HSC Core: Parenting and Caring

Becoming a parent or caring

- Dependent: an individual who is under the care of someone else; includes children and the cared for

- Play a significant role in community and equipped with vast array of specialised knowledge and skills

- Caring: looking after the needs of someone else

- Often learn on the job and can work from a variety of theories and approaches to see what suits best

- Society changes the way parenting is changing due to the growth of technology

Types of parents and carers

Biological:

- Genetic material to create a foetus

- Biological parents contribute generic material as a result of sexual intercourse

- IVF: can assist with this process as well

Social:

- Associated with legal and social implications i.e. adoption, fostering, step-parenting and surrogacy

- Out-of-home care: used for the system where children and young people (up to 18) are unable to live with their birth families for due to a number of circumstances

- Safety: individuals who do not feel safe in their families often live in other homes

Adoption:

- Used to provide permanent care for children who are unable to live with their birth families

- Legal process where all legal rights and responsibilities are transferred from birth parents to adoptive parents

- ‘Open’ adoption: all parties agree to contact and information exchange. This continues an going relationship with biological parents - Three main programs: Local adaptation and permanent care, out-of-home care adoption, intercountry adoption

Types of care or adoption Description

Local adoption - Children from two years of age

- Birth parents voluntarily make a decision to have their child adopted

Permanent care - Children under responsibility of Family and Community Services

- Children unable to remain in care of parents or family members

Out-of-home care adoption - Assessed that children are not able to live with their parents or extended family

- Children are placed with authorised carers

Intercountry adoption - Adoptions between Australia and a country that is a member of Hague Convention on Protection of Children and Co-operation in Respect of Intercountry Adoption

Intrafamily adoption - Adoption of a child who lives in NSW by a step-parent or relative

- One or two types: step-parent adoption or relative adoption

- According to The Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Child Placement Principle, an Aboriginal and TSI child can only be placed with a non-indigenous carer if an appropriate placement cannot be found in these groups:

1. Child’s extended family

2. Child’s Indigenous Community 3. Other indigenous people

Fostering:

- Alternative living arrangement for children whose parents are temporarily unable to care for them in their family home

- Volunteers who are pained a fortnightly allowance to help them meet their needs i.e. buying furniture or clothing

- It can be from a few days to years

- A child may be put into foster care if:

 They are considered to be at risk of harm

 Their basic physical and emotional needs are not being met

 There may be risk of abuse or exposure to domestic violence

- Sometimes a parent is unable to provide care owing due to physical or mental health or are in prison

- Provided to live in familiar areas to help maintain self-esteem, sense of belonging and continuity

- Needs to be authorised by FACs

Step-parenting:

- When a man or woman marries or forms a de facto relationship with a partner who has a child or children from a previous relationship, they become a step-parent

- Occur due to divorce, separation, death or other circumstances

- A step-parents:

 Is not a biological parent of the child

 Is or has been married to, or has been a de facto partner

 Treats the child as a member of the family formed with the parent

- Many issues need to be managed i.e. feeling accepted, space, possessions and relationships are shared

Surrogacy: - An arrangement between a couple who cannot have a baby and a woman who gets pregnant on behalf of a couple’s behalf; the child is given after delivery

- May need a surrogate if the woman is infertile, has had a hysterectomy or suffers from medical conditions

- A paid person cannot help as it generally involves family members

- Altrustic surrogacy is where a woman agrees, for no financial reason to bear a child for another person

- To be listed on the birth certificate as the child’s legal parents, the infertile couple must apply to adopt the child

- After adoption, the adopting parents have the same rights as biological parents

- Two types:

 Traditional: when a woman is pregnant with her own biological child but conceives the child with the intention of handing it over to be raised by others

 Gestational: woman is impregnated with a fertilised egg to which she has no genetic connection and carries the child until birth

Carers:

- Definition varies from organisation

- Generally covers primary carers, formal and informal carers i.e. someone who provides ongoing personal care to a dependent

- Primary carer:

 Person who provides the most informal assistance in terms of supervision or help to a person with one or more disabilities or who is aged 60 years or over

 This may be for 6 months or more and be for more than one core activity suh as communication, mobility etc.

