Burma 2014

Day 1: Sunday 30th March - Transfer to Yangon

Panda hotel. We spend the afternoon getting our first taste of Burma. We head towards the riverside area, expecting something picturesque - wrong! The Yangon river port is a working port with all sorts of cargo being transported and the river itself is a dirty mud colour. We get our first insight into local conditions with numerous small "shops" set up in the side of the road, usually by families, selling food and small items.

We walk around the Chinese quarter and visit the Chinese Buddhist and Taoist temple, Kheng Hock Keong, originally built as a wooden temple in 1863 but rebuilt in 1903 in brick. From there, we work our way back to the hotel via many small back roads, and we get the first sense of the chaotic road system - lots of noise and no apparent rights of way.

We spend the evening with our 9 new travelling companions and share a very pleasant Chinese meal near the hotel.

Day 2: Monday 31st March - Yangon and transfer to Inle Lake

We are taken for a tour of Yangon - our drop off point is opposite the Sule Pagoda adjacent to a park containing an obelix standing on the site of a statue of Queen Elizabeth II, removed when Burma achieved independence in 1948. A local hawker initially shocked us by offering a basket of sparrows until Ko Ko explained that people buy them to release and make a wish. We then tour the city, which gives an insight into its colonial past; large buildings of differing architectural styles, now very run down and in need of repair. A good example of the contrasts of the city is the Strand Palace hotel which still looks "grand" and sits adjacent to a very run down, dirty building. Numerous families have established shelters and small holdings in the side alleys between the buildings, another illustration of relative poverty against the colonial past.

The visit to the is our first insight into how Buddhism is central to the lives of people in Burma. This is the most sacred of the Burmese shrines, said to contain relics of four past Buddhas, including 8 strands of hair of Gautama, the historical Buddha with a shrine said to have existed here for 2,600 years. Other accounts say this was built between the 6th and 10th centuries and fell into disrepair during the 14th century. It has been extended and built upon at various times since, including repairs for earthquake damage as recently as the 1970’s. The pagoda itself is 99 metres (325 ft) tall and covered in 60 tons of riveted gold plate, dominating a large area comprising more temples and stupas. There are four entrances representing the points of the compass, the usual array of book and artefact sellers, but mostly devotees.

We see families pouring water over Buddha statues; tradition is that on a birthday the age-equivalent number of cups is poured over the statue located in the area for the day of the week of the birthday. Eddy's is a guinea pig (Friday birthday animal) and Lorraine a tiger (for a Monday). Around 90% of the population is Buddhist and we are to find out later that all children go a monastery for a week long induction between the ages of 7 and 11. Monasteries also provide refuge and are in effect the fall back option for age and financial support.

Also of note is The Bell of King Tharawaddy. In 1841, King Tharawaddy donated a 42- ton bell called the Maha Tissada Gandha Bell containing 20 kilograms (44 lb) of gold- plating. Although he regularly prepared for war with the British, it was Tharawaddy’s son who oversaw the launch of the second Anglo-Burmese war in 1852 after his succession. Our bus wends its way to the Chaukhtatgyi Paya, which houses a 70 metre reclining Buddha statue, crowned by precious stones and diamonds. The feet are carved with the 108 symbols of the universe, confirming that this is a live pose of the Buddha. Where these are not represented on a reclining statue, this is a death pose.

We fly to Heho (some seem worried about it being propeller driven rather than a jet!?) and onward transfer to Nyaung Shwe and the Hupin hotel, where we are musically greeted by staff playing a large instrument containing a number of cymbals.

That evening, we walk through the town and settle on the Shin Yaw restaurant. Despite the Chelsea poster and one of the young servers wearing an Arsenal shirt, the food is good, especially the delicious pork and spring onion tempura. The staff are enthusiastic and friendly. Lorraine, Elspeth and I meet Trevor and Julia in the local bar, Kyang Kyang, which unusually serves draft beer, including a stout, ABC, which we try but decide to stick to lager.

Day 3: Tuesday 1st April - Inle Lake

An early start as we walk to the jetty for a day on Inle Lake, travelling by longtail boat in three groups of four. On setting off our first encounter is with fishermen standing upright on the back of their boats posing with their paddles and conical fishing baskets, which are traditionally used in shallower waters. The suspicion is that this initial encounter is no with true fishermen, but tourist traps - the only English word we could hear was "money". During the rest of the journey however, we meet many “true” fishermen using this unusual padding style using their legs to control the boat.

After a 45 minute journey our first stop is the Paung Daw Oo pagoda, which contains 5 Buddhas recovered from the sea following an earthquake. However, so much gold leaf has been pasted on them they are little more than blobs and it is not possible to make out any mortal features on any of them – and gold leaf continues to be added by worshippers.

Our next stop is at Inn Paw Khone, a floating village specialising in textile manufacture. As anticipated, the weaving is undertaken using small looms. Most noteworthy is the lady preparing lotus fibre for weaving, which is very laborious and quite rare so also expensive. This consists of pulling away 1" strips of the lotus stem, stretching the fibres, rolling them together and repeating many times until there is enough fibre to work with. This is a slow, laborious and wet process, yet the lady is very generous making small wrist bands for the ladies and being very concerned about how pink Elspeth's knees are from the sun (see her pointing in the picture). We are told that the produce is sold throughout Burma although some is exported. The ladies earn about $1.5 per day.

