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36 exotic magazine | xmag.com exotic magazine | xmag.com 36 Publisher XMAG LLC.
General Manager Bryan A. Bybee
Editor John R. Voge
Production / Design Guru Diego
Graphic Design Darkstar Graphics Daniel “Rally Sport” Raffel Shawna
Contributing Photographers Carl Geers • London Lunoux HYPNOX
Advertising Adam (503) 804-4479 Mariah (503) 827-8018 (ESCORTS)
Distribution Enrico Carrisco • Adam
Contributors Spooky X • Jim Goad J Mack • Elektra Luxx • Rob Butler Mark Wasyl • Samara T. Pants Amber S. • Statutory Ray AmbeRed • Betty X
Cover Photography London Lunoux
Cover Model Sugar from Stars Cabaret Salem
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36 exotic magazine | xmag.com exotic magazine | xmag.com 36 Issue #1 • Volume 1 • Number 0 October 00
Copyright © 00 All rights reserved. Published monthly by XMAG LLC. BELOVED ASSHOLES Circulation: ,000 per month at masters of disaster 00+ sites by jim goad Mailing Address: 1 SW rd Avenue, Suite 1 page 1 Portland, Oregon 0 Telephone: 0.1.1 Fax: 0.1.0 Email: [email protected] Exotic Online: www.xmag.com TALES FROM THE DJ Publisher XMAG LLC. BOOTH VOL. II General Manager juicebox and the rent Bryan A. Bybee by statutory ray Editor page John R. Voge
Production / Design Guru Diego
Graphic Design SEX, BLOOD & THE Darkstar Graphics Daniel “Rally Sport” Raffel Shawna VAGINALOGUES twisted babes hot for gore! Contributing Photographers Carl Geers • London Lunoux by ambeRed & friends HYPNOX page Advertising Adam (0) 0- Mariah (0) -01 (ESCORTS) Distribution BAD MOVIES OF THE Enrico Carrisco • Adam
Contributors PAST 0 YEARS Spooky X • Jim Goad J Mack • Elektra Luxx • Rob Butler shaq sucks so good! Mark Wasyl • Samara T. Pants by jim goad Amber S. • Statutory Ray AmbeRed • Betty X page 0
Cover Photography London Lunoux
Cover Model Sugar from Stars Cabaret Salem
EROTIC CITY PG. Exotic is not liable for any images of models used by advertisers to promote products or services. Rights and releases are the sole responsibility of the advertisers. All DOGTOWN VS. KITTY CAT PG. 0 persons appearing in photos are over the age of 1. One copy of each edition of Exotic is available free to any person each month. Anyone removing magazines in bulk will be prosecuted on theft charges to the fullest extent of the law. Any reproduction of WHATZ CRACKIN’ PG. 0 materials presented herein without the expressed written consent of the publisher is forbidden by law. In scientifi c case studies, reading Exotic magazine has caused PIN-UP CALENDAR PG. certain undesirable side effects. Possible side effects include headache, dizziness, mild nausea, diahrrea, vomiting, rash, itching, hives, swelling of the lips and face, hair growth, hand tremors, gum swelling, higher blood pressure, increase in cho- exotic magazine | xmag.com exotic magazine | xmag.com lesterol level, altered kidney function, swollen gums, acne, weight gain, blood in the urine, fl uid retention, drowsiness, irritability, behavior changes, oily anal discharges, premature ejaculation, complete penile dysfunction, lupus, sleep apnea, lyme disease and certain strains of knee-jerk, violent, right-wing republican behavior. exotic magazine | xmag.com exotic magazine | xmag.com 1
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36 exotic magazine | xmag.com exotic magazine | xmag.com 36 Bobby Knight is the “Raging Ted Nugent, AKA “The Motor City Frank RIzzo, AKA “The Last Bull” of college basketball. He and his Madman,” embodies the impenitent fish-out-of- Big Man in Big City America,” was the legendary temper led Indiana to three water aspect of Beloved Assholism better than giant scowling hippo who served as national championships. almost anyone. He’s a squirrel-slaughtering, drug- Philadelphia’s Gestapo-like police commis- hating, kill-the-Arabs conservative who has chosen sioner during the riot-happy late 1960s. ON WRITERS: “All of us learn to write in a career behind the politically hostile enemy lines He was also the city’s mayor from 1972-1980. the second grade. Most of us go on to of those commie-fellating rockers. Here are two sample comments, the first of greater things.” which we’ve all probably heard in one form He’s also adept at assholian comments such as when or another: ON SEXUAL ASSAULT: “I think if rape is he called Patti Smith a “sperm-bank queen” to her inevitable, relax and enjoy it.” face in the halls of a Philly radio station and the time “A conservative is a liberal who got mugged he claimed to be a better guitarist than Jimi Hendrix. the night before.” ON HIS TEMPER: “I’ve always been too confron- tational, especially when I know I’m right.” “The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It’s I bear an intense only the people who make them unsafe.” ON A PLAYER’S BAD PERFORMANCE: “We put his affection for people who say dick in a vise. I twisted it. We stuck a red-hot precisely the wrong thing at the poker up his ass and poured hot water down wrong time in the wrong place. I may his mouth and I told him if he promised to Khalid Abdul Muhammad play well, we’d quit all that.” disagree with the content of what was so fucking extreme, he was kicked out they’re saying, but I glean joy from of the frickin’ NATION OF ISLAM! He died of an the sheer inappropriateness of it. aneurysm in 2001 at age 53. Sample quotes: It takes balls to say Howard Cosell was probably the wrong thing! “[Jews are] hook-nosed, bagel-eatin’, lox- the Most Hated Man in America during the eatin’ impostors....You see, everybody always late 1970s. His perennial verbal jousting with talk about Hitler exterminating 6 million Muhammad Ali comprised some of the most Earl Butz was Secretary of Agriculture under Jews....But don’t nobody ever asked what did amusing filmed interactions between two Richard Nixon and Gerald Ford. In 1976, his resigna- they do to Hitler?” humans in history. Sample quotes: tion was demanded after he allegedly told this joke —Kean College, NJ, November 29, 1993 to reporters while flying on Air Force One: “I’m just telling it like it is.” “There are no good crackers, and if you find “I’ll tell you what the coloreds want. It’s three things: one, kill him before he changes.” “What’s right isn’t always popular. What’s first, a tight pussy; second, loose shoes; and third, a —West Chester University, PA, popular isn’t always right.” warm place to shit.” February 17, 1992
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36 exotic magazine | xmag.com exotic magazine | xmag.com 36 Frank RIzzo, AKA “The Last Big Man in Big City America,” was the giant scowling hippo who served as Philadelphia’s Gestapo-like police commis- sioner during the riot-happy late 1960s. He was also the city’s mayor from 1972-1980. Here are two sample comments, the first of which we’ve all probably heard in one form or another:
“A conservative is a liberal who got mugged the night before.”