 Are different to paid care workers or volunteers

 More likely to be the partner of the dependent

 There are many young carers as they tend to look after those with long-term physical illness, mental illness, disability and drug or alcohol problem  Take on a variety of task i.e. shopping, cooking and household duties as well as assisting in showering, toileting and daily activities

- Informal carers:

 Any person, such as a family member, friend or neighbour, who is giving regular, ongoing assistance to another person without payment i.e. grandmother looking after her three year old granddaughter while the parents are at work

 Reasons: family responsibility, feeling they could provide better care than others and obligation to do it

 Informal carers are often women as women generally take on the nurturing and caring role so this task is designed as ‘women’s work’

- Formal carers:

 Trained professionals who provide care through formal agencies or institutions and are paid by receiver

 Examples nurse, aged carer, palliative carer, childcare worker, teacher

 Basically anyone who receives income for their caring role

The roles of parents and carers

- Satisfying the specific needs of the dependent:

 Meet the needs of adequate standard of living i.e. provide food, shelter and clothing

 Meeting needs of safety and security by showing their dependent understanding, love and support. Consistency ad routines assist the dependent to develop security

 Providing medical assistance when required and going to the doctor or any medical check ups ensures other health needs are met

 Education in the early years is vital. Studies show that a very high level of intellectual, social and emotional development takes place before the child begins formal education (before school) specifically during the infant years

- Building a positive relationship with the dependent:  Positive relationship is one where both people grow as a result of their interaction

 Responsibility lies on parents. This occurs through love, bonding, affection, understanding and patience

 Designates quality time with children and showing a genuine interest in their hobbies and provide opportunities for resilience and independence to develop  feeling valued and affirmed

 Assist in developing self-discipline and maturity through taking on age- appropriate responsibilities (needs to be modelled by parent)

 Behaviours are often ‘caught not taught’  kids watch the behaviour

 Can help children becoming independent by speaking to them at an eye level and using appropriate care (including children with a disability)

 Can be difficult when the dependent was formerly an equal or higher status i.e. spouse or parent. Roles changes, so does the responsibilities and relationship  can lead into conflict i.e. financial and residential issues

 Young carers may resent to caring about their social, educational and career aspirations  difficult to build strong relationships outside the family

- Promoting the wellbeing of the dependent

 Parents and carers should promote opportunities to foster, develop and support aspects of wellbeing

 Wellbeing aspects: emotional, economic, cultural, physical, spiritual and social

Preparations for becoming a parent or carer

- The acronym COME represents the 4 areas involved in preparing to become a parent or carer:

 C: Changing health behaviours

o Need to make positive lifestyle choices before they start conceiving a baby and during pregnancy

o Some guidelines include: drinking 1 to 2L of water a day and participate in regular exercise but avoid impact sports o Social and spiritual connections: child-friendly social activities, meeting with other carers

 O: Organising finances

o Includes budgeting, saving and setting up for support payments

o Can be done together as a family or consult with an accountant

o Need to consider extra cost such as medical expenses, equipment, clothing, toys, nappies etc. anything related to the child

o Need to consider building up their savings to help provide them with some relief when off of work i.e. for day to day cost

o Can benefit from support payments i.e. Centrelink, Paid Parental Leave

 M: Modifying the physical environment

o Housing, amenities and equipment

o May need to move into a larger home and consider living arrangements for family to better prepare

o Equipment such as ramps, rails and non-slip floors need to be installed and safely store high chairs, prams etc away

 E: Enhancing knowledge and skill

o Includes education, information and training

o Can begin with prenatal and postnatal (after pregnancy) classes with midwives in hospitals, online courses, health services, workshops in groups or private settings

o Parents should choose valid and reliable information as many are coming from social media and online forums

o Informal carers can access information from TAFE, communities and local councils

Factors affecting the role of parents and carers

- Characteristics of the dependent:  Age: age and maturity of the dependent will determine their specific needs i.e. babies rely on their parents to satisfy these needs compared to a teenager

o Child needs to experience love and affection in order to be capable of giving love and affection

o Positive relationship occurs when dependent and parent/carer feel a bond of trust and openness, effective communication and supportive relationship. No matter what age, all should be building towards this

o Promoting wellbeing = promoting ability to manage resources

o Need to change tactics by accommodating needs of dependent i.e. self esteem

 Skills and capabilities: influence the role of parent or carer

o An adolescent may contribute to health needs by joining a sports team , fresh foods and not consuming drugs and alcohol

o Carer should spend more time to build skills and capabilities in a dependant i.e. individuals with a disability may need assistance with feeding, bathing and food preparation

o Childcare situations: skills and capabilities of children impact on roles of childcare worker i.e. change nappies of babies and infants assist with toileting

 Special needs: relate to people with an illness, disability or allergies and to gifted children

o Promoting wellbeing is important. Require more physical and emotional support i.e. between husband and wife if one becomes th dependant. May have no recognition of carer or appreciation for the role carried out everyday  issues and changes may arise for a parent or carer of a dependant with special needs

o Positive relationship may be easier to build cases where more time is needed for activities of daily living i.e. hygiene

o Lack of communication can impact on ability to build positive relationship

- Influences on parents and carers:  Parenting and caring relationships are influenced by a variety of factors

