High School to College --By Deana Johnson

High School to College --by Deana Johnson

“Relax. Stay positive. Don’t be so hard on yourself. You are living and learning. Forgive yourself and grow from the experience.”

Community college attended: Manchester Community College Location: Manchester, Connecticut Date success story was submitted: Dec. 15, 2020 Community college sponsor/mentor and college affiliation: Patrick Sullivan, English Department, Manchester Community College Key search terms: Recent high school graduate Academic major: Early Childhood Education

Here’s a little bit about me. Both of my parents are from Jamaica. My whole family is. My dad is from Kingston, and my mom is from Spanish Town. My mom and dad speak Jamaican. I can sometimes understand it just a little bit. For example, when she says “Mi hav fi go to de shop” or “Tun on de ion” she means that she has to go to the store or to turn on the iron and when my dad says “Wah Gwaan” or “Lickkle more” he means what’s up or see you later or goodbye. Not only can I understand it a little bit, I can also speak it a little bit but it’s not that good.

My love for the language also extends to the cuisine. The food is so good, and I love eating it. If I had to choose which type of food to eat for the rest of my life, I would choose Jamaican. I love the food but there are some dishes that I don’t like which are curry goat, and porridge. And then are foods that I enjoy like ackee and saltfish, which is a breakfast dish, bammy (fried bread made from cassava flour and is served with fried fish and is a breakfast food), coco bread (lunch), rice and peas (dinner), curry chicken (dinner), beef/ackee and saltfish patty, fried fish, and fried dumpling which is also a breakfast food. Overall, Jamaican food is delicious and amazing.

I also love the music. It is one of the things that will get me dancing and singing. It makes me feel like I’m at home since my whole family is from Jamaica. The songs I listen to, sometimes, are “Murder She wrote” by Pilers, “Toast” by Koffee, “Hold Yuh”/“Wine Slow”/“African Queen” by Gyptian, “Temperature”/“Get Busy”/“We be burning”/“Gimme the light”/“Like Glue” by Sean Paul.

What makes Jamaica beautiful is the miles of beaches. It has some beaches in the Caribbean with crystal blue waters and breathtaking scenery and sunsets. What I love about Jamaica is that it’s very sunny, the beach is very beautiful, the houses are nice, and I know my family is there wishing to see me.

One of the main reasons I have been successful in life is my mom. She has always been there for me no matter what. We had many conversations about what I want to do later in life and conservations about what she dreamed of doing, how it started and how she’s doing now. I’ve always dreamed of becoming a teacher since I was little. She told that I would put my stuffed animals in a circle and pretend I was reading them. Right then, she knew I was going to be a teacher. When she was 16, she dreamed of becoming a Benefits Administrator. So she did, she started out at Bloomfield Health Care Center, worked there for a few years, then moved up to National, worked there for another couple of years, and then when all her hard work paid off she moved up to working from home at Next Step Healthcare, where she currently works. We did have some bad times, though, but we always fixed it like in high school. I started high school as a shy and quiet student who worked hard. I was on the honor roll a couple times and

was student of the month like twice but then when sophomore, junior and senior year came, everything started to go downhill.

In my second year of high school, sophomore, I had a bad mindset. I would put myself down constantly telling myself that I'm ugly, stupid (I still do sometimes), fat and I even had thoughts of committing you know what (I don't want to say it). But, as life went on with the love and support from my family and friends, I managed to start liking myself and then loving myself. I still have a bad mindset a little bit but not as bad like I don’t have those thoughts anymore. I was also heartbroken because I had lost my grandma. I was very close to her, and me and my dad weren’t talking but everything is good now. As for junior and senior year, my grades started to get bad and they weren’t where I wanted them to be and where they used to be. Everyone knows that when you get close to senior year, you think to start think “Do I really still need to do this? I’m about to leave.” Well from my experience I can tell you don’t do that. I did it and because of it I got F’s in the last quarter of my senior year. If it had stayed that way, I wouldn’t have graduated high school. So, to avoid that, I ended up having to stay after with multiple teachers to make-up all the work I was missing or didn’t finished. I also ended disappointing people because of it like one of my teachers, my mom and myself. I hated myself even more because I let it get to that point by not turning in work on time. But, with the help and support from my mom and the teachers I stayed after with I passed all my classes and my finals, and I graduated on time, with the rest of my class and my friends. When I walked the stage, I made my mom, dad, brothers, uncle, grandma and myself proud.

