Tom Costello: This Is the Healing Codes Question and Answer Teleconference
Total Page：16
File Type：pdf, Size：1020Kb
The Healing Codes 01.29.2009 1 Thursday Night Q&A Tom Costello
Tom Costello: This is The Healing Codes question and answer teleconference. My name is Tom Costello and on behalf of The Healing Codes family I welcome you to the call. Tonight in this hemisphere it is January 29, 2009. Everything on this call is being recorded. This recording is available as a download from our website: thehealingcodes.com.
This Q&A call is one of several ways we support our clients in our use of The Healing Codes so that you can achieve the results you want. I personally think the Personal Coaching that is provided with the standardized Healing Codes package is the most important part. That’s not to say that my group coaching is not good, but the one-on-one Custom Coding is particularly valuable in my opinion.
We’ve got a Clients Only area. It’s for clients, so if you’re not a client please respect this boundary. It requires a user name and password: User Name: healingcodes Password: 12 days
If you have questions about doing The Healing Codes process, that’s what this call is about. We like to validate people for their successes. This is really all about encouragement, removing any kind of hesitancy and having people willing to go full-bore toward what they want and let go of what no longer serves them.
Our disclaimer is that The Healing Codes are not intended to diagnose or treat any physical or mental condition or their symptoms. The Healing Codes deal with issues of the heart and it is on those spiritual issues that we focus our attention. In addition, the opinions I express are my own opinions. If they serve you I’m pleased. If not, if they don’t resonate, just let them go flying by.
I’m going to open the call. If there are any questions, any answers, any comments, any struggles, any success stories I’d be glad to hear them. All you have to do is hit *6 on your telephone, then you will un-mute your telephone and be able to say whatever you want. *6 would also again mute you if you hit it again. Does somebody have something?
Participant: (Lee) I’m on Day 10 of The Healing Codes. I noticed a couple of days ago as I was doing them there is only one position for one of the Codes. As I was listening to the CD, every 30 seconds Dr. Loyd would say the same name. I was wondering if we take our hands away from the position and put it back or why does he keep repeating?
Tom Costello: I’m not certain why he keeps repeating it, but if there is a single position you can make the choice whether to just leave it there and stay exactly in that same position or if it – some people like this idea – you can pull your hands away and immediately put them back. Some people like it because they seem to be able to feel the energy either in their fingertips or at the healing center. It’s kind of like “Ah! Something is going on.” That’s kind of an affirmation or verification that something is happening. The Healing Codes 01.29.2009 2 Thursday Night Q&A Tom Costello
Participant: I definitely feel activation in my fingertips. It helps me sometimes locate the spot where I need to be. I’ll move them around and when it gets stronger I just leave it there.
Tom Costello: That’s a wonderful way to use your innate knowingness. It’s much less about “tell me what the perfect way is. I want to follow the rules.” That’s not what it is. These are the guidelines and you adjust for you. There is an increase of freedom which, to my way of thinking, is a huge factor in happiness and health. You are a decision maker. You are the one who is going to create the result you want, be it physical or anything else, you and your body and this knowingness that you are a exploring. Good for you.
Was there something else, Lee?
Participant: There are lots of things but I’m going to be quiet for a while.
Tom Costello: Nah, you’re here. Let’s deal with a couple more things.
Participant: There is so much information. I was just overwhelmed when I first received this packet to the point that I didn’t even know where to start. I’m doing the basic watered-down version where I’m not thinking anything, the background, the questions and all of that. I’m just focusing on whatever the word is, the virtue of that day and just putting my hands in that position.
The first couple of days I think I went into a major depression. I couldn’t even turn my computer on. I could barely get out of my bed. That’s not like me. Now I’m more joyful. I’m not sure – and I do have the coaching so I’ll talk to my coach next about this I suppose, but where do I go for more questions on -- I guess there are so many ways to do this I am confused overall.
Tom Costello: You’re speaking about being overwhelmed by that package. That’s a fairly common experience. People sometimes insist that it’s going to require them two months before they’re able to do The Healing Codes. That’s how long it’s going to take them to go through all the material.
Whoa! Wait a minute. Here’s a different point of view. Flip to the pictures so you know what the hand positions are. Practice them for 60 seconds. Point at Bridge, Temples, Jaw, Adam’s apple. Once you know what you’re doing there with your fingers more or less 2-3 inches away, flip the page that starts with Day 1, Unforgiveness. Look at the Code and do that. Say any version of a prayer or request, whatever is comfortable for you, and then just begin.
I like this description. In fact I just used it a few minutes ago with a client one-on-one. Imagine that you are filling a tire on your car that has a slow leak. I know how to do that. You have to take off the cap. You hook up the thing and you get the pressure right and The Healing Codes 01.29.2009 3 Thursday Night Q&A Tom Costello then you start pumping air into the tire. Imagine that you are pumping energy, you are directing energy back into the body. You are filling you with energy. Make a determination of what quality of energy you want to fill it with; love, gratitude, joy, forgiveness, being able to see right actions, being able to blow away the dust of unhealthy beliefs that are inaccurate and be able to discern the truth. That’s pretty clear and kind of cool. It’s not hard to do. That’s not a very complicated process that I just expressed.
Later on if you’re interested in introspection, some people want to do that Day 1. “I want to dig around. I want to look for skeletons in the closet.” I’m like that. But a lot of people say, “Just let me get used to this goofy thing of pointing fingertips. That’s a little weird. Let me just get used to that.” Sometimes people go, “I instantly felt something. Just the physical act of doing that was noticeable.” You can approach it like that.
If you want to do introspection because there’s some particular stumbling block that you’ve recognized in your life, go for it. Was that clear?
Participant: Yes.
Tom Costello: I’d like to back up. You started doing the Codes and didn’t turn on your computer. I sometimes describe it this way. I want to clean out my kitchen pantry. The kitchen looks nice. There is no mess or anything. I want to clean out the pantry. Well, now all of a sudden when I start cleaning out the pantry the kitchen is a mess. There are packages put here and different things there. Wow, now this is a mess. I created turmoil. That’s because I happen to be mid-process. Now I can look at expiration dates and stuff and I would get rid of certain things; boxed half open that haven’t been touched in a couple of years. They would be discarded. Now I’d start to restock the pantry. Those things that no longer serve me I would throw away.
Sometimes I see the process like that. We start stirring stuff up and say, “I don’t feel good.” If we’re dealing with chronic illness or weight issues that tends to be more noticeable than for somebody with no weight issues, no chronic illness or no traumatic background, if you will.
Participant: That’s a wonderful analogy. If I’m not choosing something specific, or if I do choose something specific to focus on, let’s say there is a physical injury or issue that I’m working on and I choose to do it for the 12 Days, as I’m working on that are other things being worked on as well or only what I focus on?
Tom Costello: Other things as well. Here’s the way I describe this. Stress equals a perception of threat, based upon a perception of insufficient energy. As you reduce stress in the body and feelings more relaxed, your immune system which under normal circumstances is fully functioning, under stress is lowered in priority. It’s almost as if the body says “Oops, stress is triggered. Fight or flight is a priority. We have to survive the next 30 seconds, 60 seconds, 90 seconds. It’s a very primitive response from a cave man time. When a saber-toothed tiger walks past our cave or dines on one of our neighbors, it goes away and we go back to normal. That whole challenge lasts a very short period of The Healing Codes 01.29.2009 4 Thursday Night Q&A Tom Costello time. During that time we would have hidden in the back of the cave, flight, or climbed a tree, flight, or thrown rocks and sticks at the tiger.
The challenge for us today is the saber-toothed tiger is foreclosures, mortgage, terrorists, global warming, economy, traffic jams, pink slips, reorganizations, baby needs shoes, dental bills, on and on and on and on… It is no longer an issue of 30 seconds, 60 seconds, 90 seconds. It is days, weeks, months and sometimes years. The immune system is turned off or deprioritized during that time. Little maintenance things that the immune system would have handled, “I’m off duty. You have turned me off by getting stressed.” Oh, I didn’t mean to do that. That’s one of the things.
When the stress goes down the body is going to make a determination what to do next whether you know it or not. I tell the story about Ben Johnson. I mentioned this last night on a different call. Ben Johnson, when he started doing The Healing Codes for his Lou Gehrig’s disease, basically an un-curable disease as far as medicine is concerned, he also was suffering from carpal tunnel syndrome. He eliminated the symptoms of Lou Gehrig’s disease long before he every got rid of the symptoms of carpal tunnel syndrome.