After a short ride we arrive at the next village, Nam Pan, which specialises in woodwork. The skilled worker is preparing a longtail boat with hand held drills and planes. No health and safety here and one of our group notices that the guy who has been talking us through the process has most of his fingertips missing. He explains this is a family enterprise and his father and grandfather are both carpenters. A mid-sized boat takes about two months to produce and costs $1500. Not surprisingly, these are made to order with half paid up front. These skilled workers earn about $5 per day. An engine will cost a further $500, so these are big investments for their owners. In addition to boat-making, all manner of carpentry is undertaken and we see doors being prepared with carved animals for sale. I show initial interest in an elephant, but when Lorraine seems less interested am told by the 7 or 8 year old girl seller that "it's alright to bargain"! I buy for K6,000 against an initial offer of K8,000 On the next leg of our journey, we see the floating gardens used for growing produce, such as tomatoes and vegetables. Literally, soil washed down from the higher plains as a result of deforestation is laid on the water so the roots will be well watered; bamboo sticks anchor the gardens to the riverbed and growers use boats to tend and pick the produce. The lake is said to be rising as these gardens can only be used for a year or two until the soil sinks.

Next is Kay Lar, where cheroots are made. These are the most common form of smoking and are slightly longer than cigarettes and all hand made with a combination of tobacco and wood shavings rolled into leaf, sometimes with flavouring such as anise. 8 ladies are skilfully preparing cheroot after cheroot for the princely wage of $1.5 per 1000.

After lunch, we go to the monastery at Nga Phe Kyaung, also known as the Jumping Cat monastery. A Buddhist monk previously inhabiting the monastery apparently trained cats to jump through hoops in order to raise money from tourists, which was stopped when locals complained. The monastery itself has little to commend itself and the only cats we saw were sleeping! The longtail boat speeds us back to the jetty, passing fishermen still working to bring in their catch. Lorraine and I think we deserve a late afternoon beer for our exertions and pop down to Shin Yaw.

This evening, back to Shin Yaw for another good dinner and a nightcap at Kyang Kyang, where we are almost locked in at 10 o'clock!

Day 4: Wednesday 2nd April - Inle Lake

Another longtail boat journey, this time taking a tributary to the Indein pagoda complex. On arrival, we are met by locals of all ages, but mainly children trying to sell scarves and postcards before we take the short hill climb to the complex. This comprises 1058 stupas in varying states of repair, built mainly in the 17th and 18th centuries. We are advised to be wary of snakes as we wend our way along what was the main road to Thailand during that time to marvel at the scale of the site. Thailand is said to have been invaded 6 times and the stupas built to mark victories. The more recently renovated stupas are often covered in gold leaf (or gold colour paint to mimic it) creating a vivid contrast with the dark, dull red brick of the untouched stupas.

We return to our boat for the journey to another monastery; as we approach, smaller boats move alongside with one or two in each boat trying to sell wares from fruit to silverware to wood carvings. As we disembark, the ladies are soon in their element - alongside the wooden monastery on stilts, this is a market with stalls arranged selling clothing, silverware, fruit and much more. Longhi's (traditional lower body dress for both men and women), puppets and silverware prove most popular amongst our group and Lorraine and I regularly meet our fellow travellers negotiating with sellers - both parties enjoying the business. As we leave, we have (or more accurately, Lorraine has) done our fair share of buying too including a very attractive two piece for Lorraine expertly negotiated, although I had not got the black and red Asian style shirt I had my eye on; after my initial offer was rejected, the owner followed me and we agreed that price just as I was getting back to the boat for our return journey. During one of the stops, we are introduced to four Padaung women; they wear an increasing number of metal coils on their necks, giving the impression of having long necks, although in fact the weight of the metal depresses the collarbone. The four only stay in this area during the tourist season to be photographed’ whilst this custom is dying out, it is still commonplace in certain parts. The coils are very heavy and girls start wearing them from 9, only removing parts to sleep. As they get older, the neck muscles become so weak the main coils cannot be removed for safety reasons. We see pictures and paintings of one of the ladies on a regular basis on our travels subsequently and they seem happy enough with many smiles. Still it somehow didn’t seem right to be encouraging this practise in any way and the Rough guide warns of tourism exploitation.

We also visit the Shwe Inn Tain pagoda complex where we see monks preparing for their lunch at around 11 so it is finished by 12 which will be their last meal of the day; one of the stories we are told is that if stones are found in the ashes of monks which have been cremated they are retained and considered evidence that that person has reached nirvana. We cynically believe they look like kidney stones…

Being back with the remainder of the afternoon to ourselves, 6 of us hire bicycles and ride the 3 miles to the Red Mountain winery, navigating the town and its no rules traffic being the most difficult part (although I would have missed the initial turning had Julia behind me not been more sharp-eyed). After a final hill climb (yes, we all had to get off for at least part), we sample 4 wines of differing quality for K2,000. Everyone agrees that the first was the best and we all buy one bottle of the Sauvignon Blanc for K10,000. As we leave, a few drops of rain add to the sense of adventure, but the rain does not take hold and we return safely.

We agree to wear our newly acquired local dress for this evening; Trevor takes the honours for his expertly worn longhi which trumps my newly acquired $6 shirt. However, the Thai restaurant was disappointing for cost, service and the food whilst, our having chosen to eat outside, the mosquitos have their own feast. A last drink at Shin Yaw sees the evening out.

Day 5: Thursday 3rd April - Train to Aung Bin and transfer to Kulaw

We leave for Nyuang Shwe station to get the 9.20 train, having been warned in advance that the local trains are both old and rickety (ex-Chinese stock) and liable to delays. The scheduled time is two hours. When we arrive, we are drawn to a truck containing a number of blue robed men in a truck guarded by police. Our guide tells us these are 80 prisoners being transferred to Mandalay prison and will occupy the two "standard" carriages; the train is being prepared by closing the windows which are then boarded up with bamboo to secure them. The overall trip for them will take over 8 hours as there is no direct train and our guide tells us we must not draw attention to ourselves or take photos - he later tells us that he could have lost his tourism licence had we disobeyed. No wonder he looked nervous when it was so obvious some of us wanted to get a picture. The police sensitivity is demonstrated when Sally is ushered to get back in the train when she looked out of the window to check on progress in loading the prisoners.

