Today You Hear the Term SUPER-MOM Referenced for This Generation of Mothers Today

Titus 2:3-5 What makes a mother?

I. The importance of mothers

Turn to Titus 2:3-5. As you turn there, I need to talk to you women. I really need to talk to all of you for a second. As a pastor I have a host of responsibilities. As a preacher I have a few very important ones. I am to, as I said in the last newsletter, prick your hearts, call you to righteousness, and point you to Christ. I think I do an okay job at pricking your hearts. Many of you tell me you are convicted of your sin pretty badly. I think I do an okay job at calling you to be righteous. In fact, if my sermons are anything they are idealistic calls to action. I think also that I do an okay job pointing us to Christ. Since John Volentine made it possible to podcast our sermons I have been listening to them a lot. I have been listening to see if I have done these things and all but a couple of my sermons had Christ as the predominant theme—even throughout the Exodus series.

What I have failed to do adequately is tell you guys that I love you. I have failed to tell you that I am proud of you. For that I am sorry. I still plan to prick your conscience and call you to repentance. But what I intend to work on better is connecting that to Christ. What I want to remind you is that you will never live up to my rhetoric. We are going to try to get there, but in the end, we will not make it. That is where Christ comes in. It is his righteousness that we must emphasize.

So Mothers especially today. I am going to call you to be kind and self controlled and pure and keepers of the home. I am going to call you to a kind of selflessness that I fully expect you to be. And a kind of selflessness that I know you cant be. Please, as we look at this text, don’t only think about how you are not this kind of mother and how you cant be this kind of mother, but remember with gratitude that while you and I fail, we have a great High Priest, an advocate who intercedes for us. I am not here to make you feel guilty. You are guilty as we all are, but I want to be known for offering hope too.

So I want to start off with that because I know this sermon tends to set a very high bar. Remember when you cant reach the bar, that he did already.

Titus 2:4-5 Pray

Have you ever looked at the responsibilities of the average mom? This year, Salaray.com surveyed 18,000 stay-at-home moms to list their job titles and daily duties. Based on a 40 hour work week and a 60 hour overtime, the average mom would make nearly 117,000. You can actually go online and figure out your exact salary—how many hours you are a van-driver, and a launderer and a house cleaner and a school teacher and an administrative assistant and a research analyst etc.

Seeing what my wife does I have to be honest with you. I was kind of shocked . . . at how low this salary was. What moms do is nothing less than the job of a super-hero.

Faster than a speeding toddler. More powerful than a cocky teenager. Able to leap roller blades and hockey sticks in a single bound! LOOK up on that ladder. Is it dad changing a light bulb??? Is it a workman painting the ceiling??? NO! It is Super Mom sorting through the laundry pile that has accumulated over the weekend!

Strange alien to a lazy teen, she hustles through the house with power and authority far beyond that of mortal man. Well any man for that matter. Yes, it is SUPER MOM!! Who disguised as a totally weird creature who never was a kid herself fights for truth, justice, and time alone in the bathroom.

I hope no one here looks down on moms. It’s a nearly impossible job with little to no appreciation given to it. And if you have something to say about moms, you have to take it up with me.

So I began to ask myself, “what exactly is the job of a mother?” I asked myself further, what was the role of a younger woman in general? I asked this because I honestly am not sure I know the answer. I have grown up in the same generation as many of you and I have this sneaky suspicion that I have been lied to constantly.

The TV and magazines have made it quite clear that the role of men and women isn’t that different. Women are told to make it on their own and never to rely on a man. “Mere” Housewives are ignored at best and at worst openly mocked. The idea that they should love their husband and love their children is only legitimate if it also coincides with their dreams and doesn’t denigrate them in any way. Women of today have become just as selfish and egotistical as the men have been for centuries. What a great way to honor women and mothers huh? Call them selfish and egotistical?

