Audio Title Audio 4 - CONERGY

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KAREN PATTOCK: Welcome back everyone it‘s Karen Pattock.

MARYANN RIVERS: And this is MaryAnn Rivers and we are so glad that you are back with us for audio number 4 where we are going to talk about how to create Canergy or energy with confidence. And we know that really it isn't a word we actually just made it up. Because we though it was very descriptive of what we were trying to share today. There's definitely that exists that either makes someone more confident or makes them well lesser confident. You can feel it in yourself and you know that you can see it in others.

But before we dig into canergy we want to take a few minutes just to review what we have discussed so far in the other audios. In the programs that you have been experiencing. In audio one we talked about confidence zappers. Those are the negative things we tell ourselves or allow ourselves to tell us that create a negative story about ourselves day in and day out. That we are not good enough, we are not pretty enough, we are not strong enough. You get the picture.

So we taught you how to work on how to get this out of your psychic or at least being aware of them. And maybe you are still learning how to shut them down and get rid of them but that was an important part of the foundation building.

In audio number 2 we discussed confidence boosters. And once you get a hold of your zappers, you've done bringing in the positive and then also helps push out some of the negatives. They counter attack, they have to launch against the zappers and the tricks that might just help you come down the negativity and get the rid of the zappers that have a hold on us.

They are unique to each person. So honing on the method that works best for you is necessary and we hope by now that you've started to get a couple of confidence boosters that are your goal tools and then you might need some individual situational boosters that you pull in from time to time. But also we hope that that is starting to feel like something that is natural to you.

And then in audio three we spent time discussing really how to rewrite your story which is the core essence of this program. Each step is really important but for gaining control over your confidence long term, rewriting your story is really vital. And when our are able to change your perspective and look at your self in a new light you will start to feel the internal shift towards being more confident, overall.

The realization that you don't have to be an expert in everything is freeing. Focusing only on your strengths is the secret to rewrite your story. A story that has nothing but positive vibrations flowing all the way through it. So those are Audio Title_Audio_4_-_CONERGY

the first three steps that we took you through and now we are going to move on t the next step. So Carren would you like to talk about that?

KAREN PATTOCK: Would love to. So that brings us to Module 4, audio 4. Where we have all kinds of positive vibrations flowing through each of us. That's truly the golden ticket. You need to combine your energy and your confidence. Something we like Maryanne said we like to call Canergy. It is our new descriptive word. And speaking of words who made the word vibe or vibrations? We use those words interchangeably a lot. A vibe or vibration is an energetic frequency that our thoughts and our bodies cause us to emit to the world. Every minute of every day each of us, we are all sending out those positive or negative vibrations.

So if you just think of those vibrations like a radio station and you are radiating certain energy waves that other people are either going to tune into or frankly they are going to tune you out. It just depends on what type of vibration you are giving them. So let's just take a moment and think of a situation where you have experienced both of those scenarios. First focus on when someone tuned you out. Think about when you know you were talking to someone and they were not listening to a single word you were saying.

Now think about a different time when the complete opposite happened. Think of a time when the person you were speaking to was completely focused on everything you were saying. Really they were almost livided by what you were saying. Can you think of a time that happened? Do you see the difference in the energy between those two situations? How in each case the energy made you feel one way or the other. When someone’s completely it makes you feel terrible but when they are livided by what you are saying it makes you feel so good.

Now chose another thought think of a situation where you have met someone for the first time. You shake there hand and you look them in the eye and you are thinking to yourself "There is something about this person, I just can't put my finger on it but something doesn't feel right". Many of us take those moments and we just ignore them, we convince ourselves there is no way we can be right about this person, we just met them a minute ago for crying out loud. But has your instinct ever proven you right? Were you able to say down the road that I had a feeling that something wasn't right with that guy from the very beginning?

On the other hand there are certain people that we are just naturally drawn to them the minute we meet. It is almost like a feeling of déjà vu, they feel so familiar to us and their vibrations, their energy is very warm and comforting to Audio Title_Audio_4_-_CONERGY us. And when you experience that when you are meeting someone it is the energy, the vibration.

So let's just take this process some step further let’s just think about the confidence you feel from someone when you meet them. Would you agree that you can really tell if someone is confident right when you meet them? How is that person standing? How do they hold themselves? What's their tone and their level of voice? How strong is there handshake? These are all really tale tale signs of there confidence level, how confident they are.

And there are occasions when you will meet someone that on the inside they are extremely insecure but they try to masquerade themselves as a confident person. And at times you can tell right from the beginning that this is all a shred and there are other times it might take you a little bit of time but you can rest assured that that type of self confidence will show itself really quickly. Just I mean the moral of the story is trust your instincts, the energy, those vibrations they are real. So trust what you are feeling.

