May 16, 2011 • 138/2 • FREE www.the-peak.ca | Kind of like a pokémon since 1965

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SFU scientists discover fossilized the size of

NEWS 4 May 16, 2011 tVolume 138 Issue 2 2 FIRST PEEK THE PEAK THIS WEEK Maggie Benston 2900 Simon Fraser University 8888 University Drive Burnaby, B.C., V5A 1S6

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THIS WEEK’S CONTRIBUTORS Kate Beaton, Tomas Borsa (CUP), Pei Pei Chu, Coriana Constanda, Shawn Fagan, Kyle Lees (CUP), Christopher Nichols, Lea Silver

PEAK ASSOCIATES Jennifer Bednard, Ronil Desai, Andrew MacLachlan, Edward Mah, Dan McPeake, Adam Ovenell-Carter

COPY EDITOR Erika Zell [email protected]

DESIGN AND PRODUCTION EDITOR Adam Cristobal [email protected]

NEWS EDITOR David Proctor [email protected]

ASSOCIATE NEWS EDITOR Kendra Wong [email protected]

FEATURES EDITOR Kelly Thoreson [email protected]

ARTS EDITOR Clinton Hallahan [email protected] 778.990.3854 Entomologist Bruce Archibald talks to The Peak OPINIONS EDITOR Graham Templeton [email protected] about the implications of the giant fossilized ant 4 SFU research discovered by his team SPORTS EDITOR Matt Lee [email protected]

PHOTO EDITOR Bai Yin [email protected]

HUMOUR EDITOR Colin Sharp [email protected]

BUSINESS / ADVERTISING MANAGER AD DESIGNER, AND PRODUCTION RESOURCE Larry van Kampen News Opinions Features [email protected] 778.782.3598 –– TSSU unhappy with Can I still cheer if I don’t Bar habits,

WEB EDITOR Colin Sharp contract negotiations have a beard? bad habits [email protected] 5 8 12 Union claims university It’s hard for lady hockey Our bar habits increase NETWORK ADMINISTRATOR is unwilling to engage in fans to express their love our vulnerability to hav- Andrew Yang contract bargaining. during playoff time. ing our drinks drugged. [email protected]

PROMOTIONS COORDINATOR Ramesh Ranjan [email protected]

DISTRIBUTION & ARCHIVES COORDINATOR Robert Lutener Arts Sports Humour [email protected]

ELECTED COLUMNISTS Review: Lukawesky powers Clan to Lower Mainland men prep Esther Tung and Ms. X 14 17 NAIA championships 32 for DoucheTrek THIS WEEK’S COVER ARTWORK Does the god of thunder SFU pitcher Cara Lu- You had to know it would Adam Cristobal make any noise? Find out kawesky went undefeated be made fun of somehow. with our review. at the A.I.I. tourney. WWW.THE-PEAK.CA

HOW THE PEAK WORKS The Peak is the official student newspaper of Simon Fraser University and is published every Monday. The Peak is a registered non-profit society under the Society Act of British Columbia and is funded by a student levy and is governed by a board of directors. Editors are elected on week 10 of each semester to hold txt a position for the following semester. Any SFU student can run for an editorial position. Eligible voters are Send ur short TXT MSGS to 1 (778) 990-3854 or email to [email protected]. anyone who appears in the masthead. Notice of the **Plz include TXT in the email subject line. The Peak will not print submissions considered to be sexist, racist, homophobic, or attacks of a personal nature. time and place of the election will be posted in the ETC msgs section of The Peak in advance.

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The Peak is a member of the Canadian University Press (CUP), a samoan. » someone has been chewing » Free Earl. national organization of Canadian student newspapers. » david proctor s article on the On my rubber tit. First world greens was excellent! read the » The highland is closed? But problems. » If by tub you mean SEX! the peak FIRST PEEK May 16, 2011 3

PEAK SPEAK GIRL ON GIRLS Q: How do you feel about The next steps for 10 safe injection sites? feminism Having achieved most failure to make real progress and change. Patricia Popa of its original goals, the So where does that leave us now? What should the fourth 2nd-year general science question now becomes: wave, which we are undoubt- edly amidst, cover? What does “I have a strong opinion when it comes to pot, where does feminism go it need to accomplish, and will but I’m not so sure about safe injection sites. It’s it? What are its themes? How like accepting the idea of letting people do drugs. from here? much of it can we control? So I guess I’m against it.” I have observed a move to- wards a more moderate, tem- pered feminism that revisits Esther Tung its politically and socially pro- Elected Columnist gressive roots without pushing Caitlyn Mccoleman aside the importance of the MA candidate, psychology Feminism is dead, so they say. individual. Here is my pro- The label has become a bit of posed outline for the new age “It scares me that they’re in the news again and a taboo, while interest and ac- of feminism: they may not be available in the future. I think tivism have declined over the Rather than trying to beat they’re a great idea.” years. Questions have been men at their game by play- raised over its relevance, and I ing by their rules, we should have to agree with many of the reclaim spaces and redefine criticisms of the current femi- them with a female context. A nist establishment. mother cannot be held to the Feminism has had the priv- same standards for success as Amber Hay ilege of becoming well-devel- a single man. Children should MA candidate, public health oped in the West, though that become a part of her success, is only in comparison to, well, not outside of it. “I’m in the faculty of health science, so I think that the rest of the world. It cannot We should celebrate com- on a health basis alone, they’re very important. So, even begin to exist in poverty- plexity and holism, and return I‘m for them.” stricken places like sub-Saha- value to feminine qualities, in- ran Africa. Even in the affluent cluding sexuality. Saudi Arabia, women risk ar- We must begin to extend rest and beatings should they more helping hands towards attempt to vote. areas where feminism has not begun or is in its early stages. Emrah Gorgulu We should celebrate The fight for gender equality PhD candidate, linguistics is far from over; there is the complexity and rest of the world to go. On- “It’s good to have these institutions. If it doesn’t holism, and return line spaces have been a major promote drug use, so long as it’s under control, value to feminine component in this, at least in they seem OK to me.” connecting with more indus- qualities, including trialized nations such as Saudi sexuality. Arabia. Finally, total inclusion of all women is necessary to the First-wave feminism strove progress of feminism, as well to establish voting rights for as working closely with other Alvin Wong women. Second-wave activ- genders, as opposed to the cur- 2nd-year health science ism took place mostly between rent, prevailing ‘us versus the the ‘60s and ‘80s, and its prin- world’ mentality. While we now “I think I’m against it. It’s too close to legalizing ciples still exist, though often embrace women of all income drugs, it doesn’t help keep people from using.” disharmoniously, with third- classes, ethnicity, and gender wave feminism. The former orientation, there remains a stresses social activism, while deep divide between those of the latter movement focuses different political views. Con- on personal empowerment. servative and liberal-minded The pro-male, pro-sex sen- feminists constantly under- timents of third-wave femi- mine each other. nism, best characterized by I hope that feminism will the main cast of Sex and the evolve to have themes so uni- City and lifestyle magazines versal that the entire political such as Cosmopolitan, arose spectrum may come to agree WANT TO SAY MORE? in part to combat backlash on them fully, and that femi- from its predecessor that nism will be the vehicle for painted feminists as man- unity of all gender identities hating lesbians. Its triumphs, across geographical and philo- Come write for The Peak! Find out more such as being more inclusive sophical boundaries to work towards working-class, col- towards the common cause of at our collective meetings, Wednesdays ored, and LGBTQ women, are restoring women’s power and usually overshadowed by its voices. at 6:00 p.m. in MBC 2900. WANT TO WRITE IN THIS SPACE? Two columnists are elected in week 11 of each semester. Keep your eyes on the ETC section of the newspaper for election dates and times. Anyone can run!

the peak May 16, 2011 news editor David Proctor associate news editor Kendra Wong email [email protected] 4 NEWS phone 778.782.3597

CAMPUS NEWS SFU scientists discover new giant ant species

The new species called, Titanomyrma lubei, was discovered by SFU entomologist Bruce Archibald (pictured above) at the Denver Bai Yin / The Peak Museum of Nature and Science in Colorado.

New ant species sheds The , believed to be a explained that the specimen is The discovery has also lead to “The reason why these epi- new species of giant ant called Ti- believed to be closely related to a new understanding of the time sodes of intense global warm- light on the tanomyrma lubei, was discovered an ant species in that period known as the Eocene. ing [are important] is because in Colorado at the Denver Mu- is normally found in tropical cli- During the Eocene, when the we looked at the timing of those Epoch and lends itself to seum of Nature and Science and mates such as Southeast Asia, the continents were situated more and realized that [hyperther- geochemsists’ hypothesis can be dated as far back as the Amazon, and Africa. closely together, land bridges mal events] could have provided Eocene . existed to connect and an opportunity for those about hyperthermal events Archibald, who was attend- The giant ant fossil allowing mam- to get across the arctic if there ing a geology conference at the mals and other warm-blooded were these brief global warming time, was asked by museum cura- further proves to make the journey from events,” he said. tor Kirk Johnson to examine some that cold-blooded one continent to the other, ex- The fossil further proves that Kendra Wong that had yet to be identi- animals had made plained Mathewes. cold-blooded animals had made Associate News fied which led to the discovery. Geochemists have docu- the move across the Arctic. Editor “We don’t know where it the move across mented hyperthermal events, or “I think that everyone gets ex- originated, but we do know that the Arctic. short periods when climates de- cited about anything giant,” said A group of four scientists, in- around 50 million years ago, veloped into extremely warm cli- Mathewes about the discovery. cluding SFU entomologist Bruce it was present on both sides of mates and then cooled off again, “The fact that there’s this global Archibald and professor of pa- the Atlantic in both Europe and “We have the one fossil [in during the Eocene. warming link to it suggests that leoecology and palynology Rolf North America,” said Archibald. North America] with the body According to Archibald, these these global warming events have Mathewes, have identified an “We don’t know which direction and there’s a loose wing. There’s winged , which would happened in the past — they do approximately 49.5-million-year- the [ant] started in or which di- very little in the way of fossil have been weak flyers, are evi- have biological consequences.” old fossil of a giant winged ant, rection it went.” material in North America, but dence that the giant ants would Archibald is currently in pos- comparable in size to a hum- While the giant ant is the in Germany there are vast num- have had to cross the arctic re- session of the fossil, however he mingbird, that is the first of its first of its kind to be discovered bers of beautifully preserved gions during these hyperthermal said it will soon be returned to its kind in North America. in North America, Archibald specimens.” periods. home in Colorado. the peak NEWS May 16, 2011 5

CAMPUS NEWS SFU MBB student takes top prize in business TSSU unhappy with competition contract negotiations

