Building Partnerships

Building Partnerships Tips and Strategies for Parents of Students with Identified Learning Disabilities

Prepared by Briony Glassco and Wilma Verhagen

Be Charming

Be Persistent

Knowledge is Power

Be Prepared And Keep your Sense of Humour

1 The Parent-Teacher Relationship

(Including tips for how to be a master at the parent teacher-interview) Three key components to maintain a good partnership with your teacher: · Be Charming (kind, thoughtful, compassionate) · Be Persistent (Follow Up, Communicate and don’t ever think this is not your job anymore) · Be Knowledgeable (become an expert on your child and the system)

Be Charming: Build a rapport with your teacher. If your teacher shares personal information, remember it. Be courteous, and ask about it next time. Thank them often and acknowledge how difficult their job is. It helps to assume that your child’s teacher is dealing with something difficult that day. Think of yourselves and refer to yourselves as a team. Remember that when you are talking to a teacher, the conversation doesn’t always have to end with a solution. Let your teacher in on what is happening at home that might have an impact on your child. If you have a teacher who is speaking defensively; back off, check your own feelings and listen with openness and generosity. Slowly enter back into the conversation to try to get more of a picture of what is happening from them. If your child’s teacher is upset; pause for a count of three before you reply. This lets them know that you are listening and prevents you from matching their energy and becoming overly emotional. Remember that parent teacher interviews ARE emotional. Parents can feel many conflicting emotions such as stigma, guilt, alarm, concern, shame, anxiety, frustration, worry ...and joy too. Note that teachers also have mixed emotions. They worry they haven’t done enough, they can feel defensive, concerned, as well as overjoyed at progress. When talking with teachers; try to stay calm and relaxed. Your IQ drops when you are angry and your short-term memory dissolves when you are anxious

2 Be Persistent Meet with each new teacher early in the school year to set up email communication or another means of communication that works for both of you. Ask to have homework expectations emailed to you OR find out if your teacher could or does have a web page that they use to post homework, test and assignment due dates. Find out how notes go home from the teacher and the office (not always the same process). If through the backpack mail system, see about changing it to something more reliable. Ask your school about Robo calls as a parent communication tool. Throughout the year; initiate contact with your teacher regularly -- don’t wait or ask them to get in touch with you if they need to. Check in on the the little as well as the big things, did he seem restless, is she prepared for class, how is he or she doing socially? Make your child’s teacher your partner. Share your research and resources. Ask your teacher to email you their notes after an interview to make sure that you are both on the same page. Ask each teacher -- is there anything I should be aware of? Is there anything else? Anything I could be doing at home to support you and my child? Don’t make unrealistic promises. If you can only check your child’s reading once a week, don’t let the teacher and your child down by agreeing to do it twice a day. Don’t assume the teacher is an expert just because they have special education training; likewise, don’t assume someone can’t teach your child because they don’t have special education qualifications.

Be Knowledgeable: Become an expert in your child’s diagnoses. Don’t ever stop reading books, articles and looking into research. No one is as motivated as you are to get to the bottom of what is the best way for your child to learn successfully. You may have many resources about your child’s diagnoses. Share these with your educators. Highlight or flag important parts. Add a post-it e.g. “This is great for handwriting”. Offer them the book or photocopy a page and highlight a paragraph. Start a notebook for your child. Bring it with you to any meeting. Write in it your questions and consider bringing your partner or a friend with you to any meeting to remember things that you might forget.

Write all over the IEP and encourage teachers to do the same. Remember that it is a working document. Let your teacher know that you want to know of any behavior changes immediately so that you can help at home.

3 Think about ways to work with the teacher and student to help middle- school students strategize, plan and become more independent, encourage them to get to know themselves better. If the teacher is having a hard time feeling compassionate about a particularly difficult child; help to humanize that child for them by telling a tale of remorse or regret that the child shared with you at home. The Ministry of Education website has many resources available to parents. You can use it to find up to date approaches to a problem. “I already know everything” teachers won’t admit to being THAT up to date, if you can refer to a ministry page. Don’t hesitate to ask your teacher how or why they’ve done this or that. They probably have a good reason. If your English is not strong you can get free help with an interpreter for your meetings with teachers. Culture link, part of the settlement program will assign you an interpreter who understands the education system. www.culturelink.ca

Other parents speak: Strategies and tips to building strong partnerships: · Ask for help; it won’t be given automatically. · You are not alone. Connect with other parents in the L.D class. Remind the teacher that this benefits all the families in the class.