On the other hand take a moment; I want you to think about the vibrations that you send when you meet someone for the first time. Do you give other people the impression that you are a confident person? Do you stand tall? Do you speak in a tone of voice that commands their attention? Do you present yourself in a professional manner?

Let’s do an exercise just so you will get a clear picture of what I am talking about. Pull out the energy skill hand out that we sent you with this audio and take a minute to review it. Now take a moment to place an energy value to our previous discussions on confidence zappers. What value for you coincides to the emotions that you feel, when you are in a place of not feeling confident and strong? And just make a quick note of that value and then when you finish doing that think about when we discussed confidence boosters.

Focus on that specific confidence booster that you targeted for yourself and how that makes you feel. Am hoping actually that you had an opportunity to put some of those confidence boosters into action since we discussed them in audio 2 and may be you have even identified your favorite. But what number on that energy scale will you assign to the feeling that you have when your confidence booster is in place and you are feeling really strong and confident, make a note of that value.

Now calculate the difference the difference between those two numbers. Through this process you should really be learning how to consistently have energy, have confidence and just to vibrate really at a higher frequency. When Audio Title_Audio_4_-_CONERGY

you regularly concentrate on the vibration or the energy that you are putting out to those around you, you are going to be a lot different person.

Have you ever heard when someone discusses the law of attraction? This belief is pertinent, really pertinent to this madual because it literally means that you are attracting to you who you are and what you are feeling. So if you're putting out negativity or negative emotions, you are going to attract negativity. If you feel positive and you are putting positive energy your going to attract back that same positivity right back to you. I am sure you can agree with me that it's much better to be surrounded with that positive energy and all that positive emotion and it's much more appealing than the negative, down just sucking atmosphere that it can just take out of you. Keep everything positive. So Maryanne what do you have for us next?

,MARYANN RIVERS: It is certainly related to what you just said Carren. We've talked a lot a bout mindset in this program and we can't stress enough how managing what goes into your mind and how you perceive things has the greatest impact on your energy and your confidence which are highly related, we just talked about it. If you think that the energy that comes to you each day is just random, well we have a surprise for you. You have much more control over it than you think.

So what have we found is the best way to attract positive energy? I believe and I know Carren agrees with me on this that spending time each day, consciously think through what you desire, how you want the day to unfold and how you live each day to the fullest with confidence. That’s how you attract positive energy. That’s how you keep your confidence high.

Every day you have a chance to start with a clean slate and we recommend that you make a ritual every morning choosing to spend time consciously choosing your energy that you feel you want to show the world each day. I know when I started doing this a couple of years ago it absolutely was life changing for me. And it made me recognize how I am in control even when I am not always feeling initially like my energy is high and my confidence is high very first thing in the morning but it certainly changes after I take time.

So before you race up 100 miles an hour which is typically how most of us are programmed. You jump out of bed maybe you hit the news a couple of times and you are running behind. And you are up and running and then you're just like go, go, go. And you have no time to really think through things. Instead of doing that, step back and really make an appointment with yourself. The few extra minutes of sleep aren't probably going to make as big of a difference. And if you spend sometime in quite reflection, whether you have some sought of a prayer ritual that you enjoy, gratitude focusing on your new story that we Audio Title_Audio_4_-_CONERGY created in madual 4; of the things that you are grateful for in your life. It is also a great time to say affirmations that we talked about in the confidence boosters section.

Visualization, visualizing you taking on the day, the challenges that might be ahead of you, picturing yourself successful, how you want the day to play out. Ask yourself what energy your are starting at. Use the chart that we just walked through with you. You know where you are starting and then where would you like to be. If you are not feeling that energetic ask yourself what is causing that energy crisis. Sometimes you can step back, if it's mindset we have taught you how to use zappers and boosters to get rid of the negativity bring in some of the positive. Sometimes just deep breathing to clear your mind, meditating and everything again that you have to be grateful for as we talked about.

And by the way if you didn't know this research actually proves that having gratitude regardless of your circumstances is the number one indicator of long term happiness. People that are happy are those who are most grateful for whatever it is that is in their life and that they can find elements to be grateful for always. Sometimes making a point to reach out to someone and thinking through how you can bring joy to someone else it could be in the smallest of ways. Sometimes doing something anonymously that you know you will never really be necessarily may be in this life known for. But to bless someone else is a way to completely change your mind set and change the energy that you might be approaching for the day.

