáil, hEalaíontóirí, agus tá daoine ag a fountain pen. fágtha. M. L. an bhliain seo caite. an mbeidh sé ceart? An tógáil a gcuid ceoil agus tá siad It didn't take too long to find Ceist: Má dhéanann gach féidir le I.R.M.A. dul dá thabhairt amach saor in out duine ceol a íoslódáil, an Tógtha ó dréachtcháipéis Polasaí Aontas na Mac Leinn 2005 aisce. Cén fáth go ndéanfadh Just what he was talkin' about.” mbeidh sé ceart? An féidir le chun dlí le gach duine? daoine ionsaí ar na ceoltóirí? Is Ach tá Apple ag iarraidh úsáid I.R.M.A. dul chun dlí le gach 04/09: Irish Language Policy (Polasaí dá-theangach) léir go bhfuil meas ag daoine a bhaint as an margadh nua seo. duine? Má dhiúltaíonn muid ar Council recognises: the importance of promoting and supporting the ndearna na céadta nó na mílte don cheol, sin an fáth a mbíonn Tá siad ag athrú leis an dul fad praghas €24 a íoc ar albam, Irish language, rianta ceoil a uaslódáil go siad dá íoslódáil agus dá héis- chun cinn atá déanta i saol an an athróidh an suíomh? Council further recognises: USI's recommendation that all SU's neamhdhlíthiúil ar córais teacht. Ach ag an am céanna, cheoil agus tá na hI-tunes ar Nascanna adopt Irish language policies (polasaí dá-theangach), chomhchomad idir-chomhgh- ní cheapaim go dtuigeann siad díol acu. Tá díol láidir ar na hI- *Limwire Council notes: that the union had a polasaí dá-theangach in 1985 leacaithe. an tionchar atá ann. Go tunes seo, agus dar le Dick www.limewire.com and 1988. Mar chéad chéim, d’iarr hiondúil, ní bhíonn ach albam Doyle, Stiúrthoir Ginearálta *Soulseek Council further notes: that the Irish language is set to become much I.R.M.A. ar sholáthraithe seirb- amháin ag ceoltóir agus caith- I.R.M.A., tá fáilte mór roimh http://www.slsknet.org/ more prominent within Trinity in light of the Official Languages Act. hísí idirlín ainmneacha na fidh sé nó sí maireachtáil as na níos mó ná 300 céad *Gnutella Council mandates: Oifigeach na Gaeilge and the sabbatical officers ndaoine nach raibh ag cloí le sin.” laithreáin idirlíon dlíthiúil atá http://www.gnutella.com/ to draft an updated polasaí dá-theangach to be presented at the next cóipcheart ar an idirlíon. Ní Is léir ón sliocht thuas, go ann ar fud na hEorpa. Council meeting. raibh sé éasca do I.R.M.A. na bhfuil tionscal an cheoil na Agus tá comhlachtaí eile ar *Cumann Cheol Taifeadta na hainmneacha a fháil ó na hÉireann an-bhuartha faoi thóir Apple. Ach caithfear an hÉireann Má tá ceist agat faoi úsáid na Gaeilge in Aontas na Mac Léinn, cuir r-phost chuig Ciarán soláthraithe seirbhísí áfach. Ar maireachtáil na gceoltóirí. Ach cheist seo a chur: an bhfuil sé http://www.irma.ie/ MacFhearghasa, Oifigeach Gaeilge an Aontais.ag [email protected] an 8ú lá de mhí Iúil, rinne an caithfear an cheist seo a chur: de cheart ag éinne brabús a *Ealaíontóirí agus Ceoltóirí Más ionadaí ranga thú, ná dean dearmad go bhfuiil tú in ann Gaeilge a úsáid nuair atá tú ag caint Ard-chúirt cinneadh roinnt An mbíonn uaslódáil agus fháil ó dhíolachán ruda nach Taifeadta agus gur féidir leat rún a mholadh freisin atá as Gaeilge (ach scríobh aistriúcháin freisin chun a soláthraithe seirbhísí idirlín a íoslódáil neamhdhlíthiúil saor bhfuil ann i ndáiríre, cosúil le http://www.raap.ie bheith beasach). chur faoi dhualgas ainmneacha ag cur isteach ar na ceoltóirí nó sonraí ríomhaireachta? Mar a deir an té, beatha teanga í a úsáid chun daoine eile a chur as agus tú ag iarraidh polasaithe a 17 duine a ndearna comhaid ar na meáncheannaí don chuid shleamhnú isteach. ceoil a scaipeadh a chur ar fáil. is mó? Seo sampla ón bhliain seo caite: 04/11: Cúnamh Forbairt Thar Lear (International Development Aid) Glacann Comhairle: gur cheart do rialtas na hÉireann cloí dá ghealltanas chun 0.7% don brabús comhlán intíre a chaitheamh ar cúnamh forbairt thar lear, go háirithe in ndiaidh an tubáiste san Áis thiar theas. Éileamhaíonn Comhairle: ar Uachtarán Aontas na Mac Léinn litir a scríobh dhon Aire Airgeadais, an t -Uasal Brian Cowen, T.D., ag cur dearcadh na hAontas in iúil dó. Translation: Council accepts that the Irish government should honour its pledge to spend 0.7% of gross domestic product (GDP) on international development aid, in particular following the tragedy in south-east Asia. Council directs the SU President to write to the Minister of Finance, Mr. Brian Cowen TD, communicating the Union's policy to him.

T u a i r i m na Mac Léinn (agus Tommy Tiernan) An tír nach bhfeiceann na turasóirí

Tommy Tiernan: curachóireacht, cnocadóireacht bhfuil tú thar n-ais sna meá- >Tionscal an cheoil: “Ní féidir sin a dhéanamh! Tá lucht na Leslie Protche agus rothaíocht. naoiseanna: siopa bróga is Fíon cuaráin leathair; culaith na mbilliún le sásamh againn”< A thaistealaí fáin, nach bhfuil Táim cinnte go mbeidh cionn háite; bia traidisiúnta na fonn ort dul i mbun eachtra? ag lucht na fíona ar an áit seo ndaoine agus níos mó freisin. Fáil réidh leis an seanbhóthar freisin. Go dearfach, mar Lacha, foie grás agus arán. Má Mac Léinn Choláiste na Trionóide atá siúlta agus aimsigh an dhuine atá cleachtadh maith chaitheann tá oíche i gceann de Fhrainc, a cultúr, a hoidhreacht agam leis an bhfíonchaor, i mo na hóstáin traidisiúnta áille, >Is rud maith é an íoslódáil saor. Is cuma faoi na bastaird agus a daoine. Rachaimid i thuairimse, caithfear cuairt a chuile sheans nuair a éireann tá chorpraithe. Tá na dlúthdhiosca ró-chostasach.< bhfad ón Tour Eiffel agus na thabhairt ar Gaillac. Is ceantar ar maidin go bhféidfeadh tú tar aiteannaí eile atá ar eolas ag ollmhór é seo ina bhfuil na éis dul ar ais sna seanlaethanta. gach duine. ciliméadair de na fíonghoirt Seachain na linn Mic Léinn eile Choláiste na Trionóide Spórt agus tugann na cuireadóirí cead Snámha Ní bhíonn an chuid is mó de na duit a gcuid earraí ar fad a >Na bastaird chaipitlíoch. Tá na dlúthdhiosca ró-dhaor. Agus turasóirí ag dul chuig iardheis- bhlaiseadh. Geallaimse dhuit Mar fhocal scoir, tá orm a ra gur ceart na Fraince ariamh. Is é sa go mbainfidh sibh lántaitneamh fiú an Fhrainc a aimsiú i gceart. maidir leis na ceoltóirí féin, ceaptar gur daoine ar léith iad.< gceantar seo don chuid is mó ná as, ach bí cúramach, fág an car Is tír niamhrach é, seachas mar na tuaithe agus an nádúr. Is í ag an óstán. ghnáththurasóir, ach mar thais- Toulouse, “an chathair bhán- Stair cealaí. Déan iarracht tú féin a Mic Léinn eile arís Choláiste na Trionóide dearg”, príomhbhaile an chean- Moladh eile a thaganns díreach slánú isteach le muintir na háite >Is maith an rud é an íoslódáil saor. Is rud daonlathach, tair seo, agus an chuid eile de, chun aigne ná go gcaithfear seal agus beidh tú in ann na rudaí is tá sé iargúlta is fiáin. Ceann a chaitheamh i Cordes Sur Ciel. fearr agus is breátha a fheiceáil. réabhlóideach cothrom é< amháin de na háiteanna nach Tá an baile stairiúil seo suite ar Ná bí ar thóir na linn snámha bhfuil eolas maith faoi ná Saint barr cnoic. Is deacair an rud é móra ná na hóstáin mor le rá, in Antonin Noble Val, seanbhaile an cnoc a dhreapadh, ach nuair iardheisceart na Fraince ar a Mic Léin arís arís eile Choláiste na Tríonóide beag galánta atá suite sna a sroicheann tú doirse an bhaile, laghad, mar ní bhfaighe tú ach gleannta ar bhruach na is féidir domhain ar fad eile a an saol ceart Francach, maith >Ní bheidh tionchar chomh mór sin ar na comhlachtaí mar a deir siad. Tá fhios acu hAveyron ar imeall aille. Is aimsiú ag dul fada siar san am nó olc. Ach maith don chuid is sin, tá an teicneolaíocht acu déaláil leis más maith leo< féidir cuid mhaith stuife a atá thart. Nuair a bhfeiceann tú mó. dhéanamh ann, mar shampla atá le díol sna dosaen siopaí atá dreapadóireacht, ann, beidh tú ag ceapadh go Tuesday November 1, 2005 Editor: Alesya Krit 23 International Students Trinity News Striking differences between Ireland and

Hey again, told me how the bureaucra- for instance, and discover cy, new professors and your the beauty of the Irish coun- hope you are doing well, and ‘special’ status do stress you, tryside with traffic jams, your home country the promised 'pre-Christmas but you are strong - I know because of the number of depression' doesn’t occur to that! It is different here, but sheep on the roads, visit the something you’ve never what did they find strikingly For further information you so far. At any rate we are that’s what makes your expe- commons and experience done before! different and curiously inter- here to share with you a cou- rience in Trinity so unique! how posh the Irish can be, or see the box below. But for now- have a esting. Hope you will enjoy ple of thoughts about Irish There are a lot of just go for a free lunch in the glance at the page and get to it and be motivated enough and what’s so different. things to do here - go on a chaplaincy on Tuesdays and know how your friends dis- to take part in the next issue Some of my friends trip with climbing society, say hi to father Alan! Just do cover a green island and and share YOUR experience. Nederland en Ierland: L’IRLANDE ET LA FRANCE Was ist ein Ire? Zoek de Verschillen wenn man abends durch die Jens Gartmann Strassen von Dublin pilgert und ONT-ILS DES POINTS COMMUNS? sprak me aan met: “Hi, how are sich die Outfits der Girls so ansieht. Lieke Boersma you?” Ik dacht dat hij me iets wou Hallo ihr Lieben, Man müsste denken, man sei ger- Na nog geen vijf vragen en ik reageerde met: “Hi, I ade in Spanien, denn auch bei den Ich schreibe mal ein paar minuten in Ierland ontdekte ik al am fine, how are you?” Tot mijn niedrigsten Temperaturen scheint charmante –et d’ailleurs, vous Louis LeBrocquy a réalisé; c’est Zeilen über meine ersten Eindrücke een groot verschil met Nederland. verbazing was hij al doorgelopen das Outfitmotto: „as short as possi- remarquerez que la plupart des plutôt impressionnant. Et puis en von Irland bzw. Dublin. Tony Parsons Ik kwam aan op het vliegveld in voordat ik mijn zin kon afmaken. ble“ zu gelten. Es ist schon irlandaises sont aussi très char- littérature, il y a des géants comme Vor dem Beginn meines Dublin met een koffer die veel te Na een tijdje kwam ik erachter dat amüsant, wenn bei herbstlichem La première chose qui mantes, leur peau pale comme le Heaney ou Yeats. En philosophie, Erasmusjahrs war ich noch nie in zwaar was en een rugtas die zo dit een manier van begroeten is en Wetter die aufgetakelten Girls mit soit étonnante lorsque on com- lait, leur rousseurs ou leurs l’Irlande peut s’enorgueillir d’avoir Irland und man macht sich natür- groot was dat ik bijna omviel. dat men niet echt wil weten hoe het Pfennigabsätzen oder Flip-Flops mence à se familiariser avec blondeurs allies a un sourire sou- mis au monde des géants comme lich so seine Gedanken, wie es Terwijl de taxi chauffeur mijn me je gaat, maar alleen beleefd wil und Miniröcken versuchen elegant l’Irlande c’est l’incroyable nombre vent désarmant nous fait oublier les Berkeley, Burke ou Bono –Bono einem in einem fremden Land erge- spullen in de kofferbak deed ging zijn. die Strassen entlang zu laufen. Um de gens qui prétendent agir pour horribles charognards, vautours et qui, lui aussi, s’est spécialisé dans hen wird. Nachdem ich etliche ik heel vrolijk achter het stuur zit- In de Freshers week heb weiter beim Nachtleben zu bleiben, des causes et vous demandent de autres Concern, qui volètent au l’éthique: on le comprend car notre Reiseführer sowie unzählige sehr ten. Ik realiseer me dat het alge- ik vol verwondering tussen alle so ist es für einen Deutschen schon signer une pétition ; les abords de gute Erfahrungsberichte von ehe- meen bekend is dat de bestuurder stands gelopen waar ik door de een ziemlich ungewohnt, wenn man ein St Stephens Green, par exemple, maligen Erasmus-Studenten im On ne rencontre jamais d’elfes hier rechts zit, maar ik had een na de ander aan de mouw Pint Bier bestellt. Hier möchte ich sont ainsi remplis de ces racket- Internet gelesen haben, hatte ich lange dag achter de rug. Wellicht is getrokken werd met de vraag of ik mich gar nicht über die Grösse bzw. teurs éthiques qui vous fondent schon so eine Vorstellung was mich en France. het interessanter om het te hebben lid wilde worden van hun verenig- den Inhalt des Glases beschweren dessus avec un sourire mielleux in Irland und im Besonderen in over de wat minder duidelijke ver- ing. Alles wat je maar kan sondern vielmehr, dass der in alors qu’a dix mètres de la il y a des dessus de St Stephens Green. monde a bien besoin de grande Dublin erwarten könnte. schillen tussen Nederland en bedenken is vertegenwoordigd in Deutschland viel zelebrierte clochards, beaucoup de femmes Et puis, il y a aussi le conscience pour nous rappeler a Um nur einige meiner Ierland. De eerste dag dat ik bood- een vereniging! Ik heb mij diverse Bierschaum nicht existiert und d’ailleurs, sur lequel touristes et problème de la nourriture; on peut l’ordre-. Vorurteile zu nennen, die sicherlich schappen wilde gaan doen begon ik keren afgevraagd wat men doet bij dadurch dass die Gläser hier rand- irlandais piétinent joyeusement. Ce très bien manger en Irlande, L’Irlande est bien dif- viele Deutsche haben: al ernstig aan mezelf te twijfelen. de Food and Drink society, om voll gezapft werden, mir schon das faux souci des autres, cette bonne comme en France. La