Introduction .A Message to Bishops Or Branch Presidents

English

One-On-One AddictionOne-On-One Counseling Addiction Advising

Guidelines for Therapists, Counselors, Church Leaders, and Designated Mentors

Europe Area

Edition: 8 Augustl 2010

2 One-On-One Addiction Counseling – Europe Area Contents

Acknowledgement…………………………………………………………………. Introduction……………………………………………………………………………. A Message to Bishops or Branch Presidents……………………………………. A Typical Addiction Story………………………………………………………….. Nature and Types of Addictions…………………………………………………. Common Characteristics of Addictions………………………………………… Letter of Commitment……………………………………………………………… 1. Counseling Session Introduction for the Addict …………………… The 12 Steps for the Latter-day Saints……….. Part # 1 Get Acquainted with Manual…….. Part # 2 Questionnaires………………………. Stages of Change Scale………….. Interview Questions………………… Part # 3 ARP Step # 1 Honesty…………………….. Part # 4 E-mailing your counselor……………0

2 Counseling Session......

Part # 1 Values Clarification Assignment……… Part # 2 Values Clarification List………………… Part # 3 Problem Identification Worksheet….

3. Counseling Session………………………………………………………………………………………….

4. Counseling Session......

ARP Step # 2......

ARP Step # 3…………………………,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

One-On-One Addiction Counseling – Europe Area 3 ARP Step # 4………………………………………………… 07. Counseling Session…………………………………………………………….. ARP Step # 5………………………………………………… 08. Counseling Session……………………………………………………………… ARP Step # 6………………………………………………… 09. Counseling Session……………………………………………………………… ARP Step # 7………………………………………………… 10. Counseling Session…………………………………………………………….. ARP Step # 8…………………………………………… 11. Counseling Session…………………………………………………………….. ARP Step # 9……………………………………………… 12. Counseling Session…………………………………………………… ARP Step # 10…………………………………………… 13. Counseling Session…………………………………………………………… ARP Step # 11…………………………………………… 14. Counseling Session…………………………………………………………… ARP Step # 12………………………………………

Appendix Stages of Change Scale Scoring Instructions……………………………….. E-mail Letter to Individuals Requesting Individual Counseling……………. Information Relation to Pornography…………………………………………... Develop a Personal Recovery Plan…………………………………………….. Determining the Level of Pornographic Involvement………………………. Articles : Finding Recovery from Pornographic Addictions…………………..

4 One-On-One Addiction Counseling – Europe Area Acknowledgements

Appreciation and thanks is expressed to LDS Family Services, their staff and associates that developed the LDS Family Services “Addiction Recovery Program.” This guidebook is based on the ARP group therapy plan and will be used extensively through out the counseling and training of individuals experiencing addiction problems.

We also acknowledge information gleaned from “Helping Individuals Stop Using Pornography” developed by Mental Health Resources Foundation and the many articles on addiction written by Church leaders and other professionals that will be given to individuals receiving counseling

The treatment model associated with this one-on-one approach for working with individuals with addiction issues was developed by Elder Jay Wimmer and revised by Elder Leon H. Blake under the supervision of William Blacoe, Area Welfare/LDS Family Services Manager, Europe Area, (2008).

One-On-One Addiction Counseling – Europe Area 5 Introduction Stake/Ward Addiction Recovery Program (SARP)

Guiding Purpose

The Primary purpose of a Stake/Ward Addiction Recovery Program(SARP) is to assist individuals and families to overcome and recover addictions and more fully enjoy the blessings of church participation and temple covenants.

Discription of Services

SARP sponsors recovery support groups for those struggling with addictions. Addictions can include the use of substances, such as tobacco, alcohol, coffee, tea and drugs (both prescription and illegal), and behaviors such as gambling, codependency, and disorders associated with eating. Those individuals involved with pornography and inappropriate sexual behavior will be dealt with in a separate group.

Missionary – investigator – benefits

Investigators and recent baptized members with past or present substance abuse issues can profit from attending weekly Addiction Recovery meetings before and following baptism until the new convert has successfully obtained one year of recovery or sobriety and actively participated in Addiction Recovery Program meetings for at least 3 months

Bishop/Branch President Responsibilities

Wards will start to identify members (active –non-active) member for referral into the SARP program. Bishop/Branch Presidents – Ward Welfare Committee will develop a confidential list of individuals who could benefit from the SARP.

Bishops/Branch Presidents will heed to help identify SARP facilitators – Program facilitators are individuals that have at least 12 months of sobriety or recovery and have testimonies of the restored gospel and currently live the Church standards. Names will be submitted to the Stake President who will issue the call.

SARP program Coordinator will meet and discuss possible members for the program with referring Bishops or Branch Presidents.

Bishops will work with SARP Program Coordinators to develop contact information for Ward Bulletins about pending SARP meetings.

6 One-On-One Addiction Counseling – Europe Area The stake working with the SARP Coordinator will establish a starting time for the program to commence.

There may be times when there is no professional councilor available to carry out this treatment model. When this happens, you can call from your ward or stake, a priesthood/relief society leader who can serve as a mento r for the individuals with the addiction program.

The mentor needs to be a person who will be sensitive to addiction problems. They need to be non-judgmental. They should have an understanding of how addiction problems can negatively influence the behavior and spiritual growth of an individual and the family. This person needs to be a person who has a positive and enthusiastic attitude and who can motivate and encourage other individuals to change and seek a better spiritual life.

The Bishop/Branch President should work with the Stake President or person designated from the Stake or District to coordinate the Addiction Recovery Program (ARP). This is necessary to insure that the mentor called receives sufficient training in the ARP.

If no individual exist to function as a mentor from the ward or stake level, and you have only one or two in your area with an addiction program, then you as a Bishop or Branch President may assume this role and use materials prepared to assist you in the counseling process.

We often have to tailor treatment models to meet individual circumstances. This may be the case regarding the Addiction Recovery Program of the Church. When a counselor or a mentor only has one or two identified individual requesting help for an addiction problem, a group experience may be impossible for a period of time. The One on One Program is a program prepared to address ways that a counselor or mentor can start to counsel single individuals with addiction problems.

This manual will address ways that a counselor, mentor, or Priesthood Leader can start to assist an individual(s) with an addiction problem.

If the individual is motivated to change their addictive behavior, they should then be invited to work with a counselor or mentor who will use as part of their treatment model resources found within the Europe LDS Family Services program. These resources will encourage the individual to study and apply the teachings of Jesus Christ along with professional counseling. The combination of the two will help to empower the individual to sustain success in ways the individual has not been able do on their own.

This treatment model is designed in the beginning to provide a lot of structure through individual reporting and personal accountability. The counselor/mentor will use appropriate confrontation (not a passive approach), support, and strength based treatment techniques to help the individual succeed in their treatment program. As the individual gains success with their understanding of their addictive behavior and demonstrates successful sobriety and/or abstinence, the program becomes less structured with the individual taking more of the responsibility for their ongoing treatment results.

One-On-One Addiction Counseling – Europe Area 7 The lessons and counseling in this handbook are designed in a way that will support a person to move forward at their own pace. In reality an individual will often take weeks to move from one step to another. With this in mind, the counselor/mentor may need to prepare to go slower using supportive techniques involving a lot of review of the materials with which the addicted individual is working. It may be helpful for the counselor/mentor to draw on articles written by Church leaders and others to support the points and the step they are working on.

8 One-On-One Addiction Counseling – Europe Area

Nature and Types of Addictions

A TYPICAL ADDICTION STORY

“About a year ago, I woke up in a trailer someplace in Illinois, full of drugs and alcohol, and I didn’t remember anything I’d done. I remember only that on my business trip, as soon as the plane landed, it took me all of about 10 minutes to ditch my colleagues, go straight to the bar, and disappear for three days. The second day- the day I was suppose to fly home-was my daughter’s birthday.”

Mark (name has been changed) didn’t know how he would overcome his addiction to drugs and alcohol. He had already tried and tried to quite. Over and over again, he had promised himself that he was going to quit and he would never drink or use again. He strongly believed that if he used and exerted all his will power he could stop his addictive behavior, yet within a very short time he was right back or worse off than where he was before. Each time he made these promises, yet returned to drinking or using drugs, likewise, the more of a failure he felt and the harder it seemed to try again. He found himself beginning to lose hope that he could ever change. Others seem to be able to quite, but this did not seem to be in the “cards” for him. “After each time I gave in, I would say, ‘This is going to be different. Please, Lord, help me. I don’t want this to be a part of my life. Yet, it continued to be.’”

This is not an isolated case or situation. Whether it is drugs or alcohol or pornography or any of the other addictions, the same trend and behavior typically follows. Once the addiction gets started, one is not able to give it up. Over and over again, the individuals find themselves arriving at the juncture of saying, “what can I do to stop this obsessive behavior.”

Recovering from any type of addiction is not an easy process. It is hard. It requires one to seriously acknowledge that he/she has a problem and can not or has not been able to solve the problem on their own. It requires them to acknowledge that their life has become unmanageable and they have become powerless over their problem. One of the most effective programs for assisting individuals to recover is Alcohol Anonymous (AA) This program was initiated by some individuals who found themselves in the same state of mind that has been described. After much effort, they found that the only way they could recover and remain sober was to acknowledge their inability to recover on their own “will power”. They learned that they needed to call upon a much greater “power” or “high power” to assist them with this recovery process. Of course, in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we know that that “Higher Power” is the Savior, Jesus Christ. We

One-On-One Addiction Counseling – Europe Area 9 have learned from extensive experience that those who have acknowledged their problems and have been willing, “humbly willing” to reach out to their Savior and fellowmen, have been able to begin their recovery and refrain from their addictive behavior or obsession. Again, it is not been easy. This is what this program is all about. It is about acknowledging, openly and honestly, that you have a problem and are willing to take the necessary steps which have been outlined to bring about recovery.