 Influenced by a combination of these factors

 Remember this: CROPMESS

 Personal influences:

Culture, customs and tradition - Generally want children to uphold culture they were born into

- Related to their cultural background or the way things have always happened in their family

- May satisfy child’s physical need through providing cultural dress and foods from culture or celebrating events

- Born into a culture in which beliefs and customs are passed down from one generation to another  positive relationships and bonding

- In some cultures, older siblings take on significant roles in caring for younger members while adults work i.e. Aboriginal

- Language barriers and lack of information available to culturally and linguistically diverse (CALD) ages people and their families may affect care choices of families

- For example: some cultures restrict freedom and independence of their daughters or need a chaperone when socialising with boys

Religion/spirituality - Time when people are searching for identity, with religious exploration being part of this process

- Generally, parents try to pass on their faith practices or delegate this to a school with a religious ethos (catholic schools etc.)

- If children decides to find an alternative path that the parents have modelled, it can be a difficult time for the both of them. Trust is violated and parents may feel their example is not valued

- Influenced by the choice of educational institution, social activities the family is involved in and willingness to help others outside of the family and financial resources are allocated

- Need to respect the religion and values the dependent has chosen i.e. be understanding, be educated about it

Education - Parent’s or carer’s education level may influence the way their role is carried out

- Aims to enhance skills and knowledge of parents and carers so they may understand and be better prepared to deal with activities and interactions that are apart of being in a caring relationship

- For example: Parenting groups. Contribute to formal and informal education  formal and informal resources

- Parents who have a positive relationship can make a difference in development of literacy and numeracy skills values will be transmitted to children

- Likelihood of further education is increased if parents followed this path

- If carer is formally qualified or has significant experience = better quality of care

Previous experience and own upbringing - Evolving practices meaning parenting or caring needs to be modified

- For example: After the first child, the parent can change their parenting abilities for the second child

- The way someone has be raised can influence the way they parent (positive or negative)

Multiple commitments - Parents and carers carry out multiple roles in their daily life = many responsibilities

- Amount of time and energy these pursuits take can impact on quality of relationships with dependents

- Need to make decisions on child care, school type and after-school extracurricular activities for their children

- Many benefits such as being more involved in dependent’s life, more energy and take break from other demanding roles

- Requires management strategies so they can meet the responsibilities and expectations of multiple roles

- Use personal management skills to effectively manage needs of both themselves and their dependent

- Management strategies are to help determine the goal and how to reach it i.e. identifying values, establishing routine, encouraging cooperation, managing positive attitude

Socioeconomic status (SES) - Individual’s SES is influenced by income they receive, occupation, level of education and area they live in. The combination impacts on their parenting skills

- Some parents who have high incomes are forced to spend long hours at work and compromises time with their children therefore hire nannies

- Similarly send their child to a boarding school = decrease quality of relationship however child can become self-reliant and mature

- Families who enjoy low-cost activities i.e. camping, may have more opportunities for effective communication = enhances bonding between parent and child

Special needs - People require more support than those without special needs

- This includes illness, disability, giftedness or allergies (predisposition)

- Relationships are enhanced due to the close bond they will share, it can become more difficult because of the special needs requirements

- For example: communication might not be as clear or need for dependency in a relationship can create strain and stress in that relationship

 Social influences

Community attitudes - Reflect the prevailing norm of people within a certain area

- Norms may include prescribed behaviours, standards of dress, methods of education or acceptable activities

- Families who are unaware or choose not to conform may face opposition and questioning by others (negativity from community)

- Other issues include vaccinations and breast feeding

Gender expectations - People of different genders behave distinctively and this is reflected in the way they carry out their parenting and caring roles

- Child’s definition of ‘female’ and ‘male’ develops from observation and modelling parents’ behaviour (what they see, they will do)

- For example: A child who sees both parents doing household chores will see that as normal compared to a child seeing their mum complete all of the housekeeping

- Demonstrating flexibility in the responsibilities linked to gender roles, less conflict and greater cooperation are likely to be seen in parenting and caring

- Expectations parents have of their children will influence their interactions with them i.e. a dad giving a football to their son (toys tend to link to a gender)

- Similarly, in the caring profession i.e. nursing and teaching, most are females. Despite growing numbers of males, men still prefer women to care for them because of the ‘nurturing’ factor

- Parenting roles have changed drastically with fathers having access to paternity leave and becoming stay at home dads or ‘house husbands’

Media stereotypes - Individuals are exposed to behaviours and opinions that are expressed on TV, radio and internet etc.