cuisine férente de la France; ces dif- Waar waren alle supermarkten maar niet te spreken van de ein oder andere Bier über meine conscience achetée a ceux qui veu- irlandaise, contrairement aux férences sont toutes à la fois posi- 1. In Irland regnet es immer gebleven? Was er misschien een Paintball society. In Utrecht Klamotten geschüttet wurde. Auch lent vous vendre leurs salades apparences, ne se limite pas aux tives et négatives, mais on pourrait 2. Viele Irren sind rothaarig geheime plaats waar alle Ieren hun hebben we ongeveer vier wenn man einige Ungewohnheiten humanitaires, ne se retrouvent pas patates et aux haricots. Non. Ne en dire autant de la France. Vous ne 3. Die meisten Irren trinken boodschappen doen? Ik begreep er verenigingen en persoonlijk vind ik im Nachtleben hinnehmen muss, encore dans les régions francopho- vous inquiétez pas chers gourmets verrez pas en Irlande des flics à zuviel niets van en was natuurlijk te trots daar niet zoveel aan. Een Ierse muss man ganz klar sagen, das nes. Voila. Cela m’ennuie d’avoir et allez gouter leurs poissons, leurs tous les coins de rue comme c’est om het te vragen. De volgende dag eerste jaars student liet me vol trots Dublin eine Party Stadt ist. Wenn ces rabat-joies sur le dos, mais il huitres ou leurs viandes qui valent le cas maintenant en France alors Das es in Irland (wobei ich ontdekte ik de warenhuizen waar twintig kaartjes zien, uit een porte- man möchte hat man sozusagen fast faut remarquer que les irlandais le détour. L’Irlande, au point de que s’approche les élections prési- mich hier auf Dublin begrenzen jeden Tag die Möglichkeit hier raus sont naturellement chaleureux et vue, culturelle est a l’image de leur dentielles. On a bien aussi notre muss) immer regnet, kann ich noch zu gehen um zu feiern. généreux ; surtout ceux de la base. cuisine: très riche –le whisky est forme d’hypocrisie, la différence Ik heb mij diverse keren afgevraagd nicht so ganz bestätigen, da es seit Eine andere neue Erfahrung La richesse qui leur est bon aussi-. L’architecture, par avec l’Irlande c’est qu’elle se rap- ich hier bin, auch schon mal eine die man als Deutscher in Irland soudainement tombée dessus ne les exemple, est assez remarquable. proche moins du porte-monnaie; wat men doet bij de Food and Drink Woche gar nicht geregnet hat. Ich machen muss, ist das man viel Zeit a surement pas rendus meilleurs. Alors que les maisons, en France, elle est un peu moins pragmatique. society, om maar niet te spreken van habe jedoch gemerkt, dass es mitbringen muss und sich brav in Car tu remarqueras, cher lecteur, sont généralement bâties en hau- Les irlandais sont aussi assez hum- immer ratsam ist einen einer Schlange anstellt. Teilweise que cette richesse est un peu teur, ici, elles sont construites en bles, alors que souvent les français de Paintball society. Regenschirm bei sich zu haben, kann man meinen, dass es von eini- téléphoné, et qu’elle semble surtout largeur et en profondeur et elles croient avoir inventé l’eau chaude. denn wo gerade noch die Sonne tot mijn verbazing alles, maar dan gen Iren ein Hobby zu sein scheint une apparence; on a l’impression sont assez gemutlich. L’Irlande ne ressemble pas trop à la schien, kann es Minuten später ook echt, alles te koop is. Eten en monnee die bijna uit zijn voegen sich in Schlangen anzustellen, qu’alors qu’ils s’enrichissent Il ne faut pas oublier France: c’est le bout de l’Europe, schon wieder regnen. kleding in dezelfde winkel is iets barstte, van alle verenigingen wenn man hingegen in Deutschland matériellement, ils s’appauvrissent aussi l’activité débordante de nos l’Irlande. Et puis c’est un pays de Dass es hier mehr rothaarige dat je in Nederland niet zo snel zal waarvan hij lid was geworden. oft die Ellenbogen benutzt um sich spirituellement. amis irlandais au point de vue artis- magie aussi, de druides et d’elfes. Menschen als Deutschland gibt tegenkomen. Over eten gesproken; Ik was zeer trots toen ik Platz zu verschaffen kommt es hier Mais, on ne peut pas tique; littérature, poésie, peinture, On ne rencontre jamais d’elfes en kann ich nicht ganz bestätigen. het lijkt erop alsof Ieren niet erachter kwam dat de meeste Ieren schon mal vor, dass man 1 Stunde masquer une qualité évidente, pro- philosophie ; c’est riche messieurs France. Welches Vorurteil aber koken. Ik heb drie Ierse ons Nederlanders meestal met de in einer Schlange steht (eigene pre aux irlandais, c’est qu’ils ont dame, c’est bien riche. Il faut aller zutrifft, ist das die Iren zuviel huisgenoten en ik heb ze nog nooit wallen of met drugs associëren. Erfahrung). Auch wenn ich hier une relation a l’autre qui est plutôt voir les peintures de visages que trinken! Während sich die in de keuken gezien. Het kan zijn Het is toch altijd fijn om te ont- einige ungewöhnliche aber jedoch Trinkgelage in Deutschland meis- dat ze mij gewoon vermijden of ze dekken dat men een positieve interessante erste Erfahrungen tens auf die männliche Fraktion koken echt niet. Ik hoop maar dat indruk heeft van je landgenoten. Er gesammelt habe, haben die ersten beschränken, sieht man hier viele het dat laatste is. De meeste stu- zijn ook genoeg vooroordelen over Wochen schon meine Erwartungen betrunkene Girls. Wenn man sich in denten uit Utrecht die ik ken zijn de Ieren en hun alcohol gebruik en übertroffen und ich hoffe, dass es den Pubs oder in den Clubs mal so Buenos días Ireland! gek op koken, dus vandaar dat het het is waar dat elke Ier mij onder hier so weiter geht wie es angefan- umschaut, entsteht bei mir des mij opvalt. Een van mijn andere de tafel kan drinken. Ik moet echter gen hat. Die Mischung aus Spaß + öfteren der Eindruck, dass manche huisgenoten vertelde mij dat Ieren toegeven dat daar is niet zoveel Studium+ Lifestyle soll weiterhin Männer an einem inoffiziellen alleen maar brood eten en thee voor nodig is. Ik heb ontdekt dat de so ausgewogen bleiben. Ich freue el ocaso del mísmo, pasando por el tigio internacional. Trinkwettbewerb teilnehmen, bei drinken. Ik weet alleen niet of dit meeste Ieren erg gezellig en mich auf noch einige erlebnisreiche Oscar Falagan modo de enjoy the leisure o disfru- The Irish women and dem es das Ziel ist, so schnell wie van toepassing is op alle Ieren, of gastvrij zijn. Ik heb nog geen Monate und neue interessante tar del fin de semana, all irish and men lo hacen con más desdén, möglich betrunken zu werden. Der Una ma_ana de agosto, dat enkel mijn huisgenoten van een heimwee gehad want tot nu toe Erfahrungen mit vielen anderen Spanish have well-different ways resolviendo a menudo esa primaria einzige richtige Gegner hierbei ist custodiado por el encapotado cielo zeldzaam niet kokend soort zijn. hebben de Ieren er voor gezorgd Studenten. to do. El irlandés coge fuerzas y necesidad de manera individual. Y die Zeit, die einem übrig bleibt, bis dublinés, me dirijí a un local de la De tweede dag dat ik hier was liep dat ik me ontzettend welkom voel. recarga energías (por no decir lo hacen por todas partes, en las es heißt: last order. city centre a hacer algo de shop- ik over de campus toen een calorías) a primera hora de la calles, en los parques o en Auch sehr interessant ist es, ping, pocas horas después de ma_ana. Y es que ¡vaya breackfast cualquier corner del town. beveiligingsman mij passeerde. Hij bajarme del avión que me había contundente!, lejos de nuestro Espacios verdes no les faltan para transportado desde la soleada cafecito o vasito de leche con Cola- sentarse a comer, pero conviene Espa_a estiva hasta la cuna de mi Cao. Tonterías ligeras son esas, que lleven el chubasquero, por lo tocayo Oscar Wilde. -Good morn- pues con el fuerte viento que sopla que pueda suceder… ...postumi di un`Italia... ing!- saludé amablemente. Tanto el por estas latitudes, los nativos pre- Pero es el de la cena el denghiu”e che sorseggerà per tre o perché troppo di sale, o la musica nome, ma con le donne fa sempre dependiente del negocio, como el fieren meter buen peso dentro. horario más dispar: Irish dinner Ruben Lagattolla quattro ore, facendo un casino infer- della radio è inascoltabile perché effetto…queste donne irlandesi, che about six; cena espa_ola, tranquila- nale… troppo vecchia e la nonna è una al contrario di altre sono in grado di Dopo le prime due setti- ...cada uno con su estilo, el mente a eso de las diez. Y es que si Oppure il nostro pataccone rompi…… capire che se un uomo parla con loro mane dall`arrivo in questo college, si se trata de un sábado, midnight es riminese che non può fare a meno dei Una volta scesi dall`aereo, non ci sta necessariamente provan- sono cominciate a notare le prime espaòol con sus tascas de tapas y buena hora en Espa_a para salir a suoi occhiali griffati nemmeno di tutti, diventiamo dei nostalgici del do… facce dei compatrioti, più o meno “festear” (muchas veces hasta el notte, e il povero irlandese che tenta sugo salato, di Battisti, e ci ascolti- Non mi sto mettendo a desiderate… el irlandés con sus pubs... amanecer) y beber, beber y beber. di fargli notare che è notte, viene amo la nonna registrata nel cellulare. criticare, però a volte vale la pena di Ci si riunisce in party dove Fritos varios: bacon, huevos, Pues el espa_ol ingiere en “cuba scambiato per uno scippatore e Come se non bastasse, diventiamo considerare l`importanza del viaggio resto de clientes me dedicaron una manca il vino, in cene in cui si salchichas y más, con sus alubias al libres”, tal vez lo que en pints of mandato a quel paese senza nem- tutti degli esperti d`arte, e quando non che spinge a far cambiare forma a mirada de estra_eza que me dejó rimpiange lo Stravecchio a fine pasto, ketchup y, por qué no, un té con su beer ingiere el irlandés. Ahí se meno capire perché, visto che ovvia- annuiamo per far finta di capire cosa questa cosa che a volte non ne ha, che ligeramente fuera de juego. -You addirittura in passeggiate dove man- par de tostadas, mantequilla y mer- encuentran ambas culturas, en el mente lo farà in italiano… dicono, tiriamo fuori nomi che ci è la vita. Far evolvere quello che è mean good afternoon!- precisó uno cano le ragazze coi capelli neri… melada para cerrar. Y entonces sí, placer que estos dos curiosos pueb- Speriamo sempre che tali ricordiamo per caso dai cazzeggi al l`intimo accadere, con desiderio, mal- de los presentes. ¡Claro, eran ya las Mi tiro fuori un po` disgus- ¡listos para faenar! los le encuentran a la vida social en personaggi non incontreranno il liceo tra una sigaretta e l`altra nel izia e ingenuità allo stesso tempo, doce y quarto de… la ma_ana! Y es tato da questa realtà. No tan venerado, sin el bar. Cada uno con su estilo, el “coatto”… di quelli che si bagno. Anche io mi sono ritrovato a perdersi nella vita insomma; gli irlan- que aquí no es como en el rincón Fortunatamente mi sono embargo, tienen el momento del espa_ol con sus tascas de tapas y el riconoscono da un chilometro di dis- parlare del Palladio, lo ammetto desi ce lo insegnano…e non mi ibérico de donde yo vengo, en el voluto divertire a conoscere gli irlan- almuerzo. La hora de la comida, a irlandés con sus pubs. Las tascas tanza, per urla ai suoi “compagni” senza sapere nulla di lui oltre al riferisco alle birre! que siguen siendo “¡Buenos días!” desi, questo popolo che non finisce la que los espa_oles manifiestan llenas de humo y en Irlanda ¡pro- riferite al gentil sesso, o ai “buoni” hasta después de comer, es decir, mai di stupire per la propria “kind- gran devoción, con sus pinchos o hibido en los pubs fumar! Mas prezzi di quello che probabilmente è hasta cuando el reloj dice que son, ness”…coloro che diventano la vera The topic of the next issue are the entremeses, primer y segundo encontrando coincidencia en la Il ristorante più costoso di temple mas o menos, las tres. attrazione del turista in questa verde plato, postre, café y hasta quien sencillez y espontaneidad o en las bar…altrimenti si rischia di ritrovarsi cliches about your home country and Hoy, transcurridos ya terra. in un turbine di terribili esclamazioni varios meses en esta isla del otro La differenza sostanziale compatriotiche e continui: aoo! ma Ireland so if you would like to share some lado del Saint George’s Canal (viva ...el espaòol ingiere en “cuba vista fin`ora sta nella disponibilità che ppure te sei`taliano?! Ma te guar- el spanglish!), he comprendido que delle persone: non sia mai che un impressionsor if you have a nice story to tell da `n po`! hai visto come se magna los horarios y costumbres de los libres”, tal vez lo que en pints of anconetano, che tuttavia mai mi per- qqua?!ma questi so`matti! A quel us, please contact via cell 0851495979 or by irlandeses distan bastante de aquel- metterei di associare al resto d`Italia punto è consigliabile los espa_oles. beer ingiere el irlandés... (ma che ahimè costituisce la mia scappare…anche un marziano mail [email protected] and leave your article Lo cierto es que no es Espa_a país realtà!), venga a chiedere a due copa y puro también, se resume en siempre presentes ganas de capirebbe che quelli sono “gli con escasas peculiaridades ni con ragazzi stranieri che guardano la before the 7th of November. If any ques- este country a un corto break para bromear, tanta cara de sorpresa se Italiani” col marchio in fronte mei- excesivos hábitos comunes al resto cartina al contrario in mezzo ai binari tomarse un tentempié. El espa_ol, la queda al turista irlandés que ve dinitali e si metterebbero a prenderli tions occur to you, please don’t hesitate to de los europeos, así que en con- della Luas:”vi siete persi?”. como pueda, se va a su casa en una corrida de toros en la tele de per il culo. traste con el pintoresco Eire, que C`è da ammettere che ved- medio de la jornada laboral y le Manolo’s bar, como al turista La cosa che più ci riesce, è contact me. tampoco se queda atrás en el erci in giro per questa città, è spesso dedica su tiempo a las tareas del espa_ol que ve un hurling match en in ogni caso la passione che abbiamo número de sus singularidades cul- divertente. C`è sempre il tipico grup- I’d love to get to know you. buen yantar. Quizás sea esa copiosa el McFlanagan’s pub. per insultare il nostro paese da turales, las sorpresas son notorias. petto con l`invicta dai mille colori, Spanish lunch, la causa de sus casa…e di diventarne fanatici quando Take care, Partiendo desde el modo de abor- che entra nel hard rock cafè a famosos afternoon naps, pues es la ne siamo fuori. Insomma, da casa il dar los prolegómenos del día hasta chiedere una “medium guinness, siesta espa_ola costumbre de pres- ragù della mamma a volte fa schifo yours Alesya. 24 Tuesday November 1, 2005 Science Editor: Oliver North SCIENCE Trinity News A Well Strung Universe? Since Copernicus looked to the heavens, Galileo peered through his telescope, Newton pondered under an apple tree and Einstein studied his watch, the great thinkers have sought to explain the world around us. They have all yearned for the scientific Holy Grail, the physicists Pandora’s Box – The Theory of Everything. Nicola Hughes examines String theory