Some people consider addictions simply as bad habits that can be conquered by their will power alone. Many individuals become dependent and trapped by a behavior or substance from which they can no longer abstain. They lose their agency and their perspective to change destructive behaviors. They often lose a sense of other values and priorities that are important for everyday functioning and management of their lives.

Addictions or compulsive behaviors that bishops and counselors will frequently encounter are the following:

 Alcohol  Drugs Use – both prescription and illegal  Hallucinogens – glue sniffing, industrial chemicals, and spray paint  Tobacco  Coffee and tea  Pornography  Sexual Addictions  Gambling and Gaming  Eating disorders  Compulsive spending/shopping  Shop Lifting and Theft  Lying and Cheating

COMMON CHARACTERISTICS OF ADDICTIONS

Almost all addictions tend to have common characteristics. If you know them and understand them, then it becomes easier to recognize when one is addicted or on the road to addiction. The following are a number of these characteristics:

1. One of the most common traits is that they will tend to minimize their addiction. If you were to bring it up to them, they would say, “Oh, it is nothing, I use a little, I drink a little, but it’s nothing, I can stop any time I want. You are making a big deal out of nothing. Don’t worry about it.” 2. They tend to be dishonest. To them, it is just not telling the “whole” truth. They hid some of the whole story of what is going on. You never seem to find out exactly how much they are using or performing the behavior. You almost always know that they are not telling the whole truth about a good part of their life. Whatever they share with you is usually only the tip of iceberg. What you are told is usually about twenty per cent of the total picture. You always need to expect more and ask yourself, “What else is going on that he/she is not telling me?” 3. They are mostly silent about their addictive world. They may talk a lot about other things and happenings, but will talk very little about what is going on in relation to their addiction. In most cases, they live in another “world”, a separate addictive

10 One-On-One Addiction Counseling – Europe Area world. This other life is kept hidden and silent. Those who use, drink, or engage in the same addictive behavior might know of their behaviors or actions, but this is not divulged to the majority of individuals. In many instances, even there “using” friends are not aware of the total story. 4. In most cases, addictive behavior is done in isolation. The more their addiction increases, or takes over, the more isolated and alone they become. When the addiction is very serious, they will spend a lot of time alone and away from others. There will be a lot of time unaccounted for. Even with an alcoholic, at first they will drink to be sociable and have fun, they may spend a lot of time drinking with friends and with a group, but as the alcoholism increases, they drink more and more in isolation and by themselves. They always have a bottle stashed somewhere. 5. Addictions progress through stages or phases, typically from just experimenting to trying it infrequently, to greater experimentation, to eventual physical and psychological dependency. Dr. W. Dean Belnap in his book, “The Brain Gone Wrong, Hope for the Troubled Teen, 2008” indicates that indeed the brain, with the chemistry and the neuro-connections has gone wrong, or has been changed and altered. The professionals are able to track by neuro-imagery the electrical and chemical pathways of the brain and how the brain processes information. They are able to observe how the brain’s activity changes. An individual with an addiction will experience euphoric, stimulating emotions and feelings. The more they use or do the behavior, the feelings begin to diminish in intensity, so they use more or drink more or act the behavior more trying to duplicate the “feelings” or the “highs” they once had. The more they repeat this same behavior the more the feelings diminish, this is what is called tolerance. This is how dependency becomes established. Again, professionals indicate that addictions are progressive, meaning that they increase in becoming more obsessive and compulsive. Thus to work with an individual who has an addiction problem, regardless of the addiction, you have to keep in mind there are specific characteristics that are recognizable. If you understand these characteristics it is much easier to identify and determine the seriousness of the addiction and when you need to consider referring the person for treatment and help.

LETTER OF COMMITMENT

I acknowledge that I have an Addictive Problem and I am willing to commit to the following:

1. complete all that is requested of me.

One-On-One Addiction Counseling – Europe Area 11 2. faithfully read the materials given me 3. honestly complete the written assignments. 4. do all in my power to be open with my counselor/mentor. 5. keep the scheduled appointments and promptly notify my counselor/mentor if not able to keep the appointment and reschedule a follow-up appointment

Name:______Date:______Bishop/Branch President/Counselor/Mentors Acknowledgment

1. Counseling Session

INTRODUCTION FOR THE ADDICTED PERSON

LDS Family Services Addiction Recovery Program has adapted the original Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. into a framework of the doctrines, principles, and beliefs of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. The twelve steps are reprinted and adapted with permission of Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. (A.A.W.S.) While A.A is a spiritual program, A.A. is not a religious program. Thus, A.A. is not affiliated or allied with any sect, denomination, or specific religious belief.

12 One-On-One Addiction Counseling – Europe Area THE 12 STEPS FOR LATTER-DAYS SAINTS

Step 1 Admit that you, of yourself, are powerless to overcome your addictions and that your life has become unmanageable. (Honesty) Step 2 Come to believe that the power of God can restore you to complete spiritual health. (Hope) Step 3 Decide to turn your will and your life over to the care of God the Eternal Father and His Son, Jesus Christ. (Trust in God) Step 4 Make a searching and fearless written moral inventory of yourself. (Truth) Step 5 Admit to yourself, to your Heavenly Father in the name of Jesus Christ, to proper priesthood authority, and to another person the exact nature of your wrongs. (Confession) Step 6 Become entirely ready to have God remove all your character weaknesses. (Change of Heart) Step 7 Humbly ask Heavenly Father to remove your shortcomings. (Humility) Step 8 Make a written list of all persons you have harmed and become willing to make restitution to them. (Seeking Forgiveness) Step 9 Wherever possible, make direct restitution to all persons you have harmed. (Resitution) Step 10 Continue to take personal inventory, and when you are wrong promptly admit it. (Accountability) Step 11 Seek through prayer and meditation to know the Lord’s will and to have the power to carry it out. (Personal Revelation and Spiritual Guidance) Step 12 Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, share this message with others and practice these principles in all you do. (Service to fellowmen)

Whether you yourself struggle with any addictions or associate with someone who does, this guide can be a blessing in your life. The Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous have been adapted into a framework of the doctrines, principles, and beliefs of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. They are presented in this guide as key principles at the beginning of each section. This guide will help you learn how to apply these key principles; they can change your life. This guide is intended to be a workbook and reference for those attending addiction recovery support groups sponsored by LDS Family Services. However, the doctrines and principles that are taught could also be of great benefit to those who live where participation in a support group is not feasible. This guide can be used by people seeking to change their lives and especially by those willing to work one-on-one with a bishop or a professional counselor. Men and women who have suffered the devastating effects of various addictions and have experienced recovery were invited by LDS Family Services to share their experiences in applying these principles in their lives. Their point of view (the “we” in this guide) is used to convey the anguish of addiction and the joy of healing and recovery. You may find comfort, support, and a common bond with them. Church leaders, counseling and professionals have been involved in writing and developing this guide. The combined wisdom and experience of these many authors stands as yet another witness of the reality of the Atonement of Jesus Christ and the possibility of recovery from addiction. _ _ _

We have known great sorrow, but we have seen the power of the Savior turn our most devastating defeats into glorious spiritual victories. We who once lived with daily depression, anxiety, fear, and debilitating anger now experience joy and peace. We have witnessed miracles in our own lives and in the lives of others who were ensnared in addiction.

One-On-One Addiction Counseling – Europe Area 13 We have paid an awful price in self-inflicted pain and suffering because of our addictions. But blessings have poured forth as we have taken each step to recovery. Having had a spiritual awakening, we strive every day to improve our relationship with Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ. Through the Atonement of Jesus Christ, we are recovering from this devastative condition and life style. We invite you with all our empathy and love to join us in a glorious life of freedom and safety, encircled in the arms of Jesus Christ, our Redeemer. We know by our own experience that you can break free from the chains of addiction. No matter how lost and hopeless you may feel, you are the child of a loving Heavenly Father. If you have been blind to this truth, the principles explained in this guide will help you rediscover it and establish it deep in your heart. These principles can help you come unto Christ and allow Him to change you. As you apply the principles, you will draw on the power of the Atonement and the Lord will free you from bondage. Some people consider addictions to be simply bad habits that can be conquered by willpower alone, but many people become so dependent on a behavior or a substance that they no longer see how to abstain from it. They lose perspective and a sense of other priorities in their lives. Nothing matters more than satisfying their desperate need. When they try to abstain, they experience powerful physical, psychological, and emotional cravings. As they habitually make wrong choices, they find their ability to choose the right diminished or restricted. As President Boyd K. Packer of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles taught: “Addiction has the capacity to disconnect the human will and nullify moral agency. It can rob one of the power to decide” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1989, 16; or Ensign, Nov. 1989, 14).

Addictions can include the use of substances such as tobacco, alcohol, coffee, tea, and drugs (both prescription and illegal), and behaviors such as gambling, codependency, pornography, inappropriate sexual behavior, and disorders associated with eating. These substances and behaviors diminish a person’s ability to feel the Spirit. They harm physical and mental health and social, emotional, and spiritual well-being. Elder Dallin H. Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve taught: “We should avoid any behavior that is addictive. Whatever is addictive compromises our will. Subjecting our will to the overbearing impulses imposed by any form of addiction serves Satan’s purposes and subverts our Heavenly Father’s. This applies to addictions to drugs (such as narcotics, alcohol, nicotine, or caffeine), addiction to practices such as gambling, and any other addictive behavior. We can avoid addictions by keeping the commandments of God” (“Free Agency and Freedom,” Brigham Young University 1987–88 Devotional and Fireside Speeches [1988], 45). By being humble and honest and calling upon God and others for help, you can overcome your addictions through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Just as we have recovered, you can recover and enjoy all the blessings of the gospel of Jesus Christ also. If you suspect you are addicted and if you feel even the smallest desire to break free, we invite you to join us in studying and applying the principles of the gospel of Jesus Christ as they are taught in this guide. We assure you that if you follow this path with a sincere heart, you will find the power you need to recover from addiction. As you apply each of these twelve principles faithfully, the Savior will strengthen you and you will come to “know the truth, and the truth shall make you free” (John 8:32).