Union representing TAs haven’t had any substantive en- “They’re not acknowledging two-year contracts that include gagement or response from the that there is a significant prob- no net increases in compensa- and sessional instructors university.” lem that needs to be changed,” tion costs. Although wage in- accuses university of Specifically, Blok reports he added. “I think it’ll be a mat- creases are allowed under this that while the TSSU has made a ter of demonstrating to the mandate, they must be balanced failing to engage in number of proposals to address administration and to the uni- with cost reductions in other issues raised by its member- versity community that there compensation areas such as Image courtesy of Google substantive contract ship and change the language actually are some issues, there benefits. bargaining in the contract, university ne- are ways of making things bet- Blok asserted that many of A molecular biology and bio- gotiators have responded to all ter here . . . The more that we the changes that the university chemistry grad student won first of the proposals by saying that can make that apparent to folks, has rejected have nothing to do place along with a $500 cash prize the university does not agree if the administration is pay- with compensation, however, in the annual SFU Business Con- that a problem exists and that ing attention, hopefully we can the examples of proposing that cept Competition at the end of it will not agree to the changes. get back to the table to address SFU graduate students be given April. David Proctor The sole exception, according to these issues.” priority when the university is Suraaj Aulakh, a New West- News Editor Blok, was a change to the name hiring TAs, and of taking mea- minster native, was the only fe- of a position. “[The university sures to improve job security for male science student to make it The union that represents SFU’s University administration administration is] sessional instructors. to the final round of the competi- TAs, sessional instructors, and did not comment on the accusa- On the possibility of taking tion for her 10-minute multime- other teaching support employ- tions; representatives from the not acknowledging job action, Blok stated that “it’s dia presentation regarding the ees is going public with its frus- university’s human resources that there is a always there in the background. educational opportunities of her tration with the current round of and media relations offices de- significant problem At the end of the day, nobody business concept for LabTricks. contract negotiations, claiming clined The Peak’s requests for wants to have a strike . . . [it will] com. that the university administra- an interview, explaining that the that needs to be be a matter of what kind of re- The online company, founded tion is refusing to engage in sub- university does not discuss con- changed.” sponse we get from the adminis- a year ago by Aulakh and five stantive bargaining. tract negotiations away from the tration around things and what other MBB students, including The Teaching Support Staff bargaining table. kind of response we get from Daniel Chiang, Charles Stevens, Union’s most recent contract By contrast, Blok suggested Joel Blok, TSSU chief steward the membership about things. Kelly Kim, Cindy Li, and Linda expired on March 30, 2010, that the TSSU is making their At this point, there hasn’t been Zhang, aims to ease the transition and while negotiations started complaints public in order to much conversation around that, from coursework to lab work for the following summer, they put pressure on the adminis- Since the university’s bar- but it’s always there in the air science students. Not only do the grounded to a halt this past tration. “We absolutely want gaining team is negotiating a whenever bargaining happens.” founders write, shoot, produce, March when the TSSU took a to bargain,” he said. “We want public-sector contract, they “One of the things that we and post their own videos, they break from the bargaining table to have a contract, as well. In are bound by the terms of the want the university to engage in also provide students with inside to consult with its membership. terms of getting them to the provincial government’s Public and discuss, is that we do a lot tips about executing various lab The problem, according to table, to some extent that’s a Sector Employers Council nego- of the teaching here,” Blok con- techniques. TSSU chief steward, Joel Blok, is decision that they’re going to tiating mandate, which specifies cluded. “We want to see them According to Aulakh, the pro- that “from our perspective, we have to make.” that employers must negotiate actually value that teaching.” cess of learning lab work from textbooks can confuse and over- whelm new students, therefore LabTricks functions as an alterna- tive visual learning tool that could lead to more student success with different lab techniques. Learn how to write the news! The grads drew on their own personal experiences when cre- ating the website. “We’re grad students, so we work in labs ev- Get experience: eryday. During our undergrad we - conducting interviews found it difficult to learn from textbooks, there was less of a vi- - writing hard-hiting journalism sual element,” said Aulakh. This is not the first time that - networking LabTricks has received recogni- tion for its work within education. Last fall, the LabTricks video Se- Come to our collective meetings on quence Me also won first place and a $3,500 prize at the Gene Wednesdays at 6:00 p.m. in Screen B.C. film competition. “It’s a new way of learning,” MBC 2900 or come at said Aukakh of the website that 6:30 p.m. for our news meetings! is used by students around the world. “We’re trying to make this so students have access to a more easy method of learning.”

— Kendra Wong

the peak 6 May 16, 2011 NEWS

CAMPUS NEWS GSS impeachment Study reveals how attempt fails Congress sees Canada Aftermath of GSS election Ultimately, none of the candi- dates that received endorse- controversy includes ments were elected. At the April 18 GSS coun- failed motion to impeach cil meeting, a new motion was two executive committee proposed to impeach execu- tive committee members Sarah members Chown and Thomas Unsoeld over their involvement in call- David Proctor ing the emergency meeting. News Editor According to the draft minutes of the April meeting, Kevin Par- Echoes of the controversy that tridge, one of the sponsors of plagued the SFU Graduate Stu- the motion, argued that Chown dent Society’s officer election and Unsoeld’s efforts in orga- in March lasted well into April, nizing the emergency meeting when the GSS council con- contravened the spirit of the sidered a motion to impeach GSS constitution, though other two members of the executive councillors argued that the committee. sections of the bylaws that he The controversy originally cited referred to the electoral centered around a set of en- committee, not the executive dorsements distributed to committee. members of the third-party According to the draft min- Teaching Support Staff Union. utes, Chown and Unsoeld, who When the GSS electoral com- represent the health science mittee decided it had no au- and biological science caucuses thority to mete out any pun- in addition to sitting on the ex- ishment over the move, a ecutive committees, argued March 21 emergency council that they were representing the meeting was called to con- concerns of their department sider disbanding the com- caucuses when they called the mittee. Concerns were raised meeting. about the motion’s legality, The motion to impeach was however, and the meeting ultimately defeated by a vote of The researchers examined transcripts of the debates that occurred in the Image courtesy of Andy Withers was adjourned without a vote. 11–4, with four abstentions. Capitol building between 2001 and 2010.

Study co-written by SFU a press release Moens said that about the threat of terrorists it “should be of interest to Ca- staging attacks from Canada re- prof examines the attitudes nadians and Americans alike. mains high.” Improved cooperation is the Free is another sore of U.S. lawmakers toward key to North American prosper- point for the Americans. Sup- NOTICE OF STUDENT ELECTION – SUMMER 2011 Canadian policy ity and security and this study port drops dramatically among is based on that premise.” both democrats and repub- CALL FOR NOMINATIONS FOR STUDENT licans once cheaper access to REPRESENTATIVES ON SENATE Dan McPeake American prescription drugs Peak Associate Congress gives is taken away. Most American A call for nominations has been issued to elect !ve Canada high marks lawmakers also feel that Cana- students by and from the student body, with at least one Canada and the U.S. have al- on matters of da’s universal health care sys- student elected from: ways had close ties, both po- tem is unsuitable for the U.S. litically and socially. But what the environment, economy.  r'BDVMUZPG$PNNVOJDBUJPO "SUBOE5FDIOPMPHZ do American officials really foreign affairs, and On the positive side, U.S. think of our governing policies? legislators are quick to heap  r'BDVMUZPG&EVDBUJPO Simon Fraser political science energy exports, praise on Canada’s contribu-  r'BDVMUZPG4DJFODF professor Alex Moens thinks he but are less tions to the North Atlantic  r(SBEVBUF4UVEFOU4PDJFUZ has the answer. enthusiastic about Treaty Organization (NATO), Moens is the co-author of a especially when it comes to 5IFUFSNPGPąDFJTGSPN+VOF UP.BZ  new report released by the Fra- health care, border matters of defence and the 'PSJOGPSNBUJPOPO4FOBUFQMFBTFHPUP ser Institute, where he is a se- security and free continued presence of armed IUUQXXXTGVDBTFOBUF nior fellow, which indicates how forces in Afghanistan. We also the U.S. Congress rates Canada trade. received high scores from the Nomination Deadline: on certain issues. In his analysis, U.S. on our capacity for energy .POEBZ .BZ !QN OPPO Congress gives us high marks The report notes that U.S. production and the Canadian on matters of the environment, lawmakers feel that Canada’s protection record. foreign affairs, and energy ex- border security is too lax, simi- Moens summarized the re- Nomination Forms and Election Information: ports. However, they don’t seem lar to Mexico, and is especially sults of the study by stating, IUUQTUVEFOUTTGVDBFMFDUJPOTTUVEFOUTIUNM to give us the same grade on is- weak on terrorism. Some sena- “Our analysis shows that re- sues such as health care, border tors even contend that Canada publicans have tended to be 2VFTUJPOTNBZCFEJSFDUFEUPUIF&MFDUPSBM0ąDFS  security, and free trade. was the entry point for the 9/11 very assertive in their dismissal 4FOBUF"DBEFNJD4FSWJDFTBUPS The report analyzes tran- hijackers, while others believe of Canada’s system, while dem- TIFMMFZ@HBJS!TGVDB scribed congressional debates that we have a large cache of ocrats did not explicitly defend about Canada and its policies narcotics and illicit drugs. Ex- it as an appropriate model for between 2001 and 2010, and in plains Moens: “Their concern the U.S.” the peak NEWS May 16, 2011 7

CAMPUS NEWS Post-secondary news briefs

Canada — The University of British Columbia has been SFU enlists in climate named the first-ever Cana- dian Fair Trade Campus by Fair Trade Canada. The university’s efforts to become a fair trade change battle campus span as far back as 2004, when the university ad- opted fair trade coffee; since then, they have expanded to include chocolate bars, teas, and tropical fruits. In addi- tion, UBC has also created a committee with the designated job of advancing fair trade pur- chasing at campus food out- lets. UBC joins the ranks of hundreds of other universities around the world that have had similar commitments.

Canada — According to a study in the British journal Brain, Behavior, and Immunity, re- searchers have concluded that people with higher levels of education age at a slower rate than others. Four hundred and fifty people participated in the study during which research- ers examined the length of par- ticipants’ DNA telomeres. The study found that those with lower levels or education had longer telomeres, while those with higher levels of education had longer ones; the shorter the telomeres, the more ad- vanced the aging process was shown to be.