A theory of everything (TOE) is a devising General Relativity (GR), abilities. This has been the great Standard Model. Why are there so the uncertainty effect, which keeps theory of theoretical physics and Einstein said that everything would hurdle for decades. Both these the- many? This model breaks down at it “stretched”. Consequently, the mathematics that fully explains and be found “in the details”. But GR, ories are “correct” but neither the Planck length (10-33 cm). At minimum size of a string must be links together all known physical although encompassing the enig- describes everything. More impor- this quantum mechanical scale, related to the string tension. Using phenomena (i.e. “everything”). matic notion of gravity (seen as a tantly, each is the others antithesis. space is seen to be “frothy” (See the tension to calculate size, the This theory, if found, should be distortion of spacetime) as no other But a new theory has been pro- picture). Larger objects don’t expe- smallest string was found to be the able to describe the weak nuclear theory before has been able to do, posed that is compelling the scien- rience this froth and so see space as size of the Planck length. force (involved in nuclear decay), only describes the large – planets, tific community to believe that flat, making their physical con- In fact, using the tension the strong nuclear force (involved galaxies and the universe. Quantum TOE has been found: String straints measurable (GR). But if and length of a string as its only in nuclear fusion), electromagnet- mechanics (founded by Pauli, Theory. elementary particles are infinitely arbitrary parameters, string theory ism and gravity. Above all, TOE Dirac and Heisenberg to name but a String theory is a model small points then they will experi- predicts all the properties of the should be simple and elegant. few) became the new contender for of fundamental physics whose ence this “quantum foam”, making elementary particles of the standard Many men have claimed to have TOE. QM is a theory for describing building blocks are one-dimension- everything uncertain! model. The crux of the theory’s found such a theory. Indeed, after physical events on the smallest al extended objects (strings) rather But strings have a finite success lies in the fact that it pre- scale - atoms, electrons and quarks. than the zero-dimensional points size. Strings have tension much dicts the graviton, the fundamental It describes a universe based on (particles) that are the basis of the like regular strings made of twine. particle of gravity. No other pro- ‘Frothy’ space probabilities. A particle’s speed and Standard Model of particle physics. The tension of a string is closely posed theory has done this. It sounds depending on their length This is the elegance of string theo- position can only be estimated, for This is the currently used model of related to its size. Consider a closed includes gravity at the Big Bang as and tension, so the strings in a ry. Everything is made up of just if we try to measure one the value the physical universe that yields loop of string, left to move through another dimension. In fact, it pre- Kalabi-Yau shape produce the one entity. of the other gets more and more accurate predictions. It consists of space without external forces. Its dicts 11 dimensions. At the birth of characteristics of fundamental par- However string theory uncertain (Heisenberg’s four fundamental interactions of tension will tend to contract it into the universe five of the dimensions ticles depending on how they are remains unverified. In this sense, Uncertainty Principle). nature and twelve elementary parti- a smaller and smaller loop. “unfurled”: three space, one time “plucked”. The idea that the string theory is still in a “larval As it stands, GR and QM cles. This model is among the most Classical intuition suggests that it and gravity. The other six dimen- strings of string theory can be stage”: it possesses many features cannot both be right. When physi- successful theories in history, but it might shrink to a single point, but sions are left unfurled at the Planck plucked is synonymous with the of mathematical interest, and it cists try to combine them to mathe- fails to explain everything. It does- this would violate Heisenberg’s length in Kalabi-Yau shapes. (See idea that different forms of energy may yet become supremely impor- matically describe the small but n’t explain the origins of the uni- Uncertainty Principle. The charac- picture) The interaction of strings can be interchanged. For if a string tant in our understanding of the massive e.g. the centre of a black verse before the Big Bang. There teristic size of the string loop will with these extra dimensions gives vibrating in the “mass” mode is Universe, but it requires further A Kalabi-Yau shape, hole or the Universe at the time of are 18 arbitrary constants and a be a balance between the tension all the elementary particles. Just as plucked in the proper way it can developments before it is accepted apparently the Big Bang they get infinite prob- dozen elementary particles in the force, acting to make it small, and strings on a guitar make different change its tune and sing of energy. or falsified. Going Ape: The Primal Scream Pending the ruling in Pennsylvania over the teaching of Intelligent Design in schools, Abby Semple evaluates how apes have fallen out of favour with us humans

It may have occurred to you that against creationism’s more sporty itself to gain some insight into this ion move from tolerance and imag- apes haven’t developed language in humanity is almost certainly on the cousin, ‘intelligent design’. The precipitous decline. inative engagement with apes to a the same complex way as humans. brink of collapse. The Mutually school board is arguing for the The original film Planet majority which denies our connec- That they lack the internet and tall Assurred Destruction nuclear men- retainment of a textbook called ‘Of of the Apes, starring Charlton tion to them altogether? One buildings. Their thumbs are not ace which haunted our parents’ Pandas and People’ as part of the Heston, Roddy McDowall and Kim answer is that people were then, opposable. However it could be childhoods (the absurdity of which science curriculum. This textbook Hunter, tells the emotionally if not and still probably are much more argued by the more apocalyptical- was so well conveyed by Peter proffers intelligent design as the intellectually convincing story of a open to ideas which are presented ly-minded amongst us that the Sellers), has been replaced by a cat- most viable explanation for life on planet run by apes. Charlton as entertainment. An interesting internet is a source of contagion alogue of new terrors and worries: earth and portrays evolution as a Heston plays a cocky, virile and theory could also be advanced and fraud as much as information, bird flu, earthquakes, hurricanes, pretty shaky, Johnny-come-lately fearless space explorer, a far cry indexing levels of human tolerance tall buildings are just terrorist-mag- Al Qaeda, the self-destructing oil scientific theory. If the school from us lot moaning about dead to the average volume of hair on nets and Bush’s re-election indi- economy and climate change. All board is successful, Pennsylvania turkeys and a bit of wind. A theme our bodies. But aside from fond cates that the complexity of our of these things offer themselves to will join Kansas, Alabama, running throughout the film is hair, nostalgia, we need to think serious- language isn’t held in particularly the apocalyptic imagination like Georgia, Arkansas and Ohio as and humans’ sad lack of it in rela- ly about whether the apes at present high regard. And opposable thumbs crisp tinder. Having outgrown ear- states where evolution is treated as tion to our more hirsute cousins. have a more viable civilisation on have reached their apotheosis of lier, more primitive fears such as downright dodgy by schools. We have to remember that this film earth than our own, given its pres- utility in operating Playstations and the nuclear bugbear and the Y2K A 2005 nationwide poll was made in 1968, the same year ent malcontents. A few observa- pulling gun triggers. bug, we can now focus our sight has indicated that 54% of the musical ‘Hair!’ opened on tions: So why wait until the (those of us who haven’t suc- Americans do not believe that Broadway, and a year before that Apes haven’t burdened third millenium to hand the wheel cumbed to laser eye surgery) on humans evolved from earlier notably hairy cultural moment, themselves with excessive numbers over to the apes. Let’s get started much more grown-up things that species. So pandas are okay, but John and Yoko’s bed-in. While the of children, tedious religions or with the handover now, and assign go bump in the night. Publishers apes are out. It’s questionable ape society portrayed is largely troublesome fad diets such as the every schoolchild an ape-twin. have been doing a lively trade in whether the American television closed-minded and bigoted against Atkins or Low-GI (though a good Alternatively, we could become books which explain which of the networks will ever be able to show humans, the sympathetic scientist- many are raw foodists). Apes more ape-like ourselves, in the potential Armageddons we should re-runs of those Jane Goodall doc- chimps are open to new ideas and haven’t invented things to frustrate hopes of triggering some kind of be most afraid of, and the umentaries without dubbing over possibly (it’s hard to really read and discourage them, like the reverse evolution. Let’s bring back Scientologists and Jehovah’s most of her commentary with Kim Hunter’s willingness through Rubix cube, space exploration or those cave woman tops that were in Witnesses aren’t doing badly Laura Bush reciting Genesis. I’m the ape mask) inter-species copula- the United Nations. Female apes a few years ago, and rescue the either. not saying this is a bad outcome, tion. If you’ve somehow managed don’t feel the need to have plastic Flintstones from their purgatory in Apes- Like Marmite Given this bleak outlook, but future generations might well never to see any version of this surgery or wear uncomfortable and vitamin factories. A positive atti- one might well ask why fundamen- look back and ask, what did the film, stop reading now. The planet elaborate, potentially dangerous tude towards our own primal char- talist Christians in America, surely apes do to us? How did their status of the film’s title is Earth, and apes underwear. They are unlikely to acteristics is the first step; greater one of the groups best prepared for viz. humanity decline so sharply replaced humans as the civilised engage in beauty regimes more engagement with, and ultimately Overrated and holy Armageddon, are still so from its 1968 peak, when the clas- society sometime during the third demanding than having the nits submission to the apes will follow. afraid of apes. Kitzmiller et al. v. sic film The Planet of the Apes was millenium. picked off them by their friends. To paraphrase Genesis 3:19, from Dover Area School District, the made, to its current abyss, some- The film opened to rave Male apes don’t invent sports apes we came and unto apes we trial currently taking place in where below cockroaches and mos- reviews and its success spawned which