Table of Contents cover photograph by Jacob Deighton, 12 Buddy by Daniel Walsh 2 Alaskan Hunt by Daniel Walsh 8 The Things That We Love by Collin King 11 Trip to Belize by Collin King 13 The Kid Secret by Nate Martens 17 Like Father, Like Son by Nate Martens 20 Jordan’s First Day by Jack Knott 23 Tryouts by Jack Knott 27 A Broken Lapse of Reason by Daniel Sparks 31 Growth by Daniel Sparks 36 Conspiracy by Joey Migliazzo 40 The Hunting Experience by Joey Migliazzo 42 The Great Lie, or Get the Hell Out by Alex Spalding 46 Fantasy, or Don’t You Dare Leave by Alex Spalding 52 The Eventful Weekend by Tommy Barry 57 Prom Night by Tommy Barry 61 AMDG by Matthew James 65 I Hate Camping by Matthew James 72 Senior Ditch Day by Jacob Britton 75 Online Dating by Jacob Britton 77 Father by Jacob Britton 80 Hardships by Seth Harris 86 Homecoming Disaster by Seth Harris 95 Grown Up by Brendan Koch 99 School of Baffoons by Brendan Koch 106

The Scrivener Winter 2019 The De Smet Jesuit High School Literary Magazine Moderator Robert Hutchison Staff Anthony Arthur Matthew James Nathan Martens Daniel Sparks Thomas Barry Collin King Joey Migliazzo Daniel Walsh Jacob Britton Jack Knott Joseph Moffatt Seth Harris Brendn Koch Alex Spalding Special Thanks to Kevin Berns, Laurie Kohler , and Emily Ledbetter 1 Buddy by Daniel Walsh, 12

There was a beautiful sunset in a small town in southern Missouri. A cool breeze brushed through the trees as the quiet night began to set in. John was just getting back to his cabin after a hard day of work in the field. He made himself a hot cup of oats and sat down by the fire. Re- flecting on his day, he began to notice something was off.

John walked outside in his backyard and yelled “Buddy I’m home!”

Buddy was a matured black lab that John took care of when he found him wandering through the woods as a pup. Every evening after John would return to the cabin from work, Buddy would be waiting at the back door for him. However, this evening something different was waiting for John.

John took a step outside and found Buddy’s blue collar lying on the

photo by Dan Walsh, 12 2 ground at his feet. John began to breath heavily and shake as he walked back inside. He knew that this night was going to be a long one. John quickly ran into his bedroom, grabbed a backpack, and began packing. He rushed as he packed a flashlight, dog treats, water, and a leash. Just before he made it out the door, John turned around and grabbed his rifle, making sure ammo was handy.

As he made it out the back door, the shadows of the trees began to disappear, and total darkness set in. John reached for his flashlight and flipped the switch as he began to enter the line of trees in his backyard. There was complete silence. All that was heard was the crunching as the leaves rustled with every step John took.

John called out “Buddy are you out there!”

John was spooked as someone yelled back “Who’s there?”

John turned off his flashlight and crouched down to load his rifle as he began to shake. Unfortunately, John dropped his bullets in the leaves as he nervously tried to load the rifle. He heard footsteps approaching him as he stood as silent as he could. John’s stomach sank as he felt a hand on his shoulder.

He quickly turned on the flashlight as both men yelled with fear.

John said “What in the world are you doing out here?”

John had run into his neighbor’s son, Dave.

Dave said “I upset the old folks so they kicked me out for the night. I was out here looking for my phone after my dad threw it, but then I heard something and got scared, and that was when I ran into you. Why are you out here this late?”

John looked down and said “Buddy is missing.”

Dave said “I have nothing better to do so let me help you find him man.”

So the two men began walking through the woods filled with darkness in search of Buddy.

After about an hour or so of searching for his lost dog, John decided to return home and invited Dave to stay for the night. When they got back, Dave made some drinks for the two of them and they sat down by the fireplace.

John sighed and said “what a night.”

Dave looked up at him and said “thanks for letting me stay, I will help you find Buddy tomorrow morning, we better get up extra early in case he went too far.”

John said “I appreciate your help, but why did your parents even kick 3 you out?” They have always been so patient and nice.”

Dave sat back in his chair and said “It’s a long story, but here’s the short end of it… I had just gotten home from my new job at the super- market in town, and my dad came home from work early. He called me in the kitchen to where he was sitting reading the weekly newspaper. In one of the stories, I was mentioned and not for something good. He found out I had been skipping my classes in order to go partying, and I had been arrested for drunk driving last week. All my father wanted for me was to graduate from college and I had not been following the path he wanted for me.”

John said “Sometimes we make mistakes in life, and we must live with them, but they are no good unless we can learn from those mistakes.”

Dave said “thanks for understa…”

John’s cell phone began to ring. It was a call from an unnamed num- ber. Dave looked at the number and said “That’s my number!” So Dave decided to answer the call.

On the other end of the line was a low voice that sounded muffled. As Dave began to say hello, the call suddenly ended. Dave and John looked at each other in silence. The two men were confused and filled with fear. They both agreed to get a good night of rest and solve their problems the next morning.

Early the next morning, John woke Dave up to start their search. They made breakfast, sitting in silence, and starred at one another in fear. Dave pack his bag with some dog treats and water for their journey.

Dave said “I am not comfortable about that phone call we heard last night.”

John said “It was probably nothing someone must have found your phone and was trying to return it to the owner.”

The two men set out to head to town. Dave went to the printer shop to create flyers to help people recognize John’s dog. John went to the police station to ask them about any information that could relate to the disappearance of his dog. John also mentioned the phone call to Officer Daniels and he said he would look into it.

After a long day of searching, the men decided to go out to dinner for a day of hard work. John was getting hopeless as he thought Buddy was gone for good. The waiter took their order and headed back to the kitchen to get their drinks. Dave noticed a guy in a big overcoat slip past their table and leave a note on the end. Dave picked it up and began to read it.

The note said, “We have your dog and if you want to know why, meet us on the corner by the library down town tomorrow night, and come alone.”

4 Dave began to panic as the waiter brought them their orders, and ac- cidentally bumped into him as he quickly ran out of the restaurant. The waiter had a look of disgust on his face when John left some money on the table and quickly followed after Dave.

John said “What do you think it could be? Do you remember those guys that used to pick on you back in high school, and I bashed their windshield in earlier this summer? Could it be them?”

Dave said “No I don’t think they would ever do something this crazy and why would they mess with you, they thought I was the one who did it.”

So the day passed and Dave returned home to talk with his parents about his bad choices. He convinced them he would turn his ways around and start trying to turn his grades around in college. John headed home to prepare a plan for the next night as he had no clue who dropped off that note. As John was sitting at his computer going through his con- tacts, he received a phone call from Dave’s phone. He didn’t answer it this time and a voice mail was left.

John opened the voice mail and it said “John don’t forget tomorrow night be there or we will come to you. We are counting on you, don’t let us down.”

This sacred John, but he knew he had to go in order to save Buddy. He still was very confused why this was happening to him. John turned off all his lights to try and get some sleep, but he did not sleep very well that night as he could not get this meeting out of his mind. He kept questioning why this had to be happening to him and why his dog.

John went to work the next morning and started to break down. He sat down with his boss and told him the story and asked what he should do. His boss advised him to go to the police, but he let John make his own decision. After work, John got in his truck and found a letter in his driver’s seat. The letter stated that Buddy is waiting to return home, so don’t let him down, and a picture of his dog was attached to the letter. John drove to the library and parked his truck and got out. He walked to the corner and sat on a park bench as he waited to see what would happen. A large man wearing a mask approached him with Buddy on a leash. He handed over his dog and sat down next to him. John said “Who are you and what do you want?” The mysterious man said “I work for a man I am not able to speak of, but I have been watching you, and I see how you could work with computer servers in the past. We could use you on our team and we are not going to let you walk away, so welcome to the team. We will drop off a letter at your house tomorrow morning to state more details about who we are and what we do.” John said “Why did you take my dog from me? Why my dog? What did he do to you?” 5 He replied “We wanted you to come and we knew you would do anything to get your dog back because he is a part of your team and we work with one another like this we are all a team and we look out for one another. I have to go now the letter will explain more. Thanks for your time John.” John drove home with Buddy and received the letter the next morn- ing. The letter stated that they were an elite team of guys put together that were a band of robbers and they needed John’s help to hack in to security cameras on their jobs. John sealed back up the letter and drove directly to the police station where he handed it over to Officer Daniels. A few months went by as John continued his daily life in happiness with buddy. Officer Daniels left a voice mail on his phone one day say- ing for John to come down to the station. John immediately drove down there and sat down as Officer Daniels uncovered these men who were robbing various stores throughout the town. Officer Daniels said “You would never believe it, but Dave and his family were the ones behind this the whole time. Dave had his father leave you that voice mail and the man that approached you was Dave’s uncle. Their whole family has been robbing stores all throughout town and you helped us uncover this. Thank you and were sorry for this hap- pening to you, if anyone suspicious ever bothers you again just give me a call and I will be there.” John said “Thank you Officer Daniels. I cannot believe that it was them.” John returned home, turned on his TV and reclined in his chair with Buddy at his feet. He took a sip of his tea as he fell asleep in peace with his best friend finally home and no more mysterious notes or calls coming his way.

6 photo by Tommy Robinson, 12

7 Alaskan Hunt by Daniel Walsh, 12

With a rifle in his hands Jackson walks down a dirt road as the Alas- kan sun sets. Packing for a journey lasting many days, a hunter has many necessities. A tactical pack that can hold up to fifty pounds of equipment is strapped on the back of a hunter. Jackson carried a pistol holstered at his waist for quick withdrawal. Inside the main pack, you can find camp- ing gear and food for basic living needs. Ammo is kept in a Velcro pouch on the side of the pack. Binoculars are worn around the neck. In the back pocket of his pants, Jackson kept his wallet and a Talkie. There were 6 of them in the beginning. Calling for help, Jackson realized his pants were not waterproof as the Talkie was damaged and he lost contact with the other members of the group. All sense of direction was lost and the nearest civilization wasn’t anywhere in the sight of his binoculars. As he walked, a torn sleeve from a coat was found, as was a trail of blood and a track of footprints in the snow. As he followed, the footprints became more clear and got bigger and bigger. Jackson pulled his rifle closer to him, hugging it to his heart. As he followed the trail, he found more torn clothing hanging from trees and all over the ground lying in the bloodied snow. A crunch in the snow was heard from behind Jackson as a black figure emerged from the trees. A massive Grizzly bear had been trotting through the woods when Jackson stepped in its tracks. Jackson crouched down, held his rifle up, and took the shot. The grizzly charged at him as he reached for his pistol to finish the kill. He realized his pistol was not loaded as he began to panic. A loud shot was heard from behind him and the Grizzly Collapsed.

A game warden emerged from the woods asking “what are you doing out here alone?” Jackson explained that he had been separated from his group and investigated the bloodied trail. The warden said the Grizzly he had shot at had previously been shot and was wounded. It was the Grizzly’s blood he had been following. He asked about the torn clothing and the game warden said “what torn clothing?” Jackson lead him to the trail where he had seen the clothing and the game Warden said “You’ve mistaken someone’s marker for evidence. People tend to leave remnants of orange cloth behind to remember where they had been walking.” Jackson was relieved that no one had been hurt as for his friends, they 8 were searching for Jackson. The Game Warden was able to radio the group and reunite them with Jackson as they continued their journey. While on the helicopter back to town, Jackson said “next time we should stay in groups of two, I almost got lost out in the Alaskan wilder- ness.” Jackson’s friend Tom said “maybe you should pay more attention to your surroundings next time, after all we are all hunters here.” So the men arrived back in town and returned home, where they would rest up for their next trip, this time to Africa. The men were all retired and spent the last of their days hunting together and spending the rest of the money they had left. Jackson came home to a large meal prepared for him by his wife. Tom went home to a note stating that his wife had left him for his stubbornness. The next morning, Jackson and Tom got breakfast as they were best friends and ate out often. Tom said to Jackson “I have a problem and I need your help.” Jackson asked, “what is it?” Tom said “My wife left a note and left, taking all my money with her, what should I do?” Jackson said “Don’t worry about the money Tom, worry about losing your wife you have been married for over 30 years, and you are more concerned about your money? You need to focus on what is important in your life.” So the two men left a tip and left the restaurant. Tom and Jackson went to a meeting for their trip to Africa later that night. At the meet- ing, everyone starred at Tom as he walked in, making him feel very un- comfortable. He took a seat and no one said anything, so a red flag rose in his head. He got up and began to walk out of the room, but the men stopped him from leaving.

Jackson sat Tom back down, got him a glass of water, and said “Tom we planned this with your wife to help you, she is not leaving you, but she is spending some time away for you to heal. We think that money has taken over your mind, and you need to learn to gain respect back in to your life, so we all agreed to sign you up for a Religious class every other day to teach you what is really important in your life.” Tom refused to take the offer, but he knew in order to ever see his wife, or his money again, he needed to attend these classes. His first session began and he told his supervisor he didn’t need help and left the first time. On his way home from the meeting, he got in an accident and woke up in the hospital days later. Tom has been severely injured and the doctors thought he had a seventy-five percent chance of dying that day. Jackson was waiting there praying over him to wake up. His wife was there as well as all the other men hoping he was okay. Tom saw how ev- 9 erybody cared for him and immediately, something changed in him. Tom said, “I am sorry for not keeping those who care about me close to me and putting money before you guys. I have realized that there are more important things to live for in life than money, and I am willing to make a change.” His wife bent over and hugged him and she was crying from what he said. Tom was sent home from the hospital the next day, and instead of going to Africa to go hunting with his friends. He decided to use that money to donate to the very same hospital that saved his life. Tom real- ized that he could use his money to benefit his community rather than go on expensive hunts and own expensive things. His wife was on board with his decisions as she agreed to cut back on spending, and Tom and his wife helped fund a new school for medical studies in their town to help better improve that hospital. Tom wanted to put all his life’s efforts into the very place that could make miracles happen by saving him.

phoyo by Joe Migliazzo, 12 10 Things That We Love by Collin King,12 Since I was a little kid I have had a passion for cars. My love for cars all started one night when I was about eight or nine, and I could not fall asleep. I got out of bed and went out into the family room where my dad was sitting and watching an old movie. He let me join him and to- gether we watched the classic Steve McQueen movie Bullitt. Ever since I watched Steve McQueen racing through San Francisco I have had a deep love for cars. My grandpa was the proud owner of a 1968 fastback mustang and my dad used to tell me stories about them going out and driving around town in that classic American muscle car. My dad used to spend weekends throughout his middle school and high school years working on the mustang with my grandpa keeping it in good, running condition. As the years went on my grandpa became busy and spent less and less time keeping up with the maintenance, but even though my grandpa started to neglect his car my dad kept at it. Once my dad went off to college there was nobody at the house to work on the mustang and she was taking up a lot of room, so my grandpa took her down to his farm and stored her in his garage. It was there that the beautiful fastback sat for years without anyone touching her. My grandpa was upset that he no longer had the time or energy to take care of his car, and knew that she deserved an owner who would take good care of her, so as a graduation gift he gave his mustang to my dad. After getting the car my dad fixed it up and drove it nearly every day until he had kids. Once he became a family man he needed a more practical car to drive and once again the mustang went back into the garage where it sat for years. After that night where I watched Bullitt I started talking about that mustang used in the movie with my dad and expressing how cool I thought it was. After having a couple conversations about Bullitt, my dad told me that some of his favorite memories of him and my grandpa were the two of them working on their mustang and driving around town together. He asked me if I wanted to help him get her up and running again as it would be a good thing for me to learn how to do anyway. I immediately jumped his offer, since all I could think about was Steve McQueen and his car chase. We went down the farm put the fastback on our trailer and brought her back to our house where we could spend time taking care of her once again. I remember the first time I got to ride in the car after we got her running again, and it was one of the most enjoyable car rides that I have ever experienced. I immediately fell in love with our mustang and since then I have taken every chance I get to ride in her. Once I was old enough to start driving, I begged my dad to teach me how to drive his car since it was the only car I ever really wanted to ride in. After lots of patience and a lot of riding the clutch, I finally learned how to drive my dream car. Every so often my dad lets me take her out and I get to show her off to all my friends. I love showing her off to as many people as I can because I am proud of the car that I have put so much time and effort into. The mustang has really impacted my life in ways that I could not even imagine. Most kids grow up and they want to become a famous athlete, or a doctor, or follow in their parents’ footsteps. For me my relationship 11 with cars has been nothing but enjoyable. I love working on cars and seeing the finished product after putting everything together. My journey with our mustang has lead me to want to open up my own garage and fix up other people’s cars so they can experience the same joy that I get of just driving around with someone with the windows rolled down on a nice sunny day. Now every time we go out for a drive my dad and I race to grab the keys to see who gets to drive, and although I win almost every time, I still let my dad drive occasionally. My dad tells me that I remind him a lot of himself when he was a little kid and the similarity of the love that we share for the car. I hope that one day when I get older that my dad will do the same thing that his dad did and pass the car down to me. By now this 1968 fastback mustang is a part of the family and I would love to keep it in the family and maybe one day take my son for a drive in her.

photo by Mr. Farrell,Teacher

12 Trip to Belize by Collin King,12 My name is Sam Smith and I am a senior in high school. I’m a five foot five blue eyed man with blonde hair that parts to the right. I dress like I’m homeless because I’m always wearing a hoodie with sweat pants. I love playing soccer and I’ve played it all of my life. I wouldn’t miss a big soccer game for anything. At least that’s what I thought. About two years ago my soccer team moved on to the state semi- finals and I was super pumped because it was my first time moving on from the group stage. When I got home my mom sat me down and told me that she scheduled a trip with my whole family a long time ago and we are going to Belize. When she said that I was super happy because I never have traveled outside of the country before. She told me that we’re leaving two weekends from now and I still didn’t put two and two

photo by Jack Corwin,12 together. My mom finally told me that I would have to miss the semifi- nals game because she made a mistake planning the trip. I was hit with emotion of anger and sadness, because it was my dream to play in this game. I instantly said I’m not going on the trip and I’m staying here, but my mom said I had to go. This kind of debate went on for about a week until I finally gave up, even though I said I would go I still didn’t want to speak to my mom because I was still thinking about missing the game. The next week we left for the airport at three a.m. and got on our first plane to Atlanta. The airport at Atlanta was huge and beauti- ful. It looked like you were in one of the million dollar mansions with the 13 big chandlers and marble floors. We had to sit there for three hours until our next flight and time moved on super slowly. We didn’t walk around and explore, because my family wanted to just get to the port where our flight was. We left on a second plane that went from Atlanta to Belize. The flight especially toward the end of the flight was super shaky and I thought the plane was going to go down. We finally arrived and instantly everything was different from what I was use too. The runways concrete looked old and had a lot of pot holes. The airports building was small and was a nasty yellow color. There were palm trees everywhere and the air had a weird type of smell that reminded me of honey. The people down there spoke English so we didn’t have a lot of problems with that and the workers were super nice. The workers down at Belize were kinder then the workers in the US. We went to the place where a third plane would take us to the place where we are staying. We got to the port and looked outside and I instantly said, “Please don’t tell me this is the plane we’re leaving on.” My dad always hates flying and I could instantly see his face turn ghost white and I knew he was nervous. The plane was one of those really small ones that you never think exist anymore. This plane must have been super old and looked like it was created during WWII. We boarded the plane and there were only two seats per row and I got a window seat right behind the pilot. We started to gain some speed and the pilot literally waited to the last minute to lift off of the ground. The beginning of the plane ride was smooth and didn’t worry me, but all the sudden I see this huge storm cloud and we’re heading straight for it. We go straight into it and the rain sounded like bombs hitting off of this little plane and you could see giant flashes of lightning. The plane began to shake and I looked back at my dad who was one row behind me and he had his eyes closed shaking and this is where I got super worried. My mom was sitting in the copilot’s seat and she told me that the pilot was sweating badly and was shaking. She then told me that the pilot took his wedding ring off and was holding this and I’m pretty sure he thought we were going to die. We finally get out of this storm cloud and right when we get out of it we can see the airport we’re supposed to land at right ahead and the pilot had to go down fast in order to make it. We finally landed and this flight that was only forty minutes felt like a three-hour one. The runway we landed on was basically dirt and the airport building was the size of a large hut. One funny thing that happened was my cousin who was seven at this point, said that he left his phone on the plane and we look back and see the plane taking off and he started to scream and cry as the plane flew away. The airport didn’t give us a car to get to the place we’re staying; so we had to take two golf carts and it was an hour ride. I actually liked the ride because I got to see all of the views of this interesting country. The first ten minutes of the ride the homes were kind of small and you could tell that it was a little bit poor, but for the next twenty minutes of the ride the area we drove past was dirty poor. The houses were super small and basically huts and tons of people were just sitting on the streets. I kind of got a little scared, because the people would stare as you drove past in this slow golf cart. When we got past that areas out of nowhere were these big houses. We got to our house and the house was built like nothing I’ve seen before. The front door was pretty much open because it looked like a screen door without the screen. This was terrible because there were geckos everywhere. We walk in and the first thing we see is this 14 big swirly stair case leading upstairs, this big beautiful chandelier, and a water fountain. I went to the back and there was no door leading to the back it was just open and it lead out to a super nice pool that if you walked ten steps past that you’re on the beach. The first thing everybody did was sleep, because we were super tired from traveling all day. I wake up and the first thing I see is our own personal chief making us breakfast. He made these weird eggs with all types of stuff in there and it surprisingly was really good. All we did that day was swim in the pool, go to the beach, or watch soccer. The second day was my favorite day because we went snorkeling. We went to this place where they took us very far out into the sea on this boat and took us to various spots. The first spot there were a lot of little first that were all different colors and beautiful corals and underwater things. The second spot was by this little island and the first got a little bigger, but there were less of them this time and it wasn’t that exciting. The third spot was my favorite and it was far out by these crab boats. We pull up next to these boats that were just slicing up crab into the sea and you could see these big shadows underwater. The tour guy said that those shadows are sharks or big turtles and then said this is where we’re going to be snorkeling. My first thought was hell no I’m not getting in, but the tour guide said that the sharks are friendly and won’t hurt us so I said screw it and I was the first one who got in. The first think I see was this pretty decent sized shark about twenty feet from me and I almost pissed my pants. I swam toward these huge turtles where you could see all of the moss and things on its back. I swam down a little and touched the back of this turtle and instantly I hear somebody screaming from the surface. I swam up as fast as I could because me first thought was that somebody got bit by a shark. Right when my head reached the surface I see this nature freak lady with dreads screaming in my face saying that I just gave a turtle cancer. I was super confused so I asked her what the hell she was talking about and she said since I touched the turtles back I probably gave him cancer. That was my first time hearing something like that so I just apologized and swam away. After this the tour was over and we went back to the house. That was pretty much it for the rest of the day, because that takes some serious energy out of you. The next day we decided to go to this waterfall place that apparently are up in these mountains. We had to pack everybody in the car and of course I was chosen to be in the trunk. The roads leading to this place were dirt so it was a little bumpy but nothing too bad. It started to get horrible when we got to the moun- tains because the road was also dirt, but on a mountain so we’re hitting a pothole every five feet we drive. This means that I literally was flying around in the trunk hitting my head on anything possible. We finally get the and it was a long walk up these concrete stairs to this waterfall. I had to pee so I went into this place where it looked like an unfinished bath- room and mid pee I hear this noise so I look up and see about six bats hanging from the ceiling. I had to stop what I was doing and sprint. My heart had never raced fasted and I thought it was going to explode from my chest. After I calmed down we continued and finally reached the top. The waterfall was a smaller version of what you dream about, but it was still beautiful. There was this ledge that you could climb up and basically use as a diving board so that what we did about the whole time. The next day we found out that my team lost and I instantly became sad, but that was erased from my mind because we went on a 15 tour of this chocolate factory. We explored the fields where they grow it, where they make it, and how they package it. At the end of the tour they gave us some pieces to try out and when I tried it I almost threw up. I chose the piece they call orange chocolate and it taste exactly like how it sounds. That was by far the worst thing I have ever tasted in my life. When we got back to the house we noticed that my grandpa was covered in what looked like bites and we later on found out he had 65 mosquito bites on him. The rest of the day we drove around exploring and we went out to eat at this really nice food place on the beach. The rest of the remaining days we basically stayed at the house and nothing really exciting happened. The flights home was way better than the first. This was one of my best experiences and it one-hundred-percent made up for me missing the big game.

photo by John Pukala,AD

16 The Kid Secret by Nate Martens, 12 As Tim made his way to the front door he paused for a second. His mood had shifted in the past thirty feet from being overjoyed to upset and confused. He walked in the door with a long face curious about where his parents were in the house. He was scared. He did not like the loud noises especially when it was Mom and Dad talking to each other. He recognized the sound coming from upstairs and slowly started the trek up stairs. Head down trying to listen and understand what they are talking about but it scared him. He did not know what had caused such a terrible thing to happen between Mom and Dad. He started to tear up. The load of emotions that was in his head he did not know how to express it other than cry. As he got to the top of the stairs, the noise was intense. His curiosity took over. He started to walk towards the shouting. He turned the corner and saw his mom close to his dad yelling and point- ing at him. He bawled harder, he couldn’t control it anymore. His emo- tions were too wild to comprehend. He hurried to his room and closed the door. Jumping on to his bed, head in pillow to control his crying. He hears his mom calling for him to come in but doesn’t want to answer. After calming down he decides to figure out what had caused this. He cracked his door to see who was outside. His mom gave him a small smile and asked, “Honey, are you alright?” Tim knew he wasn’t but he wanted to act brave. Sniffling and wiping away tears he replied, “I’m fine” “Can I come in and talk with you?” He replied shortly saying, “Yeah you can come in.” He fully opened the door and let her in. He went back to sit on his bed and his mother followed. His mom said, ”Do you remember when I told you people that love one another that they sometimes fight? Sniffling again he said, “Yes” As she sat down, she started to explain, “Well your father and I are disagreeing on something and having an argument about it. This does not mean we love you less or anything to do with you.” “What were you guys arguing about?” “We were arguing about adult things. You are too young to under- stand.” Tim was upset. How was his mom supposed to tell him what he can and can’t understand? He whipped around and pulled the cover over his body as if to dismiss his mom. Tim wanted to know but started to think if it would make it worse. As he tried to think, his mind started to shut down.