II. What it all boils down to: Selflessness

But I don’t care much about what the culture feeds me. I want to know what God expects of my mother and my wife and each of you out there from age 9 to 99. What does God expect for you? I think I understand. I think Titus 2 is a great example of a woman and I think it translates in today’s world to this: He expects a selfless servant. He expects you to put others first and to be self-controlled and kind and good and loving, and never ever to make the faith look bad. That is a young woman’s job. So young women, listen up. This is God’s call to you. Just in case some of you non-young women are starting to settle down for a nap, knowing this is not about you, let me tell you what your task is as well. I think God expects you to self-controlled, kind, good, loving, and never ever to make the faith look bad. These characteristics should be what we are all striving for. But there are a couple of distinctives too.

Last week I told you with all the passion I could muster that perhaps a mother’s number one task is to love her children’s father. I didn’t claim that was easy. In fact, I know it is hard because some of you women married men like me. And we are selfish and ignorant and uncaring and just plain sinful. Some of you women are no longer married to your children’s father and I hope

2 3 you know that while that is not ideal, God is gracious and loving and has plans for you with the man you are now with or a future man or even with no man at all.

But I don’t want to diminish the fact that you must love and be subject to your husband. But today I want to emphasize these others. Purity, kindness, controlled, keepers of the home, loving children.

To start that off, let me introduce you to one of my heroines? Her name is Sally Pierpont. You perhaps know her better as Sarah Edwards. The wife of Jonathan Edwards. I want to share several things about her but first some words by Jonathan Edwards himself when hearing of her reputation.

They say there is a young lady in {New Haven} who is loved of that Great Being, who made and rules the world, and that there are certain seasons in which this Great being, in some way or other invisible, comes to her and fills her mind with exceeding sweet delight; and that she hardly cares for any thing, except to meditate on Him. . . . {Y}ou could not persuade her to do anything wrong or sinful, if you would give her all the world, lest she should offend this Great Being. She is of a wonderful sweetness, calmness, and universal benevolence of mind; especially after this Great God has manifested himself to her mind. She will sometimes go about from place to place, singing sweetly; and seems to be always full of joy and pleasure. . . .She loves to be alone, walking in the fields and groves, and seems to have someone invisible always conversing with her.

Self-controlled, and pure, and kind, and joyful, and meditating on God, and sweet and calm, and benevolent… I wonder if any of your husbands could write similar things about you ladies.

III. Self Control and purity

The Cretans, where Titus is, were known for a lack of self-control. And women must have this fruit of the Spirit—it influences all we do. And remember last week I told you that you should be available for your husband and should make yourself beautiful? I meant it physically but Paul means it totally differently in 1 Timothy 2:9 "… women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control…"

So what kind of self-control and purity? I think this pair is connected and has first to do with the marriage relationship. You do not sway to other men’s arms. You are pure. I know there are enticements out there. I am amazed at how much women are becoming like men. Not a compliment by the way. A couple weeks ago my wife got an email from a friend, you know one of those that goes to everyone in the world. Well, it said right at the top, “I am going to move to Houston and then set my house on fire.” Then there was a barrage of pictures of firemen with their coats open showing their perfect six pack and their bulging muscles. There are temptations and the Bible says stay pure. Stay controlled.

But there are other temptations to be impure and lose control. What about when you are taking care of your children? What do you allow them to watch on TV? Does your teen watch

Desperate housewives with you—after all its just fiction and stupid soap opera fiction at that. Everyone knows its not real. Or other soap operas for that matter? Are you reading romance novels around your children?

But even outside of sexual things. How self-controlled are you when you are at Target? Another snickers bar. The kids ask for something else that they want and its only 49 cents. Parents, loving your children does not mean giving them what they want, even if you can afford it. Your job is actually to make sure they don’t keep up with the Joneses. You want them to yield the competition before it even starts.

Are you teaching them to be pure of heart? To be single-minded. Mother out there, do not raise divided kids. Help them to see that they have one reason for existing—to glorify God and enjoy him forever. That is it. Its not to accumulate anything. Keep their mind pure of this world’s desires.

I have to say, I am torn with continuing here, but I am working on a series designed for teens and children probably for July and I will expound on all of that then. I want to focus on moms now.

IV. Keepers of the home

So they are to be self-controlled and pure and look at this one. Super scary I know. Young women are to be keepers of the home. How do they do that? Does this mean that they are slaves, cooking and cleaning and changing diapers and ironing, and washing clothes, and wiping noses, and picking up toys and disgusting shoes and …

What does it mean to be keepers of the home? First, I don’t think it means you aren’t allowed to have a job outside the home. I know some of you were worried that as much as I upset people, that this was bound to be another area for that. But I don’t think that. What I do think, is that this is your priority. Can you hear me ladies? Your priority is the home.

When you write “home-maker” on that survey you should smile with pride. You are performing God’s vocation for you. He says there is nothing more important. And yet, when you tell your friends at the grocery store that you are a homemaker they look at you with that condescending look and roll their eyes and toss their hair and stride away.

I know it happens, I have watched it dozens of times. But ladies, you have the most important job in all the world. To care for your family. For their spiritual, emotional and physical needs. You have the chance to instill faith in the next generation. If you can say your children hope in God and are glad in God, you are better than kings and CEOs and Presidents. You have shaped a soul and that is what God has called you to do. Oh to have other say of your children and grandchildren as Paul said of Timothy. . "I am reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice and now, I am sure, dwells in you as well."

Taking care of the home is your job in so many ways.

Barclay says, "It is the simple fact that there is no greater task, responsibility and privilege in this world than to make a home."

And it is a grand adventure where you get to mold souls. Mahaney writes, I seldom feel like much of an adventurer—standing in this kitchen, pouring cereal into bowls, refilling them, handing out paper towels when the inevitable cry comes: “Uh oh, I spilled.” But sometimes at night the thought will strike me: There are three small people here, breathing sweetly in their beds, whose lives are for the moment in our hands. I might as well be at the controls of a moon shot, the mission is so grave and vast.

Its not really that important is it? So much better to be an astronaut, or physics professor, or school teacher, or senator—isn’t it? Isn’t homemaking far under these professions? And if you don’t think so pastor, I know of one profession that you will think is way better—how about a missionary? That’s a way higher calling right?

I heard about a missionary who was trying to stir up interest to get people to go to a foreign country to preach the gospel. At the end of the service a woman dragging a little boy behind her, told the missionary, "I just feel like God is calling me to be a missionary." "He is, indeed" and pointing to the little boy, "And there’s the little heathen he wants you to preach to."

I don’t mean you can’t be a missionary or leader or anything else in the world, but I do want to emphasize your role as home-maker and home-keeper.

And Sarah Edwards considered it her job to care for her family. She freed her husband to pursue the philosophical, scientific, and theological wrestlings that made him a man we honor in the United States. His moral force was a threat to people who settled for the routine. He would wake early and read the bible by candlelight with the family and pray for God’s blessing on the day ahead. And while he did some manual labor every day, most of the house tasks fell on Sarah. But he wasn’t just the “public” Jonathan Edwards. She knew her husband “at-home.” Composed outside, but inside sliding into deep pits and engrossed in theological musings for entire days without coming to eat.

And she had kids too. Not one or two. She had eleven children at about 2 year intervals. And it was her duty to take care of that family. And I must tell you she did a great job.

In 1900, A. E. Winship contrasted two families in regard to their contributions to society. He wrote of the Edwards clan: Whatever the family has done, it has done ably and nobly. . . . And much of the capacity and talent, intelligence and character of the more than 1400 of the Edwards family is due to Mrs. Edwards.

By 1900 when this study was done, the marriage produced  13 college presidents

 65 professors  100 lawyers and a dean of a law school  30 judges  66 physicians and a dean of a medical school  80 holders of public office, including:  3 US senators  mayors of 3 large cities  governors of 3 states  a vicepresident of the US  a controller of the US treasurey.  Members of the family wrote 135 books. . . .edited 18 journals and periodicals.  They entered the ministry in platoons and sent one hundred missionaries overseas, as well as stocking many mission boards with lay trustees. There is scarcely any great American industry that has not had one of this family among its chief promoters. We might well ask with Elisabeth Dodds, “Has any other mother contributed more vitally to the leadership of a nation?”

So you can do all those great things through your children. Keeping your home means influencing your children.

Oh just an aside, lest you think Sarah was miss perfect. There is plenty in the letters of Jonathan that give us reason to think she dealt with depression. Still, she persevered. We have many of her letters to Jonathan and on many of them we have found this reminder when picking up groceries —“don’t forget the chocolate.” See she is just like everyone else here.

V. Loving children means Discipline

Influencing your home means of course discipline. More on this in July but I need to tell you young mothers that you must discipline. This is not only dad’s job. And it must be done for real and by you. No cop out disciplines. No threats. Just make it plain what is expected and punish as they deserve. Do it now please, before it is too late. Charles Bridges says: Far better that [children] should cry under healthful correction, than that parents should afterwards cry under the bitter fruit to themselves and children of neglected discipline.

Sarah Edwards seemed to find a great biblical way to discipline:

“She had an excellent way of governing her children; she knew how to make them regard and obey her cheerfully, without loud angry words, much less heavy blows. . . . If any correction was necessary, she did not administer it in a passion; and when she had occasion to reprove and rebuke she would do it in few words, without [vehemence] and noise. . . Her system of discipline was begun at a very early age and it was her rule to resist the first, as well as every subsequent exhibition of temper or disobedience in the child. . . wisely reflecting that until a child will obey his parents he can never be brought to obey God.

VI. Be Kind

Kindness deals with doing good, being benevolent toward others, hospitality. Having a giving nature. Charles Bridges says Kindness is a sincere desire for happiness of others. Goodness is the activity calculated to advance that happiness. Young women, you are to be kind and good. And this directly connects to what I think is the number one problem in young women today—selfishness. (Also the number one problem in older women, and younger men, and older men, and little kids and everyone else).

Can I read you something that is fun? Something that may upset you? Listen to these words from a compilation of 1950 home economics textbooks.

Have dinner ready: Plan ahead even the night before to have a delicious meal on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospects of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed.

Prepare yourself: Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-wary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.

Clear away the clutter: Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up school books, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift, too.

Prepare the children: Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair, and if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.

Minimize all noise: At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of washer, dryer, dishwasher, or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and be glad to see him. Some don'ts: Don't greet him with problems or complaints. Don't complain if he's late for dinner. Count this as minor compared with what he might have gone through that day.

Make him comfortable: Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soft soothing and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax-unwind.

Listen to him: You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first.

Make the evening his: Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to be home and relax.

The goal: Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

I was thinking about this and kind of smirking and even laughing out loud just like most of you I am sure are. But then I started thinking more. Do you know what this list was espousing?— selflessness. There wasn’t one thing in here that I wouldn’t like as a husband 50 years later. But this is absurd. He doesn’t ever bring flowers, and he doesn’t ever let me talk first, and he doesn’t ever let me relax and he doesn’t…

Is this what you are thinking? I was. Women shouldn’t have to act like this to their husbands and children until husbands and children start doing their part. Its not fair that he watches tv while you do the dishes. Right?

But I am not talking to him right now, and my words to you are that you are the helpmate. You help meet his needs. You are to be selfless and put his needs before your own. Even putting his wants over your own.

And putting your children’s needs over your own.

So what do you want that you aren’t getting—peace and quiet, a clean house, appreciation, recognition.

But that is why I want to praise mothers today. Many of you mothers, while you fail of course in areas of self, you are trying hard and I commend you. You want to be the young women that God has made you to be. You want to do hard things and be different. In short, you want to do all of this so that you wont malign the word of God. You want to give glory to God. And I have to say, I love being a pastor of that kind of woman. I am delighted to lead you and hopefully to inspire you and always to remind you when you fail, that Jesus paid it all, all to him I owe, sin had left a crimson stain, He washed it white as snow.

You have the privilege by being a submissive and loving wife and a kind, good, and self- controlled mother—by being a keeper of the home, you have the privilege of commending the word of God.

I promise you ladies it works. When George Whitefield visited the home of Jonathan Edwards he was amazed. He wrote regarding his interaction with Sarah Edwards

Felt wonderful satisfaction in being at the house of Mr. Edwards. He is a Son himself, and hath a Daughter of Abraham for his wife. A sweeter couple I have not yet seen. Their children were dressed not in silks and satins, but plain, as becomes the children of those who, in all things ought to be examples of Christian simplicity. She is a woman adorned with a meek and quiet spirit, talked feelingly and solidly of the Things of God, and

seemed to be such a help meet for her husband, that she caused me to renew those prayers, which, for many months, I have put up to God, that he would be pleased to send me a daughter of Abraham to be my wife.

You can commend the word through your cleaning spilled milk, through changing diapers, through teaching your children to read, through praying with your husband, through following your husband.

1 Peter 3:1-2 "Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives- when they see your respectful and pure conduct."

VII. Thank you for our future

For those of you who sometimes think mothering isn’t that important, please kill that thought.

John Angell James in Female Piety spoke of a pastors conference of 120 clergymen united in bonds of common faith. When asked to state the human instrumentality to which, under the Divine Blessing, he attributed a change of heart, more than 100 of them said it was their mother.

Ladies, thank you for investing your lives in the children. Thank you for raising them to hope in God and to be glad in God and to find their satisfaction only in God. Thank you for putting all else on hold to make sure that these children have real hope for the future.

Sin in a mothers life Beating anger: a sponge squeezed out illustration. It is not the squeezing that made the water. But the water was already there in the sponge. Squeezing a dry sponge would do nothing. Anger is already in our hearts and it flows forth when the squeeze is on. James 4:1-2 “What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have.”

Elisabeth Elliot A wife, if she is very generous, may allow that her husband lives up to perhaps eighty percent of her expectations. There is always the other twenty percent that she would like to change, and she may chip away at it for the whole of their married life without reducing it by very much. She may, on the other hand, simply decide to enjoy the eighty percent, and both of them will be happy.

Sarah Edwards, subject to husband She moved to Norhthampton to be the wife of the then new minister of the church. She was under close scrutiny for every grace

Ask the question what will most help my husband Help-meet

Bitterness Judging Renown for praying Renown for greeting Suppose you have had a bad day and the doorbell rings and there is a big van in the driveway and movie cameras and Ed McMahon is standing there. Would you just say hello and move back to what you were doing? Of course not So why do we act that way when our husband comes home? Our family is worth far more than a million dollar check—isnt it? For encouragement For listening For planning Calculated love. You cant foresee all troubles that come, but some you can and you can plan for others. Proverbs 22:3 advises “The prudent sees danger and hides himself, but the simple go on and suffer for it. Planning helps us hide ourselves and our families from trouble. Instead of making our life harder, why not plan to do Christmas shopping in July, or why not set the alarm a half hour earlier each morning. Why not plan a nap when pms is upon you and why not infuse our minds with scripture before our husband comes home.

Planning also allows for good things. Think through the desires of your husband—are brownies his favorite? Why not make a batch for no reason. Does your son love cartoons? Why not sit with him for 15 minutes and just cuddle and watch. Does your daughter love grown up things, why not have tea with her.

Perhaps something on loving yourself—self, control

Behold children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them (Psalm 127:3-5)

J. C. Ryle “This is the thought that should be uppermost on your mind in all you do for your children. In every step you take about them in every plan, and scheme, and arrangement that concerns them, do not leave out that mighty question, “How will this affect their souls?” . . . the chief end of [their lives] is the salvation of [their] soul[s]”