I ask Ko Ko about capital punishment, which he confirms is carried out. For murder? Not really, mainly extreme political activism. The train only has four carriages; with the prisoners occupying the two standard class, we are travelling in first class, the other carriage being for cargo. The large seats are comfortable even if the train is clearly very old. Anyone looking to travel standard class would have to travel first class; as the second of two trains that day, if not able to do so, they would have to wait until the following day. The train departs at 10.15, as advised when we arrived. So, late but on time!

The journey itself is slow and rickety as expected, and at the second of the two stops a family from grandparent to young girls get on selling food and wares. The youngest girls are very inquisitive, and intrigued by the crotchet which Ginny is doing. She offers the finished square to one of the girls to look at, who promptly takes it as a gift! Generously, Ginny allows her to keep it, despite it being the first completed square of a blanket for her soon to arrive first grandchild. The second girl then prompts Ginny to make one for her, which isn't possible. The girls were also very interested in my i-pod which I let them listen to –

although what they made of “Hallelujah” I’m not sure!.

After moving backwards and forwards a couple of times, all the family disembark and the train shuffles forward. The rest of the journey is uneventful if slow and we get good views of the arid countryside and pass a number of villages. It is clear that alongside the railway track is usually used as the refuse site. After a three hour trip for the 26 mile journey, we arrive at Aung Bin and stop at two sites before transfer to the Dream hotel in Kulaw, once again greeted by friendly staff.

The first site is a viewpoint, where we overlook Kulaw; Ko Ko tells us that this all used to be forest until the military expanded the village into a town. As a result, there is no longer any wildlife in the area - a portent of what might happen elsewhere in Burma and highlighted in the "Wild Burma" TV programme which most in our party have watched. Ko Ko points out our hotel - the green roofed building to the right. The second visit is to Myinmahti Buddhist shrine, a 350 metres long limestone cave, containing 1097 mainly small, new Buddha statues donated by people from all over the world, although there are a small number which date from the 12th century.

This evening, Ko Ko recommends Dream restaurant which all bar two agree to eat at. The food is good, but more expensive than we have become used to and the service slow. Four of us decide to find "Hi", a bar noted in a number of the guides. It is a very small bar with room only for about 20 and the island bar only just has room for the owner to serve. Despite warnings that the locals can be rude, we are made very welcome, with room made for us to sit together and when the guitars come out for the nightly jamming session, everyone joins in with gusto to the anthems being sung in Burmese, although some of the tunes sound familiar. "Take me home, country roads" is played for us and everyone knows the words! When invited to do something ourselves, I get through two verses of "Wild Rover" (with everyone clapping to the chorus) before the lead guitarist says he doesn't know the

tune and I am stood down! Or, was it my singing?

We notice money being put in a Chivas Regal box to rounds of applause. The owner explains that on Christmas Eve, 2003 an Irishman, Francis Murphy, started this tradition during a day-long session of 22 shots! The money was placed for requests of the guitarists but he stipulated it was not for the bar or the guitarists, rather to be provided to help those in genuine need. By the end of January, K50,000 had been raised and given directly to patients in the local hospital. This tradition has continued and today between K300,000 and K500,000 is handed out personally each month. This doesn’t sound credible with hindsight – we must have misheard!

A clearly stoned 40-odd year old European comes into the bar and makes his way down our side of the island. After slurring a request for a drink he starts chatting initially to Sally (actually she probably started it!) and then announces that he is the owner of CEx on a year-long sabattical and has been travelling in India and Burma. Lorraine confirms we have heard of it and that our kids have been regular users - "I love your kids", which I misheard for something else as he hugged Lorraine! I then told him I also knew his business from its very early days with Barclays when Gary Walsh was his banker and I was the credit officer responsible forCEx. Small world! He is taken aback that I would know Gary Walsh, which he exclaims a number of times before advising he now has 330 shops, is a millionaire, doesn't trust bankers or anyone in the financial world and has lost his girlfriend. He leaves to find her, but returns alone a short while later.

When his girlfriend does arrive, she has a puppy which she says she has adopted from a family who could not give it a home. How this young New Yorker was going to give it a good home seemed lost on her as she was almost as stoned as her millionaire boyfriend. (Gary Walsh later tells me by e-mail this might not be the first time Bobby Dudani has taken a year out).

We leave around 10 when the bar is closing having had an unexpectedly enjoyable evening.

Day 6: Friday 4th April - Trek and villages

We set off at 8am due to the heat for a 5 hour trek through the hillside with wonderful panoramic views of rolling hills and forest along a narrow path There is no wildlife, although one bull being driven in the opposite direction was clearly agitated by the smell of these unknown (Western) humans but was urged to continue and settled down. You don't want to meet an upset bull on a narrow footpath!

We pass through two villages. The children are delightful with beaming smiles, greetings and genuine interest in the photographs we take. We had been told not to give them money and in fairness, none of them even asked.

Refreshment is served in the home of a resident family in the second village; a 76 year old man with his slightly younger wife are our hosts and we are treated to green tea and fruit. The home seems reasonably spacious as it needs to be as they share it with one of their 5 children and their grandchildren, who are hovering around and we notice it is powered by two leads from a car battery. One of the villagers makes a living by taking the batteries to be charged! The family happily poses for photographs. As we leave, we again ask should we leave a tip to be told it is not necessary; Ko Ko explains that the ground agent for Explore helps the village with medicines and other non-financial support and the families take it in turns to host tourists.