“The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It’s only the people who make them unsafe.”
Khalid Abdul Muhammad was so fucking extreme, he was kicked out of the frickin’ NATION OF ISLAM! He died of an aneurysm in 2001 at age 53. Sample quotes:
“[Jews are] hook-nosed, bagel-eatin’, lox- eatin’ impostors....You see, everybody always talk about Hitler exterminating 6 million Jews....But don’t nobody ever asked what did they do to Hitler?” —Kean College, NJ, November 29, 1993
“There are no good crackers, and if you find one, kill him before he changes.” —West Chester University, PA, February 17, 1992
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36 exotic magazine | xmag.com exotic magazine | xmag.com 36 October 2007 NW Arm Wrestling Championships, with a grand prize of a round trip plus hotel to Las Vegas for the U.S. Championships. And don’t forget their very t had been a long time since I had visited the dangerously captivating special Halloween From Hell, a party to remember with a surprise perfor- Rose City—almost a full year, actually. “They” say it’s a bad idea to return mance by a huge national band brought to you by Safari and KUFO! Ito the scene of the crime, but if my visit to Portland last month for Exotic’s Tommy’s III will be rocking the holiday with a Phantom of the Opera 14th anniversary was any indication of a bad idea, I’ll do it again real soon. Themed Halloween Party Saturday, Oct. 27th at 8pm and a best phantom We would like to thank everyone who attended and all those who helped costume contest at midnight with prize giveaways, free buffet, and specials all night long. Stop on by The Big Bang for the First Friday’s Cabaret Noir make our 14th Anniversary Party a raging success, including our sponsors Dinner Show at 9pm, plus you can discover the “Women of Mystery” all Taboo Video, Homegrown Video, Dante’s, the Devils Point, and Black Diamond Halloween weekend long while you’re checking out their all-new lottery room. Recording Studios. Big ups to Sheena and the G Girls for making the most Over at The Dream On Saloon, it’s Natalia’s 21st birthday party on Friday, dramatic entrance, as they showed up fashionably late rolling 20 deep in a Oct. 5th at midnight, so stop by and make sure she does it in style, won’t you? stretch Hummer limo ready to party like the rock stars they are. The Queen DV8 presents Portland’s Original and 9th Annual of the Portland Adult Industry will soon be Pimps ’n’ Hos’ Ball on Saturday, Oct. 27th, with all expanding her kingdom, as Sheena launches proceeds benefiting the Susan G. Komen Race for G-Spot Records. If you have the musical talent, the Cure. Plus, pool tournaments are every Sunday get at Sheena by contacting her at the G-Spot starting at 7pm, with cash prizes and more. Cruise Northeast location. on by the Hawthorne Strip for their One Year Anniversary Party on Saturday, Oct. 27th, featuring prizes, giveaways, and specials, plus a complemen- tary BBQ from noon-9pm. Gentlemen, start your IN THE CLUBS engines: It’s time for Jody’s NASCAR Sunday Event The competition for Halloween is on Sunday, October 21st at 11am. Jody’s is your so fierce you’re gonna need to clone Exotic correspondents Enrico, Diego, and Ganji review sports viewing paradise, with eight TVs and three big yourself to keep up, because all of the statistics for October’s erotic entertainment. screens for Monday Night Football and NFL Sunday Ticket, plus special the following events will be taking place on Halloween Night, Wednesday, appearances by Gallery Girl Next Door of the Year Holly Foxxx every Wednesday October 31st. Try to stay with me here. Blush will be hosting their Halloween from 4:30pm-9pm and Saturday from 9pm-close! Bash, which promises to be their most wicked event of the year, with costume At the Pallas, it’s time to bust out those boogie shoes for the “Saturday contests and cash prizes for customers. More hijinx await you at Cabaret I Night Fever Disco Inferno Party!” Come dressed in your disco wear and party and II for their 4th Annual Halloween Costume Party at Cabaret I and 2nd like it’s 1979 on Saturday, Oct. 20th at 9:30pm, and don’t forget it’s Alias’s Annual at Cabaret II. The contests start at 10pm and are open to ANYONE. quarter-century birthday party on Saturday, Oct. 27th. Check out the action They offer a 1st-place prize of $500, 2nd-place prize of $300, and 3rd-place this month at Soobie’s Smirnoff Party on October 10th and Three Olives prize of $150. Over at the Devils Point’s Halloween Party, upon the witching Party on October 24th from 10pm-midnight with some awesome giveaways! hour you can stop by for their costume contest in Satan’s favorite playground. The Dolphin Clubs will be holding their Hallow Weenie Party at 8pm at both clubs, and since you can never get enough of a Hallow Weenie, they’ll be OTHER DECADENT DELIGHTS celebrating the event all month long with best-costume prizes every weekend. Romeo’s V.I.P. Club of Salem will be offering $10 off house fees on Next up, be sure to check out Hotties Halloween Party from 6pm-close