U.S. — A class in human sexual- ity taught at Northwestern Uni- One of the SFU-led projects will examine the Alouette River basin, pictured above, and study how Image courtesy of Harold Wright versity in Chicago by psychol- human uses of water affect ecosystems downstream. ogy professor J. Michael Bailey, has been canceled after the prof SFU’s reputation as a top “Linking British Columbia’s The topics range from the future through to our willing- conducted an after school lec- climate researchers together, implications of a carbon tax ness as a society to wean our- ture which featured a demon- research institution is and with other national and to ecosystems along the coast selves off carbon and move to stration of a female orgasm. The international researchers, will of British Columbia, but they a renewable energy sector. Re- lecture, which was not manda- being put to the test with help us develop and apply all fall under the four main search needs to encompass all tory, involved two married guest new funding for climate knowledge to British Columbia themes: ecosystems that prove these aspects,” said Tom Ped- speakers demonstrating how to situations,” said David Turpin, resilient, an economy based on ersen, the executive director of give an orgasm with the help of change projects president of the University of low carbon emissions, sustain- PICS, about the vast areas of a motorized sex toy. The univer- Victoria. “It will also ensure able communities, and mo- research involved. sity announced last week that Jennifer Bednard that research is meaningfully bilizing the people of British The projects will be carried the class would not be offered and Kendra Wong transferred to government, Columbia. out mainly by the province’s in the fall, however, they did not The Peak industry, and the public, and four major research universi- provide an official reason as to secure B.C.’s leadership in this “The impact from ties, but will also receive help why it was canceled; Bailey will Last Tuesday, the Pacific Insti- important area.” human-caused from a variety of other pro- be assigned alternate teaching tute for Climate Solutions, a PICS funding will be dis- vincial resources, explained duties. think-tank composed of mem- tributed across 27 different climate change Pedersen. bers from the top research projects between the four in- will increasingly “The majority of the proj- — It was confirmed last universities in British Co- stitutions; of the $1.8 million, be felt across our ect teams [involve] inter-uni- Wednesday that controversial lumbia, announced $1.8 mil- SFU researchers will receive versity researchers as well as first-time MP Ruth Ellen Bros- lion in funding for additional $682,950 to find solutions to environment, our experts from within govern- seau did not graduate from St. research into climate change, climate problems. economy, and our ment, the private sector, and Lawrence College, as stated in almost $700,000 of which will Mark Jaccard from the Fac- other research bodies. Such her biography on the NDP’s be invested in climate research ulty of Environment, Chris way of life.” collective intellectual effort website. Since then, the party projects involving SFU. Bataille, a professor from the will help ensure B.C. has the has removed any references to The PICS is a collaborative School of Resource and Envi- sound research base it needs Brosseau’s education on the Tom Pedersen, PICS effort between SFU and three ronmental Management, Mark executive director to develop innovative climate party website. other Canadian institutions — Roseland, the director of SFU’s change policies.” the University of Victoria, the Centre for Sustainable Com- “The impact from human- The Pacific Institute for Complied with files from University of British Columbia, munity Development, and caused climate change will Climate Solutions was cre- Maclean’s. and the University of Northern Michael Howlett, a political increasingly be felt across our ated in 2008 when the B.C. British Columbia, which aims science professor, will lead or environment, our economy, government approved over — Kendra Wong to generate multi-disciplinary co-chair five out of the 10 proj- and our way of life, from the $90 million in funding for the solutions to climate change. ects involving the university. food we will be able to grow in organization. the peak May 16, 2011

opinions editor Graham Templeton email [email protected] 8 OPINIONS phone 778.782.4560

FEMALE FANS » WOOHOO Can I still cheer if I don’t have a beard?

It’s hard for lady hockey fans to express their love come playoff time Slam poetry Coriana Constanda SFU Student Slam poetry is what poetry is supposed to be. It’s raw, it’s As I write this, the Canucks vulnerable, it’s real. It can have scored their second be articulate and detatched, against the but the performace aspect in the game that will determine really takes it to that next whether they advance to the level. Western Conference finals. Don’t get me wrong, Everywhere I look, guys are there’s some pretty cliché, sporting playoff beards — some emo stuff out there. Girls full and gnarly, others sparse talking about their angry but well intentioned. Regard- breasts and guys talking less of their beard-growing ca- about their angry breasts. pacity, all these guys have one That sort of stuff. thing in common: the ability to But a lot of it is good. demonstrate an overt symbol of You have to get past a fair support for their favourite team amount of pretentious by joining the players in not re- moustaches and stupid hats moving their facial hair. and there’s way too much Started in the 1980s by the talking about how men are New York Islanders and solidi- all evil and sexually violent. fied by the Predators captain Shea Weber knows how to show his enthusiasm. Image courtesy of nhl.com But shit, what genre of in 1995, the playoff beard is expression do you not have a practice whereby an NHL raise awareness and funds for and wax their way into the an- favourite teams, they also par- to at least partially apologize player does not shave his beard prostate cancer. Although cer- nals of fine moustachery.” It take in sports themselves. There- for, these days? Try defend- while in the play- tainly for a worthy cause, this doesn’t specify what outward fore, they should have the same, ing rap without a few guilty offs. He stops shaving upon his annual month-long event com- support these women provide, or equivalent, options as men to caveats! team entering the and pletely excludes women from or how women can otherwise show their support accordingly. does not shave again until his joining their “Mo Bros” and participate in the actual cam- So, would introducing a fe- team has either won the Stanley actively participating in this paign. There is no such exclu- male equivalent of the playoff Cup or has been eliminated. effort. sory equivalent when it comes beard catch on? Seemingly, a » BOOHOO As great as it is to have hun- to men participating in aware- couple of lady Washington Capi- dreds of hairy fans unified in dis- Sure, us gals can ness or fundraising for women’s tals fans attempted to start a playing approval and encourage- cancers. Luckily, however, there “Rock the Bush” campaign this ment of their favourite team, this wear jerseys and is the Father’s Day Walk/Run year. tradition is problematic in that it lucky socks, but by for Prostate Cancer in June, in Now, if unruly pubes is your excludes hundreds more female which anyone can take part. idea of showing support for the fans from participating. our genetic makeup The entire objective of the Canucks, be my guest. But since Sure, us gals can wear jerseys we are barred from playoff beard is to create unity the effort is completely unno- and lucky socks, watch or at- joining our male and demonstrate support for ticeable, it also defeats the pur- tend games, but by our genetic NHL players and teams, but how pose. Ceasing to wax one’s legs makeup we are barred from counterparts in can fans be united when a large might be a plausible alterna- Regular poetry joining our male counterparts physically displaying portion is excluded from partici- tive, but we live in Vancouver, in physically and continuously pating? Consequently, the playoff so good luck showing those off. Maybe it’s just me, but isn’t art displaying our enthusiasm for our enthusiasm. beard phenomenon serves to re- My suggestion: armpit hair. supposed to make sense? Don’t our favourite team — and also inforce the notion that only men Whether you’re at home, at the get me wrong, poetry used to be for the game itself. The Movember website notes enjoy watching or participating in bar, or at a game, there’s no way great. “The Hollow Men”, “The This reminds me a lot of that “supported by the women sports, which of course is untrue. your untamed pits will go un- Tiger”, et cetera. But these days? Movember: a worldwide mous- in their lives . . . these selfless Women the world over not noticed while you raise your These days, it’s just super tache-growing campaign to and generous men groom, trim, only follow the progress of their arms in celebration! abstract bullshit that gets all the attention. There is a famous, highly successful recent book that is literally nothing but dicta- tion of a year’s worth of weather reports. We get it, you are doing the linguistic version of painting a red triangle and calling it “The Plight of Man”. You’re a fuck- Thoughts? ing artistic savant, we’re all very INSITE impressed. Now go write some God damned poetry. Surely you can put aside your insecurities long [email protected] enough to do something beyond show me how little you care. Talk about gender, or something. You probably love that shit.

- Caroline Kiefa

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2011025POR_Loft Ad Design_Peak_May16_P1.indd 1 5/9/11 4:30:20 PM

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METAL CULTURE Black metal: Fun for the whole family Even among metalheads, Vikernes, described as “the most notorious metal musician of all this subgenre is time”, donated all of the funds from controversial his newest album, Belus, to victims of the Haitian earthquake. As wildly Tomas Borsa contradictory as this might be for The Sheaf a guy who openly embraces Ger- manic Paganism, it illustrates an SASKATOON (CUP) — What dif- important point. Like the people ferentiates one subgenre of metal who listen to it, the culture of black from the next is a combination of metal is hardly homogenous. lyrical themes, the style of guitar For another salient example, work, and the vocal style — from consider Gaahl, lead singer of one low growls to wailing falsetto of black metal’s most ungodly acts screeches. of all, Gorgoroth. Sure, he’s a viru- Among the more popular of lent anti-Semite, Satanist (duh), these countless offshoots are thrash and a fan of torture — having been metal (fast, unrelenting, and with accused of assaulting a man, col- lyrics concerning social issues); This is Gaahl of the black metal band Gorgoroth. He is terrifying. Image courtesy of Hervé Girod lecting his blood, and threaten- death metal (brutal, cacophonic, ing to make him drink it (charm- and with lyrics concerning violence impaled heads, lashings of Varg Vikernes — a pioneer of the So yes, there is some merit to the ing!) — but he’s also a vegetarian, or gore); and doom metal (with blood, and corpse paint — the odd Norwegian black metal scene under belief that black metal is a morally- and his boyfriend, Robin Jakobsen, heavy and droning instrumenta- WWF-style face paint that gui- the stage name Burzum — sprung corrupting, soul-rotting, quasi-me- is a prominent Norwegian fashion tion and lyrics generally concerning tarists with made-up names like to fame after being sentenced to 21 lodic path to hell. designer. grief and suffering), as popularized Hellhammer or Abbath Satanicus years in prison for burning down But I can’t help but feel that this Any child of the ‘90s with a by Black Sabbath. are especially fond of. is — for the most part — a gross memory of Goosebumps, Spawn, or But there exist some subgenres All things considered, it’s safe Vikernes, “the most misconception, a wrongful conclu- The Crow can attest to the fact that that, even among metalheads, are to say that in terms of subtlety, sion many reach as a result of its the occult, death, mysticism, and considered a bit much. None are as black metal ranks somewhere notorious metal glossy, provocative image. the macabre all carry a strange sort divisive or notorious as black metal. near the bottom of the musical musician of all time”, Every subcultural movement of universal intrigue that will never Black metal’s lyrics revolve scale — just above bagpipes and donated the funds has its tag-alongs — outliers who stop being cool. around anti-Christianity, Satan- line-drumming. use their respective movement as In the majority of cases, the lurid ism, and death. The songs often It’s misanthropic, it’s nihilistic, from his newest a pretext to violence or personal imagery, gruesome lyrical content, follow an unconventional struc- it’s evil as piss, and it can really creep album to Haitian notoriety. Punk had them. The G20 and thundering sound of black ture, production value is fre- people out. protests had them. Even the civil metal are used for nothing more quently low, and the vocals are In Scandinavia, the birthplace earthquake relief. rights movement had them. than shock value. A quick listen to shrieked, terrifying, and grating. of black metal, an admission of ap- Black metal is no exception. Triptykon won’t dissolve your soul, The few black metal bands that preciation for black metal is usually 14 churches, plotting to blow up a But off stage, only an exceptionally but it will expand your musical rep- perform live also place a heavy considered serious and legitimate building, and killing his band mate small number of black metal musi- ertoire and knowledge of a fasci- emphasis on theatricality, and it grounds for reevaluating a person’s Øystein Aarseth. He’s also famous cians actually embrace the nihilistic nating underground culture. And if is not at all uncommon for shows character. Mind you, there’s a rea- for being a bit of a dickhead on mat- ideals they espouse through their nothing more, it’s a great conversa- to include mock crucifixions, son for that. ters concerning “race purity”. imagery and lyrics. tion starter.

EDITORIAL CARTOON Future war

Thoughts? [email protected] Yes, Conservatives. Insite is the problem. Written by Graham Templeton, art by Rachel Hughes

the peak OPINIONS May 16, 2011 11 The Peak is now hiring: Community Coordinator

Are you a motivated, enthusiastic SFU student? The Peak Publications Society’s Community Coordinator position exists to foster a strong and informed relationship between The Peak and the SFU community, and to assist The Peak editorial board in running com- munity events.

• Plan, run, and promote community events. • Build your resumé and gain valuable experience. • Must have strong writing and computer skills. • Must be dependable, outgoing, a good communicator and team player, and be willing to take initiative in pursuit of a goal. • Must be self-motivated, able to work and fulfill expectations without direct supervision.

