Undead in Uptown Annual pre-Halloween Zombie Walk hits Waterloo Local, page 6 JODY WAARDENBURG STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER Football Hawks THE limp into playo s Sports, page 20 The tie that binds Wilfrid Laurier University since 1926 Volume 53, Issue 11 Wednesday, October 24, 2012 thecord.ca Stabbing Fall near break campus Injuries serious but far o not life threatening Laurier unlikely to see fi rst-semester LINDSAY PURCHASE LOCAL AND NATIONAL EDITOR break next year A man and woman were victims o a MARISSA EVANS non-fatal stabbing in a disturbance LEAD REPORTER early Tuesday morning in Water- loo. Waterloo Regional Police Ser- While some Ontario colleges and vice (WRPS) responded to the call universities had fall reading weeks around 3:30 a.m. at 90 Marshall for students this past month, Wil- Street, an apartment residence near frid Laurier University students will the intersection o Marshall and have to continue to battle through Weber Street. fall term mid-term stress, as fall The suspect, who fl ed in advance Women’s soccer team reading days may not be an option o the arrival o police, also entered heads to post-season until at least the 2014-15 academic a residence at 67 Marshall Street year. and assaulted a male occupant. as OUA West Division’s On Oct. 17, the university’s fall According to WRPS, the stabbing top seed study days committee met to con- victims sufered serious, but non- tinue the discussion surrounding life threatening injuries, while the Sports, page 19 fall study days at WLU. other male victim sustained a minor The meeting resulted in some injury. large developments, including a new The male suspect was appre- focus which will lead to an expand- hended by police ater fl eeing the ed process for looking at fall study scene o the second crime, though days. charges have not yet been laid. He is However, this also means stu- believed to have been known by the dents probably won’t be seeing fall victims. study days during the upcoming Robyn Willert, a resident o the 2013-14 year. neighbouring apartment, said that “Given the broad nature o what she saw police cars when she got we’re reviewing , it will take a long CRISTINA RUCCHETTA FILE PHOTO time and the full implications o Laurier defender Kelsey Tikka (3) has been one of many key contributors to the Golden Hawks so far News, page 3 it probably won’t be in place until this season. The team awaits their quarter fi nal opponent after earning a fi rst-round bye. 2014-15,” explained Chris Walker, vice president o university afairs for the Wilfrid Laurier University Students’ Union. Inside “We came to the conclusion that we can’t talk about fall study days and the mental health component Changing face o that without also looking at the BOTTOM THROWS Worst. Costumes. Ever. impacts it will have on Orienta- -FOOTBALL/SOCCER (WHICHEVER ISN’T USED IN tion Week, as well as the academic FLAG), PHOTO/CUTOUT Cord Life’s Michael Porfi rio lists Looking at the new trends in transition component o what we’re -SOMETHING FROM NEWS WITH A GRAPHIC the top fi ve costumes to avoid this Waterloo real estate trying to accomplish out o a strong -SOMETHING FROM OPINION WITH A GRAPHIC Halloween orientation program.” -IN DEPTH (?) As a response to this concern, the Life, page 12 WLUSU will be working with the university, particularly student af- fairs, to strike a task force to look at the fi rst year experience as a whole. Last year, it was concerns such as these that halted the debate regard- ing fall reading days when the issue was brought to the WLU Senate. Ater the school o business and In Depth, page 10 Campus, page 4 2 • THE CORD • WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 24, 2012 Editor-in-Chief Editor’s choice Editor’s choice online Justin Fauteux Football team looks to correct mistakes Video: Happy Halloween from The Cord [email protected] Sports, page 20 thecord.ca Inside you, and I really need you right now. Is that too forward? Sincerely, Vocal Cord News ………………………3 DearLIFE Can’t get through midterm season Dear the boss’ boss, presented without you I don’t need your inside info – I just by Campus ……………… 4 Dear Life is your opportuni to write a want inside. Local ………………… 6 letter to your life, allowing you to vent Dear Taco Bell lover, Sincerely, National ……………… 8 your anger with life’s little frustrations in Thought you should know, Taco Bell Sorry not sorry What would be your a