NB Live 2014: Suzie Simons speech highlights

Voiceover: Suzie Simons is a columnist for NB Magazine. Here are some highlights from her talk at NB Live.

Suzie Simons: “I've been registered blind for over eight years. When I first started helping out at Action for Blind People's resource centre at Judd Street in London, it was impossible not be reminded of how my sight loss began, because you're always reminded. I was at the best time of my life; I was 27, I was married, I had a young baby and I was a nanny for years and I had exactly what I wanted.

I remember waking up that morning and I'll never forget it, to the gorgeous gurgling sounds of my beautiful baby and rolling over to see the time and I couldn’t see my alarm clock.

It took a very long time to find out what was happening and every time they gave me an eye test - and there have been literally hundreds - I lost a little bit more hope of getting my vision back. Because I had a little baby, or maybe because that's the way my local authority do things, they sent round a team of social workers.

I was so focused on struggling, feelings of adequacy and how hard I was trying and I was really sure that they wanted to take away my baby. It really wasn’t the most rational time of my life, but when you're terrified that's what you do. So when they asked me how I was finding things, I would make all the right noises and say I'm fine, I'm coming to terms with it. I felt sure if I showed how difficult I was finding the transition I would be deemed an unfit mother.

Just like any other bereavement, time can change the responses that we have to it. I have been forever altered by my loss. I have accepted, moved on and dealt with it, but at times I'm still surprised by the enormity of it all. But I have really got on with my life and it's good, some of the time. I have great family and friends and my beautiful, boisterous children, who everybody asks do they help you? No, they're children, of course they bloody don't.”

Voiceover: You can read more of Suzie's columns at rnib.org.uk/nbmagazine.

RNIB, supporting people with sight loss.