Communication: Parents Need to Realize That Talking with a Child Effectively Involves More

Helena Elementary School

A Guide to Kindergarten Welcome Future Kindergarten Parent!

This packet is full of information that will better prepare your child for kindergarten. Kindergarten has changed drastically over the years and we want to help you to ensure that your child will have the most successful year possible.

We look forward to a great year of learning! Top 10 Ways to Help Your Child Become a Successful Kindergartener

Communication: Parents need to realize that talking with a child effectively involves more than giving directions or orders. The first step of effective communication is to discuss with the child his or her understanding of the direction given, what is to actually happen and how the action will affect the outcome. An example of this would be to stop what you’re doing, look at the child, give the direction, and ask them to repeat what needs to happen. Small children, five and under, will probably need you to start the task with them and will need some supervision as the task is carried out. One direction at a time is about all a five year old can coordinate at a time. A long list will only prevent the child from being able to complete the task successfully.

Discussion: Five year olds need parents to discuss the feelings of others; for instance, when the other team wins or someone else obtains the prize. Five year olds are still in the developmental stage of only being concerned with their own desires and needs. Poor sportsmanship is often displayed and this is a time to talk about being a good sport and taking the perspective of the other person and how they feel. By working with the child on his or her feelings you will develop their ability to share and play fairly.

Respect: Parents show respect for their child by expecting their children to obey. This is not the same as hoping, wishing, begging, etc. Expecting is an attitude and a strong belief that the child will do what is asked. Children show their respect for their parents by obeying the parent. “N” Vitamin: “N” stands for NO. This is a word that is very necessary for the young child to learn. “NO” is important because it is a word that protects the child from danger, sets the limits necessary in life, and conveys that the adult is the voice of authority. “NO” is not the vitamin that is to be given in large doses, but rather at an appropriate time and in a timely fashion. Examples of good times to say and mean “No” is when the child is running in a public place, climbing where they should not climb, interrupting two adults who are talking, and meddling with objects that do not belong to him in stores or public places. Understanding authority as the way of the world he is entering is imperative to his success. And, more importantly than saying “No,” is meaning “No.” A young child learns very quickly if tears or tantrums work to change a “No” to a “Yes.” If the tantrums and tears work to get them what they want, this behavior will continue.

Attention: How much is too much? Most authorities in education and psychology will tell you that children of today have been made to feel that they are the center of attention. This sets the child up to believe that s/he will be treated this way in any group of which s/he is a part. The five year old needs help to understand that s/he has obligations to others. Help the child not only to be a dependant of the family but an active part of the family by giving them responsibilities and duties in the family and encouraging their talents and abilities. This is a self-confidence builder and promotes a feeling of pride. Small chores and time with the family allow you, the parent; to impart your values and beliefs that gives your child a realistic view of his or her place in the family. Remember, attention is addictive and intoxicating, making it necessary to dispense only the amount truly needed. Don’t let the child feel that he is the center of everything but rather a valuable part of the whole family. If you find yourself trying to “please” your child at every turn, too much attention is being given to him.

Quality Attention: Give your school age child personal attention or his “moment in time” by not including other children in the family at events designed for the five year old. Examples of this would be bringing younger children to events such as field trips, class parties, or lunch. Make the event something special for the five year old. The presence of another sibling sends the message that their activity is not important enough to warrant your full attention because you will have to divert attention to the sibling. Meals: The opportunity to teach manners, respect, patience and almost every important value of the family is available at the dinner table. This is the time when the child sees his unique place in the most valuable unit he can have, his family. Lunch manners at school include sitting on his/her bottom, eating and then talking quietly with the friends around them. We often use the analogy that you should use the same manners that your parent/guardian uses at a restaurant.

Interrupting: Learning patience will enhance his ability to communicate politely with adults and other children. Everyone appreciates a considerate person. Take time to show your child how to handle these situations and offer praise when s/he remembers. Your good manners will brighten his or her chances of success.

Making a Mistake: Taking responsibility for one’s actions is an important life skill. When your five year old makes a mistake (and s/he will) help the child own up to the mistake and realize that we learn from our mistakes. If the child can develop this attitude toward mistakes, s/he will more likely be honest when asked if s/he is responsible for something that has happened.

Parenting a Young Child: The most important contribution parents make in the world is the job they do in raising their children. Children are a treasure and a blessing. Childhood comes around only once and it is important for the parents to help the child be a child for as long as s/he needs to be. This makes it necessary for the parent to shield the child from subject matter that is too mature or too grown up. The parent needs to be careful about the discussions around the child or exposure to media that is too advanced. Give your child the wonderful gift of childhood by holding back on grown up worries or activities. Characteristics of an Entering Five Year Old

The five year old child is physically suited for action and movement. Kindergarten is a place of great activity, experiences and motion.

Physical characteristics of this age child are: *Large muscle: Catches, bounces, throws, runs, jumps, hops, skips, balances on one foot. *Small muscle: Manipulates objects (Legos, blocks), controls scissors, copies circle, triangle, square, paints with brushes.