We join the others for dinner at Sams restaurant a family run business a few minutes from the hotel this evening. Uncle Sam is something of a local celebrity; in his 60's now, he is known for organising trekking trips from here and this is clearly on the back packer visit list. Treks are organised individually or for groups for up to four days, including to Inle Lake. After a tasty enough meal, more of us return to "Hi".

It is much busier tonight, perhaps 40 crammed in and the guitars are already out. Again we are made very welcome with the locals making room for us around the bar as the music is non-stop. The owner tells me he has been running the bar for 18 years and one of the young local lads, Max, joins us after emotionally playing a 1965 song we hadn't heard of about a widower and his lost love. He is a Christian, unusual in itself, and speaks very good English - we spend some time talking about football (he is a Spurs fan and had a good knowledge of both current and past players)and he confides that he is very keen to develop his English further - he is very grateful that I explain "rubbish" can be interchanged with "shit" when we talk about Spurs season! He asks us to send him scanned copies of educational English books, wanting to know about tenses and idioms!

The music stops abruptly at 9.50 when the lead guitarist declares: "there’s too much talking"! The same guy who stopped me the night before, so is clearly a very sensitive artist. Another entertaining night finishes around 10.30 as the locals gradually depart, leaving us as almost the last

Day 7: Saturday 5th April - The road to Mandalay

A 6-7 hour journey by road to Mandalay broken into two parts: the first over bumpy older roads through numerous villages and towns, the second after a lunch break mainly on the new motorway which is almost entirely clear. The only real point of interest being the stop by a small lake so that the bus assistant can get pails of water to throw over the engine to cool it down! Also noteworthy is that there are concrete milestones on the motorway every furlong, which seems a complete waste of resources.

During the long journey, Ko Ko regularly gives us insights into Burmese culture and superstition. One such superstition had affected him personally. He was born on a Monday, his wife on a Friday. This is apparently such a bad combination that his family did not approve or join him at the traditional meeting of the families and despite being married for 12 years and having a 10 year old daughter, his family remains distant. Lorraine checks her birth day as we already knew I was born on Friday the 13th - hers is a Monday, so surely a bad combination too! However, Ko Ko tells us later that this only applies where the male is on the Monday and female Friday, so we're ok. Just as well after all this time!

In Mandalay, our hotel is the Rama, only opened in December 2013 and we are treated to a snacks and cocktail reception in the late afternoon. The greatest fun is using the electronic mosquito controller - a tennis racquet-like instrument which lights up as the mosquitos are caught. There are a lot, though, which is worrying.

All except Trevor and Julia eat at the Mandalay bistro which is recommended by Ko Ko and the two Australian ex-pats sitting outside. The ex-pats tell me that the chef is Burmese but trained in Singapore. Food is good but relatively expensive and service is slow. Lorraine and I retire to Beer Star-6, which is a busy bar/diner used mainly by locals on the corner adjacent to the hotel - we are the only non-Burmese until Trevor and Julia join us whilst watching the second half of the Newcastle v Man Utd. game being shown on the numerous TVs. Premier League football is very popular in Burma with Man Utd. and Chelsea the most followed teams. Hygienically, not very strong (understatement) but the beer is cold!

Day 8: Sunday 6th April - River crossing and Mandalay

An early start to catch the ferry for a one hour trip on the Irrawaddy to Mingun. We get another glimpse of the trading mentality with boats loading up alongside ours and a number of the tourist boats only having a couple of passengers – we are the only group on ours. When we arrive in Mingun, we are greeted by a rickety ox drawn cart with the word “taxi” scrawled on the worn canopy, another example of local enterprise – not a very appealing mode of transport which we decline politely.

Mingun (left) is a large, incomplete stupa begun by King Bodawpaya in 1790; it was never completed as a legend was created that said if it were, the king would die. It was delayed to prolong his life, but when he did die, it was stopped completely. It remains unfinished and inaccessible, now being scarred by many large external cracks following an earthquake in 1839. Nearby is the Mingun bell also commissioned by King Badawpaya and completed in 1810; weighing 90 tons it was the largest ringing bell in the world until 2000 when a larger one was completed at the Foqan Temple, in Henan, China. (A larger one in Russia does not work).

Next up is the Mya Thein Dan pagoda, said to have been built by a king to represent Mount Popa with its seven layers of hills in memory of his queen, who died in childbirth.

For our return to Mandalay, the crew have laid out some photo books they are selling for $15 each. Surely there is a deal to be done if we buy in bulk? After a few minutes haggling, we are told the best price is $10 each and I offer $60 for 7 on behalf of the group - the answer is "no", the books are collected and put away! 5 of us buy anyway at $10 each - the crew member probably heard that our walk away position was $10 so he made it his too!

On our return to the jetty, we are taken to a Shan restaurant for a pleasant lunch - it is very hot, probably around 40C, so having two guys fanning everyone was very welcome!

In the afternoon, our first stop is Mandalay Palace, where we are greeted by the loud shrieks and hysteria of the Myanmar Arsenal Supporters Club! Once we have avoided the loutish behaviour of the Arsenal fans (nothing new there), we are given a history in Anglo-Burmese relations and intra-family intrigue by Ko Ko. The Palace was the last royal palace of the Burmese monarchy, built between 1857 and 1859. It was captured during the third Anglo-Burmese war in 1885 and is today seen as a symbol of Burmese sovereignty. Much of the site was destroyed during the Second World War, but restored during the 1990’s. It is really a city complex in its own right, although not inhabited today.