8 hrs per week; $800 per semester APPLY BY MAY 23 send resumé to [email protected]

the peak May 16, 2011 features editor Kelly Thoreson email [email protected] 12 FEATURE phone 778.782.4560

!"#$%"&'()* !"+$%"&'() How your behaviour at the bar can leave you vulnerable to being drugged

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the peak FEATURE May 16, 2011 13

e are in the prime us. We are responsible for our own and her drink was drugged by can help reduce their dangers. You going to prevent being drugged, of our lives. We actions, whether that is drinking someone in her party while she can’t help it if there is someone but only because you will be so are fun, young, twice as much as we should or just was holding it. Just like her edu- drugging drinks at the bar you are drunk that there is no need for and always look- being negligent. cation taught her, her drink was at. However, you can control your someone to use drugs. !ing for a good time. We spend our I am not preaching. I am just never left unattended, but when actions and behaviour. I am not Accepting drinks from ador- weeknights studying to ensure a as guilty of having bad bar hab- she wasn’t looking the drugs made advocating for no consumption, ing members of the opposite sex bright and promising future for its, such as accepting drinks from it in anyway. “I didn’t even know just safe consumption. There are can lead to danger as well. Ac- ourselves, then on Friday and Sat- strangers, occasionally leaving I was drugged until the next day,” a few simple things to do and to cording to the Vancouver Police urday nights we indulge in well my drink at the table with friends, she explained. “The last thing I re- think about that could save a lot Department, the typical profile deserved relaxation at our local or getting distracted while wait- member is feeling fall-down-can’t- of people a lot of heartache in the of a drink-drugger is the ‘knight clubs and pubs. Our weekends, ing at the bar. Just last week I left even-feel-my-legs drunk, until the long-run. in shining armour’ type. They are and sometimes weeknights, are my drink on a speaker. The next next morning. I spent the whole Some bars make it very easy to usually very charming and ar- filled by a search for the buzz that day I was kicking myself, but at next day throwing up.” Rebecca lose track of your drink. In some ticulate. Its hard not to take free assures a fun night and the mo- situations, bartenders have even drinks, we are all poor and flat- tivation to get through the next been guilty of drugging drinks tered when someone we don’t week. This lifestyle has its benefits, themselves. You not only need to even know is willing to spend but has anyone considered the Saying “It can’t happen to keep track of your drink when you money on us. At the same time dangers that hide in the fine print me” only works until it are drinking it, but also when it is though, it is worth it to be a little of the How to Get Drunk manual? being made. It is easy to get dis- extra careful. Go to the bar with Our weekly practices are putting happens to you. tracted by your friends or the su- them instead of just accepting us in more danger than we know. per-skank that just walked in the one that they already have. This There was a recent incident door. People have to be conscious may be the hardest habit to quit at a local pub where an SFU stu- the time, I was thinking, “Damn came nauseatingly close to being of their drink as they wait for it because it goes against our frugal dent had her drink drugged. After Lea, you are dancing so hardcore in serious trouble. “If it wasn’t and not get distracted, because university instinct, but it is a sacri- a long discussion about this in- you’re spilling beer everywhere. for one of my friends recogniz- the slut and your pals will still be fice we have to make. cident with some peers, I found You rock!” Neglecting your safety ing what had happened, I am 100 there when you’re done. Basically what I am trying to that this is a more common occur- like this is easy to do when you are per cent sure that I would have Leaving your drink unattended say is that there is a fine line be- rence than I hoped. According to caught up in the night’s specta- been raped, that’s the way it was is the easiest and most dangerous tween having fun and irrespon- the Vancouver Police Department, cles. At the same time, this recent headed.” mistake to make. It’s hard to dance sibility. It would seem that our from January to August 2010, up to incident of drink drugging near So what is it about our edu- with a drink and even harder generation has fallen to the less four per cent of the 273 reported SFU should be a wake up call for cation that isn’t living up to our sometimes to finish it before the desirable side of that line. Al- sex assaults occurred because us: the danger of being drugged expectations? “People taught dance floor calls. Making this one though that may not be a term of drugged drinks. That means is very real and the consequences us in high school that drinks get change to your habits though will that you have thought of since roughly 20 people in Vancouver are severe. Saying “It can’t happen drugged when you leave them un- drastically decrease the ease of your parents scolded you in high reported being drugged and as- to me” only works until it happens attended, but they don’t tell you drink drugging. So before you go school, maybe irresponsibility is saulted. This of course only rep- to you. that it can still happen even when dance, go to the bathroom, make making a comeback. When your resents a small proportion of the Both men and women are at you are careful, and what it feels out with the guy with the abs, or safety, your pride, and your body population that is actually being risk. Tyler*, a victim of drugged like.” Rebecca didn’t recognize her do anything that will take your are on the line, I think we should drugged because often people drinks, was drugged at his own condition when it was happen- attention off your beverage, fin- be able to give up the little things. don’t report it, or they don’t even house party. Unfortunately, his ing; she thought that she had just ish it. You paid good money for These changes won’t ruin your know they were drugged. excess testosterone did not react drank too much. In this case there that drink, so you might as well night or your chances. Let’s all act Date rape is an issue that di- well to feeling completely out of was someone around that was take the time to enjoy it. Chugging just a little bit more like the smart rectly affects our demographic control, and he went on a blind aware of the symptoms, if there drinks will get you too drunk too university students we are and because in our search for fun, we tangent, destroying everything hadn’t, things could have gone fast. By chugging drinks you are save ourselves a lot of pain. often forget the basics of safety. and everyone in his path. Luck- differently. “From then on it was When thinking about this incident ily he was in the safety of his own a hand over my cup and a finger and the Vancouver Police Depart- home. Imagine that same situa- in bottle,” she explains. “I never ment statistics, I began wonder- tion in a bar — how would that go thought about it until it happened ing how it was even possible. We over? Most likely his night would to me, now I am always thinking To help prevent drink are highly educated people with have ended in jail or an ally. about it.” the knowledge and ability to pre- It crossed my mind that maybe According to the Vancou- drugging, the vent being drugged. So why does we just aren’t educated on the ver Police Department, there are it still happen? I place no blame issue. Maybe I was the only per- several signs and symptoms of a Vancouver Police on the victim; it could have been son of our generation who had drugged drink that can help you Department suggests: any one of us. It is not the habits lectures about being drugged recognize when it is happen- of one person that allows drinks to and the dangers of bars from my ing to you or one of your friends. be drugged, but rather the behav- high school and my parents. I do The symptoms are: sudden light- not think that’s true though. The headedness, feeling paralyzed or iours of our generation. The habits Don’t leave a friend alone that people exercise at bars are not problem cannot be that we don’t powerless, waking up confused, with someone you don’t know. preventative. They are inviting. know about the issue. More real- severe headaches, vomiting, scat- It is unsettling that we have istically, we have stopped thinking tered or no memory, intoxication Spend the cash to get your own these habits and demonstrate about it. Whether it is because we with minimal alcohol, acting out drinks and watch them being them liberally. You would think are young and invincible, having uncontrollably, heightened sex made. that our quest for higher educa- too much fun, or are too drunk drive, hallucinations, and loss Do not leave your drink unattend- tion would transfer into real life to care, we are ignoring the very of consciousness. As well, know ed. EVER. situations, but it appears to be the basics of keeping ourselves safe. It your friends. The reason Rebecca opposite. In our weekly search seems that our $50,000 education was able to avoid being seriously Have a few exit buddies that you has taught us a lot, but made us harmed was because her friends keep tabs on and who keep tabs for relaxation, sex, or that special on you. someone, we seem to disregard forget what is really important. recognized that she was acting out everything we know about the In the opinion of a drugged of character. Knowing your friends Don’t leave with anyone if you feel world and every ounce of street drink victim however, our edu- and how they usually act, and pay- too intoxicated, or sick in any way. sense we possess. I would love cation on the issue is not teach- ing attention to their actions when to blame that on the booze, but ing us the right things. Rebecca you’re out could keep them out of who are we kidding? We are not 14 was drugged at a bar in Calgary danger. years old anymore. We cannot say when she was 18. She had gone Some things are out of our con- *The names of victims in this article have that alcohol makes decisions for for a friend of a friend’s birthday, trol, but knowing they are there been changed. the peak May 16, 2011 arts editor Clinton Hallahan email [email protected] 14 ARTS phone 778.782.4630

STUFF WE LIKE FILM REVIEW Thor Thor, God of Thunder? More like Bore, God of Blunder, am I right?

Small Screen Romance

Clinton Joanie and Chachi, Ross and Hallahan Rachel, Jim and Pam (or Tim Arts Editor and Dawn, if you’re from across the pond) — these names don’t Kenneth Branagh directed Thor, just belong together, they are but you wouldn’t know it. The the sole reason why I watch man who made Henry V totally television. badass and made Frankenstein You would have to be kid- an incredible, glorious mess has C ding yourself if you think I very little of himself stamped Image courtesy Marvel Studios watched The Office for Michael’s on this Marvel Studios story of a Hemsworth is more charming and better looking than Thor. goofy managerial antics. I sat in fallen Norse god, which is kind of hand-clenched anticipation for a shame. It could have used him. his mighty hammer Mjolnir, and throne. Working against that goal But that’s okay, right? It’s a big the moment when Jim would Thor, based on the comic having to put up with Natalie is the machinations of his fiend- summer CG action flick. Well, waltz over to Pam’s desk and books created by Jack Kirby, Stan ish brother who has his own that’s where Branagh hinders the allow for the sexual tension to Lee, and a third guy named Larry There’s very designs on power. film more than he helps. His inex- blossom. When they finally got Lieber who gets totally screwed The strength of Thor is almost perience with action shows, with together, there was no reason being sandwiched between little of director entirely in the hands of the al- only a first act set piece and a for me to continue watching — those two minor gods has a basic Kenneth Branagh ways-surprising Hemsworth and second act depowered brawl pre- until Andy and Erin came along, premise: the headstrong young to a lesser extent his counterpart senting any real peril or excite- that is. god of thunder Thor (Chris Hem- in Thor. Which is Tom Hiddleston as Loki. They’re ment. The danger is that a Norse Frankly, I there is noth- sworth) and heir to the throne a shame, because charming and genuinely affect- god of thunder runs up against ing better than watching two of the heavenly realm of ing in ways that the script and di- the Superman Quandry: he has characters struggle against all starts acting out and accidentally it really could rection desperately wants to be. no weaknesses, so he can never obstacles to be together. This almost rekindles an ancient war have used him. Hemsworth stole a scene in J.J. be in danger. Instead, Thor runs is something that TV writers with some Ice Giants. For his Abrams’s Star Trek and does the up against the Superman In Film have (thankfully) learned a actions, he is banished by his same here. The only moments of Quandry: he’s omnipotent, so the long time ago from the good father, (Sir Anthony Hop- Portman. Until he is proven wor- true drama and emotion come proceedings must move with a people at Harlequin. kins), and sentenced to the loss thy, he cannot wield his ham- from these two actors while the plodding religious reverence. And of his powers, the inability to use mer and reclaim his powers and plot flounders around them. that’s a shame. -Kelly Thoreson ARTS REVIEWS Holy Ghost! Collider PEAK Arts Holy Ghost! Sam Roberts Band