· Every school has a school psychologist and social worker available for consultation. Advocating for an LD child can cause all sorts of strains on a family. Request a session with the school psychologist to get some support. They are there for you.

· Let teachers know that learning and behavior strategies don’t work forever. They need to be updated. Keep a strategy notebook at home or school- a small notebook, a book where teacher, parent and student can put down ideas that work.

· Know your rights and learn how to advocate for all the children in you child's school; not only your own.

· Become an expert at identifying other people’s emotions, so you can be in better control of your own. · Drop off your child and retrieve her/him with joy and love - when everyone can see you treasure your child they will be more likely to treat her/him as being worthy of love and respect.

· Make your presence felt positively in the school community (volunteer, read to kindergarten kids, serve/attend school council meetings) ...so that when you need help, the staff will know to treat you and your child as valued members of the community.

4 · Always guard against the gentle discrimination of underestimation! (And use this phrase with your child's teachers - challenge them to think about it, after all - they became teachers because they love children and love to teach)

· Don’t rely on ALL information coming from your student; remember that they don’t want their free time being taken away; so they might not tell you that their teacher has set up a homework club or some tutoring.

· Find your child’s advocate wherever they might be (homeroom teacher, geography teacher, gym teacher, school secretary, nurse or librarian...). It only takes one adult in the building to change your child’s school experience for the better. · Be prepared for things to work differently than you expect. You may be surprised.

Do you have tips of your own you would like to share? Please email them to Briony and Wilma at [email protected]

Managing Transitions: Look ahead and be prepared ...Into Kindergarten, ...into middle school, secondary...and beyond Starting School (transition into Kindergarten)

For future kindergartners: when you register in the spring before your child will start school ask the Principal for a case conference. Be prepared! Get letters from specialists; your family doctor; physiotherapists; nursery school or Sunday school teachers, camp counselors, swim instructors... anyone who can speak with authority or experience about your child's skills, loves, aptitudes, strengths and needs. Get to know the school in advance. As a member of the community; you can attend a school council meeting before you are a parent at the school. Talk to parents of children already attending the school. Ask the principal to connect you to some Kindergarten or primary grade parents at the school who also have kids with special needs. If your child needs bussing; don’t wait to be told how that works -- find out. Connect with parents of kids who are already bussed to that school to get specific tips. Arrange to meet your child’s teacher before the start of school if possible. Start building your relationship when the teacher is prepared, calm and excited to meet you and your child. Avoid bombarding your teacher with tons of information on the first day of school.

5 Toward the transition into Secondary School Start thinking about Secondary schools early. Attend secondary school open houses when your child is in grade 7. Try to get an up-to-date assessment completed before High School. You should have one done every four years. During your grade 6 IPRC review is a good time to make the request, as it can often take a year or more to organize. Two years before graduation; ask teachers at your elementary school which secondary school they think would be a good fit for your child. Remember that new teachers have a fresh view of your child and may have background information on other schools. Be sure to ask the opinion of more than one teacher. At your IPRC review the Special education consultant will know which High Schools have which programs, get her business card so you can carry on the discussion. If you have made a school choice; check with your teachers to see what their thoughts on that school are. In an elementary school, there is generally one teacher that leads the grade 8’s through transition. Find out who that is and contact them. Don’t stop there. Call the office of the High school and request a meeting in August or early September with teachers and GLE people too. Ask about modifications and how they might affect your child being awarded credit for a course. This varies from school to school, and is up to the principal of a school. Ask whether all the modifications are still necessary. Try to keep them to as few as possible. Find a parent already at the school from your current elementary school teacher and try to make a connection. Ask the new secondary school to define exactly what is the protocol to distribute your child’s IEP to their teachers and how they verify that the IEPs have been read? Secondary school Bring copies of your child’s IEPs to parent teacher interviews in High School. Include a one page summary to staple on top. Bullet strengths, areas needing support, modifications and accommodations. Ask the GLE teacher how they communicate with the other teachers your child has. (Don’t assume your GLE teacher will automatically connect with all your child’s teachers). The transition from elementary school to secondary school can be challenging for ALL students. Often children who have been identified and are part of the Special Education community face an even more difficult time adjusting to the transition from elementary to secondary school. Some of the challenges faced during this transition period are: · Differences in how students are evaluated at the secondary level versus the elementary level. This is especially true for students who have opted for academic