You might go, “Good job, body. You prioritized those two activities very well.” What we have going on inside of us is unknown to most of us. We’ve got all kinds of things going. If we are in balance the immune system can go, “I’m going to handle this. I’m going to handle that. I’m going to handle this other thing.” All of it is unbeknownst to us. If you’re helping something you’re helping everything but in an order not determined by us consciously.
However, having said all of that, I personally believe intention, your intention, is huge in the way things go. Intention is a very powerful creative force. If you intend to heal a toe regardless of what else is going on, it’s going to happen.
Participant: All beautifully said. Thank you.
Tom Costello: You’re welcome. Thanks for being on the call. Welcome to The Healing Codes. Somebody else? Questions? Answers? Comments?
Participant: (Gail) I have a request for a Code. This is based on all the results I continue to get from the Custom Codes and The Healing Codes in general for which I am deeply grateful. This request is a commitment to love and goodness. I would like a Custom Code to support that. Most of my life has been spent in flight. I feel that is really being resolved. Now I’ve room to request something greater.
Tom Costello: Love and goodness? Tell me about goodness.
Participant: Well, my last name is Gooden. It’s taken a long time to realize there is good in me. Maybe that’s where part of it comes. I believe good is God and God is good. I’ve had a long history of believing I was bad. That seems to be leaving. And a The Healing Codes 01.29.2009 5 Thursday Night Q&A Tom Costello long history to an addiction to forgiveness. Goodness to me is along the line of the Codes: good enough. Being able to enjoy each moment, every moment has not been a possibility for me. Too much fear of the future. That is one of the reasons so far that I think I’ve chosen. I think I’ve chosen to really believe there is goodness in me.
I remember a coach many years ago who said, “Don’t you see the good you do?” I’ve been attempting to do good since I was about five. I never seem to believe I’ve done enough goodness to the detriment of my health. Somehow I want to believe that there is good in God in me that could let me relax and rest a little bit and still do a lot of service, but to be restored while I’m doing it, especially financially at this point.
Those were surprising answers for me. Thank you.
Tom Costello: You know I’m going to make this hard work for you. This is the challenge I can hear in that. I resonate with it because my background is somewhat similar to yours religiously. I’m trying to qualify by being good enough. Maybe I’ll be admitted to the game of heaven. Maybe the fears will go away if I’m good enough. Maybe I won’t be hurt if I’m good enough. Maybe I won’t be disappointed or frustrated or I will no longer despair or be on the outside looking in if I’m good enough.
Participant: Exactly. So I had thought about what Dr. Alex says, love and truth. As I was debating this with myself earlier I thought I’m really good at helping my clients see truth and daring to show them. But yet I’m now seeing that I’m countering truth by needing to add goodness. If I were to just say, “Commitment to love and truth” that feels a whole lot different and probably more ownership for what I’m wanting to be committed to.
Tom Costello: One other thing I’d like to add is I’d like it to be clear to you, in my opinion, that you are not deficient. You are in an ocean of goodness. You are in an ocean of love. You are in an ocean of truth. You are in an ocean of abundance. There really is no scarcity. What seems to be real for us, and me and lots of other people is that those things that we desire are present, but because we don’t resonate, we don’t vibrate, we don’t align with them, they seem like they’re about a million miles away. In fact they are right where we are at this moment. It is really more like, “Let me adjust my vibration” kind of like one of these old fashioned rabbit ears on top of the TV. You have to adjust it, “How’s the picture?” Adjust it a little bit more. It’s almost like a radio dial. That adjusting us makes that other stuff apparent to us. It’s there like radio or TV waves. I’m not receiving them. I don’t scream at the waves or the transmitting. I have to adjust me.
You’re good enough. Anyone who ever told you or showed you anything to the contrary was in error. The same way with all the rest of us. You help you by working on adjusting the vibration to tune to the truth of this “I am a child of God. How bad can I be? I’m a child of God.” We shouldn’t be thrown in the junk yard if we’re a child of God, obviously. That’s what I would be looking at. Adjust until I know this is so. The Healing Codes 01.29.2009 6 Thursday Night Q&A Tom Costello That’s what I intend to know. Does that sound reasonable? (Tom tests for and delivers Code)
As you tune into this knowingness that you are supported in so many ways by your Creator. This is one of them. Taking time to know that you’re supported by your Creator, in my opinion, is the finest way you can know you’re supported by your Creator. That’s a wonderful way to help yourself.
Participant: That’s wonderful. Thank you.
Tom Costello: Thank you, Gail. Lee, if you hear this and you’re still on the call, maybe you’re interested in a Custom Code after another person or two. If you can frame your focus you are welcome to come back into the queue.
Participant: Great. Thank you.
Tom Costello: Someone else have a question, comment, answer, success story, struggle?
Participant: (Sandy) I could be the previous speaker’s sister. I’m doing what she seems to have come through already. Negativity and always fearing the worst. I’ve been doing the Codes now for probably three and a half weeks. Other than falling asleep I’m not seeing a whole lot of difference yet. I have tried many different modalities over many years. I was brought up in a negative household. That seems to be the comfort zone although it is not comfortable what it produces.
What was the previous speaker’s name?
Tom Costello: Gail
Participant: Gail. When you gave her Custom Code you tested, “I am free of conscious conflict.” How do we become free from conscious conflict?
Tom Costello: Conscious conflict is totally different from subconscious conflict which of course we don’t now we have. Conscious conflict is where a person says something like this story. A guy said “I want a happy, loving marriage. But my mistress and my girlfriend are a little put off by that.”
Hello! Wake up! How is that possible? “I want to go north and I want to go south.” “I want to be honest and I’m embezzling from the bank.” You’ve got a conscious conflict there. We’ve divided against ourselves. We’ve got an intention and got a counter- intention. We tend to be stuck in that. “I want to drive fast.” Is there any reason you have the parking brake on and your car is in Park with your foot on the break?
If you examine what you’re doing you might be able to recognize that. The Healing Codes 01.29.2009 7 Thursday Night Q&A Tom Costello Participant: I know that I believe on one hand in the energy. I know that we are all energy. I strongly believe all of that, but I am torn with what I was brought up with in the church. I start feeling a little bit better and something in me says, “No, you can’t do that.” Is that conscious conflict?
Tom Costello: That’s training. Those tape recordings, those voices, are not you. They are things that you heard, generally speaking, as a child. That’s my opinion. That’s a real good point.
I’m a fan of journaling. I journal every day. I really think it has tremendous value on every single value. The program that I came across it will be five years in March. I was searching on line trying to understand resistance. A person would say to me, “I want to loose weight. Do you have a Twinkie?” What? Wow! How can a person say that almost like it is one sentence? I would find myself, “I want to go north.” I turn around and am going south. What is going on here?
I came across a book called Self Parenting, written by a chiropractor in California, John Pollard. It’s talking about inner conversations. I bought the book. I thought it was fantastic. He wrote it in 1987. He wrote a second book in 1992. I bought that. I think it’s fantastic. He’s got a journaling process in there. The journaling process is designed to help us become our own positive, strong inner parent. It is really about becoming your own positive, strong inner parent.
To just do a commercial for John Pollard, he basically says these voices tend to be: positive inner parent, negative inner parent, positive inner child, negative inner child. This is starting to sound pretty right on to me. And he said what you want to do is be the positive inner parent talking to the positive inner child. That’s a normal relationship. You just respect the inner child in this journaling process.
The negative inner parent – when I voice this in a role play – sounds like “What’s wrong with you? Why haven’t you …? You shouldn’t do that. Again, at your age?” That’s the parenting we heard when we were little kids. A positive inner parent is “Atta girl. Good girl. You can do it. You are just a little smarty pants. I’m so proud of you. You’re fantastic. Atta girl.” Sometimes we got a smattering of that.
When the negative inner parent comes out, so does the negative inner child. The one that was just scolded is sulky, bad attitude, resistant, not going to play, cranky, no fun, beaten up, brow-beaten, feeling bad. The positive inner child would come out and be interested in discovery and fun and learning and pleasing and seeing how wonderful it is.
The inner child, the way John Pollard talks about it, is the source of so much energy.
I had a person send me an e-mail about personal coaching. In his e-mail he mentioned flat-lining. That’s a medical term indicating the line on the oscilloscope when a person is not showing much sign of life. He says that’s what it feels like. To me that is a depressed, unacknowledged or unsupported inner child. We learn when we engage our The Healing Codes 01.29.2009 8 Thursday Night Q&A Tom Costello inner child. The energy of “I can’t wait to see how I can do this so well. I can’t wait to see how I can heal.”
These voices that we hear, to me, are the stuff that we heard before. If we grew up in a negative family we’re going to hear that little thing on my shoulder “No, you can’t do that. Don’t do that.” If you add hell fire and damnation from religious upbringing and stuff it becomes very, very scary.
Whoa! Do over! It’s 2009. I had those experiences when I had them, but I want to decide for myself what life is all about instead of having somebody who made it up way long ago and everybody is repeating it. That happens without considering whether it is true or logical. Being able to hear the voice and recognize it is not yours starts to free you from its power.
I have three children. When the youngest was real little the other two were trying to boss her around. She put her hands on hips and said, “You’re not the boss of me.” I thought that was the most fantastic thing. I go, you know what, that’s what we’d ought to be saying to these voices. We can make our own decision based upon our awareness at this moment and then adjust as we need to.
Does that make any sense?
Participant: It does. I’ve been there. I’ve investigated. I’m going to look into this book. I need something solid to look at to direct me. Yes, it makes a lot of sense.
Tom Costello: If your experience is anything like mine, taking time, 30 minutes a day, in the morning to journal, to discover and listen to and care about oneself will put you in a rare category simply because you take the time to care and listen to yourself. It is fantastic. Every day starts that same way. It makes the rest of the day make so much more sense and be so much more pleasant. If something interferes I become staticy until I can finish that. It’s so important to me.
Participant: I have one other question. Do bad dreams have any place in this? Is this a form of detoxing?
Tom Costello: I would think it is. I suggest that these things are leaving. They are not arriving. It doesn’t necessarily make them very pleasant when they are leaving. Much like being about to throw up, that’s not fun. But right after you have that experience, “Whew, I feel better.” Even though it was unpleasant in process, you will feel better. I think you can be grateful. We’re letting go of what doesn’t belong to us. A lot of adjusting and a great deal of maintenance occurs during sleep. Healing on a lot of levels, organizing experiences, etc. You can say a prayer before you go to bed if you don’t, asking for a beautiful, restful sleep. “Handle the maintenance in the background and let me have a wonderful, peaceful sleep.” Set that intention and it’s easier to achieve.
Participant: Thank you very much, Tom. The Healing Codes 01.29.2009 9 Thursday Night Q&A Tom Costello
Tom Costello: Thank you, Sandy. Someone else with a question, answer, comment, story, situation, need for a Healing Code, desire for a Healing Code?
Let me just hit the pause button for a second and tell you guys just because I want to talk about your situation, doesn’t mean you have to do it. You can do your best Joe Friday imitation “Nothing but the Code, sir, nothing but the Code.” I just give you a Code. The reason I do it is because I find it interesting and also to see if it is applicable to people on the call and people listening to the recording after the fact.
This is more about what you want than about what other people want.
Participant: (Paula) Last week when I was talking to Kaye I was talking about an issue. I was wondering if that Code was still applicable or if since I’ve done some work on it, it needs to be altered?
Tom Costello: It is still applicable. Have you noticed anything?
Participant: I think I’ve been having a lot of dreams. Actually even before this Code I have been lighter in my mood. I did a little bit of a crash right after the holidays. I picked right back up. It’s weird. We’ve got one of the worst winters we’ve ever had in Michigan. I’m not morbidly depressed like I usually am. I’m really in pretty good spirits.
Tom Costello: Can I paraphrase my youngest child?
Participant: Sure
Tom Costello: “The weather is not the boss of you.”
Participant: I love that. It’s all a matter of perception. I don’t think the maker would have made this unless it was necessary. A lot of times people think we got this season by default or something was bad and that’s why we got the seasons. It’s a bad season or something. Sometimes I really don’t like winter to be over. There is something really nice about the solitude, the time of reflection.
Tom Costello: Turning inward. Yep.
Participant: The snow is blanketing everything. We don’t have grey grass. It’s all covered with pristine white. We get another coating which freshens that up. There are hardships for some people.
Tom Costello: What’s that got to do with you?
Participant: I was just saying there is quite a bit of beauty if you just look at it. The Healing Codes 01.29.2009 10 Thursday Night Q&A Tom Costello Tom Costello: We had this conversation fairly regularly, you and I. People go to the gym to find resistance so they can build strength. Hardship in the warm weather, cold weather, wet weather, dry weather is an opportunity to build strength. Just like a person can go to the gym and swear at the equipment and the people who invented it, he could also look at it as a great opportunity of self-development. That’s the same as we can do with the climate where we live. It’s an opportunity to build strength. It’s an opportunity to love. It’s an opportunity to admire life.
The tremendous variety is what makes it so interesting. Somebody says, “I don’t want all this variety.” I say, choose the weather you want. “Sunny and 72.” Okay, but along with that comes eating the same thing every meal. You have to have the same conversations all the time with the same people. “Wait. Hold on! Bring on the snow and storms and whatever.” We want the variety. It’s much more exciting.
Participant: I guess it gives us a chance to wear different clothes. It’s a challenge and gives us a chance to be creative again. I still have my Christmas tree lights on. I put the tree outside instead of bringing it in the house. All the neighbors are still raving about it. It’s so pretty.
Tom Costello: There’s a good purpose. Be a source of light for yourself and others. That’s a good intention.
Participant: The man who is plowing the snow I asked, “Are you going to be plowing in our neighborhood?” He said, “No, I plow over here. Where do you live?” I told him and he said, “Oh, are you the one with that tree, that blue tree. I love that tree. I’ve been trying to find lights like that.” I didn’t know how many people are affected by the deep sapphire blue tree.
Tom Costello: No, no. Try this interpretation. You didn’t know how many people were impacted by Light as well as light. Your tree, that spirit, is really light in a couple of different forms.
Participant: I love that. I put it on a timer so that even when people go to work in the morning they can see it. This my gift to you to brighten you. Now I’m going to think that it’s my heart light being demonstrated.
Tom Costello: You want those people on their way to work or on their way home to see that light and feel good. That’s the whole point. That’s fabulous.
Participant: Great. That’s fun.
Tom Costello: It is. Good. Let me see if there are any questions, Paula. Thank you.
Participant: (Beth Ann) I have a request for a Code. I happened to see on my brother’s desk where I work a want ad for a person who could become a part-timer or replace me eventually. I got a little freaked out about this. I did some Codes about it this morning. The Healing Codes 01.29.2009 11 Thursday Night Q&A Tom Costello At first I did the one on anger. I got my anger to go down from 8 to 0. I threw in there my fear of being fired or eased out. Then I got that I should work on the Code for pride. I got the pride to go down from about a 10 to a 6. At the moment I’ve got about a 6 going on with pride and a fear of 4. I feel a whole lot better tonight than I did last night about the whole thing.
I don’t know exactly what’s going on between us. In the ad that he wrote was that he wanted to pay someone about 20% less than he’s paying me. It could be just a cost- cutting move. That’s his prerogative. It might be some subconscious stuff from childhood. I’m 13 months older than he is. I was always the bossy older sister. Now he’s my boss. I suspect there might be some of that stuff to be cleaned up. I’m not sure what happened and am not clear about the whole thing. I’m not released on it either.
Tom Costello: You’re also not certain that this is a replacement for you.
Participant: The ad was written for part-time which could become full time. I don’t know if he would want me to train that person. I work as an independent contractor. I don’t have any benefits and could not file for unemployment. I’m there at his grace and his mercy. I’d like to stay there for a while rather than go look for something else.
I’d like to keep my job, be happier about it and more grateful for it. I’ve got a lot of that part handled. I saw a lot of ways I could be more grateful and appreciative of him and people I work with. That cleared a lot when I worked on anger. I suspect there’s some other stuff a Custom Code could help me with.
Tom Costello: The fear of being fired means a job disappears. That’s happening all over the world and that’s a fairly common thing. But if you were fired, what does that say about you?
Participant: That I created this. I’m not sure why. I didn’t contribute to my brother’s company the way he wanted me to contribute. I didn’t create being of sufficient value to his company enough that he wanted to keep me there. I don’t know if he’s going to go through with it and run it. He does a lot of stuff like this sometimes. Maybe this piece of paper was just something I saw. Just in case it’s for real I’d like to create a miracle here and keep the job.