Note for participants: This particular manual is designed for a One on One counseling session. You will be given specific reading and other type of assignment in this manual. You are to complete them and share your responses with your counselor or mentor. Throughout the program you will also be referred to another manual entitled, LDS FAMILY SERVICES a Guide to Addiction Recovery and Healing That manual is the main manual designed for individuals working in the Addiction Recovery Groups. When you are referred to that manual you will be expected to locate the page, read the information provided and then answer and respond to the questions associated with that particular Step. If you have questions your counselor or mentor will be able to help you with the task. I tThrouON Counseling Session # 1 will consist of four parts.

Part # 1 It is important for you to become acquainted with the Addictive One on One Recovery Manual. It consists of instructions and specific assignments which you will be required to complete. The more thorough and honest you are, the more beneficial will be this program. With your counselor or mentor, briefly become acquainted with each section of this manual.

14 One-On-One Addiction Counseling – Europe Area Part # 2

With the help of your counselor or mentor, you will be asked to review the extent of your addiction problem. This part will request that you respond to some questions that will help in making an assessment of where you are in relation to your problem. Below is a questionnaire entitled “Stages of Change Scale”. Complete the questionnaire and be prepared to discuss your responses with your counselor or mentor.

Stages of Change Scale

Age: Sex: [___] male [___] female

INSTRUCTIONS: Each statement below describes how a person might feel when starting therapy or approaching problems in their lives. Please indicate the extent to which you tend to agree or disagree with each statement. In each case, make your choice in terms of how you feel right now, not what you have felt in the past or would like to feel.

What brought you to counseling (check only one): __ Self-referred P = Pre-contemplation S t __ Referred by religious leader C = Contemplation r o S n t r g

__ Referred by court or legal system A = Action o l y n

g D __ Referred by employer M = Maintenance D l y i i N s s

A A a a __ Referred or encouraged by family member e g g g g u r r r r t e or spouse e e r e a e e e e l

1. As far as I’m concerned, I don’t have any problems that need change 1 2 3 4 5 P

2. I think I might be ready for some self-improvement 1 2 3 4 5 C

3. I am doing something about the problems that have been bothering me 1 2 3 4 5 A

One-On-One Addiction Counseling – Europe Area 15 State what you have been doing.

4. It might be worthwhile to work on my problems 1 2 3 4 5 C

5. I’m not the one with the problem. It doesn’t make much sense for me to be 1 2 3 4 5 P here. Who has the problem? 6. It worries me that I might slip back on a problem that I have already changed, 1 2 3 4 5 M so I am here to seek help. 7. I am finally doing some work on my problems. What are you doing? 1 2 3 4 5 A

8. I’ve been thinking that I might want to change something about myself 1 2 3 4 5 C

9. I have been successful in working on my problem, but I’m not sure I can keep 1 2 3 4 5 M up the effort on my own.

10. At times my problem is difficult, but I’m working on it 1 2 3 4 5 A

11. Being here is pretty much a waste of time for me because the problem doesn’t 1 2 3 4 5 P really have to do with me. If not you, who?

12. I’m hoping this program will help me to better understand myself 1 2 3 4 5 C

13. I guess I have faults, but there’s nothing that I really need to change 1 2 3 4 5 P

14. I am really working hard to change 1 2 3 4 5 A

15. I have a problem, and I really think I should work on it. What do you 1 2 3 4 5 C consider the problem to be? 16. I’m not following through with what I had already changed as well as I had 1 2 3 4 5 M hoped, and I’m here to prevent a relapse of the problem. 17. Even though I’m not always successful in changing, I am at least working on my 1 2 3 4 5 A problem 18. I thought once I had resolved the problem I would be free of it, but sometimes I 1 2 3 4 5 M still find myself struggling with it.

19. I wish I had more ideas on how to solve my problem 1 2 3 4 5 C

20. I have started working on my problem, but I would like help 1 2 3 4 5 A

21. Maybe this program will be able to help me 1 2 3 4 5 C

22. I may need a boost right now to help me maintain the changes I’ve already 1 2 3 4 5 M made

23. I may be part of the problem, but I don’t really think I am 1 2 3 4 5 P

24. I hope that I will receive some good advice 1 2 3 4 5 C

25. Anyone can talk about changing; I’m actually doing something about it 1 2 3 4 5 A

26. All this talk about psychology is boring. Why can’t people forget about their 1 2 3 4 5 P problems?

16 One-On-One Addiction Counseling – Europe Area 27. I’m here to prevent myself from having a relapse of my problem 1 2 3 4 5 M

28. It is frustrating, but I feel I might be having a recurrence of a problem I thought I 1 2 3 4 5 M had resolved

29. I have worries but so does the next guy. Why spend time thinking about them? 1 2 3 4 5 P

30. I am actively working on my problem 1 2 3 4 5 A

31. I would rather cope with my faults than try to change them 1 2 3 4 5 P

32. After all I have done to try and change my problems, every now and again, they 1 2 3 4 5 M come back to haunt me. ______* Note for Bishops or Mentors: The key to scoring and understand this questionnaire is found In the Appendix # 1. Please turn to it and learn how to use the information you obtain from it. ______

After you have completed the previous questionnaire be prepared to share it with your counselor or mentor.

Your counselor/mentor may also be interested in reviewing the following questions with you. These questions will help him/her in being able to know how to assist you. Be open and honest with him or her.

INTERVIEW QUESTIONS

 Do you recognize you have a problem?  Are you uncomfortable with your condition and situation?  Do you tend to minimize or justify the problem?  Do you find yourself getting defensive or tend to justify the problem?  Do you show or feel sorrowful and regret what you are doing?  Do you want and are you willing to accept help?  What is your commitment to stop? Have you had a plan to stop your addiction in the past?  Will you agree to work with me/us to develop a personal recovery plan?  Will you agree to be honest with those of us who need to know the truth?

Next evaluate your spiritual strengths

 What is your relationship with you Father- in- Heaven?  What is your Church activity?  Will you accept a plan to increase your spirituality in your life?

Assessing other associated concerns such as:

 Have you been a past victim of physical, emotional, or sexual abuse?

One-On-One Addiction Counseling – Europe Area 17  Do you have any emotional or psychological problems that you have been treated for or that you are aware of?  Have you had times when you were confused or extremely anxious?  Have you ever attempted taking your life or seriously thought about taking your life or suiciding?  Have you ever been arrested and/or incarcerated?  What is the relationship with your spouse?  Are there other members of your immediate family who are addicted also?  Are your family members supportive of you seeking recovery? 

PART # 3

In the up-coming week you are to read pages II thru pages 6 of the Addiction Recovery Program Manual. (ARP) This will include introductions, 12 Steps, Introduction and information on Step # 1. As you read this material, answer all the questions as you proceed.

Study, ponder and pray about the first step and be prepared to discuss this chapter and the homework assignment with you counselor or mentor.

(Please turn to page I in the Addiction Recovery Program, A Guide to Addiction Recovery and Healing manual. Read and complete the questions with ARP Step # 1.)

PART # 4

You are to E-mail your counselor or mentor daily. Answer the following questions:

1. Did you refrain from your addictive behavior? 2. Did you have daily prayer? 3. Did you spend time reading the scriptures? 4. What things have you done to keep busy? 5. Tell me about any disruptive thought process you have had? 6. How has your day been in general? 7. How much time did you give your spouse and family? 8. How are you feeling about yourself?

NOTE TO BISHOP, COUNSELOR OR MENTOR

1. Be sensitive the amount of time between your sessions. If an individual has a severe addiction, it would be well to meet with him/her often, ie, every three or four days, especially at the beginning. Once they are moving along well, then you can schedule the meetings further apart, ie, once per week. 2. It is important to be sensitive to the progress of the individuals with the assignments. Some of the individuals might take longer to complete the assignments than the time designated between sessions. As long as the person is working on the assignment and not procrastinating, allow them time to adequately complete the assignments. You can meet with them and review what they have done and encourage them to continue on with their recovery program. 3. Make sure you take time to acknowledge the E-mails. E- mails communications become a very important part of the treatment model. The E-mail process provides information that will be dealt with in the next session. or

18 One-On-One Addiction Counseling – Europe Area may be a prompting that a phone call may be necessary to check on concerns etc. The counselor plays the role of a sponsor often found in a regular AA group. If you do not acknowledge and address the E-mails, individuals will soon stop spending the time to send them to you. 4. The addicted, typically have a tendency to isolate themselves from other people. Encourage him/her to be active with their family, healthy friends, and particularly their Bishop and Priesthood brethren. 5. The counselor, or mentor may need to refer the individual to a recovery/support group, preferably an ARP group. If an ARP groups is not available, then they should look for a Alcoholic Anonymous (AA),or Narcotic Anonymous(NA)group or a similar support group if one exits in the community. . They need the support, encouragement, and sometimes the confronting of other recovering individuals. Caution them to be selective on which group they select. Even though they attend non-LDS AA or NA groups, they need to maintain LDS standards, values and Christian principles.. This will help the individuals remain sober and clean while in counseling and until an LDS ARP group can be established. Encourage them to try and find a smoke free environment if possible. Many groups will often replace one addiction with another addiction, thus caution is necessary when selecting and/or participating in non-LDS recovery groups.

