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Children's Insights Into Family Discipline

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Children's Insights Into Family Discipline Children’s Insights into Family Discipline Terry Dobbs A thesis submitted for the degree of Master of Arts (Childhood and Youth Studies) of the University of Otago, Children’s Issues Centre, Dunedin, New Zealand. January, 2005 Abstract This qualitative research project explored the views of 80 children, aged between 5 and 14 years from 5 locations in New Zealand about the parental use of family discipline, and examined whether age and gender influenced their views. Focus group discussions were used to elicit the children’s views. This research project is placed within the sociology of childhood paradigm where children are viewed as social actors in their own right. Significantly, the study demonstrated that all the children, irrespective of age or gender, had considerable understanding and insight into their own and other people’s behaviour and feelings when family discipline occurred. Children’s reports indicated that the parental disciplinary message is often not understood, is delivered in an inconsistent manner and without implicit instructions to children. Children reported that disciplinary messages would be better understood and internalised, by them, if parents used a more inductive style of parenting. Age and gender differences emerged when children discussed the use of physical punishment as a means of family discipline. Children’s reports on physical punishment were at odds with published adult assumptions on the effects of its use. The children reported greater severity and frequency of the use of physical punishment than that of adult reports on its use. Children’s support for the use of physical punishment increased as their age increased. The older boys were more likely to support parental use of physical punishment. The children’s reports showed that fathers’ disciplinary practices had consequences in the disciplining of children. Children began to rationalise parental use of physical punishment in terms of children’s status in society and the perceived inevitability of physical punishment in their lives. The older children’s views began to mirror those of commonly held adult views on the justification for its use. However, children who were trying to link their own views on physical punishment to those of their parents experienced high levels of confusion, leading to diminished internalisation of disciplinary messages. i Acknowledgements I would like to thank the 80 children who were so willing and so able to participate in this study. Their insights were often very humbling and their enthusiasm made this a great learning experience. I would also like to thank the very hard working school principals and their support staff who made this research possible. Most of all I would like to acknowledge and thank my two very supportive and patient supervisors, Professor Anne Smith and Nicola Taylor from the Children’s Issues Centre. Your unfailing encouragement was invaluable. Thank you so much to Save the Children Fund New Zealand, as without their financial support this research project would not have been possible. Special thanks to Sonya Hogan of Save the Children whose honest enthusiasm has been inspiring. Great thanks to my partner, Bruce Sorensen, whose commitment and support has been great. Finally, thank you to my friends and family, especially my Dad, who is always there for me. This thesis is dedicated to my late mother, Joan Dobbs, who was the wind under mine and many other children’s wings. ii Table of Contents Abstract i Acknowledgements ii Table of Contents iii List of Tables viii List of Figures and Glossary of Terms ix List of Abbreviations x List of Appendices xi CHAPTER ONE – Introduction 1 Introduction 1 Definitions 4 Discipline 4 Punishment 4 Parents and family 5 Organisation of Thesis 6 CHAPTER TWO: Children and Childhood 8 Introduction 8 Mapping the historical landscape of childhood 8 Children’s Rights 11 United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child 14 Children’s participation in research 18 Family discipline from a theoretical framework 19 Social learning theory 22 Moral internalisations and attachment 24 Sociocultural theory 26 Ecological theory 28 iii The sociology of childhood 31 Summary 33 CHAPTER THREE: Review of the literature 35 Introduction 35 Children’s transgressions and parental discipline 35 Children’s views on physical punishment 42 Summary 48 CHAPTER FOUR: Physical punishment: A global perspective 50 Introduction 50 Is physical discipline an act of violence? 50 Global perspective 52 England 53 Scotland 54 Canada 55 United States of America 55 Australia 55 South Africa 56 Sweden 56 New Zealand 57 The New Zealand and Swedish models 57 Defining ‘reasonable’ 58 The use of physical punishment 60 Family characteristics and the use of physical punishment 61 Physical punishment, physical abuse and child protection 62 The effects of physical punishment 64 Summary 65 CHAPTER FIVE: Methodology 67 Introduction 67 iv Qualitative research 67 Rationale for methodology 69 Use of focus groups 69 Validity 71 Interviewing children 72 Issues of power 74 Ethical approval 76 Method 76 Recruitment 76 Criteria 76 Consent process 77 Board of Trustee and principals consents 77 Parent’s consent 78 Children’s consents 78 Confidentiality and safety 80 Privacy 81 Process 82 Instrument 84 Participants 86 Apparatus 88 Data gathering and analysis 89 Limitations of the research 89 Summary 90 Research questions 90 CHAPTER SIX: Results 91 Introduction 91 Theme one: The scope of family disciplinary acts delivered by parents. 