Counting Stars from Manhattan to San Francisco, 2016
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18 MICHELIN STARS, A SURVEY FROM MANHATTAN to SAN FRANCISCO Part 1 Travelogue/Humor by Manny Gonzalez, Plantation Bay Resort & Spa Michelin (mish-lanh) makes tires. In the early, early days of automobiles, tires didn’t last very many miles, so it was worthwhile for tire-makers to encourage people to drive more, to wear the tires out faster. Some bright person in Sales came up with the idea of the Michelin Guide, which would list the sights, hotels, and restaurants around France worth driving to. (The farther the better, one imagines.) Eventually Michelin settled into the current formula for grading restaurants in which One Star supposedly means “good in its class”; Two means “worth a detour”; and Three means “worth a special journey”. (Note the motoring language.) With these descriptions, you’d think there’d be tons of starred restaurants in virtually every city, but it’s actually a rather rare and much-coveted distinction, and a lot of people take their Michelin stars very seriously. Some years ago – and this is not a joke – a French chef committed suicide, reportedly because he feared a demotion from three to two stars. So, are the stars a good guide to dining pleasure? Let’s find out. In the course of a visit to New York I managed to eat at 9 Michelin-starred restaurants in New York and San Francisco, plus one formerly-starred. Andanada (1 Star). Now this one was an out-and-out disappointment. On the Upper West Side, just a bit north of Columbus Circle, Andanada is billed as a tapas restaurant. Situated in the basement of a brownstone, it featured rather basic sort-of-Hispanic décor, including a garish wall painting. One or two of the tapas were tasty, but the rest, as well as the main- course paella, were ordinary in the extreme. Most of New York seemed to agree with me: on a Sunday evening, despite a superb upscale-neighborhood location, it was about 20% full. Gramercy Tavern (1 Star) has regularly been voted New York’s Most Popular Restaurant, despite being in a not-ideal part of Manhattan. Owned by famed restaurateur Danny Meyer, it wound up in this part of town because he couldn’t afford the rents elsewhere (as he himself recounts), but the overall restaurant experience was so good that people came anyway. Dark and slightly clubby in appearance, the Tavern offers very competent food and warm service, and is a great place to get together with friends, especially friends who are willing to treat you at about $120 a head. To get a reservation here, mark the date you want to go, and exactly 30 days before (Eastern Standard/Daylight Time), go to the Union Square Hospitality Group’s website; they don’t accept earlier bookings, and you have about a 1 day window before a date sells out. La Grenouille (0 Stars). (luh-ghren-uy) Some years ago, this was the top restaurant in New York City, perfectly located just off Fifth Avenue, and mere mortals like us could not get in. But times changed, the stars fell away. I wondered How Are the Mighty Fallen? So I went there for lunch. The playful name means “The Frog”, from the love/hate British term for the French (“Frogs”). Which in turn comes from “frogs”, as in, to eat. Now, I have had frog, and I have the same thing to say about it as for snake, lizard, quail, partridge, grouse, pigeon, and most birds, including chicken: “Tastes like chicken”. So I did not have frog at La Grenouille, though they really serve it. What I did have was excellent, including an inexpensively-priced Dover Sole meuniere, and strawberry tarte. But as good as the food was, Michelin probably no longer considered it imaginative, one of the hypothesized cornerstone criteria (the others being terroir – use of local ingredients and influences, and technical skill), and hence the de-listing. (Michelin will not in fact disclose exactly what its criteria are, except to recite generalities about quality and consistency. But what its criteria do not include are décor and service, which means that 50-90% of what most people react to in a restaurant simply do not figure in Michelin stars.) If you are not bothered by the lack of Michelin acclaim, La Grenouille is still a great place to dine in. And the waiters (all French) have mellowed over the years (I guess). There was a guy beside me who was evidently from the Midwest, and ordered the “foy grass” for his young lady companion. All the servers kept perfectly straight faces. Marea (2 Stars). On Central Park South, Marea serves modern Italian to a well-heeled Midtown crowd and rich Chinese tourists (so it looked when I went). For a relatively-modest $80++ for the businessman’s lunch ($55) and a glass of wine ($25), I had a kind of asparagus dish and a mushroom risotto that were both knockouts, and a dessert of some kind that didn’t impress. What did impress (not that Michelin cares) was the service, by this guy in charge of the rear section, where they send all the marginal diners. This gentleman was the best server I have ever encountered in all my life; every word, every pause, every raise of the eyebrows, was carefully calculated to make you feel that Jeeves himself was waiting on you. It was awesome. Gabriel Kreuther (1 Star, rising fast). This chef used to work at another famed restaurant in Manhattan, then very recently opened his own place just around the corner from the New York Public Library and almost immediately was awarded a star. Kreuther has a bland, impersonal decorating scheme. However, as soon as you enter, a maitre d’ for your section (in my case, an African-American named Miguel) comes by to welcome you and put you at ease. The restaurant has a fairly standard 4-course prix fixe for a starting price of about $125 (plus supplements, wine, tip, and tax). My opener was very good - Compressed Hamachi, a sashimi tuna blended with foie gras and truffles and made into a stiff terrine. But it went downhill from there, to a caviar-and-sauerkraut tarte with the merest hint of caviar on it, then a competent but forgettable Novia Scotia halibut. Dessert was not good at all. “Millefeuille” means “thousand leaves”, a filo-like pastry with very thin sheets piled high, with something in between for flavor. (The Filipino Napoleon is a millefeuille, for example.) But all over the world, lazy chefs are just constructing something like an Oreo and calling it millefeuille, and that’s what Gabriel Kreuther did. He and his French chef should know better. to be continued. Next Week: Part 2 Columbus Circle, seen from inside the Time-Warner Building, which houses several restaurants the author couldn’t get reservations at, such as Thomas Keller’s Per Se. (But he got in to Keller's French Laundry in Napa Valley; see next installment.) La Grenouille is a peach-and-pink bomb. No amount of Photoshop-ing could get rid of the tint. This shot was taken at 12 noon on the dot; the place was full by 12:45. Though a little cluttered, Gramercy Tavern is regarded by many as the Most Popular Restaurant in New York City. After lunch at Marea, the $50 for a 20-minute carriage ride in Central Park seems downright affordable. Gabriel Kreuther’s Compressed Hamachi was the highlight of the meal. 18 MICHELIN STARS, A SURVEY FROM MANHATTAN to SAN FRANCISCO Part 2 Travelogue/Humor by Manny Gonzalez, Plantation Bay Resort & Spa Last week we started our survey of Michelin-starred restaurants in New York. Now for a quick hop to San Francisco, before returning to Manhattan. The French Laundry (3 Stars), Napa Valley. This was the surprise of my culinary journey, because I never expected to even get in. For over a decade, The French Laundry has been regarded as the best restaurant in North America, so most people need to reserve a year in advance. However, if you have VIP connections as I do, maybe you can cut the line. When I told an old friend I was passing through San Francisco in a couple of weeks, he asked which restaurant I’d like to go to. I said The French Laundry, fully expecting him to laugh at me. But, two days later, he said we were good to go. And we went. See picture. If you need a reservation at The French Laundry on short notice, you need to go to this man. Not me. The other one, who apparently is the Godfather of Chinatown, while his wife must be an Empress Dowager emeritus or something equivalent. As we motored up to Yountville, of course I insisted that I would pay the bill. Of course they said yes. When we arrived, the general manager, Michael Minillo, greeted us at the door and said “Mr. and Mrs. ____, it’s so nice to see you back” (I omit the name in case he is being watched by the FBI or the IRS). I have to admit I was impressed, but there was more to come. At our table, the best in the house, there was an ornate card. See picture. It was a personal note from Thomas Keller, the celebrity chef-owner, wishing my hosts and “your guest” (that’s me) a wonderful evening. Whoa, I remarked to myself, this was heavy-duty Clout by any standard. But things got out of control from there, when the sommelier appeared with a bottle of Dom Perignon ’08 and without asking permission just opened it.