Waking up now, Tim looked to his clock. 6:15pm. His mom was prob- ably about done with dinner. He started to think again about what had happened. He was still half asleep so he did not have real emotions about it. He looked around and started out of his room. As he started to walk down the stairs, all noise stopped in the house. He knew his parents would be staring at him but he didn’t want to talk with them. He thought, maybe if I just stay quiet and eat fast, I can just go back 17 upstairs after. Walking into the kitchen he sees his brother sitting there. Tim instantly smiled. He couldn’t control himself because of how much he loved and missed him. Being gone for long periods of time now that he was at college was hard on Tim and the rest of his family. Sitting down, Tim looked to his brother trying not to focus on his parents and said, “Hey Will, how has college been going man? Haven’t seen you in a while.” Setting down his fork and finishing chewing replied,“It’s been good.

photo by Max Van Sciever, 12

Classes have been good. Social life has been good.” Silence. The rest of the dinner was silent. Nobody said a word. Every- one ate their food and cleaned up. Something was definitely up in the family. Shortly after everything was cleaned up, Tim started to go back towards his room. Will followed him. Sitting down together on his bed, Will said, “I understand why you are upset, it’s okay to be confused and curious about what is going on. Mom and Dad argued when I still lived here, but they always made up and things were good again.” Tim felt hopeful, his spirit was lifted. “Really? That makes me feel better.” “Well this time is a little different. Dad made a mistake and mom is very upset.” Tim was punched in the stomach. His spirit immediately fell. “What does that mean, Will? Are they going to be okay?” “I don’t know. Dad made a pretty big mistake.” “What happened?” Tim was impatient now. First his mom told him that he wouldn’t understand and now even his brother wouldn’t tell him. “Tell me Will! I want to know.” “Alright fine, but I warned you. Dad didn’t make a mistake; he just doesn’t love Mom much anymore. They have argued about this kind of stuff for a while now but it is starting to get bad. They are talking right now about not living together anymore and getting unmarried.” “Unmarried? What does that mean?” “It means that they won’t be married and they could start to love other people.” 18 Tim looked down in a state of wonder. He did not understand com- pletely but knew enough that they wouldn’t be together. Eyes starting to fill with water, Will scooted closer to Tim and put his arm around him. Tim did not know what the future held for him. Who do I have to live with? Will I ever get to see my mom or dad again? What would hap- pen to Will? A flood must have been in Tim’s head as he let it all out. The unknown scared Tim and every time he thought about a different way this situation would turn, a new wave of tears rolled down his puffy cheeks. How was a first grader supposed to handle this he thought to himself? He wanted to be like his brother. Strong, confident, and wor- riless. Will seemed bold. He did not show weakness in this news. He understood, as if this was something that happened all the time but this was Tim’s first experience with it. Will walking down with his brother, shared a smile. They both did worry about what the future of the relationship between his parents was going to be when they walked downstairs. As they reached the bottom of the steps, their parents were still sitting at the table, silently eating. Ap-

photo by Max Van Sciever, 12 proaching the table, Tim’s parents look up to see them coming towards them. His father said, “Hey boys, you guys all good now? You guys want to watch football with us tonight?” Tim was confused. His mom never watched football with them. Was this a sign of them making an effort to make things work? Could things finally start to look up? Will says, “No, I had plans tonight with some of my high school friends. Sorry but maybe another time.” Chilling news. Tim was now nervous to sit with his parents after an awkward night at dinner. The one good thing though is that he liked football. Loved football. He would sometimes draw plays in a notebook that he kept buy his bed. He would watch old games to see how the game has changed from then to now. He knew all of the legends that had played before. He played in multiple fantasy leagues where he constantly won the league. If it wasn’t for how un-athletic he was, he would play football night and day. 19 Finding his seat in the recliner, Tim was excited for the game to- night because it was his team playing, the Green Bay Packers. Tim was a diehard cheese head. He wrote research papers about the team, he could dress himself head to toe in Packers gear, and he always watched high- lights from years’ past. His favorite player was the quarterback, Aaron Rodgers. He loved how he played the game running around the field and throwing the ball really hard and far to the receivers. They needed to win tonight to help their playoff chances. Tim had a special connection with football and his father. Ever since his dad introduced him to it when he was like five, he probably hadn’t missed more than three games total. They shared watching the games together and talking about them for hours and hours on end. His brother was not really into football, sadly more of a soccer guy. The con- nection had really brought him and his father closer together. As the game started, his mother got up and started towards the kitchen. She moved quickly. She was getting out of dodge. Wasn’t she going to watch the game with them? Tim switched that thought immedi- ately. When his mother got up quick and huffed before swiftly moving to a different room, he knew what that meant. Unlikely that she was going to join them again, his father then kicked his legs out to the other end of the couch. Tim got up. He wanted it to work badly, really badly. He missed simpler times when the whole family was smiling together, loving each other, no shouting or arguing. He hopped up. Whipped around. Going to put on his sweet boy act to try and get his mom to come back in but then he looked. He was heartbroken. Tears falling from her heavy eyes. Hurt, broken, confused his mother stood there. He went from sweet boy to caring boy like a light switch. Tim wrapped his arms around her, softly kissed her head and brought her into his embrace. He felt bad for her, what she was going through even though he had never experienced it. She slowly detached and softly said, “I’m going to go shower and go to bed. Have a good time with your father.” Tim let go and returned to the living room. He looked at his dad, angry now. How could he do such a horrible thing to such a wonder person? Let alone his mother? But there he was, laying there, hand down his pants, belly hanging out the bottom of his shirt. He was a bum. A sleazy, dishonest, fat bum that had made his mother cry and he didn’t seem to care. Tim calmly sitting back in his chair started thinking, what question am I going to ask this slim ball. He got it, he knew the exact question to demonstrate all the emotion he had towards him. Tim very Fonz like, said, “Why would you do that to her?” Like Father, Like Son By Nate Martens, 12

School. How does anyone seem to enjoy it? I mean yeah it is important and it will help me grow to have a good job and good life. But it sucks when you are actually doing it. I don’t know if I can handle it anymore. Here is why I’m saying this. Last week I was sitting in English class on my computer when my teacher came up to me. He said, “I’m going to give you a demerit because your phone is out.” 20 I’m confused for a second. I’m not looking at my phone. I’m not doing anything with it. Then I start looking for it and it was out. It was face down on my desk. I was not on it. I was not listening to music with it. I was not doing anything with it. And this dude was going to give me a demerit. “Are you kidding me? I am not even using it!” I was ticked. This was so stupid. I had heard that it had hap- pened to someone last week and they ended up serving JUG. JUG is where you sit in hell and write a poem. But I wasn’t going to get in trouble for doing nothing. “Well the rule is that you cannot have it visible for us to see.” “I was not using it though? Why should I get in trouble for you being able to see it?” “It’s just the rule.” Holy moly. I hate that combination of words. “It’s just the rule.” I don’t care if it is the rule because the rule is not logical. My dad feels the same way about people sticking to the rule or just not doing the ethical thing. My dad has always had a problem with people being this way like their life would depend on it. Especially if we were out to eat and something went wrong. One time when we were sitting at Buffalo Wild Wings. We were sitting there for close to 30 minutes waiting for our drinks while our waitress was talking to other people and taking a break at the front desk. As she came over finally with our drinks, he had that look. It was somewhat of a calm look, but a calm angry look. Bottom lip tucked, eyes bulging with a sharp stare. You loved and hated that look. Loved it when he was doing it to someone else and hated it when it was at you. Because you knew, whoever got it, was going to want to visit their momma after it. He laid into her. Talking fast, expressing every feeling. He finished by wanting to see the manager. Now you sit at the table as a spectator having mixed emotions. Proud. Embarrassed. Excited. Nervous. You are excited because you like to see your father stand up to people. You don’t like people pointing fin- gers and whispering to the person next to them. You are excited because you know it’s not over yet, but nervous because you don’t know if it’ll turn in a very wrong direction. The manger comes and they start to hash it out. You calmly con- tinue to eat like nothing is going on. No progress is being made towards resolution, just the back and forth of two guys trying to puff their chests to determine who’s the alpha. Now you want it over. My dad said, “I don’t care what you do anymore. I wanted you to say “sorry”!” “We can give you a coupon for your next visit.” “Well that will be useless because I’m thinking I am never coming back here” “Sir can we please resolve this manner?” “You can say “sorry” like I asked you too!” Never did he say it. Not once. Now how stupid do you have to be to not do the exact thing someone is telling you to? Especially if it is as easy to say. It is two words that would have avoided a 10-minute argu- ment. Now back to school. I’m upset ready to just starting going off. I’m moving in my seat, fidgeting, huffing, and puffing. He was not going to do this crap to me. Getting out of my desk, making a lot of noise. 21 Then halfway to the teacher’s desk, I decide I need to calm down. Deep breaths, flicking my hands, moving my neck. I nicely ask the teacher, “Can we talk about that for a second? I wasn’t using my phone, I had my phone on the desk because it kept falling out of my pocket.” “Okay, I understand what you are saying.” “Thanks, so are you going to not give me a demerit?” “Yeah, I’ll erase it.” “Thank you.” Then I did something really really stupid. I regret it as I’m writ- ing this. I started to act like my dad. I was dreading the two words my dad looked for. “Aren’t you going to say sorry?” “Excuse me?” “I think you owe me an apology.”

photo by Max Van Sciever, 12

“That is not how you talk to me. Instead of a demerit for having your phone out, I’m just going to give you a JUG for being disrespectful.” “Are you kidding? You were the one overreacted! You are the one who wronged in the first place.” The whole class was staring. I had all of those feelings I had back at Buffalo Wild Wings but now I was the one shouting. I learned in this situation as I sat in the principal’s office and on the drive home with my mother to not act like my dad. I love my dad and have always strived to be like him. I can’t wait for him to get out of prison. I haven’t seen him in like 6 years since his assault charge. It was a really stupid thing. The guy wouldn’t say sorry.

22 Jordan’s First Day by Jack Knott, 12 It was a great day for Jordan. It was his first day at preschool and he was more than excited to go to school. He was so anxious and would not stop asking his parents what time they were leaving for the ten-minute drive to Oak Springs Preschool. Jordan learned many new things that day at school. He met a lot of new friends and already started to have a crush on a girl in his class. Everything was going great for Jordan. His mom picked him up from school and gave him a big hug. She had dried up tears on her cheeks under her eyes, but Jordan didn’t seem to notice. He went on and on about all the fun things he did at school that day on the ride home. He talked about how all the other students liked him and they thought he was funny. He told his mom about how they got to play kickball at re- cess and how he hit a home run. All of the kids were very impressed with Jordan. He was good at sports and he was also a good student inside the classroom. When Jordan and his mom got home, Jordan jumped out of the car to run inside to tell his father all the fun things he did at school. He yelled for his father when he opened the garage door. There was no answer. Jordan ran downstairs to his dad’s office where his Dad had been sitting next to the fireplace, drinking a glass of some sort. Jordan did not know what he was drinking, but he knew it was some old person drink that makes you act weird. Jordan’s dad stood up with a stumble and said, “Hey kid.”

Jordan’s dad had his nice button down shirt untucked and his shoes were off. He was really stressed, but Jordan could not see that. All the sudden Jordan’s mom came downstairs and sat next to her husband. Jordan was so glad to see his mom join them because he had a lot more stories to tell them about his first day. “Jordan,” said his Dad, “There’s something we need to talk to you about.” Ever since Jordan moved in with his mother he couldn’t stop thinking about seeing his dad. This would be the first time he would see his dad since the day of the divorce. Even though Jordan was young he still had an idea of what was going on here. He knew his parents had moved into separate houses, but that was about it. He was so excited to see his dad that he made him a card saying how much he misses him. When Jordan’s dad’s car pulled up to his mom’s driveway; Jordan ran outside and gave his dad the biggest hug he had ever given to him. Jordan’s mom was smiling from the window inside the house as Jordan’s dad picked him up and swung him around. “Hey kiddo!” Jordan’s dad screamed. “How are you?” “I’ve missed you dad. I’m glad your home again,” said Jordan.

23 “I’m not going to be home for too long Jordan,” said his dad sadly. “Why not daddy?” said Jordan disappointed. Jordan’s dad picked him up again and walked inside the house. “Hi Martha. How have you been?” said Jordan’s dad as he walked inside. “I’ve been good Jim. How about yourself?” said Martha. “Oh you know me Martha. I’ve been taking it one step at a time,” said Jim. Jordan ran off to his room. Jim stepped into the kitchen with Martha. “Would you like something to eat?” asked Martha. “Are you sure? I was going to stop on the way home and get some- thing, said Jim.

photo by Jack Knott,12 “Of course. I just made spaghetti and meatballs. I think it would be nice for all three of us to sit down and eat as a family,” said Martha. “Spaghetti and meatballs. My favorite,” laughed Jim. “Hey! That’s my favorite too,” said Jordan running out of his room into the kitchen. They all started laughing together. Jordan and his dad, Jim, set the table while Jordan’s mom was touching up the spaghetti and meat- balls. Jordan’s mom had picked out a nice chocolate chip ice cream cake earlier that day for desert. Jordan has been waiting for dinner all day because all he could think about was that ice cream cake. 24 Once they all sat down at the dinner table Jordan began to dig into the spaghetti and meatballs, but his dad stopped him. “I’d like to say Grace before we eat,” said Jordan’s dad. Grace? Martha was thinking. He never says Grace before dinner. “Dear God. I want to thank you for this opportunity for us to be reunited together again. I want to thank you for Jordan’s amazing mom. For all the hard work she does. I want to thank you for my healthy son, Jordan, and for an amazing day. Amen,” said Jordan’s dad. “Amen,” said Jordan and Martha in unison. Jordan began to dig in to the spaghetti and meatballs and his dad poured everyone a glass of milk. The food was delicious and there were plenty of conversations being discussed all night long. After dinner they had desert, which Jordan couldn’t wait to have. He was smearing it all over his face and when he looked up at his mom and dad they just laughed. After desert was games. They got out a deck of cards and played Kings in the Corner’s. It was an old card game that Jim had taught Jordan a long time ago. It was Jordan’s favorite card game. they were all having such a good time laughing and laughing that eventually they lost track of time.

photo by Jack Knott,12 25 “Oh man,” said Jim. “I should probably get going. It’s getting late.” “Aww please stay longer,” Jordan said. “No, Jordan your daddy has to get home now before it gets too late,” said his mom. “Come here kiddo!” Jordan’s dad said. Jordan ran to his dad and gave him the biggest hug. “I’m going to miss you dad,” said Jordan sadly. “I’m going to miss you too buddy. Martha, it was great to see you again,” said Jim. Jordan’s dad grabbed his things and started to walk to the front door. “You know what,” said Martha. “Why don’t you come over tomorrow night for dinner again.” “Say yes daddy. Please. You have to,” yelled Jordan. “Of course. I would love to,” said Jim. Jordan was so excited to see his dad tomorrow night. He won- dered though why his mom and dad had stopped seeing each other. After tonight, Jordan thought that they were so happy together and that they should be back together. Jordan knew his mom was happy and had a feeling that his parents were getting back together all because of spaghet- ti and meatballs.

26 Tryouts by Jack Knott, 12 Sam and Jacob worked so hard to get where they have gotten today. It was the last day of tryouts for the Varsity High School soccer team at La Salle High in Oklahoma. They were dripping in sweat from head to toe. It was one of the hottest days in the summer of July. The two brothers have been training together since last winter for the Varsity tryouts. The two boys loved soccer with all their heart and it was the only thing that kept them going in life. They really did have a heart for the sport. When they were just five years old they begun to play CYC soccer. They were twins, so they were always playing soccer together on the same team. Sam wasn’t really bet- ter than Jacob and Jacob wasn’t really better than Sam. They were both equally talented at the sport. Both of their dreams were to go to high school together and win a state title on the same team. When the two brothers finished their tryouts, they got in their car and drove back home to go jump in the pool on this hot summer day. The water was freezing cold and felt just right with the hot weather warm- ing their skin. They began to talk about the tryouts and how they went. They both agreed that they played good and really showed the coaches what kind of players they really were. The two brothers would have to come back to the school the following day to see if they made the team or not. “How do you think you played today?” said Jacob. After flipping his wet hair back, Sam said, “I don’t know man. I’m feeling pretty nervous about this.” “What do you mean, nervous? You killed it out there!” said Jacob. “Thanks bro, but I just couldn’t finish today during the 1v1 drill,” Sam said. During tryouts that day, Sam didn’t have such a good 1v1 drill. He was nervous and let it get to his head too much. Sam went up against a returning varsity player and Sam was only a Junior, but that shouldn’t matter. He let the thought get to his head too much that the senior was better than him because he was already on the team. He knew that all the focus was on him because he was yet to make the team. Each time the goalie would play the ball to Sam, he freaked out and just tried to shoot it. He didn’t make any moves on the defender, which is what the coaches want to see. Instead he got the ball and immediately turned and missed the net. “Come on man. You can’t be talking about that one stupid drill,” said Jacob. “Yeah man I really messed up. I got nervous and gave the ball away. I couldn’t even score one goal, Sam complained. 27 photo by Jack Knott, 12

28 “Oh come on. Don’t worry about it, you’ll be fine,” demanded Jacob. “Yeah well, I hope so.” Sam said nonchalantly. “Come on, let’s play some pool basketball,” said Jacob trying to lighten the mood. The brothers began to horse around in the pool and play a game of basketball. This was one of their favorite things to do on a hot summer day like today. They were each other’s best friends. They did everything together. Sam got out of the pool and jumped off the diving board doing a backflip. “Wooh! I bet you can’t do that,” said Sam. Jacob got up and ran to the diving board trying to show off. He started running off the diving board and slipped on the wet surface. Ja- cob fell into the water and when he came back up to the surface he was screaming. “Son of a bitch!” yelled Jacob. “I twisted my ankle!” Sam swam over to him and helped him out of the pool. Jacob was in extreme pain and told Sam to get mom and dad. Sam ran inside and yelled for his mom and dad and they came rushing outside. “What happened?” yelled his mom. “I slipped on the diving board and twisted my ankle really bad,” said Jacob in excruciating pain. Sam and his dad carried Jacob inside and laid him on the coach in the family room. Sam got a bag of ice and held it on his brother’s ankle. His ankle was already starting to swell.

“We need to take you in to the doctor today Jacob. Sam why don’t you come with us,” said his mom. “Ya, sure,” Sam said. When they got to the hospital they saw a specialized sports doc- tor. The doctor told Jacob he broke a couple bones and tore some liga- ments in his ankle. He told him that it was highly unlikely that he would be able to play soccer this season. After they got back in the car, Jacob started to cry. Not because of the pain, but because he was just told that he can’t play soccer this year for his high school team. He was so angry at himself. He knew he should have never jumped off that diving board. Jacob started to scream out loud. Soccer was his life and now that was taken from him all be- cause he tried to run off the diving board in his pool. “Jacob it’s going to be okay. You’re going to get through this,” said Sam.

29 “No. I don’t think I will. Sam, this is your time now. I want you to take my place on the team and play for me,” said Jacob. Sam was shocked. He had never thought that this would have become an option for him. “I promise you that I will do everything I can and I will play for you brother,” said Sam. Jacob called the coach on the phone that day and told him ev- erything that happened. He was not happy about it at all. He wished him to get better and told him that they could really use him this season. The next day at tryouts Jacob came to watch the team in his boot with crutches. He was watching Sam play and he thought Sam looked really good out there. It was the last day of tryouts and the Var- sity team would be made after practice. Once practice was finally over, the coaches called players over. They started reading off names and Sam noticed that the names they were reading off were the better kids of the team that should be guaran- teed to make it. Sam was really nervous, but Jacob was not. Sam heard his name and so he walked over to the group where all the others names were called too. “Congratulations gentlemen. You’ve just made this year’s varsity squad,” said their coach. “Wohoo!” yelled Jacob. When Sam walked over to Jacob after it was all over, Jacob gave him a big hug. Sam was crying just a little bit because this really meant a lot to him. He didn’t think he was going to make the team and now he just did. “I can’t wait for you to kill it out there Sam. You’re going to be amaz- ing brother,” said Jacob all excited.

“Thanks Jacob. I’m going to win a state title this year just for you, I promise,” said Sam.

30 A Broken Lapse of Reason by Daniel Sparks, 12

Barry’s room is a mess. Clothes were thrown everywhere as if a tor- nado had entered the scene. Soda cans are stacked upon shelves and some are tipped over. Empty pill bottles resided his nightstand. He lies on his bed with his head pointed towards the ceiling. Eyes gazing for such a long distance without direction. The room is dimly due to the blinds obscuring the light from the bright sun. A song called “Brain Damage” from the album Dark Side of the Moon by Pink Floyd played on his phone, which was connected to speakers. The foul bodily odor that comes from him implies of having not been clean for quite some time. Barry feels content that he has the modest freedom to go to vari- ous places around his local town named Tweed, which sat in a remote location in the middle of nowhere. His parents are out of town for the weekend. Tweed was almost as if it was a slice of heaven. The town itself had all the necessities that one would require to live comfortably. It was architecturally designed with two concentric circles made of streets. The streets were paved of the highest quality. The concrete itself was lavished in a healthy dark tone, which reflected the effort and care placed into the streets Along with the concrete, the road markings seemed always to be freshly lined The streets stretched for quite a distance. The intersections on the streets were oddly geometrical in the way they are positioned. Among the streets, the sidewalks were much like the streets, which looked of a pristine finish. There was a smaller circle, which was the focal point of the town. Night clubs, bars, convenience stores, restaurants, and fast- food joints were mostly what the smaller circle consisted of. At night, the smaller circle was almost as bright as day. Gleaming lights stood on al- most every corner of the circle. The inhabitants wear some sort of untidy motley get-up. They are people that do not have a care in the world and seemed as if their lives are content. The smaller circle seemed more of the socially-attracted part of the town, however, the outer circle is somewhat in contrast to the smaller circle. Along the streets of the outer circle laid mostly suburban neighborhoods and industrial-esque areas. Quiet neigh- borhoods, in fact, however, the same could not be said for the industrial part of the town, which was louder than the suburban area, but quieter than inner-circle’s downtown area. Harrison Park is the town’s most popular park. People commonly relax there. Families, bikers, and numer- ous elderly individuals who seemed to enjoy chess quite a lot. The young fresh oak trees were littered all over the park’s hills and flat ground, but stop near the park’s lake, which was so very blue. A beautiful lake that reflects the sun’s rays and is a reminder of the beauty of nature. The park is most likely one of the most populated areas within the town. Es- sentially, the town he lived in is a small slice of heaven placed onto the Earth. Barry reminds himself of how fortunate he is to have the luxury of living in such a great place. With the understanding of how much freedom he has, Barry feels relieved. His 18th birthday happened recently. It was a strange feeling for him. Being considered an adult, but not having the responsibilities of one conflicted with Barry’s view on himself. He thought to himself, “What is 31 to be expected of me?” The ques- tion internally lingered in his mind. It was one of the questions that was eating at him from the inside due to his paranoia. It bothered him greatly. He continued to lie on top of his bed looking at the ceiling with an empty gaze. His eyes trav- eled a thousand yards or more. Barry wants to get out of his bed. It is the weekend and the weekend is great for spending time with yourself and friends. He had the strength for his own self-derision regarding how he views himself, but that strength could not be allocated photo by Daniel Sparks, 12 towards an action more meaningful than his self-deprecating thoughts. Where his low self-esteem origi- nates is unknown. It is strange due to the fact that his low self-esteem does not reflect how he truly feels. It is at if he is under the influence of alcohol, uncontrollable and unpredictable reflect how he perceives his self-esteem. Lying on his bed, many intense emotions pour in from the depths. It falls onto him like he is being drenched against his will. Barry sits up from his fixed position feeling more self-aware than usual. His feet felt lighter than normal and he had the energy to do more than he possibly could. As he stands from his bed, he realizes there is a glimmer of light that surrounds him. Upon closer inspection of this ominous glimmer, he comes to the realization that the glimmer originates from some sort of metallic bars. Caged with no conceivable way to get out, Barry’s anxiety was over- flowing. At some point despair came from the outside and entered the cage. It stabbed across and all over as if he was having acupunctures of negative emotions. The pain settled in and he shouted, but no one seemed to hear. The pain was unbearable, and he had to get out urgent- ly. If he did not, then certainly some immediate danger would happen. As he scurries over to the bars that he faces, he abruptly realized he was being restrained by the neck. He begins to shift his hands onto whatever object that is restraining him. He clenches the object and questions what it could be. It felt as if it was made from leather, almost like a belt. He goes with the notion that it may as well be one. The belt that he is restrained by began to progressively tighten. It tightened and tightened and so it decided to choke Barry. Gasping and gagging for fresh air, his face started to change colors and as well as his eyes. Tears flowed onto his cheeks. Suddenly, the floor collapsed and revealed the deep desolate darkness that lead to the unknown. Barry was hanging. He shouted, and no one seemed to hear. With his hands placed on his own belt he began to pull. He pulled and pulled as hard as he could. Adrenaline raced around his body. The leather from the belt dug into his hands. Breaking the skin and burning his hands, Barry attempted to scream, but could not for the belt was restricting him from so. In his favor, the belt began to tear at the seams. The belt tore, and Barry was released from his own attempt on his life. 32 No longer being restrained from his own belt, he fell into the desolate abyss below. He flails his arms and he screams. He shouts, and no one seems to hear. The hole he fell seemed to be contain nothing. It was not empty, just devoid of anything and everything, but Barry. For each pass- ing second of him falling, thoughts and emotions raced through his mind. “Why am I so numb, yet in so much pain?”. He questioned for what probable reason that he may have to be in so much pain. He felt that he tries to be a good person, but his reward for doing so is unsatisfac- tory. He questioned God and asked why terrible things happened to good people. He received no response of course and kept falling through the abyss. As he fell for hours, he turns his body around and he faces whatever is below him. At some point a light brightens below him. It progressively brightens and at some point, it is as bright as the sun. Barry is blinded by the light and collides with another object. It seems as if he reached the bottom of the abyss, the bottom of the barrel, and the point of no return. He screams in horror at the sight at what had just happened to his body. Arms were twisted in an abnormal way and were bent out of shape. He looks down at his body and realizes that his right leg is gone he looks at his surroundings and sees a bloody foot and a pile of flesh. His leg had exploded into gore upon impact. It was a very grotesque sight. He howled in intense pain. He had vertical cuts on his wrists that dug deeply. He could not remember why he had cuts on his wrists. It was not his doing. Four congruent walls surrounded Barry. Some blood splattered on these walls. As he lies in pain on the hard floor beneath him, he observes his surroundings. He hears a loud noise coming from an unknown loca- tion. It was so loud that it ruptured his ears. Barry could not make it out that well, but to him it sounded like a car horn. The pain he was expe- riencing was so much. It got to the point where he could not handle any more of it. He stopped moaning. He felt exhausted and wanted to sleep. Barry closed his eyelids, and everything went black. He heard another noise. This time Barry could tell it was in fact a car horn. He heard another one again and another one soon after…

Part 2

His eyelids opened, and Barry stared at the ceiling. He heard another car horn. Feeling sweaty and uncomfortable, he emerged from his bed. He walked to his windows covered by blinds. He opened the blinds and saw a car parked in front of Mr. Henderson’s house, his neighbor across the street. For unknown reasons his car alarm had went off. Barry noticed that the sun had set, and it was now the evening. The full moon was very bright and big. He was not sure how long he had slept, but he had slept for such a long time. Barry felt exhausted and tired. He closes the blinds and turns his head towards his mirror. Barry observes what he is indeed staring. Upon staring and out of the blue, Barry began to mentally break down. Tears began to roll down his cheeks. His face turned red and he felt like he was in pain and perhaps he was. His mind darted everywhere. He shouted, and no one seemed to hear. He screamed in anger and frus- 33 tration. He felt deeply alone. His friends that he spends a lot of time with contradict his isolation. It is weird that he feels like that. It is contradic- tory at best, but he still felt alone. No one to connect and relate with. Barry understands very well that he is not alone but understanding that did not cure his feeling of isolation. Barry is fed up with the world and more importantly he is fed up with himself. He saw no reason for himself to live. He has a fine life, but it felt meaningless to him. Nothing ever felt great for him and he stopped feeling happy a very long time ago. He looks behind him and turns off the music. The song playing was “Epitaph” from the album In the Court of the Crimson King by King Crimson. He grabbed his bedsheets and collapsed onto his floor. He cov- ered himself up with the bedsheets and cried. He shouted, and no one seemed to hear. Barry felt as if he was under the influence, but not from alcohol. There is someone in his head, but it is not him. Barry was not in control of himself. His mind was fragmented from the years of constant negative feel- ings. He could not help feeling that way, but he tried his best to understand why. Barry never found out why, so he stopped questioning it. There was no pur- pose for him to do that. It was a photo by Daniel Sparks, 12 waste of time and the one thing he despised was wasting his time. He desired to kill him- self. His inner-voice said, “Fucking kill yourself. Do it!” There were many possible ways he could end himself. The easiest way he could do it would either be with his belt or cutting his wrists with razor blades. He wanted a quick and effortless way out. Barry is a lazy person, so it makes sense for him to want to end it like that. Time and time after he tried his best to find the perfect method of ending it, but to no prevail, he never found the answer. Barry is bad about starting projects of his own and not finishing them. He did that with many things in his life. Barry had little to no mo- tivation to pursue things that would benefit him greatly. He kept schem- ing of ways to end his self-proclaimed miserable life with no issues on the surface. He shouted, but no one seemed to hear. He eventually tired himself out from thinking too intently on ways to end himself. Barry could not be bothered, he felt purely apathetic with himself and his surroundings. He stopped his childish mental breakdown and put those thoughts to momentarily rest. Not like he has a choice in how he should feel emotionally. On the spot, he decided to leave his humble abode. It was night outside and he preferred night than to day. To him, night is more peace- ful. There are less people around and not as much noise than it was day time. Barry exited his house and decided to take a walk around his neighborhood. Tweed’s outer circle was a very quiet place. Barry walked and walked. The area seemed gray to him. Everything was devoid of life. It seemed false, much like a painting. Objects had no physical depth, but the people he saw on the streets seem to believe otherwise. 34 He arrived at Harrison Park at some point. There were not many people around the park. The people that were around seemed to be joy- ful. Barry was perplexed at the sight of this. “What could they be happy about? My life is probably as good as theirs, but they are happy, and I am not.” It confused the hell out of him greatly. Barry became jealous at the sight of this. Barry became enraged at the sight of this. They know what it means to be happy and content. Barry used to know but forgot what it means. He decided to leave the park. He did not want to grab unneces- sary attention from those around him. Barry dreaded small-talk with those he does not care about. It was always an awkward situation to be in. Those conversations usually start off with a casual question, then a long pause of silence, and then both individuals just awkwardly stop talk- ing and leave each other. Some people just do not grasp that at all. Barry felt blue and did not remember the reason for going out on a walk. It made no sense. His back was hurting, and he was aching all over his body. At this point he considered going back to his house to sleep some more, however, if he did that then he had wasted him time by walking. Barry continued to walk for perhaps an answer to something or anything. He kept walking and walking. He walked a long a sidewalk until he saw a P.F. Changs across the street. Barry’s stomach growled at him and he must eat. He needs to eat to keep his energy up. He walked into P.F. Changs and was seated at a booth. He thought to himself that perhaps having one last meal would be nice before his time to leave Earth came around. At his booth, he noticed an elderly man glaring at him every so often. Barry hated it when people stared at him for no reason. He considered it impolite and rude. He felt angry, but ultimately let it go. As Barry was waiting for his food. Some time passed, and the old man kept staring at photo by Daniel Sparks, 12 him. Barry felt that he might have offended him in some way. Barry felt bad, but it was an asinine feeling because Barry knows that he has done nothing to this person. Soon after, the old man stood up. He emerged from his booth and headed towards Barry’s direction. The old man was clearly intent on talking to Barry. Sure enough, the old man decided on the opposite side from Barry.

