All About Alice

ALL ABOUT ALICE

Personality comes from the Greek “Per Sona”, relating to those famous dramatic masks through which you ‘sound’. I like this description of personality as it infers it is the thing with which we present ourself to others, and is not necessarily our “inner self”. A “personality disorder” is a set of character features which make it hard, or even impossible for somebody to function effectively within society.

The Big Picture: A man trying to come to terms with the death of his former partner through suicide, and the responsibility he feels for breaking up with her just before her death.

The subtext: A character exploration of a girl with “Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder: Borderline Type”, without her actually being present in the film. We explore her through the people closest to her, and the effect her death has had on them.

Deeper subtext – My experiences as a Psychiatrist, trying to come to terms with trying to help people who are self destructive, and often not being able to – feeling guilty, hopeless, helpless, and responsible. Trying to make sense of it all.

John The ex partner of Alice (Mid 30’s) .

Liam John’s son from a previous marriage (Late teens/early 20’s).

Susan Alice’s mother (50’s)

Alfie Alice’s father (50’s-60’s)

Extras in dark suits for the wake – Three have small speaking parts, one of which would favour a kindly lady around a generation older than John.

SCENE 1 – Getting Dressed for the wake

A brightly lit, modern, spacious room. John and Liam are getting ready.

I imagine a camera view over Johns shoulder in a full length, broad mirror. Liam, in a vest, is visible in the reflection behind John, moving in and out of shot. He seems stressed; a little agitated. Ideally there would be a door in shot in the reflection, which Liam can move in and out of. John is fixing his tie for the funeral, and despite it looking fine he keeps undoing and redoing it during the scene.

Liam: Dad, have you seen my white shirt?

John: You borrowed this one last time, remember? Isn’t yours at your Mum’s?

Liam: Fu... what am I supposed to do now?

John: Take one from the wardrobe. Liam goes out of shot. John continues to redo his tie.

John: (To Liam out of shot) How is Mum?

Liam: (Shouts) She’s ok, she was asking about you. You should call her.

Liam comes back into shot

Liam: I can’t see any white shirts.

John: I’ve only got this one. Take a blue one.

Liam: Blue? At a funeral?!?!

John: We’re not going to the funeral Liam, just the wake, remember? Anyway, Blue’s fine. (Pauses). Listen, I meant what I said before. You really don’t have to come today. I know you and Alice didn’t get on.

Liam: I’m not going for her Dad. (Pauses) How come we didn’t go to the funeral?

John: (sighs) Alice’s mum...Sue... she... she hasn’t been coping too well with all this. She’s been really angry with me. I didn’t want to provoke anything.

Liam: Angry with you? What about?

John: I dunno. Grief does funny things to people. Maybe she wants someone to blame.

Liam: Blame you?!?! Alice killed herself! How is that anyone else’s fault? Everyone else tried to help her, she never listened to anyone. You tried to help her for years, more than anyone.

John: (a little doubtful) yeah. I know... Sue’s just upset. (After a pause) You ready?

SCENE 2 – In the Car, Driving to the Wake

John and Liam are in the car on the way to the wake. Both are sat in the front. John is driving. Initial focus of attention is on Liam, looking like he is trying to think of the right way to say something.

We will need plenty of reaction shots of the actors faces. Preferably one angle that can show their interaction. Good sound is a must as the dialogue is key.

Liam: ...I never thought she would actually do it...

John: You didn’t?

Liam: Well, it just seemed like she was trying to manipulate you. Remember that Lakes weekend when you had to go early because she’d gone into hospital with an overdose, again.

John: Yeah, of course I remember. Liam: I just thought she was jealous. She didn’t want you to spend time with me.

John: (Slight laugh) Something like that. She’d been guilt-tripping me the whole week leading up to it as well.

Liam: Really?

John: Yeah, you know, how could I leave her alone when she was struggling so much, making out I’d be the one to blame if anything happened to her while I was gone....I know you felt like I was choosing between you. It was hard for me.

Liam: ...Why did you put up with her for so long?

John: I thought I could help her. (looks at Liam, looks outside the car at something and looks thoughtful, then makes a change of direction) It wasn’t all bad you know...

Liam: Isn’t the wake down Argyll Street?

John: Yeah. I just want to show you something first.

SCENE 3 – An Abandoned Building

An abandoned building. Preferably one with strong aesthetics, with a missing wall or roof – so that John and Alice could have sat here at night and watched the stars, or watch the city go by. A roof space might also work.

Again, the plot is moved on by the dialogue. However with the abandoned building it might be nice to use the building as a metaphor for John and Alice’s “odd/broken/beautiful” relationship, in a bit of an artistic, Tarkovsky style. Find nice nooks, crannies, textures, shadows etc in the building which stand on their own as shots. Movement could be provided by tracking the camera or by something moving in the shot – things in the background, dripping water, alterations in post production etc. A few such shots could be collected on the day along with the expected shots of John and Liam, and edited together later. How Liam and John get from the car to the building, and to the spot where Alice and John sat and watched the stars/city would depend on the location, but would start with them pulling in and getting out the car, followed by shots of them heading into, and then moving through, the building.

Liam: Are we allowed to be in here?

John: Probably not but it’s empty. You can blame me if anybody says anything.

Liam: Is it safe?

John: (Laughs). Yeah I think so, just be careful. Come on, this is important.

They move into the main part of this scene – in a curiously pretty space with a view. John: We came here when we first met.

Liam: Wow you really know how to treat the ladies.

John: (rolls his eyes) I know it was hard for you when your mum and I broke up, but you’ve got to remember we’d been together since we were your age. I was devastated things didn’t work out between us. And I had no idea how to live on my own. I felt like a shadow. I was terrified of becoming a lonely, boring middle aged man. I remember going to the cinema on my own to try and cheer myself up. I felt like a loser.

Liam: I don’t think I’ve ever said sorry for being such a selfish prick.

John: Don’t be daft. You were 13, and anyway you did say sorry at great, slurry length when you came back hammered on your birthday.

Liam: (sighs embarrassedly)

John: I bumped into Alice one day in town. The first thing she did was take the mick out of my clothes. She could tell I was feeling sorry for myself and took the mick out of that too. I thought she was really smart, and bold. We spent the day wandering around, drinking, laughing. It was the best I’d felt in a long time.

Liam: I’ve never been able to wear that coat again after she said I looked like the idiot love child of Brad Pitt and Papa Smurf. She was right as well. (Alter this line depending on actor – something true enough to be visually funny).

John: She’s really... was really funny sometimes. And she could be so sweet. She’d draw my attention to things I never noticed. Colours, sounds, smells, textures, light. I felt like I’d been half asleep and she’d finally woke me up. We came here one night after a few drinks. She made me break in with her and we sat here, had a joint and watched the stars, made up daft stories, talked about how messed up the world is.

Liam: You had a joint?

John: Exactly – she encouraged me out of my comfort zone. I felt like a kid again. I thought I’d found the antidote to getting old.

Liam: I thought she was pretty cool when you first met her. I didn’t think it would last though. I thought she was way too... alternative for you. Thought it was a rebound thing, like... you picked the opposite of Mum.

John: I’m sure that was part of it. I didn’t want to make the same mistake again. (After a pause, realises what that sounds like) Shit I don’t mean mistake. I meant me and your Mum...

Liam: It’s cool. I know what you mean. (pauses) Pretty quick after you met her, though, it got harder to spend time with you. There would always be a reason I couldn’t come round, or you couldn’t come. I knew you weren’t avoiding me, I knew she was making it hard. She was pretty blatant, always finding a reason to say no. John: Yeah I know. People stressed her out, didn’t matter who it was. I think she wanted to have me there all the time and shut the rest of the world out. She wouldn’t do anything on her own. As soon as the initial “falling in love” euphoria wore off, we started fighting and that’s when all that – cutting her arms and overdoses started.

Liam: I remember that time when I was round and you had a big fight. Even when you were going through the divorce with Mum I can’t remember you having fights like that. You’ve only shouted at me like that once or twice.

John: Yeah. It’s hard though if you feel like someone’s controlling you. You need to... stand up for yourself I guess. Say where your limits are, what you can tolerate. I lost count of how many times we broke up and got back together.

Liam: You...meant it this last time though?

John: I... I meant it every time, I’d never pretend to break up just to get a reaction. But it had got to the point where I didn’t see how it was ever going to work. She broke too many promises.

Liam: I think you were the last person to realise that Dad.