I’ll admit after high school, I didn’t want to go to college. To me, I had my life planned out already. I would get a job and go to college when I was ready. But I am glad that I did because I am the first person in my family to go to college. When I started in Fall 2019, the nerves started coming. I wasn’t sure what it had in store for me. The first day I walked into the building, the nerves started coming at full speed and when my first class started my heart was racing. I barely talked, and I was so shy. I was quiet as mouse. There were times where I had to talk, and I did. Then, I went right back to being quiet.

In the beginning, everything was going okay but later everything started going down. I started not to take it seriously. I started to skip class and wasn’t doing the work. So, I ended up failing all my classes and exams. I waited months after the first semester ended to tell my mom and I regret that so much. I still regret it to this day because I should’ve told her the second I knew I was failing, but I didn’t. Then, after many long talks, I came to an awakening. I wasn't going to put myself in the same exact cycle again for second semester. I wasn’t going to. But, in the middle of the second semester, after I finished a math assignment, I got an F and that day I put myself in the same situation as the first semester. So, I tried my hardest and I passed the second semester. Then came third semester, right now. I am proud of where I am today. Even though I had to be reminded about some things along the way, I was able to figure it all out and get back on track. This semester I know I passed because I pretty much have straight As, I have some Bs too but at least it’s not Cs.

I feel like I have grown and gotten better as a writer. In the beginning of third semester, when I would do a discussion post or essay and I had to explain a quote in my own words I would only write one sentence. I put an example of my first discussion post down below:

My Reading Response!

What I found interesting in this handout is how reading can help you with math. I never knew in my life that reading books can help you math problems but after reading this now I know. According to the handout it stated "Their research showed that reading for pleasure produces important benefits across a variety of academic disciplines (including math) and that 'reading is actually linked to increased cognitive progress over time.' Obviously, these cognitive gains will help you regardless of your major or career aspirations...but if we think of reading as an activity that by its very nature...helps us develop more sophisticated ways of understanding the world, then it makes good sense." This means that although reading can expand your vocabulary and give us new understandings, it can also benefit you when doing math.

What I also found interesting is how our brain changes because of learning and how it creates new pathways. The handout stated "Science has begun to play an important role in our understanding of learning and some fascinating discoveries have been made in this regard related to reading. We now know that the brain actually changes as a result of engaged, effortful learning and that when we challenge ourselves to learn something new, the brain forms new neural pathways... As psychologist Carol Dweck has noted, "More and more research is showing that our brains change constantly with learning and experience and that this takes place throughout our lives." This means that as we learn different subjects our brain changes every time and it happens throughout our lives.

What I found important is not to read just to finish but to read to understand. According to the handout it stated "There has also been a great deal of research recently on the difference between "deep learning" and "surface learning." Much of this research focuses on how students engage with the texts they read for school... In one study, sociologists Judith C. Roberts and Keith A. Roberts found that many students see "reading" as simply forcing one's eyes to "touch" each word on the assigned pages and many students candidly admit that they do not even read assigned materials at all. Many students often read only to finish rather than to understand what they have read. Students may favor this kind of approach to learning because it requires minimal effort. Obviously, however, with minimal effort comes minimal rewards." This means that if you read to finish you're not understanding what you are reading and you're not putting in little effort but if you read to understand then you are understanding what you're reading and putting in the effort.

*****

By the end of the semester, I was doing much better. I was explaining the quotes I used further and in more sentences. I was explaining everything more clearly. Professor Sullivan even said, “You offer a solid discussion of each quote that you provide.” For example, here is my last essay:

Deana Johnson

Patrick Sullivan

English 93

11/19/20

Is the Beloved Community Possible?

Creating the Beloved Community isn’t possible due to violence, racism, homelessness, etc. Martin Luther King Jr (MLK) stated in his philosophy that “In the Beloved Community, poverty, hunger, and homelessness will not be tolerated because international standards of human decency will not allow it. Racism and all forms of discrimination, bigotry, and prejudice will be replaced by an all-inclusive spirit of sisterhood and brotherhood...international disputes will be resolved by peaceful conflict-resolution and reconciliation of adversaries, instead of military power. Love and trust will triumph over fear and hatred. Peace with justice will prevail over war and military conflict.” We can’t achieve this now, maybe in the future we can if everyone is more kind to each other, less violent and racist. In King’s 1957 speech, “Birth of a

New Nation” he stated “The aftermath of nonviolence is the creation of the beloved community.

The aftermath of nonviolence is redemption. The aftermath of nonviolence is reconciliation. The aftermath of violence is emptiness and bitterness.” What this means is that since we are violent, we are left with feelings of numbness and resentment towards others, but if we eliminate all the violence in the world then we will see compassion and empathy which can create a beloved community. I’m not sure we can achieve this as the society we are today. It would be a simple matter of trying to be nice and kind to each other and helping each other when we need it most, but our world hasn’t shown that we can do this.

