The Most Fun You Can Have with Your Clothes ON

“The Balancing Act Between Making A Living & Making A Life” By Lynn Fraser

My husband and I had dinner recently with a couple from our meditation circle. Between sips of aromatic chai tea and savory daal, naan bread and tandoori chicken, the evening flew by while we shared about our lives, history, work and travels.

Kevin shared his story. For decades, he would spend 50 hours in the air each month flying across the country and overseas for his consulting business. This was strictly flying time - not counting transportation from home to the airport & to the hotel at his destination, plus waiting for hours in airports. Each month he would log 3000 minutes on his cell phone. He might sleep 3-4 hours per night. Not enough rest nor time for renewal, yet somehow he could keep on going.

What astounded me (even more) is that he would occasionally work straight through the weekend after a full work week. His staff would leave on Friday afternoon and he would dig into writing a report. Monday morning when his staff returned, Kevin had the report done. And he hadn’t slept or eaten the entire weekend. He just drank water while he doggedly completed the client report. (It must have sucked to be his staff; no one could ever complain about how hard they worked…)

Kevin freely admits it now: “Lynn, this is exactly the opposite of life balance.” I asked him what his impetus for change was. “A couple of times in those decades I burned out and then I would take a year off. It would take the full year for me to realize how just how burned out I was. And then I would go back and end up working just as hard. A few years ago, I walked out of the bar after a drink with a client and I was staggering across the lobby. No, it’s not what you think - I’d only had one drink. Since then I’ve turned down lucrative contracts out of the province; I’ll drive, but I don’t want to get on an airplane for work anymore. With help from my partner, I’m building friendships here in Edmonton. As for my health? We’re still diagnosing my balance problems.”

Our Alberta Mantra: More, Bigger, Better Kevin is lucky. Some don’t get a second chance at making a life they desire. They’re taken out of the game of life early by cancer, stroke, heart attack or a drug overdose. Kevin’s story is certainly extreme but not isolated. I hear these stories regularly from audience members, coaching clients, neighbors and even my yoga buddies. We’re in the “Land of Opportunity” here in Alberta and the pace is breathtaking. Spend a night at the Super 8 Motel in Whitecourt (or any major centre in Northern Alberta) and you’ll marvel at the steady flow of truck traffic all night long. Working longer and harder to achieve more, bigger, better appears to be our mantra.

Consistent vs. Sustainable My business success coach, Mark LeBlanc, reminds me that “Consistency trumps Commitment.” Doing our daily high value activities each morning will get us much further than the Big Commitment (think… I’ve gotta make a six-figure income, quit smoking, drinking, lose 40 pounds… You fill in the blank ______) I’m guilty of the Big Commitment in writing long “To Do” lists and then failing to complete them!

Yes, being consistent in our life and work certainly is a step in the right direction. Let’s look at the Merriam Webster dictionary definition: Consistent : adj, always acting or behaving in the same way of the same quality. Kevin’s consistent work habits made him a successful living, yet not a successful life.

As a Practical Life Balance Coach, I prefer a sustainable approach to making a life. According to the Merriam Webster dictionary definition: Sustainable : adj, able to be used without being completely used up or destroyed. Able to last or continue for a long time. Now that Kevin is “making a life” - which includes improving and expanding his relationships, supporting his health with regular self care including daily meditation, plus booking fulfilling, Alberta-based work that has resulted in him being financially better off than when he spent most of his life on planes and in airports - his life is sustainable over the long run. And he’s enjoying himself so much more and has the time and energy to give back to his community. Now isn’t that the point of life after all?

What Can You Do To Make Your Life Sustainable?

“Every day do something that will inch you closer to a better tomorrow.” Doug Firebaugh

Making a sustainable life involves making the choice to intentionally take care of all areas of life each week. This includes your relationships with family and friends, your physical, mental and spiritual health, as well as your financial and career areas of life.  Relationships: Plan to spend quality time with family and friends each week. Edmonton has great river valley trails, restaurants, cafes, festivals and live entertainment. Check out edmontonjournal.com for the Top 10 activities each week. Text or phone a friend and invite them over for a potluck. It can be simple and inexpensive; the idea is to spend quality time connecting. That’s what builds a worthwhile life. Skype or Facetime is a great option for keeping in touch with family back home. Just do it!  Sleep: Sleep 7-8 hours a night. I know: easy to say, not so easy to do. We recharge our brain’s learning capacity at night. Stay away from TV or checking e-mail before bed. Avoid caffeine in the evening. Instead choose herbal teas available all over town at The Tea Girl, Cally’s Teas, David’s Tea or Tea Desire. Check out my psychologist colleague Dr. Don’s articles on sleep, stress and shift work strategies at www.donmelnychuk.com.  Be Active: WWW: Work While Walking. A desk treadmill is an innovative way to keep active while you type. Something even easier and inexpensive? Get up from your desk and stretch every 90 – 120 minutes. I set a timer to remind myself otherwise I forget!  Plan healthy meals and snacks: I found a new healthy eating resource: Pure Prairie Eating Plan www.pureprairie.ca. It helps you enjoy a well-balanced, locally sourced diet while still giving you access to a variety of delicious foods. It provides menus for three meals plus three snacks per day for four weeks. It’s suitable for healthy individuals and families as well as those with diabetes.  Learn and find like-minded people to support you in a daily meditation practice: I mentioned that my husband and I meditate. There are a variety of options in Edmonton. We enjoy Qi Gong with Dr Stephen Aung’s Medical Qi Gong Practise group. Find out more at www.aung.com.  Get sound financial information: I’ve found a sustainable path to achieve your goals without sacrificing your highest priorities begins with tracking where your money is going for a 90-day period. Once you have your numbers to work with, taking an online course or speaking with a credit counselor in person or over the phone for a free or low cost consultation can help you assess how much you really need to live on. Check out www.mymoneycoach.ca or moneymentors.ca

The Gift of Life Balance There’s one thing I bet you’ll find upon reflection: keeping up with the Joneses (or the Kardashians) isn’t delivering the kind of joyful, healthy and sustainable life that you truly desire for yourself and your loved ones. Start by listing who and what you value. Then set SMART: Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Timely goals in one or two areas I’ve touched on. Step-by-step you can achieve a balanced, sustainable life. An accountability buddy or a certified coach can assist you on your journey. The benefits of resilient relationships, improved health and sustainable results in your career and finances most definitely can be measured by the numbers. An even better way though, is when you measure a person around the heart. Just ask Kevin.

Practical Life Balance resource : I have an audio resource for you: Your Pivot Point Strategy: Your Valuable Toolkit For Achieving Practical Life Balance. This CD consists of 11 tracks featuring how to use the strategy in your life; quick, effective strategies for improving your health, career & relationships, as well as innovative Whole Brain Thinking tools to put you in the mindset to achieve your goals. You can download the tracks onto iTunes and your handheld device, and then listen in your car, while you do laundry or on a walk. Order the Audio CD at www.lynnfraser.ca or call my office at 780-465-9893. About the author: Lynn Fraser, of Balance Your World Training & Coaching, coaches and mentors individuals who want to be better leaders as well as live balanced lives. She consults with business managers and their teams to create a system for sustainable results.