John: Well if you love someone you’re always willing to give them another chance. Come on, we’d better go, we’re already pretty late.

SCENE 4 – Arrival - outside the wake

Car pulls in to park. John and Liam get out. Both look a bit apprehensive

I think this scene could be done ad lib by the actors – they just need to convey that they are both apprehensive about walking in, checking they look ok, steeling themselves for the difficult occasion etc. This scene and the first part of the wake are about building up tension. I picture this as an outside location, with the car park about 100 yards from the building, across grass, to give a clear focus for where they are heading and enough distance to build up some anxiety, a sense of foreboding. There could be a couple of the guests smoking outside to give a focal point in the distance (If there are any smokers in the extras).

SCENE 5 Inside the wake

An indoor environment, sombre, extras in suits talking quietly, drinking wine, beer or tea and coffee, buffet on the table (which I’ll provide for the cast and crew!). Main room isn’t visible from the entrance. A background murmur of quiet discussion. Starts with the opening of the outside door, either in the first person or just behind John, looking in. I wanted this scene to build the tension further. I pictured John having to walk through and past a number of people, a sea of sombre faces, who give him a mixed set of reactions, some asking where he was this morning, in a slightly accusatory tone, some asking if he’s ok, some giving him furtive glances and avoiding eye contact, perhaps overhearing someone say “about time”; everything feeling discordant and uncomfortable. I think it’s got to be fairly subtle as I want to suggest that it could be his own fear of the situation, rather than everyone at the wake actually feeling unpleasant things about him. I certainly think we need some hand held first person perspective on this. It could be fun in post to play with the sound and make it muffled at times, slow down and speed up the framerate, and for people’s faces to go in and out of focus, almost as if this is a bad trip. Obviously in reality John is sober and dealing with things fairly well on the surface, so there’s got to be a balance – if it’s overdone the viewer will assume he’s having a seizure!

Female Extra 1 (Mary): Oh John, I didn’t know you were here..

John: Hi Mary, it’s nice to – hope you’re... well. Steve, how are you?

Male Extra 1 (Steve): Hi John, I must have missed you this morning

John: Well actually we just g – um - have you met my son Liam?

Male Extra 1 (Steve): Liam, you’re looking well...

Male Extra 2 (Gordon): John! I was looking for you. How are you doing?

John: Yeah well, you know...

Male Extra 2 (Gordon): Terrible tragedy isn’t it. So young. Just terrible. Have you eaten?

John: Well, no, but-

Male Extra 2 (Gordon): They’ve put on a lovely spread

John: Oh, right, I-

Female Extra 3 (Lynn): (Takes his hand) “John. I’m so sorry, you must be heartbroken”

(For this last statement things slow down and come into visual and audio focus as John makes prolonged eye contact with the lady and considers this last statement – coming into focus suggesting this last statement is close to how he really feels.)

John: Yeah.... (looks down) yeah.

Female Extra 3 (Lynn): I thought the world ended when I lost Peter. It gets easier John. It just takes time.

John: Thanks Lynn.

At this point John looks back at Liam, who is looking smart in his suit, handling himself well with the other guests. The idea is that John is thinking about the future, the reasons for moving on with his life, feeling proud of his son. SCENE 5 Part 2 – The main room of the wake

John walks on into the main space. I picture a fairly open space, with people sitting around tables with drinks and food from the buffet. John surveys the scene. The majority of people are sitting quietly, fairly sombrely but they’re among friends and family. Sue, Alice’s mother, at the other end of the room, has a number of people around her trying to console her. If we’re being cynical – she seems to be hamming it up a bit, making the most of the attention. She notices John and she begins to turn quickly from victim to perpetrator. The background murmuring slowly silences as everyone listens in.

Sue: Oh of course. Here he is. The guest of honour. (She begins to move towards him with purpose).

John: Hello Sue, I-

Sue: Where were you this morning? Too busy? Slept in?

John: Sue, please, I just wanted to let you-

Sue: Oh don’t worry John, you’re here now. Have you eaten? (Picks up a paper plate and starts filling it up). Why don’t you have a vol-au-vent? Here, have some quiche. You like quiche?

John: Sue...please...

Sue: No Quiche? Okay then why don’t you just grab the corners of the tablecloth, pull them together, pick it all up and go and have a fucking picnic somewhere else, cause nobody wants you here.