According to MLK’s excerpt, it stated that “We have amazing knowledge of vitamins, nutrition, the chemistry of food, and the versatility of atoms. There is no deficit in human resources; the deficit is in human will. The well-off and the secure have too often become indifferent and oblivious to the poverty and deprivation in their midst. The poor in our countries have been shut out of our minds, and driven from the mainstream of our societies, because we have allowed them to become invisible.” What this means is that we are so messed up that we are completely blind to everything. Like what he said is that we are indifferent and oblivious to poverty and we shut the poor in our countries out of our minds. We made them become invisible.

We have the resources we need to help other people out, but we just don’t have the will to help and I think that we are being selfish and keeping it for ourselves. In “King’s Philosophy”, MLK talked about “Militarism” and how it isn’t a way to settle differences whether it’s “war, imperialism, domestic violence, rape, terrorism, human trafficking, media violence, drugs, child abuse, violent crime…” What he means is that in past years there has been numerous cases of these acts and it is proof that these kinds of acts show that we have a “savage beast” somewhere inside of us. I believe that we are actually losing our chances of becoming a Beloved Community due to those reasons because we’re having a difficult time resolving them.

I believe that everyone has a “savage beast” inside of them. I believe that because I think that there are people out who are violent and enjoy hurting people. From the “Savage Beasts”, chapter 5, Freud stated “As a result, their neighbor is for them not only a potential helper or sexual object, but also someone who tempts them to satisfy their aggressiveness on him, to exploit his capacity for work without compensation, to use him sexually without his consent, to seize his possessions, to humiliate him, to cause him pain, to torture and to kill him (31).” If we

look back at past history there has been numerous wars, attacks and acts of aggression on other people like the Russian Civil War and Iraq War, the ones that Freud has mentioned the invasions of the Huns, by people known as Mongolsunder Jenghiz Khan and Tamerlane, at the capture of

Jerusalem by the pious Crusaders, even, the horrors of the recent World War and even the acts that MLK has mentioned in “The King’s Philosophy.”

I also think that people have a “shadow” because there are people in this world that just love to hurt and kill people. Carl Jung stated “It is a frightening thought that man also has a shadow side to him, consisting not just of little weaknesses and foibles, but of a positively demonic dynamism…But let these harmless creatures form a mass, and there emerges a raging monster; and each individual is only one tiny cell in the monster's body, so that for better or worse he must accompany it on its bloody rampages and even assist it to the utmost. Having a dark suspicion of these grim possibilities, man turns a blind eye to the shadow-side of human nature (131).” What this means is that everyone has a shadow somewhere inside of them. The more that humans suppress the shadow, it can be controlled and maintained but if it’s shut out, you can never get rid of it.

In conclusion, creating the Beloved Community isn’t possible. You can affect your community only if you let your savage beast and shadow show but even if you don’t show your dark side at all, it is still going to be difficult to have a beloved community due to all the problems we are currently facing. There is so much negativity in the world that I believe it won’t go away and it’s hard for people to see others’ perspective as well. Sometimes people are good at hiding their dark side and being kind to others but there are other people who don't hide it and let

it show causing them to be controlled by it which leads to ruining a good community or a beloved community.

*****

After, I submitted that essay Professor Sullivan said:

Deana:

Greetings!

Thank you for getting Essay #2 in! That’s the way to do it!

Here are my thoughts about your essay and my feedback:

Essay #2: The Beloved Community!

Grade: A

Great!

This essay is very well organized and well written. Your writing is strong and clear throughout, and you offer a solid discussion of each quote that you provide. Yay!

You did a great job working your way through the complexities of this complex assignment without getting lost or overwhelmed.

Impressive!

Very well done!

A pleasure to read.

--Pat

*****

My piece of advice for whoever is reading this is: Don’t be like me. Don’t put your assignments off to the last minute and drown yourself in work. Do not procrastinate. Get your work done and study for any test you may have. Start projects and/or homework early so that if you need help you have the time to ask for help. Doing this will definitely help to reduce your stress level. Just a reminder, college is different than high school. It’s your responsibility to manage your life.

You will have a class or two where only two grades or a paper and an exam will determine your final grade most of the time. Do everything that is required and get it done on time. Most importantly, don’t expect a reminder from the professor – it is your job to remember. Also, if you are going there I want you to remember something that my mom told me: Relax. Stay positive. Don’t be so hard on yourself. You are living and learning. Forgive yourself and grow from the experience.

Good Luck!