completely public forum. was never meant to be eaten ater In Depth ……………… 10 All submissions to Dear Life are anon- it has come out o your ass…that’s Dear Frequent Starers, weapon of choice Life ……………………… 12 ymous, should be no longer than 100 probably why it tastes so bad. You really need to cut it out… I during the zombie Arts ……………………… 14 words and must be addressed to your life. It’s called excrement for a reason. mean, I can’t really help it that my apocalypse? Submissions can be sent to dearlife@ But I guess, one man’s trash is an- voice is so loud and obnoxious. Es- Editorial ……………… 16 thecord.ca no later than Monday at noon other man’s treasure? Or then again, pecially when you give dirty looks… Opinion ……………… 17 each week. maybe not. i you want a silent area go fi nd a Sports ………………… 19 Sincerely, designated one, not gonna happen Dear Life, Your Syntax Admirer in 2-4. I think I will dress up as our athletic Sincerely, CORRECTIONS director for Halloween. I’m sure I’ll Dear Life, You Love My Stories Anyway In the Oct. 17 article “WLU GSA an- be able to scare some baseball and I you want to improve the mental nounces new president and CEO volleyball players around campus. health o students don’t schedule Dear Life, Laleh Samarbakhsh,” The Cord in- Sincerely, back to back to back exams for core Stop picking up guys at Phil’s. Even correctly wrote new president Laleh Not impressed with athletics on courses. Oh wait, you actually don’t i they say they’re not trying to get “A frying pan.” Samarbakhsh’s last name as “Sara- campus care. in your pants, their 2 a.m. text mes- –Sira Diaby bakhsh” in multiple paragraphs. Sincerely, sages beg to difer. third-year, health science In the Oct. 17 article “Scarfi ng Dear Life, Smile for the Camera! Sincerely, poutine,” The Cord stated the pou- I wish the old Dining Hall salad bar Wheeling at the library tine eating contest took place in the was back. The new one sucks with Dear Life, Terrace, when in fact it was in The only hal the options as before. I I have begun to realize that ater Dear Life, Turret. thought the dining hall changed so dark, campus turns into a fi rst year’s Remember to put everything into In the Oct. 17 article “K-W gets we have more healthy options, in- haven. In which they may speak perspective, whether it be the good tech funds,” The Cord failed to clar- stead there are more gluten fi lled loudly about the heavy fl ow they’re or the bad, understand its impor- ify that the description “a mentor- options. getting while on their period (TMI), tance in life by placing it properly ship organization that functions to Sincerely, the results o their chemistry lab, into perspective. facilitate startup businesses” ref- I will take my money elsewhere how to print from the hub and play Sincerely, fered to the Velocity Garage at UW ‘who would you do’ pro edition. Don’t sweat the small stu and not Weston Expressions Inc. Dear Focus, Sincerely, “My fi sts.” The Cord apologizes for these Why did you leave me? It’s been too Night Owl Dear First Years Looking at Houses, –Kin Ho errors. long since I’ve spent the night with Domus screwed me out o over 100 third-year, business Dear Life, dollars last year by exploiting a legal What is going on with the Tim Hor- loophole. They were exceptionally ton’s in the science building?! No lazy about repairs in spite o my nu- egg salad, a limited supply o bagels, merous maintenance requests and and no soup variety. they let the kitchen sink leak for four Sincerely, months before repairing it prop- Not worth the 20-minute wait erly. Even ater hiring a new main- tenance manager, they refused to Dear Life, acknowledge the presence o mould An ode to lover boy. I watch you or even bring in a mould inspec- sip that Arizona and wish that I tor even though the kitchen stunk o were that can so I could touch your mould and you could even SEE IT in “A shotgun.” sot supple lips. The grace you nod the sink cabinet. In case you don’t –Joseph Redman your head with in class cannot be see my point, stay the hell away fi rst-year, math and busi- matched, your adorable ugly sweat- from them. ness ers, hair that can’t bounce because Sincerely, it’s too greasy and the way you walk Good luck to the new tenants o my (which is way too fast, can hardly old house. follow you efectively) are divine as can be. I shout on the inside but the Dear Life, words can somehow never reach my Please tell the d-bag in the business mouth.