6*-"7# .!'+# 1!58"# 2/# /%(87# *"# single “I feel you” is a clear mes- +,*&4# !(# 9:2-,# 5+!14&,(;<# sage to fans that the band is con- 9=*-# /2&# =,&&>;# !"# 4!"'!(5'1># tinuing to evolve and surprise, ?@A"# (,.# .*B,7# *(4# !"# *1"2# *# which is refreshing. Tunes such '&!$%',# '2# 4,5,*",4# 4&%--,&# as “The last crusade” and “Let it =,&&># C%5+"<# D+,# $*(4# &*&,1># in” show a departure from folk- &,*5+,"# $,>2(4# '+,!&# 52-/2&'# rock and will appeal to anyone E2(,7#2F'!()#!("',*4#/2&#*#/*!&1># who has a craving for funk and C+ 52("!"',('#$,*'#*(4#"2%(4< B- soul. There are the typical tracks D+,# (2B,1'># 2/# 4!"52# F2F# that fans expect from Roberts, !"# "'*&'!()# '2# .,*&# 2//7# '+2%)+# like “Without a map” and “Sang Label / DFA Records "2-,.+,&,# !(# $,'.,,(# '+,# &,3 Label / Universal Music froid”, but the album ultimately -!G,"# 2/# H+2,(!G# *(4# IJID# shines in the moments where Released / 04.02.2011 *(4#'2%&"#.!'+#KLM#:2%(4">"3 Released / 05.10.2011 the band experiments outside of ',-#*(4#L+&2-,27#N21>#J+2"'O# their genre. Took them long enough. Holy +*"# /2%(4# 5%1'# "'*'%"# *-2()# All of Sam Roberts’ albums have Collider probably won’t be Ghost! has been sinking their -%"!5# $12)"7# *(4# -># 4!"*F3 a fun folk-rock sound with a considered The Sam Roberts teeth deep into other facets of F2!('-,('# .!'+# '+!"# &,1,*",# few stylistic tangents along the Band’s definitive album, but the music scene even without -*># +*B,# "!-F1># "',--,4# way. The newest release, Col- it’s a great addition to an evolv- the credentials of an album /&2-#+!)+#,GF,5'*'!2("< lider, is indicative of a band that ing discography. Put it on for a since their first single “Hold isn’t content with putting out sunny drive or for pre-drinking on” went to press back in 2007. - Esther Tung the same album on every go- on party night and it’ll satisfy, The double Alex Frankel and Nick Millhiser around. The album does follow but eventually it’ll fade into the created Holy Ghost! after the the typical Sam Roberts format, rest of your album collection. truth, Ruth. crumbling of their six-piece but this time the tangents stray a hip hop group Automato. little further than usual, which is - Shawn Fagan Since 1965 !"#$% &'"()*% !"# $%&"'!()# *'# a good thing. '+,#",*-"#.!'+#/%(#0'*1234!"52# The crunchy, attitude-packed the peak ARTS May 16, 2011 15 » TV » GAMES » EVENTS » ON CAMPUS

WEEK The Witcher 2 (Multi) Treme Featuring some of the most Airs Sundays hardcore fans this side of a Ko- Clubs Days » MOVIES » MUSIC The newest series from The rean Starcraft bar, the witcher May 17-18, Convocation Wire and Homicide: Life On himself returns to deliver Mall The Street helmer David some similarly hardcore role- For any pet issue there is a Simon leaves cops and rob- playing. Two of everything is club. For every club, there is a bers behind and replaces always better, I’ve been told. I scad of emails carpeting your them with the citizens of New think this most plainly applies inbox. SFU Club Days returns Orleans, picking up the pieces to women, pot roasts, and to try and convince you to of their lives after Katrina. It swords. The protagonist in The fight for child soldiers, organic sounds like heavy fare — and Witcher has two swords. He foods, sustainability, and any it is — but an incredible en- has one for humans and one other issue you can dream of. semble cast and stellar writ- for monsters. I for one think Again, however, there is no Pirates of the Caribbean 4 ing has made Treme unique this is perfectly reasonable. Dog Costuming Club. Clubs Starring Johnny Depp among television dramas. Days takes place in Convoca- Trilogies are so 1988. Johnny Destroyed » NEW EPISODES L.A. Noire (Multi) tion Mall, and I think I speak Depp might not decorate the by Moby Imagine a hard boiled Sam & for the entire university when I bedrooms of 15-year-old girls Moby is kind of a relic of -House Max made on the GTA 4 en- say I hope we can look forward anymore, but the accountants another time. Peaking -The Chicago Code gine and bridging the uncanny to the musical theatre club and executives over at Disney before the current gradu- -Parks and Recreation valley with reckless abandon blasting Rent all day again. “La probably moon over his image ating class could really -Treme and you have a pretty good Vie Boheme” indeed. as they rub themselves down remember him being rel- -The Good Wife idea what is going on here. You » OFF CAMPUS with piles of currency from all evant, Moby’s popularity -Grey’s Anatomy will play as a detective who over the world. Facilitating the was really never a given -Cougar Town will solve cases not by punch- Man Man w/ Guests deep-tissue Yuan massage is when he was “huge”. A -Nurse Jackie ings and waterboarding, but May 17, Rickshaw Theatre Captain Jack Sparrow off look- primer: he is bald, is like a -United States of Tara with observational skills and One of the best live shows ing for the fountain of youth, sad proto-Beck and some -How I Met Your Mother savvy. Sound boring? Well, you in music today hits the west running into Selma Hayak people are still waiting -The Office would be right. But Rockstar coast with like a hurricane or a (Desperado) and Ian McShane for him to get stomped by -The Borgias hasn’t made a bad game since earthquake, but without all the (Deadwood) along the way. Obie. You’re all caught up. -The Killing Manhunt 2, so give them the tragic connotations of the last -Superjail! benefit of the doubt. year and a bit. Eep.

» DVD Nick Fury sez...

Midnight in Paris Directed by Woody Allen Mr. New York himself teams up Give Till It’s Gone with Owen Wilson and Marion By Ben Harper The Mechanic Cotillard to continue his boycott Filling the niche so coldy Starring Jason Statham of that city. Following a family left by Lenny Kravitz (shut The perfect example of a film traveling to Paris because that up, I am not a racist), you should watch if just to worked real well for Leonardo Benjamin Chase Harper is see how not to make a film, DiCaprio in Revolutionary Road, bringing another LP filled this action thriller remake of Allen hopefully will get back with non-offensive pop a Charles Bronson classic was to his roots of not sucking so rock to the masses. If your on it’s way to being great be- much and marrying his daugh- mom mentions that as a fore the final minute. Seriously, ter. Although, he’s already done “hip cat” you should “rec- a single minute at the end that . . . would that be some ommend [her] some new ruins the film. It has to be seen sort of freaky bigamy? Only he tunes”, he is a choice that to be believed. could find a way. will not make her question her parenting skills. Put Louder Than A Bomb down the OFWGKTA. Directed by Greg Jacobs TOP ALBUMS A documentary that appeared CJSF 1. Eureka at this year’s DOXA Documen- Mother Mother tary Festival, Louder Than A 2. The Fall Submit your Bomb takes all that poetry Gorillaz you wrote in high school and 3. The Golden Record The Roommate campus event makes it important because an Little Scream Starring Minka Kelley audience claps for these kids 4. 21 Serving mainly to highlight when they recite theirs. I still Adele the lack of horror releases to Peak Week! 5. Live in London say my poem about paddling in 2011, The Roommate is a Regina Spektor up a river of despair in a canoe stale startle piece from the [email protected] of my own sadness with a fail- impossibly named Christian ure paddle is pure gold. @PeakSFU Christiansen. Prepare to be bored beyond belief. the peak 16 May 16, 2011 ARTS

HARDWARE REVIEW Nintendo 3DS: Two months later

Now that the hype has died The new top screen looks amazing. It’s capable of showing down to a dull roar, The a much higher resolution than the past DSs, while the bottom Peak looks at Nintendo’s touch screen looks pretty much new handheld console. Will the same. The 3D top screen can be very disorienting at first it print money like the DS, but, when oriented properly, the 3D looks amazing. Games seem or will it fall flat? to have an extra layer of depth and look sharper in 3D on still Edward Mah or slow motion images, but visu- Peak Associate als can seem a little grainy on faster motion. The 3D is going The 3DS has been touted as Nin- to make or break this system, so tendo’s next big thing. This suc- it’s definitely a plus that it does cessor to the DS, a console that exactly as advertised. Of course, has sold well over 100 million you don’t need to play in 3D if Burnaby Mountain units, brings revolutionary tech- you don’t want. Gondola Transit Project nology along with the promise of There’s some pre-installed revolutionary ways to enjoy new software on the 3DS like the 3D Community Open Houses favourites. But is any of it true? Camera, 3DS Sound, Activity Maybe not quite, but the future Log, the Mii Maker, and every- is bright for this young system. one’s favorite augmented reality The machine itself is around games. A personal favourite of the same size as the DS Lite and mine is the “StreetPass Mii Plaza” feels slightly heavier. It feels very that lets you collect other peo- sturdy but it’s also very glossy, ple’s Mii’s when you pass another which could mean some drops 3DS. The Mii Plaza has uses if you’re not careful. The “Cosmo for the Mii’s such as complete- Black” looks slick with a gradi- ing jigsaws by collecting puzzle ent dark gray to black finish on pieces from others, or even a COMMUNITY OPEN HOUSE 1 the top and a gunmetal bot- mini RPG quest to save your own Your input is Date: Wednesday, May 25, 2011 tom. The newly redesigned ex- Mii character. StreetPass works important to us! Time: 5 p.m. – 8 p.m. tendable metal stylus is a big for other games, such as Super Presentations: 5:30 p.m. and 7 p.m. upgrade from the plastic pen Street Fighter IV performing auto Location: Cameron Elementary School to which people have become battles with “figures” that you Come to an open house to learn 9540 Erickson Drive, Burnaby accustomed. collect and Lego Star Wars un- about the proposed Burnaby The circle pad is Nintendo’s locks in-game currency. Street- Mountain Gondola Transit Project COMMUNITY OPEN HOUSE 2 Date: Thursday, May 26, 2011 answer to the analog stick. It Pass is somewhat useless at this and provide your feedback. feels surprisingly comfortable point but it stands to become Time: 1 p.m. – 4 p.m. and performs admirably but one of the most innovative fea- 5 p.m. – 8 p.m. TransLink is studying the feasibility of a gondola isn’t tactile enough for games tures of the system. Presentations: 1:30 p.m., 3 p.m., from Production Way – University SkyTrain station requiring fast inputs like fight- The 3DS can still play your 5:30 p.m. and 7 p.m. to Burnaby Mountain to improve transit reliability ing games. The D-pad is slightly old DS games but they look ter- Location: Saywell Hall Atrium, and travel times, and reduce greenhouse gas stiffer and more ‘clicky’, similar rible on the new high-res screen. SFU Burnaby Campus emissions. The proposed Burnaby Mountain to the DSi’s pad. The face but- It’s as if the new screen is almost Gondola Transit Project would serve SFU students, tons and shoulder buttons are too good for the old titles. You Unable to attend an open house? Learn about the faculty and staff, residents and businesses of soft and comfy for extended may not want to throw that old project and provide input online between May 24 UniverCity, and visitors. playing sessions. DS away just yet. – June 30, 2011 at bepartoftheplan.ca The worst parts of the 3DS The 3DS still has a ways to Two open houses will present the outcomes of the Contact Colleen Sondermann at: hardware are the new start, se- go to match the that planning study, and solicit community input about [email protected] or lect, and home buttons. Their was the original DS. There are the proposed project. 604.453.4687 for more information. placement is hard to get used to more features coming in system and end up being some of the updates, like the Virtual Con- worst buttons ever on a hand- sole and full 3D movies, and AAA held console. You will get the new titles in the works for later this power button confused for start year. As it is, the 3DS does what but, thankfully, a single press will it advertises: it plays games in 3D not turn off the console. without glasses. the peak May 16, 2011 sports editor Matt Lee email [email protected] SPORTS phone 778.782.4560 17