Barry felt confused on what this man could possibly want from him, he decided to remain silent. “Son, I can tell you’re looking blue”, remarked the old man. “I’m sorry?” questioned Barry. “What do you mean?” “It is the way you look, I can tell from it.” The old man contin- ued to speak. “Life is short, and things happen so quickly. I have had my dark times and I have seen others go through their own. We each do what we must, but at the end of the day, we only have one shot at this. 35 It is easy to let things get to you and sometimes we cannot help it, but damn it! Do not throw it away so effortlessly!” The old man exclaimed. “Thank you.” Said Barry. The old man stood up and returned to his booth. Barry started to cry yet again. This time it was a momen- tarily joyous cry. He shouted, and someone finally heard him. Barry still felt lonely but understanding that others feel lonely makes him feel not as lonely. It is a strange way of perceiving it, but it made Barry feel better now. It was as if the old man knew exactly how Barry was feel- ing. Barry realized that his actions speak louder than words. Barry felt a warm feeling within himself, as if recognition of himself truly exists. Barry knows that his life has meaning, he understands that, however, the feeling always persists. After all it is not him that is making him feel bad.

Growth by Daniel Sparks, 12

Part 1 It’s not every day that I find myself opening up to my deep and personal social issues in regard to people that surround me. I find it aw- fully considerate to be around people who slightly give a shit about what happens in my life. The sad reality is that we only care for ourselves. We stand together, but divided we fall. When I was fourteen, I taught myself how to thoroughly read people based off first impressions. I’m absolutely certain that I am right. I mean after all, it takes experience to understand something truly. Every day when I come into school, I observe those around me. For example, Jack is in the corner acting like an absolute dumbass, while Mrs. Pérez tries to teach an unorganized pre-algebra class. Mrs. Pérez is this morbidly obese woman in her late forties. She looks as if she has seen better days. Her hair is gray, despite not being at the proper age to start receiving gray hair. This probably indicates that she works quite a bit. She does smell a bit off, like some mangy cat lady who has not bathed in weeks. Disgusting. However, I sit every day in the back of this vile-colorful room behind Jack while he viciously harasses this kid as if he killed his hedgehog or something. Jack slaps the lights out of Brad and poor Brad must endure it because of the teacher’s incompetence to manage an 8th grade classroom. Hell, it’s practically babysitting, but instead of nice and responsible children, you have weird asses acting like anarchists as if nuclear bombs are going to drop any second now. A couple minutes pass and Jack still is messing with Brad. At this point, the funniest thing happens. Brad squeals like an overgrown mutant hamster and decides to do the right thing. He slams his small hands onto his worn-out desk and stands up. He takes this deep breath and performs 36 this silly stance in front of Jack. Jack is obviously confused. Wa-POW! Jack fell out of his desk as his desk tipped over on top of him. The arm rest fell on his crotch. Jack drop kicked him in the jaw. I swear, I heard some cracks. I hope Brad is okay. I mean, his manhood was practically destroyed then and there. Mrs. Pérez yells from the front of the class, “Brad!” Her voice unsurprisingly boomed from a distance. “GET OUT OF THE CLASS! NOW!” Brad sunders from the crime scene while every kid laughs at what had just took place. He visibly looks upset. I would too if I were to get in trouble for self-defense. Mrs. Pérez stomps after him and both exit the class. The room goes silent as we all hear what may be yelling. No doubt it is from Mrs. Pérez. While she yells at Brad, I hear murmurs coming from the kids sitting near me. The snickering grows louder as time passes. This is what pisses me off about indulging myself with those who obviously are not mentally capable of holding a certain level of maturity. Why is it like that for kids? Is it their parents, their personality flaws, or something I am missing? These little shit-stains, who I happen to share the same age, will grow up to be no better than their surround- ings, the people they idolize, and those who they love. It is a sad cycle of life and death. I hold a controversial opinion that not many people see eye to eye with. I honestly feel that people do not change in anyway. Sure, we mature and we grow and we change due to age, but I do not mean that. There are character traits that stick with us for as long as we live. I have seen it as I have observed those around me. We have our faults that we try to put into the ground, but those faults come back to get us. It is as if we are bound by them. As it is said, history repeats itself. After witnessing this altercation that had just occurred, it threw me into a bad mood. I had an existential crisis that provoked some thought, little did I know that when I eventually look back at myself at this age that I will recoil in disgust on how wrong I was. I felt as if I knew everything. I felt as if no one understood how I felt. I was alone and that I had no one to turn to, so I spoke to myself very often. I isolated myself a lot and it soon transformed my personality and characteristics. At this age, I isolated myself due to the fact that my father was never home and my brother was just heading off into college. I am not sure if this changed me for the worse or for the better. I definitely matured more than my peers at school. The fiasco with Jack and Brad also made me understand more of my classmates a bit more. During recess, we went to my school’s cold desolate playground that has seen better days. From there, I observe how others treat each other. It brought a tear into my eye. We, as a collective group of humans, are no better than animals. We shove, punch, bite, and claw our way through obstacles and people just to get what we desire. I see second graders pushing each other into the wood-chip ground just to take things because we desire. Why?

Part 2

At the ripe age of seventeen, I went through a growth of the likes that I have not experienced before. Not just physically, but more impor- 37 tantly mentally. I realized how much of a smart ass I was back in eighth grade. I was young and stupid. Still stupid, but not as much as before. What do I know? I am not even out on my own as an independent adult. One aspect of myself that proved to be detrimental was my lack of empa- thy for those who I surrounded myself in. I focused on myself more than I should. By doing this I created a wall between the outside world and me. The defining moment that changed it all was when my mother passed. My mother who had been battling cancer, for what seems like an eternity, passed away. It was a sad moment in my life. She was the driving force of my family. She in her mid-fifties. Why did she have to be taken away from us? Why god, why? Her vibrant and eccentric humor brought a light into our tiny household that got us through the toughest times. She was our light in the dark and our life-line. She loved us and made us better individuals. She made me happy and I feel like absolute shit because of I isolated myself from her. I missed so many fucking opportunities to feel human and show love to someone dear to me. I screwed up and paid the price for my self- ishness. Her death gave me a beautiful, yet a depressing metaphorical view of life in its self. Life is like an autonomous claw machine. Purely ran- dom, yet the chance to strike is not always guaranteed. That insight made me understand how valuable our lives are. We do not realize what we have until it is gone. Knowing this, I made a prom- ise to her. I decided it would be best to live life to the fullest. It is what she did and what she would have wanted me to do. I understand that I cannot live life to its fullest by acting as a dull husk sitting in a gray world. No one can live like that. Life has no meaning if you do not create the mean- ing yourself. I detested myself for letting myself get to a state of apathy beyond my control. I still felt alone after she died. I hated god for making me feel alone for all these years. It was weird to me, trying to jump out of my comfort zone to show empathy to those who I gave less of a shit about, but I had to try something. My first step into maturing was placing myself out there more so I can open myself up and fully blossom. Doing this at school was one of the pivotal moments of my life. One great example is in my electronics class; I would often not engage in any group activities as well. Instead of just being a bystander, I threw myself out of the comfort zone. Dan and Paul, my groupmates seemed nice enough to work with me, despite not contributing much at all. At the time, I felt equal among everyone in the room, especially with Mr. James, our electronics teacher. I looked up to him due to his intellect and it greatly inspired me to pursue knowledge higher than that of which I had possessed at the time. One of my biggest issues with people is how divided we are. Why? We forget that we are all different. Quite frankly, it is very disgusting to eat at each other for our preferences that do not affect one another. I just can never get behind the idea of berating those who have virtually done nothing to harm us. It is a bit screwed up if you ask me. By screwed up, I mean that something is not right mentally. Is it mentally or is it some- thing other than that? Is it our upbringing that influences us? Speaking of upbringings, this douchebag named Richard in my economics class likes to poke fun at the fact that I am scrawny. “Dude, you are literally anorexic. Eat a burger or somethin’!”. No shit, captain 38 obvious. People like Dick bother me. Imagine having such a short atten- tion span that it makes you oblivious to logic. Why would I not know that I am “anorexic”? Anyway, being seventeen is the halfway point of being a teenager and an “adult”. I look back and realize how volatile I sounded. I definitely had matured since I turned fourteen. However, I was still a bit immature. I lacked the experience to personally reflect and grow. I was getting there though.

Part 3 I had an existential crisis upon reaching the age of eighteen. I felt misguided as every person this age feels. All of us are just thrown into this pit and just expected to live as if we have everything figured out. I had it figured out, for me at least. At this point, I started to feel “human” again. I look at those who are around me and I see people who have gone through their fair share of struggles. I admit, I am not unique in anyway. I am hu- man as much as the other person. I am not a robot. I bleed, I feel, I know. I am not an animal. We are not animals. I apologize for ranting this much about my personal problems and a brief retelling of my life story. I am David and I only know how to act like David. Like it has been said before. It is strange opening up to strang- ers. However, it feels like it helps me grow in ways that I have not seen before.

39 Conspiracy by Joey Migliazzo The convoy was arriving at the required destination. It was a sunny day outside. The first Lady was in the middle of the five armored cars pulling up to the senate building. The major senate building was located in Washington D.C. In her car was her personal bodyguard and her as- signed driver. “James, pull up slowly, I want to wave to everyone once we arrive” said the First Lady. The walkway to the senate building was covered with the press and local police. The event was to discuss the possibility of sending more U.S troops into China to keep the peace, as tensions between the U.S. and Russia were building. There was a large amount of disagreement on the decision because that was putting more troops lives in danger. The Russians do not agree with having American troops on their border with China. They have attack multiple American outposts which have injured some soldiers but still there hasn’t been any fatalities. Attending the meeting from the Russian side was assistant General Resnov. He was overseeing all of the Russian military at this time. There was a growing suspicion about Resnov but there was never any evidence to prove him of anything. He is just one of those hard Russian guys who acts tough. The meeting was also to discuss the capture of a Russian spy on American soil. Tensions were building and the possibility of a war has come up a few times. There was a huge protest forming outside the senate build- ing. As soon as the First Lady opened her car door, gunshots started crackling onto her door. Immediately she sprung back into her vehicle for safety. Shots were bouncing all over the car. It was a sitting duck in the street. The driver tried to start the car to join the fleeing convoy but the engine block was torn to pieces by the gunfire. The convoy realized that the first lady wasn’t with them so they stopped at the top of the street which left a gap of street space between them and the first lady’s car. The gunfire continued to rain down on her car. The bodyguard told her to stay down by the seat so she wouldn’t get hit. The crowd quickly ran away in fear that they would get hit. James quickly radioed in, “Someone take this asshole out!”. The rest of the convoy started to exchange gunfire with the attacker but they couldn’t get a good read on his position so they were just shoot- ing at the top of the building. The body guard opened the door facing away from the shooter and got behind the cover of the car to try and get some shots off at the attacker. He couldn’t get a good look because the sniper had the jump on him. He turned back to shout, “James, Can you get me a location?” A bullet had slipped through the window and struck James before he could answer. “Shit!” The bodyguard screamed. He broke off the mirror attached to the door to angle it and get a read on where he was positioned. “Found ya”. He the leaned towards the front of the car and aimed his weapon for a clear shot while the sniper was still firing onto the windows. “Crack!”. In the matter of a second the shooting had stopped. The local police quickly 40 rushed the building to surround the shooter. They didn’t know if he was still alive or dead so they still had to be careful. When they finally reached the roof they saw a man dressed in an expensive black suit bleed- ing from a gunshot wound in the shoulder. They quickly made the arrest and rushed to get him downtown for a interrogation. The event at the senate building was finally taking place. People from all over gathered outside the newly appointed courthouse to pay their respects. The country was still mourning after the resent event that occurred outside of the senate building. The shooter was identified as a Russian hitman who disagreed with the movement to send more U.S troops into China. He was taken into custody for his crimes and sentenced to the death penalty by Washington State capital law. The Senate decided to continue their movement to send more troops to China because of the recent events that occurred. There was a huge funeral that was set to happen right after the Senates’ decisions. People from all over were invited to attend and the president of the United States was going to be speaking there also. Drastic measures were going to be taken to make sure nothing like this happens again and that there is tighter secu- rity for major events like this. The CIA was able to get some pretty good information from our Russian attacker. He flew into America under a fake passport and he was supposed fly out again the next day. He spilled all of his information. His objective was to murder the first lady so that the president would not send troops into China. The CIA was able to get the attacker to give up his commanding officer who assigned him with this assignment. He told them that his commander goes by the name of Resnov. Realizing what this means, The CIA and the feds rushed to stop the meeting at the senate building. It was being broadcasted live for all of the world to see. Right before Resnov got up to make his statement, the CIA along with the feds stormed in and placed him under arrest for conspiracy to commit murder. “This is ridicules, Do you even know who your talking to?” Resnov said. They took him out of the room and sent him down to the city. Imme- diately the Russians video called in to have someone replace him. They denied ever knowing about what Resnov was up to. Things were eventu- ally figured out for peace with China, Russia, And the U.S. The First Lady made an announcement after everything was agreed upon. “These events only bring us together and makes us stronger as a coun- try and as a people” she started off with.

photo by Nick Einig, 12 41 The Hunting Experience by Joey Migliazzo, 12

I woke up to a loud alarm blaring in my room. I looked over at my clock it was 4:30am A feeling of excitement rushed through my body as I sprung out of my bed. Today is my first time that I’m going to be hunt- ing with my dad. My first objective was to make sure that dad is awake. I burst out of my room and I was on my way to my parent’s room to find that my dad was already up and about in the kitchen. He had eggs on the pan with a side of sizzling bacon. “Bodi, your thirty minutes late.” He said jokingly. I laughed and sat at the counter. “You ready for today? There are going to be a lot of opportunities for you.” Said dad. “Of course I am” I said proudly. I quickly took down my eggs and bacon and darted back to my room to get dressed in my hunting gear. Dad was already outside in the car waiting for me once I finished. I grabbed my bag and went outside to the car. I tossed my bag in the bed of the truck and I noticed the two rifle bags laying across the back. This made me even more excited for today. I hopped in the passenger seat and then we were off. I turned around to see mom waving at me from the front door. I smiled and waved back to her. She wasn’t really excited about the idea of me hunting so I felt a little bad but I quickly forgot about it. We were going to our family farm out near Colombia, MO. The woods out there are always crawling with deer. My plan was to stay awake on the drive down but I dozed off before I could even remember. When I awoke, we were pulling in to a gas station to meet up with my dad’s friends. There were two other trucks full of hunting gear and I noticed the orange hats and camo coats right away. They all went in to grab coffee and within a few minutes we were back on the highway with my dad leading the group. After about an hour had passed, we pulled up the family farm and started down the long,dirt road to get to the cabin. We all go out and stretched and it was a sunny morning and began to unpack the truck and get the 4 wheelers ready to go. I got on the red one and had our geat tied up to the back and headed out to my dad’s deer stand. It was cold but I was full of excitement and the nature around me was very peaceful. Up the ladder I climbed and began to make my surroundings as comfortable as I can. My dad and his friends were helping one another with unloading all of the gear and making a fire around the cabin. I pulled up my blanket, sat in my chair, put in ear buds to listen to my favorite music and was ready for a herd to show up any time. My gun was loaded and right beside me. I tried not to make a move and as I managed to stay still, I fell asleep. I awoke to my dad touching my shoulder to wake up to grab lunch. It must have been at least 2 hours and I missed any deer activity around me because I nodded off. I climbed down and met the guys and ate lunch. They roasted hot dogs and we had baked beans and chips. I decided to join my dad and ride around the land with our 4 wheelers and enjoy the nature all around us. We rode to our lake and decided to skip rocks on it like old times. It reminded me of the time we brought our 42 chocolate lab, Rojo, to the cabin with us and he jumped in the lake for the first time. He went under and never came up. My dad had to jump in to get him to the surface. He had never been in water. He knew at that moment how to swim when he came to the dock. He jumped back in and started swimming. I believe it was instinct as he is a retriever and we threw sticks photo by Nick Einig, 12 for him to catch in the water the whole afternoon after that initial jump. Rojo has since passed but his memory still remains with me and my family. After we toured the property for a few hours. We got off of the 4 wheelers and walked around together in the woods. We talked about the memories we shared and what the future may look like when I go away to college. “Will you come back home after you finish college? “ dad asked. “I don’t know.” I said. “Do you want me to stay in Colorado or come back home?” I asked. There was a long silence. I know I’m his only child and even though my dad is a man of very few words, I knew what he was thinking without him even saying it. We walked for awhile without further conversation. I finally said, “I’ll race you back to the cabin!” We both jumped on the 4 wheelers and took off. I decided to take a short cut through the woods that I remembered when I was kid. I must have made a wrong turn because I got lost and was pretty deep into the woods. It was starting to get dark as it was late November and after 4:30pm, the sun starts to set. I realized I left my phone at the cabin and couldn’t call my dad. I tried not to panic and decided to shout for anyone to hear me. “Dad… Stevie… Bob..anyone?” I yelled. “Can anyone hear me?” It was silent. The only noise I heard was the rustle of the leaves with every step I took walking around my 4 wheeler. I stood still and within a few seconds I looked to my left and 6 deer and 1 buck were within a few feet away from me. I froze. I thought to myself, how could I ever shoot these animals. It was like they knew I was lost and was worried. Their eyes were black as coal. The buck was big and mighty and I can see the breath from his nostrils in the air. They slowly moved closer to me. I reached in pocket and realized and had a bag of chips from lunch left over. I pulled it out and put some in my hand and reached it out to them and said, “Here you go. Take it. They are good and they are good for you.” My mom only packs all organic snacks so I felt OK offering something that I knew wouldn’t hurt them. I couldn’t believe it. They all started coming twords me and eating from my hands. It was a moment I’ll never forget. The chips were gone quickly and they all turned away and began to walk fast. I felt like they were wanting me to follow them so I did. I drove the 4 wheeler slow and gave them a lot of room in front of me so I 43 woudn’t scare them. I was driving for about 15 minutes or so and saw a light through the woods. It was the fire outside of our family’s cabin and I was so thankful. When I pulled up to the house, my dad was out looking for me. I called his phone and told him to come back to the cabin and couldn’t wait to tell him the story. That night, we all sat around the fire and grilled steaks and ate well and I told the story of what happened to me earlier in the evening. They joked with me a lot but my dad thought it was cool. We ended the night watching old 80s movies that I’m sure my dad has seen a million times. Die Hard, Point Break, Karate Kid to name a few were the ones on the list. I rolled my eyes and pulled out my computer and watched lacrosse videos on youtube the majority of the night. I went to bed because we were going to have an early start again the next day. “Rise and shine!” screamed my dad. I smelled bacon and coffee brewing from the kitchen. It was cold and pulled the covers on my head. I was ready to go home but we had another day ahead. I was there to mainly make my dad happy. This is his favorite time of year as he loves to hunt with his friends. I think he loves the nature part the best and has a hard time shooting deer because he loves animals. My dad came in my room again and said, “Joey, get up. We are going to sit in the stands for awhile before the sun comes up and then practice bow hunting with the targets.” I forced myself to get up and walked in the kitchen and chugged a cup of black coffee that tasted terrible so I can get enough caffeine in me to wake up. I ate some toast and bacon and put on my hunting bibs, coat, boats, hat and gloves and off we went on the 4 wheelers. We had flashlights so we could see around the stands after we made it up the tree. There was frost everywhere and my chair felt frozen. I brought a blanket from the cabin and had my gun and I set up my spot and was ready to go again. This time, I was wide awake. About 30 minutes later, I couldn’t believe what I saw. It had to be the same herd that I encoun- tered in the woods the previous day. There was a large buck and 5 other deer all together near my stand. They were only 20 or so feet away from me. They looked up and saw me as the sun was beginning to rise. I grabbed for the gun, got in position to aim and as they were all staring at me I froze. I couldn’t do it. I realized I have a soft spot for animals. I have two dogs and the deer were such gentle animals and there was no way I was going to kill any one of them. I smiled and yelled, “Go! Run away!” They were still staring at me and I believe they knew what I was say- ing, I motioned them to run away and to go the opposite direction of the other stands where my dad and his friends were. Within a few minutes, they took off in the direction I was hoping they would go and I sat down very relieved. I watched a movie on my iphone and sent my dad a text ask- ing when we could grab lunch. He sent a text back and said he would be ready to go in about 20 minutes. Steve had shot a deer and I began to worry thinking that he shot one of the herd that helped me yesterday and visited me today. I grabbed my blanket and made my way down the ladder and jumped off mid way and jumped on my 4 wheeler to the stands ahead. My dad and his friends were all around a dead deer and I couldn’t bring myself to see them around it taking pictures. I yelled, “I’ll meet you at the cabin. I have to use the bathroom.” That was my way 44 out and took off to head back. “Let’s go!” I heard from outside. I walked out of the house and the truck were warming up and the deer was in one of the beds and I jumped in my dad’s truck to head to shop where they clean and cut up the deer. I pretended to be on the phone when they pulled up to off load the deer. I didn’t want to help. We then left and was headed to our favorite diner for burgers and deer chili. This was something we did every time every year and we never went home without eating at Lenny’s Diner. The waitress knew me right away and said, “Well if it isn’t little Joey. My have you grown! I’m going to call you Big Joe from now on. Same thing honey that you always get or should I make it a double?” “Yes ma’am.” I said and smiled. We ate so much that afternoon and I was so full but I couldn’t leave without a piece of their famous apple pie. My dad paid the bill and we went back to the cabin to nap. Dad and his friends went back out to the stands when the sun was beginning to set and I stayed back at the cabin and watched some old 80s movies. Point Break was my favorite and I watched the newer version right after the old one. When they came back, we grilled more hot dogs for dinner and called it a night. We left early the next morning and when I got home, I took a hot shower and crashed. My mom asked me, “how did it go, Did you get a deer?” I smiled and gave her a hug.

