What Missionaries Ought to Know About Depression (But Are Reluctant to Ask)

 Romans 8:7. “The sinful (sarx) mind is  “They are the disrespectful ways spouses  If you were twice a smart as you are now, What Cross-Cultural hostile to God. It does not submit to address each other”—If they hear both you’d still be stupid. Workers Ought to Know God’s law, nor can it do so. husbands and wives using them. However, such remarks could be  1 Corinthians 3:3. You are still worldly They may be confused as to how to devastating to people who have doubts about about Sarcasm (sarx). For since there is jealousy and reconcile the sarcastic remarks with Scripture their intellectual ability. They might laugh quarreling among you, are you not that says to be kind and encouraging to each outwardly but be crying on the inside, and no Some people, including cross-cultural worldly (sarx)? other. one would realize how much they hurt. workers, believe that sarcastic remarks are This use in the Bible does not mean cute, get a laugh, and do no harm. For that everyone who makes a sarcastic remark is “Misunderstood” Cross-Cultural “Milquetoast” Cross-Cultural example, they find that the following one- worldly, unspiritual, or sinful; however, it Workers Workers liners may bring laughter from a group. does mean that one must be very careful  You don’t have an inferiority complex: because such remarks may do harm. Here are Other cross-cultural worker Some of the other cross-cultural you really are inferior. some ways they may do so, and some ways to colleagues may misunderstand sarcastic workers on the team may be uncomfortable  Whatever is eating you must really be prevent that. suffering. remarks intended to be funny. This is with the sarcastic comments but say nothing. especially true of multicultural teams which They may not want to cause relationship  Talk is cheap, but that’s OK. You are too.  “Mean” Cross-Cultural Workers are becoming much more common. Even if problems out of fear that the sarcastic  What you lack in intelligence you make everyone on the team speaks English, some remarks may increase. up for in stupidity. Humor in another language is difficult people on the team are using English as a Such remarks may get a laugh, but  They may not want to cause dissention or to understand at best. Many times interpreters second language. The principle for those team awkwardness on a team that lives and they may also do harm. Webster’s Dictionary translate “jokes” as, “This guy just told a joke, members is the same as for the nationals, they Unabridged defines sarcasm as “a taunting, works closely together. and I don’t have any idea what it is. Laugh may not understand that they were said in jest.  They may rationalize that this is just the sneering, cutting, or caustic remark.” The heartily to make him feel good.” Sarcastic In addition, even cross-cultural dictionary notes that the word comes from the way the person is and that he or she just remarks intended to be funny may be taken workers who all speak English as their first will never change. Greek “sarkasmos from sarkazein, to tear literally by nationals, as insulting and not as language may not understand that the sarcastic  They may decide that the remark is just a flesh like dogs, to speak bitterly, from sarx funny. remark is meant to be funny. In one case, one “picky” thing, not really a problem. flesh.” Rather than tearing physical flesh, When nationals who know some person on a team misunderstood that the For whatever reason, these teammates such remarks may tear emotional “flesh.” English hear cross-cultural workers calling leader was just kidding. She never said say nothing, and the situation continues. This Such emotional wounds may take far longer to each other inferior, cheap, or stupid, they may anything but kept it bottled up for nearly a is especially likely if team leaders are the ones heal than physical wounds. think that they are insulting, mean, or cruel whole year. Near the end of the year she making the sarcastic remarks. Unfortunately, Sarx appears more than 150 times in and lacking in respect for each other. If they exploded about the kind of comments her unless they are confronted, the situation is not the New Testament and is usually translated do not pick up the changes in tone, they may leader had made repeatedly, much to her likely to change, and some cross-cultural as “flesh” or “fleshly.” However, in about 10 think that such labels are acceptable for leader’s surprise. workers may leave the team because of the places it is translated differently, and in those Christians. This is most likely to occur when a hurt. places the King James Version translated it as These may be taken several ways, cross-cultural worker feels especially insecure “carnal.” Since carnal is seldom used today, depending on who they hear using them. about something. For example, the following “Merciful” Cross-Cultural Workers some translations use other words. For  “They are the disrespectful ways remarks may be fine for someone who knows example, the New International Version Christians address each other”—If they they are intelligent. translates it as follows. Still other cross-cultural workers may are commonly used by people on a team.  