- For example: billboards advertising nursing jobs with female models

- Messages are generally subtle (not obvious)

- Sometimes behaviours depicted are compatible with individual values = positive however can challenge values = negative

- Media have enabled carers and dependants to find out about financial support, advocacy  carers being about to perform their roles more effectively  enhancing relationship with dependant

- Styles of parenting or caring

 Authoritarian (Bossy)

o Demanding and inflexible parent with a goal in mind

o Expects obedience and dependants get little input in decisions that may affect them

o Can result in a resentful and distant relationship

o May not promote wellbeing of dependant

o This is only suitable for emergency situations such as a fire

 Democratic (Contribute to discussion)

o All members to have a say in decisions

o Dependants feel appreciated

o Likely to build respectful and positive relationship

o May increase trust in one another as they share opinions and values

o Effective communication is efficient

 Permissive/indulgent (easy going)

o Excessive leniency o Dependant may ask for permission to be involved in an activity and the parent/carer is most likely to agree

o Lack of respect since no rules or boundaries are set

o Ultimately dependant may feel like parents do not care about them

o This can lead to poor wellbeing and may engage in high-risk activities

o Can become immature and continually want attention and their needs met first

 Negligent (Ignored)

o Can occur a variety of ways i.e. physical, mental

o Parents/carers are responsible for meeting variety of needs for their dependant and this does not occur with negligent parenting

o Dependant’s wellbeing is not promoted and they may be malnourished, unhealthy and having learning disabilities = not feel loved or cared for

o Elder abuse (single or repeated act of action that causes harm to an older person). This is a common issue nowadays where over- medicating individuals is used to control behaviour

- Rights and responsibilities in parenting and caring (page 242-244 for more laws and details)

 Legal rights of parents, carers and dependants

o All people in society have rights (entitlements)

Parents - Certain rights and they should receive full recognition in their roles

- Various Acts from states in Australia that cover the rights of a parent

- Family Law Act (1975) states that parents and legal guardians have a right to:

- D: discipline - E: Education

- A: Adoption (can consent to)

- L: Legal proceedings (on child’s behalf)

- M: Medical decisions (determine child’s daily upbringing)

Carers Have a right to:

- Be recognised and acknowledged in their role

- Receive financial assistance i.e. Carer Recognition Act 2010

- Be covered by Anti- discrimination Amendment

- Request flexible work hours under Fair Work Act 2009

- Act as an advocate for the dependent when required

- Access support through the National Carer Counselling Program

Children Basic rights:

- Autonomy of children: make their own decisions

- Medical treatment: over the age of 14, can make own medical decisions

- Inheritance: children have no right to inherit their parents’ property after death but are entitled to claim under family law provisions

The four basic rights from the UN Convention:

- Non-discrimination against children

- Actions concerning children must be in the best interest

- All children have the right to life, survival and development

- Children have the right to have their own views expressed and heard

A child has a right to:

- Enjoy these rights

- Develop a holistic (overall) wellbeing in a safe, free life

- Have a name and nationality

- Adequate access to nutrition, housing, recreation and medical care

- Special treatment, education and care if handicapped

- Love and understand by parents

- Receive free education

- First to receive protection and relief

- Be protected from any forms of neglect, cruelty or exploitation

Dependents Have the right to: - Participate in decisions that impact them

- Adequate care, compassion and understanding

- Be protected from neglect and abuse

- Be part of the community

- Receive services i.e. medical support

- Pursue a grievance and also to use the assistance of an advocate

 Responsibilities of parents and carers

o Responsibilities: duties or obligations

o Responsibilities to a dependant include: (page 245 of Nelson Community and Family Studies book)

 Develop personal, physical, intellectual, social and emotional skills

 Provide secure and safe family environment

 Establish and maintain positive communication patterns

 Provide access to family and community resources

 Spend time with dependants

 Listen to values’ dependants and many more

o Duty of care: legally means that parents and carers are the individuals who must meet the needs of their dependants. In the case of a family breakdown, parents or child may make an application to the Family Court for this standard legal position to be varied  Australia has legislation that related to child welfare and protection i.e. Children (Care and Protection) Act 1987 (NSW)

 Duties can be transferred i.e. when parents place children in childcare centres or when schools assume the responsibility

 Duty of care relates to negligence: 4 key factors that are essential in deciding whether or not someone is negligent:

1. Duty of care

2. Standard of care

3. Breach of duty of care

4. Harm or loss o Setting limits: It is in every dependant’s right to have firm guidelines and limits. Allows dependants opportunities to:

 Know what is expected of them

 Know how far they can go

 Learn about fairness

 Respect others

 Foster self-esteem o Discipline: parents and carers should establish clear rules and practise discipline that is understood by their dependants

 It’s through families that children both experience healthy and unhealthy behaviours and habits by copying their family members’ habits i.e. during stressful times

 How to make these rules:

1. Decide on a few important rules

2. Discuss the reasons for these rules with their dependant

3. Involve them into the discussion making process and what the consequences will be

4. Praise their dependant when rules are followed 5. Consistently, assertively and calmly follow through with the consequences when rules are broken

6. Change the rules and expectations as the dependant grows older and mature

Support for parents and carers

- Types of support: can be formal or informal

 Informal support: is not backed by an organisation or service i.e. relatives, friends and neighbours

o Relatives: They offer support by ensuring boundaries and limits are set on the dependant (consistent).

 Extensive changes in society i.e. growth in female participation in the workplace, parenting roles are shared between partners. Fathers are spending more time with their children

 Non-custodial parents (the parents who has their children during the weekends and parts of the holidays) can be extra financial and emotional support

 Many adolescents take on responsibility for younger siblings. This may involve babysitting, transport, cooking and other activities. This gives parents more time to manage additional roles i.e. coaching the local netball team. It can also build value skills for the future  help their future families

 Grandparents: holding a greater role of assisting in the financial and social sense. Help meet the needs of the family members by assisting in child care for their grandchildren. This is generally unplanned

o Friends: if a parent needs to go to a doctor’s appointment, a friend can care for the child

 These friends could also be called on to support the parent emotionally in preparation for their role or changing roles overtime

 Assist in enhancing wellbeing

o Neighbours:  Likely trusted individuals who come with the added convenience of close proximity

 Assist with moving or pick up children from school (if needed)

 Can offer advice on parenting

 Formal support: recognised agency or organisation. Individuals can gain access to these types of support through different means i.e. Government agencies

o Government Agencies:

 Are government funded and administered groups i.e. NSW heath, Department of Health etc (see page 251)

o Community organisations:

 Can include welfare agencies or other community services

 Examples are Red Cross, Smith Family and Mission Australia

 A person’s finances will determine the level of support they will receive. Their role is to: (see page 252)

1. Assist parents and carers to meet primary needs i.e. clothing, furniture

2. Support low-income families who are experiencing high levels of stress

3. Pay bills i.e. gas

4. Transport

- Types of services provided through formal support

 Health care: health services available to parents and carers cover all dimensions of health. Examples include: (page 253)

o Family doctors, midwives

o Specialists: dentists, physiotherapist

o Medicare and private health funds

o Rehabilitation centres

o Early childhood centres  Education: can include formal support at all stages. Variety of services are available to assist with skills and knowledge surrounding parenting and caring (online and face to face). Examples: (page 253-254)

o Australian Breastfeeding Association

o Carers Australia

o Carers NSW

o Families NSW

o Young Carers

o My Aged Care

 Financial Support: gained from two main sources: government (Centrelink) and welfare agencies (page 251-252)

o Examples of government financial support i.e. Paid parental leave, Child Care Benefit, Child Care Rebate etc.

o Centrelink also provides the Basics card which allows people to buy essential goods and services at approved businesses. The card is designed to assist with managing income so that priority needs are met first (can’t pay for alcohol, gambling or cigarettes)

 Child Care:

o Role is to provide certified and safe care for parents who are working, studying or taking care of other dependants

o Essential for working parents

o Can be expensive

o Fantastic facility that allows children to learn, grow, socialise, explore and create

o Strict guidelines and accreditations attached to childcare services i.e. Australian Government approving services Child Care Benefit purposes if it meets the standards

o Australian Government’s MyChild website is a useful tool to gain information and explore appropriate childcare services

 Respite Care: o Temporary care of an ages, ill or disabled person, usually in an institution

o Designed to give cares a break from demands of daily routine

o Can occur in a hospital, nursing home etc.

o Provided by community care service i.e. Home and Community Care Program

o Many carers benefit from both dependent and carer and help them to build positive relationship

o There is a greater demand for respite care than what is available

 Counselling:

o Someone trained to offer a talk-based therapy

o They are different from psychiatrists (medical doctors who have had extra training specialising in mental health). Prescribe mood-altering medications to help manage symptoms of mental illnesses i.e. depression

o Important for parents and carers to be aware that not all counsellors are professionally qualified

o Spend 3 or more years training

o May occur at a community health centre, private practice, skype or appropriate chat space i.e. Parentline, Family Relationships