photo by Giuseppe Migliazzo, 12 45 The Great Lie, or Get the Hell Out by Alex Spalding, 12 In most senses of the word, I was killing it. Not literally, of course, but I was doing really well. People would be jealous of my success now if I didn’t have my fall from grace. Ok, “fall from grace” is a bit dramatic. Honestly, looking back on this event and how I reacted makes me embarrassed. I can still remember the words on that note. But let’s not get melodramatic and actually start telling the story. Hold on, actually, before I get to that, let me set the stage. My name is Lucas, and I’m the coolest kid on the block. That’s a lie, sorry, force of habit. I’m a tall kid with a little bit of muscle and a lack of patience. Another thing I do really well: I read my audience. I know what people want to hear, and I definitely know that you guys don’t want to hear me ramble on about my hyperactive charm and charisma. That’s also a lie, I don’t have those. Anyway, back to my mom and her destruc- tion of my life. Wait, wait, wait, I forgot to mention something: all of this hap- pened in the past. I was merely a high school student with big dreams and the inability to speak honestly. I’m now at the ripe old age of 20, and let’s just say, things haven’t gotten much better. I’ll get back into that at the end of the story, but right now I actually have to tell you that story, so let’s get back into it. “I got an email today that hurt my heart. Son, what did you do? Please tell me you didn’t do what it said. Please.” My mom is an hon- est soul, never wanting anything more than to birth and raise a group of good Christian children. I had already failed on the Christian part, so I knew she already had some disappointment. This moment, however, was different. Her usually bright and cheery blue eyes were dulled with confusion and concern. Her common pose of high shoulders and a straight back was sullied by a position of fear, like she’d go fight-or-flight in any moment. I knew that this meant trouble. “Of course it was a mistake, mom. I didn’t do anything they sent, I’m sure. I’ll go talk to the administration tomorrow, make sure everything’s okay. Don’t worry about it.” That was the first of many mis- takes I made in trying to get out of trouble. I lied. Some might call me a compulsive liar, but nothing gets me out of trouble faster than making up a little story. Now, look: I don’t stack lies on lies. I’m not forming a fake persona that will all crash down on me when I need it most. No, I just tell little lies: I have a job at Walmart, my friends call me a midget despite me being 6’3”, I don’t like tacos, things like that. I just want to stay out of trouble as much as possible. It’s a bad habit, I know. Her response broke it all down, however. “You tell me that every time, Lucas. All I ever hear is how every- thing’s fine. I don’t know how much I believe that now. Your father and I are going to talk to the administration tomorrow to make sure everything is ok.” 46 That had thrown a little wrench in my plan. What lie could I make if the authoritarian government of the school system will be my judge and jury? What were my options? I can’t fabricate other people, at least not easily enough. The way I see it I had a few possible plans: I could just accept the punishment for my actions, which is obviously the worst option known to mankind. I could also try to lie and get my parents to cancel the meeting, but I don’t feel like I could realistically do that without raising more questions. No, those wouldn’t work. My only option was to the one thing I have never done before and the thing I literally said I don’t do two paragraphs back: I had to create an elaborate and drawn out lie that can convince all listening, including the school administration, to trust me and believe in my words. It was a long shot, and I knew that. Now that I started the story, let’s go back and actually tell you what I did to get into that situation. Honestly, the reason I got in trouble is nothing unique to this school. Cheating on projects and tests are this school’s specialty. It’s very hard to not cheat, thanks to how difficult some of my classes are. “But then why or how did you get in trouble, then?” you might be asking that question now, and I will get to that, I promise. It mostly comes down to poor planning and a failure to choose the proper accom- plices. First off, you should know some stuff about my school. I live in a great city called Memphis, in the vibrant and glorious state ofTen- nessee. In case you can’t tell, I’m not a big fan. It’s nothing against the city. It just that we had moved here from St. Louis, and in that move I had lost most of my friends. Let’s just say, I wasn’t happy about that. Anyway, my school, Robert E. Lee High (that name is another reason I wasn’t a big fan of being here) suffers from a problem every person not born into wealth knows: not having enough money. You’d think a public school would get enough money from the government to be high quality, but apparently the government just doesn’t really care about this school. There are constant repairs that were started and that stopped, only to continue when the school has money for it. The computers were older that my parents, which wasn’t a huge deal for me, but doesn’t look good. The verdant green walls mesh really well with the vomit-colored floors and carpets. But let’s look at the bright side: I was actually at a school. No wait, still a negative. Ok, I’ll level. There was nothing good there. Ever. Since I’ve left it, I have no idea what’s happened to it and if it still “teaches” students or not. I’ll probably never find out, though. Well, that was a little bit of a lie. Some of my teachers are actu- ally pretty cool. I mean, none of them are Gary Gygax cool, but some of them are ok. I could go in depth on why the cool teachers are cool, and I could even describe the exact clothing and voices of them, but instead, I’ll skip right along and tell you that the worst teacher is my math teacher. Hands down. Now, you should know (and this isn’t a lie) that my math class is BS. No, really. It’s trash. Why? Because the math teacher Mr. Soyuz is quite possibly the worst teacher this side of the Milky Way galaxy. Even Larry, the kid we all know as the smartest person in our school, struggles in his class. I remember this one time where he was asking Mr. Soyuz to help him with his math homework. Behind his freckled face and wide- framed glasses came the voice of a threatened small animal: “M-m-m-Mr. Soyuz, I-I need some help with this worksheet. 47 The calculus questions are r-r-really difficult.” As he said that, the earth shook. The living mountain of the man us mere mortals refer to as Mr. Soyuz turned his attention to the quivering morsel. His face is concealed by long hair and a beard Gandalf would envy, and his striped green and black shirt shifted with the huge amount of flesh inside it. Out of his lips came the accursed sound of him clearing his throat, a noise that, when heard walking down the hallway, means death (or at least, it means he’s about to talk to you, which is just as bad). Then came the infernal words; words that, if I heard, would cause me to die of a heart attack right on the spot. “Sure, what can I help you with?” Okay, so maybe I exaggerated a little bit. Larry wasn’t THAT afraid, and other than being a little pudgy, Mr. Soyuz is pretty normal. I still never want to hear him try and help me. I never need help. Even if I needed to get help, I’d only take it from a strong and smart person, not a softie like Soyuz. Besides, my point still stands. If Larry the “glasses of infinite knowledge” needs help, that means the class is too hard or too unfair. I rest my case. Man, I really keep getting off track. Ok, so, math class. It’s awful. The reason it’s so bad is because I usually have to put in minimal effort to get a great grade. With Soyuz, though, I actually have to try. I know, it’s gross, and I refuse to do that. Now it’s time to get back into the actual story itself. Finally, progress! Anyway, I refuse to work. So one day, while my parents were out do- ing satanic rituals or knitting or something along those lines, I called in sick, saying I had a horrible case of mesothelioma-based carpel tunnel syndrome. I saw those names on some commercials, and the people were smiling and holding money and medicine, so I assumed that those were health issues that were mildly reasonable. Luckily, the receptionist didn’t really care all that much, and just signed me off for being sick. Now that I was free, it was time to start making math class a little bit easier. You see, I had a test that day. Tests usually result in a fail, so I need- ed a work-around. I had an informant (or a friend if you’re a normal per- son) named Daryl. Daryl is easily one of the smartest people I know, and has never struggled to mentally overpower every other human being in the room. He does have one problem, though: he might as well be mute. He never speaks, and when he does, he speaks in a way not far off from ancient English, like he’s Shakespeare or something. Here is a conversa- tion I had with him, when I was asking him for homework information: Me: Hey, Daryl, can I have some help? Daryl: Harken to me, my friend. Allow for me to educate you on these topics. See what I mean? He’s just bizarre. Other than that, not much else is very noteworthy. He can regularly be seen in a shade of grey pants and a shirt with colors that range from dark green to slightly less dark green. He wears glasses all the time, and has those professor glasses, you know the ones. The circular wireframe glasses that even make other teachers bored. He is three steps away from being a 70-year-old history professor at a college in Athens. Anyway, while he is a great student, he also has joined me in a great conspiracy to help each other throughout the school year. Unlike him, I struggle in most school topics, especially ones with a lean towards the mathematical. As such, I used him as a resource, and he has always 48 been for it. On that particular math test, since I wasn’t at the school, he planned to write down all the answers and give them to me to study for the day I actually take the test. It is there that the good new ends, unfortunately. Turns out Soyuz has either some sort of psychic knowledge of all students with malevolent intent, or he just looked at Daryl being very not stealthy in his methods. They are both equally likely. No matter the way, Daryl was caught. Found out. Wonderful. A flaw of Daryl is that he is the opposite of me. While falsifica- tion is my greatest ability, he refuses to even try and tell something even remotely untrue. As such, the school quickly found out that it was me who asked for some less than honestly obtained answers. And that brings us to where we started. In my home, with my mother being way too emotional, and me planning to lie myself out of trouble. So now, without further ado, let me describe to you the largest failure I ever had, and the failure that led me to where I am now. Spoiler alert: I’m not in a good place. The drive to the administrative meeting was far too short. Most people would dread that ride, but all I could think was: “I need more time! My plan is ready, it’s coming together, but it’s still not ready. My story is not complete yet!” Of course, I was not going to vocalize any of that. My mother would’ve kill me if she knew that I was planning to create a story. Well, maybe she wouldn’t have killed me, but she probably would have start crying, which would have hurt me more than anything else. Thanks to having something to do, however, the ride just flew by. But I began questioning myself. should I do this? What will hap- pen if I’m caught? Is what I am about to do right? Am I really going to be so stupid as to try this? Will I really ruin my life by trying this little stunt that will certainly lead to the trash I have become? Sorry, those last few were more a hindsight thing. I didn’t think that at the time. We entered the school and then the main office. Sitting at the beautiful oak desk were the mountain himself (Mr. Soyuz) and the principal Mr. Brando. Brando is a, uh… well, he has a great personality. He never got married, which, may I say with a little bit of guilt, makes sense. His face is truly horrifying. The rumor around town is that he used to be part of some sort of club you’re not supposed to talk about (get it?), and as such has a bunch of scars and wounds from it. Symmetry literally just can’t be found in his face. I still wonder which eye I should look at while I’m talk- ing to him. Other that, he’s pretty normal. I have always liked Brando. I mean, I hate looking at him, but he is really nice and is always willing to talk to me. I remember feeling a little bad that I was going to pull my greatest lie from the shadows of my mind and lay it down on him. He didn’t deserve my lies, but my hand had been forced. If it was just him, I would have probably told the truth, but the presence of a certain person who called himself Soyuz only reminded me of why the lie was necessary. From this point on, I’m simply going to write what was said. It’s not the most exciting, unfortunately, but it’s important. It all started with Mr. Brando. “Hello, Lucas. You know the reason for our meeting today. According to another student, you were trying to cheat on a test by pretending to be sick and having him write down the answers. Is this true?” after that, Mr. Soyuz interjected this: 49 “If it’s true, and I’m not saying it is, then why would you cheat if you could have come and asked me for help at any time? I made it very clear that I want my students to succeed.” Oh, you know very well why I did it Soyuz. You voice is the thing I hate the most. I’d rather die than have to talk to you for more than five min- utes. I remember thinking something along those lines during the meet- ing. I was very angry, apparently. To be honest, most of that meeting is a blur for me past that. They kept talking and talking while I prepared myself for the great lie. I should write a book about it. I’d call it The Great Lie or something. That’d be fun. Maybe I could make some money off that, maybe finally afford an apartment or something. Three meals would be nice too. Sorry, getting off track. Let me return. After Brando and Soyuz had their little diatribe about my actions, I was ready. I inhaled the breath of the gods, asking for some divine aid to convince them of my innocence. Then, the words came out. That’s the wish. But as I learned and you know, wishes rarely ever come true. I panicked. The weight hit me. I ruined it. Instead of what I planned for, I just muttered some words. Words like these: “I didn’t do that. I would never do such a thing.” Even I wasn’t convinced it would change anything. I ruined it, just like I ruin everything else I touch. But let’s leave the story for a second. God, why was I such of a stupid kid? I always talked about my lying skills, but even I have to acknowledge that just simply isn’t true. I’m an idiot. I have no skill with lying. It never even works. Nothing I’ve ever made up has really convinced people. “But what about when you called the school, saying you were sick?” Remember that part of the story? Here’s the problem with that. I lied to you, reader. I’m so insecure, I even lied in my own autobiography. How great am I? Unlike the story I told you, I actually was sick. I had a bad cough. My parents were the ones who called in and said I was sick. I was just going to skip school and do the whole math test cheat thing, but my actual sickness gave me a more convenient option. But you don’t even believe that, do you? Now I’ve possibly lost the trust and interest of the only person who would possibly believe me anymore. That would be you, the reader. You had no reason to think I was lying, but now you probably don’t trust I single word I write. You know what? I don’t care anymore. Writing this story just made me realize this. I simply can’t care. Is the whole story fake? Did literally none of this happen? Or did all of it happen? (Except that phone call part, that was completely fake.) At this point I don’t even know and I really don’t care anymore. I’m tired of this. I was always making jokes and being “the cool kid” or whatever my entire life. I probably sounded like a dick the whole time, although you might now think I was lying through all of that. Whatever at this point. But I’m sick of being a joke. I’m tired of trying to laugh my way through life. For once, once, in my life, I can finally be honest. Here is the one time where honesty is best, and I almost ruined it by being unfunny and lying. So now I’m ready. What I’m about to tell you isn’t a lie. It’s not a story. It’s not a joke. It’s a life ruined by a fanatical obses- sion with looking cool and making everybody like me. So I tell my stupid lie, right? Everyone knew it was a lie. The rest of the meeting happened. I got kicked out the school for repeated cheating attempts and lying to school administration. No other school would take me thanks to my stupidity, so I essentially got locked out of ever hav- 50 ing a well-paying job. I was forced into some minimum wage job by my mother, but that’s not the part that hurt the most. I already told you before that my mother’s tears pain me more than anything else. Here is where it stands true the most. She cried most of the day when I found out I was expelled. But it wasn’t just the tears. It was the words. “If your father was still here, what would he think, Lucas? You’ve failed me. You’ve failed his memory. And I thought I raised you right. Clearly, in some sense, I’m a failure, too.” I can’t fault my mother for thinking that way. I am a failure. I failed her. That’s not even a question at this point. But even then, even now, I don’t deserve what she did to me. I come home from searching for a job (unsuccessfully, I might add) to find a suitcase in the main hall. It’s mine, packed up for me, with a bunch of clothes stuffed in it. It had a note on it. It had four words on top, five words in the middle. Four words that put me where I am now, on the street, with nothing to my name but a suitcase with old and overused clothes. Always looking for jobs, always poor, always hungry. Those four words conscripted me to my fate. Don’t forget the five-word phrase, though. The middle five broke me down, destroyed my will, and remind me forever of who I can never be. The worst part? They came from my mother. They don’t sound like her words, she would never speak like that, but I know the handwriting. It came from her. Here’s what the note said. “Get the hell out. You’re no son of mine.”

photo by Alex Spalding, 12

51 Fantasy, or Don’t You Dare Leave by Alex Spalding, 12 This is it. The final stand. Xeres the formidable, an unholy knight whom fights only for the great king Cirice, stands between him and the gate to that accursed lich king. Halen, the holy paladin, heaves his spear which was blessed by the great pope, upon his shoulder. He then points to Xeres and shouts “Lucian is a king of lies, honorable knight! Do not align your- self with such a foul creature!” Xeres only responds in this manner.

“Matt! Time to eat dinner! Get down here or I’m giving it to the dog.” His uncle’s bark from downstairs joltes him into action. Matt quickly saves his work, turns off his computer, and runs downstairs. It’s hard for him to find the time to work on his writing project when things like hunger and school get in his way. He brushes his unkempt blond hair out of his hazel eyes. He usually skips eating meals, which has done him no favors for his physical form. Skinny to the point of bone protrusion and as pale as fresh snow, Matthew Tarquin (who goes by Matt) begins to shamble to his door, looking at the sparse cube he calls his room. Calling his room a prison would vastly understate how caged one feels while in it. It’s more akin to a cardboard box with a door and no lid. A small bed sits in the corner, covered in dust. Matt rarely even uses the bed due to just sleeping on the desk chair. Actually, sleeping isn’t completely accurate. Matt hates sleeping, so he usually just passes out from exhaustion in front of his computer. Unlike the bed, which is in great condition other than the dust, the chair is heavily used, with the arms on each side literally only still staying attached thanks to duct tape. His uncle refuses to buy a new chair, so Matt continues to add tape and whatever else keeps it standing so he still has a chair to use. As such, little chair is actually left, and it’s more of a pile of plastic chips and a cushion on top. The computer keyboard is also in a bad condition, with some keys having fallen out and been replaced with something else, like molded wax. The computer is pretty old, but Matt only ever writes on it, so he doesn’t need the newest hardware. Finally leaving his room, Matt walks down the small hallway to the stairs. Unlike his room, the hallway is painted a crème color and is adorned with an almost gaudy amount of paintings and family photos. Funny enough, Matt is never in any of those pictures. Maybe it’s be- cause he’s only the child of his uncle’s sister, who died along with Matt’s father around six or seven years ago in a car accident. Matt wasn’t very sad about it. They never treated him well anyway. If he had known how Uncle Lucas would treat him in the following years, however, he might have preferred an orphanage. It’s important to understand that Matt doesn’t feel emotions like other people. Some would call it sociopathy, due to a lack of empathy and a distaste for social interaction. He just likes to call it apathy. Noth- 52 Photo by John Lankford, 12 ing interests him if it has other people involved. He struggles to feel em- pathy, and only consistently expresses sadness or anger. The only thing that really does interest him is writing his story. His fantasy story is the thing he lives for. It seems to be more of an issue of not caring about other people less than an incapability of doing so. There is one person he holds close to his heart, however, and it’s a person he has never met. His favorite author is a man by the name of Carl Marsken. Mar- sken is a tall and imposing figure, who weighs over 300 pounds and is all muscle. He’s famous for his fantasy story “The Void within Space” which tells the story of a modern day man who has to deal with an ancient evil. It’s fantasy, sure, but it takes place in 2015 and involves modern tech- nology, such as cell phones and power tools. The real draw, however, is the revelation at the end that magic doesn’t exist, and that it was all an allegory for humanity’s fear of nothing after death. Matt loves that story, but he still wishes it was in a fantasy world instead of the real one. As such, he started writing his own story, but set completely in a fantasy world, drawing heavily from writers such as Tolkien and Lovecraft. All he wants to do is write, but unfortunately his adopted family gets in his way. After sufficiently wasting time by walking slowly, Matt got down to the family table with his aunt, uncle, and cousin. Cousin Barry is a fat and lazy slob, at least in Matt’s eyes. All he ever does is eat, and when he’s not eating, he’s complaining about how much homework he has. Despite this, Barry has a good heart, and has always been one of the first 53 to support Matt. When Matt first told him that he planned to write a fantasy story, Barry responded like this: “Whoa, Matt, that would be so cool! You’d be so good at it! Better let me read it when you’re done, though.” Matt should have felt happy at that statement, but felt nothing. “Yes, of course you’ll read it. What good is an author without an editor?” Matt had no intention of Barry being his editor. He just knows to keep Barry happy. Nobody wants to be on the receiving end of an angry Barry. “I’ll be the editor! Thanks, cousin. I’ll make sure it’s the best story anybody has ever read once you’re finished.” With that, Barry marched away, acting like a soldier for some reason. The only thing Matt could think is “God, that kid is an idiot. Someday, his childlike innocence will doom us all.” He liked how that sounded, and went to add something like that to his story. That was in the past, though. What matters now is that he sits down next to Barry at the dinner table, parallel to Uncle Lucas and Aunt Mary. The table, as always, is stacked with food of Barry’s choosing, with only one food group really being represented: carbohydrates. Bread, pasta, potatoes, butter: it all was there. As usual, everybody else had already filled their plates, leaving Matt with little more than the end of a bread loaf and a little bit of pasta. Matt looks annoyed. “You already know I like potatoes. Why did you only make three? Why is there not enough for me?” Uncle Lucas snaps at him. “Watch your tone, young man. We did make four, but Barry had already grabbed two. He’s already eating the second one. If you come downstairs faster next time, maybe you’ll have some good food left for you.” Uncle Lucas is a scary man, no question. He’s huge thanks to years of poor diet, and is not afraid to use that weight. Last time Matt was able to see the scale after Lucas had used it, he was around 340 pounds. When Matt asked about how he got so big, Uncle Lucas says it’s because “I got really poor for a spell, so when I married your aunt and got some money, I didn’t know how to control myself. It was a hard life I lived, and I know I should lose some weight, but now I’ve got a good life and a good job, so I have no reason to complain.” Despite that, Uncle Lucas is strong, and fast too. His short grey beard would make you think he’s a wise man, but that could not be less true. He actually failed out of high school many years ago, and loves telling the story of how he had gotten kicked out for lying about a math test. After that, apparently his mom kicked him out of the house, and he was homeless until he found a minimum wage job, when he then married in to Matt’s family, and got to where he is now. He hasn’t changed much, how- ever: he still jokes and lies quite a bit. This isn’t Lucas’s story, though. This is Matt’s time. Matt went silent for the rest of the meal. He ate what food was left, then went back upstairs to his room. Before he got too far, though, he heard Aunt Mary holler at him. “Where do you think you are going, young man?” “Back to my room, like I always do.” Matt’s angry now. They are little more than thorns in my side, Matt thought, and now more than ever am I tired of them. Ooh, “thorn in my side”, that sounds good. I have to add that to my story. 54 “Not so fast, young man. You’re always in that room of yours. Why don’t you sit down and talk to us for a little while?” responded Aunt Mary. “Because you people have nothing good to say. Leave me alone.” Re- sponded Matt in an annoyed and condescending tone. Aunt Mary represents everything Matt hates in a person. Her eyes pierce into my soul. I have to add that to my story. Anyway, she keeps staring like a blind owl with nothing to look at. She walks around like a small animal, all hunched over like that. The worst parts are the chemi- cals, though. She puts on so much makeup that she’d probably leave a face-print on the ground if she fell over. Matt constantly thinks like this about the people he has seen or known. Except for Marsken, of course. He’s good. “Well then, I guess we won’t talk about that convention. You know, if I have nothing good to say and all” Uncle Lucas interjects. That inter- ested Matt. You could literally see his ears perk up at the idea. He then slowly begins to walk back to the table and slipped back onto his seat. Lucas laughs. “That caught your attention, huh? What did I say, can I read an audience or what? Unfortunately, I don’t have good news to reward your triumphant return to the table. We simply can’t afford to go. It’s too far away and too expensive, and it’s especial…” “Bullshit.” Matt retorts, almost shaking from anger. “You paid for Barry to go to some asinine camp for learning to play guitar, which he hasn’t played since going, by the way. That cost at least $600, not including the cost of the new guitar, but you can’t pay $300 to go to the convention?” Matt should have felt ashamed at his outburst. For context, the convention in question is a fiction writing convention. Many of the top writers of the fantasy world will be there, including none

Photo by Ethan Kampelman, 12 55 photo by Fr. Chris Schroeder, S.J. 56 57 other than Carl Marsken. Matt lusts for that convention, and the oppor- tunity to show his story to his favorite author. The convention is only a 30-minute drive away, so Matt sees going as a certainty. “And another thing: do you consider thirty minutes to be a long drive, uncle? How far can that really be, I mean real…” “Shut it, idiot. God, my own mother kicked me out of the house, and I’ve never felt more attacked by my own family. You know what, Matt? I did lie to you. It’s not because it’s too far away. It’s because of your attitude. You’re not grateful for any of the things we’ve done for you, so it’s time for you to learn some respect.” Lucas then gets up and walks up to Matt in a threatening manner. “That’s it. I’m done. I don’t need this and I don’t need you.” Matt says these words and immediately sprints up to his room in a sur- prising show of speed, ready to evade his uncle in any way. For the first time in his life, while he is running to his room, he feels tears fall from his eyes. Damn him, he thinks, he can’t understand me. This is my only chance joy. He already beats me whenever he decides that I’m being “un- ruly” or not being “grateful” enough. Who does he think he is? It doesn’t matter anymore. I’m leaving. My story is almost complete, and I’ll get to the convention, and I’ll finally show my writing skills to Marsken, and then the world! Matt runs to his room and gathers his meager belongings. His computer, some clean clothes, and the $50 he had been given during the last Christmas season that he was able to hide before Lucas took it from him. Lucas gathers all the money anybody in the family gets and declares it “family” money. This usually just meant that Lucas was going to use it later for himself. Once Matt gathers what he wants and stuffs it into a simple suitcase, he runs. His run is stopped by Uncle Lucas. All Lucas can manage to say is this: “I’m not like my mother. I don’t want the children in my care to run away and fail. I most cerainly don’t want to see somebody take the path I took. Don’t you dare leave.” Matt is done at this point. He is going to leave no matter what hap- pens. He walks out that door onto the Tennessee grass his Uncle knows and hates. He flees that accursed home, the one within which he had suffered abuse and torment no human deserves to undergo. He’s going to find a way to that convention, and possibly even work up the money and the courage to meet his idol. Maybe he finds the motivation to be a better person. Maybe not. It is now all down to imagination: it is simply fantasy.

58 The Eventful Weekend by Tommy Barry, 12 It was a cold winter night in a small town in Minnesota. The stars were illuminating all over the sky. Daniel and his dad were driving up to their usual campsite that they have been visiting for the past five years. Daniel is 17 years old now. His dad bought him a pocket knife when he was 12. Ever since Daniel has kept his knife as he would his kids. He never has lost it or scratched it. It meant a lot to him because he uses it on a daily basis. As they were pulling up to the campsite, Daniel remi- nisced about the good times he had with his dad. Life back home has not been the best with the divorce two years back. This weekend with his dad allows for a stress free and eventful weekend. He never really under- stood why his parents got divorced in the first place. He always thought they were happy with each other until his mom broke his dad’s trust and was seeing this other guy, Derek. This guy had been in jail before. Dan- iel’s whole family hated him. He immediately gripped his pocket knife as hard as he could. He hated that man and couldn’t believe that his mom would do that. His did time for domestic abuse against a woman. His hand started to hurt from gripping his pocket knife. He thought his father was the coolest person on the planet. The small town was quiet. They drove on through the night sky. It was a bumpy road once they hit the road connecting to their campsite. Tress were surrounding them. Small pond after pond ran across this whole part of forest. Their campsite was in the middle of nowhere. His dad said, “Daniel we are here.” He immediately snapped out of it and said, “What? Oh yeah, sorry, I drifted off for a minute.” His dad responded, “Ha I could tell, you were gripping that knife pretty hard. Everything ok?” He came back, “Yeah everything is alright. I was just thinking of Mark and mom being together and it just angered me.” The trip went as planned for the two boys. They spent the weekend enjoying themselves to a father son bonding time. Daniel very much needed this because his mom has been leaving his father out of family events. Daniel has three sisters. He takes any chance he can from getting away from all of the drama there. During this weekend trip, the two overcame many obstacles. As they arrived on the first night they set out tents and prepared their gear for the trip. Daniel had his pocket knife gripped in his hands. His dad exclaimed, “Daniel for crying out loud, put that damn knife down and help your old man out!” Daniel responded, “Jeez, you don’t have to yell at me.” They continued to put the massive tent up in the cold shallow ground up at the campsite. They finished. Thoughts kept flying through Dan- iel’s mind about his family falling apart. He knew that his father would always be there for him. His dad said, “Hey son, we should get some shut eye for tonight so we can wake up early and get some fish.” Daniel says, “Okay, good night dad.” They both head into their own tent. Daniel has a new top-of-the-line 59 tent. He laid down and marveled at the stars through his see-through tent. He dreamed of the better days with his family and soon passed out. His enters his tent and said, “Rise and shine buddy, time to get some fish.” Daniel ignored his father as every teenager would at getting up this early. Daniel grunts and silently said, “Dad its too early for this, let me sleep some more.” His father wasn’t putting up with that and said, “Get the hell up we only have two days for some good fishing, let’s go!” Daniel got up out of the tent and moaned as he stretched his arms into the cold morning wind. Daniel was excited. He is going to catch some fish today. He loves fishing. He also loves fishing with his father. Today was the day he was going to catch his biggest fish. Daniel gathered his gear as they set out to the small pond. The pond looked lovely. It’s shiny smooth surface looked as no one has ever touched it. It looked lonely out here in the wilderness. Those fish had great lives with no one disturbing them until now. Daniel was a pretty good fisherman but his father was an expert. The trees and nature fell in perfectly with the morning sun gleaming down on their faces. It warmed them. It brought them energy. It was time to fish. It was time to do what they both love. They set up their lines and added their best bait: worms. His father said no one can go wrong with some worms at bait. They loaded up the squishy worms onto the hook and they were ready. The untouched pond was about to be touched. The lovely look it gave off to Daniel and his dad gave them a warming sensation in their body as they were about to fish. His dad said, “Alright Daniel, let’s go, are we still betting on who gets a fish first?” Daniel responded, “You’re, 20 bucks for the first fish?” His dad responded, “Deal.” The first cast of the day looked beautiful. The cast flew up in the air and then nose-dived down into the blissfulness of the open water. The deal was on. It was time to see who could catch the first fish. Daniel drew his rod back and forth so he could maybe get some bits. His dad did the same. No bits on the first casts of the day. This was normal but 20 dollars had Daniel on his toes the whole time. They were going back and forth with the casts. No fish were taken yet. Fifteen minutes have passed by. Thirty minutes have passes by. Sixty minutes have passes by. Until. Daniel yelled, “Dad, I think I got one! It’s a decent size! Oh my God! It is heavy!” Daniel’s father looked across the small pond to see his reel bending a lot. He didn’t think there was that big of a fish in this pond. He yelled back, “That must be a pretty big one, Daniel!” Daniel keeps on struggling reeling it in. It should not be this hard for Daniel. He has caught many fish before and decent sizes as well. He is thinking to himself that he may have caught something else. Not a fish. But what could it be. He starts to shake, pull, shake, pull to get whatever is on his line to the surface. He is started to get angry and im- mediately thinks of his mother. He can’t take it anymore. He ripped the line off of whatever it was connected to. His father has made it over to him by now. He saw the frustration in his son’s eyes and feels bad for him. 60 He said to his son, “Hey it’s alright, you aren’t going to catch a fish every time you cast one. Fishing is all about patience and understand- ing of waiting. Daniel said, “I really thought I had a big one on their though.” His father responds, “Son, to be honest you just might’ve hooked it on a rock down there. It okay. It happens all the time.” Daniel put new line on photo by Jonathan Carani, 12 his fishing pole and was ready to get back out there and catch a fish. He still wanted that 20 bucks. Cast after cast nothing has been caught yet. His father was a great fisherman and he hasn’t caught anything yet. He starts to think if there is any fish in this pond. All of a sudden from across the pond Daniel gets a nice bite from a fish beneath. Daniel said, “Hey dad, guess who is about to be 20 dollars richer.” As soon as those words came out of his mouth, his father received a bite as well. He said to Daniel, “Lookie here, put your money to where your mouth is. I have one on as well.” It was a matter of seconds and who could reel it in faster without losing the fish. Daniel was smiling because he hooked his fish well and started to reel as fast as he could. He yells at Daniel, “I’m not about to let you lose, your old enough now where I can win without you getting mad!” Daniel was going as fast as he could be reeling it in. He saw his father doing the same. He saw his fish reach the surface and knew he won. Ex- citement ran over throughout his entire body because of how close it was. Seconds later his father pulled a decent sized catfish out of the pond. Daniel caught a 3-pound bass. This is why he loved fishing. The excite- ment and joy of catching a fish is what made him love the hobby. His father made his way over to Daniel. He said, “You’re a lucky son of a gun. What a coincidence it is we both hooked one at the same time.” Daniel responded, “Well I guess we know who’s the better fishermen now.” His father said, “Ha, we will see about that one.” Daniel brought out his pocket knife and stripped the line and hook from the fish. He threw it back in the water because he respected fishing. He didn’t want it to set out and suffocate. He was only just beginning. Daniel had a day. He couldn’t remember the last time he has had 10 fish from a day. He loved every minute he was spending with his father. His father did just as good. Daniel’s father said, “Well that was a good day.” 61 Daniel responded, “That was some of the most fun fishing I have ever done.” They gathered up their gear and heading back to their tents on the campsite. The temperature dropped quite of few degrees when the sun went down. They reached their tents. Daniel’s father got his phone from inside and walked out. All Daniel could see was his mouth drop. Daniel’s father exclaimed, “We have to leave now!” Daniel responded, “Why? What happened?” His father came back, “Just get your stuff and get in the car. We have to leave. NOW!” Thoughts were piling up in Daniel’s head. He had no idea what was wrong. His father seemed angry at what happened. He was trying to get his tent down as quickly as he could. Daniel was worried. He was having one of the best days and now he is leaving with his father to who knows what. Daniel thinking to himself, “What the hell happened? Why can’t he tell me? What is so important? Oh no something bad happened. Yep I know it. I saw his face when he opened up his phone. Why can’t he just tell me?” His father took down his tent in a matter of minutes. This had to be something important. They both finished up getting everything they had by their campsite and threw into the car. They hopped in and off they went spurting down the gravel road. His father hasn’t said a word. This has only made Daniel more frightened of what happened. Then his father’s phone started to ring. It was his mother calling. This seemed a little odd. Why would Daniel’s mom call his father. Something really bad must’ve happened. She yelled, “Chris hurry!” Daniel’s father, Chris, said, “I’m hurrying. Are you hurt?” She responded as she was crying, “Yes he is very angry and threw me to the wall.” He’s downstairs right now. Chris I’m scared. He has never been like this before. He might come hurt me again.” Chris responded, “If he hurts you, I will make sure he doesn’t talk ever again.” Daniel’s father hung up the phone and stepped down on the gas pedal. They were bumping up and down all over the road. His father told him that his mother refused to move out with Derek and Derek had thrown her across the room. Daniel has never seen his dad like this before. He looked furious as he gripped the steering wheel as hard as he could. Daniel did the same. The only thing different was that his hand was on his pocket knife. The pocket knife. Daniel thought to himself if this was a time for him to use it. He hated Derek. They were only about five minutes to the house. His dad was speed- ing pretty fast. Daniel looked over to his right and saw a cop car. Dan- iel didn’t say anything to his father because he would just yell at him. Daniel slowly peeked his head towards the speedometer. It read 67 miles per hour. The speed limit on this road was 35 miles per hour. Daniel was hoping for the best. Chris flew by the cop without even noticing him. Seconds after lights flipped on. Daniel’s father looked in his rear view mirror. He saw the cop car catching up to them. He didn’t flinch. His leg was still full force on the pedal. Daniel kept quiet. They were approach- ing one minute away from the house. Daniel was going to tell him to stop but he still kept quiet. The cop car got right on his tail. His dad could care less. He was 62 determined to help his wife. They were close to the road that leads to their house. Close to 30 seconds. The cop had now sped to his right and motioning for him to get over. His father’s eyes stayed glued to the road. He whipped a hard right turn. It looked as he was trying to avoid the cop. If only the cop knew. By now the cop car had ran up on his tail. Daniel could see his house. He could also see Derek’s red hot mustang out in front. Daniel’s father flew onto the other side of the driveway and got out. The cop car did the same. The police officer raised his Taser at his father. Chris yelled to the police officer as he runs inside, “My wife has been hit by man!” The police officer barely could hear him and screamed, “Put your hands up!” Chris sprinted through the garage and burst through the door. The police officer kept up. Daniel was shocked. He just sat there in his dad’s car as everything happened so quickly. He got out of the car and ran inside to see what is happening. He flies through the door. He sees four people in the family room. His mother is on the ground crying. Derek pinned to the ground by his father. The police officer holding his Taser at his father’s face. His mother cried out, “Please everyone stop.” The police officer broke up the two from fighting. His mom told the police officer everything. Derek was angry. He broke his probation. Daniel could see veins popping out of his forehead. This brought Daniel to peace. His father also got out of his situation with the cop. His mother was going to be back with his father. After all it was an eventful week- end. A good weekend. Prom Night by Tommy Barry, 12 It is finally Friday as Jeremey scurries over to his car right after school. He attends Saint John’s High School in New York. He immediate- ly pulls out his phone while he sits down. The car is steamy after a hot day of school. Jeremy flips the AC button in his new 2018 GMC Sierra to the max because of the hot air melting on his drippy wet skin. Jeremy, now 18 years old in his last High School year, cannot stop thinking about his new car and dozes off for a minute. He remembers why he bought this car because he totaled his first one after hitting a deer two years earlier. He recalls his dad saying, “Jeremy, this car is a lot of money, so keep good care of it.” Ever since he heard that, Jeremy keeps it nice and clean. He is the oldest of three in the family and works at Tidal Wave Luxury Car Wash. With his job, he is allowed free car washes so he keeps the car looking brand new. His mind shifts back to present day. As the cool AC bursts through the vents in his new truck, Jeremy receives a text from his girl- friend, Alyssa. The text reads, “What time are you picking me up tonight for Prom?” Jeremy responds back, “I will be over around 8.” His mind now shifts into Prom night. Jeremy really loves Alyssa and wants this to be a night for her to remember. He wants it to be special. 63 In the meantime, Jeremey throws the gear into drive as he heads home. He is getting ready as his younger siblings are playing downstairs. He is about to leave, but he cannot find his keys. Jeremy angrily yells down at his siblings, “Who took my keys!” They respond back in unison, “Not us.” Jeremy knows that they are joking so he flies down the stairs to inter- rogate. Once he realizes they are telling the truth he knows that they didn’t steal them. He immediately freaks out and starts to worry about being late. He could not be late for this special night. He then remembers he has left them in his car. He breathes out a sigh of relief. He runs out the door as he says good bye to his family. He jumps in the truck and is ready for Prom. He arrives at her house to pick up his lovely date. He knocks on the door and Alyssa’s mom lets him in. As he walks in, Alyssa is on her way