leave them lame, brain-dead shall return. Underrated Pennsylvania, has once again pitted quitoes in the hierarchy of animals multiple dreadful sequels. How or hoarse from shouting at the ref- the apparently still controversial favoured by Americans? We have much has changed since then. eree. theory of Darwinian evolution to start by looking back on the film When did American popular opin- You may point out that Science The New OVER-RATED UNDER-RATED Crying During Sex: A Turn-On? Craze: Photosynthesis Respiration pheromones are found in sweat or out the special lingerie. we associate tears with pain, and Yes it makes glucose out of sun- Just try doing anything without it Jane Ferguson urine. It took the scientists some Humans don’t have a therefore understand that a person light and oxygen is a natural by- ‘Electronic Without having done any scientifi- time before they discovered that very impressive vomeronasal organ crying is suffering. But what if our product, but life as a plant isn’t all cally-sound research on this partic- the mice were producing a previ- (VNO), and some researchers even empathy is chemically induced? that great The Nitrogen Cycle ular topic, a quick survey has con- ously unknown sex pheromone in dispute its very existence, or argue Could tears be signalling directly to Hugely implausible idea about Mail’ firmed my suspicions to me: crying their tear glands, and secreting it as that it is non-functional. While it our brains rather than via our emo- The Carbon Cycle lightning and clover fixing nitro- during sex is not usually seen as eye fluid, where it could be picked appears that humans don’t use their tions? Overrated. Always has been. gen in the soil. Also involves cows. This week the onslaught of moder- being particularly sexy. In fact, up by any female who was in nose- VNO to the large extent that other This is a difficult ques- Brilliant nity with its stealth bombers and especially if the partner doing the rubbing distance. The brains of the mammals do, it is likely that it has tion, and one that may not be its iPods has finally overwhelmed crying is male, this would be seen female mice “light up” when played a role in our recent evolu- answered for some time. Until The Periodic Table Other Tables the science editor’s last bastion of as a definite turn-off by some, and exposed to this chemical. It is tionary past, and may still have more research is carried out into Good in parts, as the name sug- Four legs and a hard flat surface. A bayonet-wielding resistance. at the very least as a blatant over- received by the vomeronasal organ, some functions, albeit less obvious human pheromones, and the capa- gests. Later groups fail to realise timeless piece of classic design. Having arrived ‘fashionably late’ extension of modern man’s foray which handles all pheromone-relat- ones. Nobody really knows why bilities of humans to respond to the promise shown by group I. in the 21st century I have finally into metrosexuality by most. This, we cry, but this study could give us them, we won’t know whether tears begun using e-mail much to the however, might not be viewed the a clue. If you can produce could have this significance. The Science of Mixing Drinks The Art of Rolling relief of everyone. Which means same way in the mouse communi- pheromones and secrete them into Maybe they are a vestigial phe- Leave it to the professionals Do it yourself anyone who has any questions or ty. Genetically, mice are pretty sim- your eye, what better way to spread nomenon, like the appendix, which queries, would like to submit an ilar to humans, but aside from the the message than creating big fat we have but don’t really seem to article or enjoys sending random obvious differences (fur, tails, like- tears full of the stuff? Maybe our need anymore. During plastic sur- abuse can do all these things at the lihood of becoming a carton char- ancestors used to employ tears as a gery on the nose, the VNO is some- click of a button by writing to: acter), there are some more subtle means of communication; or times removed. Could this explain [email protected] variations to be noticed, which may maybe we still do! Most why people with severely surgical- even teach us something about our species have introduced their own ly altered noses look so creepy? So own sexual origins. personal modifications into many questions, so few answers. In a recent publication, it pheromone communication, so just All I can advise is carrying out was found that male mice secrete because we mightn’t always find your own surveys. Next time you sex pheromones from, of all places, Crying, probably not crying sexy, doesn’t mean that we want sex, try crying. See what hap- their tear glands. It is well known aren’t getting another message pens. If enough people report back, that many animals secrete during sex from those sobs. Crying usually we could have the beginnings of a pheromones during sex, and that ed business, and is passed on as a inspires empathy in those exposed scientific study on our hands. these signals are vital to normal sexy message, encouraging the to somebody shedding tears. We mating behaviour, but usually these female to dim the lights and whip might think that this is just because Periodic Table: Definitely overrated Sports Features Editor: Theo O’Donnell Tuesday November 1st, 2005 25 Trinity News SPORTS FEATURES Nothing Posh About The Uzbeks: Appalling Ruling Leaves Former Soviets Out In The Cold SPORTS

affected their better judgement. got less than they deserved, then Jonny Walls Only in the cases of teams failing asked for more than they were to show for a game or fielding and entitled to, and were subsequently Football’s world governing body ineligible player can 3-0 results be awarded less than they already is well known for it’s habit of awarded by FIFA. had. WRITERS issuing nonsensical directives when it comes to the administra- ‘What happened to the referee’s deci- tion of the sport. Sepp Blatter and his friends in FIFA like nothing sion being final? Uzbekistan have been more than to meddle, whether in punished twice for the ref’s mistake’ the disciplinary procedures for WANTED players and coaches or the appli- In hindsight Uzbekistan They now want to leave cation of the rules of the game. should have kept their head down, the Asian Football Federation and Most of the time the fed- their mouth shut and taken a join Uefa, as their neighbours eration’s attitude though undoubt- strong advantage into the 2nd leg. Kazakhstan did a few years. edly over zealous at times, is usu- Uzbeki Soccer Fans Are Understandably Outraged by However not even they could have However FIFA’s reach is global ally of little long-term significance predicted one of the most unjust and no-one is safe from the for those on the receiving end of FIFA’s Controversial Ruling decisions FIFA has ever made. The medalling of that organisation, not FIFA’s rulings. However in the last Uzbekistan were drawn lowed the goal and awarded a world governing body did indeed least the small, vulnerable foot- six weeks there has been an exam- The Trinity News Sports Features Pages to play Bahrain in a World Cup free-kick to the visitors. This was agree with the Uzbeks that a balling nations such as ple of the new depths to which the qualifying play-off, with the win- despite the fact that it was a “technical error” had been made Uzbekistan. are always looking for contributions on all organisation has sunk. This inci- ner of the tie set to face Trinidad Bahrain defender who had but didn’t accept the proposed dent points to a worrying new subjects and of any length. All you need is & Tobago in a subsequent two- encroached into the “D” on the solution. trend whereby procedure is legged affair for a place in edge of the penalty area before the Football’s decision-mak- a passion for sport (preferably Gaelic adhered to so trenchantly that Germany. As one would suspect ball had been struck. By the letter ers could have left the result as it often it is the innocent party who sports or something that we don’t have the Uzbeks were rated as strong of the law the official should have was. But they didn’t. They could gets punished. favourites and duly set about their ordered a retake of the penalty, have given the former Soviet state already covered) and an ability to write at The elimination of business with relish in their home though if he was willing to show a the choice of replaying the game. Uzbekistan from Asian Zone least partly coherent articles. Bias is active- leg. The hosts went ahead early in bit of common sense he would But they didn’t. Instead FIFA World Cup qualification may not the first half and were then award- have awarded a goal. He did nei- determined that the result was nul ly encouraged - the more you anger some- and void and HAD to be replayed! ‘Sepp Blatter and his friends in FIFA ther and the game ended 1-0. Japanese referee So infuriated were the What happened to the referee’s one with your insanely pro-Kilkenny article Toshimitsu Yoshida has like nothing more than to meddle’ Uzbeks that they submitted an decision being final? Uzbekistan on hurling, the more likely they are to write official appeal to FIFA, claiming had been punished twice for the been suspended indefinite- give rise to many sleepless nights ed a penalty ten minutes before that because the referee had made mistake of the referee and it got ly following an incredible an article in response. Email any contribu- for Irish soccer fans, but the way the break. Surprising then that it a “technical error” they had been even worse. in which FIFA played such a display of incompotence tions to [email protected], with Sports was this point that things went a unfairly penalised and so should The two sides drew 1-1 major role in their exit from the that left many prominent cropper for the men from Taskent. be awarded a 3-0 win. The annoy- in a re-scheduled match on 8 Features as the subject, and include your competition should cause raised Though they successful- ance at being denied what would October before Bahrain held on to Uzbekis questioning their eyebrows among any fair-minded name if you’d like a by-line. ly converted the penalty, Japanese have been close to an unassailable secure a 0-0 draw in the second future in the AFF. football supporters. referee Toshimitsu Yoshida disal- lead for the second leg, clearly leg to progress. Uzbekistan had Breaking The Rules, Aussie Style Search for a new foot on a rugby pitch. Last Lockhart admits he and his team- back if you will to last year’s Jason Bensohn year Ireland were able to counter mates were “bullied” by the oppo- Second Test at Croke Park, when the Australians’ size by outrunning sition, it was the intention of the the variety of entertainments on It’s a funny old game, International and outplaying them all over the Irish side to really take it to their display ranged from a thirty man Rules. Ireland absolutely demol- park, so they will be alarmed to antipodean opponents. The brawl (about an effeminate ished the Aussies at Croke Park last note the ease with which their Australians, however, were deter- Australian ponytail) before the start Captain Fantastic year, with an exciting blend of opponents managed to run around mined not to be outdone in any area of the match to a white dog who pace, skill and opportunism, and them, as well as straight over them of play, legal or illegal, and it ranged around the pitch for most of in last month’s games against centre also opened up the way for yet over the last two fixtures they this year. would appear, that Ireland can’t the first two quarters prior to being Andrew Payne Cyprus and Switzerland. He is of Damien Duff to play in his natural have been humbled by a convict Having lost the first Test even win the fist-fights, let alone apprehended by the least popular After months of wondering, course however rooted to the goal- left wing position for Ireland. As team that was clearly superior in by a Irish record of 36 points (100 the match or the series. In fact, one official in the history of Ireland’s World Cup campaign mouth, a fact that takes from his perhaps our most talented player every area of play. The Australians must question the entire build-up of International Rules. All this was came to an end in less than case to a large extent as goalkeep- there is an argument that Duff the Irish team to the second test. followed by an exciting match thrilling fashion with a miserable ers have rarely proven the most could be given the honour to lead Rather than go all out and at least which Ireland eventually won with fourth place group finish. The effective of on-field leaders. by example - it is however a high- attempt a win of sorts in the match, ease, and a great day was had by all team’s lowest finish in the qualify- If not Shay then who ly unlikely proposition. Duff does they appeared to have given the of the 60,000 in attendance. The ing rounds for a major champi- else to lead the team? A few not tend to lead on the pitch series up for dead and only trained series must be allowed to continue, onship in twenty years led to the potential candidates spring to vocally and his recent internation- once in the week leading up to the and it is clearly in the interests of FAI opting against renewing Brian mind. For starters how about Matt al perforances haven’t set the deciding match. This is hardly the the organisers and players to ensure Kerr’s contract. The hype sur- Holland, Kevin Kilbane, or as an world on fire to the extent that he way to beat an intensely prepared that the contact rules are tightened rounding Kerr’s exit has some- outside candidate Damien Duff? is clearly capable of. The same team like Australia, and certainly up and that punishments for what overshadowed another major First Holland.After the reservations would quieten any not the best remedy for one of offenders are suitably harsh. departure however. Korea/Japan World Cup Holland argument for Robbie Keane. Ireland’s biggest problems in the Ireland’s nil-all draw at would have appeared a strong can- Who then should be the first Test; that being their reliance Lansdowne Road with didate for future Ireland captain. new captain? The answer as far as on the individual talent of players Switzerland marked the end of His equaliser against Cameroon in I am concerned is Richard Dunne. like Brendan Coulter, Ronan Kenny Cunningham’s Ireland Ireland’s opening group match A member of Brian Kerr’s under- Clarke and Tom Kelly, rather than career and the vacation of the was a trademark Holland strike, an 18 European Championship win- good interchanging and playing as team’s captaincy. A decision must excellent long range low drive. He ning side, Dunne has youth on his a team. now be made not only on who also played well in an Ireland side and has always impressed Tom Kelly Lies Prone After A High Tackle By The apparent motive will command the boys in green midfield with Mark Kinsella still when called upon by his country. behind this disastrous decision to off the pitch but a new leader will reeling from Roy Keane’s shock Even more importantly he is cur- Australia’s Russell Robertson give up on training was in order to also have to be appointed on the departure from the squad. He was rently playing well week in week bring some “freshness” to the team. field. however passed over in the race out for a talented Manchester City have clearly benefited from the – 64) thanks to a careful blend of Here again, Ireland seem to have Cunningham himself for the captaincy and with that his side and most important of all has presence of Irish coaches in their slack defence, slow attacking, way- missed one of Australia’s best tac- enjoyed an excellent career for the chances of ever taking the role this season been made club cap- backroom staff, and it looked as ward kicking and poor goalkeep- tics – good use of rolling substi- Republic. Following his debut at would seem to be gone. He has tain. The experience this will have though they had taken a leaf from ing, the Irish approached the sec- tutes. Australia constantly ensured the relatively experienced age of struggled to start of late for both brought is invaluable and makes Tyrone’s All-Ireland winning foot- ond with understandable trepida- they had fresh legs on the pitch, 24 away to the Czech Republic in club and country due to a mixture him a top candidate for the posi- ball side of this year, with rapid and tion. As it turned out, they needn’t and used their attackers in short, April 1996, Cunningham went on of both injuries and those ahead of tion. skilful ball handling combined with have bothered turning up for the explosive bursts, much like an ice to win 73 caps for is country. him in the pecking order.With When Ireland’s new great running lines, especially in match at all, and eventually lost 63 hockey team. Ireland, on the other Having originally made his name Keane’s retirement he may regain boss is appointed he will have a the midfield. They rarely risked points to 42, leaving them with a hand, looked tired and weary from as a full back, Kenny moved to his place in the centre of the park tough job ahead of of him. putting the ball to the boot, except massive aggregate deficit of 57. a very early stage. No one can the centre where he found a new but the captaincy is unlikely to Ireland’s fourth place seeding for when attempting to score. Their The Australians were argue with the fitness of any GAA lease of life and his last few sea- follow. the European Championships kicking, when executed, was accu- once again brutal in the tackle, and County representative – these boys sons have arguably been his The men most likely to qualifiers will ensure that. A good rate and incisive, and you could be Pete McGrath, Ireland the match at several times looked are professionals in all but one best.While he had to sit out most be vying with Holland for a cen- captain will make the job slightly forgiven for thinking that it was the Manager on the verge of degenerating into glaringly obvious respect, and they of the 2002 World Cup as Steve tral midfield place are Graham easier however and thre is no bet- plodding Irish boys who were more the mindless violence that has typi- dedicate their lives to training, but It is hard to impose strict Staunton and Gary Breen formed Kavanagh and Kevin Kilbane. ter man for the job than Richard used to playing with an oval ball fied International Rule matches in it is worth noting that they looked sanctions in a sport which is only a successful partnerhip in the cen- Although 31 year old Kavanagh Dunne. than a round one. the past. This was of course exact- shell-shocked and exhausted by the played twice a year, so one solution tre of the defensive, Cunningham has done well when called upon, To say that the ly what many among the blood- furious Australian onslaught. would be to enforce punishments was on the field as the team his mere 12 cap international cap Australians were far more aggres- hungry crowd had paid to see, and The Australian squad has within the domestic codes. Thus a crashed out to Spain in the second haul and age are likely to ount sive in the tackle than the Irish spectators definitely won’t have certainly put the terrible memories GAA or AFL player who is round. against him. Kilbane is a much would be to to put it excessively gone home disappointed, with of last year’s humiliation behind adjudged to have offended by an Staunton was to retire stronger candidate however. The mildly. Their superior proficiency Australian Co-Captain Chris them and brutally brought on 12 International Rules disciplinary from international football after 28 year old, despite his somewhat in contact situations (including Johnson red-carded for a spectacu- months of nightmares for the committee would be banned for x- that tournament and along with his indifferent recent performances in ‘To say that the Australians were far more GAA’s International Rules selec- number of games from playing for, place in the starting line up, the green shirt is the reigning FAI tion panel.In fact, questions have say, Kerry or the Sydney Swans. Player of the Year and in the aggressive in the tackle than the Irish would be Cunningham also claimed the cap- already been asked about the via- Though this might not be a popular tain’s armband. In his roll as cap- match against Cyprus overtook to to put it excessively mildly’ bility of the International Rules for- move, it makes sense for the two tain Kenny was regularly one of Packie Bonner’s record for most mat as an ongoing competitive fix- governing bodies to make sure the Ireland’s best players for the past consecutive appearences for ture as over the last two years the players who represent them over- 3 years and it is with much disap- Ireland.His move to centre mid- punch-ups) results from the rather larly painful looking hit on Philip winning side has completely out- seas every second year compete in pointment that Irish fans see him field has also broadly been a posi- more physical nature of AFL when Jordan in one of many overly phys- played the losers to produce com- a manner which presents their head into international retirement. tive one and places him in a posi- compared to football. It is also ical encounters. Remarkably, due prehensive victories, but it is sportsmanship in the best possible With Roy Keane also tion to command from the middle worth bearing in mind that many of to the strange rules of the hybrid important to bear in mind that last light. This would surely be a far hanging up the green jersey for of the pitch.There are sections of the Australians will have played sport, Australia were allowed to year the team on the end of a ham- more sensible solution than to the last time there would seem at the public whoever who do not either Rugby Union or Rugby replace their Captain following his mering were this year’s outstand- abandon the otherwise enjoyable first no immediate contender for think he should necessary be a League in their youth, and so will dismissal, effectively negating the ing performers. As long as the two code altogether, and would hope- the captaincy. For those who have first choice pick for the team’s be used to putting their weight impact that the red-card sanction coaching and selection panels con- fully prevent athletes, whether pro- considered the issue many peo- new manager, whoever that may behind a tackle and wrapping up would otherwise carry. tinue to adapt their teams and tac- fessional or amateur, from serious- ple’s favourite to take on the arm- be.The same worry may be their opponents in a way that it is What is worrying for tics and maintain their desire to ly damaging themselves and poten- band is Shay Given.The Donegal enough to stop whoever the new unfamiliar to many of the Irish Irish fans is that following on from win, this sport has an extremely tially ending their careers prema- man is of course an excellent boss is from giving him the hon- team, most of whom would rather last week’s miserable performance, healthy future. It is a truly brilliant, turely. player, a fact clearly demonstrated our. sell their souls to the devil than set in which Derryman Sean Marty if eclectic spectacle; cast your mind Kilbane’s move to the Man for the job? 26 Tuesday November 1st, 2005 Sports Features Editor: Theo O’Donnell SPORT FEATURES Trinity News A Difficult Year In The Heineken Cup For Irish Provinces

backline together? If last week- after the home defeat to Bath they contest, especially from Castres’ Getting possession could Theo O’Donnell end’s performance at the RDS will be lucky to make it to the former All Black prop, Kees well be their major stumbling against Bath was anything to go by, knockout stages. Although they Meeuws, who was far from impres- block, especially against a side like The Heineken Cup has they have a long, hard road ahead subjected Bourgoin to a humiliat- sive in Limerick. Antony Foley Biarritz. Though the French outfit never been an easy ride for the Irish of them. Some players certainly ing 96 – 13 thumping last year, the could well be the difference have lost Betsen to injury for the provinces. With the exception of shone, in particular former Trinity French side have new depth in their between the two sides – he’ll hold foreseeable future, they still boast Ulster at Lansdowne Road in 1999, DUFC Number 8 Jamie Heaslip squad and have confirmed they will the pack together and will be look- an impressive set of forwards with no side has yet managed to bring (recently called up to the Ireland be fielding full strength sides rather ing to extend his record as the high- the likes of Yannick Nyanga and home the European Bacon. International Quad along with than the semi-professionals who est scoring forward in the history of Imanol Harinordoquy. Leinster, for instance, have a long team-mate Robert Kearney), play- holidayed in Dublin last year. the competition. Biarritz will certainly and illustrious history of failing to ing in his European debut, but their Drawn in the group with Leinster A man with a point to remain unbeaten at home, with and Bath again, they will be keen to prove to Eddie O’Sullivan will be Yachivili guiding them and Damien ‘No European team has thrown more weight show their teeth, and having David Wallace, who has for several Traille hoofing them to victory, but and passion into the pursuit of bubbly remained undefeated at home in years been the best and most under- like French food they seem to go a domestic competitions for three rated flanker on this island, and bit mushy and soft as soon as they Heineken-soaked glory than Munster’ years they are unlikely to let down who, alongside team-mate Denis leave the Basque region. If Ulster their fans on French turf. Expect Leamy will be looking to force his can reverse this weekend's well live up to their potential and have failure to grasp a winning-try or a them to lose in Dublin, and possi- David Wallace Is a Key Man In Munster’s way into the strongest section of fought but ultimately disappointing developed a nasty habit of proving drop-goal to draw despite ten min- bly Bath, but to blow the crap out the current Ireland side. 33 - 19 away loss and grind out a to be exceptionally disappointing utes of persistent pressure at the of Glasgow in Scotland and hold Campaign The Dragons could well win at home, their chances of close