with, Monday through Saturday from 10am-3pm and all day Sunday, while Sheer you guessed it…a costume contest. And if tricks and treats aren’t your bag, Sensations offers free house fees on Friday nights from 8pm-close. Hotties will also be hosting their Male Revue Night (for the ladies only) on You can now buy your tickets for the Portland Erotic Ball at Taboo Sunday, Oct. 14th from 6pm-9pm, with tickets on sale now. Wrapping up our Video or enter to win free tickets, which include a hosted bar and over- amazing list of way too much to possibly do on one night is Stars Salem’s night accommodations at the Jupiter Hotel! Ace of Hearts gets it going on “Fetish Karneval” on the 31st, featuring body modification and suspensions again with their Gang Bang Party on Sunday, Oct. 14th from 6pm-1am and by Modified Militia, magic by Reed McClintock, dungeon furniture by Rot Thursday, Oct. 25th from 8pm-2am in case you want to double your pleasure. Iron Fantasy, and live tattooing. Plus fire performances by Ty Fyre, Germany, Congrats to the Bunny Ranch, which will be celebrating 52 years in busi- and Michael, with contortion by Blaze. ness on October 13th. Dennis Hof and special Cathouse guests will be at the LaDonna’s of Salem gets the wickedness going early with their Halloween Portland Erotic Ball on Saturday, Oct. 27th, giving away a trip for two to Party on Saturday, Oct. 27th at 9pm, with free cover for costumed guests the Bunny Ranch. And next up, I get to write about one of my good friends and cash prizes at midnight, plus two-girl whipped-cream-and-chocolate or and a very talented S.O.B., Hypnox Photography, who shot our covers for fire-and-wax shows every Friday and Saturday. What about fire and whipped two years straight for Underground in Seattle. Well…our loss is your gain, so cream? Or perhaps…chocolate and wax? Just think of the possibilities here! if you want a shoot by an Exotic photographer, just give Doug a call at (206) Safari Showclub proudly introduces Mandatory Mondays, where you 226-3853 or go to Hypnox.com to see how badass this guy is. can rideexotic in style magazine aboard their | xmag.com party bus to other greatexotic gentlemen’s magazine clubs | xmag.com abso- Be sure to enjoy all the naughty little tricks awaiting you this Halloween. lutely FREE! Starting Oct. 17th through Nov. 17th, you won’t want to miss the I’ll see you next month. I’m out.
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36 exotic magazine | xmag.com exotic magazine | xmag.com 36 hat makes most women hot? Horror flicks? Not generally, but Wfor the season and for my own demented reasons, gore-filled film let’s start with the runner-up on my list of gruesome picks! makes me bite That one movie that makes me pour a cold tall one, kick my lower lip ’til it back with the lights down low, and turn on the heat. The bleeds. Literally movie that’s part of my sick, wet, warm, and sticky obses- two words… sion…I’m talking about Zodiac. Call me deranged and Sheri Moon! SHERI MOON slightly insane, but there’s just something about a real- The REAL reason life serial killer who’s never been captured hell-bent on to lube up before methodically mutilating his victims. Z is the type of psycho rubbing one out is that guarantees the guy’s not gonna fuck around before the twelve-year- you get your guts hung out to dry. I mean, if you’re gonna old voice trapped get killed, why screw around with foreplay? Sometimes in the super-hot hard and fast isn’t so bad. thirty-something Let’s not forget this madman had it in for the female blonde body gender. If your fiancée over there got jacked up with two threatening to or three knife wounds, you can bet your ass a healthy dose cut off Little Miss of shut-the-fuck-up and ten to twelve jabs down the chest Super-Cheerleader’s tits and shove them down her throat! are in store for Sally Sue. Sad but true, we all know most OK, maybe it’s a sick fantasy of mine from high school to horror films (and actual serial killers, for that matter) have tell that bitch off in the locker room who laughed one too a weakness for blondes with DDs. That’s right, darling, many times at my welfare glasses…I’ll show that bitch… if you’re rockin’ a substantial rack, 5’9”, and drop-dead wait a minute, that’s Carrie or something. Regardless, sexy…you’re losing your head. those are the horror flicks that rock this chick’s picks. If you think Zodiac had me simmering in my own juices, But my demented desires are just my own twisted wait ’til I get to the next hit with House of 1000 Corpses! opinions, so I thought you might enjoy a few choices that To start with, any place you roll up on that has a big metal my sexy little minions had to share with me. First up is sign containing the words “Fried Chicken and Gasoline” ELEKTRA LUXX… and is run by a demented sideshow clown should be avoided at all costs! I could be really clever here and say something like Unless, of course, Invasion of the Body Snatchers, Psycho (Freud is SO BRAM STOKER’S DRACULA HOT), or King Kong (not much raises the temp like you’re the sick