Alone Together

Alone Together Ecclesiastes 4:1-12 Living with Limits March 14-15, 2015

Sermon Summary

I. Community Destructive Behaviors a. How we relate to people below us: oppression b. How we relate to people above us: envy II. Community Building Behaviors a. Help when we fall: confession b. Help on the journey: encouragement c. Help with our enemies: prayer

Our relationships have drastically changed since the advent of social media like Facebook. Today we have more relationships than ever before but they are often quite shallow and superficial. Some experts conclude that Facebook is actually making us feel lonelier. They say social media has contributed to the breakdown of community—the very thing it was designed to create.

Community was God’s idea from the beginning. In the opening pages of the bible, God declared that it is not good for man to be alone. Community and satisfying relationships with others is God’s design and intention for all of us. He intends for us to experience blessing in the context of community.

As we consider Ecclesiastes 4:1-12, we see there are behaviors that destroy community—things we do that hinder what God intends for us relationally.

First is how we relate to people below us. How do we use the influence and power God has granted us? Often we use it to oppress others—to dominate them and rule over them. The right use of power is to lift up those who are down, who are weaker than we are.

Also, we need to consider how we relate to those who are above us. How do we feel about people who have more than we do—in terms of possessions or status or talents or relationships? Many of us tend to envy those “above” us. Here is where social media is particularly destructive to community, causing many of us to envy what appears to be the perfect lives everyone else is living.

In contrast, Ecclesiastes exhorts us towards community building behaviors.

The first is confession—how we find help when we fall down. Everyone falls and has problems in life. Sometimes we fall because we are tripped. Nothing we have done— something just happens to us. We lose a job, we get sick, our spouse leaves us. Sometimes we fall because of our own doing—it’s our fault. Either way, we need help picking ourselves back up. Confession is how through community we can get back up again. We need to have another human being to tell our faults and failures and frustrations to!

The second is encouragement. We need help along our journey. We need words of comfort, strength, hope and truth. We need people to cheer us on when we get weary. It is in community that we find this kind of help to keep us going when we are tired and worn out and discouraged.

Finally, there is prayer. Often we face real obstacles in life—enemies who oppose us and are out to destroy us. We cannot face enemies alone. Here we need community around us, praying for us! In Exodus 17, when Joshua was leading the battle against the Amalekites, it was only when Moses’ hands were raised—a picture of prayer— that Joshua prevailed.

We need community. We cannot do life alone. We must turn away from those behaviors that destroy community and cultivate those behaviors in our lives that will build the community we so desperately need.

Link to the Sermon

1. Take a few minutes to share our experiences with social media. Not everyone is on Facebook or Twitter or Instagram. But if you are, how would you say social media has helped or hurt your relationships? What are some specific things you have experienced that you would say has damaged community for you? Do you ever feel envious or even depressed when reading someone’s Facebook page? Are there any positive aspects of social media? What are some positive ways social media can be used to enhance community? If you are not on social media, how do you maintain relationships and build community in your life? 2. Ask people to share their experiences with relationships “above and below” them. In what ways have they seen the tendency to dominate people of low status or to envy people with greater advantages in life?

This Week’s Bible Study

Romans 12: 9-21 (The Message Version)

9-10 Love from the center of who you are; don’t fake it. Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good. Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle. 11-13 Don’t burn out; keep yourselves fueled and aflame. Be alert servants of the Master, cheerfully expectant. Don’t quit in hard times; pray all the harder. Help needy Christians; be inventive in hospitality. 14-16 Bless your enemies; no cursing under your breath. Laugh with your happy friends when they’re happy; share tears when they’re down. Get along with each other; don’t be stuck-up. Make friends with nobodies; don’t be the great somebody. 17-19 Don’t hit back; discover beauty in everyone. If you’ve got it in you, get along with everybody. Don’t insist on getting even; that’s not for you to do. “I’ll do the judging,” says God. “I’ll take care of it.” 20-21 Our Scriptures tell us that if you see your enemy hungry, go buy that person lunch, or if he’s thirsty, get him a drink. Your generosity will surprise him with goodness. Don’t let evil get the best of you; get the best of evil by doing good.

Background and Context

Romans was written by the apostle Paul, probably during his third missionary journey in 57 A.D. He wrote this letter to the Christians in Rome, a place he had yet to visit. The gospel had spread to Rome through Jewish pilgrims from Jerusalem and a sizable church had already formed. Paul’s purpose in writing was first, to prepare them for his visit and second, to comprehensively and systematically present the gospel message. Romans is packed with important theological and doctrinal truths basic to the Christian life, and it is written in a clear, logical way. Everything we need to know about following Jesus will be found in this one letter.

Today’s study from chapter 12 is about how we should live as Christians—what should we do and not do. But before Paul got to this point in his letter, he had already thoroughly laid out the basis of our relationship with God—righteousness through faith in Christ. He wanted there to be no confusion! We can never earn our salvation or merit our relationship with God through good works! It’s on the foundation of Christ’s completed work at the cross on our behalf that we then by faith live out the life God has called us to.

Study & Discuss

It may be helpful to read out loud the passage, first in the NIV and then in The Message. Use both versions throughout your discussion.

1. Paul begins this section with a summary statement. What is it? What does it mean to you to “love sincerely” or “from the center of who you are?” Why do you think Paul begins here with love? Today we often think of love in terms of feeling. Do you think Paul would agree with us? Why or why not?

In scripture, love is to be real and authentic, never fake or phony. Love is an action— never is love merely a feeling. God loved us, so He sent Jesus to die for us! Reference 1 John 3:16-18. Biblical love expresses itself in actions.

2. Paul goes on to describe some of the aspects of love. According to him, what should love should look like? Which of these mean the most to you right now and why? Which do you find the hardest to put into practice and why?

It is never loving to blur the distinctions between good and evil (which many people today believe it is—that it is unloving to say something is right or wrong). Love involves commitment to others (e.g. if we say we are going to do something or be somewhere, we follow through!). Love prefers others over themselves. Love is generous and love is hospitable.

3. In the midst of relational aspects of love, Paul encourages us to “never be lacking in zeal/don’t burn out; keep yourselves fueled and aflame.” What does this mean to you? Why do you think this is important in our discussion of relationships and community? How do you think we “keep ourselves fueled and aflame?”

We must remember that 11 chapters precede this passage. Paul has already determined that we are bankrupt—unable to save ourselves or live the Christian life apart from the power of the Holy Spirit. No where is this more evident than when it come to living out love.

4. Paul goes on to describe some problem areas when it comes to community. What does he address in verse 16? What would it mean for you to “associate with people of low position/make friends with nobodies?”

Class distinctions were huge in the first century, and the early Christians (like us) brought their cultural practices right into the church. The New Testament writers address this problem head on! We have similar issues today—certain people are less desirable as friends. They have nothing to offer us, yet Paul calls us to befriend them.

5. Another problem area is dealing with evil—evil people who do hurtful things. According to Paul, what should and shouldn’t we do? Contrast what Paul says here with what popular culture/society today tells us. Discuss what it would look like if we as Christians really did what Paul was telling us to do.

We all get hurt by other people from time to time—wronged by something they say or do. Some hurts are much greater than others. And it is everyone’s natural human tendency to repay evil for evil. Apart from the Holy Spirit’s work in our hearts, most of us would remain total captives to our vengeful feelings. A helpful key is the truth that God will repay every wrong! We must in a sense, get out of His way, leaving room for His wrath in the situation.

6. What do you think verse 18 means (“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone/If you’ve got it in you, get along with everybody”)? What doesn’t it mean?

Paul is not suggesting a “peace at any price” approach to relationships. He is not endorsing co-dependency—that we should never speak out about another’s abuse or sin or never draw a boundary line. Rather, he is saying that for our part, we must do what we can to be at peace with others. This verse implies that total peace is not always possible because it is not just up to us.

Ministry Time

Allow time to welcome the presence of God and wait for the Holy Spirit to speak— giving specific guidance for prayer and ministry time. Here are a couple suggestions:  The topic of the sermon—being alone and loneliness—is very real today. Sensitively encourage those who are feeling alone—like they really have no one with whom to share their deepest hurts and struggles—to get prayer. Being alone is not God’s heart for them, and the group can begin to show community to each other by praying for this most basic need.  Others may be struggling with “an enemy”—someone at work, or school or even in their family. Offer to pray, for the strength to do what Paul tells us to do in this passage and for deliverance from the evil!