of the 19 – 22 loss speaks vol- their own at home. ask questions of Munster, but emerging from this group with a on their expeditions onto foreign Payne. Although injuries – particu- tionals in two weeks time. The for- umes about their ability to be clini- Glasgow, bless ‘em, will expect the passion and desire ema- place in the quarter-finals look soil. No European team has thrown larly to the immensely effective wards out-performed their oppo- cal and seize a game that’s theirs undoubtedly be the whipping boys nating from Limerick to steam-roll good. more weight and passion into the and influential Paul O’Connell – nents all over the park, particularly for the taking. Perhaps the most of this group. Lamont is just about the Welsh pretenders into European Saracens, though boast- pursuit of bubbly Heineken-soaked could hurt Munster, the loss of in the mauls, one of which was infuriating aspect of the defeat was their only player of note, and apart oblivion. Munster ought to make it ing an impressive line-up of former glory than Munster, from the days Cullen and the ever-aging Mullins driven 20 metres for Flannery's try. Leinster’s failure (on several occa- from him they are a side remark- out of this group, and if they do internationals (the key word there of Mick Galwey and Peter could be blessings in disguise for a In fact no Munster player failed to sions) to score tries out wide, ably lacking in talent, despite their they will have a good chance of is former) like Taine Randell, Clohessy to those of Big Jim backline that for so long has placed show up, with good tries scored out remarkable win over a strong progressing to the semi-finals, Kyran Bracken, Cobus Visagie and too many eggs in shaky, underper- wide by both wings, and moments Munster side in the Celtic League a whoever their opponents may be. class players like Thomas forming baskets. of individual brilliance in midfield few weeks back. Prepare to watch They will have learned their lesson Castagniede, always seem to strug- Munster will not look to like that which resulted in South them get absolutely schooled by from last year’s painful defeat in gle, whoever their opposition and use too much trickery with the ball African Halstead's try. everyone they come up against. Biarritz when they really should whatever the competition. out wide, but some good angles One area of concern will Bath should win their home games, have done better, and will have the Currently lounging around mid- from big men like Trevor Halstead, be the ease with which Castres out- though both Leinster and Brougoin confidence to force themselves on table in the Guinness Premiership John Kelly and Anthony Horgan half Teulet slid over for his try at a may be tricky if they front up prop- through the knock-out stages. Of in their usual lethargic fashion, combined with solid set-piece play time when the result was far from erly, but with the wind up their all the Irish sides involved, perhaps expect Ulster to glide past them and good kicking could will see certain, but it was a rare lapse in an backs after the win in Dublin, they they have the best chance, but can with ease. They struggled this them overcome their early defeat to otherwise impressively sturdy may have what it takes to emerge they really go all the way? Munster, weekend against Treviso, and are Sale. In fairness to them, Munster defensive line. Eddie O'Sullivan from this group as the victors. as ever, will certainly believe they unlikely to provide any meaningful were well on top in the first half, will take a lot of heart from Leinster must seek bonus-point can. opposition to Ulster's first credible wins at home and in Glasgow, and ‘Munster and Ulster could make huge strides Ulster could well be a onsluaght on the heights of must look to take at least a bonus team to watch this year. After a European rugby for some time. point from each of their games on in Europe with just a little improvement’ brilliant start to their Celtic League Treviso are a good Italian the road at Bourgoin and Bath. It’ll campaign (bar the disappointing side, of that there is no doubt. but they allowed Sale to roll out the Munster's impressive performance, certainly be an uphill struggle, but defeat to Leinster in Dublin), confi- Unfortunately for them, that still panzers and blitz them for much of particularly as O'Gara was on good a big win in Glasgow on Sunday dence will be flying high, and it is means they are small fry on the the second. Expect a different story form in his first meaningful post- would certainly help put them back well founded. They boast an European stage. Led by the multi- in Limerick though, as Munster Lions Tour outing with some great Another Year Of Broken Irish Hearts? on track. impressive tight five, particularly talented Troncon, they will be an aren’t likely to allow Sale any room playmaking at out-half, and some despite having a one or two man Its hard to see Leinster with the addition of Australian entertaining side to watch, but are Williams and now Antony Foley, to breathe in front of their home incisive flat passes to the outside overlap. Bath’s frail defence was going beyond the quarter-finals international Justin Harrison along- unlikely to cause Ulster too many but then no team on earth has fans. Watching Robinson get flat- backs. exposed by a beauty of a pass from even if they make it out of the side the likes of Simon Best, and problems at Ravenhill or in Italy. endured such years of heartbreak as tened will be fun. Munster in Castres? This Gordon D’Arcy to put Contepomi group, though by then their infuri- there should be no shortage of All in all, it could be a great year they have in tense and ultimately The boys in red should one’s harder to pick than a broken through for the Irish side’s only try ating backline will hopefully have grunt in the close games. Neil Best for the Irish provinces in Europe, disappointing finals, semis and extend their already incredible nose. The two sides have faced earlier in the match, but chances to been bolstered by the return of both is having a terrific season and will and Munster and Ulster in particu- quarters over the last six years or unbeaten record at Thomond Park each other nine times in the open them up again were spoiled Hickie and O’Driscoll. be delighted to have been rewarded lar could make huge strides with so. Ulster, for their part, have never in the Heineken Cup, especially Heineken Cup, with six of the time and again, either by bad hands Munster have a tough with an Ireland call up, as will cen- just a little improvement. Appalling been able to repeat their awesome following this Saturday's well- results going Munster's way, and a or poor option taking from the group, but overlook them at your tre Andrew Trimble, who adds performances by favorites like achievement and have continued to worked 42 - 16 win over Castres. trip to France holds no fear for the Argentinian, who was slightly dis- peril. One aspect that could poten- some youth and invention as a Leicester and Wasps could well disappoint many a brave Munster's pack was working well, Munster squad, nor for their huge appointing at out-half. When a side tially lead them to success this year counterpoint to Kevin Maggs’ herald a much more open competi- Northerner, failing several times to and Shannon's Jerry Flannery, com- army of impressively merry travel- whose major strength is allegedly is the new look they have about mind-numbingly boring – but tion than previously expected, emerge from their group in the pool ing in at hooker for the injured ling fans – the best in European its backline is given time, space their squad. The key men are still in effective – running. Isaac Boss though Toulouse are still very stages. The question is this – could Frankie Sheahan, was particularly sport, without doubt. Munster have and an overlap, yet fails to cross the place, notably O’Callaghan, looks nifty at scrum-half, and much the team to beat in this spec- this year be different? impressive both at set-piece on in won on Castres' home turf once line, then something is misfiring, Wallace and captain Antony Foley Humphries is nothing if not reliable tacular competition. Keep your fin- Will Leinster overcome the loose. O'Callaghan, Leamy, before, back in 2000, and will be and badly. This is stuff that school- in the pack, with O’Gara and at out-half, so expect Ulster to gers crossed for what could be a the massive loss of experienced Wallace and Foley all stuck their keen to replicate what was an awe- boys can do with ease. Stringer running the game in the work well in the backs when they vintage year for Irish teams. players like Byrne, Corrigan and hands up as well, and all put for- some comeback performance. Leinster will certainly be backs. Other players have get enough ball, particularly with (don’t laugh) Costello? Will they ward a great argument for their Expect a much closer game than glad that they don’t have the tough- impressed recently as well, particu- the youth of Tommy Bowe and cope without O’Driscoll to hold the selction for the upcoming interna- Saturday's, and a hugely physical est group in the competition, but larly Denis Leamy and Shaun experience of Tyrone Howe. Sports Editor: Peter Henry Tuesday November 1, 2005 27 Trinity News SPORT Croquet Club draw Herbert Park Conor Broderick Broderick vs Barklie (26-2) to construct a four hoop break to Short Sport In what would be the only 26 point bring the match back to parity. As game of the afternoon Broderick time was called M Brosnan hit in to Dublin University CC 3 started with seven bisques in accor- provide an exciting finish. She Herbert Park CC 3 dance with the disparity of the two managed to get in position and run players’ handicaps. Having utilised one final hoop to win by the slen- With recent encounters between three of the free shots to execute an derest of margins. (9-10) Donagher Report the two clubs being evenly contest- eleven hoop break on ball one was left to rue some missed ed, it was hoped that the match Broderick was in a strong position, chances but had to bow to the with Herbert Park Croquet Club on with a rush established for ball two excellent play of Brosnan. Herbert Saturday 22 October would be and his opponent split. Barklie, Park restored their advantage to DU Boat Club ex- equally exciting. The two teams however managed to hit in from take the lead at 3-2. were composed of four players thirty yards in an incredible shot Kelleher vs B Brosnan (11-7) each. Alan Donagher, Jamie Burke, which saw him set about building a In what was to be the final game of Captain banned Daniel Kelleher and Conor break which only came to an end the afternoon, Kelleher had to win Broderick represented Dublin with an unfortunate missed hoop at to keep Trinity from losing the tie. NUI Galway’s men’s intermediate a University Pink, had been stroke University. Herbert Park was rep- hoop three. From there Broderick This was a lot of pressure for some- eight was recently disqualified man in the Galway eight. He resented by Robert Barklie FTCD, was able to hit in and to again body who was making their debut from its win at the Irish achieved his previous status- Redmond Holloway, Bill Brosnan utilise two bisques to execute a for the club. Both players were Championships in July. The breaking wins while rowing with and Monica Brosnan. twelve hoop break and to peel ball evenly matched, playing off a strong crew, who beat Queen’s successful Trinity crews. The match was to be one through the rover hoop before Seveteen handicap, so it would University, Belfast, by two and a NUI Galway Boat Club decided over two games of doubles pegging out to record Dublin prove to be a tight game and a fit- half lengths, was found to have was fined €500 by the Irish and four afternoon singles matches. University’s first win of the day ting climax to the day’s play. contained an illegal rower. Amateur Rowing Union for A strong start was desired by and to bring the scores to 2-1 in Brosnan got off to a good start and The crew member, inel- breaching the status rules. The Trinity in order to stave off an favour of Herbert Park. established a small lead over igible by virtue of having previ- Union also suspended King from expected onslaught in the after- In the aftermath, Kelleher. There was never much ously won a certain number of competitive rowing until noon singles matches. Broderick Broderick’s handicap was reduced between the two players and as the races at senior and intermediate December 31, 2006. The disquali- and Kelleher paired off against two shots to a Five which marks a game approached time there was level, was recent Trinity graduate fication was made known in an Barklie and B Brosnan in game one six shot improvement in the last only one hoop between them. Stuart King. King, former Captain email from the Union on 10 of the doubles, with Burke and two months. Brosnan held the lead with balls at of the DU Boat Club and holder of October. Donagher pairing off against Burke vs Holloway (10-6) rover and hoop three, with Kelleher Holloway and M Brosnan in the With Jamie Burke being the most attempting to run both balls second game. exciting prospect in the