fuck a giant gorilla lusting after some tiny damsel). But I who wants to inves- won’t, because when it comes down to the nitty-gritty, tigate the attached I’m really not that clever, just pretty good at pretend- murder museum ing to be. (Fooled you, didn’t I?) What really does it for and get punked by me though, are vampires. All vampires—red, yellow, black, and white. I love me some blood-sucking scoun- a bunch of white- drels. It’s actually disturbing that they turn me on so trash hillbillies much, but I am OK with disturbing myself. My future and real unstable boyfriend is actually a vampire—somewhere, maybe, family-like folk. in Transylvania, who knows? OK, so there’s no such But when it comes thing as a vampire, but still, they get me going. Where down to it, there can I even start with the vampire flicks? There are so many, it’s hard not to be overwhelmed. Nosferatu is should be really no totally the hottest of all vampires. His flaky, million- exotic magazine | xmag.com exoticquestion magazine as to | xmag.comwhy year-old flesh, extremely long fingernails, pointy ears, FROM DUSK ’TIL DAWN this blood-soaked, and divine, mostly immortal mind just do it for me. dirt-stained, I liked him in 1922, and he was still good in 1979. What other man can you say that about? He’s also a 5858 exoticexotic magazinemagazine || xmag.comxmag.com exoticexotic magazinemagazine || xmag.comxmag.com
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36 exotic magazine | xmag.com exotic magazine | xmag.com 36 Dracula ripoff, and I tend to root for the underdog. I think in 1979 most of him (the film) got burned because of copyright infringement; that’s burning- hot. Anyway, I think I established that vampires make me hot, so if I had to pick just one flick, it would be From Dusk ’Til Dawn. You know why.
Last and certainly not least, BETTY X shoots the horror scene up with her fave fear flicks that rock her world….
Top of the list would have to be Return of the Living Dead III. Mindy Clarke plays Julie Walker, a teen- age rebel who loves rock ’n’ roll and sex. How can you resist a lustful hot redhead in leather, denim, ripped fishnets, heavy black eyeliner, and piercings? After being transformed into the Living Dead Girl, Julie gives new meaning to “body modification.” She cuts, pierces, and tears into her own flesh to curb her hunger for human brains. However, she’s not without compassion. Despite being a flesh-eating zombie, her love for her musician boyfriend keeps her almost human. It’s a very fucked-up Romeo and Juliet romance…with zombies. Defining hot scene: Julie forces a metal spring through her forearm and then confesses, “The pain helps. The pain makes the hunger go away.…” Next, Gary Oldman is fucking hot in Bram Stoker’s Dracula. He plays a strikingly handsome and some- what more realistic rendition of the historic Slavic prince. Stoker’s Dracula is an antihero with a broken heart, a tragic character that is easy to identify with and feel pity for. When Elizabeta, his eternal love, believes he is killed in the Crusades, she jumps to her death. He then turns his back on God and falls into dark- ness, becoming the “monster that breath- ing men would BRAM STOKER’S DRACULA kill.” Another tragic soul would be Norman Bates in Hitchcock’s Psycho. Anthony Perkins plays such a nice, quiet mama’s boy. In Psycho III, Norman meets a beau- tiful doubting nun who tries to commit suicide in the same bathtub where Janet Leigh’s character is carved up in the first movie’s famous shower scene. In a delirium, she sees the silhouette of Norman and believes it to be the Virgin Mary. Ironically, Norman was on his way to carve her up but snaps back to reality when he sees that she beat him to it. Norman is almost redeemed by her pure love. She loves Norman in spite of his past. They are exotic magazine | xmag.com exotic magazine | xmag.com both fallen and misunderstood in this cruel, uncaring world. But unfortunately for Norman, it ends tragi- cally again. Poor Norman. exotic magazine | xmag.com exotic magazine | xmag.com 59
36 exotic magazine | xmag.com exotic magazine | xmag.com 36 HOT MAMA WEEK 1: HOT o all my people out there that read had completed their Picasso, I was informed that pictures my column each month, I just want were taken, high-fives were given, and all participants left Tyou to know that I appreciate the the building. My insider told me that the head of security love! In this industry, a lot of things go had the daunting task of waking up the gel-coated, pee- down that the average person could never soaked, scribble-faced victim and telling her the club was imagine. I try to keep everyone updated on closed and it was time to go! All I want to know is, where a little bit of everything that’s happening! can I see those pictures? In this month’s column, I’ll put you up on a few events that you should definitely check out. I also got another episode of “The Dressing Room” for your reading pleasure. Plus, as always, another Honey of the Month! Split it down the middle, put somethin’ in it, and let’s go!