One-On-One Addiction Counseling – Europe Area 19 2nd Counseling Session

First, reviews the information you have sent from the your daily E-mails . If you have not E-mailed as requested this becomes a topic for discussion. Review with you counselor or advisor why you have not followed through with this. E-mailing is a critical part of the recovery program. It will be an important part of focusing on your goals and objectives.

With your counselor or advisor, discuss your involvement with other individuals. Have you isolated yourself or have you made some great steps in making contact with healthy friends and priesthood leaders?

Discuss the spiritual aspects of your week. Have you tried to have a spiritual balance in your daily activities? Share with you counselor how prayer, scripture study and other suggested reading materials have helped you work your program.

Review the progress you have made with your first step assignment. Share what you have learned from what you have studied and completed.

THREE ADDITIONAL PARTS TO ARP STEP # 1.

Part # 1. Values clarification

We find that many individuals have never taken the time to identify and clarify their values. Many are not clear as to what is meant by values. Values are those things which are “most important in your life . When asked the question such as “What do you want out of life?” or “What would you like to accomplish in this life?” Many can not readily respond because they have never contemplated these thoughts. If God were to come to you and tell you that He was going to take everything you have except six things, what would those six things be? This helps you think of what is really valuable or important to you.

Please take the time to write on a separate sheet of paper, what you consider your top ten values to be. Again, we are not talking about personality characteristics such as being honest, or brave, we are talking about things you think are most important to you. Do this assignment without looking on the following page. You may want to spend a day or two pondering and thinking about these values.

Part # 2 of Value Clarification

After you have given the previous assignment some good and serious thought, then turn to the next page. Here you will see a list of twenty five values that other people have

20 One-On-One Addiction Counseling – Europe Area identified. Your assignment is to rank order these values. Take a sheet of paper and write down which of these values you would list as number one, which would be number two and so forth. This assignment is very important because, as you identify your values, then you can begin to focus your time, energy and resources on those values and objectives. Often you will find that you have spent a lot of time in the past floundering because of not being aware of your values or you have been spending a lot of time and effort on things that really do not help you obtain those things that are most important to you.

Complete this assignment and share these values with your counselor or mentor. It would also be good for you to share these values with your spouse and family.

You may want to have your spouse complete the assignment so that the two of you could share with each other.

Remember, it is not important that you have the same identical values but it is important to know what these values are and can be able to communicate them to each other. This can help you in your relationship.

VALUE CLARIFICATION

INSTRUCTION: PLEASE LIST IN RANK ORDER THOSE VALUES YOU THINK ARE MOST IMPORTANT TO YOU.

One-On-One Addiction Counseling – Europe Area 21 1. Being known as a “real” person . _____

2. Being an honest person. _____

3. A meaningful intimate, love relationship. _____

4. Good self-confidence _____

5. Enjoyment of nature and beauty _____

6. A life with meaning, purpose, and fulfillment _____

7. Opportunity and ability to continue learning and gaining knowledge _____

8. A chance to help the sick and disadvantaged _____

9. Positive physical appearance, attractive person _____

10. Honest, close or true friendships _____

11. A long and healthy life. _____

12. A true and meaningful relationship with my Father-in-Heaven _____

13. A healthy, happy marriage relationship. _____

14. A satisfying, successful career doing that which I enjoy, a job of my choice _____

15. Equal opportunity for all God’s children. _____

16. Freedom to live your life as you would want. _____

17. A financially comfortable life. _____

18. Accomplishing something of importance and worthwhile _____

19. An enriched family life. _____

20. An enjoyable, leisure life. _____

21. Unlimited travel opportunity, fine foods, entertainment, recreational

opportunities. _____

22. Being a teacher, trainer, counselor, advisor in helping people grow and

develop. _____

23. A beautiful home in the setting of your choice. _____

24. A chance to develop your talents and be creative in any area. _____

22 One-On-One Addiction Counseling – Europe Area 25. Owning a possession of great value. _____

Part # 3 Problem Identification, Controlling Triggers and Temptation Worksheet

This assignment is labeled “problem identification” because it is to help you become aware and clarify your particular problem. One of the major aspects of recovery is to be able to declare, “I have a problem” In Alcohol Anonymous, it is important to declare specifically your problem. If you were to attend an AA meeting, it would begin by everyone going around the circle and each person would say, “I am______, I am an alcohol, or a drug addict”, or whatever the addiction might be. Addicts tend to minimized or rationalize their problem. To recover, you have to move beyond that and recognized and take ownership of the problem. This happens when you declare what it is.

If you look at the worksheet below, you will see at the top, a box that is labeled. “ State the Problem” Here is where you would specifically declare “your problem”. Now if you look to the right, you will see a box labeled “Avoid”. Here it is important to begin to make an extensive list of things, people, situations, places you need to avoid. All these things are “triggers” for your addiction. Behaviors just don’t happen. Almost always, something has triggered some thoughts, some feelings, and these thoughts and feeling begin to fester and grow. As they do, they gain power and before long you are acting out these thoughts and behaviors. You don’t stop a locomotive when it is ten feet away. Neither do you stop your addiction after you have begun to think obsessively about it and allowed it to build within you. Your recovery program requires you to identify triggers, and recognized them early to be able to take steps to alter and change them.

The next box to the right is labeled “Do” It is important for you to begin to make a list of things that you need to do. What are you going to do, who are you going to associate with, what books are you going to read, what activities are you going to engage in that will occupy your time and mind. This side of the chart is the most important. The mind can not think of two things at the same time. If you are so busy and focused on doing, reading, serving and helping others you won’t have time to allow the triggers to get a start. You need to begin to identify these activities and triggers.

If you have found you have relapsed, you need to analyze what the triggers were that brought about that relapse.

Your assignment is to start working on identifying these triggers and temptations. Between now and the next time you meet with your counselor/mentor identify as many items as you can. Be prepared to share your triggers and your “to do’s” in your next session.

One-On-One Addiction Counseling – Europe Area 23 STATEMENT OF THE PROBLEM

Controlling Triggers and Temptations Worksheet

THING I HAVE TO THINGS I HAVE TO AVOID DO

1. Who are the people? 1. What books need I read?

2. What situations and events? 2. Where must I go?

3. What are the triggers? 3. Who must I be with?

4. What are the cues? 4. What should I think about?

5. What pictures or bill boards? 5. What is my focus?

6. What books, magazines, TV Shows or movies? 6. What are my goals, aims?

7. What routines need I change? 7. What do I do in spare time?

8. Which locations and places do I need to avoid 8. Am I a “natural man” or

9. What thoughts, images, dreams? a “Spiritual Child of God”?

9. What are my values?

Counselor or Mentor Note: Individuals will move through the counseling sessions with different speed and motivation. For some it may take weeks to move from one step to another. With this in mind the counselor may need to prepare to go slower using supportive materials for the step on which the individual is working. It may be helpful to draw on articles written by Church leaders and others to support the points of the step on which the individual is working.

24 One-On-One Addiction Counseling – Europe Area Encourage the individual to have at least a monthly one-on-one visit with his/her bishop.

This counseling session is a review and catch-up session. Spend time discussing how you E-mailing is going. Discuss your “values” with your counselor. Go over your “problem identification worksheet”, then share what you have completed on Step # 1. Take time and gain the most from these assignments.

Review information you have shared with your counselor/mentor from your daily E-mails. If you have not been doing this, discuss what has been preventing you from doing so. Some time we have “emotional blocks” that get in our way. By discussing them with someone, it can help us work through these. Again, a daily assessment is very important. One should do all in his power to do a daily E-mail. If you miss a day, then pick it up the next day and get back on track.

Share with your counselor how you are coming with your sobriety and personal recovery. Are you continuing to work on a spiritual balance in your life. Discuss this with your counselor.

Review your Value Clarification assignment. Did you complete it? Share what those values are. Did you have your spouse also do the assignment? What significance does this assignment have for you? What do you need to do to program your life to bring about these values? How have you started to do this?

Discuss your Problem Identification worksheet with your counselor/mentor. This is an assignment that often takes some time to identify all the previous and present triggers and temptations. Share with your counselor what you have identified so far. What triggers or temptations seem to be the worst? Which seem to be the most subtle yet very influential?

After you have shared your triggers, discuss what you are “doing” to occupy you time and behavior so that your triggers are not a problem. Again, if you are so busy working on your new thoughts, actions, activities, then the triggers will begin to lose their power and influence. Discuss these with your counselors to see if there are additional things that you could add to your list.

One-On-One Addiction Counseling – Europe Area 25 Review your First Step assignment and other assignments you have been given. What are you learning about you and your recovery. Make sure you have thoroughly completed each of the previous assignments before moving forward.

. 4. Counseling Session

First review information learned from the daily e-mails. Make sure you are following through with these. In other recovery programs, individuals are requested and required to obtain and maintain contact with a “sponsor”. Your daily Email is your “sponsor”. A sponsor is a vital part of the recovery program.

Share how prayer, scripture study and other suggested reading material has helped with your recovery program.

During this session, review with your counselor/mentor aspects of the following;

1. ARP Step # 1 2. Values Clarifications- what have you done? How has it changed your life? 3. Triggers and temptations- what have you identified? Any new triggers? 4. Things you are “doing” that have been helpful.

Do not rush your program. Make sure you take time to discuss thoroughly each one of the three aspects above. To share and discuss in detail each one of these is very important. Do not skip over discussing these. If you need to schedule another appointment to be able to discuss completely aspects of this assignment, then do so.

If you are married, discuss with your counselor/mentor how she/he is coping with the recovery program. Are there things that she could help you with? Would it be helpful for your spouse to meet with the counselor/mentor. The purpose is to evaluate the role of the spouse as a member of the team and make sure he/she will help with accountability as well as love and support. It would be well to discuss co-dependency and how it can be destructive and counter productive in a relationship.

Once you have reviewed and are satisfied with completing the previous assignments, you are ready to move on to the ARP Step # 2. Remember, we are not in a hurry to move through the assignments. It is more important to learn the most from each assignment as you go, never-the-less do not procrastinate or put off your consistent and persistent work. (Please turn to the ARP Manual to pages #7-12 and read and complete the assignments relating to ARP Step # 2)

26 One-On-One Addiction Counseling – Europe Area 5. Counseling Session

Review information learned from the daily E-mails. Make sure you are maintaining your daily contact with your counselor or mentor.

Continue to share how you are coming with your recovery and things you are doing to create a spiritual balance in your life. Share how your prayers, scripture study and other reading materials have been helpful for you.

Have you had an interview with your priesthood leaders, and/or Bishop recently?

Review the ARP Step # 2 and your written assignment. Share what questions you might have and what you have learned specifically from your study and workbook assignment.

Has your spouse been involved? Has he/she met with the counselor or mentor? Has he/she had contact with your priesthood leader? Are they supportive of your recovery program? Is there anything further that could be done to assist them?

Are you increasing you contact and involvement with good healthy friends? Are you doing all in your power to be involved with family, church, community support groups and counselors to strengthen your recovery program.

If you have completed ARP Step # 2 satisfactorily, you are now ready to move on to ARP Step # 3 entitled TRUST IN GOD. Again, don’t rush the assignments.

Please turn to pages 13-20 in the ARP manual and complete the reading and written assignments.

One-On-One Addiction Counseling – Europe Area 27 6. Counseling Session

Review once again your Email responses.

Continue to review your progress with your recovery and things you are doing as part of your program. If there have been problems or difficulties, discuss them with your mentor or counselor. Do you need to review your triggers and temptations list again. Are you planning, studying, doing things that will keep your mind off your addiction. What do you need to you do to increase your “to do list”?

Review the third step with your counselor. Go over the questions that were asked and the answers you provided. You will find that as you discuss these questions and your answers, you will receive additional insights and understanding.

Work Through Relapses

If a relapse has occurred, you need to recommit to your plan to overcome your addictive behavior. One of the General Authorities has said, the Lord is not interested in swiftness, but he is interested in persistent. If a relapse has occurred, go back over your recovery plan. What do you need to do to learn from the situation? What were the triggers? What were the temptations? Are you writing your feelings to your mentor? Are you doing your reading? Are you avoiding those individuals or situations that start the thinking process? Again, learn from the experience and move forward with the program.

If you have processed all steps up to this point, now you are ready for ARP Step # 4. Step # 4 is a very critical step. It requires some serious soul searching. It will be beneficial for you to read all the instructions for Step # 4 and Step # 5 before you start your written work. Once you have done this then decide with you Counselor/Mentor how you will approach this assignment.

Turn to pages 21 thru 28 in the Addiction Recovery Program manual. Read this whole section first.

Now that you have read the whole section, let me have you re-read a few of the paragraphs from the manual. Let us read the first paragraph.

When you worked through Step # 3, you decided to trust the Lord. You turned your will and your life over to His care. In Step # 4, you show your willingness to trust God. You make a searching and fearless written inventory of your life, surveying or summarizing the thoughts, events, emotions, and actions of your life, making your inventory as complete as possible.

28 One-On-One Addiction Counseling – Europe Area As part of our addictive behavior, we have allowed ourselves to develop some character flaws or character weaknesses. Often we tend to cover these flaws or ignore them, but down deep we really know that we are not being the person we should be or we are not doing the things that would cause us to feel as a genuine wholesome person; a person of integrity. These character defects are like termites in a home, to look at the outside of the house, it looks all white and shiny, but underneath and within the structure of the building, the termites are eating away at the base causing major structure damage. If the termites are not addressed, the house will collapse and fall to the ground. The same is true with individuals. In order to recover from an addiction, one needs to identify those character flaws or defects and address them. This is what a “searching and fearless moral inventory” is all about.

The inventory is a step in helping us align our lives with the will of God. Through this inventory, we identified negative thoughts, emotions, and actions that ruled our lives. By discovering those destructive elements in our lives, we can take the first step toward correcting them. Doing an inventory is difficult, but this step opens the door to the additional faith and hope we need to continue our recovery and overcome our addictions.

Read the paragraph entitled, “How to do an inventory”

Once we are ready to start on Step # 4, we may ask the question,” how do I do an inventory?” What tools will I need?” An inventory is a very personal process, and there is no single right way to do it. You can consult with others who have already done an inventory and seek the Lord’s guidance in doing your own. He will help you be truthful and loving as you sort through your memories and feelings. We will share seven different methods others have utilized to complete this step. You might even want to combine two or three of the exercises in doing your inventory. You and your counselor/mentor will need to discuss and decide which exercises or assignments best works for you. Again, We would suggest that you utilize two or three of the exercises or suggestion that have been listed. These are the seven:

Method # 1. One way to do an inventory is to list memories of people and events, situations, or circumstances that trigger positive and negative feelings. Many of these experiences will trigger feelings such as sadness, regret, anger, resentment, fear, or bitterness. Some items on the list may appear multiple times. That is okay. Do not try to sort out or judge or analyze at this point. For now, the most important thing is to be as thorough as possible. As you do your inventory, look at your past behaviors and examine the thoughts, feelings, and beliefs that led to your behavior. Your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs are actually the roots of your addictive behaviors. Unless you examine all your tendencies toward fear, pride, resentment, anger, self-will, and self-pity, as well as other character defects, your abstinence will be shaky at best. You will continue with your original addiction or switch to another one. Your addiction is a symptom of other “causes and conditions” (Alcoholics Anonymous [2001], 64).

Method # 2. Some people have grouped their life’s experiences according to age, grades in school, places lived, or relationships. You will probably not remember everything all at once, but again, try to identify negative behaviors, experiences, thoughts, relationships, that lead to poor decisions and mistakes. What were decision you made that you wish you could change or do differently. What were choices you made that took you in a different direction in your life than what the Savior might have wanted you to go. Continue to be prayerful and allow the Lord to bring things to your remembrance. Leave this process open-ended, and add to your inventory as your memories come. Once you have finished your list, seek the Lord’s guidance in learning from each memory.

Method # 3. Some people organize this part of their inventory into a table or chart with columns under each of the five headings listed below. Some restrict their entries to brief statements. Others create a page for each entry on their list, and then write answers in each of the five categories.

a. Incident. What happened? In just a few words, give a short description of your memory of the event.

b. Effect. What was the effect on you and others?

c. Feelings. What were your feelings at the time of the incident? What are your feelings now about it? Consider how your fears may have contributed to the problems or incident.

d. Self-examination. How did your character weaknesses affect the situation? Do you see any evidence of pride, self-pity, self-deception, or self-will in your attitudes and actions?

One-On-One Addiction Counseling – Europe Area 29 The Holy Ghost can help you humble yourself and face the truth, even if the truth is painful. With the help of the Lord, you can recognize your weaknesses (see Ether 12:27). Questions like these may help: • What outcome did I want in this situation and why? • How did I try to control the situation? • Was it any of my business? • What actions did I take or omit to get what I wanted? • Did I ignore reality? • Were my expectations reasonable for myself and for others? • Did I lie to myself or to others? • Did I ignore the feelings of others and think only of myself? • How did I act like a victim to control others, get attention and sympathy, be special, and so on? • Did I resist help from God and others? • Did I insist on being right? • Did I feel slighted for lack of recognition or acknowledgment?

e. Inspired counsel. What counsel does the Lord give concerning this incident? Remember you have nothing to fear as you submit to the Savior. You are here to learn good from evil, and the Savior can help you forgive yourself and others. Record your thoughts and impressions as you consider inspired counsel from the scriptures and from Church leaders.

Method # 4. There will be three parts to this exercise.

a. Below is a list of “Character Defects”, go through and put a check mark on those characteristic that apply to you. b. Once you have identified your Character Defects, go back and list them in “rank order”. List your twelve most prevalent Character Defects. By prioritizing your character flaws, you will find that 20 % of your flaws cause 80 % of the trouble in your life. c. Now, take each defect you have identified and write down examples and situations of how you did that defect or flaw. How often did you do this behavior? When did you do it? Who did it Involve? Why did you do it? What were you trying to do or accomplish? How did it affect you? How did it negatively affect or hurt other individuals? How is this contrary to what the Savior taught? Be specific and explain in detail.

CHARACTER DEFECTS OR WEAKNESS

Check List Ranking List 1. Anger, hatred, hostile, bitter ______2. Anxiety, high strung, stressful ______3. Arrogance egotistical, self serving, self centered ______4. Close minded, stubborn ______5. Dependent, co dependent ______

30 One-On-One Addiction Counseling – Europe Area 6. Depressed, pessimistic, gloomy ______7. Dishonest, lying, deceitful ______8. Controlling, demanding, over powering, bossy ______9. Fearful ______10. Greedy, stingy ______11. Gossiping ______12. Impatient, impulsive, hasty, intolerant ______13. Judgmental, critical, fault finding ______14. Jealous, envy ______15. Laziness, procrastinating, slothful ______16. Perfectionistic ______17. Prejudice ______18. Rationalizing, minimizing, justifying ______19. Resentful, cynical, sarcastic ______20. Rigid, hard hearted, headstrong ______21. Foolish ______22. Coarse, crude ______23. Cruel, physically, psychologically spiritually abusive ______24. Argumentative, quarrelsome ______25. Manipulative, coning ______26. Flirtatious, sexualizing, womanizing ______27. Obnoxious ______28. Illogical, irrational ______29. Violent, belligerent ______30. Moody, emotional ______31. Rebellious ______32. Rude ______33. Whiny, sulky ______34. Immoral ______35. Emotionally Fatiguing ______

Method # 5. Some of our main character weaknesses have been because of resentments we have maintained. In this exercise, you will be asked to identify some of those resentments and who were they with. Check those character weaknesses you have and then briefly write when you displayed them. Who were some of the people that were involved? How did it make you feel? How is this contrary to the Savior’s instructions to us. How did this impact your own self worth?

