Your Wedding At Haviland Friends Church

Dear Bride & Groom,

Your wedding is the beginning of one of life's most promising adventures, and is a day for the making of unforgettable memories. The pastor and people of Haviland Friends Church want to wish you all the joys and blessings for a wonderful beginning to a lifetime of fulfillment in one of life's most precious relationships.

Since you are considering the Church as a place for your wedding, we assume that you want to have a Christian celebration.

It should be noted that there are civil and secular, as well as religious ceremonies, which are chosen by some couples. While the pastor of Haviland Friends Church does not officiate at civil and secular weddings, he can offer referrals for such occasions. Secular ceremonies are not performed at Haviland Friends Church.

The Christian Celebration of Marriage is a service of worship drawn from the long historic traditions of the Church, which seeks to honor Jesus Christ our Lord, and to establish the home in Christian principles. In the Christian service of marriage two persons are entering into a covenant not only with each other, but with God. While the language and elements of such a celebration may be contemporary in every way, the plans and preparation will be made with these values and commitments in mind.

The following is a guide intended to offer clear steps toward the planning and celebrating of the very best of Christian services at Haviland Friends Church. Please feel free to enter into dialogue with us about any of these matters and your personal needs as you plan the best day of your life. It is suggested that you call the Church office to arrange for a tour of the facilities so you will know where different items are stored.

Blessings on your future!

Haviland Friends Church Staff

1 STEP 1: SETTING THE TIME OF YOUR WEDDING

Careful planning is necessary for all weddings. You will want to plan as early in advance as possible so that the use of the church space can be arranged without conflict. It is not unusual for weddings to be scheduled one year in advance. The date of the wedding is set by submitting the application form and by agreeing to the Marriage Policy. Upon receipt the church office will confirm the availability of space, or advise you of any conflicts. After the date is confirmed the pastor will be advised, so he can check his availability. It is suggested that you arrange a meeting with the pastor as soon as possible.

It is extremely important that the exact time for the wedding and rehearsal be observed. Care should be taken to have all members of the wedding in their place at the time indicated. In most cases, the church will be available three (3) hours prior to the wedding time. NO weddings will be scheduled to begin after 7:00 p.m.

STEP 2: PREMARITAL COUNSELING

Pre-marital counseling is considered a non-negotiable blessing at Haviland Friends Church. After you have set the date of the wedding, you need to call to make an appointment with the pastor for your counseling sessions. You are required to have a minimum of five sessions, either with the pastor or with a counselor of your choice, along with two sessions with the pastor at Haviland Friends Church. If you choose another counselor, please have them contact the pastor here to vouch for your other sessions.

STEP 3: PLANNING THE CEREMONY CHARGES AND FEES For members there are no charges for the Sanctuary and/or Fellowship Hall.

Reservations for the building will be considered when the Wedding Reservation Form has been filled out and returned.

Soloists, musicians or other persons hired by the wedding party, shall be paid directly by the couple. It is then understood that the Church is in no way responsible for any legal obligations that may arise from the hiring of such persons.

2 The telephone number of the Church is 862-5258. Office hours are 9:00 a.m.-3:00 p.m., Monday through Friday.

MUSIC A church wedding is a worship service, and the music should be in keeping with the reverence that is observed upon entering the House of the Lord. The music should be sacred in text to fit the sacred church wedding. The couple may wish to discuss the music to be played with the Pastor. All music selections must be approved by the Pastor. When there is to be a soloist, it will be the responsibility of the couple to see that the soloist contacts the organist. In order to help insure a beautiful wedding and to maintain high musical standards, music should be selected which speaks of our love through God. The couple is responsible for obtaining the music for the soloist and the soloist's accompanist at least two weeks in advance of the wedding.

Arrangements for live music to be played at the reception must be approved by the Pastor.

PHOTOGRAPHERS

It is the responsibility of the bride and groom to instruct the photographer, wedding attendances, family and friends that no flash pictures are permissible in the sanctuary once the ceremony begins (Photo of the bride entering and leaving accepted). Pictures may be taken of the bridal party prior to, or within one (1) hour following the completion of the ceremony. The photographer needs to also remain in the rear of the sanctuary once the wedding begins so as not to disturb the ceremony. Videos may be used with stationary cameras only.

The bride and groom are required to sign the enclosed reservation form agreeing that they will comply with Haviland Friends Church's wedding policies.

FLOWERS AND DECORATIONS (Please note, and give to florist)

In the worship center of the Church there exists a setting for a sacred service which is dignified and beautiful. The use of decorations should be carefully planned. It is the responsibility of the bride's family to arrange with a florist for decorations. Please notify the facility coordinator at the Church with the days and times you plan on being at the church to decorate. The staff will make the church available to you for

3 decorating.

Florists or companies who decorate the Sanctuary and reception area will be held responsible against damage of any kind, caused by their employees or their equipment. An inspection will be made following the event to insure things are in order.

Whenever candles are used, they MUST be of the none dripping variety and must be in candelabra which will catch and contain all drippings, and the floor must be thoroughly protected.

Under no condition shall decorations be attached to the pews or other furniture by pinning, gluing or nailing, or placed on the altar or musical instruments. Caution should be exercised when using tape or other hangars, to eliminate damage to furniture and fixtures.

It is expected that the wedding party will leave all facilities clean following the removal of flowers, candles, etc. Debris, trash or dirt that is brought in while decorating will be your responsibility to clean up before your wedding. Platform furniture may be moved or removed under supervision of Church personnel only. No rice, confetti or bird seed are to be thrown anywhere inside the Church. Balloon "launches" are permissible only outside the building.

STEP 4: PLANNING THE RECEPTION

The Church has tablecloths, trays, and a punch bowl for you to use. Any damage to these items must be reported to church staff personnel, and a fee may be charged to replace such an item. These items must be cleaned and returned to their place after the reception. The cake tablecloth must be dry cleaned at your expense, and the round cloth tablecloths must be laundered, ironed, and folded neatly, and returned to the church within three days. (On some occasions you may be asked to return these sooner due to the scheduling of the next event here at Haviland Friends Church.) There are no facilities for storing decorations. It is helpful if you schedule a tour with the Facility Coordinator of the reception area prior to your wedding so the location of reception items, tablecloths and cleaning supplies can be shown to you. The Church building must be cleaned

4 thoroughly following the wedding. Cleanup procedures are listed on the following page.

5 WEDDING CLEANUP LIST

1. Vacuum all areas used. This includes the Sanctuary, foyer, hall ways, and any classrooms uses as dressing rooms. 2. Clean all areas: sweep, pick up, return all things to their proper place. 3. Sweep all walkways and steps outside. All birdseed, wheat, etc. needs to be swept away. All trash from lawn and parking lots need to be picked up and put in garbage bin. (This includes bubble containers, balloons, and items used to decorate the couple’s get away car.) 4. All trash needs to be removed from the facility. The garbage bin is located on the east side of the Church. 5. Reception area: A. All cloth tablecloths need to washed, ironed, folded neatly and returned in three days. Cake tablecloth needs to be dry-cleaned. B. Put away all tables and chairs except 9 round tables and eight chairs around each table. And return the plastic table covers. C. Dust mop and wet mop the fellowship hall and kitchen. D. Walk through the entire church to make sure all debris, hangers, garment bags, and decorations are removed from the facility. Make sure all lights are off.

Thank you for helping care for the facility! Haviland Friends Church **A fee may be charged is this list is not completed

Thank you for reading through these facility guidelines. Please fill out and submit the Request for Wedding Reservations and Marriage Policy form to: Haviland Friends Church P.O Box 246 Haviland, KS 67059

6 7 REQUEST FOR WEDDING RESERVATIONS HAVILAND FRIENDS CHURCH

Date:______Name of Bride:______Phone:______Present Address:______Work Phone: ______City:______State:______Zip Code:______

Name of Groom:______Phone:______Present Address:______Work Phone: ______City:______State:______Zip Code:______

New Address:______Phone: ______City:______State:______Zip Code:______

Is either a member of Haviland Friends Church? ______Yes ______No Has either a parent who is am ember of Haviland Friends Church? ______Yes ______No

Please reserve for us (Check one): ______Wedding Only (Sanctuary) ______Wedding and Reception (Sanctuary and Fellowship Hall) ______Reception Service

8 ______Other Caterer Time of Wedding: Day ______Time ______Minister: ______Organist: ______Soloist: ______Sound Technician: ______

We agree to comply with the rules and regulations of Haviland Friends Church regarding church weddings and church receptions. Bride: ______Date: ______Groom: ______Date: ______

9 10 MARRIAGE POLICY APPLICATION FOR A CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE CEREMONY HAVILAND FRIENDS CHURCH

Marriage is a holy covenant. It’s a solemn agreement between a man, a woman, and Almighty God. This covenant should not be entered without understanding how marriage is viewed in God’s Word. Concerning marriage, Jesus declared that a man shall leave his father and mother, be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one. Because of the seriousness of this union, Jesus said, “What God has joined together, let no man separate” (Matthew 19:6).

The Bible teaches that those who enter into marriage should incorporate the following attitudes in their relationship: appreciate one another in Christ-like love; make allowances for human weaknesses; comfort one another in sickness, trouble, and sorrow; fulfill basic emotional needs in the life of one another; pray for and encourage one another; live together as co-equal recipients of the grace of life; and raise children under the Lord’s instruction and training. This Marriage Policy is meant to encourage couples to set aside time for serious discussion of these crucial attitudes concerning Christian marriage.

The leadership at Haviland Friends Church believes that couples should invest quality time and effort in premarital preparation rather than concentrating solely on the wedding plans. A well- planned wedding is significant; a well-planned marriage is crucial. A wedding is for a day; a marriage is for a lifetime. