PROCEDURES FOR HAVING A WEDDING SERVICE St. Paul United Church of Christ 165 Toussaint Street Oak Harbor, Ohio 43449 Church phone: (419) 898-0852

Rev. David A. Voll, Senior Pastor Email - [email protected]

Rev. Kyle Timmons, Associate Pastor Email - [email protected] PROCEDURES FOR THE WEDDING SERVICE St. Paul United Church of Christ 165 Toussaint Street Oak Harbor, Ohio 43449 Church phone: (419) 898-0852 Rev. David A. Voll, Senior Pastor – Email: [email protected] Pastor Kyle Timmons, Pastoral Assistant – Email: [email protected]

The information contained in these pages should answer many of your questions relating to the marriage service. Read it carefully, and, if you have any further questions, feel free to contact one of the ministers. Your marriage is a significant event. Both of you are making a life commitment to love, honor and cherish each other. By having your marriage consecrated in the church, you are asking God and the Christian community to witness your vows and affirm your union. The Service of Marriage is set in the context of worship and therefore is God-directed and Christ-centered. Keeping this clearly in mind will, perhaps, answer many of your questions relating to the spirit and the content of the service.

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ARRANGEMENTS BEFORE THE WEDDING 1. Make early arrangements for the date of your wedding with one of the pastors to be sure of the availability of the church and one of the pastors. The church facilities will be reserved in the order requested, with precedence given to active church members. 2. Our sanctuary and balcony seat 350-375 people comfortably. 3. A white runner for the center aisle may be used if you choose and is your responsibility to arrange for its purchase and installation. An aisle runner for the Sanctuary would need to be 75 feet long. 4. The wedding service will take approximately 30 minutes, depending upon the number and length of solos/songs selected. ARRANGEMENTS BEFORE THE WEDDING (continued) 5. Once you’ve finalized with one of the pastors your wedding date, you will be expected to have at least three meetings with that pastor before the wedding. The purpose of such conferences is to discuss and plan your wedding service and to exchange views on marriage and its Christian implications. It is your responsibility to contact the pastor three months prior to the wedding to schedule your first meeting. 6. No wedding shall be scheduled during Holy Week or on Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, or Thanksgiving Day. 7. You are responsible for securing a marriage license from the County Clerk’s office. The license should be given to the minister at the final meeting with him before the wedding. 8. Candles: You are invited to use our two candelabras and our two altar candles. You may also use, at no charge, our single candelabras that attach to the end of the pews. If you would like to use these, let the pastor know so timely arrangements can be made. You may supply additional candles or candelabras at your expense. Dripless candles must be used. If lengthy pictures will be taken prior to the service, you may wish to have two sets of the extra candles for these additional candle holders – one set to be lit during photos and a “fresh” set to be lit for the service. 9. NO FLASH PICTURES are to be taken during the wedding service. Your official photographer may take photos in or near the center aisle as the bridal party enters and leaves the sanctuary. Time exposures from the back of the sanctuary are permitted during the service. After the service, pictures of any type are allowed in the sanctuary. The minister will be available afterwards to re-enact portions of the service for pictures. 10. Video taping of the service is allowed, using the following guidelines:  Video cameras are allowed in the balcony, transepts, or rear of the sanctuary.  Video cameras are allowed near the front only upon discussing with the minister.  Persons seated in pews are asked not to operate a video camera during the service. They should move to the back of the sanctuary.  Wireless lapel microphones are permitted to be worn by the groom, bride, or minister – granted that they are as unobtrusive as possible. 11. You may choose to have a receiving line at the church after the service; plan on it taking about 15 minutes per 100 people. Another popular option is to have the bride and groom re-enter the sanctuary to greet guests at their pews as they’re dismissed. ARRANGEMENTS BEFORE THE WEDDING (continued)

12. Children may be attendants in the bridal party. Please use discretion in selecting children of sufficient age who can follow instructions and not distract from the service. 13. Flowers: A “long and low” arrangement on the altar can be re-used as the head table's centerpiece at the reception, or you may furnish vases to the florist to make matching altar arrangements. You are invited, if you choose, to leave these vases in church to be enjoyed at Sunday worship. Please contact the church office about this so we may coordinate your desires with the Flower Calendar. 14. If you desire to use a Unity Candle during the Wedding Service, you are responsible for purchasing the Unity Candle itself, as well as the two individual side candles that accompany it. You may wish to purchase a Unity Candle Set from a florist, Christian bookstore, or card shop; or you may buy a pillar candle (8"-10" tall) and two matching dinner tapers (6"-8"). 15. Our church welcomes the use of wedding bulletins as a way of helping wedding guests participate more fully in the Wedding Service. Should you desire to use them, you may create your own or have them printed in the church office. If it is the latter, you will be responsible for the purchase of the blank bulletins. The typing and printing will be done as part of the church’s service to the bridal couple. Please consult with the pastor a few days before your wedding to proofread your bulletin. Please consult with the pastor before purchasing the wedding bulletins. 16. You are invited to ask a lay reader or readers to participate in the Wedding Service by reading Scriptures. A person who has a special relationship with the wedding couple and is comfortable speaking in public is a sensible choice. 17. A wedding hostess will be supplied by the church to be present a minimum of 30 minutes before and during the wedding to assist the pastor in making sure everything runs smoothly. The fee for the wedding hostess is listed elsewhere in this booklet. 18. If special decorations are to be used on the center aisle at the ends of pews, no tape is to be used in securing them. We suggest that padded hardware, ribbon, or rubber bands be used instead. Florists should be informed of these details and also instructed to use only dripless candles, if candles are to be used. 19. If you would like the pastor(s) and spouse to attend the Rehearsal Dinner and/or the Reception, please extend a verbal or written invitation to them well before the wedding. WEDDING MUSIC: Organist, Pianist, Soloist, Instrumental 1. Music is an integral part of the Christian Wedding Service; and since it is set in the context of worship, all musical selections should reflect and enhance the mood and meaning of the service in an atmosphere of praise, prayer, joy and/or tenderness. Please bear this in mind as you choose appropriate music in consultation with the minister. 2. An organist or pianist from St. Paul should be available for most weddings. It is suggested that you begin the process of choosing an organist/pianist at least six months before the wedding. Please speak with the pastor about this; also consult with him if you do not intend to use an organist/pianist at all or not one from our church. 3. A soloist and/or instrumental music is permissible and encouraged; but arrangements for such should be made in close consultation with the minister and with the organist/pianist, if necessary. 4. Any special music you request must be purchased by you and in the hands of the organist/pianist in sufficient time prior to the wedding. 5. Assistance is available in securing a soloist and/or instrumentalist. The fee for this “special music” is set by the person or persons involved. It’s customary for you to pay for and/or provide any special sheet music for these individuals. The church’s sound system can accommodate CD accompaniment. 6. A sound technician will be furnished by the church, if necessary, for a slight fee.

THE REHEARSAL 1. If there are attendants other than just a best man and maid of honor, a rehearsal is usually necessary. 2. The rehearsal is usually held the evening before the wedding. Plan on it taking one hour. Please consult with the minister in scheduling a time. 3. Promptness on the part of rehearsal participants is appreciated. 4. Please do your best to have ALL involved people at the rehearsal, including parents and ushers.

OFF-SITE WEDDINGS If your wedding is being held off-site, paying mileage for the minister is appropriate. FEE SCHEDULE Because of the often hurried schedule of the wedding weekend, it is requested that all fees for the musicians, sound technician, custodian, wedding hostess, minister, and church facilities be paid at your final meeting with the minister. You may pay each of these fees separately to the individuals involved, or you may use one check for all fees. Please consult with the minister as to which option you will use.

THE FEES Member Non-Member Non-Member Child of Member SANCTUARY No charge No charge $ 250.00 LARGE SOCIAL HALL/KITCHEN No charge No charge $ 100.00 SMALL SOCIAL HALL/KITCHEN No charge No charge $ 50.00 CUSTODIAN – SANCTUARY $ 50.00 $ 50.00 $ 50.00 LARGE SOCIAL HALL $ 25.00 $ 25.00 $ 25.00 SMALL SOCIAL HALL $ 25.00 $ 25.00 $ 25.00 SOUND TECHNICIAN Varies Varies Varies ORGANIST/PIANIST Varies Varies Varies WEDDING HOSTESS Varies $ 40.00 $ 40.00 MINISTER No charge $ 175.00 $ 175.00

THE WEDDING DAY 1. Ushers should arrive at the church at least 30 minutes before the start of the service. 2. The bridal party should arrive at the church 30 minutes before the service is to begin, unless the bride and her attendants are to dress at the church or unless pictures are to be taken before the service, in which case the bridal couple may set an appropriate time. 3. All participants in the wedding service are urged to be punctual since it is the custom of our church to begin all services promptly at the time scheduled. Delays can work a hardship on wedding participants who may have other commitments afterward, as well as being an annoyance to the guests in attendance. 4. No smoking or alcohol is allowed in the church. Alcohol is not allowed on church property. If it is apparent that bridal party and/or family members have consumed alcohol in excess prior to their arrival at the church, they will be asked to leave. THE WEDDING DAY (continued) 5. The throwing of birdseed or rice is not allowed after the wedding service. 6. The church will provide a custodian to take care of setting up anything necessary prior to the wedding and extra cleaning and straightening up following the wedding service. The fee for the custodian is listed elsewhere in this booklet. 7. If food is to be brought into the church for the bridal party prior to the wedding, please do not bring food into the Bride’s Room – instead use a table outside the door of the Bride’s Room. Food may be brought into the Groom’s Room.

PLANNING TO USE THE CHURCH FOR THE RECEPTION? 1. A listing of guidelines for the use of the kitchen and the Social Halls will be provided by the Church Office. The fees for the use of these parts of the facility are listed elsewhere in this pamphlet.

2. No alcohol may be served on church premises.

A FINAL NOTE: There are so many things to do when you plan a wedding – so many details. Don’t get so caught up in them that you forget that the wedding service is the high point of the day. It’s a celebration of love – God’s love and the love that you as bride and groom have found in each other. Enjoy your day; enjoy your love; and enjoy God’s richest blessings in your life together!

(7/2006; revised 1/2010 and 8/2012; 2/2013 qnd 6/2013) SCRIPTURES APPROPRIATE FOR WEDDING SERVICES I. Old Testament Genesis 2:18-25 -- The institution of marriage Ruth 1:16-17 -- Classic words of devotion Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 – Two are better than one II. New Testament A. From the Epistles: Romans 12:1-3, 9-13 -- A message on love *I Corinthians 13 -- Paul's classic chapter on love Ephesians 4:1-6 -- The characteristics of unity Ephesians 5:25-32 -- Relationship between Christ, bride & groom Colossians 3:12-17 -- Virtues that hold a marriage together I John 4:7-16, 19 -- God's love and ours B. From the Gospels: Matthew 5:2-9 -- The Beatitudes Matthew 7:24-27 -- The wise and foolish builders Matthew 19:4-6 or Mark 10:6-9 -- Jesus' teaching on marriage John 2:1-11 -- Jesus' miracle at the Wedding Feast in Cana

CONGREGATIONAL HYMNS FOR WEDDING SERVICES For The Beauty Of The Earth Happy The Home When God Is There Joyful, Joyful, We Adore Thee Love Divine, All Loves Excelling Now Thank We All Our God O Perfect Love Praise To The Lord, The Almighty The Bond Of Love They'll Know We Are Christians By Our Love Great Is Thy Faithfulness

(The following is the typical wedding service currently used. The pastor has examples of other prayers, vows, and worship inclusions that the wedding couple may also find meaningful.)

WEDDING SERVICE

PRELUDE

OPENING SENTENCES On behalf of ______and ______, I welcome you! We're gathered here today as friends and loved ones, in the beauty of this Chapel/Sanctuary and in the presence of God, to join ______and ______in holy marriage. We’re here to celebrate the love that they’ve found in each other, and to affirm that this love has the power to transform lives and create something new. Marriage is a gift of God, established by Him so that men and women might find fulfillment and joy through sharing each other's lives in the spirit of genuine love. This is a solemn occasion, because we're serious about what we're doing here; but it's also a festive occasion, as we share their joy, and as we give witness to the kind of love and friendship worth celebrating. Surely God is here, smiling down on your open hearts and willing spirits. It is in His name that we gather and offer praise for the love you wish to declare formally in the sacred covenant of marriage.