Next stop is the Shwenandaw or Golden Palace monastery originally built in 1880 and sited at the Palace before being dismantled and moved to its current site by the then king, who feared it was haunted Mandalay Palace by his father. The building is teak with intricate carvings of Buddhist myths and is the only complete original building of the Royal Palace still standing. It has stone steps in each corner leading up to the monastery which were built later and, at least in part, to keep the original structure in place

1 Shwenandaw

We next move on to which includes 729 stones inscribed with Buddhist teaching, each housed in its own stupa, hence earning it the nickname of the world’s largest book.

Finally, a short bus trip to (I wanted to walk up the hill – this did not get approval from the rest of the group given the long day) for sunset. The viewpoint overlooks the whole city and would have 2 Lorraine at Kuthodaw been tremendous had it not been quite so hazy; the sun falls behind the cloud cover very quickly and the sought after sunset pictures are not possible. I have a brief chat with Vaz, a lady travelling with her husband independently; they seem to have organised a similar tour to ours, but all online. We also chat to a Buddhist monk, who points out Mandalay prison and the University. He agrees to have a photo taken with me, after which I ask if he knows how many prisoners there are in the prison; unclear about my question, Ko Ko translates and the answer comes back "we are not allowed to know".

Having had lunch during the day, Lorraine and I decide not to join the others for dinner and take a walk around by torchlight. With little else to do we return to Beer Star-6 and I order a small Thai noodle dish. Everton have beaten Arsenal and Liverpool are playing West Ham. I find out that in Burma, Thai is a euphemism for spicy hot, much to the amusement of the waiting staff. Their amusement is compounded when Lorraine knocks over her drink directing me to the (not very pleasant) loo. Trevor and Julia join us for a nightcap before another relatively early night, but tired after packing in a lot today.

Day 9: Monday 7th April - Inwa and Amarapura

Today’s first stop is an unusual one – Sally’s i-pad is not charging properly, so we find the local apple retailer for her to have it looked at! She leaves it with them to be picked up later. We head off to Kings, a local gold leaf manufacturer where we see the process. A small ingot of gold is sliced then heated and cut into smaller pieces which are then placed in between sheets of thin bamboo paper. Around 50-100 of these are then literally beaten thinner in between wooden plates by men using hammers. Tiring work for which they earn around $5 per day. Once they have reached a certain thinness, the process is repeated until the gold strips are leaf of around 30 microns. The leaves are then individually wrapped in a separate room by women earning around $3 per day.

First cultural stop is a large temple (name to be retrieved) and are warned that the dress code is strict – my normally acceptable shorts are too short and I am adorned with a wrap donated by Ruth. Even this is not good enough and I am turned away by security from the entry point where men only are able to place gold leaf on the Buddha statue. Ko Ko explains the reason as being that could flap open and finds a proper longhi for me to wear and has to dress me much to the amusement of the others. I am then allowed in! The statue itself is deformed with the amount of gold leaf which has been placed everywhere except the face and the crown.

This is said to be Burma’s second most important temple and there are numerous families and initiation ceremonies under way; the clothing is very colourful and the locals welcome pictures being taken. One inductee is being transported in a gilded hand held carriage and

looks somewhat overawed by the experience, although the family are very accommodating of these inquisitive tourists taking pictures.

We leave on foot to meet the bus, using a road in course of construction lined with stone craftsmen. The road itself is built with stones being carried and laid by women and children before being crushed. The work is hard and dirty and probably pretty low paid. Alongside, the skilled craftsmen work stone with no eye or mouth protection and are covered in dust. The work is all done by hand from medium sized to large – ahead two life size elephants are being loaded onto a truck for export.

A short ferry ride takes us across the Irrawaddy for our tour of Inwa, which served as the royal capital for some 400 years. The tour is by horse drawn carts, which as warned and expected, is hot, dusty and bumpy but is a nice alternative to the bus. Mipo, our horse, clearly knows the route well, working with very little encouragement from the driver. First stop is the Daw Gyan pagoda complex (where the hawkers we met earlier have miraculously materialised) followed by the still working Bagaya Kuang monastery, famous for its enormous teak wood foundation pillars. Along the way we pass the “Leaning Tower of Inwe”, notable for nothing other than it leans!

Our final stop is at the yellow stucco Me Nu Ok Kaung monastery, built in 1818 by Nanmadaw Me Nu, the Chief Queen of Bagyidaw, for the residence of her religious Preceptor, the Nyaunggan Sayadaw. An earthquake in 1838 damaged it, and in 1873 it was restored by Sinbyumashin, Queen of Mindon, and a daughter of Nanmadaw Me Nu. The building is markedly different from traditional Burmese monasteries, which are constructed with wood, not

masonry.

Mipo completes our circular journey for a well-earned, and leisurely lunch at the Small River (Ava) restaurant as Ko Ko gently complains, not for the first time, that our group is well ahead of time. The short ferry return, takes us past the old Ava bridge, a 16 span cantilever bridge; the only structure to span the Irrawaddy until being superseded by a parallel 2005 road bridge, it is still used for railway and local road traffic.

The afternoon starts with another silk and cotton factory, although in a different style to that we encountered on Inle lake. A short tour follows and then the ubiquitous shop, where I buy another shirt. Onwards to another monastery, this time a fully working one with over 1000 monks and we get a better insight into the life of a Buddhist monk and novices. One of the novices is getting water from the well for the washing up – the metal bowls, also used for cooking, are huge and there are lots of them around! One of the few teachings in English catches my eye: “Some religionists have a contempt for other’s religion. This is base and mean”. True, but are Buddhists really so pure?