University through hoop four. As time Best Ladies’ Club? Broderick & Kelleher vs Barklie Croquet Club for some time, this approached Kelleher made the play This week’s Students’ Union and the Club needs to justify itself & B Brosnan (7-13) game was always going to be a key of the morning by peeling ball one newspaper carried a gushing arti- in the upcoming season if it is to In the first game, Broderick and result. The experience of Holloway through its hoop before taking cle about the DU Ladies’ Boat hold on to the Best Ladies’ Club Kelleher struggled to gain a made him favourite for the tie but another two hoops with his ball in Club, pointing out that they are trophy. It may not be difficult: foothold in a game that was rarely Burke excelled himself, making a play. With time running out “holders of the Best Ladies (sic) there are only eight Clubs which out of the control of the Herbert four hoop break on the way to Brosnan was unable to hit in and Sports Club Award for the past will not accept male members (not Park pair. Barklie produced a fine establishing an early 7-1 lead. Kelleher held on for what will be a two years”. It should be pointed counting the DU Heraeans) and break and set up his partner ball to Burkes approach shot on the sec- memorable victory for the team. out that despite being the holders only the Ladies’ Boat Club, establish a commanding lead mid- ond hoop set him up for a memo- Kelleher showed great of this award, the Ladies’ Boat Ladies’ Football Club and Ladies’ way through the game. Despite a rable break which displayed some composure to win and succeeded in Club won no regattas in 2005. Hockey Club seem to maintain late charge by Broderick, Herbert of the shots which he has devel- levelling the score at 3-3. All in all Attendance at international regat- any existence separate to their Park emerged as comfortable win- oped over the last season since his it was a fair result for the morning’s tas is not an achievement in itself, male counterparts. ners. arrival on the team. The game was play. Both sides exhibited some Burke & Donagher vs Holloway far from over though, and saw great moments, displaying some & M Brosnan (5-7) Holloway climbing his way back peel shots and some breaks along DULTC wipe the In game two, DU started off on a into it with a series of hoops the way. more promising note, with scored, but it wasn’t to be enough. The exciting climax Donagher seizing the opportunity Burke held out for the win with marked a most impressive baptism floor with UCD to establish an early three hoop time called, and registered another of fire for Kelleher. In his debut for On Monday, 2 October, DU Lawn Spollen won 6-0, 6-1; Cosgrave lead. The remainder of the match point for the University side. Trinity he excelled himself, pulling Tennis Club’s first team beat won 6-0, 6-2. Kirk and Fujiwara produced a tense affair in which Donagher vs M Brosnan (9-10) off the most memorable play of the UCD’s second team in an at-home paired off against UCD, winning Trinity remained slightly ahead. This game proved to be a real bat- day, even managing to peel a ball game of the Dublin Floodlit 6-3, 6-1. All matches were fin- With time approaching it was left tle with both players showing some in the course of a three hoop break! League. Trinity will not face ished within thirty-five minutes, to Holloway to hit an excellent great approach play through the DU Croquet Club can UCD’s first tennis team until showing the strength of Trinity’s long shot and produce a well timed course of the game. M Brosnan take heart from their performance, February’s Intervarsities, which first team. The next game is three hoop break to deprive the established a commanding lead with the Club continually raising will be hosted here in College. tomorrow (Wednesday 2 Trin of victory. from early on and never really the bar over the last two years: we DU’s team last Monday was November) against bottom-of-the- With two defeats in the looked like surrendering it to an have seen the development of sev- David Spollen (Captain), Patrick table Swords, which will be morning doubles the afternoon did- opponent that was out of sorts. eral of the players, with handicaps Cosgrave, James Kirk and Kei played at-home. n’t augur well for a team that had Donagher has been a consistent being lowered and with higher Fujiwara. In their singles matches, so far struggled to find its rhythm performer in the University team standards being achieved through- and form. After a brief respite and but struggled to find his rhythm out the club. a sampling of the hospitality of the through the encounter. With time For contact information Herbert Park team, the draw was running out, Donagher found his and an explanation of the rules see Croquet Club and made for the singles games. form and mounted a late challenge www.tcd.ie/clubs/croquet. Conor Broderick training in New Square photo: Peter Henry New Square lawn The Captain of the Croquet Club sit on the crease. Similarly it is 100 years ago in College Sport was recently reported as saying inappropriate for the Croquet Club that the Croquet Club is “totally Captain to be “totally fine” with Boat Club those who intend taking part in the not expected. There are two expla- right time, and had the satisfaction Donnybrook, and is fairly conven- fine” with the proposal to open American tourists and anyone else New Square for everyone and sitting in the middle of a facility For the past two weeks rowing has coming term races should notify to nations of Saturday’s débacle, with of seeing goals scored directly ient, being near the Rathfarnham anyone to sit on. It would be which requires care and attention. been in full swing at Island Bridge, the Captain their intention of doing regard to the 1st Eleven at least – from their passes. The halves were and Kenilworth Road tram lines. unimaginable for the Cricket Club If the the proposal is passed, any and we find ourselves on the brink so immediately, and also the days either the certainty of gaining two on good behaviour, Robinson, To-day we play Three Captain to invite the hordes of hopes for a higher quality and of another rowing year. What the on which they will be able to attend points made the team over-confi- playing a fine game in the centre, Rock Rovers, at Foxrock. As drinkers using the Pavilion Bar more level lawn in the future can fates have in store for us, who can for practice, as the crews will be dent and contemptuous of their was responsible for at least two of regards the result, it lies with every (many of who are non-students) to be forgotten. tell? The success or failure of a picked within the next week. opponents’ capabilities, or else they the scores; Sherlock (till he was member of the team. rowing season is, perhaps more The Annual Boat Club were all suffering from some hurt), and Young did well. The lat- than in the case of any other sport, Dance will this year be held in the lethargic disease. There was hardly ter, with more experience of senior Harriers dependent on the keenness and Graduates’ Memorial Buildings, by a spark of life among the forwards, hockey, should make a good half. the kind permission of the Board, with the exception, perhaps, of C He must resist the temptation, how- At the opening of the season 1905- energy displayed by junior mem- 6 it may be well to chronicle the Proud Moments for bers. and of the Societies, on 15th of Finny and Elliott, both of whom, ever alluring, of stopping the ball December. The number of tickets is however, have played much better. with his stick as it flies over his doings of the DUH last season, The number of new which was, on the whole, a suc- members is quite up to the average, strictly limited to 170. The three insides all lacked vigour head. McCormick was steady, but and dash. Dilworth is too fond of Carey tried to be brilliant, and cessful one. We secured a rather Trinity’s Boxing Club and the form displayed at this early easy victory over the United dribbling back towards his own sometimes failed. He and, indeed, program which gives boxing stage quite promising. At the same Rugby Football Notes Hospitals H and H, at Dundrum, by Eoin Sheridan goal instead of going straight ahead all backs, should make it their aim enthusiasts a chance to box and time we would commend to the We regret to have to chronicle our 25 points to 39. The team that trav- without waiting; he is also rather to “get possession” before trying to DU Amateur Boxing Club reached train in some of the best gyms in junior members the fact that an first defeat this season. On elled to Edinburgh to do duty inclined to pass to the opposing feed their forwards. It is almost a further high this past week as a the world. While in New York increased display of energy, in Saturday, with a rather weak team – against the EUH and H, though the half instead of to his wing partners. impossible to “rob” a forward and Trinity graduate and boxer fought Scott has two fights and will train securing new members, and in Casement, Thrift, Caddell, and greater part of those originally Page, though out of his place, was pass the ball all in one stroke; it is for Ireland for the second time. with many famous names from making known the joys and glories Robinson being absent – we were selected could not cross, ran well, a little disappointing. Fottrell has much better, and less dangerous, to Arran Sadlier, who finished his both Tysonís corner and Hagglers, of rowing among Freshmen enter- beaten by Lansdowne FC by 13 although losing the match by 24 been seen to much greater advan- get the ball under control first, and degree in Computer Science last to name a couple. Both Arran and ing College, would not only benefit points to 11. The backs, on the points to 14. The Club also finished tage. The halves were all off their then pass to your half or forward. year, represented Ireland twice in David are great boxers and it’s a number of our fellow-creatures, whole, played well; Parke secured a team in the Junior Cross-Country game, Lambkin being the best. However, this does not mean that Canada in the past week. On both great to see such success from the but at the same time materially a most brilliant try, and Huggard’s National Championships. Griffith has all the appearance of backs should “dribble” more than a accounts he fought brilliantly College club. assist the cause of the Club to defensive work was excellent. Of The season which has being a very useful man, and has few yards. Moloney had a dull time against Canada’s number one The Club’s first table quiz of which we all owe so much. the forwards, Sugars, Acheson, and now begun ought to be a very suc- plenty of dash; but he has still to in goal, and he is accused of being boxer in the 60kg weight class. the year was on last Thursday night As is universally recog- De Courcey were the most promi- cessful one for the Club, as practi- learn that more knack and less the instigator of the dog-fight that Unfortunately, Arran lost the first and was well attended. There were nised in the sporting world, rowing nent, but, in our opinion, their tac- cally all last season’s members are force will send the ball just as far drifted across the ground during the bout on points and despite an out- great prizes which led to people in Ireland has advanced by leaps tics in keeping in the ball during available, and there are quite a and much more accurately. The 2nd game. standing effort narrowly lost the doing anything to get their hands and bounds in the past few years; the first half were ill-considered. number of new members as well. Eleven, too, was off colour. Phibbs The 2nd beat Croydon by second, although some present on them, including stripping, and it rests with the Freshmen The backs, although not at full The best run so far took and Boyce, though a steady pair of 4 goals to nil. The win would have though it was perhaps a home town singing and sexy dancing; although entering College, and the Junior strength, were well able to cope place last Saturday from backs, both lack speed. Robertson been more decided had the for- decision. Despite his loss the tour- not all that sexy! Club President members of the Club, to see that with the Lansdowne backs, but Clonskeagh, when there was a was the best of the forwards. It is to wards taken a reasonable per-cent- nament was a massive success and Michael McClure came along and the University Boat Club will con- there is very little question but that large turnout. The hares led the be hoped that last Saturday’s per- age of their chances; in fact, the raised over 120,000 Canadian dol- made the night that bit more spe- tinue to hold, in the future, the the opposing forwards were superi- pack across a nice stretch of coun- formances will not be repeated. halves became so exasperated that lars for charities. Six Irish boxers cial. The event raised over €1000 proud position which it has always or. try towards Dundrum, and ended a one of them shot a goal to try and traveled over and fought in two for the Niall Mellon Township occupied in the past. On the same day the 2nd course of about six miles by a run arouse the jealousy of the forwards. contests. Ireland lost the first night Foundation which Coach Dan It is absolutely necessary XV beat Landsdowne 2nd by 1 Hockey Club of a mile home on the road. The team must settle down. They 4-1 and won the second night 3-2. Curran is taking part in. The money that all new members should attend goal 2 tries to nil. The victory was The 1st XI, last Saturday, were by Mecredy finished a few minutes want practise, and they won’t prac- It was a great trip for all involved will help cover the cost of Dan’s regularly for the next month, in largely due to the forwards, who no means sanguine of beating after the hares, and some of the tise, so their blood will be on their and vital experience for Arran, who flight to South Africa on Friday order to endeavour to learn as showed their best form so far this Monkstown, on the latter’s ground, new members also showed good own heads if they come to be beat- we can expect to see a lot more of where he will build houses for much as possible about rowing season. and consequently the team played form. en. in the future. impoverished communities. The before the term races, which have The 3rd XV played their best game this season, and Extracts taken from The 3rd XI could not find Well-known lecturer and night was finished with the team been fixed for the 12th, 13th, and Clontarf 3rd on Saturday, and won by 5 goals (Gregg 2, Dunlop TCD: A College Miscellany, No any victims, and had a day off, Trinity boxer, Prof David Scott entered by the DU Boat Club tak- 14th of December. It may not be Blackrock Past and Present on 2, Dagg 1) to nil. Trinity frequently 194 (1905). Last issue’s extracts while 3rd A won, as they casually FTCD from the Department of ing home the grand prize of 400 out of place to remind them that the Monday. They are still unbeaten. suffers from over-confidence, and were taken from No 193, not 194 as said, by “7 or 8”. French is responsible for the sec- euro worth of travel vouchers art of rowing is not learnt in a few as frequently we do not do our- indicated. At last we have obtained ond proud moment for the Boxing donated by Panorama Travel. For outings, and it is only by constant selves justice. In the game on possession of our new ground at Club in the past week. Currently in those who missed the night we practise and unqualified attention Association Football Saturday the forwards had much Kenilworth Park, and it will soon New York, Prof Scott is boxing in hope to have another quiz during to the coach’s directions, that any- Last Saturday was a day of disap- more combination than usual. The be in order. It has a much more part of a new program called the year. one can hope to become a really pointed hopes. The defeat of both outside forwards “centred” at the good oar. It is requested that all 1st and 2nd Elevens was certainly even surface than our late ground at “White Collar Boxing”. It is a great 28 Tuesday November 1, 2005 Sports Editor: Peter Henry SPORT Trinity News A Need for Speed, Salt and Windswept Hair? Karina Finegan Alves you up and zooming along on your knots, but a breeze is sufficient if first day. As long as the board and all you’re looking to do is move. sail are the right size for you, it’s a When you learn the basics and can Windsurfing is the most underrated cinch. handle the sail well enough, you sport in College. My efforts to If you can’t swim then can go out in winds of over fifteen relieve newcomers of a mere €4 of you should be ashamed of yourself knots, which (in laymen’s terms) their parents’ money were met with – you live on an island – and you means going really really fast. singular resistance in Freshers’ need to learn how. But if (as is Besides speed, one of the advan- Week. I was disdainfully eyeballed more common), you are not a tages windsurfing has over surfing and verbally attacked with the likes ‘strong swimmer’ you needn’t is air time; jumps are somewhat of, “Can you honestly see me wind- worry. On the regular trips to limited on a surfboard. An experi- surfing?!” or “God no, I’m far too Malahide the water is only about enced windsurfer can hit a wave weak” or “I’m not a strong swim- 4ft deep and in any case we make head on and propel themselves fif- mer.” None of which are valid you wear a buoyancy aid. teen feet or more into the air, but if arguments against joining the It is not a dangerous hang-time is what floats your boat, Windsurfing Club. I was stunned sport; base jumping, speed skiing turn to kite-surfing. Better yet, into a relatively silent state by the and street luging are all examples found a Trinity kite-surfing club: (false) impressions that many of of dangerous sports, none of which one is needed. you held. Therefore, before I wax have clubs in College. Windsurfing True, the weather here lyrical on the wonders of windsurf- falls are generally cushy. Whereas leaves much to be desired, but an ing, I wish to quash a few myths. surfers may get run over and 8mm wetsuit and a good pair of Firstly, strength: it’s not mauled by other surfers due to bad boots keeps one relatively warm, as important. Most people think that visibility, this doesn’t happen to does the industrial waste that you need the arms of Arnie ze gov- windsurfers. Whereas surfers can graces the Malahide estuary. ernator, when in reality windsurf- suffer nasty blows to the head and Indeed the greatest danger to the ing is about balance and poise. body if they fall badly and their Trinity windsurfer is the projectile Think ballet, not boxing. boards whack into them; for wind- vomiting and instant death that fol- Admittedly, professional wind- surfers this is less of a danger, not lows even the tiniest gulp of estu- surfers do look like they’ve spent least because wearing a helmet is ary water. their lives at the gym, but that’s an option. This is not to malign On a different note, if because windsurfing is all they do, surfing, just to say that windsurfing it is fame and glory you crave, join whereas studying serves as a fan- is the safer option for anyone wor- the ruggers, the rowers or the tastic regulating force, keeping us ried about concussions, bruising or ladies’ hockey team. The wind- student-shaped (i.e. weak and fee- broken bones. surfers enter very few competi- ble). Windsurfing is addictive tions. Most of us are crazy-haired Windsurfing is not diffi- primarily because of the speed fac- adrenaline junkies who are in it for cult to learn; the Club boasts three tor; for beginners optimal wind is the buzz trained professionals who will have anywhere between three and six A “crazy-haired adrenaline junkie” on a sunny day in Malahide Photo: Karina Finegan Alves New Faces in the DU Ultimate Club in first Central Athletic Club trips of Michaelmas much less experienced team, which we won comfortably. The Peter Henry Hartnett at the meeting. Thomas O’Connell Marie-Therese Bolger of which included two beginners, plate final saw us meeting DIT for the Ladies’ Football Club replaced improved as the day progressed, the second time and we went into Last Thursday’s AGM of the Liam Murray as Secretary of the The weekend of the 22/23 October and went on to win our next two the game confident we could win. Central Athletic Club was conduct- Sports Facilities Committee. saw the first tournament of the games against DIT and “Stirling This was our closest game of the ed quickly and efficiently, and There was one person Irish Ultimate Frisbee Calendar Blaze” to finish second in our weekend and the end result was 7- thankfully did not drag on late into nominated for one of the eight and Cork’s “Skulltimate” were group. 5 in our favour. the night. Most attendees were Pavilion Member spots on the hosts. Nine Trinity players made Drawn against UCD for In the overall final, there to run for positions on the Executive Committee. Alan the journey south to the rebel our crossover match, this tense defending champions Johnny committees, or to vote for their O’Cais, last year’s Captain of the county with high hopes of bringing game tested both teams’ abilities Chimpo retained their title in a friends. DU Amateur Boxing Club, home some silverware. and unfortunately our old rivals close game against “Broccoli”. Ruth Collins stepped replaced Bart Connolly, who also Sixteen teams from all came out the victors. This con- Cork Open 2005 was a down as Hon Secretary, a position ended his term on the College over Europe came to compete, demned us to the lower eight teams great weekend for DU Ultimate, she had held for several years. Two Board this year. including teams from Belgium, and we’d have to be content to with some silverware added to the people stood for the position: The Club representative Scotland and Italy, not to mention play for the plate on Sunday. cabinet. Congratulations to our Pamela Fitzgerald (Camogie) and positions are always the most hotly Dublin’s very own all ladies’ team, Although we were bat- MVP, David Misstear, who put on Marie-Therese Bolger (Ladies’ contested, and this year ten stu- “Maith An Cailín”. Coming from tered and bruised from our day’s a great display all weekend with Football). Fitzgerald won by a dents went forward for the eight all directions, the teams gathered exploits, we were in high spirits some great diving catches and large majority; the five GAA clubs positions. Nominees were: Frank on Friday night in the Western Star getting ready for the Saturday interceptions. seem to do very well in College, O’Connor (Swimming), Michael pub to start the weekend in style. night party which had the fancy DU Ultimate has just last year getting three members Hyland (Hurling), Niamh Smith Next morning, we made our way dress theme of “movies”. Being spent the weekend at the onto the DUCAC executive, and (Surf and Bodyboarding), Kevin to the pitches at nine for an intense John Malkovich was our movie of Edinburgh Beginners’ managing to get their man in as Lally (Judo), Patrick O’Shea day of ultimate, comprising of four choice and our Malkovich masks Tournament, where twelve new Students’ Union President. (Amateur Boxing), Shane sixty minute games. went down a treat at the party. recruits got their first taste of Ben Hartnett stepped McVeigh (Gaelic Football), David First we took on Party Award winners “Maith An ultimate. down as Hon Treasurer after one Quinn (Lawn Tennis), Philip “Broccoli”, a team of experienced Cailín” dressed up as the cheer- To enquire about membership and year in the position. Hartnett last Balberni (Hockey), Niamh university graduates who went on leaders from Bring It On, and kept training times for this year contact year took the position which our O’Sullivan (Ladies’ Boat) and Paul to get to the final of the overall all the lads amused all night with the club on [email protected]. This new JD Emma Stokes resigned Lynn (Boat). Lally and Balberni competition. Needless to say, their “pom-poms”. year’s captain is Cian O’ Morain. from in 2004. The Dean of lost out in the vote. “Broccoli” took the game comfort- Our two games in our Engineering and Systems Sciences, ably, having some of Ireland’s best lead-up to the plate final were Voted out: Bart Connolly at the DUCAC AGM Photo: Peter Henry Dr John Brian Foley, replaced players in their side. However, our against DCU and Sligo IT, both of DUFC J3s at Clontarf Blitz third match as slight complacency David Robbie allowed Stillorgan to score the only Trinity J3s had their first outing of try of the game. The Coach’s gam- the season, competing in the Blitz ble of playing three complete new- in Clontarf on October 17 and comers in the same game proved to emerging with a creditable result of be a fatal miscalculation and two wins and two losses. It should although Trinity competed well for have been better as the students the last ten minutes they just could allowed a big but limited Clontarf not get back on even terms. team to use their only weapon, a The final game proved to rolling maul, to score the only try be the finest hour for the students of the game. Thereafter Trinity when a Wanderers team, hitherto gave as good as they got and only unbeaten, were given a sound beat- the bounce of the ball prevented an ing with right winger Finn Power equaliser from scrum-half Ralf skinning his opposite number for Heffron. three classic wingers’ tries in a The Blitz consists of very competent all round perform- matches of twenty minutes with no ance that saw the rattled Wanderers place kicking; the emphasis being side turning increasingly petulant. on open play. In their second game Last minute news: Trinity warmed to the task and DUFC’s first XV lost their AIL were worthy winners over a big match with last year’s league win- Lansdowne team that tested the ners Shannon RFC 19-6 last defence but proved vulnerable to Saturday on a miserable afternoon the straight running of the fitter in College Park. Trinity team with Dónal Salmon’s Colours match: uncomplicated style particularly DUFC will face UCD in the annu- catching the eye. al Colours match next Friday 11 A fifteen minute break November at Donnybrook. Kick proved Trinity’s undoing for the off is at 6:30pm. Disappointment: DUFC men come off the pitch after last Saturday’s match against Shannon RFC Photo: Peter Henry

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