Selfish Resentments Dishonest Resentments 1. Not seeing other point of view, problems or views 1. Not seeing or admitting where I was at fault 2. Wanting things my way 2. Having a superior attitude-thinking I am better 3. Wanting special treatment 3. Blaming others for my problems 4. Wanting others to meet my needs 4. Not admitting I’ve done the same thing

One-On-One Addiction Counseling – Europe Area 31 5. Wanting what others have 5. Not expressing feelings or ideas to others 6. Wanting to control – dominate 6. Not being clear about my motives 7. Thinking I’m better - grandiosity 7. Lying, cheating, stealing 8. Wanting to be the best at everything 8. Kiding reality – not facing the facts 9. Thinking others were jealous 9. Stubbornly holding on to inaccurate beliefs 10. Wanting others to be just like me 10. Breaking rules and wanting to get away with it 11. Being miserly, possessive, stingy 11. Lying to myself and others 12. Wanting more than my share, selfish 12.Exaggerating, minimizing 13. Reacting from self righteousness, 13. Setting myself up to be “wronged” 14. Not being friendly 14. Expecting others to be like I wanted them to be 15. Wanting to look good or be liked 15. Being perfectionistic

Self Seeking Frightened of 1. Manipulating others to do my will 1. Peoples’ opinions 2. Putting others down to build me up 2. Rejection, abandonment 3. Engaging in character assassination 3. Loneliness 4. Acting superior to others 4. Physical injury, abuse 5. Acting to fill a void or boredom 5. Not being able to control or change someone 6. Engaging in gluttony or extravagance 6. My own inferiority and inadequacies 7. Lusting at the expense of another person 7. Criticizing, or being sarcastic 8. Ignoring other people needs and concerns 8. Getting trapped or caught at my own games 9. Wanting what I want when I want it 9.Exposure or embarrassment

Method # 6. Many of our character defects relate to fears we acquire in life. Below is a list of some of those fears. Go through the list and identify those fears that you have and then write how these fears have drastically impacted your life.

1. Abandonment 25. Flying 49. Needing anyone 2. Aging 26. Fourth & fifth step 50. Not being good enough 3. Anger 27. The future 51. Not being happy enough 4. Authority figures 28. Getting fat or thin 52. Not being liked 5. Being alone 29. God 53. Not being perfect 6. Being deceived 30. Going home 54. People ( specific who) 7. Being found out 31. Going out on a “whim” 55. The Police

32 One-On-One Addiction Counseling – Europe Area 8. Being myself 32. Having children 56. Being poor or poverty 9. Change 33. Homelessness 57. Procrastination 10. Compliments 34. Homosexuality 58. Being raped 11. Confrontation 35. Honesty 59. Being rejected 12. Creditors 36. Being humiliated 60. Relationships 13. Death 37. Hurting others 61. My own resentments 14. My denial 38. I’m a fraud, others will know 62. Responsibility 15. Disapproval 39. Incarceration 63. Risks 16. Disease (be specific) 40. Intimacy 64. Saying than I can’t 17. Divorce 41. The IRS 65. Sex 18. Embarrassment 42. Letting go of things 66. My sponsor, Priesthood leader 19. Employment 43. Living 67. Success 20. Facing myself 44. Loneliness 68. Unemployment 21. Failure 45. Losing hope 69. The unknown 22. Fear of the unknown 46. Love 70. Violence 23. My own feelings 47. Mediocrity 71. Work 24. Financial insecurities 48. Money 72. Others (list others)

Method # 7. Some of our character weaknesses have come about because of our sexual conduct. This exercise ask you to identify how your sexual conduct has impacted you and others. Go through and identify those items that apply to you. Identify those people you have hurt or offended. How have you been selfish, dishonest, or inconsiderate of others? Did you unjustly arouse jealousy, suspicions or bitterness because of your behavior? How were you at fault? What should you have done instead? Briefly write about each. Again, how did this impact your self-worth and confidence? How was this contrary to the Savior’s teachings?

1. Used others to meet my needs for sex, attention, approval, mothering or fathering. 2. Not seeing him/her needs or problems 3. Wanting to look good or be liked 4. Taking out my emotions on him/her (anger, sadness, etc.) 5. Wanting to control him/her 6. Wanting special treatment or consideration 7. Wanting him/her to take care of me 8. Wanting more than my share 9. Not trying to be a friend 10. Lead someone on-saying I care for him/her more than I did because I wanted sex 11. Not admitting my sexual orientation 12. Thinking I’m better (grandiosity) 13. Being perfectionistic 14. Not being clear about my motives, (wanting fathering, mothering, approval, or sex) 15. Wanting to vent my emotions on someone 16. Wanting to control him/her 17. Cheating on him/her 18. Being inconsiderate of him/her 19. Putting others or myself at risk of disease, legal involvement, or embarrassment 20. Being jealous of him/her, family, friends, coworkers, colleagues 21. Being flirtatious with others when I should not have. 22. Sexualizing or womanizing 23. Being suspicious or mistrusting him/her when I had no reason 24. Was bitter, angry and hateful toward him/her 25. Use another person for my own needs and desires 26. Was not candid or hones with him/her. 27. Did not treat him/her appropriately

Once you have selected the method or methods you are going to use, then turn to page #22 of the Addiction Recovery Manual and starting with entitled “Four necessary elements” continue reading the information and follow the remainder direction of this section.

One-On-One Addiction Counseling – Europe Area 33

Reviewing information from your daily E-mails. Discuss these with your counselor and mentor.

Reviewing your program daily.

34 One-On-One Addiction Counseling – Europe Area Review your recovery program. Are there things that need to be discussed with your counselor/mentor? Continue to share information on your studies, prayers, and spiritual growth. Remember that it is not “your will-power” but the power of the Spirit that will be the key in your recovery.

Completing Step # 4

Completing Step # 4 may take a few weeks to complete. Maintain your contact with your counselor or mentor on a weekly bases. Discuss how you fourth step is coming. Make sure you are specific. The more specific it is the more therapeutic it will be for you. Remember, we are more concerned with persistence than we are with swiftness.

When you have completed what you and your counselor consider to be a thorough fourth step, you will then be ready for Step # 5. Move on to the following.

Please turn to pages 29-34 of the ARP manual. Read and complete the written assignments associated with ARP Step # 5.

Review information from your daily E-mails. If you have not been E-mailing, discuss with your counselor why this has not been happening.

Discussion of your program

Discuss your recovery program up to this point. What is significant about what you have been writing and doing? Are you continuing your relationships with those individuals who are supporting you? Are you maintaining contact with your Bishop or Branch President? Are you continuing with your daily inventory and doing what you need to do to avoid repeating some of those “stinky behaviors”?

Sharing your work

Share your written work and what happened in relation to your 5th Step. Discuss how that went. What feelings or reactions do you have from that experience.

One-On-One Addiction Counseling – Europe Area 35 Once you have satisfactorily complete the previous steps, move on to the 6th Step.

Please turn to pages 35-40 of the ARP manual. Again, read and complete the written assignments.

Once again, review your daily E-mails. Are there items that need to be discussed?

If things seem to be going well, you can begin to reduce the daily E-mails to three times per week. Decide on the days that you will report. Both Saturday and Monday should for sure be one of those days.

Share your written work you have completed on Step # 6 with your counselor. Discuss your spiritual progress and program. Are you continuing with your prayers and daily reading? What might you do or have you done to increase your spirituality?

Note: You need to be aware that individuals will move through these steps at a different pace. For some it may take weeks to move from one step to another. With this in mind, it is more important that you complete each step thoroughly. Again, it is important to have a weekly visit with the counselor or mentor and to have ongoing contact with your priesthood leader.

If you are ready, move on to Step # 7.

36 One-On-One Addiction Counseling – Europe Area Please turn to pages 41-46 of the ARP manual and complete the assignments.

Review your daily E-mails with the counselor or mentor.

Share information regarding your recovery and things that you have been doing to create a spiritual balance in your life. Share how things are going with your family and spouse. Are you devoting more time and energy with them. How are they responding to your new life style. Discuss what you might do to strengthen these relationships. Be aware that the church has specific programs entitled, “Strengthening the Marriage” and “Improving the Family” you might want to asked your Bishop or Branch President about them specifically if you feel that either one of these programs would be beneficial for you and your recovery.

Review your 7th Step with your counselor/mentor. Share the answers you have written and have him/her comment on your work.

Review any other roadblocks that might be coming up.

Once you have discussed these issues, you will be ready to move on. Begin working on Step # 8.

Please turn to pages 47-52 of the ARP manual and complete the written assignments.

Once again, review the information you have written in your E-mails. Make sure you are continuing to keep in touch with you counselor/mentor throughout the week.

Share any insights and understanding you have obtained about your recovery. `

Have you been reading the scripture or any of the church magazines? Are there articles that you have found helpful that you would like to share. If you live where there is a church Patriarch, have you quested your Bishop or Branch President if you could receive your Patriarcal Blessing. At any time have you felt that a Priesthood Blessing would be helpful for you and or other members of your family.

Take time to review your eighth Step. Share the written work that you have do. Discuss any issues that have come up while working on your eight Step. Keep in mind that it is better to work and complete each assignment thoroughly than rush on to the next step. Keep in mind two statements we have discussed previously, The Lord is not concerned about swiftness, but he is concerned with persistent, and the Lord is not expecting you to run any faster than you are capable to do so, however, he likewise is not wanting you to procrastinate or be lazy.