Tom Costello: This fear also hinges on somebody saying to you “You’re not valuable. You’re not worth X. You may be worth 80% of X, but you’re not worth X.” I could say we’re talking about a self worth issue, or somebody else’s view of your worth.
Participant: Right.
Tom Costello: The idea that somebody is going to tell you “You’re not worth….” Everything after that you don’t even hear. It’s just “You’re not worth….” The fact is you are worth. Whether a person makes a business decision that he can no longer afford The Healing Codes 01.29.2009 12 Thursday Night Q&A Tom Costello somebody at X and can only afford 80% of X, that’s has nothing to do with you in terms of worth.
From my point of view, being in management for years and years both in the military as well as in Fortune 500 and smaller businesses, if somebody is not producing that is a management problem. That is not an employee problem. “I wanted to blame everybody else.” No kidding. That’s what a lot of people want to do, but that’s not a solution to the problem. It’s taking responsibility as a manager to have a person contribute more of their energy to the business. If somebody had a management problem and turned around and pointed the finger at you, this falls into the category of “management by disapproval.”
“The business is struggling. It must be your fault.” I’m not the manger. I’m not the boss. I’m not making the decisions. It’s a lot easier delivering static to people than it is to find solutions. But I wouldn’t go that far.
I wouldn’t go that far. I would back up to the fact that this may be just an incredible blessing. I’m going to tell you, Beth Ann, that you are amazingly worthy. You are full of worth. You are worthy and you are full of worth. You might take a little adjusting to accept that totally. Now when you show up to work, bring your worthiness with you. Instead of leaving your worthfulness back home, in the car, on another project, bring it to the office with you. Devote your energy to this business.
Then it becomes very clear that you are showing up with a boat load of worth. Number one it will be way more fun for you. You’ll be applying yourself. Being effective in applying yourself is a joyful experience. Then anybody around is going to go, “Who is this elegant operator?” I’m not talking brute force here. You can put the buttons and make such good stuff happen. Now you’re engaged in something different because you’re really showing up.
Let me just belabor this a little bit more. I’ve been talking recently because of experiences of certain clients about getting into the body. It’s as if their body is here and they are just off to the side. They only have one leg into their body or one arm. They’re not fully occupying their body. It’s almost like a car. You’ve got one foot in the car and one on the ground and one hand on the steering wheel and one on the window and the door is open. That person is not driving the vehicle very effectively. I think the same thing pertains to fully occupying our own bodies.
The body I’m talking about is your physical body. Then there is a different body. It’s your work environment. Are you occupying your desk? Yes. That’s your body. Are you occupying your car? Yes. That’s your body. Are you occupying your home? Yes. That’s your body.
I want to be wherever my physicality is. I want my physical body to be there and I want my energy there as well. Now people are noticing. The average person will think you did something to your hair or you went on vacation or you dropped a few pounds or got a new outfit. Really what they’re talking about is they are noticing your presence. You are The Healing Codes 01.29.2009 13 Thursday Night Q&A Tom Costello present. People don’t recognize that type of languaging, but that’s what they are really saying.
Then it becomes almost immaterial whether first base remains your home or not. If first base is no longer your home because there’s a runner (this is probably not as valuable for those outside the US who would not think in terms of baseball) coming from home plate to first base, you go “Okay. I’m going to scamper to second base. Wow. If they didn’t help me leave first base I’d still be on first base. Actually I want to get around the bases. I want to go to second and then third and I want to score. I want to achieve my goals.” The worst case is they’re going to help me and the best case is I’m going to help myself. It’s like it is hard finding the downside here.
That’s what I would be thinking in terms of. It’s going to be miraculous if you stay and it’s going to be miraculous if you go. But the real order is not about staying or going. The real issue is about really showing up with all of our prodigious energy and awareness and intelligence….
Participant: It sounds great.
Tom Costello: (Tom tests for Code) I just heard “level of commitment.” Throw yourself into this. (Tom delivers Code)
Participant: Thank you so much. I feel a little better already.
Tom Costello: I’m pleased for you. Thank you, Beth Ann. Someone else with an answer, a question, a comment, a situation?