PRESENTATION OF THE BRIDE Who gives ______to be married to ______?

PRAYER FOR GOD'S GUIDANCE: O God, Who gives us the longing for love and the capability of loving: Thank You for ______and ______, and for the example of love they're showing us today. We ask Your guidance upon them as they declare their love for each other and promise to live together as husband and wife. Be with us in this wedding service, that what we say and do may give You honor and accurately mirror Your love for us. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen. (SOLO OR SPECIAL MUSIC)

SCRIPTURE READINGS (Appropriate Scripture readings are suggested elsewhere in this booklet.) (The wedding couple may choose Lay Readers for the Scripture readings.)

WEDDING MEDITATION AND CANDLELIGHTING (The meditation is a short sermonette or message by the Pastor; the candlelighting refers to the lighting of the Unity Candle, which may take place during the Pastor's meditation or immediately following.)

DECLARATION OF INTENT (To Groom) Now that you have heard the high calling of marriage, do you, ______, choose ______to be your honored and cherished wife, to live with her now and forever? If so, answer “I do”.

(To Bride) Now that you have heard the high calling of marriage, do you, ______, choose ______to be your honored and cherished husband, to live with him now and forever? If so, answer “I do”.

VOWS OF FAITHFULNESS Having expressed their desire to enter this covenant of marriage, sharing all the joys and sorrows of this new relationship, whatever the future may hold, let us pray for ______and ______as they make their vows: Our Father, as ______and ______pledge themselves to each other, help them and bless them; that their love may be pure, and their vows may be true; thru Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

(Groom repeats) ______, I give myself to you, to be your husband. I promise to love and sustain you, in the covenant of marriage, in sickness and in health, in plenty and in want, in joy and in sorrow. I promise to trust you, respect and forgive you, and seek with you, God's will for our lives; till death shall part us, according to God's holy law.

(Bride repeats) ______, I give myself to you, to be your wife. I promise to love and sustain you, in the covenant of marriage, in sickness and in health, in plenty and in want, in joy and in sorrow. I promise to trust you, respect and forgive you, and seek with you, God's will for our lives; till death shall part us, according to God's holy law. (SOLO OR SPECIAL MUSIC)

EXCHANGE OF RINGS I now invite you to exchange wedding rings - fitting symbols of love to wear and to cherish. May they remind you of unending love - both God’s and yours - and of the promises you’ve made to each other here today. (to be promised by each as the ring is given...) I give you this ring, as a symbol of my love and faithfulness, and of the covenant made today between us. In the name of the Father, of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Blessing: May God bless you in having given and received these rings, and may they be a continual reminder of His encircling love and grace, and a reminder of your love for Him and for each other. Amen.

PRONOUNCEMENT OF MARRIAGE: ______and ______, you have committed yourselves to each other in this joyous and sacred covenant, and have done so before God and before us as witnesses. By their promises made before me today, I pronounce that ______and ______are husband and wife. Those whom God has joined together, let no person separate.

PRAYER OF BLESSING Gracious God, we thank You for Your tender love, and for the gift of love that ______and ______have found in each other. Be generous with Your blessings upon them, Lord, so that as the years of life roll by, they may keep their promises and stand by one another as fine examples of love. Give them a sense of joy and excitement about what they've begun here. And hold them always in the palm of Your hand as they live and love together in holy marriage. In the name of Jesus Christ, Your greatest example of love. Amen.

(SOLO OR SPECIAL MUSIC) BENEDICTION: I send you forth now as husband and wife with the grace of Christ, with the love of God, and with the blessing of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

PRESENTATION OF BRIDE AND GROOM Ladies and gentlemen, friends and family members: It gives me great pleasure to introduce to you (for the first time) Mr. and Mrs. ______I invite you to seal your vows with a kiss.

SEALING OF VOWS WITH A KISS