SOFTBALL SCORE Clan back on NAIA title hunt BOARD

SIMON FRASER UNIVERSITY CLAN 5

CENTRAL BAPTIST COLLEGE MUSTANGS 3

» GAME IN A FLASH After dropping the first game of the A.I.I. championship doubleheader, all the SFU Clan needed to do was defeat the Central Baptist College Mus- tangs one more time to com- plete the Cinderella story. This time around, SFU hurler Cara Lukawesky de- livered another monumental pitching performance, surren- SFU pitcher Cara Lukawesky brought her best game to the mound, going 4–0 in the A.I.I. tournament. Bai Yin / The Peak dering just five hits and three runs while pitching a com- Fourth-seeded SFU The Clan, who entered as the Despite trailing 2–0 early, the second and deciding game. plete game, her fourth of the fourth seed in the six-team tourna- youthful Clan showed some resil- SFU had to win, in any way, tournament. surprises their way to ment, were considered huge under- ience, posting three runs in the top shape, or form. Fittingly, head SFU also got some timely dogs in the second game when they of the third inning as Sammie Olexa coach Mike Renney went back to batting from third baseman become A.I.I. tournament went head-to-head with heavy fa- scored from third base off a fielder’s Lukawesky, who had pitched in all Carly LePoutre, who deliv- champions vourite and tournament host Cali- choice from Trisha Bouchard. Carly of the Clan’s wins over the tourna- ered a double which scored fornia State University San Marcos, LePoutre then added an RBI single ment, including four complete two RBI. who play in an ultra-competitive to score Lauren Mew, and Brittany games. southern California area with All- Ribeiro had an RBI ground out to And once again, Lukawesky American pitcher Brenna Sandberg, give SFU a 3–2 lead. didn’t falter; the Coquitlam native » SFU WOMAN OF Matt Lee who entered the tournament with a On a team with few seniors, Brit- surrendered just three runs and the Sports Editor dazzling 35–6 record. tany Mayers added an exclamation Clan exploded for five runs in the THE MATCH But Clan pitcher Cara Lu- mark to the game with a solo home bottom of the fourth inning, secur- Well, you can’t help but say that kawesky who, like her team, ran hot run in the top of the fourth, before ing the A.I.I. championship. For this was a little unexpected. and cold all season, found a way the Clan put away the Mustangs for her efforts, Lukawesky was named Despite their Jekyll and Hyde to take her game to a whole new good with two runs in the sixth and tournament MVP, while teammates play throughout the course of their level. Pitching in her second game one in the seventh inning. Kelsey Haberl and Brittany Mayers GNAC season, culminating in a me- of the day, Lukawesky went the full By the final day of the tourna- were named to the All-Conference diocre 12–19 conference record, the seven innings, allowing just one run ment, it had become evident that team. Simon Fraser softball team went on three hits. First baseman Kelsey the Clan were riding a wave of “We came to this event knowing into the NAIA’s A.I.I. tournament Haberl supplied the small ball bat- momentum that opposing teams it was do or die with the need of a with the hopes of getting at least ting in the top of the fifth inning, wouldn’t be able to stop. Central top-two finish to advance to the na- P one of the top-two finishes in order scoring a single to score Carly LeP- Baptist revisited the Clan in the tional championships so finishing to qualify for the NAIA national outre and the eventual game-win- finals after winning their elimina- in top spot was a bonus and should championships. ning run. tion game, and despite putting up put us in good stead for the national #28 — CARA LUKAWESKY At the end, they didn’t just seize Lukawesky continued to be the a good fight by stealing one of the tournament,” said head coach Mike one of the two spots; they went on hot story for SFU as the tournament two final games, couldn’t overcome Renney. “I am very pleased with the Lukawesky wasn’t just to win the whole thing, claiming wore on. In the second day of the Lukawesky’s dominant pitching team peaking at the right time to be solid in this particular game; the A.I.I. championship and book- tournament, the Clan continued to performances. able to return to nationals in our last she was terrific throughout ing their 14th consecutive trip to the shock and surprise when they de- Freshman pitcher Kelsie season of eligibility in the NAIA.” the whole A.I.I. tournament. NAIA national tournament. feated the second-ranked Central Hawkins started for the first time in The Clan most certainly are The Clan sophomore, who In their first game of the tour- Baptist College Mustangs by a 7–2 the tournament to open the two- peaking at the right time, which is also the team’s pitching nament versus crosstown rival and score, giving them an automatic game series, keeping Central Baptist is eerily similar to last year’s team, ace, pitched four complete fifth-seeded UBC, it was Leah Riske berth into the A.I.I. final. Lukawesky at bay until the sixth inning, paving which, under enormous odds, games and four wins in the providing the early heroics for the surrendered two runs in the first the way for Lukawesky to enter the came together in May to win the tourney. She’ll be counted on Clan in the bottom of the first, as inning, but held the Mustangs off game. But despite the game being NAIA tournament. The way things to be a key piece in the team’s she unleashed a three-run home- the board for the remainder of the tied 2–2 late, the Mustangs earned are looking now, 2011 could cer- defense of the NAIA title. run to power SFU to a 10–2 victory game, pitching her third complete a 4–3 victory with a walk-off RBI tainly be the year of the Clan once over the Thunderbirds. game of the tournament. double from Kayla Lucas, forcing a again. the peak 18 May 16, 2011 SPORTS

SFU FENCING NHL COMMENTARY SFU’s Kay Flyers and Capitals Sze hoping to need to fix their fence for gold goalie woes quickly

Goaltending went from worse to catastrophic for the Flyers this spring. Image courtesy of NHL.com

Kay Sze, an SFU student, is in the Image courtesy of Pei Pei Chu Philadelphia and Philadelphia on the other hand Philadelphia make a play for him. process of mastering her fencing skills. is in a much less enviable posi- He is known to be a bit of a choker Washington’s undoing tion. In their 11 games in this year’s in pressure situations, but at this SFU student Kay Sze is blades, where right-of-way points postseason, the Flyers made a half- point, any upgrade is worthwhile. or cuts are scored to the upper body. stems from the lack of dozen in-game goalie switches and Marty Turco might be available, ready to put Canada on Kay first learned fencing in her adequate goaltending pegged three different netminders but in all honesty, that’s probably native Hong Kong. As an athletic as starters. And it’s not like they just more of the same. J.S. Giguere the fencing map after her but short child, she was passed were naming Cory Schneider a and Tomas Vokoun are both sched- performance at the WCFC over by her school’s basketball and surprise starter to give Roberto Lu- uled to become UFAs this summer, volleyball coaches, but the fencing ongo a game off; they were desper- but are getting up there in age and Adam coach accepted her for the fencing ately looking for someone to step might cost too much. Pei Pei Chu Ovenell-Carter team and she was soon fencing foil. Peak Associate up. The best goalie available come SFU Alumnus After hitting a growth spurt in grade The goalies obviously weren’t July 1, assuming he doesn’t re-sign eight, the other coaches came call- Antti Niemi and Michael Leighton the only reason for Philly’s down- with his current club, is Phoenix’s From May 6 to 8, the British Co- ing, but she found her passion in are certainly no Martin Brodeur fall, but their play certainly ham- Ilya Bryzgalov. However, he too lumbia Fencing Association épèe fencing and eventually earned or Patrick Roy. So when Chicago pered the team, so heading into would come at a steep price and (BCFA) hosted the annual West- on spot on the Hong Kong National and Philadelphia met in last year’s the offseason, the Flyers’ brass will the Flyers would likely have to ern Canadian Fencing Champi- Cadet Team (17 and under). Stanley Cup Final riding the play of have to take a long, hard look at move a piece to fit him into their onships at the Richmond Olym- After moving to Canada with Niemi and Leighton respectively, their goaltending situation and cap. And if the Flyers are willing pic Oval. her family at 17, Kay put fencing the old adage of needing a fran- might have to sacrifice a talented to move a significant player, they This tournament welcomes away and focused on her academ- chise goaltender to win came into forward, such as Jeff Carter or might as well look at acquiring a Canada’s best fencers from Mani- ics. A few years later, as a student at question, and rightfully so. James van Riemsdyk to fix their potential franchise goalie through toba, Saskatchewan, Alberta, and Simon Fraser, she finally decided to After all, Detroit has won many most pressing need. trade. Vancouver’s Cory Schneider British Columbia. try out the fencing class offered by a cup with Chris Osgood between showed he is ready to become a B.C. was well represented by ath- SFU Recreation and taught by long the pipes. A franchise ‘tender you The Flyers’ brass starter (sporting a 16–4–2 record) letes of all age groups in all weapon time instructor and former B.C. pro- may not need, but as Philadelphia will have to take a and with Roberto Luongo locked events, including third-year SFU vincial fencing coach, Maitre Bac — and to some extent Washington up long term, he is likely on the biomedical engineering student, Tau. — found out this spring, it’s quickly long, hard look at move out of Vancouver soon. Kay Sze. Sze achieved stellar re- Soon, Kay was also travelling becoming apparent you can’t go their goaltending The Capitals and Flyers aren’t sults, winning the gold medal in the three times a week to Maitre Bac’s far without someone who can at the only team with goalie woes, women’s epèe event on Saturday. primary fencing club in Vancouver least pretend to stop a puck. situation and might but they are two teams poised for The sport of fencing has three for additional training and the re- Now, Washington’s early exit have to sacrifice a a deep playoff run, but who fall weapon disciplines: the foil, épèe, sults followed. this year can be largely attributed talented forward. short in the goalie department. Is and sabre. The foil is a gracile She won silver in the 2010 Pro- to the play of regular season stal- Neuvirth the answer in Washing- thrusting weapon with its origins vincial Championships and medals warts like Nicklas Backstrom, Alex ton? Time will tell. But it’s clear the as a training weapon. The action of all colours in smaller local tour- Semin, and Mike Green, who sim- It’s not like there aren’t options three-headed monster of Boucher, is dictated by right-of-way attacks naments in Vancouver and Victo- ply vanished. Michael Neuvirth out there for the Flyers. Evgeni Leighton, and Bobrovsky delivered with points scored on the torso only. ria over the 2010–2011 season. The wasn’t terrible between the pipes Nabokov tried to make it back to ghastly results for Philadelphia. The épèe is a more robust thrusting gold medal won last weekend has for the Caps, but he still had a the NHL last year before refusing With such talented teams, weapon and this sport was created been her most significant result yet. hard time holding leads at critical to play for the team that eventually especially in the forward depart- to closer mimic traditional duelling Kay now turns her attention to points in games, and in the series. picked him off waivers, the New ment, both may be reluctant to with the entire body being a valid the upcoming 2011 B.C. Provincial Neuvirth simply didn’t play well York Islanders. How that situation give up a big-time player, but if it target. Finally, the sabre is unique Championships in June and the enough to steal the series when is handled remains to be seen, means answering all the goalten- in being both a thrusting and cut- Canadian National Championships the rest of his team — save for Alex but if he ends up on the market ding questions, it could well be ting weapon modelled on cavalry later this fall. Ovechkin — was struggling. it wouldn’t be a big shock to see worth it. the peak SPORTS May 16, 2011 19