Sometimes your attitude is low because of physical issues. You know may be you didn't get enough sleep the night before or you are tired and you have healthy considerations. Moving in the morning is really really important and that could be a lot of hard work out of that but it is what does it for you. But it doesn't have to be, it can be simple yoga stretches, go for a walk, or get outside. Any form of physical movement can change what your body is feeling or what you're physically feeling and it can change your energy.

Consider what you ate yesterday. Do you nourish your body with things that create good energy and if not how do you want to eat today that will create a different energy today as well as when you get up the following morning. Do you know that foods actually have known energy? Think about the difference between a home baked sweet juicy sweet potato that's been roasted in the oven for an hour versus a bag of Doritos. There is very different energy in those two foods. It may be a silly example but it really does make a difference so consider the foods you are adding in your body every day are they adding energy are they draining energy. Audio Title_Audio_4_-_CONERGY

And is your energy low because you are facing something in the day that you are fearful of, are you dragged you just don't want to tackle it? Take some time to get beneath what is there try to dissect what it really is. Last time I remember use the zappers ask yourself the age old question what is the worst that can happen? Have you faced something similar before what was the outcome? Chances are it is not nearly as awful as what you are making it in your mind. Think about your various successes in getting through huddles.

Even though they are not exactly the same thing don't fight it. Allow it to wash through you, embrace the fear and worry and recognize it for what it is. We talked about this previously in rewriting your story. Your perception of this worry or fear is all that’s real. So how can you change your view of it, what is the one positive thing that you can focus on instead of really getting caught up in the negativity of it?

So overall there is a lot of different approaches to take but just by starting each day making a choice about your energy and what you can do to manage it is much more productive and empowering than just letting whatever energy you wake up with set the tone for your whole day. You really can change it and turn it back around; you don't have to let your emotions manage you. You can lead your emotions by making a conscious decision each morning. So get up early and set the course for your day.

KAREN PATTOCK: "Great" I love that. I love doing that. It is how I start every single morning. Well am sure that you know that Maryann and I take the opportunity in every single one of these audios to challenge you to think through some things and to make a commitment to taking action to change your behavior and really improve your confidence. That's why we are here, right? So guess what it's time.

If you haven't already printed the worksheets out that we sent along with this audio you can go ahead and do that now. And when you get those printed, pull out the Carnegie work sheet. We are going to work through that together. And even though confidence is I guess mostly a mind game there are still some physical barriers to energy that can affect our confidence. There are some major things that affect everyone’s energy and we've actually listed some of them here on the work sheet. You may think of some other things down the road and we actually some lines at the bottom for you to fill those in but right now let's just stay focused on the categories that Maryanne and I provided of you.

So step 1 is to list things under each category that affect your energy. When you are in certain situations do you feel the energy draining out of you? Are there other situations that really give you a huge boost of energy? They really leave you having more confidence and what are they? You can list those there. We Audio Title_Audio_4_-_CONERGY have included besides the situations we have included some other categories like people, your talents, competency gaps, physical conditions or your health, your parents. And like Maryann mentioned the food that you eat. Is there anything else really that jumps out at you.

So here is what you can do in all of these areas list the positives and the negatives. We want to identify those negative things as well. So list the positive and the negative energy that you feel as you think through the items. And think about the things that make the biggest difference for you and when you are writing those down mark each one with a ‘p’ for a positive and with an ‘n’ for the negative.

Then we can move into step 2, which is we are going to list the top3 things that you currently do that give you high energy and high confidence. These are the things that you definitely want to remember and you want to keep doing them. Additionally we would like you to list the 3 things that drain your energy. And when you are listing those think about what can you do differently that will turn these into positives. Or at list at a minimum eliminate that negative downside.

And then the 3rd step, we really would like you to set some specific goals around how you will use your positive energy to build on your natural tendencies and set a few goals that will l change the negative energy buttons in your life. But we really don't want you to set more than three. It seems to be just the right number I think. And we have already asked you to set so many goals previously. So let’s just stick with 3 for this exercise.

Actually some of the goals that you set here you might find coincide with some other goals that you set. Like through the killing of zappers and using your boosters to even when we talked about living to you values and using your strengths. So take some time now to work through this work sheet by stopping the audio and coming back when you are finished.

Welcome back, did you have any aha! moments as you worked through this exercise? Did you realize that the most critical things that you give, they give you positive energy and boost your confidence? They are so important and you can really lean on these things the things that lift you up. You can lean on those every single day to help you through. And did you uncover any nasty energy suppers that you really need to address? And what great ideas do you have for counteracting those negative issues?

And let me just say that some of those energy suckers could be people in your life. People that you are letting share your space. So I would like you to just release you right now. I would like to give you this freedom and the permission to remove those people from your life. It is extremely important. If they are Audio Title_Audio_4_-_CONERGY

energy suckers now and it happened in the past. They are going to be energy suckers in the future. So just release them, let them go. So you can move forward and you can create a better life with much more confidence.