Are you always this dumb or are you  Romans 7:14. “We know that the law is say nothing because they want to be good,  “They are the disrespectful ways that trying harder today? spiritual but I am unspiritual (sarx), sold loving, understanding, and merciful. They are leaders address followers”—If they hear  I don’t know what makes you so dumb, as a slave to sin.” them from a leader. not afraid to say something, but they are but it really works. reluctant to confront the sarcastic cross-cultural worker because confrontation seems to be Ephesians 4-5 has several passages of another individual to do this relative to a unloving, almost unchristian. Scripture relevant to confrontation. specific issue, such as sarcastic remarks. These cross-cultural workers seem to  In Ephesians 4:15-16 Paul talks about Again, just because people make think that being loving means never saying “speaking the truth in love” so that we some sarcastic remarks does not mean that negative things or anything that shows will all be joined together in him (Christ) they are evil. However, the individuals What Cross- disapproval. They want to say only positive so that Christ’s body “builds itself up in making the remarks, as well as teammates, things that show approval. Of course, nearly love, as each part does its work.” must make sure that such remarks are not Cultural Workers everyone wants to be merciful, but we must  In Ephesians 4:29 Paul warns about interfering with ministry to nationals who do remember that God balances mercy and unwholesome talk and about saying “only not understand that they are meant to be Ought to Know justice. what is helpful for building others up humorous, not insulting. They also must according to their needs.” make sure they are not misinterpreted as fact about Sarcasm “Misleading” Cross-Cultural  In Ephesians Paul also warns about by colleagues. Workers filthiness, foolish talk, and crude joking “but instead let there be thanksgiving.” Ronald Koteskey Member Care Consultant Still other cross-cultural workers want Many other passages of Scripture also Ronald L. Koteskey GO InterNational to be liked and “laugh” at the sarcastic admonish us to encourage others. comments. When they do this, they reinforce  Genesis 50:21. Talking with his brothers This brochure is one of a series, and the sarcastic behavior. Individuals making the who had sold him into slavery, Joseph you are invited to suggest other topics you remarks take this as a sign of approval, and “comforted them and spoke kindly to would like to know about to the following: are more likely to make the sarcastic remarks. them.” This means that the sarcastic  In Isaiah 50:4 the prophet wanted to Ronald Koteskey individuals do not get appropriate feedback “know how to sustain with a word him 122 Lowry Lane indicating that what they are doing may be who is weary.” Wilmore, KY 40390 hurting people. Silence gives consent, and  In Colossians 4:5 Paul urged them to “let laughter not only gives consent but also your speech always be gracious,” and in 1 Phone: (859) 858-3436 encourages the behavior. Thessalonians 5:11, he said to “encourage one another and build each other up.” e-mail: [email protected] “Mending” Cross-Cultural Workers Finally, sarcastic individuals can do two things that will help. First, they may stop using such remarks out of concern for making Visit the following web site to access Fortunately some cross-cultural other brochures in the series: workers realize that a good way to help reduce people stumble, either nationals or teammates. In 1 Corinthians 10:22, Paul urged us not to the sarcastic remarks is to talk with the person www.crossculturalworkers.com about such remarks. Unfortunately, most “cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, cross-cultural workers do not like to confront Greeks or the church of God.” GO InterNational other cross-cultural workers and would rather Second, they may ask for feedback put up with something that makes them very periodically to find out how others view them, uncomfortable than confront a colleague. making sure that what they are doing is not David Augsburger titled his book Caring being misinterpreted. We all need people who This brochure may be reproduced without Enough to Confront, emphasizing that care enough to tell us how we are viewed by change and in its entirety for non-commercial confronting another person is a caring thing to others. This often occurs in accountability purposes without permission. do. relationships, but any individual can ask