CANUCKS COMMENTARY Into Shark-infested waters Onus is on the Sedin twins This is a very deep team up front. The Sedins must accept the to up the scoring support cards that the playoffs deal. But versus San Jose once in hand, they must decide how to play the cards in order to win the game. Whether the Sedins can Ronil Desai find their game is questionable and Peak Associate the hard-nosed Ryan Kesler may not be able to carry the brothers It’s a battle between the two bad- on his back for much longer. If the dest animals in the ocean. It’s a trend continues, then the Canucks well-known fact that orcas have are getting the Sharks at the worst been known to kill and eat great possible time as role players Logan white sharks. Time will tell. Couture and Devin Setoguchi have By the time you read this article, six goals apiece thus far. On any game one between the San Jose given night the star power on the Sharks and will Sharks can produce, especially with have come and gone, which should the likes of and Patrick give you a good indication of just Marleau starting to awaken. how intense this matchup will be. Let’s hope the Sedins set their Before swimming in the ocean, alarm clock. Earlier in the year the Vancouver Canucks got the best against San Jose, Daniel responded of both the by leading all Canucks in head-to- and Nashville Predators to advance head scoring with two goals and to the Western Conference Final for four helpers while Henrik Sedin col- the just the third time in their fran- lected one goal and four assists. chise’s history to battle the Sharks. The role of experience does not When the Canucks faced the play a huge part on the Canuck in the finals in script as Maxim Lapierre, Mikael If the Canucks have any hope of getting past the Sharks, they’ll need all their Image courtesy of canucks.com 1994, kids would run home from Samuelsson, and are the forwards to start contributing more, especially Henrik Sedin (centered). school to catch the latest episode only players on the roster who have of Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. been to a conference final. However, CANUCKS CARTOON A lot has changed in 17 years, but injured can pro- the pursuit for Lord Stanley remains vide the boys with some inspiration the same. The Canucks are halfway as he took part in some brief drills there, with eight wins to go. earlier in the week. It’s a long road for the centre, but Malhotra contin- Both teams were ues to play a vital role by providing the team with a few coaching tips able to dodge against his former team. an apocalyptic Roberto Luongo definitely has the edge in netminding, however collapse and battle there is a Stanley Cup-winning goal- ghosts of playoffs tender in the mix with Antti Niemi past, which has between the pipes who has already beaten Luongo in a playoff series them on the same once. psychological The Canucks were going high glove side on Pekka Rinne like it footing. was going out of style. Maintain the strategy, and we’ll find out if Niemi’s The buzz around town is mag- glove is as quick as Rinne’s. For two netic, but the fact of the matter is teams that have notable offensive this team has no reason to celebrate capability, special teams were not just yet and will have their hands a major factor during the season full against the Sharks. Both teams as the Canucks went a combined were able to dodge an apocalyptic 3-for-15 on the power play while collapse and both battled the ghosts the Sharks went 2-for-12. If either of of failed playoffs past, which theo- these teams question their offense, retically has them on the same psy- special teams is the answer. chological footing. The stitched-up Ryan Kesler is The Canucks were able to spend in the driver’s seat and is showing some time to reflect on how they no signs of fatigue. It is a remarkable finally overcame the second round individual achievement, but it also obstacle. Offense from their defense highlights the fact that there were was a significant part of their game too many others who aren’t getting as the blueline contributed to nine it done offensively, more specifically of the 14 goals against the Predators. two red-headed twins. Although the backend has picked Every series is different but fel- up 22 points so far, they will have to low teammates will have to find drive their focus to the depth of the their game if they expect to fish in Sharks’ forwards. They’ve got the the shark tank. If all is repaired, the young guns becoming big players, engine will be roaring and the Ca- The Canucks will be looking to have a successful shark hunt when they Art by Rachel Hughes with Ryane Clowe and nucks will have their eyes locked on take on the in the Conference Final. in addition to the supporting cast. finishing the race to the Cup. the peak 20 May 16, 2011 ETC FREE CLASSIFIEDS are available to SFU students for personal use. 30 words maximum. Drop by The Peak offices in MBC 2900 to put in your ad, or go to our website: www.the-peak.ca or email: classifieds @the-peak.ca. One ad per person. All others: $12+GST per week, prepaid, for 30 words. Each additional 10 words: $1+GST. 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Suite/Studio for Rent - NOVO @ SFU CAMPUS EVENTS UniverCity. Excellent location, gym and 1 parking, hot water included. WEDNESDAY MAY 18 Send your reply to Claudia clampi@ 15th annual plant sale. 11:00 AM - 2:00 PM. www.sfu.ca/campus-activity. Burnaby cam- shaw.ca f2 pus, Town Square, Cornerstone. This year’s theme, From My Garden to Your Garden, is a reminder that the sale relies on quality plant donations from the SFU community. This year’s sale features a Creative Container-Garden Competition, with prizes for the most colourful, most tasty, best presentation, most playful and most elegant. All 1 furnished room for rent from end proceeds from the sale go to the Campus Community Bursary Endowment Fund for of June to beginning of September, 5 students in need. Please visit the website for more information. www.sfu.ca/campus- minutes walk to SFU Surrey and Sky- activity Train. $475/month including hydro- water. Male/couple. Email: dervondy@ MONDAY MAY 23 sfu.ca. f3 Victoria day - university closed. All classes cancelled. Offices closed. WEDNESDAY MAY 25, 26 “Growing Old in a changing climate” international conference. 8:00 AM - 6:00 PM. www.sfu.ca/fc2011. Vancouver campus, Segal Graduate School of Business, 500 Gran- $1500/month - 2 bed, 2 bath apt ville St. 20th Anniversary John K. Friesen Conference. Growing Old in a Changing for rent @ SFU Harmony avail Climate: Exploring the Interface Between Population Aging and Global Warming. Fee: May 1st. Call: 604.421.4768 Email: $300 Regular $150 Student/Senior before March 31; $350 Regular $175 Student/ [email protected] f3 Senior after March 31. Population aging and global warming are two of the biggest challenges facing humanity this century. How will they affect each other and how will aging populations adapt to climate change? For details, to submit an abstract, and to register go to www.sfu.ca/fc2011. Host organization: SFU Gerontology Research Centre Family Help for Summer in Capitol Hill - Single professional needs help TUESDAY MAY 31 with young daughter pre and/or post FENV Dean’s Lecture Series: John Calvert. 1:30 PM - 2:30 PM. http://www.fenv.sfu. school. Easy kid, some flex hours. Ap- ca/upcoming-events/ Burnaby campus, Halpern Centre, room 126. Faculty of Environ- prox 20 hrs/wk. Previous childcare ment Summer 2011 Lecture Series presentation and discussion with Dr. John Calvert, experience please. Wage negotiable. a guest from the Faculty of Health Science “The Current Crisis at BC Hydro: Can it be Contact HopeinCapitolHill@yahoo. Resolved” Admission is free. BE A PART OF THE SHOW! ca f2 Youth Leaders Wanted! Part-time TUESDAY JUNE 14 TO FRIDAY JUNE 17 NEEDS YOUR HELP. work teaching youth in grades 1-5, Spring Convocation The Peak weekday shifts 3-5pm (4-10 hours a WEEKLY week) in Glenayre Elementary School. 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Velvet Bulldozer - Following up our popular Jazz night on Mondays, join us for Live Music Wedesdays. Each enthusiastic SFU student? Try something new! Wednesday starting at 9pm, Gold- ies Pizza features local Vancouver Come relax and eat a warm, healthy, delicious Jazz bands from around the city. vegetarian lunch, in a cozy elegant surrounding. 605 West Pender Street http://gold- iespizza.com f3 • Help The Peak continue a strong and informed For only $5 you can enjoy a full 5 course meal! relationship with SFU’s student body. Join us every Tuesday and Wednesday from 11:30 A.M to 2:30 P.M, at the Forum Chambers in the Maggie-Benson Building. MATH GOT YOU SCARED? (one story under the Higher Ground Café) NEVER TOO EARLY TO GET • Plan, run, and promote community events. HELP! Contact Scott Cowan for your Math/MACM tutoring needs. Competitive rates, extensive ex- perience and great past reviews! • Build your resume and gain valuable experience. [email protected] f3 Get your message out to the SFU com- munity. Get your event noticed. Sell Peak Membership those textbooks. Find a roommate. As an SFU student, you are a member of Peak Sell your Pokemon collection. Adver- 8 hrs per week; $800 per semester tise your services. Get rid of that Ford Publications Society. Besides getting a weekly copy of Pinto. Free to SFU Students. www. The Peak filled with news and views of interest to you, the-peak.ca/submit_classified. Dead- you also get to vote for board of directors, place free line: Wednesdays at 2:30. Did we men- tion they are free to SFU students? classified ads and share your opinions with the SUBMIT! . . . Get your message out to university community. the SFU community. Get your event noticed. Sell those textbooks. Find a APPLY BY MAY 23 roommate. Sell your Pokemon collec- In addition, your contribution helps provide jobs and tion. Advertise your services. 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photo editor Bai Yin email [email protected] COMMUNITY PHOTO phone 778.782.3597 21

SIAT student Obi Vattanawong (left) gives a tour of the SFU Burnaby Bai Yin / The Peak SFU entomologist Bruce Archibald examines Bai Yin / The Peak campus as part of Jane’s Walk to celebrate the ideas and legacy of his discovery: the fossil of a new species called urbanist Jane Jacobs. Titanomyrma lubei.