photo by Thomas Emms, 12 64 down the stairs. Jeremy says, “Wow you look beautiful.” Alyssa blushes and responds, “Thank you Jeremy that means a lot.” Alyssa’s mom made sure that they got a picture before the dance. They took quite a few and are about to leave until her dad popped in. Alyssa’s dad is a drunk and never cares for their family. He has been in and out of jobs his entire life. Jeremy has heard her complain a million times of him. He never really wanted to meet him because of all the sto- ries he has heard about him. Her dad opens the door and it slams shut. This is the first time Jeremy has been face to face with him. He stumbles in as he slurs, “Hey boy, if anything happens to her, I’ll kill ya.” Jeremy responds, “Alright I will take good care of her, sir.” He lets out a massive burp and slurs again, “Oh yeah and have her home by 10:00.” Jeremy is confused at first but goes along with it. “Yes sir, will do.” Her dad then stumbles into the kitchen and opens up the fridge. He grabs a case of beer and makes his way to the coach. This was the time for Jeremy to leave. They said goodbye to Alyssa’s mom and head their way to Prom. Alyssa has no idea what was coming. Jeremy has planned something for her. They pull up to Saint John’s. Everything is decorated

photo by Jack Barry, Alumnus

65 and looks really good. Jeremy thinks about what her dad said earlier about being home by 10:00. He wasn’t going to ask. He is ready to give her a great night. They walk in the colorful doors which leads down to the Gym where they dance is held. Jeremy says, “Alyssa lets go dance.” She responds, “Yes, I would love to.” By the way I am sorry about earlier with my dad. I didn’t expect him to pop in like that. And he was dead serious about having me home by10:00.” Jeremy adds, “You can’t be serious, I want to spend the whole night with you.” She says, “I know you wanted this to be a meaningful night but my dad is strict on these things. Even though he doesn’t really care about me, he hates boys.” He says, “I guess so. Well now we only have 2 hours. Time to dance.” They walk onto the load dance floor. Jeremy starts to dance with Alyssa. They get close and Jeremy looks deep into her dreamy blue eyes. This was one of the reasons he has fell in love with her. He can’t stop looking at them. This was making his night special. They continue to dance and have a great time. Then Jeremy looks down at his shiny grey watch. It reads 9:23. He lost track of time dancing with Alyssa. He totally forgot about the gift he bought her. Now he plans to give it to her when he drops her off. He tells her it is about time to go. She looks down at her phone and opens her mouth wide. She couldn’t believe it either. They head back through the colorful doors and make their way to Alyssa’s house. They arrive at the house. Now is the time for him to show her the gift. He hopes it would make her night. Jeremy says, “I have something for you.” Jeremy reaches for a bag in the back and pulls out a shiny gold neck- lace. Alyssa says, “Jeremy oh my god you did not have to buy this. I can’t believe this. Oh my god it is beautiful.” Jeremy has a big grin on his face as he knew he made her night. This was the only thing he wanted going into the night and he has done it. Alyssa’s jumps into the driver seat on his lab as they start to kiss. All of sudden they heard a weird knock on the door. He immediately threw Alyssa back in the other seat. It is her dad. He is frightened a little. Jer- emy rolls down the window hoping for the best. Her dad slurs at them both, “Your late son, 1 minute late and now I’m going to have to kick your ass.” Alyssa touches Jeremy’s cold soft hands and leans in. She whispers, “Once I get out of the car, drive away fast.” Jeremy nods slowly. She jumps out of the truck and runs inside with her short blue dress bobbing up and down. Her dad who is highly intoxi- cated reaches for the car. Jeremy throws the lever into D and launches his foot on the gas pedal. He looks in the rear view mirror as the dad runs at him. There is no way he is catching him. Jeremy is relieved. He has good thoughts from here on out. Even though, her dad is scary he still loves to be with Alyssa. He knew he made her night and that is all that mattered to Jeremy. He had no worry in the world about her dad and anything else that night. He thought to himself. “I did it.”

66 AMDG by Matthew James, 12 It was another hot day of summer. I was playing with my best friends from grade school. I was hiding in a tree with a nerf gun playing tag. As soon as I climbed this birch tree and got settled I could hear Patrick run- ning through the grass with the sound of leaves falling behind his heavy footsteps. He was yelling “HEY, HENRYYYYY, I CAN SMELL YOU!” Patrick was always a little weird but he almost made me burst out laugh- ing. We had our own version of tag where we all had nerf pistols and could shoot people to make them “it” if you are already “it” or shoot the person who is “it” and make them respawn to our checkpoint. I had one nerf bullet to shoot him, If I missed I’d be done. I would either have to stay where I am in the tree like fresh meat or drop down the tree and run for my life. I decided to shoot him and hope I hit him. I aimed down the sights and pulled the trigger. It flew through the air with a whistling sound to it. It flew right past his cheek almost hitting him. He was star- tled and fell on his butt as he didn’t know that I was in the trees. That was my opportunity to run so I took it. I sprinted as fast as I could and I was very fast. I was yelling in fear and excitement like a little kid. I was better at sprinting then Patrick but he was pretty athletic and good with endurance and caught up to right behind me where I could almost feel his breath behind me. He was yelling “I’M GONNA GET’CHA” and he dove forward and tagged me. When he did, I collapsed from running for so long and hard. I laied down on the ground for a minute or two while Patrick went to hide. I decided to look for Vinny because he was the weakest of the group. I ran some more looking for him and it didn’t take long until I found Vinny. Vinny was sitting in a green bush hiding so he wouldn’t have to run. I ran towards him and didn’t want to miss my shot so I ran to tag him. He moved to the right and then cut left and actually juked me out. I never knew he could do that. As soon as he did that I didn’t waste any time and just shot him from 5 feet away. Vinny started complaining “I don’t want to do this anymore”. I was kind of tired too so I yelled ‘THE GAME IS OVER” throughout the forest and David and Patrick ran towards my voice. David said “What’s going on” “Vinny is tired so I think were done with that game.” David replied “Wow Vinny you are a pussy like always” David chose every opportunity to make fun of his younger brother. “what game are we playing” said Patrick “how about basketball, but we can just shoot around and then play a game” We all loved to play basketball and when we did we would usually play at Patrick’s house because he had the best basketball hoop. His house was only a five minute walk so we walked to his house.

We liked playing outside and did it basically every day. At first when we were really young we didn’t like to play outside. all we did was stay inside playing on the WII. It was one of those days of us playing WII at David and Vinny’s house where their parents forced us outside. We had to spend 1 hour outside which felt like forever as kids. Because of 67 us playing outside it built our friendship and also started mine with Vinny. He was David’s little brother that he had to always be carried around with David. David hated it at first but then they became great friends and even better brothers. When they made fun of each other it was always playful and to make a quick joke. We would usually play in the forest as it was between all of our houses so we would play so many games there and forget about time. After that one hour we didn’t want to end the fun and go inside so we just kept playing outside. That ended up keeping me in shape.

Patrick’s house was huge. It was easily the biggest out of all of ours. His dad is the CEO of a huge technology company so he has a lot of money to spend on Patrick. When we got to the court we lowered the hoop to 7 feet so we can all dunk including Vinny who was almost a whole foot smaller than us. David and Patrick were between 5ft. 6-8 while I was 6 ft. 2. Vinny was somewhere around 5ft. 3 but he couldn’t jump well at all. We started shooting around the ball. “Vinny are you excited to be a freshman next year” “Yeah, it’ll be great!” “Not for me, I’ll be stuck with this twerp” said David “But you only have one year with him so it’s not that bad. All we have to worry about is applying to college.” I said “Don’t even get me stated on that crap” said Patrick. It was a couple seconds of us shooting around and then David had to bring up the worst topic “Hey, I was thinking if we could go to mass this Sunday” “I’ll go but it’s been like a month since I went” “Why the hell would I do that” I said I hated God and going to mass. I didn’t see the point in it. “Well, Patrick is going so you should go” said David as he shot the

photo by Matthew James, 12 68 basketball and it went straight in. “Nope I’m not gonna go, and anyways I can sleep in” “whatever” said David. We began to play 2 verses 2. The teams were Patrick and Vinny verses David and I. Patrick ended up carrying the team but it was no match for David and I who were both average at basketball. When the game ended we were completely done with playing as we were outside the whole day. I walked back home which was only a 2-minute walk. I knew my friend group including myself was weird but I didn’t care, I have fun with them.

I woke up late on that Sunday morning. It was 11 In the morning and I walked over to make myself coffee. I made my coffee and walked back to my room to play zombies on my computer. Sundays were the best, I could hang out in my room forever and do whatever I wanted with no responsibility. I went on Spotify and played the “chill music playlist” and sat down in my gaming chair with my coffee and played zombies at peace. There are days like this that I love. I can be by myself and have fun. It is the definition of “me time”.

…......

I woke up for my first day of school. I had so much time to prepare for this day but I wasn’t physically and mentally ready. I needed to find my blue tie for Senior pictures but couldn’t find it. Whatever, I’ll just ask Patrick for one, he probably has like a million ties as I said to my- self. I texted him and he did have an extra one but it was his dad’s so it might be a little big on me. I didn’t care. I got in my car and drove to Patrick’s house for the tie and to also bring him to school. He combed his dark brown hair back and had some nice clothes on. He looked good. I grabbed his dad’s tie and put it around my collar as I started to drive to David and Vinny’s house to drive them to school. I parked the car and tied Patrick’s dad’s tie on. I was kind of ready now to go to school. I still didn’t want to go mentally but at least I was physically ready. It was Vinny’s first day of school as a high school student. When we arrived to the school, I saw the brick building with the almost gray windows that made it looked abandoned. Patrick and I had nothing better to do so we went with David to help Vinny find his homeroom and where his classes were. I was lucky this year and chose the easiest classes I could as it was my senior year so it can be a breeze. I took P.E., the easiest history class, public speaking, and an easy A theology class. The theology class is worrying me a tiny bit because I am an atheist and didn’t care for God or what the teacher had to say about him. I got back to my homeroom which I shared with Patrick. David stayed behind to continue helping Vinny. When I did help Vinny he looked so nervous, like more nervous than any freshman should be. Mr. Jean was in the room when I walked in. He is my favorite teacher especially since he is my homeroom teacher. I remember one time I was 30 minutes late to class and he just made fun of me and then didn’t mark me late. “Hey, Mr. Jean” I said. “Good morning Henry, I have some unfortunate news for you” “What is it?” “You are switching homerooms” Patrick was standing behind me and was as surprised and sad as I was. Patrick and I would always sit next to each other and talk during 69 homeroom. It was one of the few times I had to talk more personally with Patrick without David and Vinny. “why am I switching homerooms? I didn’t know that people could switch homerooms?” Mr. Jean looked me in the eyes with an empathetic face “I donno, I guess some other homerooms didn’t have enough students so they needed more.” Mr. Jean handed me the slip of paper that was given to him by the head office that said what homeroom I was going to. It said: Room 115 That was the worst homeroom I could’ve ever asked for. That was Fr. John’s homeroom. Father John is the one who is teaching me Introducto- ry Theology 1. I grabbed my backpack and waved goodbye to Patrick. I was sad about leaving the homeroom although it wasn’t too bad because Patrick and I still had P.E. together. I walked down the hallway and turned right and saw a door. It had a blue plaque to the right of the door that said. Room 115- Fr. John. I walked in the door and Fr. John was sitting on his chair behind his desk. “Good Morning Mr. Caitliceach” said Fr. John. No one calls me by my last name. I hated my last name. He just met me so I didn’t want to tell him about that yet. “Good Morning” Fr. John began talking to the whole class. “This is Henry, he is new to our homeroom so let’s welcome him in like one of our own.” I scanned the class looking for someone to sit by but it seemed as though I knew no one in the room. I began walking towards the back of the class to an open seat but then all of the sudden David waved his hand in the air. “Hi Henry” I sat by him and was so happy that I had someone to sit by and out of all people it was one of best friends that was in this homeroom. I looked over at Fr. John as I never really paid attention to his face before. He was old but not too old. He was around in his 50s. He had built cheek- bones and a very happy joy filled face. He reminded me of Bob Ross. He was typing away on his computer and whatever he was typing must’ve been something funny because he was smiling all through homeroom.

I barely got through classes on the first day and knew that this will be a long final year of high school. When I exited school it was beautiful and happy. The sun was shining through the doors of the dark and depressing school building. I saw Patrick and David outside. The wind was blowing in 90 degree weather so the slight brees felt good. I walked up to Patrick and David. David was saying “This year is going to be so easy. I have the easiest classes and don’t have to try in any of them.” “I was so tired today and slept through most of my classes”. “wow” Henry, you need to sleep more then. “Let’s get Bagels” said Vinny as he walked over with a big smile on his face. He was so excited as it was his first day of high school. We all got in David’s Jeep and drove to Bagel Stop. It was the best bagel place in town. Patrick had the Aux chord and played Windows are rolled down. We walked in and sat down. Vinny was so excited. He said “High School is so fun!” The classes are soooo easy. “How about dodgeball?” said Patrick. Dodgeball was always played Freshman year in P.E. class. It was both physical and also social. If you 70 were good at it you would tend to make friends with the other athletic kids. If you weren’t it would be the same way. “I suck at dodgeball. Although I wasn’t the worst like that Charles kid.” “Oh yeah” Patrick started laughing. “That kid is easily the strangest kid at school.” “He sprints down the hall to get to his classes” Said David “I hate my new homeroom” I said. “Yeah, He left mine and now he’s in Fr. John’s class.” Said Patrick “Yeah, Fr. John is the most intrusive person I know. Like I tried sleep- ing in homeroom and he woke me up and asked me how I was doing” “Yeah, but at least you’re with me in that homeroom.” Said David It was the next month and I started to settle in although it felt like only a week had passed. My hardest class this semester was P.E. I am sort of athletic but when it comes to any athletic sport I lose so hard. I was playing basketball against a bunch of Jocks in P.E. and I scored 6 points and 2 assists. My other classes are not a challenge at all. The teacher’s know that it is senior year so they don’t want to give out home- work that no one will do. I do have theology class this semester and it is almost as bad as P.E. but I usually sleep in that class so I don’t get mad in that class listening to Fr.John’s bullshit. I have a test in that class today so I’m not ready for it. I sat down in homeroom with my theology notes out which are very few and Fr. John walked up and talked to me. “How are you doing today” “Good” although I wanted to say “(F U, I’m trying to last minute study for your class so leave me alone)” “I can see that you are struggling in my class, are you doing ok” I didn’t know what to say because there was nothing to say. I am struggling in the class and am doing fine but what’s he want from me. In

by Matthew James, 12 71 those split seconds I came up with the most BS answer but just truth- ful enough for him to believe hoping it would help my grade without me having to do any extra work. “I am actually not having a great day, or even a great couple of weeks. I am getting yelled at by my parents like every night because of their worries about me getting into colleges that I want to get into. I am usual- ly chill but then they make me stressed and then I can’t focus and study at home so that’s why I always study during school.” “Oh, I see. I am so sorry for you; I understand your situation. I had al- most the same thing when I was your age. I couldn’t focus and hated my parents for making me stressed all the time. My grades eventually began to drop and I had no one to turn to.” “What’d you do then?” I said “I turned to the only person that I could at the time. God.” “oh that kind of stuff isn’t for me” I said “Well, I’ll tell you what. If you go to Adoration at St. Matthew’s Par- ish tonight I will move your quiz to next week and guide you through it.” “Oh, I’m an Atheist” “why don’t you believe in God?” I hesitated and said “I can’t see why a God who controls everything allows bad things to happen to regular good people.” “I see, but if everything was happy and there was no evil we would have no option to choose what we want to do and to make things good there has to be some bad.” “Oh, wow” I was blown away by his knowledge. “So if you choose to go to Adoration you don’t have to be Catholic, it’s just a calm setting to think and relax.” “ok I’ll go” I don’t know what I’m supposed to expect tonight but all I Know is that I get extra time for my test. “ok great, and just to let you know you can always talk to me when- ever you want to.” The bell rang and Fr. John walked away. David looked at me with a very confused face as I wasn’t surprised he did. We walked out of the class together. “what happened back there” David said “I didn’t mean anything I said, trust me. I just made up some BS so I can help my theology grade.” “Oh, even about being an Atheist? “No, that was true but he wanted me to go to Adoration tonight” “oh my gosh, I’m going too so I can give you a ride there” as he had a big smile on his face. “ok sure” I said. I walked to my next class which happened to be Math class. I am so lucky that I am naturally good at math because I have senioritis and had it ever since the end of Junior year. I didn’t try in that class and did the bare minimum. It was a breeze. I got to Theology Class and didn’t know what to expect. I sat down and tried not making eye contact with Fr. John. He didn’t say anything or even acknowledge me at all this class. It was amazing. Fr. John to- wards the end of class said “Everyone clear your desks; we are taking a quiz” “Henry, I want a word with you outside” Everyone scrambled to each other trying to figure out what the an- swers were going to be on the test in 10 seconds but no one knew any 72 answers. They were an ticking time bomb ready to explode when Fr. John would pass out the test. I walked outside of his class and he whispered to me. “You can go to the library and study for this test that I will give you next class” I am so thrilled; I not only get to get out of his tests but also his classes! I walked into the library and sat in the back of the room in a corner where no one was close to me. I put on my headphones that were soundproof and the most comfortable headphones I have ever worn. I lis- tened to some Almond Brothers and did some homework from American History class. I thought about why Fr. John was so nice to me and why he would want me at Adoration. I also remembered what he said about God and I started thinking about it more and more. He was right. I got home and had to get ready for the adoration thing. I put on a plain t-shirt and some jeans waited for David to pick me up. When he finally did pick me up I said to him “I never asked anyone yet, but what is adoration and what do I do there?” “You just sit down or kneel and pray to God” “for how long?” “I don’t know, Its up to you. I usually go for 30 minutes.” “Ok, I guess I’ll stay with you then.” We walked in the church. I hadn’t been in one of these in years. It smelled strange at first but then I sort of got used to the smell and kind of liked it. David and I both sat down. Fr. John was there and placed the bread into a circle thing on the table and walked away. I began to think about my life and problems I had with my life. It was very re- laxing and calmed me down. I started thinking about if that thing on the alter was God would my life change that much or at all. I’m a nice person and do good things. Isn’t that what Catholic people want you to do? After thinking about that stuff for awhile my head hurt so I waited for David to finish up and he drove me home. When I got home I was so tired that I went straight to bed after eating a pop tart.

I woke up the next day with a lot of sleep. I actually felt refreshed either it’s a coincidence or that Adoration made me feel better. I went to talk to Fr. John immediately at the start of school in homeroom. “Fr. John, I went to the Adoration thing” “oh great, I saw you there. Did you like it?” “well I can’t lie to a priest so I’ll tell the truth. I had a great time. It was relaxing and calming.” “That’s great!” Said Father John. “I’ll see you later” “Ok, see you later” as I walked away to my first class of the day. It was History class with David. We got to have a study hall because Mr. K was sick and we had a sub. In the middle of me studying for our history quiz next class david says to me “Do you want to go to mass tomorrow?” I was in shock. He said it out of no where so I didn’t know what to say. “I don’t know, maybe” “why not? If you liked Adoration, you’ll like this” “Um, I guess I’ll go” “it was the next day on the weekend and I didn’t want to go to

73 mass.” “when I walked in the church it was filled with people. Not just old people but children, teenagers, middle aged people, and the elderly. We sat down and church started. I don’t know why but it just felt different than what I remembered as a kid. I actually liked it. I didn’t receive the bread because I was told by David that I can’t eat it yet. I started think- ing about why I feel so happy when I go to this God stuff. I talked to Fr. John about it and he told me about this thing where I can be a Catholic and receive communion. I sounded like a good thing for me. I started going to mass with my friends and I actually liked it. I am definitely not that sad guy that was at the start of school. I Hate Camping by Matthew James, 12 I hate camping. In fact, I’ve always hated it The bugs, the heat, the “fun” activities that ended up being very boring. I also was never able to sleep which made my days even more difficult. One time when I was 8 I was camping with my dad and a snake went into my tent. I started screaming and nearly passed out. While I was screaming my head off, my dad grabbed the snake behind its head and smashed it into a rock outside. After that day I never wanted to go camping in the woods and didn’t for awhile. A couple years later after not camping just out of the blue, my dad walked into my bedroom and said to me. “Son, I want you to be a real man so I signed you up for Boy Scouts.” I guess he didn’t realize how different Boy Scouts has changed from his generation to our generation. Back in his day it was all about having fun and learning new things over everything. Now it is somewhat the same but it is now watered down with safety. I hate the word safety. It just reminds me of ruining everything that is fun. Football used to be fun until they made it “more safe”, rock climbing used to be fun until it wasn’t safe enough, and shooting guns apparently were too scary and had to be more safe with the orange jackets and the harsh criticism from millennials. I wish I was alive in the 1940s where real men were created through Boy Scouts. My dad said that they could go and do whatever they wanted in the woods. It makes me sick thinking about how we changed from a great organization to a load of crap full parents to send their kids for punishment. On my first Boy Scout campout I didn’t know anyone and was expecting too much from it because of my dad’s great stories. I met a kid named Jeremy. He wasn’t shy at all, in fact he was the loudest one in the whole troop and I had to sleep in a tent with him. I barely slept that night but I wasn’t going to sleep any way because of the bugs always crawling on me. I woke up around six in the morning. I was actually happy to see the sun again knowing that I was one day closer to the end. Mr. Wood, our scoutmaster told us that we were going swimming. I hate swimming. I could easily run, bike, or even climb a mile but when I’m in the water I just can’t swim well for some reason. I got to the sand of the water with Jeremy. “Jeremy, are you good at swimming?” “I mean I’m not good but I can swim” 74 “huh. Do we have to swim?” “I think so, or at least if we don’t Mr. Wood will get really mad at you.” “ok, I guess I’ll have to do this and just try to have some fun” “Yeah, you should while you’re stuck in the middle of the woods” I walked along the wooden dock that shook when you put any weight on it. I got to the edge and jumped in. It was so cold but I could tolerate it. I hated almost every kid there. We had to swim a mile which was hard in itself but on top of that there were kids who would flail their legs and arms around and hit me in the face and if they didn’t hit you they would get water in your eyes. I couldn’t finish the mile. I was so tired and fed up with this stupidity. I swam away from the swarm of kids swimming in laps and swam to shore. When I had just wiped my eyes of water and found my footing on shore I saw Mr. Wood running towards me barking at me. I couldn’t understand what he was saying because he was so mad but I knew why. I held my head low and walked to the wooden bench and waited for the other kids to finish swimming. I saw Jeremy and walked over to him. “Hey Jeremy, how was it?” “I liked the swimming part but I got kicked in the face a couple times.” “that sounds fun. Do you know what we’re doing next?” As soon as I said that Mr. Wood replied “we’re going rockclimbing” “I was excited because I actually enjoyed rock climbing as a kid and climbing with my dad. It was fun with my dad. I knew what I was do- ing when they gave an instructional talk that was useless. Of course you don’t climb unless you had a harness on. The instructor made us use these calls to notify everyone what your doing so there is no miscommu- nication to make it “safe”. When the instructor finally shut up it was my turn to climb. Everyone else was scared to go so I went first. I started off slow to see the rocks ahead. I looked at the fastest way to get up the cliff without falling. I found a foot-long divot up ahead and decided to climb there. I put my hands easily around the rock and felt my grip strengthen with the rock that curved perfectly into the shape of my hand. I got to the top of the cliff relatively fast and everyone was clapping for me. I appreciated it but I honestly didn’t do anything special, I just climbed a small cliff with two ropes attached to a harness so it was almost impos- sible to slip and fall. I am finally happy for once on this campout. Mr. Wood decided that it was time for lunch and because I was the new person in the troop I had to cook for one of the four patrols. I had to go to the Boy Scout “Market” even though it was just a wooden shack with different cooking materials and supplies for us to use. We had a limited amount of money to save for the week and we could only spend it on our food. Because I was the one cooking, I wanted it to be good so I might have over spent a little but it was worth it. I had to prove myself. I mostly spent all of the money on Salmon because it was the most expen- sive but also the best tasting there. I also bought some noodles because they were easy to make and if I messed up the salmon then I could just serve the noodles. I also bought some spices that the guy at the counter said was good for noodles. I got back to camp and saw that Jeremy had successfully started a fire for the noodles. I brought out a pan for the salmon and a big pot for the noodles. We had put the noodles with water over the fire and had to wait awhile for that to start boiling. After an 75 hour with talking to Jeremy about random things we noticed that the water began to boil. We decide that it was time to start on the salmon so I brought out the pan for the salmon, put some butter below it so it wouldn’t stick and sat there for a while Jeremy finished up the noodles. I put some garlic powder and Paprika on it. It smelled so good that my mouth started watering. I set the food on the table and we all sat down to eat. Everyone was impressed with how well I could actually cook. I guess I was a natural but I think it’s from watching my mom cook dinner every night. After eating I changed clothes because it was hot outside

by Matthew James, 12 and I started sweating into my old clothes. I was so excited when Mr. Wood said that we were going shooting today. We then walked to the shooting range and I couldn’t contain myself. I went shooting with my dad for as long as I could remember and it is one of my favorite things to do. We did the same thing with rock climbing. We had the that stupid lecture on gun safety that was just common sense. We got to shoot .22s and I was by far the best. I had the position, breathing, and shooting patterns down. The target was 50 meters away and I got 2 shots in the 8, 2 in the 9, and 1 in the 10. It wasn’t my best but I still was shooting well. Jeremy was shooting for the first time and didn’t do well but he got a good grouping of all 5 shots were together. I got an award for best shot in the camp. Apparently I did better than I thought I did. I went back to camp and thought about camp so far. I realized that it wasn’t about the organization that I was with that ruined things. It was my perception of what I felt about camping. Once I turned 18 and wasn’t a Boy Scout I started camping with my dad again. He is very hard on me but I real- ized that it was to make me into a real man. A man who can cook, climb, shoot, and can survive by himself in the wilderness. I now live outside of Yellowstone and for weeks at a time go camping in Yellowstone with myself, nature, and a map.

