Discerning Love: Friendship

Sunday Morning 8/5/2012 Pastor David King -Part 13- Got Friends? Proverbs 18:24 A man who has friends must himself be friendly, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:24

There are few things in this life that compare with the satisfaction and joy that comes from having a true friend. A true friend will stick with you through adversity, a true friend will speak truth into your life, a true friend will help you grow and change, a true friend will live life with you! Whether you know it or not, you need friends, and this morning we are going to explore God’s blueprint for making and keeping friends!

THE POWER OF THE PACK: Choosing Friends  Proverbs 13:20 20 He who walks with wise men will be wise, But the companion of fools will be destroyed.  Proverbs 12:26 26 The righteous should choose his friends carefully, For the way of the wicked leads them astray.  Proverbs 22:24 24 Make no friendship with an angry man, And with a furious man do not go,  Proverbs 27:17 17 As iron sharpens iron, So a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.

“It’s hard to fly with eagles when you’re surround by turkeys! --Unknown Author  All of us desire and need friendship, but choosing the wrong friends can lead to disastrous results. Friends can either help pull you up, or they can drag you down.  What kind of friends do you keep?  Are you the kind of friend worth keeping?

THE POWER OF LOYALTY: Protecting Friends  Proverbs 17:17 17 A friend loves at all times, And a brother is born for adversity.  Proverbs 18:24 24 A man who has friends must himself be friendly, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.  Proverbs 27:10  Do not forsake your own friend or your father’s friend, Nor go to your brother’s house in the day of your calamity; Better is a neighbor nearby than a brother far away. Are you the type of friend that perseveres through adversity or do you bail when the good times are past?

 Proverbs 20:5 5 Counsel in the heart of man is like deep water, But a man of understanding will draw it out. Are you willing to invest deeply in your friendships?

THE POWER OF WORDS: Hurting or Healing Friends  Proverbs 16:28 28 A perverse man sows strife, And a whisperer separates the best of friends.  Proverbs 17:9 9 He who covers a transgression seeks love, But he who repeats a matter separates friends. Gossip=Relationship Killer Grace=Relationship Healer

 Proverbs 27:6 6 Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.  Proverbs 27:9 9 Ointment and perfume delight the heart, And the sweetness of a man’s friend gives delight by hearty counsel. Do your words and counsel promote growth in your friends?

 Proverbs 22:11 11 He who loves purity of heart And has grace on his lips, The king will be his friend.  Proverbs 15:1 1 A soft answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger. Are you a peacemaker and grace giver? THE POWER OF THE GOSPEL: Keeping Friends  John 15:13 13 Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.  Matthew 18:21–35 …32 Then his master, after he had called him, said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me. 33 Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?’ 34 And his master was angry, and delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all that was due to him. 35 “So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses.” The gospel boldly proclaims and demonstrates that a relationship can be saved through the Christ-like act of forgiveness. The gospel is the most powerful glue for any relationship!

The story of friendship is best portrayed when our greatest friend and only Savior, Jesus Christ, died in our place. The gospel is the story of broken relationships made right by the ultimate sacrifice of one friend, Jesus, in response to the unfriendly, rebellious acts of you and me. The power and hope of friendship is rooted deeply in the message of the gospel! Big Idea: To Have a Friend You Must Be a Friend! Friend Hebrew expression: reaʿ Pronunciation: RAY ah Strong’s Number: 7453 KEY VERSES 2 Samuel 16:17; Job 16:21; Proverbs 17:17; 18:24; 19:4, 6; 22:11 “ There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother” is a proverb that shows that the natural ties of people can be superseded and surpassed by ties of willing devotion and companionship (Prov. 18:24). Human beings are not slaves to their natural ties of flesh and blood or shared environment. As moral, ethical, and deeply relational beings, they can establish lasting friendship with any other person God has created in His image! The Hebrew word reaʿ, “friend,” “companion,” “neighbor,” or “fellow,” is a powerful word. It comes from the root of the verb raʿah, “to associate with,” “to be friends with,” “to be a companion to.” The book of Proverbs holds forth some encouraging things about friends. Offering wise instruction, it teaches that a righteous man is cautious about his friendships (Prov. 12:26). A friend, reaʿ, loves through all times—through thick and thin, through good and bad (Prov. 17:17). They are like a brother or sister to help in difficult times—but even better. Sometimes, however, the social or financial standing of a person causes his friends to forsake him, especially if he is poor (Prov. 19:4). False friendship is a reality, especially for those who benefit others by gift giving (Prov. 19:6). Gossip was and is a deadly enemy to friendship (Prov. 16:28). It is to be avoided like the plague! Sometimes, it is better to avoid making friends—as in the case of a man who cannot control his anger (Prov. 22:24). Proverbs records other aspects of a true friend, that should help us not only to be a friend, but also to pick friends. A true friend always shows candor and critique that can be trusted; although they wound you, you can trust them (Prov. 27:6). A faithful friend can be counted on for counsel that is pleasant to hear (Prov. 27:9). The mind of a friend sharpens one’s own understanding (Prov. 17:17). A friend speaks the proper words at the appropriate time (Prov. 25:17, 20; 26:18, 19; 27:14). A person who has gracious speech and a heart of integrity will be recognized as a friend by the King (Prov. 22:11). God wanted to be Israel’s friend. He, in fact, spoke with Moses as a friend (Exod. 33:11). God spoke of Abraham as His friend (using ʾoheb, a synonym of reaʿ here; compare also Prov. 18:24; Jas. 2:23). In the New Testament, it is easy to view Jesus as the friend who is closer than a brother (John 15:15). He was a friend of even tax collectors and “sinners” (NIV, Matt. 11:19, philos in Greek). Since being a friend involves bonding with someone, James warns his readers not to become friends with the evil ways of this world, for to do so makes one an enemy of God (Jas. 4:4, philos in Greek). Constantly in the New Testament, the authors address their readers as beloved friends— all hostility has been removed in Christ.1