Our final bus journey of the day takes us to Amarapura and a stop at the picturesque U Bein Bridge across the Taungthaman Lake. First encounter is with the bustling trading village alongside the bridge; not everyone is confident in stepping onto the bridge – wooden and built on over 1000 wooden poles – but the bridge is thronged by visitors. The bridge itself is a hive of activity from sellers to budding photographers, novice Buddhist monks in good spirits in advance of the impending water festival, a group of which are playing football in the distance. We appear to have become celebrities too and are asked on a number of occasions for our picture to be taken, including with some very jovial novices and a young man thrust towards us by his father and looking completely bemused as to why.

We have some reasonable pictures of the sun going down, although all bar one of the group had voted against us waiting for the sunset itself after a long day. There were boats taking visitors to better vantage points for the sunset as well as boatmen herding ducks, which I had never seen before. Before we have had a chance to fully explore the bridge (i.e. get to the end), we have to turn back to return to the bus for our journey back to the Rama.

Three of us have signed up to attend a show by the “Moustache Brothers”. Originally three, but now only two following the death of the most well-known, Par Par Lay, this is billed as a political comedy show, and is really a combination of slapstick, anecdote and variety show. The show is frowned upon by the authorities due to its political comment and accusations of corruption and only non-Burmese attend. Par Par Lay and Lu Maw both served hard labour prison sentences for their comments and it is claimed Par par Lay developed lead poisoning whilst in prison (the water tanks are lead lined). Lu Zaw now leads the show from what is effectively his front room – we were three of 18 in the audience! – with Lu Maw taking a less prominent part. Whilst dogged by poor sound, some of the jokes missing the mark and stiff dancing of the now ageing family (Zu Maw’s wife was once featured on the cover of the Lonely Planet), the show is worth seeing just to get a different perspective. We bought the t-shirt!

We hadn’t intended to have a last drink and I went to tell Trevor and Julia in Beer Star 6 – but as he saw me coming he ordered a drink for me before I got there. Oh well. Day 10: Tuesday 8th April - Transfer to

The transfer to Bagan is billed as being a day long journey by boat on the Irrawaddy, which everyone was looking forward to. However, due to the low water levels of the river, we have to travel by air from Mandalay to Bagan via Heho. This means we have a free afternoon at the Thazin Gardens, billed as a fairy land of wonders; not quite, but a nice apart hotel set in well maintained grounds, much better than we were expecting - again! Our rooms have been decorated by the cleaning staff (as we have seen before in Egypt mainly) and apart from a short wander around the gardens, most of us opt to laze by the pleasant 12m. pool for the afternoon.

Carol's 65th birthday and we have all signed a card, which Ko Ko presents on the coach - possibly the most flustered he has been on the tour to date!

For dinner, we all agree on the Black Rose, a family run restaurant recommended in most guide books and a 10 minute walk by torchlight. Not very expensive, the food is good and the owner and his wife are on hand with big smiles to make sure everything is ok. We chat to Vaz and Richard, who we briefly met at the Mandalay Hill the previous day - theirs is an interesting story: having been away separately in Central America four years ago, they found themselves stranded in Nicaragua when the Icelandic volcano erupted, causing the "ash cloud" chaos for airlines. They decided to make the best of it and with four others embarked on a three week tour of Nicaragua. Despite having little money, they were made welcome everywhere - and got on so well they got married last year! Two others in the group of six also married. They obviously have much to thank Iceland for.

Day 11: Wednesday 9th April – Bagan

We start today with a short journey to the Shwe San Daw pagoda, which we climb to get a sense of the scale of the Bagan vista; the landscape is littered with temples, stupas and pagodas and whilst Bagan is well documented, it is difficult to appreciate until experienced. Over 2,200 of the estimated original 10,000 buildings remain; many of the buildings have been damaged through earthquake or natural decline and some have been repaired but sometimes scar the landscape as they have not always been restored sympathetically. Ko Ko advises he will take us to the most contrasting in style and significance over the next two days.

As we reach the bottom of the steps to start the steep climb a young seller of paintings asks me where I am from. When I reply London, his next question surprises me: “Stamford Bridge or Craven Cottage?” “White Hart Lane” I respond; he then confirms this as the home of Spurs and goes on to explain in detail the goals scored by Spurs against Sunderland the night before and why Erikson is such a good player. He must have been up until nearly four in the morning to watch the game!

Gubyaukgyi is our second site – it has well preserved painted walls but in order to preserve these we were not allowed to take pictures.

3Shwe zi Gone Shwe zi gone is a circular gold-leafed pagoda of the type seen in Yangon and elsewhere, completed in 1102 and surrounded by a number of smaller temples and said to contain a tooth and bone of the first Buddha. Whilst becoming a little immune to scale and gold-leaf, this is an impressive site. In one area are housed painted wooden statues representing the seven stages of man, from young warrior through weakening to death> this is said to depict the journey Buddha wished to avoid in seeking nirvana. There is also evidence of some Hindu influence in some of the statues and the Chayar tree is noted as blooming all year round.

Htilominlo temple is three storeys tall and built in 1211. two are incomplete and are original, whilst two are complete and of a different style. It is said that they were erected as protection from Hindus and are built on large platforms to protect against flooding and earthquake damage. The building itself was damaged in the 1975 earthquake.

Ananda Temple was completed in 1105 and notable as it is built in cruciform style, unusual for the time. There are four Buddhas facing each direction; those facing North and South are said to be original, the others replacements for fire damaged originals. We tour the remainder of the complex, including a visit to the tallest temple in Bagan, Thatbyinnyu, and hear stories of Nats and Hindu influence before a short 5Htilominlo journey to meet our horse drawn cart which is to take us to Dhammayangi where we 4Ananda hope to get some sunset pictures. But no, despite climbing almost as far as we could, the sun is obscured by haze and there is no sunset to speak of. Another sun-setting disappointment – I guess it’s just the wrong time of year.