First Up…Iceberg Entertainment Rocks the Spot! These two catz not only are tight lyricists, but their beatz knock harder than the police! I got the chance to check ’em out during XMAG PARTY my “Open Mic Night” at P’Shaw’s. There had been a few other artists that hit the stage that night, but when the Iceberg homies Exotic Magazine’s Anniversary Party got up there, everybody felt it! I also commend them on their pro- If you weren’t there, I’m sure you might have heard about it! It took fessionalism and showmanship. You could hear and understand place at Dante’s, and the entire Exotic crew was on deck. There every word they said. Some artists can be so stuck in their own little were elevated go-go dancers and some fly-ass stage shows. Rachel world, they forget people are watching them. Iceberg Entertainment and Iesha from Safari Showclub were in the house! Sheena of was quite the contrary. They recognized the crowd and gave ’em the G-Spot was there with some of her sexy-ass G-Girls. Joel, Ricky, and Cory of Exotica International were also poppin’ it real BIG! a hot show! Not only that, but as a true artist, you have to know All in all, the party was on and crackin’! when and where to perform certain material. If you or someone you know might be interested in performing at P’Shaw’s, drop by on a Thursday night and holla at me. We are currently looking for Mack’s Spots R&B singers, hip-hop artists, poets, and Thursdays—P’Shaw’s Open Mic Night, hosted by yours truly with DJ Socc it to my Pocket. 825 N. Killingsworth. bands. You can also leave me a message at Every Thursday! myspace.com/mrjmack. P’Shaw’s (503-595- Friday, October 5th, 2007—Steve of Flawless 4370) is located at 825 N. Killingsworth Entertainment’s Birthday Bash! Hosted by ya guy Mack. St. If you enjoy watching live entertainment, Santorini’s, 11525 SW Barnes Rd., Beaverton. feel free to come through and support the Sunday, October 28th, 2007—Championship Round local talent. It’s always a good time! of J.Mack’s “Hot Mama Contest.” $1000 in Cash & Prizes! Safari Showclub, 3000 SE Powell. Next Up… JUICY “The Dressing Room” Honey of the Month This month’s Honey is the sexy cool diva Juicy. She has a Every strip club has one, and please believe style all her own, plus she’s real down-to-earth! Not only that, me—some of the things that go on inside she is the same zodiac sign as myself. Power to the Libras these dressing rooms are seriously unbe- this month and year ’round. Congrats, baby, for being the lievable! For instance, there was recently October 2007 Honey of the Month. I’ll see you at Safari for a horrendous makeover that was given to the Hot Mama Finals! Much love… an unsuspecting stripper at a local club. Apparently this chick had been talking mad shit about another dancer and was in her Whatz Crackin’ Sponsors face trying to start a fight. The other girl 503girls.com—giving the town an exclusive look at the wasn’t into all that and avoided the confrontation. Later that night, adult scene by way of the Internet! Big ups, Brian, and thanks for little Ms. Shit Talker was spotted in the dressing room drunk and looking out! passed smooth the fuck out! The girl she had been harassing was Heaven’s Closet—has the hottest lingerie in town and provides immediately notified. She summoned all of her troops to the dressing my contest winners with some real nice pieces! Oooh-weee! room. Ms. Shit Talker’s toes were apparently glued to her shoes, and her hair was uniquely styled with an entire container of gel. Her face Until next month, ya’ll keep it crackin’! exotic magazine | xmag.com exotic magazine | xmag.com looked like a thirdgrade waterpaint contest had taken place on it. To top it all off, I was told by an insider that a fresh tall cup of warm One Love, piss was then doused on the sleepyhead. After the makeup artists J.Mack 60 exotic magazine | xmag.com exotic magazine | xmag.com
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36 exotic magazine | xmag.com exotic magazine | xmag.com 36 A New Sky Film 7 Sunny Days @ Berbati’s Pan Dirty Tuesdays @ Dante’s Exotic Presents: Xotica-Go-Go @ Dante’s The National @ Crystal Ballroom Black Francis & Eastern Conference Champions @ Doug Fir The Subdudes with Liz Barnez @ Aladdin Theater 01 Black Francis & Eastern Conference Champions @ Doug Fir 02 Fall 2007 Widespread Panic @ Memorial Coliseum 03 The Aliens, Augie March, Kate Johnson @ Doug Fir In The Year of VII Down, Philip Anselmo & Pepper Johnny Sketch & The Dirty Notes @ Roseland Grill Girlyman @ Mississippi Studios Keenan @ Roseland Theater 80’s Dance Party @ Hawthorne Theatre George Winston @ Aladdin Theater Finntroll @ Roseland Grill