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the peak May 16, 2011

humour editor Colin Sharp email [email protected] 22 HUMOUR phone 778.782.4560

FRAT REPORT This week’s will talk to you later, but right now it’s far too busy Lower Mainland men Peak Humour watching the season fi nale of Community.

prep for DoucheTrek Ski Ninjas / Kyle Lees (The Argus) Do a shot of Jägermeister Schaub first began develop- ing the idea for DoucheTrek last every time you see a summer. After spending an after- noon at Kits Beach playing beach popped collar volleyball and skimboarding, Schaub and his best bros were accosted by a group of men wear- ing Threadless tees. The men re- portedly said derogatory things Colin Sharp about Schaub under their breath. Senior Broporter Men’s support groups throughout “Just because my the Vancouver area are putting collar was popped the finishing touches on plans for the first annual DoucheTrek. The doesn’t mean I’m event seeks to strip certain fash- a douche. It just ion choices of their association with the word douche. means my collar Event organizer Chad Schaub was popped.” Hark! A Vagrant (1980s Business Women Comics) / Kate Beaton (harkavagrant.com) believes that men throughout Vancouver, and much of west- “Look, just because the collar ern culture, are unfairly catego- on my polo was popped doesn’t rized and maligned based on mean I’m a douche or a misogy- their attire. He also argues that nist. It just means my collar was the use of the word “douche” has popped,” said Schaub. “I mean, I helped target these individu- know I had just said that my bros als and greatly decreased their and I should pick up a bottle of chances of successful romantic Jägermeister, but c’mon! It’s le- encounters. gitimately delicious.” Despite strong support on The word “douche” Facebook, DoucheTrek is not without its detractors. Several has targeted these posts on the Facebook event’s individuals and wall cite that the event will en- courage actual douchebags to greatly decreased dispense undeserved high fives. their chances Additionally, environmental con- of romantic cerns are being raised in antici- Ron Swanson’s likes: pation of extremely high levels of encounters. Axe body spray in the air. Experts - Honour are saying it could approach lev- “Guys aren’t looking in the els normally reserved for middle - Buffets mirror before they go out and school locker rooms. - America thinking to themselves ‘What is Schaub remains optimistic that gonna turn all the ladies off’,” the event will help to turn around - Welfare avoidance said Schaub, who is a frequent the public’s idea of what a douche patron of the Roxy. “A lot of is or at least start a dialogue. He - Wood working these women look at me and believes the detractors will come - Submitting to The Peak judge me before I even get a around and is quick to point out chance to whip out my acous- that despite their differences, ev- tic guitar and sing them a Jack eryone agrees that there still isn’t [email protected] Johnson song.” an excuse for wearing Ed Hardy.

Variation on the Rules / Andrew MacLachlan (SFU)

the peak DIVERSIONS May 16, 2011 23

Across 44- Second letter of 9- Whatever person; 52- Author Calvino; 61- Baseball stat 1- Head and shoulders the Greek alphabet; 10- Height; 53- Take hold; sculpture; 45- Foursome; 11- Bargain; 54- Forest makeup; 5- Milan’s La; 47- Diamond fl aw?; 12- Dynamic begin- 55- Portico; 10- Hang-up; 49- Aspect; ning; 56- “All the Way” lyri- 14- Draft classifi ca- 51- One playing alone; 13- Fed; cist Sammy; tion; 55- Vision in dim light; 18- Drop; 57- Capital city of 15- Histological stain; 58- Tin alloy; 22- Very much; Western Samoa; 16- Abound; 59- Anklebones; 24- Open a tennis 17- Sleep disorder; 60- Fertilize an animal; match; 19- Pearl Mosque city; 62- Presidential battle- 27- Bluffer’s ploy; 20- Computer avail- ground state; 29- Coup d’___; ability; 63- Silk cotton; 30- Greek fertility god- 21- Half-pike; 64- Netman Nastase; dess, fl ightless bird; 23- Science of bodies 65- Auth. unknown; 31- Riga resident; at rest; 66- Habituate; 32- Dull pain; 25- Muzzle; 67- Seemingly forever; 33- Case; 26- Absolute; 35- Autocratic Russian 28- More spine- Down rulers; tingling; 1- Additional pay; 38- Bahamanian 31- Drinks (as a cat); 2- Not appropriate; island; 34- Part of Q.E.D.; 3- Simmons rival; 39- Continental inhab- 36- Not o’er; 4- Roman historian; itant; 37- Author Umberto; 5- Chosen; 42- Speech; 38- Apprised; 6- Cedar Rapids col- 44- Chocolate chewy 40- kwon do; lege; cake; 41- Palpitate; 7- Cairo cobras; 46- Portray; 43- Biblical birthright 8- Does a Daffy Duck 48- Designer Cassini; seller; impression; 50- Stopwatch-holder;

Puzzles provided by BestCrosswords.com. Used with permission.

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the peak 24 May 16, 2011 LAST WORD !"#$%&'' a It’s y! Osama pirac cons deserves a proper burial! ()*+,&'' !"#"$%&!"#"$%

There will !"#$%&'%( still be -./0,".,1& )#$*%)( terrorism! &#+,"&-. ZĞĂĐƟŽŶƐƚŽKƐĂŵĂďŝŶ>ĂĚĞŶ͛ƐĚĞĂƚŚ LJŚƌŝƐƚŽƉŚĞƌEŝĐŚŽůƐ

ffering coverage of Osama their assertion as the U.S. govern- simply not an option. We are fight- as opposed to one extreme mem- element earlier, and how it makes bin Laden’s assassination ment has for theirs), and I think ing an opponent motivated by ber (political correctness gone peaceful resolution impossible. To 2seems a bit redundant of the request for that evidence is a religion — famously an unwaver- mad — bin Laden was not killed boot, it means that violent resolu- me at this point. Everyone has perfectly legitimate one. The nag- ing and uncompromising muse. because he was a Muslim, but be- tion is also impossible. The defeat- seen President Obama’s speech ging suspicion, however, is that Al-Qaida is an organization which cause he was a terrorist), and two, ists are right — a war cannot be and read all the articles. The gist is were the U.S. government to pro- has made it blatantly clear that it it suggests Osama bin Laden de- won against people who are un- that the bastard’s dead. With that duce the much-gossiped-about is not interested in any form of serves some form of respect. afraid, ready, and willing to die for out of the way, I will instead focus photographs, the first word on discussion whatsoever, and will Sorry? A cowardly, self-righ- their beliefs. But does this mean on the more pressing issue: our re- the deniers’ lips would be “Pho- continue its campaign of mass teous, remorseless mass murderer we should simply throw our hands sponse. I noticed, rather predict- toshop”, and so I have a feeling murder and terrorism until either of uninvolved civilians deserves up, say “fuck it”, lie down, and take ably, several distinct camps of re- that this is an issue that will never it is eradicated or we, the infidels, respect? This particular piece it? I believe this would be what’s action to the news. quite be put to bed. I, for my part, are. No exceptions, ifs, ands, or of whining piety makes my skin known as greasing ourselves up The first is the sort that ap- am inclined to disagree with the buts. These are not people with crawl more than any other — the for penetration. The message we peared in big mobs chanting, skeptics. For a start, if the U.S. whom we can negotiate. They are idea that whatever atrocities he would have sent, had we not re- “U.S.A.! U.S.A.!” Well, I suppose I government was going to pretend convinced that they have been may have committed in his life, taliated, is that we are apathetic, can’t really fault them for their sat- that they had killed their number chosen personally by god to carry we should respect his religious lazy, and ripe for the taking, and isfaction, even if I find their bra- one fugitive, I rather think that the out his will — the destruction of identity. But belief in god does we would have suffered far more vado a bit crude. However, they ever-arrogant Bush and Cheney at the hands of bin Laden and al- would do well to remember that would have reserved that honour Qaida than we have done. We may it took the U.S. close to a decade for themselves. Also, the fact that dŚĞƌĞŝƐŽŶĞůĞƐƐƌĞůŝŐŝŽƵƐƉƐLJĐŚŽƉĂƚŚ not have much hope of winning a of rather aimless conflict to finally bin Laden hasn’t since released a War on Terror, but we can hope to get their man — an embarrass- new video calling Obama’s bluff is ŽŶƚŚĞůŽŽƐĞ͕ĂŶĚŽŶĞŽĨƚŚĞǁŽƌůĚ͛Ɛ keep our enemies at bay and let ment by any standards. Far from a tip-off for my money; he’s not the them know that we are a force to the dramatic victory it is being sort to fake his own death when he ŵŽƐƚĂŐŐƌĞƐƐŝǀĞƚĞƌƌŽƌŝƐƚŽƌŐĂŶŝnjĂƟŽŶƐ be reckoned with. celebrated as, the War on Terror could be gloating over the infidels’ For my part, I received the has been for the most part an ex- miserable failure. ŚĂƐůŽƐƚŝƚƐŵŽƐƚƉŚŽƚŽŐĞŶŝĐƉŽƐƚĞƌďŽLJ͘ news of the al-Qaida mastermind’s tremely clumsy and poorly han- But it is the third camp for demise with a sort of cautious dled effort, more akin to a game whom I’ve saved my best vitriol: satisfaction. There is one less re- of cops and robbers than an or- the apologists and the — ugh, ligious psychopath on the loose, ganized operation. So, celebrate sorry — bleeding hearts (I cringe Western civilization — and that not make anyone more noble by and one of the world’s most ag- away if you wish, but don’t get too to use that term, as it makes me doing so will earn them an eter- default, and a man who had no gressive terrorist organizations brazen. This is not America’s fin- sound like a conservative dick- nity in heaven. How naïve of us to nobility in life deserves none in has lost its most photogenic est hour. The country has far more head, but I feel it’s appropriate). assume that anything we’ve got to death. The unceremonious dis- poster boy. Both are positives, humility than glory coming to it I’m consistently astounded to offer will trump that, or that asking posal of bin Laden’s remains was in my opinion, but don’t think from the past 10 years. discover that for every vile, cruel, them nicely will persuade them to not offensive but suitably ignoble. this means we can let our guard The second camp is the skep- and seemingly indisputably evil leave us alone. It didn’t work on He has undoubtedly long since down now. I don’t believe the risk tics, who were further divided into human being who rises, there will the schoolyard bullies, and all they been shredded and devoured by of an attack has either increased two groups. There are the doubt- always be those who try to make were after was lunch money. the various hungry creatures of or decreased in light of his death ers, who quite reasonably ques- excuses for him. Bin Laden is no A particularly grating group the sea, and I frankly have more — any attack they make under tion the official report of bin Lad- exception. is those objecting not only to bin sympathy for the shark whose di- the banner of retaliation would en’s death and with whom I have Most obviously, the philosophy Laden’s death, but to the method gestive system now has to figure have been made anyway, under no problem whatsoever. Then of impractical pacifism is the ex- in which his body was put to rest out a way to deal with that tangled the banner of jihad. We can hope there are the deniers, who scream cuse. Al-Qaida may have attacked — a quick burial at sea. Muslim beard. that bin Laden’s demise has left a with absolute certainty that he’s us heinously, but “violence isn’t scholars, and apologists therefore, Fourth, there are the defeatists, power vacuum to keep al-Qaida still alive and well, or further, that the answer”, “two wrongs don’t are vehemently protesting such a who suggest that it doesn’t mat- occupied for the time being, but he never existed in the first place. make a right”, “why can’t we be burial, as it is not in accordance ter one way or the other. Killing they will be back. By all means, Again, I can’t really argue with this friends?”, et cetera. In other words, with Islamic tradition and thus bin Laden won’t solve anything; we should savour this small vic- particular camp. The fact that we going to war was an immoral thing displays a deplorable lack of re- al-Qaida will simply find someone tory, but temper it with humility haven’t seen any evidence for bin to do, and what was really in order spect for the religion. This feeble to take his place and this war will for its high price, and keep our Laden’s death does beg a num- was peace negotiation and ratio- complaint is obnoxious for two continue forever, so in the end we eyes open for what may be on the ber of questions (though I would nal discussion. I officially support reasons: one, it attempts to con- needn’t have bothered at all. This horizon. point out to deniers that they’ve such a policy in many situations, fuse the issue by portraying it as a is an instance of ‘good point, bad Don’t hit the brakes just yet. provided just as little evidence for but the problem here is that it’s victimization of an entire religion, response’. I alluded to the religious We’re not out of bat country. the peak