Awareness of your own energy sources and the leaks that we just talked about is a huge step forward in changing your confidence. Just remember that high energy equals high confidence. So just make a concerted effort to manage your energy and I promise you, you will surely reap the rewards.

MARYANN RIVERS: That was a great exercise Carren and we just have one little secret that we want to share with you about learning to be confident and it is called ‘faking it until you make it’.

Sometimes with confidence issues have an impostor syndrome which we've may be touched on in the past. It usually means that you feel like you are not worthy or you are inferior to others for some reason. And if you struggle with this you may say things like you might not do this or am not good enough to be in this position. Well we want to take and put that positive impostor syndrome to work for us actually. Impostor syndrome to work for us and to tear that upside down. Being an impostor in the positive sense by impersonating someone else that you admire for their confidence.

Think about the most confident person that you know. Very positive, successful by your own definition of course, someone you really admire. What character traits do they demonstrate? How do they carry themselves? How do they dress? How do they talk to others? Get a really good mental picture of that person right now. Particularly think about the energy they give off. Now let's pretend that you are an actress or an actor and you have just been cast in a play about there life. Can you envision showing up in the world like them? What does that look like, with you doing it instead of them?

Here is a real life example if that sounds a little far fetched for you. I wanted to give a speech for the largest audience that I had ever addressed. And I was nervous and am generally as a public speaker I don't get that nervous but in this particular case I was. And I was concerned that I wouldn’t have the presence to carry out the message that I had to deliver. Just prior to that I had been at a motivational seminar and I saw this woman speak and it was just phenomenal. So I decided that I would mean it and even pretend to some extend that I was this woman as I practiced my presentation and when I delivered it. I cast myself in the role of her. Now I still answered things the way I would and I spoke from the heart, from myself. But the way I delivered the message and how I exuded confidence really was based a lot on how I saw her and how I visualized myself acting in that same way. I managed the stage presence, I worked like crazy to Audio Title_Audio_4_-_CONERGY

you know make sure that that energy that was coming form me was very similar to what I saw in her. And you know what it worked. And it is a trick that I have fallen back on in many other cases when I have certain situations that I might be feeling a little less confident I basically fake it until I do it. And you know that visualization and kind of pretending that I am someone else really does make a huge difference. So picturing yourself communicating with self confidence from someone else who has modeled it for you and you believe it in your mind first, you practice it mentally and you will be amazed at how your energy and your confidence level rises.

KAREN PATTOCK: Maryanne that was great. I loved that story. Thanks for sharing it. So we hope by now that you are starting to really understand how energy or the vibe that you are giving of and you are actually feeling internally has a direct correlation to your confidence. Energy is everywhere. Take the time to just stand in the middle of the mall or in the middle of your grocery store and feel the energy of the people going by you. How many of you actually have ever been in a room and someone has walked in the room behind you and you cannot even see that person and you can tell that they are in a good mood or a bad mood? That’s the energy that we are talking about. And you can chose to grab positive energy and draw it right into your world or you can do things that draw in the negative energy. Energy both ways positive or negative is magnetic. And you are that energy force field more than anything else.

So you are going to draw, like I said the law of attraction it starts with just being aware. Your awareness to the situation allows you then to practice. And it will increase as you practice. And eventually it creates this ongoing flow of positive energy. So think about it this way that energy just comes from you that positive energy, you out in out it go out to others and then it returns to you. So there is this constant flow around and around and so on and so on it continues to go. And once you recognize that powerful force of energy, that force that exists around you, you can chose, you can chose whether to live in that positive realm or the negative. Just be conscious of it everyday. Be conscious of where you are and where you want to be. Where do you want to go? Like follows like.

Now besides the energy scale and the my canargie worksheet Maryanne and I have provided you with another bonus handout that we thought that was really important and it is called 'top ten ways you can increase your energy'. Use this handout it is really really impertinent, it will help you.

It is a very practical go to guide that you can refer to as often as you like just do with your energy. And we certainly hope you enjoy it. And I hate to say it but we are nearing the end of your confidence story writing journey and we certainly hope that you have been enjoying it as much as we have. Audio Title_Audio_4_-_CONERGY

We have loved it. And that you are starting to see your confidence emerge with every single step. And I am not going to give any secrets away but I just want to let you know that we have a fantastic finale planned for you in the next audio and we look forward to being with you again soon.

Until then please be proud of how far you have come. And be confident and shine. And just be so proud of our wonderful self because we are so proud of you have a great day everybody.

MARYANN RIVERS: We will talk to you soon.