A Tribute to Ray Charles @ Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall A Tribute to Ray Charles @ Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall Dirty Tuesdays @ Dante’s Exotic Presents: Xotica-Go-Go @ Dante’s Nellie Mckay @ Aladdin Theater Nick Lowe with Bill Kirchen @ Aladdin Theater The Sadies & Power of County @ Dante’s Band of Annuals @ Berbati’s Pan 07 Toots & The Maytals @ Berbati’s Pan 08 Metric, Crystal Castles @ Wonder Ballroom 09 A Quiet Night In with The Mekons @ Aladdin Theater 10 Higgy Baby Says “Stop Shaving!” Magnum PI M Ward @ Crystal Ballroom Rage Films Premier @ Berbati’s Pan Mustache Night @ Venue She Wants Revenge, Kenna and 10 – Echo @ Bill Callahan @ Mission Theater Ohmega Watts @ Doug Fir Roseland Theater Andre Rieu @ Rose Quarter Michael Ian Black & Michael Showalter @ Aladdin Theater Weird Al Yankovic @ The Napavine Amphitheater
Male Revue Night @ Hotties Tre Hardson, Fatlip of Pharcyde @ Berbati’s Pan Dirty Tuesdays @ Dante’s Exotic Presents: Xotica-Go-Go @ Dante’s Gang Bang Party @ Ace of Hearts Rogue Wave, Port O’Brien @ Wonder Ballroom Australian Pink Floyd @ Rose Quarter Say Anything & Hellogoodbye @ Crystal Ballroom 14 Johnny A @ Aladdin Theater 15 16 The Spill Canvas, Daphne Loves Derby, Play Radio Play & Idiot 17 The Go! Team @ Doug Fir Michelle Shocked @ Berbati’s Pan Pilot @ Hawthorne Theatre Bob Mould @ Doug Fir Family Force 5, Jonezetta, The Secret Handshake @ Hawthorne Theatre
Nascar Sundays @ Jody’s Assemblage 23 @ Berbati’s Pan Dirty Tuesdays @ Dante’s Exotic Presents: Xotica-Go-Go @ Dante’s Deacon X’s Fetish Night @ Berbati’s Pan Josh Ritter with Eric Bachman @ Aladdin Theater The Murder Party @ Dante’s Three Olives Party @ Soobie’s 21 22 23 Digitalism @ Doug Fir 24 Pinback, Frightened Rabbit @ Roseland Theater Drowning Pool @ Hawthorne Theatre
J.Mack’s “Hot Mama Contest” @ Safari Showclub Syndel’s Bday @ Berbati’s Pan Dirty Tuesdays @ Dante’s Exotic Presents: Xotica-Go-Go @ Dante’s The Wet Spots & Sinferno Cabaret @ Dante’s Tiger Army @ Wonder Ballroom Architecture in Helsinki @ Crystal Ballroom Halloween Parties @ Blush, Cabaret I & II, Devils 28 Caribou @ Doug Fir 29 30 IAMX @ Doug Fir 31 Point, Dolphin I & II, Hotties, Stars Beaverton and Korn @ Rose Quarter Stars Salem! Pierced Arrows, Black Elk, Red Fang @ Berbati’s Pan Enon @ Doug Fir Pipettes @ Wonder Ballroom These Arms Are Snakes @ Dante’s Blackout Party @ Sassy’s Hillstomp @ Dante’s Amoree Lovell @ Berbati’s Pan Natalia’s 21st Birthday @ Dream On A Tribute to Ray Charles @ Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall 04 Holly Golightly and the Brokeoffs @ Doug Fir 05 Jose Gonzalez with Tiny Vipers @ Aladdin Theater 06 Martin Sexton with Martyn Joseph @ Aladdin Theater Chris Cornell @ Roseland Theater Red Fang, Attitude Problem, Buried Blood @ Berbati’s Pan Sandpeople CD Release, Grouch, Qwel @ Berbati’s Pan The Weakerthans, The Last Town Chorus & Jeremy Stephen Kellogg & The Sixers plus Mozella @ Doug Fir Cocktail Cabaret @ Mission Theater Fisher @ Hawthorne Theatre Redman, Kidz In The Hall & Akir @ Hawthorne Theatre Datarock @ Doug Fir The Comedians of Comedy @ Roseland Theater Bryan Flannery Band @ Macadam’s Bar & Grill
Shout Out Louds @ Berbati’s Pan Boris and Damon & Daomi with Kurihara, Jackie o Black Lips, The Spits, The Strange Effects @ Dante’s Fujiya & Miyagi @ Doug Fir Motherfucker @ Dante’s Greg Brown @ Aladdin Theater 11 Patrick Wolf @ Hawthorne Theatre 12 Pat McGee Band, Josh Kelly @ Aladdin Theater 13 Figurines, Builders and The Butchers @ Berbati’s Pan Film School The Hugs & Eulogies @ Dante’s Pure Country Gold, Goddamn Gentlemen @ Berbati’s Pan Pat Monahan @ Crystal Ballroom Tech N9NE , Dog Faced Gods, Cool Nutz, Luni Coleone, Matt Pond P.A @ Doug Fir Electric Six @ Doug Fir Potluck @ Roseland Pat Monahan & Charlotte Sometimes @ Crystal Ballroom TSol & Mercy Killers @ Satyricon
Ian Moore @ Berbati’s Pan USSA @ Dante’s Disco Inferno Party @ Pallas David Crowder Band @ Crystal Ballroom Climber CD Release @ Berbati’s Pan World Famous All-Female AC/DC Tribute Band, Hell’s 18 Double Vision @ Mission Theater 19 Tokyo Police Club @ Doug Fir 20 Belles @ Dante’s John Vanderslice @ Doug Fir Interpol with Liars @ Memorial Coliseum Groundation @ Berbati’s Pan Harry Shearer @ Wonder Ballroom Lotus @ Hawthorne Theatre Coronation 2007 @ Crystal Ballroom Lucero, Bobby Bare Jr., Whiskey & Co. @ Hawthorne Theatre Lyrics Born @ Wonder Ballroom Miz Kitty’s Parlour @ Mission Theater Akron Family @ Doug Fir
Brandi Carlile @ Crystal Ballroom High On Fire Mono, Panthers & Coliseum @ Dante’s Portland Erotic Ball @ Crystal Ballroom Thurston Moore @ Doug Fir Red October Revolution @ Berbati’s Pan Pimps & Hos Ball @ DV8 25 Meshell Ndegeocello @ Roseland 26 Black Mountain @ Doug Fir 27 1 Year Anniversary @ Hawthorne Strip MUM @ Crystal Ballroom Halloween Party @ Tommy’s III & Ladonna’s (Salem) Los Straitjackets Starring Big Sandy & Special Guests @ Dante’s Eric Church @ Berbati’s Pan Boys Like Girls @ Roseland Theatre The nile is a new Eugene club that is currently seeking entertainers 18 & over to come CLASSIFIEDS earn some great money. We welcome for advertising information call 503.804.4479 walk-ins or feel free to call • HELP WANTED • (541) 688-1869 attractive ladies 18 & over!!! DANCERS & LINGERIE MODELS Think you might have what it takes Sick of the same ol’ shit? Tired of all for a lucrative dancing career? the drama? If you’re beautiful, Consistently make up to $300 on a determined and dependable, daily basis. We can help get you we have your $$$ waiting! started and learn as you earn. Take advantage of our active advertising. starline entertainment 503.692.3655 Mon-Sat after 3pm 503.909.2065 Tommy’s Too NEW OWNER! Now Auditioning Dancers! 10335 SE Foster Rd. Southeast Portland’s Favorite Club Auditions Daily. Minors Welcome Sassy’s - Call 503-231-1606 (503) 774-5220 Auditions Daily 12-4pm 503girls.com WANTS YOU! Dancers Wanted NOW HIRING NUDE MODELS at Portland’s Hottest Clubs & PROMOTIONAL GIRLS Call for shifts at Club 205, DV8, Dancers & Lingerie models Nicolai St. Club, Outlaws, Tommy’s advertise your schedule for free. No Agency Fees. No House Fees. No Stage Fees! We also build custom web sites. 503-960-5865 Call (503) 481-5012 Visit 503girls.com or myspace/503girls Boom Boom Room... Classy exotic dance club on • MISCELLANEOUS • upscale SW Barbur Blvd. Seeking top-quality dancers. LOOKING FOR A WAY OUT?? Call Kylee 503-407-5931 Single male in search of a beautiful female to send back to school (?), romeo’s vip club spoil and travel with.Long-term Salem Models: 503-990-9809 relationship desired. Other Inquiries: 503-383-8874 (971) 678-7892 Highest Tips In Industry. Models And Managers Needed. cash guaranteed $200 min per shoot. No Experience Necessary. $ Adult modeling opportunities $ Training Provided. Lincoln City, Eugene, (Playboy, Hustler, Barely Legal, Vivid, & More) Bend Locations Coming Soon. Apply online: purepinkproductions.com HIRING DANCERS!! or call (503) 927-6666 Female owned and operated. Looking for a generous straight Call 503-901-1101 or 503-261-1111 male to help please my young, submissive, Make big money and have fun!! petite, busty & very kinky girlfriend 18 yrs. and up. - a locally famous model - (must help her w/her finances, be very generous, & Std AUDITIONS free!) please email 1st 4 info if possible! for Dante’s Sinferno Cabaret & Vaudeville... [email protected] (971-226-4655) Tuesday evenings 6pm-9pm @ Dante’s (1 SW 3rd Ave.) The Costume Lady 503.226.6630 for more info Budget Dancewear custom handmade Rooster’s halloween costumes! Dancers Wanted ORDERs must be in by oct. 10th! No experience necessary. Easygoing 503.330.5154 environment, $5 shift fees and very flexible scheduling. Soon to be 18+. hot local singles For auditions/booking Real People - Real Dates Call Capri @ (503) 267-2780 Listen & Respond FREE! DANCERS Portland 503-525-2400 Seattle 206-877-7777 18+, No Exp. Necessary, Find Your # 888-634-2628 Auditions Everyday. Instant Cash $$$, FREE Code 7183 Clean, Safe Work Environment 1-888-MegaMates.com, 18+ No Agency Fees, No Bullshit. Make Your Own Schedule! Happier endings!!! Call 503-318-5939 Hot Sex With Hot Babes! Sign-Up For FREE & Get Laid Tonight! Hiring Bar Staff www.SexSearchOR.com Stars Cabaret Salem over 600 movies! Call (503) 370-8063 NOT A STORE! OR message us at VHS $3, DVDs $5 www.myspace.com/starscabaret Will consider all trades. 8am - 10:30pm Casino Dealers in demand Herm (360) 901-2856 Earn $20 - $40 Hr. w/Tips & Wage investor / operator seeks to purchase Local Casinos Are Hiring adult entertainment business Local School Now Enrolling (206) 778-9786 (360) 906-1579 italian male, bearded, age 64 Earn Great Money In Salem Bi-Sexual, 5’ 8 1/2” tall, 160 lbs. Quality Girls only please Would love to meet couples to service and Ladonna’s Exotic Lounge pleasure them. Sincere and considerate. (503) 371-9011 Call John (541) 515-2620 For the most pleasurable experience of your life! Hot, Sexy & Responsible? We want you! Busy lingerie ADVERTISE HERE modeling shop high quality clientele Classifieds • Classifieds • Classifieds • Classifieds • Classifieds • Classifieds • Classifieds • Classifieds • Classifieds • Classifieds Lots of $$$ – Call 888-859-4100 503-804-4479 64 exotic magazine | xmag.com exotic magazine | xmag.com
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36 exotic magazine | xmag.com exotic magazine | xmag.com 36 IT’D TAKE than so- MUCHO TIME called “good” AND EFFORT for me movies. You either to think of a single good already understand that film Hollywood has made in concept or it’s not worth the past thirty years, much less taking the time to counsel you a great one. I was just watching about it. the mind-blowing Der Golem (1920), which cements my opinion that I used to think that the only the Silent Era remains unsur- so-bad-it’s-good films came passed and untouchable. from the classic exploita- tion circuit of the 1950s But nearly everything pooped out and 1960s. I stand here naked by the big studios since the mid-1970s is today before all of you, as well as bad. And not in a good-bad, camp-bad, so- the superb God that we all worship, to bad-it’s-good sort of way. It’s all unwatchably admit that I was wrong. plastic and depressing. Hollywood has made some films since the mid-1970s I don’t want to dive into some ultra-gay Sontagian expla- which are psychedelically bad. I could watch any of the nation for why clumsily composed filmic artifacts tend movies listed below DOZENS of times. In the case of to have a more profound influence on the imagination Gigli, I believe I already have.