76 Senior Ditch Day by Jacob Britton, 12

It was about 4 o’clock in the afternoon on a Thursday. I had left my phone at home because I knew if I took it to school I would get in trouble and get it taken. When I arrived to school everything seemed to be going wrong: people were fighting, teachers weren’t teaching, and the principal was absent. On top of all of that I slipped because the custo- dian decided that it wasn’t important to put a wet floor sign on a floor that was covered in baby oil and water. I looked for my best friend Dave who was a senior, but he wasn’t there. Come to think about it, I didn’t see any seniors that day and the ones that I did see were annoying the hell out of me constantly laughing as if anything was funny. I couldn’t keep my cool anymore I damn near lost it, I called Dave: “Dave where are you?” “Home. Why? What’s up?” “Nothing I’m just sick of this hellhole they call a school and everyone in it.” “Screw that place man, come to my crib and we’ll chill and talk.” “Alright I’ll be there in about 15 minutes.”

When I arrived at Dave’s house I was sized up by what I could have sworn was a bear. “Spike get your ass in your cage and leave him alone!”. Spike was very smart for a bull massif but she only listened to Dave, nobody else. I didn’t understand why the hell he had a bitch named spike anyway, I mean seriously you’d think spike was a guy. After I finished looking death directly in the eyes I began to talk to Dave about the weird day I was having. I started by asking him why many of the under- classmen and almost all of the senior class were absent. “It’s a holiday” he said. “What holiday?” “How don’t you know about senior ditch day? It’s one of the most recognized holidays by high school students.”

I knew deep down inside that he had to be serving me a bowl of shit because I’d never heard if this holiday in my entire 17 years of living. The only reason I didn’t want to continue talking about the holiday was because I knew that it would lead up to an argument; both of us are very stubborn individuals and we both feel the urge to be rite at all times. I had to think of a quick way out because I didn’t feel like arguing so I began to tell him about a few of the fights that happened at school but I was quickly interrupted by his younger brother Kev. Kev was in middle school and always got bullied because his eyes sat rather low and he talked with his tongue. Many people thought Kev was slow but really he was very bright, he just looked a little different. “Dave, Dave, Dave, Dave, Da…” “What? What do you want Kev?” “I’m hungry” 77 “You just ate the last of my food, you’re not getting any more alright. If you’re hungry then that’s on you, you’re the only person that got the power to change that Kev, now go sit down.” Kev also had very bad anger issues and considering that he was the same size as Dave and played defensive line for his school, it wasn’t such a great idea for Dave to yell at him. Kev quickly grabbed the lamp off of Dave’s dresser and shattered it over his head, that’s where things changed for the worst. Dave began pounding in Kev’s face and all you could hear was Kev’s voice disappearing into the screams of a horror movie. It was their mom, even she couldn’t break the fight up. To them this was normal but to me it was war. After the two finally got tired with fighting Dave prompted me to come with him. We took a long walk and talked about our real problems. “I think I got Tracey pregnant.” “What! How? Why? When?” I was full of questions and they needed to be answered. “A week ago she came over and spent the night at my house and she hasn’t come on her period.” I honestly didn’t know what advice to give him besides deny it. I told him that he should block her number and never speak to her again until he was ready to the care of the kid. He looked at me as if he wanted to strangle me or something when all I did was give my honest opinion. “Are you kidding me? Did you forget my dad is a preacher? He’s going to freaking kill me if he finds out, especially if he knows I ditched her. It has to be a better way to go about this.” Dave was becoming hysterical and started punching the tall, dark, thick, oak tree that was shading us from the sun. He looked around and realized that there was a group of kids staring at him like he was a monster. “What the hell are you looking at?” he screamed at the chil- dren. Oh yeah, he did it, he went crazy, loco, berserk, I thought he was going to kill someone. “Dude what the hell is wrong with you? What are doing?” “It’s not just Tracey that’s stressing me out, it’s my mom, the doctors say that she might only have a month to live.” I really wanted to ask Dave what the hell he was talking about, but I just couldn’t force myself to continue that conversation, it was too heavy. I knew that something was up when he told me about 3 weeks ago that the kids were making fun of his mom at school because she was constantly losing her breathe. He told me that she had some type of lump in her chest and that ever since it appeared she’d been tired and weak. At first, everyone though that she was just sick with some type of cold or something but then things started to take a turn for the worst. As she was teaching her class she fell out and had to be taken to the hospital and no one thought anything about it because she told every- one that she just had a heat stroke due to dehydration. Turns out it was something way more serious. It wasn’t my place to ask Dave what was going on with his mother, so I didn’t, I grabbed Dave and hugged him. I told him that everything would be alright and if it was meant to be then she would pull through. Tears began to roll down his face, this was the first time I’d ever seen him cry and the only thing I could do was cry with him. After we were done crying like teenage girls on their periods I suggested that we go to the mall and grab a quick bite. “How’s your burger?” 78 “It’s cool. Yours?” “It’s alright.” Our conversation over lunch was beyond depressing. The talk was so grey that even a 5-year-old kid could sense something was tearing us apart. We sat in silence for what seemed to be forever but our silence was soon broken by Dave’s phone. It was his dad, and the news wasn’t good. He told Dave that he needed to get to the hospital immediately because they could be losing a loved one. When we arrived at the hospi- tal the lady wouldn’t let us in, she told us that there was no one there by the name of name of Anne. Furious, Dave called his dad and began yelling at him: “Dad seriously? What the hell why would you play with my feelings like that? What kind of sick joke are you trying to play?” “Dave calm down” “No, no you don’t play like that.” “Dave, I never said that it was your mom, I’m not lying.” “Well who is it?” A moment of silence filled the room, it felt as if a heavy black cloud fell over our heads and left us trapped in one motionless room. Dave fell to the floor and proceeded to punch the wall that supported his back. I immediately detained him and called his dad to let him know what was going on. When he came downstairs to help me I asked him why Dave was acting this way, he told me that it was Kevin that was in the hospital because had a tumor. He told me that the doctors don’t think he’ll make it and that based on the size of it he might not make it through the week. Later that night Kev took his last breath in a white, cold, empty hospital room surrounded by family and friends. Dave was shocked, sad, depressed, and scared all at the same time. A week went by and Dave still hadn’t come out of his room so I went to his house and dragged him out. I decided that the there was only one way to take his mind off of the situation, Ice cream. “Come on Dave you have to pull yourself together. Wanna go out for ice cream?” “No, bro I can’t eat” “Come on bro don’t be like that because sadly, one day you’re going to die too. So, Baskin Robbins or cold stone?” “Baskin Robbins” We had a long talk over our ice cream, I told him that he needs to change his prospective of life a little because people don’t live forever. I explained to him that I was just as shocked to see Kev, a boy, inside of a casket. It scared me knowing that I could be next or anyone around me but it also made me realize that if I am next, it’s not that bad. The End! Online Dating by Jacob Britton,12

“Jake, honey, your clothes are laid out on the bed please hurry before you’re late.” “Babe I told you that I didn’t need you to lay my clothes out today nor any other day, but thanks I appreciate a lot.” 79 “I just wanted to help.” “Well, Clair, you’ve helped enough”

Things haven’t always been this way between me and Clair. When we first got married it was like heaven on earth, like paradise, like a vaca- tion that I never wanted to end. She was the perfect wife, my queen, my heart, my everything and she even treated me like a king. I remember when I would look at her and the only thought that would go through my head was “This is too good to be true”, and eventually that thought became a reality. Our relationship began to go downhill about three years ago when we graduated high school and finally got an apartment together. At first everything was peaches and cream but then she admit- ted to cheating on me. Surprisingly I wasn’t shocked at all, I actually expected her to cheat, after all we have been together since we were freshmen. Of course I had to play along, I acted as if I were infuriated, I even punched a wall but that was actual anger. You see you can’t expect someone to be faithful forever in this generation, I just wish that she would have broken up with me and never told me anything. Maybe then I would have felt a little better, maybe I wouldn’t have felt so worthless. Somehow she managed to talk me into couples’ therapy and convinced me to stay with her, but like always, things took a turn for the worst. As soon as we were done with couples’ therapy the accusations began. Every time I came home from work she would smell me and begin throwing things around the house. You know, when people keep picking at some- thing eventually it will be gone. Well that’s what happened she kept up the arguments and I left, well not exactly. I tried to leave but then the unthinkable happened.

“Jake, I have something to tell you.” “Clair I told you that I accept your apology, I’m tired of your pity party, you need to just accept the fact that we’re done!” “I’m pregnant!” “What?” “I’m pregnant.”

My first instinct was to ask her who’s it was but that would have started world war III. I immediately packed my clothes and went back home where Clair had dinner prepared. Over dinner we talked for hours about our relationship and what each of us wanted to get out of life. That night she had a special glow to her, like a spotlight was shining directly on her and revived my love for her. “How could I not love her?” she was perfect yeah I knew that, but what I didn’t know was that she was crazy. Months went by with no bump in sight and she wasn’t regu- larly seeing the doctor which rose my suspicion. I called her:

“Clair are you really pregnant or are you fucking with me” “Oh my god, Jake how could you ask me something like that? Of course I’m pregnant!” “Well why aren’t you showing yet? Claire I’m not playing these child- ish games with you anymore, we’re done!” I went back to Toyas’ where she had dinner ready for me. That was one of the reasons I loved Toya, she cared. She always made sure I had something to eat and often brought food to my job, on top of that she was beautiful. She had dark, smooth, shiny skin the same color as a 80 milk chocolate Hershey’s bar that’d been slightly melted to give it a glow. Toya could be spotted from almost anywhere, she always wore profes- sional but slightly revealing clothes and bright colorful hair. She changed hairstyles almost every week, name a color, any color and its almost guaranteed that she had that shade of hair before. Besides her astonish- ing looks, she was a good person. Toya was very involved with the church and also founded her own non-profit organization which provided food to needy and homeless families. Besides all of these good things about her she, also had her drawbacks, she was extremely jealous and didn’t like me using social media. We would often have fights about me liking pictures of other girls on Ins- tagram and these arguments often led to a temporary break-up but we always got back together. Even though she had a couple of flaws I still loved her but I couldn’t be with her. I told her that I have a family now and that our relationship had to end and to my surprise she took it well. Months had passed since me and Toya talked and me and Claire’s relationship was finally on the right track, Claire was showing more than ever and the only thing we were arguing about was dinner. My life was going perfect until I received a call from a private number, it was Toya, she was pregnant. I didn’t know how I was going to tell Claire considering the fact that she was under the impression that I was 100% faithful to her. Anyway, she was the last of my worries, my biggest worry was getting a girl pregnant that I barely even knew; I mean sure I’ve seen her many times, and we’ve had many conversations, but our relation- ship was based on sex, sex and maybe gift buying. I didn’t want to start a family with a stranger especially knowing that the love of my life was going to be having my first kid. I offered Toya 500 dollars to “take care” of it but she happily declined my offer and began blackmailing me. She told me that if we didn’t have the kid then she would expose our affair to Claire. I told her that she didn’t have to do that because I already told Claire about our affair in couples’ therapy, but she didn’t buy it. She was crazy. She was crazy crazy. I phoned my brother to ask him for advice but I had no luck, I couldn’t get advice from anyone, it was so surreal. I had to handle this on my own. I “took care…..” she broke up with me through a text and left the country, she took the baby with her and told me to never talk to her again. I knew that it couldn’t be that easy, it had to be some strings attached. I kept thinking “It can’t be this easy, it can’t be”. It turns out it was she was really gone, finally. “I do!”, I couldn’t believe it, she actually said yes. Immediately she began planning everyday was something new. She wanted doves, flow- ers, lots of flowers, and hot wings she made sure that she emphasized hot wings. So I did it I threw the perfect wedding, it was everything she’d ever dreamed of and more. I decided to do an African themed wedding because Claire loved to get in touch with my roots. Everything was red, green, and black, even the cake. I bought her the most expensive dress in the store, deep red with diamonds lining almost every stitch, it was the shiniest dress I’d ever seen in my life and it hugged her body perfectly. Watching her walk down the aisle blew a fresh breath of life into my soul. She was beautiful, her long blonde hair was put so nicely into a bun, her bright blue eyes sparkling, looking directly into mine, and her dress, gosh her dress, it was like watching an hour glass full of diamonds move towards me. “Do you Claire Moore accept this man to be your husband?” 81 “I do” “And do you Jake Moore accept this woman to be your wife?” “I do” “You may kiss the bride” The kiss was magical, it seemed to last an hour. And that hour was filled with excitement, love, and claps, screams and whistles from everyone in the building. It was unbelievable, we made it, we were finally married. After the kiss we had our first dance, it felt like prom all over again, but highly intensified prom and then the impossible happened, her water broke. Chaos broke out as soon as water began to leak down her leg and onto the smooth hardwood floor and I immediately rushed her to the ER. 14 long hours later I met the second love of my life, my first born, Jake Neal Moore Jr. weighing just 5 lbs. and screaming to the top of his lungs. He was the prettiest baby I’d ever seen in my life, hazel eyes and soft curly hair, I thought I was dreaming. When we finally brought Jake Jr. home we looked at each other and consecutively said “I love you “. It felt like a fairy tale, everything was perfect, for a while at least and then guilt took a toll on me. After I fell in love with my first born JJ, it made me realize that he lost a sibling, a sibling he will never get to know all because of me. I also felt guilty knowing that I married the love of my life without telling her that I cheated and got another woman pregnant. But I couldn’t, I wouldn’t’ve been able to stand putting her through that amount of pain again. I promised her that that would be my last time ever hurting her, no I couldn’t tell her, so I didn’t and now I don’t know what to do Dr. Smith. “I think you should decide what you want to do, somethings are better left unsaid in order for a relationship to prosper, secrets are ok. If you want her to stay don’t tell her and I’m telling you this as a friend not your doctor”. The End! Father

by Jacob Britton, 12 No one really understands how it is to grow up how I did, fighting for food every night, struggling to find somewhere to sleep. You see grow- ing up with a single mother as the head of your household really limits your ability to be successful. Me, I promised myself and my mamma that I would be successful no matter what and that I would be a better man than my father, my father who I hated with a passion, the man that got my mom hooked on drugs and left us for dead. I hate thinking about him, he’s the reason I am the way I am to this day, watching him and his “family” on TV every day. What about us dad, huh, what about us? It is what it is you know, some things you just have to handle yourself and sometimes you can’t hurt people physically, you have to hit them where it really hurts, and as soon as I get a chance I will hit him where it hurts, he will pay for all the pain and suffering that he put me and my mom through. “King, you are such a handsome man! How are you liking your new job?” “It’s great mom, they’re talking about giving me a promotion and put- ting me on the board.” 82 “I’m so proud of you baby I can’t believe you grew up on me so fast. It’s like you were just in my arms and now you’re a fully grown man and I’d say I did a good job.” “Yeah ma I know you did a good job and I love you for it but I really have to get back to work so have a great day. I love you.” “I love you too baby. Have fun.” I never really told my mother which company I worked for but I was going to be on the board, I didn’t tell her because she is what we call a mega- Christian, meaning she is very religious and I didn’t know how she would react knowing that her only son went to school to be on the board of a hip-hop record label. But this was my dream job, this was all I ever wanted my whole entire life, to be on the board of Wolf Records Ent., run by the notorious wolf family, I couldn’t believe it was finally coming true. When Lester and Kandi told me I would be on the board I just about fainted I was going to be the first person on the board that wasn’t a part of the wolf family and they would finally be listening to my opinions. Our first task was to knock out our long-time rivals, West Coast Records and Titanic Records, this was easy I just simply dug up a few old tweets and did a couple of criminal background checks on the CEO’s and the rest handled itself. You see slandering was like a gift to me especially when I can slander someone’s name based on what they’ve already done; it was like breaking the law but not breaking the law if you know what I’m saying. Anyway with the rival competition gone it was time to knockout or new and emerging competition and I knew just how to do it but I told Lester that there was only one way I would and could do it, he had to make me his co-CEO. Reluctantly he agreed and this is where my plan was finally seeming to fall in place. You see Lester was so careless that he didn’t even do any research on our new, upcoming rival Payback Records because if he did, he’d know that I was the CEO of the company. Yeah, remember when I told you that my father left us to die while he started another family, a family that I was forced to watch on TV every day and wonder why, why he didn’t like us, why he decided to start a family with Kandi and neglect us, just why. I devoted my whole life to him in a way, I went to school so I could get on the board of Wolf records because technically I am a part of the Wolf family. I decided that I wouldn’t only destroy Wolf Records Ent., I would destroy Lester Wolf by letting the whole world know who he really was but first I had to con- vince the Wolf family to let me host their 25th anniversary show case. “Hey, Mr. Wolf, what’s been up with you? You’ve been kind of down lately.” “King, man I’ve just been stressed between the TV show and the show case I just don’t know what to do man.” “I mean I can help you out around here you know, I tell you what you just focus on the TV show and I’ll host the show case for you tonight.” “Nah man you can’t host you’re not a wolf man, you know that.” “Lester come on man, since when do you have to be a part of the Wolf family to host a show case, you and I both know that I’m one of the best promoters in Atlanta, so tell me what you wanna do.” “You know what man, your right, go ahead and host it but you better not mess this up man our future is depending on this.” “Alright I got you Lester man.” Later that day I had one of my close friends who just happened to work for the Washington Post do a story on the Wolf family, I paid 83 him to dig up as much dirt on them as he could and release it to every journalist in the area. My plan had finally fallen in place but I couldn’t be sloppy, I knew that Lester was a very dangerous man and was quick to lose his temper and I didn’t want him to hurt me, in private at least. I set up hidden cameras all around my office and released statement verify- ing Charles’ claims of Lester being a felon and illegally signing artists over to bigger labels. I’m no dummy, I knew that this would trigger him to attack me so I put on a show. As soon as he forced his way into my office the hell broke loose “King why in the hell did you do that? You just ruined my family and everything that we built.” “You see Lester that’s the fucking problem now, you think you got it all figured out man, you and your family will pay for..” My speech was cut short by a punch to the mouth, and that was followed by another punch and then by kicking and then by blood. He wouldn’t stop beating me. Did I fight back? No, I laid there and loved ev- ery second of it because with each hit he delivered he dug himself deeper into the hole that I dug for him. For it was all on camera I mean he had to know that he couldn’t produce an offspring without just a little bit of evil in it, but he was a different kind of evil, he was deadly. The beating continued for about 6 minutes before he left to go host the showcase but what he didn’t know was that not only was I recording, the beating was playing live for the whole world to see. When he walked into the show- case the whole crowd was silent, then the silence was followed by whis- pers and then by taunting. This was the moment I’d been waiting for my whole life, but I wasn’t done there was one final step. I played the video on the screen behind Lester and began my speech. “You see this man, Lester, he is my father. You probably didn’t know that because he got my mom hooked on drugs and eft us to die. Remem- ber, Lester, when you beat my mom and left her laying helplessly on the kitchen floor? You see I dedicated my whole life just to get to where I am now, just to ask why. Why did you leave us, what did we do to deserve the pain you put us through? You dint know do you? Well neither do I all I know is that no one as evil as you should be admired by anyone, you built your whole career off of a lie, you don’t give a damn about family, you only care about money and to your damn self. So hey “Dad” I’m King, your oldest son, you probably want to hit me again huh? He was silent, hi, his family, the audience, everything was silent except for me. For the first time in my life people where actually listen- ing to me, and I finally had the opportunity to tell the whole world how I really felt. After I finished my speech the police came and arrested Lester and shut down his showcase and sent a letter wo Wolf Records Ent. stat- ing that the company was under investigation. This was perfect because I purposely move all of the company’s top secret information to my flash hard drive and was more than willing to turn it over to the police. Weeks passed and the investigation was finally over, another letter was sent to the Wolf family affirming that their company has to be shut down due to the illegal trade of artists. This was amazing, not just because I wanted payback, but because the artists needed to have some sort of ides of what was going on with their careers. “King, I’m sorry man, but you have to realize you were a kid so you don’t know what really happened, you see I didn’t get your mother hooked on drugs she was already using and when I told her to slow down 84 she told me that she knew what she was doing. I beat her that day not because I didn’t like her or wanted the money that she owed me, but because she wouldn’t stop using and it hurt my heart knowing that she might kill herself. I didn’t even know you were my child she told me that your father was dead and that she didn’t need help raising you, I’m sorry man. Can you please forgive me?” “Lest... Dad I didn’t know all of that was going on man all I knew was that you were my father but you started another family and I just needed to know why and since I know why now, I guess I can forgive you. But now the question is can you forgive me?” “If you can get me out pf here then I can son” “Alright Dad I’ll get you out of here” A few months went by and I stopped hearing from him. Initially I thought that he was just neglecting me again but when I went to his house for a surprise visit he was gone, everyone was gone. I called his phone so many times that my phone went dead just to go home and see his face on the news. Kandi killed Lester because she didn’t like the fact that he had another kid.

photo by Joseph Moffat IV

85 The Swimmer by Joseph Moffat IV, 12 There was the sound of patting on tile alongside the pool. Hector sighed to himself. It wasn’t from exasperation, but rather in exhaustion. Or at least the anticipation of exhaustion. He stepped into the water. He had three years to go until it came, but he still believed that training himself to full extent was still necessary. The water was cold. Hector couldn’t remember a time he entered the water when it wasn’t cold. Well, except for the times when Hector had been in showers, baths, and hot tubs. He didn’t care for the warmth though. There was swimming to do. Hector pushed off the edge of the pool. He watched as bubbles seemed to fly past his goggles. He began his swim with backstroke style. It took him around fifteen seconds to reach the other side of the pool. When he reached the end of the twenty-five meter pool he summersaulted under- water and then pushed off the side of the pool again. This process contin- ued through the rest of the medley. First backstroke, then breaststroke, butterfly and lastly freestyle. For reasons unknown to him Hector found freestyle to be his favorite swimming style. Maybe it was because he felt it stretched his arms out the most. Maybe because it was easiest for him to take breaths when swimming. It didn’t matter, all that mattered was if he was fast when swimming with that type of style. And he was. When he finished the medley he got out and sat at on the edge. He inhaled and exhaled erratically. He was pretty sure he felt like this after every practice. He looked at his towel. He still should practice, but he was sure a five-minute break wouldn’t hurt him. He took off his goggles and stood up. Hector walked to the bottom middle of bleachers to where his towel was. It was yellow with a stripe at either end of the towel. He dried him- self off. Probably a bad idea to dry himself off before he was done, but

photo by Joseph Moffat IV 86 screw it he thought, I can deal with a slightly wet towel. He spread the towel on top of the bleacher bench and lied down. He set his watch for a five-minute timer. Hector stared at the ceiling of the indoor pool. He thought back to how hard it had been to get to where he was today. He wanted to be an Olympian ever since he was a child. He still hadn’t been in an Olympic sports event, but he was officially listed as an Olym- pian. Hector grew up in Chicago and at some point he and his family moved so that they would be closer to a pool in the city. His family was supportive in his quest to become an Olympian. He did notice that it af- fected them, but they were willing. Hector felt a drop of water hit his right cheek. He stood up quickly. A nearby swimmer just finished her lap and was beginning another. She made a wave accidently which sent the water droplet to Hector’s cheek. He smirked. Maybe it was God’s way of telling him to get back to work. He got up quickly and dove back into the water. He practiced for about an hour more. Hector thought he made a new personal record in breaststroke on twenty-five-meter length, so that meant he was improving he thought. He had goosebumps after he fin- ished. He changed into dry clothes then drove back home. He still lived with his family even though he was going to college because his home was a short distance from the college. He was thankful for that. When he pulled up his car Alex came up to greet him. “Hey, boy happy to see me?” Hector said as Alex violently wagged his tail. Alex’s brown fur stuck to his hand, but he didn’t mind. Alex was Chesapeake Bay Retriever and had brown eyes, the same color as his fur. “Okay Alex settle down. I need to head inside and so do you.” Hector threw his drawstring backpack over his shoulder and started towards the side door within the garage. As he was opening the door his sister jumped from beside the door to within half a meter of Hector lightly shouting “boo!”. Hector jumped back shouting “Holy crap!”. He clutched his hand to his chest in surprise. He recovered in seconds and then glared at the young woman who had frightened him. “Faith, I told you to stop doing that” he said in aggra- vated tone. “And I never said that I would do as you told me” she said while laughing hysterically and pointing a finger at him. Hector continued on through the kitchen. He spotted his mother set- ting the table and his father cooking dinner. He was making stir fry and rice. “Hey dad” Hector said while raising his hand in a wave. “Yo” his fa- ther said. “Look what the cat dragged in” said his mother. Hector didn’t stop on his advance through the kitchen and went to the stairs to go to the second floor to get to his room. After he had gone to his room he dressed himself. Hector remembered just how many times he had done this previously and smiled to himself. “The more things change the more they stay the same. There’s some comfort in that.” He thought to himself. He made his way downstairs quickly in the hopes of getting to the table before his mother began ringing her dinner bell like she had done for years when dinner was ready. He made it just moments before she started ringing the bell. He and his family said grace (prayers) and then started eating. Alex was underneath the table trying to look for any scraps to eat. Faith eating quickly and her father told her to stop eating such big pieces of food. Hector’s mother looked at Hector, hoping to start up a conversation. “So how was training?” she said. Hector looked up from his meal and 87 looked at his mother. “It was exhausting as usual, but otherwise fine.” His mother smiled at him. “Still can’t believe your qualified for the Olympics now.” She said with pride. Hector leaned back in his chair. “I can’t believe it either. It is taking time for my brain time to process the concept.” He said jokingly. “You did work hard for this and I’m proud of you for that.” His mother said. “Just know that in the years that follow I will support you.” She said. “Same hear” said his father. “I got your back, otherwise who else can I compete against?” said Faith. “You don’t have to tell me what I already know, but seriously thanks guys.” Hector said back to his family members. He knew it would be extremely hard in the coming three years, but he was up to the challenge. He had already endured so much just to get to his current standpoint. Years of exercise and self-evaluation on his swimming, lessons, financial problems were just some of the things that he and his family had to fight through. Through it all he had done his best to stay strong physi- cally, mentally, and spiritually. His dream to become an Olympic swim- mer which was almost impossible to achieve, but he actually did it and his family’s support was essential in achieving that goal. He was looking forward to setting new goals for himself. No matter what the future held, he would not waiver.