6 level courses in secondary school. Evaluation of students in the elementary school environment was based on the grade level of the individual student. At the secondary level; student evaluations are based on how a student performs in comparison to the set curriculum.

· Differences in scope and availability of acceptable modifications and accommodations available at the secondary level in comparison to the elementary level. Be prepared and prepare your child in advance that some of the accommodations and modifications made at the elementary level are not permitted at the secondary level.

· Changes to how accommodations and modifications are applied at the secondary level versus the elementary level. Students who are enrolled in the academic level are not permitted to have programs modified. Students who had modifications at the elementary level may be faced with having those modifications removed from their IEP at the secondary level if they opt for the academic stream.

· Lack of consistency in availability and communication of IEP’s to teaching staff. In the elementary school environment your child’s IEP was shared with a small number of staff in a very close knit school community. At the secondary school level; each of your child’s teachers (up to eight in most cases) will need access to your child’s IEP. The way in which this information is made available to teachers is inconsistent and at times cumbersome. Parents should not assume that distribution of IEP’s will happen automatically and should be prepared to follow-up with each teacher to ensure they have a copy of the IEP, have read it and are applying it appropriately to meet your child’s needs.

· Change in student’s acceptance of a learning disability as they transition from elementary to secondary school. Parents should be prepared for students who may have been open about their learning disability while in elementary school and actively self-advocating to withdraw or regress in secondary school as they do not want to be perceived as being different in the secondary school social environment.

What can you do to help your child adjust during this transition period? • There will be a meeting between the elementary and secondary special education teachers where staff at the secondary level will be properly briefed on the students needs. Find out the name of the person at the secondary school who attended the meeting. .

• Review the placement recommendation made by the elementary school staff with the secondary school staff to ensure the recommended course placement is best suited for your child (before the school year begins). This review will provide an opportunity for staff to fully understand the students’ needs, and for parents and students to understand how the high school environment will differ from elementary school.

• Every secondary school is different in what they have to offer to their students -- especially those with special needs. Parents and students are encouraged to

7 consider all options and have a clear understanding of what the school can and cannot provide. The special education program offered is not consistent across the Board. Parents should be made aware of this and encouraged to look at all school options for their children in order to determine which secondary school best meets their families needs.

• The adjustment to secondary school is at times challenging for any student, but perhaps more so for students in the special education program as they often have difficulty in adapting to new environments and changes in routine. Parents are encouraged to look for the warning signs of a child who is having difficulty adjusting and are encouraged to act quickly when these signs are recognized. Warning signs include, lowered self esteem, social withdrawal, disinterest in attending school, physical illness, decline in academic performance, reluctance to self-advocate, reluctance to use tools, modifications or technology that have been made available to assist them in succeeding.

Additional Tips · At your annual IPRC, ask about a transition plan.

· Consider completing secondary school over 5 years (reduce annual course load).

· Encourage your child to take a Learning Strategies Course (GLE) each year from grade 9 – 12 inclusive (4 credits towards diploma). · Consider the French exemption in Grade 9 (take a GLE course in its place).

· Consider doing more demanding courses during summer school.

· Note that if going on to college or university; your child will need an updated psycho educational assessment within 2 years of going. These are rarely done at the secondary level. You can pay privately or some colleges will cover this once accepted.

· Consider adding the following to your child’s IEP – “no two major assessments in the same day” – if appropriate

· York University holds transition evenings for parents for kids in grades 11 and 12.

If you have questions or more information you would like to share please contact us.

Briony Glassco: [email protected] Wilma Verhagen: [email protected]