92 Introduction 92 Summary 95 Theme two: Children’s perceptions of the parental message. 97 v Introduction 97 Summary 100 Theme three: Parental consistency. 102 Introduction 102 Summary 111 Theme four: Fairness and conflict. 112 Introduction 112 Summary 121 Theme five: Children’s views on physical punishment. 123 Introduction 123 Summary 138 Theme six: Time out, withdrawal of privileges and grounding 140 Introduction 140 Summary 142 Theme seven: Children’s advice on family discipline. 144 Introduction 144 Summary 148 Summary of age and gender differences 149 CHAPTER SEVEN: Discussions 151 Introduction 151 Children’s descriptions of family discipline and its scope 152 Children’s understanding of the parental message 154 Parental consistency and fairness 155 Children and parental conflict 157 Children’s views on physical punishment 159 Children’s internalisation 165 Mothers’ and fathers’ disciplinary practices 166 Children’s views on the ‘smacking law’ 171 Children’s advice on family discipline 172 Advantages and limitations of the method 173 vi Summary 174 CHAPTER EIGHT: Conclusion, implications and recommendations 176 Introduction 176 Children’s participation in research 176 Implication of the study 177 Suggestions for policy change 179 Government policy 179 Public education 179 Research 180 REFERENCES 182 APPENDICES 206 vii List of Tables Table 1: Questions asked by Splodge and Spike 84 Table 2: School demographics 87 Table 3: Children’s views on appropriate behaviour at home 92 Table 4: Children’s views on inappropriate behaviour at home 93 Table 5: Consequences of children’s behaviour 94 Table 6: Children’s understanding of the rules 97 Table 7: Children’s perceptions on their acquisition of knowledge on family rules 98 Table 8: Children’s reasons as to why they need to know the rules 99 Table 9: Children’s perceptions of parental consistency 102 Table 10: Consistency between mothers and fathers 103 Table 11: Children’s perceptions of fairness 104 Table 12: Other circumstances of parental inconsistencies 107 Table 13: Children’s perception why parents allow transgressions 108 Table 14: Impact of parental inconsistencies 110 Table 15: Child parent conflict over family rules and punishment 112 Table 16: Why children do things they have been told not to and parents reactions 115 Table 17: How children feel when they are doing something they shouldn’t 117 Table 18: Children’s responses to parental unfairness 118 Table 19: Prevalence and descriptions of a smack 123 Table 20: Where, why and with what are children smacked 126 Table 21: Children’s feeling on being smacked 130 Table 22: How children and parents act after children are smacked 131 Table 23: Children’s perception of why children to not smack adults 133 Table 24: Appropriateness of smacking and children’s future behaviour 134 Table 25: Children’s views on the law 136 Table 26: Children’s suggestions to alternatives to smacking 137 Table 27: Children’s views on other family discipline techniques 140 Table 28: Children’s advice to parents 144 Table 29: Children’s use of family discipline 146 viii List of Figures Figure 1: Total number of children by age and gender 86 Figure 2: Family structure 86 Figure 3: Family situation 87 Glossary of Terms Whanau: Family group 87 ix List of Abbreviations UNCROC: United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child UN Committee: United Nations Committee on the Rights of the Child B.O.T.: Board of Trustees CYF: The Department of Child, Youth and Family Services CYPF Act 1989: Children, Young Peoples and Their Families Act 1989 N.G.O: Non Government Organisation SES: Socio- economic status D: Dunedin Ka: Kaikohe Ke: KeriKeri H: Hawkes Bay A: Auckland M: Male F: Female UNICEF: United Nations International Children’s Fund CFCYL: Canadian Foundation for Children, Youth and Law EPOCH: End Physical Punishment of Children O.E.C.D.: Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development ISPCAN: International Society for Prevention of Child Abuse and Neglect x List of Appendices Appendix A : Principals Information Sheet 206 Appendix B: Principals Consent Form 208 Appendix C: Board of Trustees Information Sheet 209 Appendix D: Board of Trustees Consent Form 211 Appendix E: Parents Information Sheet 212 Appendix F: Parents Consent Form 214 Appendix G : Children’s Information Sheet 215 Appendix G (1): Young People’s Information Sheet 216 Appendix H: Children’s Consent Form 217 Appendix H (1): Young People’s Consent Form 218 Appendix I: Splodge Story Book 219 Appendix J: Spike Power Point 222 Appendix K: Children’s Certificate 225 xi CHAPTER ONE Introduction In the final analysis, a culture is defined by the manner in which its children are reared.
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