Hardships by Seth Harris,12 Chris wakes up bruised and sore from last night but he always seems to be fine and doesn’t let that bother him. He just wants that new 2K19 game like the typical 9th grader out of the Bronx. He watches basketball a ton a and it makes his day. His parents are usually, home but Chris, for some odd reason, always likes to keep his distance away from them. His thoughts are usually trapped in his head like clothes are trapped in the closet. He stayed in the worst part of town and just wanted to make it out to see better days and provide for his self. He hates hearing gunshots and watching the news and hearing about all the homicides that are go- ing on in his city. Chris would ride with his friend Jeff that trained him every chance he gets because he wanted and had dreams of playing in the NBA. Chris came home late that night. Seeing his mom and dad somewhat depressed him because it hurt seeing someone you love dearly go through as much as they do daily. Chris looked at his dad as his dad raised his voice at him and “told him why didn’t he do the dishes” Chris responds “I didn’t notice them in there” His dad put down his drink and raised his hand as if he was about to smack him but then Chris ran to his room and slammed the door hard and his mom yelled “ boy don’t you be slam- ming no doors in this house” Chris wasn’t only scared for his life but was also nervous because if he got caught by his dad his dad would beat him badly and he got sick and tired of being whooped on so he packed some clothes , jumped out of the window and went to Jeff’s house. Jeff stayed exactly down the street from him. Chris made it over and start banging on his door like he was some type of construction worker. Jeff ran to the door and quickly asked “ why are you here?” Chris re- sponded my dad has been tripping man and I need your help. Jeff looked at him for a minute and responded “I got you bro”. Chris was scared 88 to go back because he just doesn’t want his dad beating on him. There would be nights when Chris would be playing his game and his dad would come home smirk with his drink in his hand and stare at him and say” you just think you’re better than everyone huh? You would never be good enough to make it to the NBA” Chris and his dad just never really got along and his mom just sits there and watched it happens because Chris is scared to allow his mom to do something because he might hit her. Jeff asked Chris “what’s really going on bro”? Chris looked at him and suddenly a rush of tears ran down his face and Chris said, “I’m tired of not having a regular family I just want to spend time with my mom and dad and live a great happy life but that will never happen because they hate me so much” Jeff looked at him and said” they don’t hate you bro I promise you they don’t, they are just going through rough times right now and I know things are getting harder on you but they will get better bro I promise you that”. That next day school seemed as if he had 24 hours with no sleep, Chris couldn’t focus but the only thing that was on his mind was seeing his parents again and how would they react when

they see him and what are the consequences from running away from home. After school he immediately went to the gym and got over 1,000 shots up with Jeff. Jeff believed in this kid and knew he had potential to go way beyond college ball with basketball and possibly go to the league. He sees the hunger in his eyes to be great like a lion does before he feasts on its prey. He also noticed that Chris was somewhat a big 9th grader standing 6’3 and weigh about 185lbs. 89 After they finish their training up Jeff looked at Chris and said “you’re going to be just fine bro but you need to go home and let them know you’re still alive and not dead on these streets”. Chris got home around 8:30 pm and realized he left his house, key at Jeff’s house so he couldn’t just burst in and go to his room, he was going to be noticed and that’s something he didn’t want to do because the consequences his dad may give him. Chris banged on the door three times and his dad answered with a deep and mean tone “who the hell is it?” Chris replied “it’s me, Chris”. As soon as he said Chris the door swung open and he grabbed Chris by one hand while he had his bottle of vodka in the other and he looked at Chris and said “so you think you real tuff showing up to my house after what you did yesterday I ought of kill you boay, you no good in anything you do.” Chris was so scared then he seen his momma come out the room and said “put my baby down fool” Then his dad released him slowly and whispered in his ear, “next time you try to run away I will kill you myself. Chris ran to his room as fast as he could with tears rushing down his face. He was worried about his consequences but he didn’t think it would be this harsh. His mom came in his room to talk to him about what just happened and she told him “I understand you and your dad are not on the best of terms but just try to keep your cool”. Chris responded back “I try to but it just seems like he hates me and I could never do right by him, I am a complete screw up” His mother responds “don’t say that baby, just be- cause me and your dad aren’t on good terms doesn’t mean things won’t get better he just doesn’t know how and when to put that bottle down he’s a total alcoholic”. After she said that his mom left the room, Chris sat and thought about living a better life, becoming rich, and providing for his family. So he continued to dream and dream to hopefully make it to the NBA one day. On his way to school that next day he seen a sheet that had stated that their first basketball game was in three weeks. He called Jeff and told him that the schedule dropped and wanted to make sure he was at all his games because he was his trainer. Jeff is 19 and always knew Chris because they were cousins, he also spotted the potential he had at a very young age watching him grow up playing basketball so this first high school game he couldn’t miss because it was the start of something new. Chris had practice from 2:30 to 4:30 and would leave by 7:30 because he would always want to get up some extra shots with Jeff. Chris had a mindset of, if I want to be great I will have to work like and separate myself from the average because being average wasn’t going to get him to the league. That night after a long days of work he came home and seen his dad washing the dishes and told him that he will wash them and he could go lay down. His dad looked at him belched and said “you finally doing something with your life for once boay, I guess I gave you some good advice punk. Chris tried so hard not to snap on him but he just kept his composure and remembered everything his mom told him. His mother heard what was going on and just shook her head. Chris never could understand how one man could hate a kid so much and what makes it worse is that that’s his own child. It was Saturday and the weekend was finally here but Chris looked at that as another opportunity to get better so he called up his trainer to get some work in. They were at the park for about 2 hours just working on ball handling, shooting, and passing. After the drills were over Jeff pulled Chris to the side and asked him how was home and are things getting better or worse. 90 Chris looked at him and said “nothing really has got better but nothing has really got worse, I talked to my mom the other day and she seems to understand what’s going on which helped me out a lot because I felt like everything that was going on was my fault but she broke down the basics and told me that my father is an alcoholic and that made me realize that there is really nothing I could do to make him understand me or stop him from always getting mad at me”. Jeff replied “invite your mom and your dad to your upcoming game and let them see you and the passion you have for this game. Chris thought about how that would be such a good idea, his mom and dad didn’t make much money so they were always working and they hardly ever could make his games. The last time he asked them to come to one of his games when he was around 8 years old and he was playing in the championship and hit the game winner and his mom and dad were so proud of him. Chris thought about how he wants memories like that back so he made sure that he was going to let them know this game be- cause it would be his first basketball game in high school and as a start- ing point guard. Chris went home that night and was somewhat excited to tell his parents about this game that he has in two weeks. They’re at the dinner table and Chris blurts “mom and dad I want you guys to come out to my basketball game” His mom asks “when is it Chris, you know I be out here working baby” Chris said “not this Tuesday but next Tuesday” His mom and his dad both looked at each other and said yes. Chris was thinking in his mind that he really had to do good to impress his family. Chris was in his room just thinking how would life be if he had a brother or sister because he doesn’t have anyone he could tell his secrets to. After school that day he went to practice but something was different from the usually because Jeff would have been watching him practice but he wasn’t. After practice Chris waited an additional hour just because he thought Jeff would be running behind. He tried calling but it went straight to voicemail, he knew something was up so he left the school and went to Jeff’s house but Jeff wasn’t there and Chris started freaking but then again he thought that maybe he went out with his family, or he was just extremely busy so Chris just went home. As soon as he got in the door his mother and father was standing there with some concerns on their face, Chris asked “what’s wrong?” his mother responded “baby it’s about Jeff” Chris voice scattered saying “is he going to be alright” His mother shook her head slowly with tears rolling down her face as she said “he was gunned down leaving his house on his way to your practice”. Chris couldn’t believe what he just heard, he collapsed to the floor crying as hard as possible, His dad and his mother surrounded him with all hugs “ it’s going to be okay”. Chris went to his room and couldn’t sleep, all he could think about was the countless hours in the gym shooting around and training that they did together. Chris always believed in his dream and believed that he could make it to the NBA, even outside of basket- ball Jeff was the brother that Chris always wanted. If there was anything that had to be discussed or he had any questions he would run to Jeff. With Jeff being gone Chris felt completely empty. That Monday Chris skipped school to go to Jeff’s funeral, Chris was heartbroken seeing someone you love so much like brother just leave you without saying any last words to him. Their last memory was in the gym shooting tons of shots trying to get prepared for the season. Chris walked up to Jeff’s body in the casket and looked at him and told him 91 “I won’t let you down” with tears falling down his face he slowly walked away from him for the last time. Chris mother and father were really sad too but they were somewhat surprised that Chris was holding on strong and keeping his composure. Immediately after they left the church Chris told his parents he was going to the park. Chris went to the park and did the same drills that him and Jeff would do and he was there from morning until night time. He shot the ball so much his hands were red. A lot of ways he expressed his emotions was through football so going park helped him out a lot. When Chris got home his dad told him to come here, his dad said “I know you’re going through a lot right now with losing Jeff and I just wanted to man up and let you know I am sorry for treating you the way I have been lately, I will try my best to leave the drinks alone because I understand when that gets in my system I can act a lot different but if you need anything you know I’m here and I love you boay” Chris re- sponded “I love you too dad and thanks for being here for me. His dad responded” oh yeah make sure you ball out Tomorrow because I will be there”. It was game day and he went to school quiet for the most part but he was completely ready for the game the end of the day bell rang and he rushed for the school locker and placed headphones on and just listened to music for a little bit until it was time to go warm up. All he could think about was Jeff and what would he say to him before a game. It was time to head out and Chris was ready, in warmups Chris was dunking everything and making every shot. It was time for tip off and Chris wore number #19 to always remem- ber Jeff and that was also his age before he died, Chris looked around and saw his parents in the stands which amped him up even more. The ref looked around and said “you boys ready?” they all responded with yeah! And he threw the ball up. Chris team won the tip off and he came down the court on the opening possession and drained a 3 and the crowd roared! It was a dog fight for the most part of the game until it came down the wire with 10 seconds left and the game being tied with the ball in Chris hands. Chris did a dribble move to make a defender fall then he pulled up from deep then the buzzer sounded with the ball going nothing but net! The crowd went crazy and he yelled out as the crowd rushed the court “that was for you jeff”. Later on that night his mom and dad treated him to dinner and they told him that he had a surprise when he got home, when he got home it was the brand new 2k19 he always wanted he looked at them and said “you guys are the best parents ever” His mom looked at him and said “I hope it ain’t because I bought you that game” and they all laughed out loud. When Chris went back to school that Monday people was congratulat- ing him on his game and his game winning shot he didn’t know how to act because he was just a freshmen receiving attention from people he didn’t know but he made sure to stay humble because they only played one game. And he also plans to win several games. Chris went to practice and told the boys on his team to stay humble because if they get cocky they could lose a lot of others. Even though Chris was one of the young- est on that team he always gives more than enough, he is starting to be a leader and they will really need him this game as they the number one team in the state. Chris wasn’t scared it was just the fact that most of these guys where division 1 athletes and there was this one kid that was 6’10 and he was unbelievably good. It seemed like everything he shot he 92 made because he desires to drive, dunk, and even shoot! Coach believed Chris was the best defender on the court so he wanted him to guard him because coach told the team that I was the best on-ball defender on this team and even in the state. At practice that day he made Chris guard the biggest guys on the court so when it is gamtime Chris would be used to guarding the biggest players on the court. That night before the big game Chris went up to the park where him and Jeff would always hang out and shoot shots, he shot so much that night that the net fell off so now every time that he shoots and bangs the inside. He stopped for a minute and looked around then he believes talking to Jeff when he is alone actually helps him with any- thing that is going on because he happens to look back at all the good times and that’s what helps him get through the day. Chris got home all drenched in sweat as if he went to six flags and he is just getting off of hurricane harbor, Chris took a shower, ate dinner then went to sleep. He woke up exited as ever because he knew today was a big game and he had to make sure his team was prepared to go to war. When Chris got to school he was excited but also a little nervous because he knew this game was going to bring the whole city out like no other. He talked to himself and wanted to remain humble through the test and make sure he doesn’t let his teammates down, when he thought of this game it was similar to David and goliath because this school was always the underdogs and they were not always the good team but when Chris got to the school a lot of things changed so there was a lot of things different but they were better for the good. After last period everyone went to grab something to eat but Chris had his special lunch that he had before every game, a simple peanut butter and jelly sandwich with a white cherry Gatorade. This has been a tradition ever since he was a kid. An hour later he texted hos teammates and told everyone to come to the locker room and when they arrived he had to tell them something. He said to his time “everybody bring it up” and the team looked around and slowly approached him, when they did they heard some words of encouragement from him saying “ I know everyone in the State doesn’t believe we can beat this team but that’s fine because we don’t need the fans we just need the 12 guys that we go to war with every day at practice, nobody knows what happens between closed doors and all the hard work we put in when nobody is looking, they will never understand and this game I want yall to bring everything yall got and a little more because that’s what it is going to take” Every- one looked around and started going crazy because those words just lit the team up like a light during a match. It was game time and the teams were heading out of the locker rooms and getting ready for warm ups. The stands were extremely packed and the atmosphere was unbeliev- ably insane. Chris looked excited but he also seen the fear in some of his teammates as they were looking at the other guys warm up and watch- ing everybody dunk even their shortest teammate which was 5’9 through a pass to himself and wind milled and it grabbed the crowds attention because what 5’9 kid WINDMILS! That just proved the team and how it was filled with extreme athleticism. It was time for the game to start and Chris was very excited and scared of absolutely. He looked over and saw his mom and his dad which surprised him because most of the time they usually can’t make it because they’re us usually working, so he knew it was time to handle business. It was ready for tip off and Chris’s team got the ball first, so he looked and grabbed the ball. The first play of the 93 game he calls “50 low” which was an isolation between him and his de- fender because he knew that he could not guard him. Everyone widened out and watched Chris, Chris did a dribble move forward then imme- diately snatched the ball right back and when he did that the defender nearly hit a split then Chris pulled up for the three and made it! The

crowd went crazy, not only did it create great momentum for the team but it was an awesome play. They came down and made a sharp pass to the middle then quickly dished outside to tie the game. Chris came down the court then passed the ball to his teammate Jake, Jake went to the lane and got blocked off of the backboard then they came down and some kid pulled of an amazing two handed windmill dunk. Chris’s team called timeout and coach told them “stop rushing things! Ball will come just move around I know this is one hell of a team but we are too now let’s act like it” . That play Chris came down the court and decided to run the play before which was “50 low” after he said that his team seemed somewhat mad at him because it just felt like he was being selfish and calling all the plays for himself, Chris continued to run it even though he missed the three they lobed it down the court to only hit another three pointer. The looks of their faces said it all, it seemed as if they gave up on the game even though it just started. Halftime came up and they was down by 20. Chris walked in the locker room and completely lost his mind. “what the hell is going on out there! It’s like yall don’t even want to play no 94 more”. Tommy replies “You just care about your damn self and mak- ing highlights, you keep running this damn isolation just so you can do a pretty dribble move and shoot a fancy three or layup” Chris looked around and it was dead silent but before Chris went off on Tommy the coach shot in like a bat from hell yelling “hey now we don’t need no negativity like that on this team and especially while we playing this game” Everyone just paused and hung their heads. Chris never had a thought he was being selfish by calling 50 low because he felt that he had a defender on him that couldn’t guard him so he wanted to take advan- tage of that but everyone else wanted to shine as well as he did so they felt left out and somewhat not a part of the team. That second half was a reflection of the first half and the team went crumbling into pieces and losing by 35 points. Chris went home without saying bye to the team and shaking the other teams hand. After the game he saw one of the guys that they played against and he just started laughing at him, Chris looked at him and said “We’ll see yall again”. He got in the car with his mother and dad and didn’t say a word, Chris’s mother said “baby you not hone get in my car and just not say a word to me, now tell what’s going through your mind” Chris replied “I’m sorry mom the team just really made me mad tonight and they had the nerve to call me self- ish” Chris’s dad responded “why they say that” Chris responded slowly “because I kept running this play called 50 low where there is an isola- tion between me and my defender and I felt as if he couldn’t guard me so that play worked best because everyone else was missing their shots and I knew for a fact I wasn’t going to miss as many shots as them”. Chris’s Dad responded to that by saying “that’s where your wrong at son, you can’t always design a certain play just for yourself just because you feel as if it is the right play or the right thing to do because basketball is a team sport, now I am not saying it isn’t okay to run your own plays but you have to get the other guys involved to” Chris thought about what he said for a second and responded with “yea dad you’re right”. Chris went home and just thought to himself and wondered how could I be so selfish and cost us the game like that, he slept on it and went up to the park that next day to go get some shots up before they had prac- tice. When he got their nobody wanted to talk to him but he knew why, he waited to everybody got in the locker room to say this “hey listen up I just want to apologize to every single one of yall for my selfishness last game and that’s not me at all I am a better player and person and I promise yall once we get this together we will see them again at the state championship” The team had a bunch of grins on their faces and clapped as they feel like a better team and built more chemistry. After that short speech their coach yelled “now let’s have a hell of a practice” This was one of their best practices yet and they felt confident about their next game. Game day arrived and Chris felt a lot better about the team and he believes they’re a better team and he also learned from his mistake not to be selfish again. That game the whole team played like paper because they were all on the same page! Chris finished with 30 points, 10 re- bounds, and 15 assist. That confidence and speech he told helped them out big and they just kept rolling winning 33 straight which set a school record for most wins in a regular season finishing 33-1. It was time for the state championship game against the arch rival Colgate High. That week of the game tons of reporters came in and wanted to talk to the star freshman Chris Harris, the reporters asked him “how do 95 you feel about this state game after losing by 35 points from the last time you played these guys” Chris responded “I approach this game like no other and I feel great about playing this game because we fixed a ton of things after that game and we have been on a role since then” the report- ers asked “how do you have so much leadership out there at this young age?” Chris responded “I feel that it doesn’t matter about age when it comes to leadership, at a young age I was taught to be mature and ever since my cousin slash trainer died I viewed the world a lot different. The reporters said “well that’s all from the Brooklyn news crew”. Chris had a lot of believers and haters and he just remained humble through the process and continued to do him and play basketball the way Jeff taught him and be the man His mother and father believed him to be. The day before the game Chris went to the same park like always and just shot around for a few, he stopped for a second and talked to Jeff out-loud in pacing back and forth on the court saying “man can you believe it Jeff, your boy is one game away from being a state champ I still thank God every day for him putting you in my life because without you showing me there us other ways in this world to being successful other than the crack heads out here and the drug dealers I don’t know what I would be doing in this world man, I just wish you was here and at this game tomorrow with me and I know you will be there tomorrow in spirit, until then big bro peace out love you”. After that Chris went home took a shower ate dinner then went to sleep. Chris woke up Saturday morning knowing it was game day and it was time for him to win a state championship not only for the school but for his family and Jeff. He got on the bus and played his music getting into a deep thinking zone from the ride there until it was game time. The coaches brought food for the boys but Chris denied and ate his peanut butter and jelly with the white cherry Gatorade. Chris told his team- mates before walking out of the tunnel “remember what they did to us last time and don’t let it happen again!” Everybody nodded their heads and went to go warm up, as he was warming up he seen the same guy that laughed at him last time and he looked at him and started clapping his hands and shaking his head up and down yelling let’s go! It was time for the tip off and Colgate High got the ball Chris pressured the ball and got the steal and dunked it on the first possession, the crowd roared and Chris fed off of that. Colgate came down and tried to go up for a layup and Chris blocked it off the backboard then threw a dime to a team- mate that was on fast break and he dunked on a defender and got fouled Chris yelled “and one”. They were up 5-0 in the first 20 seconds of the game but Colgate came down and hit two threes’ back to back to make it 6-5. The game went back and forth through 4 quarters and it even went into overtime. It’s Colgate ball tied 75-75 with 10 seconds left and on the inbound Chris gets a steal then immediately calls timeout. Chris asked his coach “what play should we run coach” His coach replied “you got the hot hand tonight Chris you end this game for us…run 50 low” Chris looked around to make sure everyone agreed and they all did so he responded with “I won’t let yall down”. On the inbound Chris gets the ball and quickly drives hard to the rim and goes up strong and dunks all over the defender and the buzzer sounded and that was ballgame! The same guy he dunked on was the same guy that laughed at him when they lost by 35 points. Everyone was extremely happy and Chris dropped to his knees and said “thank you Lord, this was for you Jeff”. Chris wasn’t only happy to be a state cham- 96 pion but to bring the first state championship back to his school. Some reporter asked him after the game “what do you have to say to the people out there?” Chris responded “no matter how hard things may seem and even if you fail just keep working and I promise you, you will come out on top!” Homecoming Disaster by Seth Harris,12 He saw her from the bottom of the stairs before she saw him. He didn’t know what to do or say, he has been wanting to ask her to home- coming for the last week but he has been afraid to. Homecoming is in 3 weeks and he needs to make his move on Andrea before it’s too late. She was mixed with Arab and Indian she was around 5’0 even with long curly hair with beautiful dimples on both sides of her cheeks she also had black hair with blue eyes. She was by far the prettiest girl in the school. Jacob was the average Joe, he didn’t participate in any school sports but he always attended the games and even dressed up as the school mascot at times. He often got in trouble for trying to substitute the class. He was a very confident kid and believed he could do anything he put his mind to so he couldn’t wait to ask Andrea to homecoming. They had 3 classes together and talked a few times throughout the day, but every day he noticed the things she liked. She would wear the color pink a lot and she always had some starburst and only ate the pink ones. So Jacob started to get an idea of what he wanted to do for her surprise gifts. That night he went to the store and bought a pink poster, pink starburst, and pink tape. He went home with a masterplan and only a few knew what he was doing that next day and those were his friends Seth and Collin. Seth was a captain on the football team and he was also unbelievably strong and Collin was a basketball player that could jump out the gym. Then. agree ext. day he rushed to his locker and made sure nobody seen this extremely big poster. He put it up fast and began to wonder the school. After the first he classes he got a shock of adrenalin, only because he gets to See Andrea this class period. Jacob kept thinking to his self, should I ask now or later? He just waited till the end of the day to give it to her. He saw her from the bottom of the stairs before she saw him, it seemed like déjà vu he had the poster that he worked all night on and rushed down the steps. He yelled “Andrea” she turned around slowly while everyone slowed their pace down as they saw him approaching her with this huge pink poster filled with pink starburst and it read “You’re a star so can you burst your way to homecoming with me” After she read it her eyes lit up as it was the fourth of July. She paused for a second and gave Jacob the biggest hug ever and said the magic word yes. His friends Seth & Collin came over to dap him up and amp him up. Andrea asked him “you picked out my favorite color and favorite candy. “How did you know? Jacob replied “I just got lucky”. Jacob soon asked for her num- ber and she gave it to him with some excitement on her face. Later on that day He got home and couldn’t wait to tell his mom & dad. He walks pass their room and said “I can’t wait to tell you guys this story so he 97 waits till dinner to let it all out, while he is telling the story his dad yells “he’s a lady’s man” with a huge smile on his face as if he just won lotto. As he goes to school that next day everyone is looking at him like he’s a million bucks. Jacob somewhat seems like he is the center of attention for some odd reason. Then he sees Andrea and suddenly gets a adrenalin rush and as he approached her she seemed a little upset and told Jacob that they should talk later because its important. Jacob went through the whole school day wondering what the issue could be, was it because he was too nerdy, or is it because she has a loss of interest of going to homecoming with him. Later that day around 7:30 he calls Andrea to find out what the issue really is. “hey Jacob” “Hey Andrea, so what is it that you had to tell me?” “You want the good new first or the bad news first?” “Bad news first” “Well I’m moving” “Where to?” “California” “When are you moving and are we still able to go to homecoming together” “Umm about that, I’m sorry to break it you but I can’t and today was my last day” “damn I really wanted to go with you but I understand have fun down in Cali” “I know and I’m sorry for the late notice because I just found out but thanks bye” “Bye” Jacob was beyond mad because he already bought his clothes and shoes for homecoming, he thought about taking them back to get his money but he lost all of his receipts he also popped all the tags on the clothes so he couldn’t take it back even if he wanted to. So he was some- what forced to homecoming by himself. He couldn’t wait to tell Collin and Seth that next day the news he heard, that next day he ran into them before he walks into and couldn’t wait to tell them news. Jacob: “So guess who doesn’t have a date anymore” Collin: “wait a minute” Seth: “you got to be kidding me dude” Jacob: “yea man she’s moving to Cali and I wish I would’ve knew be- fore she said yes I wouldn’t had bought all that homecoming stuff” Colin: “you can easily just take that back bro” Jacob: “I lost all my receipts and popped all the tags already” Seth: “That’s real smart” Collin: “what’s your GPA again?” They continue to joke around for a few before the bell rang and it was time to go to homeroom, that whole day Jacob couldn’t stop thinking about who could take to homecoming because want to go over all of this poster making and asking again. So he decided that he will go by himself. That next week Jacob heard some strange news that Andrea never left St. Louis to go to California she just transferred schools. He was shook but at the same time he tried to brush it off that she just lied to him about something. … Homecoming night was finally here, Jacob couldn’t wait any longer to 98 look all good and have the time of his life. He was ready to go; his outfit was the cleanest. He wore a nice black Gucci button up with a suit that would top it, he also wore this black dressing pants with a black Gucci belt & shoes to finish it. The only thing Jacob was missing in this situ- ation was a date. It was time to g but before he left his mom took tons of pictures of him yelling “that’s my baby” with the biggest smile ever. After that he was dropped off in front of the school where he looked and seen tons of people including his friend Collin. As soon as Collin seen him he couldn’t believe how fresh he was, Jacob by far was the best dresser. Jacob asked Collin, “have you seen Seth?” Collin looked around as some- thing was fishy then replied with, “not at all”. Jacob and Collin start to walk in the gym and suddenly see’s Andrea with Seth and he completely lost it. He started to approach Seth as if he was in a marching band and when he got to him he asked him “what’s your problem bro?” Seth was shocked and really couldn’t 99 say nothing but “I’m sorry bro I didn’t know you was coming after you found out she transferred “then Andrea interrupts their conversation to say “Jacob I am truly sorry I shouldn’t have lied about moving states, it’s just that you did all that decoration and had that cool poster who wouldn’t want to say yes?” Jacob was heated he told her “ it is really true that the evilest girls have the prettiest face, and you should have just kept it real with me and told me you didn’t want to go with me from the start after I asked you, but there was no point of you lying to me and showing up with somebody that was my friend” he also told Seth “how are you supposed to be my bro but take the date I’ve been desperately wanting you are not bro anymore not even a friend” then Seth quickly turned towards Collin told him “ stay away from me to, because you knew this whole time what was going on and didn’t say anything or no- tify me nothing! I’m glad this happened tonight because I got to find out who my real friends are…No one!”. Jacob was mad most of his night but not only did this teach him a lesson it also made him a better person and made him pick his friends wisely. Jacob moved on and never was friends with Collin and Seth again because it made him realize that your closest friends can be your worst enemies. He sat in his room that night just thinking because Seth knew he really liked so why would he do such a thing and Collin did to so why wouldn’t he stop him from doing such a selfish deed? Jacob told his mom what happened that night and she told him “baby boy I know she was mad when she seen how clean you was when you walked in that building” Jacob replied “that’s not the point mom it’s the fact that she could’ve just told me she didn’t want to go with me after I asked her out in front of the whole school!” his mom answered “ I know that could be embar- rassing son but you have to realize everyone isn’t your friend and some people just love the spotlight” Later on that night he got a text from Andrea saying “I am so sorry about tonight, I didn’t think you was going to show up after you heard that I was moving please forgive me. Then he got a text from Seth saying “aye bro I’m sorry about tonight I should’ve told you about what I was doing tonight, hit me up when you see this” and last but not least he got one from Collin saying” bro I knew this was going to happen but am ashamed of myself for not taking full credit and owning up and telling you what they was doing behind your back but I didn’t know how to break it down to you so please hit me up when you can”. Jacob knew they were not his real friends and real friends wouldn’t do him like that so he ignored every single message that he received that night took a deep breath then went to sleep.