1 Carpenter, E. E., & Comfort, P. W. (2000). Holman treasury of key Bible words: 200 Greek and 200 Hebrew words defined and explained (66). Nashville, TN: Broadman & Holman Publishers. SEPTEMBER 21, 2008 PASTOR DAVID KING THE ANATOMY OF FRIENDSHIP 1 SAMUEL 18-20, 23 PART 7 OF SERIES: DAVID A MAN AFTER GOD’S OWN HEART

A man who has friends must himself be friendly, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:24

As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend. Proverbs 27:17

There are few things in this life that compare with the satisfaction and joy that comes from having a true friend. It is this type of friend that the proverbs speak much about, and it is this very form of friendship that we see illustrated in the lives of Jonathon and David. These two men were willing to give to one another anything including their own lives. Their friendship was formed and forged in the midst of much adversity and trial. It indeed was a friendship that stood the test of both life and death. Today we examine three core values of true friendship as illustrated in David and Jonathon.

I. A TRUE FRIEND LOVES ______

1 SAMUEL 18:1-4; 19:1-7; 20:1-42; PROVERBS 17:17, 27:10; LUKE 11:5- 8

II. A TRUE FRIEND SPEAKS ______1 SAMUEL 23:14-18; PROVERBS 27:6, 9, 17

III. A TRUE FRIEND SHARES ______1 SAMUEL 23:16-18; 2 CORINTHIANS 5:9; EPHESIANS 5:8-11; 2 CORINTHIANS 6:14

What type of friendships are you forging today? Are your friendships surface- deep finding their starting point in fleeting interests like work, sports, community, etc? I submit to you this morning that many of us have fallen into a trap of building friendships upon the shifting sands of this world’s passions instead of the solid rock of God’s purposes. A true friendship will begin with a common passion which is rooted in God and His Glory! Discerning Love: Friendship

The Bible is a book about relationships. First and foremost it is about our God seeking to restore a relationship with mankind that was broken by our sins. Secondarily, it is a book about how to cultivate and maintain meaningful relationships with those around us. We see in the Bible examples of great friendships accomplishing great things for God. Moses had Aaron and Joshua, David was supported by Jonathon, Daniel strengthened Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, Paul discipled Timothy, and Peter and John turned the world upside down in Jerusalem! Friends are a gift from God that all of us need.

I. Qualities of a True Friend: Proverbs 27 A. They will ______you! (6) B. They will ______you! (9) C. They will ______to you! (10, Proverbs 17:17) D. They will ______you! (17)

II. Keys to developing a deep friendships A. Develop an attitude of acceptance: 1 Samuel 18:1-4 B. Create an atmosphere of openness: 1 Samuel 18:1-4 C. Relate a genuine feeling of empathy: Romans 12:15 D. Plan a time of accountability and prayer: James 5:16

Conclusion:

9 Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. 10 For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up. 11 Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone? 12 And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken. --Ecclesiastes 4:9-12