GIGLI (2003) I’ll be doggone if Gigli THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT with Ben Affleck and (2004) J-Lo isn’t one of the most entertaining I thought it was scientifically impossible for anyone offerings shat out by to be a worse actor than Ben Affleck. Again—I was Hollywood in a long, wrong. That actor is Ashton Kutcher, who is pulveriz- long time. ingly miscast in a “serious” role as a scraggly loner This movie has it all: haunted by flashbacks of his childhood involvement A pair-off of the worst in a kiddie-porn ring. Great prison sequence where male and female actors Kutcher’s being harassed by Aryan meanies, as well of this generation in the LEAD ROLES...a psycho, wrist-slashing lesbian as a hilariously cringe-inducing moment where an arm- stalker...a kidnapped RETARD who does, I shit you not, a capella ver- less Ashton can’t quite clutch a granola bar with his sions of “Baby Got Back” by Sir Mix-a-Lot and “I Need Love” artificial steel claw. The film is so disjointed, I by LL Cool J...and an extended scene wherein a yoga- suspect it may have directed by an performing J-Lo explains why she prefers pussy over cock. autistic manatee stuck in a K-hole. There are also cameos by Al Pacino and Christopher Walken where they both stumble around wondering what the fuck they’re doing there. It’s one of those rare gems that rock- ets way, way past “so bad it’s good” and inhabits some gorgeously weird stratosphere in which you’re constantly questioning reality...did you actually just watch Jennifer Lopez compare a penis to a salty slug?...Did you really just see Ben Affleck doing a Travis Bickle in the mirror?...Is the kidnapped retard truly gonna get some pooty tang from the hot Aussie chick? I recommend Gigli without reservation.
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36 exotic magazine | xmag.com exotic magazine | xmag.com 36 COCKTAIL (1988) It has taken the world nearly two decades to realize what I have known all along—Tom Cruise was not only the worst actor of his generation, but he may also be the craziest person ever to live. Hollywood films need a gimmick—Jaws had its murderous megalodon, King Kong had its giant ape, and Roll Bounce had its skating urban youth. In Cocktail, the gimmick designed to lure theatergoers was the fact that the two male pro- tagonists JUGGLED LIQUOR BOTTLES while preparing mixed drinks! Sometimes, they even JUGGLED IN UNISON while singing along to songs such as “Hippy Hippy Shake.” Hoo-doggy! I wants to see me some of that! Cruise plays a working-class kid who is, of course, searching for meaning. He physically assaults his employer after catching him swappin’ spit with a former flame of his, hightails it to Jamaica, fucks around with an incredibly wealthy girl who hides her wealth because she just wants to be loved for her irresistibly loveable self, cheats on her with a society matron, moves back to New York, dumps the matron, stalks the rich girl, and finally gets her. Aren’t you glad? Cocktail’s advertising tagline was WHEN HE POURS, HE REIGNS. Bonus points for these dialogue snippets: “I have never seen a club with such intense dance vibes.” “Champagne: Perfume going in, sewage coming out.” CAN’T STOP THE MUSIC (1980) KAZAAM (1996) The year was 1980, and those I’m amazed I’m still able to type lovable presumed homosexuals after watching this one, because called the Village People were I suspect that viewing it made riding the top of the charts as if me retarded. it were a giant hairy cock and Dusky sperm whale Shaquille they were a moist, red ass. O’Neal stars as a genie who Team ‘em up with whole- must grant three wishes to a wise- some Olympic athlete Bruce cracking white child in the ghetto Jenner, the pretty, vacant (?!?) seeking to make amends Valerie Perrine, and gooberific with a deadbeat music-producer Tom Hanks prototype Steve dad. Unforgivably overdone spe- Guttenberg—ALL of whom act cial effects and several adorable faggier than the Village People in this film—and you have what “rap” sequences make this one may be the most enjoyably Silly Fag Film in cinematic history. a keeper. Don’t miss Shaq’s mag- The lavish production number for the song “Milkshake”— ical boombox—it shoots sparks! featuring, if memory serves, giant milkshakes around which the boys writhe—puts Busby Berkeley to shame. What’s most surprising is how LIKEABLE every member of the Village People is. I know someone who used to hang out with PARADISE ALLEY (1978) them—which makes me jealous—and he says they were a blast. When you bolt out of the blue with a monster success such If this movie doesn’t make you fall in love with them, you must be as the first Rocky, studio executives presume you aren’t some some kind of fag. Oily Goombah Douche with a twelve-year-old jock boy’s naive sense of moviemaking and the all-important “arc.” This 1978 offering by Hollywood’s Dumbest Auteur is so bad, you can AVALANCHE (1994) SMELL it rolling in rancid waves off the screen. Stallone plays David Hasselhoff stars as a SERIAL KILLER who holds a family a shifty 1940s Hell’s Kitchen thug trying to pimp out his brain- hostage in a remote Alaskan cabin. Michael Gross (Family Ties, damaged brother as a pro wrestler. Intense overlong arm-wres- Cool as Ice) is tling scene foreshadows Sly’s later triumph, Over the Top. His the righteously musclebound ego outraged fam- even has his tone- ily father who deaf self warbling ultimately saves through the Barry the day. I only Manilowesque title caught fifteen song. He should minutes of this have at least had on Lifetime, but the decency to it was gold. Did hand over that I mention that task to a profes- exoticDavid magazine Hasselhoff | xmag.com exotic magazine | xmag.com sional singer—like stars as a SERIAL Frank Stallone. KILLER in it?
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