Article Published Nov 12, 2007 (Washington Times)

Article published Nov 12, 2007 (Washington Times) Sacrificing in silence

November 12, 2007

By Daniel L. Davis - Since September 11 it has been fairly common to see editorial pieces this time of year extolling and honoring the sacrifice made by the members of our armed forces. Even in the public square most Americans confer respect on the military. But on this Veterans Day, I wish to redirect some of the light normally accorded to those of us in uniform to another richly deserving constituency — one that sometimes suffers more than the soldiers, sailors, airmen and Marines that fight on the front lines: our military families.

Precious little (outside the protective conclave of the military housing area) is known about the suffering endured by the wives, husbands, sons, daughters, mothers and fathers of service members who remain behind when the soldier marches off to war.

Forever seared into my memory will be the image of my toddler son looking up at me with eyes showing fear and betrayal when I told him I'd have to "go away for awhile" prior to leaving for Afghanistan; every dad or mom who has ever deployed into a combat zone knows what I'm talking about. But to be frank, once we land in theater our job gets easier. We know where we are and what's going on generally in our area. But the families are left behind, frequently in the dark, knowing precious little of our welfare; they suffer silently, alone.

Here are only a few examples of how some American military families have suffered during wartime: In a recent phone conversation, Ray Wells, a stately gentlemen recommended for the Congressional Medal of Honor for his actions at San Pietro (Italy) in 1944, told me he still remembers vividly the pain his mother endured while he and his brother fought during World War II: "You see, back then communications weren't what they are today. It took weeks for the telegram to arrive telling my mother I had been wounded in Italy; the next day she got one telling her my brother was missing in action. Those were hard days."

Marine Lance Cpl. Matthew Snyder was killed in Iraq March 3, 2006. As if the agonizing pain of the loss of their son wasn't enough, Matthew's parents were further subjected to vitriol that even in this cynical age was shocking. A so-called church in Kansas decided that America's ills were caused by the decisions of our senior elected leaders and irrationally chose to punish grieving parents by holding a protest at Corporal Snyder's funeral shouting such obscenities as "God Hates Fa—," despite the fact Cpl. Snyder was not a homosexual. Perhaps the single most tragic event of this war, however, happened recently near Fort Bliss, Texas. Specialist John A. Johnson, of the 9th Cavalry Regiment, 1st Cavalry Division, had survived five IED explosions over his two years in Iraq, the last of which required medical evacuation to Texas. After undergoing two months of treatment at Brooke Army Medical Center in San Antonio, the doctors finally gave him the green light to continue recovery at home. His wife and three children, excited to have their father back, were driving from El Paso to San Antonio to pick him up when a wind gust caused the wife's vehicle to veer off the road. The crash killed two of the children, injuring the wife and a third child; the family is too grief-stricken to speak in public.

These are just some of the more prominent cases. Almost 4,000 service members have thus far been killed during the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan and almost 30,000 have been wounded; scenes of agony and grief are suffered by the families of each.

But even the families of those who escape serious injury or death suffer as well. With each report on the news of another casualty, that telltale sick feeling comes over the stomach of a loved one wondering if it was their soldier that was killed this time. But the outside world never sees it. To most people it's just another day to watch television go shopping; to the military family of a deployed soldier, it is just another day in h—-.

So, this year, I ask you to seek out the family member of a soldier, sailor, airman or Marine — particularly of those who are deployed — and let them know you appreciate the sacrifice they make. Unless you live that life on a daily basis you can't tell them you "understand" — because you don't, But making the effort to let them know their plight is not invisible — and to remind them that those around do care and that they are not as alone as it sometimes appears — will be appreciated more than you know.

Maj. Daniel L. Davis is a cavalry officer who fought in Desert Storm in 1991 and served in Afghanistan in 2005.