That evening, we’re back to Black Rose for another pleasant meal and just a couple of beers – 5the usual stragglers though.

Day 12: Thursday 10th April – Bagan

This morning we travel to West Pwa Saw village, which Ko Ko says he has chosen because the residents welcome tourists, but do not pester them with their wares; he suggests the inhabitants of an adjacent village are much more aggressive. We see traditional trades that have not changed for possibly centuries; peanut oil being drawn using oxen, the making of lacquer pots made of bamboo and agriculture. The locals mostly ignore us, as Ko Ko suggested, but that doesn’t stop some buying of the wares amongst the ladies!

We continue our walk away from the village across the plain via a dirt road taking in Phaya Thon Zu temple which consists of three temples co-joined through narrow passages, which originally was not completed, although this has been done only recently with the three stupas at the top being lighter in colour as a result. Tantric Buddhism, which originated in India. Our final cultural stop is the Nanda Mannya Cave Grotto before strolling back and soaking up the site of yet more stupas along the way along the dirt road to the bus. As we return, we look back to be greeted by a herd of goats being shepherded by three ladies, an almost surreal sight for us westerners; however, the oldest of the three did know one word of English and held her hand out for some money as we took photographs, which took us by surprise as it was only the second time we had seen this on our holiday.

On our way back to the hotel, we stop at an umbrella shop – Ruth has been looking for one or more traditional umbrellas for a while and the opportunity is too good. Not everyone wants an umbrella though and after some deliberation, we decide we don’t need them either.

The final stop of the morning is in a lacquer workshop, where Ko Ko explains the process and we witness the skilled craftsmen and women preparing, shaping, lacquering and painting the bamboo pots. There are seven steps in the process; we are enthralled as we see women painting on the resin without gloves and the amount of skill which goes into the creation of these pieces. Again we hear that the most skilful will earn around $5 per day. One of the artists agrees to draw a picture on one of the cameras s a memento and – well, we all had to have one. Ours is a trumpeting elephant, which is excellent. Then it’s into the shop…

The afternoon is free, with most of us choosing to spend it by the pool. Surprisingly, we see some rain, apparently very unusual for this time of year. As this is the last night the whole group will be together – Trevor, Julia and Elspeth are not coming on to Ngapali – Ko Ko has arranged a meal for us at the most local restaurant to the hotel. This is the time for the thank yous for Ko Ko, who is also leaving us tomorrow. I present him with the collection which has been organised (a combination of local currency and dollars) making reference to his inscrutability and the extensive knowledge he has imparted; his plea is that we tell our friends how wonderful Burma is and that we come back. It’s not especially late when we drift off, although most had departed before us leaving, you’ve guessed it, us with Trevor and Julia to have just one more.

Day 13: Friday 11th April - Transfer to Ngapali Beach

This is where we say goodbye to Trevor, Julia, Elspeth and Ko Ko who ae re travelling to Yangon whilst we fly to Thwande with a stop off at Heho, and then transfer to the Jade Marina hotel. It is noticeably hotter and we are glad of the air conditioning in the bus, which not all of the hotel buses have; some are more creatively designed, one with wooden carvings in the shape of elephant trunks to serve as handles. We are more than pleasantly surprised; the hotel seems relatively new and we are shown to a chalet which has been well designed, with air conditioning whilst the bed and towels have been decorated as we have seen before in Egypt. The pool where we laze the afternoon away, is large and sits with a view of the Indian Ocean which in turn is almost bath temperature although the waves are strong. An idyllic setting for my last day with Barclays!

In another attempt to get a decent sunset picture, I meander to the balcony view of the Indian ocean at the main building. Some of the ladies are also there having an early afternoon livener, so I join them. Once more the sunset is a disappointment, but after a drink or two no-one has the appetite (excuse the pun) to go searching for food so all eight of us remaining adventurers agree on dinner in the hotel; the food is ok, but really memorable for how very expensive it is compared to any other we have had to date and how slow the service is.

Day 14: Saturday 12th April - Ngapali Beach

After a later than normal start, Lorraine and I wander along the beach for about an hour until we reach an inlet which we can't cross; by the time we get back, our feet are burning in the hot sand although this doesn't stop Lorraine stopping at the small ad hoc stalls set up for some gift shopping. Lorraine negotiates so hard she is given a free gift! During our lazy afternoon by the pool, we are disturbed from our slumber as we hear something drop into the pool. Thinking it was a branch from an overhanging tree, we look up to see a snake slithering out of the pool before disappearing into the undergrowth alongside us. We had been warned to be wary of snakes, yet this is the only one we have seen.

It’s been a hot day, so Lorraine feel we deserve a late afternoon refresher and plant ourselves on a couple of seats to watch the sunset with a relaxing couple of beers. A very tranquil way to spend an hour or so and we take lots of pictures as the sun casts its light across the water and rocks at the beach edge.