John: Sue there’s no need for this.

Sue: I’ll tell you what there’s no need for. There’s no need to make out like you’re a knight in shining armour and then break a girl’s heart when she needs you the most. There’s no need for a mother to have to outlive her daughter. There’s no need for you to swan in here acting like you ever gave a shit when she’d be here today if it wasn’t for you.

Liam bursts in at this point – extremely wound up, defending his Dad, who, during Liams rant, touches Liam’s arm and tries to calm him down.

Liam: Hey! Dad spent years trying to help her, and all he ever got back was anger and stupid accusations. He did more for her in the last few years that anyone else here, by a mile. He certainly did more for her than you ever did. You never even visited her in hospital! Why not? Couldn’t admit your daughter was “mental” could you?

John: Liam stop.

Liam: Have you got any idea how many times he spent all night sitting with her in hospital after she cut herself up or took an overdose? There must have been a reason she thought she was so worthless. Where were you?

Sue looks distraught at the idea that she might be to blame John: (Grabs Liams arm) Liam!

We should go. I’m really sorry everybody. Sue, I-

Sue walks right up to John so that only he can hear her

Sue: I know that she told you she couldn’t live without you. I read it in her doctor’s letter.

John looks at Sue, as if she’s just wounded him, with a face of “How could you?”.

John: Come on Liam. (John and Liam leave the wake)

SCENE 6 – On a wall outside the wake

I picture a wide shot, just capturing the side of the building. A low wall with John sitting, and Liam pacing, with a wide grassy space behind the wall. We would start with a long wide shot and then move in on the characters through the scene, using the wide shot as a reference.

Liam: I can’t believe that woman! What a bitch!

John: Liam!

Liam: So what, it’s true! There was no need for her to speak to you like that. I don’t care if her daughter just died, she was totally out of order.

John: Liam, Liam, I know! Calm down! (Gets off the wall, holds Liam’s arms). Liam! (Liam stops pacing). Listen, I’m really glad you want to stick up for me like you just did, and you said what a lot of people will have been thinking, but sometimes you just have to bite your tongue. You can’t have a fight with a grieving mother at a wake.

Liam: Why not? She deserved it. That’s the kind of thing that happens when you act like a dick.

John: (sighs, then chuckling a little) I’m serious, listen to me. You were morally right, but spatially and temporally out of order, ok?

Liam: Eh?

John: Well said, but wrong time and place.

Liam: Oh. Shit. Sorry Dad, but I couldn’t let her talk to you like that.

(Alfie walks into shot, and sits on the wall near John, and lights a roll-up)

John: Oh hey Alfie. Liam, this is Alfie, Alice’s Dad.

(Liam and Alfie acknowledge each other)

John: Is that a spliff? Alfie: Yup

John: Really? Here? Now?

Alfie: Well I was thinking about walking over yonder so that this lot wouldn’t stare at me like they might. But then, on a day like today – fuck it. In the last few years the best times I’ve had with Alice was when we got high together.

Liam: Alfie, I’m really sorry ab-

Alfie: Your Dad’s right son. You said exactly what we were all thinking. Sue’s spent her life blaming other people for things she feels guilty about.

Liam: How long were you listening?

Alfie: Long enough to hear you call my wife a “dick”. I think that’s a first. (Laughing)

John: How are you holding up?

Alfie: Listen, John. I’ve been expecting this for the last 20 years. I remember when Alice was in school, if she wasn’t cutting herself, she’d be making herself throw up, or being brought back by the police full of booze and drugs. We couldn’t cope with her. When she was 16 she kept bringing dodgy people back to the house and doing drugs with them. We couldn’t stop her seeing them so we had to kick her out. I don’t even want to think about what her life was like then.

John: She found it hard to talk about that period in her life.

Alfie: I blame myself for it all sometimes. And when I’m pissed, I blame Sue.

She’s had a lot of shitty boyfriends over the years. When she met you, was the best I’ve seen her since she was a kid. You’re a good man, John, and I know you put a lot of yourself into trying to help her these last few years. I’ll always appreciate that. I know she made it impossible for you. She’s never been able to let anyone help her

John: Thanks Alfie, that means a lot. I just... I just wonder whether things could have worked out differently.

Alfie: Isn’t that always the way?

THE END