Sometimes along the way, you may realized that you haven’t total been honest or you haven’t complete thoroughly one of the previous step. Often this happens with Step # 4, if that is the case, take the time and go back and work on that Step again and complete it to your satisfaction. Keep in mind this is an honest program and the honesty is between you and your Savior.

If you have completed Step # 8 then move on to ARP Step # 9.

Please turn to pages 53-58 of the ARP manual and complete the reading and written assignments

Review information learned from the daily e-mails.

Discuss questions regarding your sobriety and things that you have done to create a spiritual balance in your life. Discuss how studying the scripture, daily pray, and other suggested reading material has helped you with your recovery program.

Talk with your counselors about your 9th Step. Share your written work with him. Review any problems or difficulties you are having, Are you still reviewing your trigger and temptation list? Have added additional items to your “to do” list? Are you involved with your family? Have you and your spouse establish a “date night” so as to keep your marriage relationship alive and well? Are you involved with some type of Christian serve to your fellow men?

When you are ready, move on to Step # 10

Please turn to pages 59-64 of the ARP manual and complete the reading and written assignments. .

Once again, review the information you have sent by E-mail. Review all aspects of your recovery program. Do you need to address some issues? Are your maintaining your reading and contact with individuals? Are things with your spouse and family progressing?

Discuss Step # 10. Share your written work with your counselor. Discuss those aspects of your assignment that seem most important to you. What are the positive things that are happening to you in your life at the present time?

When you have completed Step #10 satisfactorily, then begin focusing on Step #11.

Please turn to pages 65-70 of the ARP manual and complete the reading and writing assignments.

Review those similar aspects of your recovery program. Discuss your week and how it has gone. Share your daily schedule and what you are doing to improve your spirituality. Discuss issues that might relate to your family and spouse. Are you attending the Lord’s house and participating in the meetings there? Is that a spiritual experience or a social experience? What can you do to make that more of a spiritual experience?

Discuss Step # 11. Share what you have done. What have you learned from Step eleven?

Once you feel you have satisfactorily complete Step eleven, move on to Step twelve.

Please turn to pages 71-75 of the ARP manual and complete the reading and written assignment.

STEP 12

One-On-One Addiction Counseling – Europe Area 41 Appendix

The One-On-One addiction counseling model should only be used until there are enough individuals identified to move into a group situation where a professional and facilitators are called to lead the groups as identified in the LDS Family Services Administrative Handbook for Addiction Recovery Groups.

Provided in this appendix is additional material relating to this manual as well as material on the Stake Addiction Recovery Program (SARP).

Because of the severity of the problem of pornography, several helps on this subject have been included here.

42 One-On-One Addiction Counseling – Europe Area STAGES OF CHANGE SCALE SCORING INSTRUCTIONS

This questionnaire can give you information about how willing the individual Is for counseling and change. You will note on the side of the questionnaire there is a “P”, “C”, “A”, and a “M’. These initials represents “P” for pre-contemplative, “C” for contemplative, “A” for action, and “M” for maintenance.

Pre-contemplative individuals have not typically convinced themselves that they have a problem. In many cases, someone else have indicated that they have a problem, but they are not ready to admit or concede that this is the case, there-for, they may not be serious about changing their behavior.

Contemplative individuals are not happy with their life and their behavior. They are contemplative and thinking they ought to make some changes but haven’t really decided exactly what it is that they need to do or whether now is the time to make that change. They wish they could continue on with their behavior without the negative effects or consequences they are experiencing.

Action individuals are ready to make changes. They don’t like their life and the experiences they are having and would like help in making some changes. They are in a good frame of mind to receive help and assistance.

Maintenance individuals have begun to make some changes and would like additional help. They would like assistance in being able to sustain their changed behavior and do whatever is necessary to make additional improvements and change.

Each of the P,C,A, and M scores add up to 40. Add up each category and whichever score is the highest would indicate where the individual is in relation to wanting assistance and wanting to change their behaviors.

One-On-One Addiction Counseling – Europe Area 43 E-mail Letter to Individuals Requesting Individual Counseling

Dear, ______

What an opportunity it will be to work with you in this most important program. Expect that we will become very good friends through this experience. Please give me any contact information such as E-mail address – cell phone number etc. I would like to hear from you daily until we change that arrangement. This will take place by you keeping your weekly report – E-mailing me daily with a response to the suggested following subject matters:

 Daily Prayer  Scripture Study  Things you have done to keep busy  Disruptive thought process  How’s your day been in general?  How much time did you give your spouse/family?  How are you feeling?

INFORMATION RELATING TO PORNOGRACHY

44 One-On-One Addiction Counseling – Europe Area Pornography can be a powerful addiction. Some have said that it is as powerful as some of the illicit drugs because of the drugs it triggers in the brain. Bishops and Branch Presidents should be very aware of the impact pornography has on their members, both old and young, male and female. We strongly recommend that the Addiction Recovery Program materials be utilized to assist individuals with pornographic addiction. We recommend that they be counselor separately and apart from the other addictions. Specifically, do not include young adults with the adult population. Never-the-less, the Addiction Recovery Program materials and the One on One materials can be used very effectively to assist individuals struggling with this powerful and devastating addiction.

Pornography is any material depicting or describing the human body or sexual conduct in a way that arouses sexual feelings. It is distributed through many media, including magazines, books, television, movies, music, and the Internet. It is as harmful to the spirit as tobacco, alcohol, and drugs are to the body. Using pornographic material in any way is a violation of a commandment of God: “Thou shalt not ... commit adultery ... nor do anything like unto it” (D&C 59:6). It can lead to other serious sins. Members of the Church should avoid pornography in any form and should oppose its production, distribution, and use.

Pornography is a devastating addictive. Like other addictions, it leads people to experiment and to seek more powerful stimulations. Those who experiment with it will find that it will subtle take over and destroy their minds, hearts, and spirits. It will rob them of self-respect and of their sense of the beauties of life. It will tear them down and lead them to evil thoughts and possibly evil actions. It will cause terrible damage to their relationships, their marriage and family relationships. Because of the addictive nature of pornography and the harm it can cause to body and spirit, servants of God have repeatedly warned us to shun it. Those who are caught in the trap of pornography should stop immediately and seek help. Through repentance, those who have been addicted can receive forgiveness and find hope in the gospel. Bishops and branch presidents can provide counsel on how to overcome this problem. The Atonement of Jesus Christ can provide the needed healing as people prayerfully seek the Lord’s help.

One-On-One Addiction Counseling – Europe Area 45 Develop a Personal Recovery Plan

Overcoming a pornography habit requires a comprehensive personalized plan for change. A clear and specific plan gives the individual direction and builds confidence. The key to following the plan is the key to stop using pornography.

1. Objective – Stop All Unclean Immoral Behavior

 Eliminate All Forms of Pornography written material, magazines, videos/DVDs, telephone dial porn access, computer games, music, cable or satellite

 Eliminate Personal Access to the Internet Obtain internet filters and password system

 Stop Inappropriate Sexual Behavior Masturbation – any other place (movies) that promotes pornography and inappropriate sexual behavior. Renounce written materials, TV shows that encourage immoral behavior and lead to bad thoughts

 Practice Eye Control Eye control is necessary to control thoughts, feelings and actions. Visual concentration upon a sexual image immediately begins to release several of the body’s powerful stimulating hormones, which create desire for more sexual feelings

 Practice Thought Control Thought control is crucial in order to gain control over feelings and actions Develop cleaner thoughts – “It’s not only media that can help filth enter the mind, therefore: Find something positive to put in your head so bad thoughts cannot enter and eventually not ever entice, also use clean language”

 Practice Controlling Negative Feelings When users are frequently in a negative state of mind such as: isolation, self-doubt, low self-esteem or discouragement they are more vulnerable to sexual temptations

 Replace unclean behavior with appropriate behavior Learn self-mastery but let eventually the Lord be my master – learn to forgive myself, look ahead and not back – focus on my desire to have an eternal family someday

46 One-On-One Addiction Counseling – Europe Area 2. Objective – Stay in Weekly Counseling Sessions  Complete Weekly Report  Complete and review Consequence Worksheet  Complete and review Triggers and Temptations Worksheet

3. Objective – Have regular visits with Bishop and Stake President  Share with Church leaders how you are doing  What challenges you are encountering  What you are doing to maintain a spiritual balance in you live  How has turning your life over to Jesus Christ helped you with you problems.

Determine the Level of Pornographic Involvement

It is important for Counselors and Church leaders to ask questions that will help provide an understanding of the individual’s pornography problem. Here are some suggestions:

 How many years have you had the problem?  How often do you turn to pornography? Daily ( ) Weekly ( ) Monthly ( )  What types of pornography do you access? Internet ( ) Movies ( ) TV ( ) Printed Material ( ) Other ( )  Do you isolate yourself from the rest of the family when you’re involved with pornography?  What consequences has pornography use caused?  How much time do you spend on the Internet?  Do you see yourself lying/covering up your involvement with pornography?  Do you hide pornography to include printed or electronic images?  Has your use of pornography become more sexually graphic and deviant?  Are you involved with masturbation or other inappropriate sexual behavior?  Would you say your conscience is dulled or disturbed?  Do you make excuses for your pornography use?  What is your ability, control or inability to resist pornography?  When you select pornography is it related to the opposite sex, same sex or under-age children?  Would you describe the type of pornography you prefer as being crude or kinky?