I think the idea about getting into the body is a very important one. I think a lot of us have experienced ambivalence on the part of our birth parents, ambivalence on our own part “Do I want to take occupancy in this vehicle?” Especially if they promise a real, bumpy, scary, painful, horrifying, sometimes fun sometimes exciting, shocking trip? Wow!
From a health standpoint, if we’ve had physical impact or emotional impact or abuse issues, that can scare us partially out of the body. If it works for you as a set of images just think, “I could definitely drive my body better if I’m fully into it rather than standing off to the side or only tangentially connected to it.” The body is more than just a vehicle. It is more than an unbelievably miraculous piece of equipment; self repairing, growing, developing, does all the things it can do. It, on a spiritual level or even a religious level, is a temple of the Living God. That’s a pretty common concept in a lot of holy books. It’s a temple. If we were in charge of a temple, “I think I’ll mow the lawn. I think I’ll take care of this. I think I’ll sweep the place up. I think I’ll keep it tidy. I think I’ll nourish and care for and maintain it.”
For some people a body has been told to us that it is a problem. The physical body is a problem as we’ve been taught. A body has urges. You’re going to have human urges. The Healing Codes 01.29.2009 14 Thursday Night Q&A Tom Costello You're going to have emotions. You’re going to have feelings. You’d better get your body in a head lock and control it or else you might do something bad.
It might pay to rethink that. Let me just check it out and see if it makes sense. The people who have road rage are not people who are ineffective at their emotions that day; they’ve been taught to ignore their feelings for a long period of time. Straw on the camel’s back, another straw, and another straw for years and years. The last straw is somebody pulled his car in front of me. That pretty much explains why I have to get a gun and start shooting. It’s weird as a single event, but if you think in terms of a pressure cooker with no legitimate outlet for that build up of emotion “Don’t feel that.”
We’ve all heard that as kids, I bet. We fall and scrape our knee. “Don’t cry. That didn’t hurt.” If we were aware enough as kids we probably would have gotten some more pain. “Hold on a second. Wasn’t I the one who just fell off the bike and scraped? Isn’t this my knee? You are standing there and telling me not to cry and it doesn’t hurt. You have denied your own feelings and now you want to coach me into denying my feelings? It doesn’t seem to have worked for you, but you are coaching me to deny my own humanity, the way I was designed?” It’s the idea of self acceptance.
Years ago I worked for the Dale Carnegie Course. This is in the late 70’s. There was a beautiful woman. A whole group of her company personnel were taking the Dale Carnegie Course. I was a graduate assistant. One of her talks was to explain why she trembled at the least bit of attention. She said, “We had mirrors in our house, but they had cloth over them because my parents didn’t want us to be conceited. We were not allowed to look at ourselves. We were told to deny what we look like. Although years later I recognized I was a pretty good looking woman, we weren’t allowed to look at ourselves.”
The denial of that beauty, of that potential, of all that woman could have been, that child could have been because of some conceit? That’s a huge sin? I didn’t get it then and I don’t get it now. I just felt terrible for her. She was blossoming. She was getting a new idea about that whole process. It’s remarkable to see a bird or a flower that looked like it hadn’t had water, kind of leaning over, limp. Suddenly as if she were getting water she started to stand up straight, perk up and shine brightly. Probably like Paula’s lights, that bright beacon of light was beaming to her and through her. She was stepping into her power. Her power didn’t originate from her, but from her Source. I could hear there was a spiritual connection there. That’s a nice thing to be a witness to. Self acceptance. Given a chance we will do the right thing. I don’t think we need to get ourselves in a head lock.
Anybody else have a question or answer? I have come to the end, for me, of jibber- jabbering.
I want to thank you folks for being on the call this evening. We, individually, are just like Paula’s lights. We can shine every season. We can beam thoughts of love. We can do Codes on ourselves and for others. If we do them on ourselves our light, the light The Healing Codes 01.29.2009 15 Thursday Night Q&A Tom Costello within becomes brighter and brighter. Other people are encouraged by that. They are reassured by that. They feel safer by virtue of that. We set good examples for them. The whole world benefits.
Speaking in spiritual terms I think we honor our Source by allowing God to shine to us and through us. This is a great tool to facilitate that.
Thank you, folks for being on the call. God bless you.