This evening we take the short walk along the beach to Angel restaurant and are joined by Stephen and Eoighan, two guests at the hotel we met in the bus from the airport. This is mainly because the waiting staff put us together when they saw us acknowledging each other and the boys were too polite to say they didn’t want to eat with those old gits! They tell us they organised their own travel around Burma finishing with a full week at the hotel. Stephen works for a lobby agency for the oil and gas industry, whilst Eoighan works in logistics for Save the Children and is due to fly to Kenya on the Monday he returns, whilst they live in Maida Vale, not too far from us. They are good company and a very pleasant meal is tempered only by the advice from the proprietor that Spurs are losing 1-3 at half time v WBA following our brief discussion about football - I tell him the final result will be 3-3. He is very impressed that we live near Wembley Stadium. Day 15: Sunday 13th April - Ngapali Beach

We spend three hours walking to and from the fishing village at the end of the beach, in the opposite direction to the one we went to yesterday. We encounter ladies cleaning the nets and a shoal of whitebait drying in the sun, although it is probably already too late for much boat activity. We stop for refreshment on the promontory near the village and stroll back – not before Lorraine has stopped at the small stalls set up along the beach to sell local produce, of course. We go back to Angel restaurant to reserve a table for the evening and I resolve to have a pedicure later that afternoon. I return later to my first ever pedicure (advertised as such but really only cutting toe nails) and whilst there extend my beautification by having a

foot massage too. This turns out to be a whole leg (yes, into the groin area) massage. The lady doing the massage is very enthusiastic and the massage is actually painful in places, especially on the soles of the foot! The other lady there explains that the whole area will close down in

two weeks or so for the rainy season so there will be no more work until October. She is a widow with 19 and 11 year old sons, the former at University. I buy the story and leave a tip, although having been away for more than an hour Lorraine was just sending out a search party! She has been engrossed in her book and is now very pink!

We spend part of the afternoon in the Indian Ocean trying to ride the crest of the waves on inflated inner tubes which are common on the beach. Great fun! The water is again bath temperature - as is the swimming pool when we return.

The hotel has been building a temporary stage for its water festival celebrations over three days. The water festival celebrates Myanmese New Year and we have been warned that it gets very wet. The entertainment we were told was starting at 4 has still not started at 7, so after almost everyone enjoys a drink at the pool side bar we set off for Angel again as we enjoyed it so much last night. After all, why change? The food is again very good. We find out that the proprietor is not the owner but runs the restaurant for his brother in law, who is there in an austere party of what look like government officials, but we’re told aren’t. Our host is very impressed with my ability to predict football scores!

Day 16: Monday 14th April - Transfer to Yangon

The road to Thwande airport is awash with wet people crammed in motor cycle driven carts and wagons, dancing and throwing water over each other. There is a real carnival atmosphere with smiling faces, waving and loud music. Is this a taste of things to come in Yangon? On arrival at Yangon, we notice that two planes seem particularly close together. Further inspection confirmed they had crashed - one stationary, the other taxiing. Never seen that before. As I get off the plane, a passenger says he remembers me from the Rama hotel using the mosquito catcher. He is the ground agent for Explore and very interested in how our tour has gone, especially the quality of the guide, which I reassure him on. Then, coincidentally, I see and speak to Ko Ko who is leading his new group, presumably on the journey to Inle.

As we leave the airport, there is a wonderful party atmosphere (one

particularly unstable guy in the back of a wagon had clearly taken the partying far too seriously!). The streets are awash with water, everyone is soaked but having a great time and the roads are gridlocked. Every age group is out, dancing, throwing water, directing traffic or all three. We are waved at, blown kisses and generally invited to get involved - albeit from the safety of our coach. (Lorraine would not let me get out, the killjoy!) There is a colour and vibrancy we could not have expected from the rest of our tour. Along the procession, there are large stalls equipped with hoses to douse passers- by and the open wagons, which queue up for the 6What does the policeman think he can do? privilege of being thoroughly soaked to loud, western style music with a thumping bass - we can feel the vibration in the bus. Despite the party atmosphere, drinking, gridlock and water dousing, we don’t see a single sign of trouble or even the clip of a vehicle. Amazing! It takes an hour and a half to complete the journey back to the Panda hotel, which took 25 minutes on our first day!

The four ladies are going to have afternoon tea at the Strand hotel, which is based on that at the Ritz in London. Lorraine and I say we shall meet them there for a cocktail at 5.15 and decide to walk setting out at 4. We thought, as tourists, we might be slightly immune to the water festival, but within two minutes of leaving our hotel, two children pour bowls of water over us. This theme continues and on arrival at the Strand we are totally soaked and dripping.. Along the way, we have been targeted by children and adults alike, doused with warm, tepid and freezing cold water and waived at by thousands passing in open backed wagons. We feel a bit like celebrities with only a handful of other tourists en route.

Unlike the Ritz, the Strand door staff do let us in and we are offered blankets to sit on should we want to stay, but we decline to wet the place any more than we already have and tell the ladies, who have had a wonderful and very filling tea, that we won't join them for cocktails. We have already decided to try a couple of other places and head via the awash streets for Monsoon and the 50th Street bar, both of which have been recommended – trying to limit our hydration further. After all our walking and running of the water gauntlets both establishments closed, for the holiday and refurbishment respectively. We hail a taxi - they cover the seats with plastic or cloths for protection during the water festival - to take us to the restaurant we ate at on our first night; also closed! Just as we are going into the fast food restaurant beside us, two kids with bowls of freezing cold water catch us unawares and run off. We’re still allowed in though, and we use the last of our kyats in the restaurant, needing to supplement them with a couple of wet dollars up as they brought us another beer when I asked for the bill – but we drank it anyway.

Day 17: Tuesday 15th April - Back to UK.

As the only ones in our party on a later flight from Yangon (to avoid a 7 hour stop-over in Kuala Lumpur), we see the others off in the morning after breakfast but decide against any further exploration given the near certainty of coming back soaking wet. We are treated to a sedan taxi on our own for the trip to the airport - the party has started again and the roads are thronging with more music, dancing (in the open-backed wagons) and, of course, water. The taxi diverts a couple of times to avoid traffic jam, but we get to Yangon International in very good time. The holiday is just about done.

In Dubai, we meet up with the rest of our party in passing and do the usual whilst at an airport – a bit of browsing and a bit of last minute shopping before the call to home brings our Burmese adventure to an end.