100 Grown Up by Brendan Koch, 12 Billy walked into school, negligently slinging his back pack around like it was a bag of leaves. He carried the weight of his phone in his right pocket and his wallet among other things. He held his back pack strap in his left hand. He carried his body like an Egyptian ruler. His wide shoul- ders pointed outwards like arrows, and his face carried a sore stare that put Medusa to shame. He carried most of his books - as if it mattered. He gathered high fives from other students in the hall way. This was perhaps the only time he looked up from his phone and made eye contact with others around him. He strolled around the school as if he was lost, although he had no reason to be. It was almost as if he had no concept of time. He always carried around useless things that he treated like gold. He caressed his Apple Air pods as if they were his very own child; for he gave them more respect than he gave his teachers. He made safe the flash drive in his left pocket, of which he occasionally took out gently and pressed up to his lips behind his cuffed hands. He carried around his FortNite machine, that he occasionally used to do his homework as well. He’d never taken high school seriously. His father decided to send him to an all-boys Catholic high school because he believed that the education was better than that of the other public schools in Manchester. His school was named De Smet Jesuit High School. Despite it being a Catholic school, it was never really that strict. It was almost as if the teachers favored him because he was an asshole. He would always die laughing in the middle of class. Most people never knew why. It was hard to dictate. It simply occurred to him that he had to take control of every situation and turn it into something that wasn’t so boring. He did his homework some of the time. It really depended on if he felt like it or not. Him and his friends would often take turns doing home- work. They would switch off depending on who had done it last. This would always cause arguments amongst them, but they couldn’t argue with the results. The teacher, more often than not, never noticed a thing when they did so. Billy had some standards though. He tried to shoot for B’s, but he never tried to too hard. He was always at the very least a reasonable person. I’ll give him that. He always used the things in his life as a way to heighten his image. It was all a disguise. He disguised himself with his veil of invincibility with every step that he took. He used it as a way to sneak past confrontation. It was a charade. He believed that confidence was the way to get through anything. The average person interpreted his confidence as cockiness. In his mind, however, being “confident” was simply prolonging his success in the game of life. All it was for him was a game. A stupid, competitive game. It wasn’t all his fault though. His father instilled these values into him at an early age. He always told him that he had to be the best. Billy was placed into every single sport when he was growing up. He played soccer, football, basketball, and baseball consistently throughout all of grade school. As soon as Billy got to high school though, he never wanted to play sports. He didn’t even want to try out for any. He knew he could make the team in just about any sport, but it all just began to disinter- est him. Billy was always naturally athletic, but he was never the best 101 at what he did. Of course, his father never was able to accept this as the truth. Whenever Billy did something good in one of his games, it was never about how good he did. His father took it into his own hands to make sure that everybody knew that that was his son. One might think that he was simply proud of his son’s achievements or that he was supporting him and cheering him on. This was never really the case. Whenever he said things like, “That’s my son”, it was always under the notation that he owned him. It was as if he believed that Billy owed it to him because he brought him into this earth. He took a sense of pride and self-worth through Billy’s achievements. But as soon it was just him and Billy, he rarely pointed out the good things Billy did. It was as if he could never do anything right. He would always give him constructive criticism even when his team won, even when Billy played very well. His father also paraded “strong” Catholic beliefs. He used his faith for all the wrong reasons however. There was no doubt that he believed

photo by Paul Bytnar, 12 in God, but it was apparent that he saw God in the most twisted and distorted way possible. God was a tool to make him look good. He never truly felt sorry for anything he did because in his eyes he could never be wrong. If he did feel sorry, it would be pity on himself, and with never a sense of remorse for what he had done. He felt above everybody else because of his beliefs, and somehow no one saw right through it. Billy himself never really knew what to believe. He went through his life not questioning nor accepting that there was a God. He just went through the motions. At De Smet, they had prayer two times a day. There were times where he thought to himself if his prayers were ever really going anywhere besides thin air. Billy never forgot about his mother. She left when he was ten years old. Memories of her haunted him. He always remembered her soft, gentle voice and how she would do whatever she could to protect him. He al- ways had flashbacks of one night when his mom was still in the picture. “Daddy, I’m tired, can we go inside yet?” Billy said. 102 photo by Jay Dolan, 12 “No buddy, not yet. You got fifty more balls to hit. C’mon now,” replied his father, tossing another pitch. Then, the front door opened, as his mother came to check up on them. “Hey, how’s it going guys? You’ve been out here a long time. Don’t you guys want to take a break at all?” she said. “Mommy, I’m tired. I just wanna go inside, but daddy said I had to hit the ball fifty more times,” he cried to his mother. His father said nothing. He actually looked at the ground as Billy told her what had happened. “What?” she responded, looking at her husband harshly as she stood there. “Well, what do you want me to say?” He paused, looking at her, almost trying to make her feel bad for her even questioning his motives. “Huh?” he continuing to gaze at her with questioning looks. “He’s gotta learn hard work if he ever wanna a chance at being the best,” he argued. “Babe, why is it always about being the best? It’s about his well-be- ing. He’s seven years old. You two have been out here for two hours. He’s practiced enough for the day,” she responded. Billy ran off and sat next to the garage, crying at this point. “AGHHH, DON’T YOU DARE CRY ON ME, BOI,” his father shout- ed at Billy from across the yard. “Hold, on boi, you stay out here. Me and your mother have some things to settle. When I come back outside, you better not be crying, you hear me? Or you’re gonna get it? MEN DO NOT CRY! Unless you wanna be a—? “ “Mike, STOP IT RIGHT NOW! Do you even care about your own son’s wellbeing? You’re scaring him, and you’re scaring me. Please stop,” she replied, getting choked up as she saw how their son had been af- fected. “Let’s settle this inside, why don’t we?” his father rebutted, his vocal inflection changing to an eerily calm one. He ran towards the door. She tried to close it on him, but she didn’t have time. She didn’t know how to react in a situation like this. She wanted to run. She wanted to call the police. She wanted protect Billy. All she knew was that she feared for her 103 life. He grabbed the door, and pushed it on her, while she tried her hard- est to close it. The force from the blow he sent on the door knocked her down to the ground. “Get up, bitch,” he said to her. He closed the door behind them, and locked it. Billy sat there, silently crying with complete pity for his mother. All he could hear from the outside was muffled screaming and plates being broken. It was amazing how such a violent domestic dispute was caused by something so stupid, yet so important at the same time. About an hour later Billy’s father came back outside with an odd smirk on his face. He smelled a little bit different too, but Billy didn’t know what it was. “Is mommy okay?” he sniffled. “Yeah, she is just perfect right now. She agreed with me that you need to hit fifty more balls before we go back inside,” he responded. “She did?” he said. “Yeah, yeah, she sure did. Alright champ, you just got a little bit more to go.” They were out there for a lot longer than they should have been because his father couldn’t seem to toss the ball in a straight and centered line. They lived in Manchester. Manchester was a small city located in the West County suburbs of the city of St. Louis, Missouri. Amongst the area were small starter homes. It was a pretty neighborhood, a decently small one however. None of the houses were exactly the same. The house Billy grew up in was a small ranch home. It was constructed out of old brick. It wasn’t the cleanest and most uniform looking home. None of the bricks were exactly the same, and there was no exact pattern in how they were laid out. The driveway was coated in a roughly paved asphalt. The home presented a rough landscape. Guarding the front of the house were 3 Bar- berry bushes, sitting on a bed of mulch. It might once have been nice; it might once have been the home of an actual family. But scrub and weeds now covered the yellowed lawn, which clearly hadn’t been cut in months. It was always quiet. Everybody lived in their own little world. This was maybe for the better, or for the worse. It was perceived by most as a relaxing environment, coffee on the deck in the morning, just sitting, listening to the sounds of serenity. Truthfully, these walls were deceptive, a beautifully imperfect façade filled with lies and pain. Billy always remembered the first time he was beaten by his father for his lack of motivation. It was the end of the first semester, junior year. “See you boys some- time during break”, he announced to his friends. “Alright, yeah. See ya bro,” responded his friend Jack, along with the other mumblings and goodbyes he received from the rest of the crowd. “The boys” as he often called them always resided in THEIR spot in the school parking lot. I al- ways saw them chilling there, wondering if they had anywhere to go more than I did. They all took forever doing whatever they wanted, simply to waste away the day; distracting themselves from the tediousness of life. After receiving his casual affirmation from the rest of his friends, he pulled out the keys to his car, reached for his carbon fiber door handle, pulled the door open, and hopped in. He reached for his push to start button on his dashboard and pressed it in. He proceeded to reach for his stick shift and put the car into reverse. He backed up, looking at his backup camera as he did so. He jokingly tried to pull into his friend just across the way. “HONK, HONK, HONK!” he slammed, laughing, as he 104 got closer and closer to running into his friend. He rolled his front pas- senger window down and yelled out at his friend, “Ayy, you’re in my way bitch.” He stuck his tongue out as he said so. His friend Steven smirked back and gave him the classic finger; a useful symbol that we all learn at the age of 10. He was holding up the cars behind him. He finally pulled off, taking his time, as if he was in his own autobiography movie of sorts. He made his way down to the usual left turn on Emerson road. There were two cars in front of him. He pulled his IPhone out of his pocket, quickly turned it on, and slid over 2 times and hovered his thumb over the Spotify app. He proceeded to click on it and go to his playlist that consisted mostly of mainstream Hip-Hop and Rap. He clicked shuffle, and turned his volume up on his stereo. He put his left blinker on, now with only one car in front of him to turn. He proceeded to look down at his phone once again, checking his Snap Chat, when, “HOOOOOOONK- KK!!!” He once again took too long taking his time, instead of making the casual left turn like most did. He quickly made the turn after being honked at. He turned off his music as well. He turned onto Emerson road and took the way home on Ladue Road. He always preferred taking La- due home over the highway. It was a more relaxing drive, where you got to see the beautiful homes and the beautiful countryside. As he passed by the homes, he liked to think about what the people did that lived there. He saw a 3 story home with a Mercedes parked in the front. He conclud- ed that they had to be a doctor, and engineer, an athlete, or a successful businessman. Like all the other boys his age, he dreamt of living the good life when he grew up. He had dreams of being an engineer when he grew up. He was always naturally, very good at math. However, he didn’t think his father could afford to send him to college. He was sure that he had to pay for that. He never even thought his father would send him to college, even if he had the money. He would always say things like, “Boy, you re- ally think you’re gonna go to college and be one of them pretentious folk with their little college degree. Well let me tell you something, a college degree don’t mean nothing. Look at me. I never got a college degree, and I’m doing just fine.” His dad was a blue collar electrician. He may have been an alcoholic, but he was a functioning one at that. He drank consistently throughout the day. While he worked, he tried to talk as little as he could so that people wouldn’t smell the whiskey on his breath. He wasn’t the nicest guy in the world, but when he did his job he was respectful as could be. He was very manipulative. He always did his job as well as he could because he knew that if he didn’t, he wouldn’t be hired anymore, which meant no more alcohol. He didn’t make a whole lot of money, but it was enough to get the two of them by. He wouldn’t have been able to send his son to a Catholic school if it wasn’t for the huge paycheck he received from his father’s will. He was granted two hundred and fifty thousand after his father’s passing. Maybe his father wasn’t the worst guy in the world. Billy always pondered why he sent him to Catholic school, when it appeared that his father didn’t seem to care about Billy’s feelings. Billy thought that maybe it was that his father felt that he had a moral standard, since he knew God was watching him. I’m not sure he actually cared about sending Billy to a good school. It was more like, “Look what I did Father. I sent Billy to a Catholic school.” It was as if he thought that he could outsmart God. Billy exited back onto the highway after passing through Ladue. He 105 took Highway 141 back to Henry road, and drove through there until he reached his home on Prince way Ct. As he drove into the driveway, he felt a sigh of relief. He sat there in the driveway and texted some of his friends about what they were going to do over winter break. He knew he had some work to over winter break though. He was a bag boy at Dierbergs’ grocery store right next to his house. He always hated his job. He needed it though to make enough money to pay for his gas. Billy did a serviceable job as a bag boy. His favorite part was when he was asked to bring in the shopping carts because they never monitored them when they were outside. He was able to look at his phone or listen to music as he did his job bringing the carts in. It wasn’t the hardest work in the world, but it wasn’t the easiest either. At the very least, pulling in carts in the winter was better than bringing them in the summer. Billy never made any friends at his work. He did his job, kept his head down, and hardly said a word to anyone. He never enjoyed the interactions he had with customers. Most of the people either never made conversation with him or they nagged him on what to do. He al- ways despised the people who wanted paper over plastic. It was so much harder to bag the items in those god forsaken things. Billy turned his car off, locked it, waltzed in, and dropped his back- pack near the door. As he sauntered into the living room, he noticed his father sitting there with his usual glass of whiskey on the rocks. His father gazed at him scornfully. Billy flopped onto their old recliner and reached into his pocket to check his cellphone. He quickly looked up, giving a confused glance, baffled as to what the reasoning was for his un- pleasant reception. He finally saw it, the paper sitting next to his father. He began to sink into the crevices of the chair. His grades had turned out horribly, and he knew he had something coming for him. His father just sat there patiently, saying nothing. Billy’s eyes re- mained glued to his phone, pretending he had no idea what was about to happen. He used his peripheral vision to make out the distorted smile on his father’s face, teeth grunted behind the walls of his closed lips. His fa- ther’s eyes appeared seemingly void of life as Billy slowly sank more and more into the depths of the recliner. He tried to approach the idea of eye- contact but failed and ended up avoiding it. His father noticed his measly attempt and saw this as his queue to strike. He rose his body from his throne and darted over toward his son. He came within two feet of him, stopped, and slowly raised his hand, preparing to strike him. Billy froze in fear as his father’s hand moved closer and closer, stopping slightly in front of his face. Billy raised his head to meet his interrogator’s eyes. “You’re lucky I didn’t beat your ass you fucking idiot!” his father shout- ed. The father then moved his hand away from Billy and pointed to the stairs. Billy did as he was instructed. His father drunkenly stumbled back to where he sat down previously. As he ascended the stairs he began to cry. Billy never cried. He got beat all the time by his father, but something about not being beaten made him feel even worse. It was as if he he’d been disowned. About to enter his bedroom, he turned around and stormed back into the living room. He moved swiftly. The creeks in the floor were simply preparation for his father, as he sat there taking another sip from his glass, waiting for his son to fuck up again. He screamed at his father, “Well, at least I’m not a fucking alcoholic like you!” Billy felt powerful, proud of him- self. For a moment, Billy felt more buzzed than his father. His spirits, however, were immediately crushed by his father’s gaze of utter contempt 106 that he had only seen once before in his life. Both of their faces turned red, each for different reasons. He immediately recoiled back, the real- ization of past mistakes openly evident. His father, hardly even phased, just laughed and said, “Oh, you’re gonna fucking get it now!” His father quickly leaped forward and grabbed his son on the shoulders, shaking his body violently. “You fucking little piece of shit! Why did I even raise you? You’re completely fucking useless! You’re the reason your mother left you fucking sack of lazy shit! That’s right! Cry pussy! Cry! Cry with all your might because even God himself doesn’t give a shit about you!” The obscenities did not fall onto the deaf ears of his son, who at this point became numb and cold to the rest of the world. His father’s rage only grew, choking him out on the floor. Billy, resigned to his fate, merely froze, and realized that for the rest of his life he would suffer un- der the hands of a tyrant. He let go. What incentive did he have to fight back? The father only acknowledged the surrender with even more anger and violence until he forcefully threw his son up against the wall. He eyelids leisurely unfastened from the grips of his swollen eyeballs. His father was hunched over, passed out in his chair, an empty bottle of Crown Royale lying next to him on the end table. Billy reached for his pocket, pulled out his phone, and checked the time. It was 1:30 a.m. He knew it was time. He lifted himself up off the floor, walked upstairs, very slowly, so as to not make any noise, grabbing his backpack, his wallet, and his keys. His back and his head ached badly. There were no thoughts running through Billy’s head. It was a strange feeling. It felt as if what he was doing was a duty. It was meant to be. But Billy’s lack of thoughts didn’t last for much longer. He sat on his bed and thought about all the harm his father had brought upon him in his life. He thought about his mother, and where she was at the time. He never saw her. The day she left, she let Billy know that she loved him more than anything in this world, but she had no choice but to leave. Billy never understood how she could just abandon him like that. For a second, Billy pondered what it would have been like if he had siblings. He thought that it might have been worse since his father would have been agonizing more people than just himself. But at least he would have had people who loved him and could relate to him. He realized that his popu- larity meant nothing. No matter how many friends he had, nobody would ever understand what he went through. He realized that he was alone in this world. Billy walked out his door, carrying his backpack on his back, secur- ing both straps with his right and left hands. He carried with him a deep, empty loneliness as he exited his front door. He carried his body like an old man with scoliosis. His wide shoulders pointed downwards, sulking more and more with every step that he took. He carried a stair filled with despair. He made no eye contact with anything but his 2004 Ford Explorer. He carried none of his books - as if it mattered. He strolled around as if he was lost, because he was. He only carried around the most important of things in his life. He treated them like gold. His caressed his laptop, for he needed it if he wanted to succeed on whatever path he took next. He reached into his pocket and threw his flash drive over his head somewhere into the depths of his father’s unkempt lawn. He’d never taken life so seriously.

107 School of Baffoons

by Brendan Koch, 12

I decided to take art class as a freshman in high school. It was the worst decision of my life. My art teacher was a slag-sacked queef pocket. That’s two hundred and ten percent sure. She was a heavy set lady of about 5’9. She had dark hair, a bowl cut and thick-framed glasses to be exact. She walked everywhere like she had just shit her pants, and she al- ways talked with this pretentious grin on her face. Her name was Wilson. Mrs. Wilson. Although, she was known by a lot of the students as Roz. For Wilson, art was never about expression. It was simply about copying the works of others. I’d almost failed that damned art class. It was a week before spring break, and I was boarding an airplane with my family. We made our way onto the plane, and found our seats. I made sure to butt ahead of my family to steal the window seat from them. A very good decision. I slept like a baby on that flight.

I woke up, only to hear the unmistakable “Doooooo Doooooo” of the seat belt sign. I looked out the window. “Palm trees at an airport,” I scoffed to myself. Life was great. Yeah, life WAS great. Until we got back home.

“What is this?” I thought to myself. I was sitting in a chair, peering down at my e-mail. It was Wilson. I read the thing with all my might. It took a lot of will power not to ignore one of Wilson’s God-forsaken emails.

Mr. Koch, (it always read like British a female super villain)

So it appears you left to go on vacation a week early from school. Well I’m not having it you little shit. You didn’t even approach me letting me know of this little charade you’re trying to pull. I will have you know that what you missed was very important in broadening our cultural awareness here at this school. You are to make a Native American mask out of whatever little crap you have lying around, and it’d better be good, for your sake.

With rigorous stimulation, Margaret B. Wilson

“With rigorous stimulation? No, definitely not ‘with rigorous 108 stimulation’,” I thought to myself. Attached to the e-mail was a jpg file with a blurry picture of one of the Indian masks. The thing was made out of construction paper. That was good. I thought we were going to have to make the thing out of ostrich leather or some stupid shit. I was sure she chose to take a picture of the mask with the worst grade in the class. Not because it looked bad, but probably just to screw with me. “What the hell am I going to do?” I thought. I’ll save you the snore of every last detail of me doing the project. Yes, I did get it done. It was really damn rigorous. But it sure as hell wasn’t stimulating. But the thing was an absolute masterpiece. Every little de- tail of that thing. I even had time to add a little mohawk to it, to foster up a little pizazz. When I went to turn the project in however, it was a completely different story. “No, the Native Americans we were instructed to make were not supposed to have mohawks, Mr. Koch,” Wilson said. “Look, I worked really hard on this thing in just the last day. I did the best I could with what you gave me. I don’t understand what’s wrong with it,” I said to her. “As I just informed you, Mr. Koch. The tribe of Native Americans that the assignment was supposed to be about were not that of Native Americans who traditionally wore mohawks,” she replied. “Okay, well… I mean. I’m turning this one in. Because it’s good. I know it is,” I replied to her. “Okay, that is perfectly fine and your decision, Mr. Koch. I will have it graded as soon as I can,” she said. “Okay, thank you,” I said, as I walked out of her classroom.

The rest of the school day was fine. I went to all of my other classes, and made it through that dreaded, boring first day back of school. Every- thing was looking up. I couldn’t believe that I’d even convinced Wilson to take my Indian mask. I knew there was gonna be some trouble there. She would never make it too easy. At the end of the day, my mom came to pick me up after school. She texted me, letting me know that she was there. I walked out to her car, and opened the front passenger seat door. “How was school, honey?” she asked me. photo by Paul Bytnar, 12 109 “It was good,” I said, shutting the car door. “Did you turn in your art project?” “Yeah, it actually went pretty well. I turned that in. Oh, and I also took my makeup test in algebra. I think I did pretty well on the test. Like a B.” “Oh, good job. Well, that’s good. I thought some teachers might give you a little trouble for missing that week of school,” she said. “They did,” I thought to myself. “No, it was fine. I mean, I let all of them know beforehand. So everything went pretty smoothly,” I said. We drove home. I thought about how great of a day back it was. When we got home, I played some video games and ate dinner. Before I usually start on my homework, I check my e-mails and my grades just to see what’s up. I checked my e-mail, and there was nothing new in there. Just some spam e-mails about school activities and that e-mail I got from Mrs. Wilson a couple days ago. I moved that e-mail straight to the trash folder. Next, I checked my grades. I went onto our school website, and looked to see what my grades were. Art was first because, the grades were always listed in alphabetical order. I clicked on my art grade, and I saw a 48 percent in there. “No, that can’t be right,” I thought to myself. I looked, and in the project category I saw it. I had gotten a zero on this most recent project. I remained calm and assumed it was just a mistake. I did the rest of my homework and went to bed. When I came to school the next morn- ing, I went directly to Mrs. Wilson’s room, and asked about why it showed a zero in the grade book. “I told you that it was your decision to turn it in, Mr. Koch,” She said. “Well, I assumed that that meant that it was all right and that you changed your mind”, I said. “No, Mr. Koch. That is quite in fact not what I meant. I gave you a zero because your project displayed a racist generalization”, she said. “You mean the mohawk?” I said. Her response of nothing told me the answer to that question. “This is so stupid,” I said. “Oh, we can’t use that one anymore, Mr. Koch. Stupid is vastly offen- sive in the eye of the beholder.” I stood there with a bewildered look, yet said nothing. “Well, maybe you’d be better off seeking a visit with the principal,” she said. “Okay, I’m sure they’re going to agree with ME, not you,” I respond- ed.

So I went to the principal. “Yeah, now Mrs. Wilson is FINALLY going to get in trouble for one of her stupid escapades,” I thought. I waltzed on over to the main office and asked to see the principal. When they claimed he was busy, I simply said that it was important, and they took my word for it. Our principal’s name was Mr. Bochner. He was a man who was rarely seen. A definite recluse. His hair consisted of eye- brows, and a very ragged scruff lining the sides of his face, from the edge of his sideburns, down to his chin and upper lip. He always wore a sweater vest with a bow tie. He was a man with the sweatiest lip I had ever seen. Among his sweater vest shirt pocket was a dabbing cloth just for the top of his upper lip. This was very odd. Because it was appar- ent that he never got much exercise. He wasn’t fat. Just oddly shaped. The best way to describe his body was like that of a hobbit from Lord of 110 the Rings. He had the stumpiest little arms you’d ever seen. He ran the school like a wheel and dealer. He had the aesthetic of Quinten Taran- tino, just without the hair of course. Now, I’m sure you’re wondering why I described this man so much… because he interested me. He was the strangest man, yet he was absolutely fascinating. “Sorry Mr. Koch, unfortunately, we cannot do much to alter the scholarly decisions that teachers at this school make. It is not in my power to jurisdict their teaching styles,” the principal said. “So, then what is it your job to do?” I asked. “Yeah,” he responded, leaning back in his chair, putting his arms into the crunch position behind his head, and kicking his shoeless feet up on his desk, completely poker faced. “Umm, what?” I asked. “I can’t answer that question Mr. Koch. It’s proposed with an aura of hostility around it and unfortunately I can’t do anything with that,” he said. “Aura of hostility? Aura of hostility?! What the hell is going on in this school? You know I’m in the right. Like, what?” I asked. “Unfortunately, I can’t answer your questions. For they are only for you to answer,” he said. “Whuh? Why is everything so philosophical? Like, what is your job?” I asked, very confused. He simply took a deep breath, reached for his metallic cof- fee cup, unscrewed the lid, grabbed a spoon off his desk and started mixing it around, with clearly audible child-like giggles every time the spoon clanked with the cup. “I’m sorry, Mr. Koch. Unfortunately, I have (another giggle let out) more important things to attend to,” he said. He finished it off by opening a metal cabinet attached to his desk, and pull- ing out a set of Newton balls. He put it on his desk and started playing with it. I walked out absolutely fuming. “I swear to God. Everyone is going crazy in this school,” I grunted. Well, that was that. Sometimes a story never has an ending, and that was this one for me. Wilson, she got away with her crap! There was not much more I could do. That day, when I waited for my mom after school, Wilson had constructed an elaborate lie, claiming that I had never turned the thing in in the first place. She had called my mother, letting her know all about the fake story before I was able to tell the real one. And it was left at that. I was barely able to pull a seventy in that class. One thing I knew was certain though, this place was run by a school of buffoons.

111 This is an incredibly special issue of The Scrivener. For years the layout and editing has been done mostly, if not exclusively by the moderator of the magazine. A few years ago Mr. Kevin Berns came up to me in conversation and said that the final project for students in Fiction Writ- ing should be to perform these tasks. This is the fruition of that con- versation. For the first time at DeSmet Jesuit High School, the students have edited, designed, and layed out the pages of our literary magazine. Their first run is quite impressive not only in size but also in content. Of course there have been some mistakes along the way, but the quality of the final product they have produced far outweighs these errors. In addition to accomplishing these tasks, these young men can now say that they have been published and can add the technical skill of knowing how to use Adobe InDesign to their resumes - quite impressive for students who have yet to graduate high school.

I am so proud of what they have done. We hope you enjoy this special issue and look forward to the next issue following the precdent set by this group of young men.

Mr. Robert Hutchison

112