The five year old develops in these visual perceptive ways: * Matches and sorts by color, shape *Determines simple likeness and difference *Sequences objects and pictures by size *Classifies by 1 attribute (size, color, shape) *Strings beads following simple patterns *Identifies missing parts of a pictures

What interpersonal skills begin to emerge in the five year old? *Cares for physical needs (dressing, zipper) *Work in small groups *Takes two-step directions *Sits for 10 minute story *Assumes responsibility for completing task *Indicates willingness to attempt more difficult tasks *Plays cooperatively *Helps on clean-up, serving snacks *Verbalizes feelings related to events in class

Five year olds begin to display these academic readiness behaviors:

*Recognizes name in print *Recognizes rhyming words *Recognizes some letters *Follows two part oral commands *Retells experiences *Recites nursery rhymes *Learn short songs *Counts to 10 *Matches similar items *Describes common objects *Identifies pairs of words that rhyme *Reproduces rhythmic patterns (clapping) *Names a variety of environmental sounds and matches with pictures *Responds to presence and/or location of sounds Responsibilities at home that will lead to success as a kindergartener. Four Year Old Children *Begin to have personal responsibilities with supervision (baths, cleaning ears, brushing teeth) *Begin to help do yard work, fetch tools and help with repairs *Begin to make his or her own bed with assistance *Pick up his toys without supervision *Begin to help fold towels and bath cloths with supervision *Begin to set the table with assistance *Dress himself or herself correctly *Begin to mop his or her own spills

Five Year Old Children At Home The child should be responsible: *For personal hygiene with much supervision *To begin to pour his or her own drink *To fix his or her own cereal for breakfast * Make sandwiches with assistance *To make his or her bed everyday *To keep up with his or her shoes *To take out the garbage *To help bring in groceries and put them away *To help fold and put away laundry *To vacuum with supervision *To tie shoelaces with some assistance *To begin to show good table manners * To begin to take care of his or her own room *To dress and undress themselves and put their clothes in the clothes hamper

Five Year Old Children At School The child should be responsible: *For bringing notes home *For bringing papers home to be signed *For keeping up with needed school supplies *For keeping up with clothing (coats, sweaters) *For learning and keeping school rules * To work in pairs, to take care of his or her own and his or her partner’s desk *For beginning to work and play with others. Success in Starting School Procedures you can initiate to promote a good beginning.

E stablish a trustful relationship with the school -learn about the environment -know the people who interact with your child

P ortray a positive attitude toward the school experiences -show by actions and comments that you are confident -treat “starting school” as a natural step -model that change is an exciting and expected part of life -expect good experiences to come from this new avenue

E stablish a routine for the family -plan well in advance and stick to the structure you create -plan for plenty of sleep and rest -provide meals as a family at home -provide time for talk to occur without distractions -make reading each night a habit-listening and talking about books is the first step to becoming a reader

S chool Arrival -Be on time. It is stressful for a child to come in after the class has begun. -join others in assigned places to generate security of belonging -reassure with a hug, smile, etc. Give the “gift of confidence” by avoiding goodbyes that generate uncertainty and subtle messages.

F ollow procedures -school procedures should be observed to establish a purposeful environment -safety of the children is a staff commitment

C ommunication -send notes or email the classroom teacher to clarify any changes or concerns within the family, change in the child’s transportation or if you need to set up a meeting Questions and Answers about Starting School

1. What should I do if my child cries and does not want to come to school? Response: Encourage him/her to go to school and send a note to inform the teacher. Be positive, calm and firm when encouraging the child to go to school. Let him/her know that all of us are sometimes hesitant about going places, but it is necessary to go and be brave.

2. What if my child says he/she doesn’t feel well? Response: If the child has no fever and is not vomiting, send him to school with a note to the teacher for awareness purposes. DO NOT say to the child, “Have your teacher call if you don’t feel well.” Remember, this is your opportunity to help your child develop a sense of self-discipline and work ethic for success in the future. Say to the child that his/her teacher will know what to do.

3. What about bed time? Response: A generally accepted bed time is between 7 and 8 pm. Many child specialists indicate that children often require at least 10 hours of sleep. Whatever you decide, be consistent with the time.

4. And TV? Response: Most researchers and child psychologists agree that television viewing can be seriously disadvantageous to a child’s development. We encourage you to provide your child with opportunities to develop competency skills through exercise. Physical activities such as drawing, coloring, painting with watercolors, building structures (Legos, Tinker Toys, etc.) allow children to be creative, active, productive and to develop problem-solving skills. In short, television involves passive activity whereas physical activity involves active learning.

5. My child says he/she has no friends- what shall I do? Response: It is not unusual for children this age to report they have no friends, but trust us; they play with others on a regular basis. Disagreements are not unusual at this age, but when left alone to face the conflict, they can usually settle the problem on their own. 6. How often should my child have friends over? Response: Occasional visits during the month appear to be the norm, but of course every day is excessive.

7. Will my child think school is fun? Response: The child will think school is fun after he sees himself or herself learning to do new and exciting things. Please, however, do not describe to the child that school will be fun in the weeks before s/he begins. S/he will expect something similar to Disney World and as you know that is not the case. Let him or her learn that learning is fun and having responsibility for things s/he can do will help develop a sense of pride and confidence.