One-On-One Addiction Counseling – Europe Area 47 Article: Finding Recovery from Porn Addiction

Finding recovery from porn addiction Many attending recovery groups returning to inner peace of ‘sobriety’ John L. Hart – 31 March 2007 LDS Church News associate editor © 2008 Deseret News Publishing Company

Editor’s note: This is fifth in a seven-part anti-pornography series reported by the LDS Church News staff. • Part 1: March 3, 2007 — In your family? • Part 2: March 10, 2007 — Protecting homes from pornography • Part 3: March 17, 2007 — Young and trapped • Part 4: March 24, 2007 — Dual relationship with family, fantasy • Part 5: March 31, 2007 — Finding recovery from porn addiction • Part 6: April 14, 2007 — Fight to stop porn • Part 7: April 21, 2007 — Defending the home against pornography • Special report: Nov. 29, 2003 — The silent sin: enslavement of pornography

One afternoon, two teenage ‘will spend their lives recovering’ as they children walked into the room and saw walk through a world overfilled with their father at the computer, and a screen ‘triggers,’ such as the Internet at their that shouldn’t have been there. fingertips that, as one addict said, will ‘pull They immediately told their mother, them down like a tractor beam into who was so devastated she didn’t speak oblivion.’ of it for two days. Then she demanded that he move out. This anonymous but true account is Choosing wisely is a day-to-day challenge for those involved in recovery from addiction to but one example of pornography abuse — pornography. After overcoming occasional which, whether compulsive or addictive — setbacks, many go on to years of sobriety and has dramatically increased with easy helping others succeed in the same process. access by the Internet, once called the “information superhighway”. But the pornography lane of the One expert said that trying to superhighway did not bring with it any control addiction by willpower is like trying easy exits and is clogged with its victims to stop a bad case of nausea by willpower. — men, women and children. ‘It is a vulnerability, not just a ‘Sexuality expressed in an behavior or some little habit,’ said Elder appropriate context of a healthy marital John C. Jones, a program coordinator for relationship is a wonderful thing,’ said J. the LDS Family Services Addiction Douglas LeCheminant of LDS Family Recovery Program in American Fork. ‘The Services. endorphins or neurotransmitters dumped But outside that appropriate into the brain in such significant quantities context, people in long-term, hard-core when they have a sexual experience, addiction who try to reform their actions whether legitimate or otherwise, are

48 One-On-One Addiction Counseling – Europe Area extremely powerful and that is what they been incarcerated. And some just don’t get addicted to.’ get it, but are still trying. Most try to stop on their own but One recovering addict tried to count when they can’t, are too humiliated to the number of times he’d been through the seek help. gospel-based recovery program. When he couldn’t remember how many times, he said, ‘It really doesn’t matter because I am Road signs symbolize warnings not to view going to go through them again.’.’ pornography on the ‘Information Superhighway’ or Internet. Those who do participate may exit by ‘If the Savior were to come to earth, visiting a bishop, receiving therapy and attending He would come here because people are gospel-based recovery groups. here to be healed.’ . President Boyd K. Packer, said, ‘The biggest obstacle to break “Addiction has the capacity to disconnect through is the shame factor,’ said Elder the human will and nullify moral agency. It Jones. ‘Some would almost rather die can rob one of the power to decide.” than be discovered.’ ’ ‘The earlier it is caught, the better it President Ezra Taft Benson’s words is,’ said one recovering lifetime addict. on pride are often repeated with new ‘They shouldn’t wait until they are married understanding: with children.’ ‘The central feature of pride is Elder Jones says, “Bishops often enmity — enmity toward God and enmity tell him how frequently they confront this toward our fellowmen.... We pit our will problem. Beyond that, how many people against God’s.... Our will in competition are addicted, and who they are is with God’s allows desires, appetites and unknown, but it is a large number. And it passions to go unbridled.” isn’t just a malady for men. More and When addicts get sobriety (as they more women are involved, especially in refer) for a few months or a year, they feel chat room types of illicit exchanges. like ‘I am OK, I can do this on my own.’ Nearly all become involved as youth, often That is a great fallacy they have, never unintentionally.” really understanding that this problem Elder Jones noted pornography stays with them for the rest of their life. If addiction becomes an escalating problem. individuals will learn of and seek out the He suggested that anyone who has Church’s addiction recovery support viewed pornography more than four or five program and begin attending and begin times a month would do well to visit with reading the scriptures and praying with their bishop to determine whether more intensity as well as follow the attendance at a gospel-based recovery gospel-based steps of repentance and support meeting would be helpful.‘ recovery, it will be a powerful experience The meetings are spiritual events which will lead them to recovery and where participants share their personal spirituality. experiences with the atonement of Jesus Nobody can hold pornography at Christ and healing they have felt as they arm’s length. Satan will tell you that you turn their will and life over to Heavenly can do it on your own. You have to make Father and His Son, Jesus Christ. a choice. Either you are going to continue Yet recovery is a tough battle and to lie to yourself and your family, or you comes one agonizing step after another. need to reach out and get help and follow Some attending these groups have battled the Savior and do what He wants you to this addiction for many years. Some have do. The program works but only if you turn lost spouses. Some have betrayed their your life over to the Lord,. children’s trust. Some have lost jobs or

One-On-One Addiction Counseling – Europe Area 49 Church Magazine Articles

L. Whitney Clayton, “Blessed Are All the Pure in Heart”, Ensign, November 2007, pp.51– 53. May God bless our genuine efforts to be pure of heart and mind, that “virtue [may] garnish [our] thoughts unceasingly.”

“Breaking the Chains of Pornography,” Ensign, February 2001, pp.54–59. A husband and wife share how his addiction to pornography shook the foundation of their marriage – and how they turned to the Lord for help.

David E. Sorensen, “You Can’t Pet a Rattlesnake,” Ensign, May 2001, pp.41–42. Pornography, though billed by Satan as entertainment, is a deeply poisonous, deceptive snake that lies coiled up in magazines, the Internet, and the television.

Richard G. Scott, “The Sanctity of Womanhood,” Ensign, May 2000, pp.36–38. Whether it be through the printed page, movies, television, obscene lyrics, the telephone, or on a flickering personal computer screen, pornography is overpoweringly addictive and severely damaging.

Gordon B. Hinckley, “Living Worthy of the Girl You Will Someday Marry,” Ensign, May 1998, pp.49–51. Stay away from pornography as you would avoid a serious disease. It is as destructive.

Gordon B. Hinckley, “True to the Faith,” Ensign, June 1996, p.2–8. The makers and marketers of pornography grow wealthy while the character of their customers decays. Stay away from it. Stand above it.

Being Clean Again,” Ensign, September 1996, pp.20–22. I learned that I could overcome my weakness. When my wife and I left the bishop’s office that evening, I felt as though I was freer than I had ever been in my whole life.

M. Russell Ballard, “When Shall These Things Be?” Ensign, December 1996, pp.56–61. In order to keep the light and love of Christ burning in our hearts, we have to be careful in our choices of what we will watch and what we will read. Pornography is rampant and is absolutely destructive.

Spencer W. Kimball, “A Report and a Challenge,” Ensign, November 1976, pp.4–9. We urge Latter-day Saints to get involved as citizens and fight obscenity.

Robert L. Simpson, “Pollution of the Mind,” Ensign, January 1973, pp.112–13. Evidence is conclusive that mind-polluting pornography is just as addicting and just as devastating as Satan’s other tools of destruction and degradation.

“Q&A: Questions and Answers,” New Era, August 2005, pp.16–18.

50 One-On-One Addiction Counseling – Europe Area Pornography is ruining my life. But every time I try to quit looking at it, I fall again. What can I do?

Dallin H. Oaks, “Pornography,” Ensign, May 2005, pp.87–90. Let us all improve our personal behavior and redouble our efforts to protect our loved ones and our environment from the onslaught of pornography.

Gordon B. Hinckley, “A Tragic Evil among Us,” Ensign, November 2004, pp.59–62. [Pornography] is like a raging storm, destroying individuals and families, utterly ruining what was once wholesome and beautiful.

James E. Faust, “The Enemy Within,” New Era, March 2003, pp.4–8. Pornography is as addictive as cocaine or any illegal drug.

“Addicted to Romance Novels?” Ensign, July 2003, pp.57–59. I knew it was wrong to view pornographic images, but surely the racy books I was reading were harmless.

Gordon B. Hinckley, “Overpowering the Goliaths in Our Lives,” Ensign, Jan. 2002, pp.2–6. Avoid pornography as you would a plague.

“Danger Ahead! Avoiding Pornography’s Trap,” Liahona, October 2002, pp.12–17; or New Era, October 2002, pp.34–39. Why is pornography considered such a big deal? We let three young men tell their stories of entrapment, struggle, and despair. And of how they were finally rescued.

Thomas S. Monson, “Pornography, the Deadly Carrier,” Ensign, July 2001, pp.2–5. We have the capacity and the responsibility to stand as a bulwark between all we hold dear and the fatal contamination of pornography.

Additional Online Materials

Let Virtue Garnish Thy Thoughts, 2006. This booklet provides counsel on how to avoid, resist, and overcome pornography. The booklet is available as text only or in its complete layout (PDF). You can also order copies online.

Addiction Recovery Program, LDS Family Services.

Pornography and Internet Safety, Provident Living Web Site. Parents can do many things to safeguard their homes from the harmful influences found on the Internet. This page includes some helpful safety tips.

“Internet Safety” Learn how to keep your family safe on the Internet.

“Seven-Part Anti-Pornography Series,” LDS Church News, March-April, 2007. This series addresses such topics as protecting homes from pornography, addiction recovery, and ways to fight pornography. (Note: This series is not an official Church publication.)

One-On-One Addiction Counseling – Europe Area 51 “Avoiding Degrading Media Influences,” Aaronic Priesthood Manual 2, Lesson 46.

“Avoiding Degrading Media Influences,” Young Women Manual 1, Lesson 33

ENGLISH

52 One-On-One Addiction Counseling – Europe Area