HARASS

RUDE MEAN

BULLY DEFINING BAD BEHAVIORS

We hear many concerns about bullying each year.

We need to make a clear distinction between: • Behavior that is rude • Behavior that is mean • Behavior that is characteristic of bullying How Rude!

RUDE = Adjective

Definitions: • Not having or showing concern or respect for the rights and feelings of others • Offensive in manner or action

Synonyms: crude, rough, unrefined, uncouth, uncivilized, vulgar How Rude!

INADVERTENTLY saying or doing something that hurts Someone else.

Examples of rude behavior: • Burping in someone’s face • Cutting in the lunch line • Bragging about doing better than someone else

Rude behavior tends to be spontaneous, unplanned, inconsiderate, based on thoughtlessness, poor manners or narcissism THEY’RE JUST SO MEAN!

MEAN = Adjective

Definitions: • Unkind, cruel, or inconsiderate of others • Used to describe people who hurt others and do not feel sorry about it • Causing or helping to cause suffering

Synonyms: atrocious, barbaric, barbarous, brutal, brute, butcherly, fiendish, heartless, inhumane, sadistic, savage, truculent, vicious, wanton THEY’RE JUST SO MEAN!

Purposefully saying or doing something to hurt someone once (or maybe twice).

The main difference between RUDE and MEAN has to do with INTENTION! • RUDE behavior is often unintentional • MEAN behavior aims to hurt someone

Examples of MEAN behavior: • Criticizing someone’s clothing, appearance, intelligence, etc. • Laughing at another’s expense • Calling someone a name MEANNESS

Mean Behavior is motivated by angry feelings and/or the misguided goal of making oneself feel better by putting someone else down.

Mean Behavior can hurt others; however, meanness is different from bullying in important ways that need to be understood. PEER CONFLICT

• Rude and Mean behaviors often lead to Peer Conflict.

• Peer conflicts tend to be minor incidents, disagreements, no injuries involved, a balance of power exists, no pattern of issues, can be quickly resolved.

Examples of PEER CONFLICT: • An argument over the ownership of an item • A heated discussion over differing viewpoints • Jokingly saying “Hey, stupid!” to another student HARASSMENT

Aggressive behavior focused on a student's race, national origin, religion, color, disability, or sex. Behavior is severe, persistent or pervasive enough to interfere with a student's ability to participate in or benefit from school.

Harassment may only occur a single time, but due to the serious nature it may interfere with a student’s ability to concentrate in his/her classes.

Examples of HARASSMENT: • Negative comments about a person’s religious beliefs • Teasing a student with a handicap • Making a verbal assumption about a person based on their race BULLYING

BULLYING = Verb

Definitions: • To treat abusively • To affect by means of force or coercion • To use browbeating language or behavior

Synonyms: brutalize, abuse, ill- treat, ill-use, kick around, maltreat, manhandle, mess with (slang), mistreat, misuse TYPES OF BULLYING

Physical Aggression – Hitting, kicking, punching, beating people up, spitting, knocking item’s out of others’ hands, slamming someone’s locker shut, defacing property

Verbal Aggression – Name-calling, making jokes, insults, racist or sexist comments, put-downs, taunting, threats, spreading rumors

Relational Aggression – Purposely ignoring, excluding, embarrassing, humiliating, shunning, hazing, rejecting, spreading rumors

Cyberbullying – “Willful and repeated harm inflicted through the use of computers, cell phones, and other electronic devices.” The likelihood of repeated harm is higher with cyberbullying because electronic messages can be accessed by multiple people, resulting in repeated exposure and harm. BULLYING

BULLYING has three key elements:

• An intent to harm • Repeated acts or threats of aggressive behavior • An imbalance of power

People who bully say or do something to hurt someone on purpose, they keep doing it with no sense of regret or remorse, even if the victim shows he/she is hurt and asks the bully to stop. SO WHY MAKE THIS DISTINCTION?

• More attention is being given to bullying like never before, mostly due to our culture of social media.

• There are now anti-bullying laws in 49 states, including IDAHO.

• This is significant and now more than ever students have a voice!

However, we are seeing students and parents improperly classifying rudeness and mean behavior as BULLYING. WHEN YOU REPORT BULLYING

• The information remains anonymous. • The information goes to an administrator/counselor. • An administrator/counselor will follow up on the report within two school days. • This tool is not meant to be used for emergencies. HOW TO REPORT CONCERNS

• Go to the RHS Home Page.

• Find the “Safety Concern" icon and click on it.

• This will lead you to the reporting site.

• Click on the RHS Reporting Site link.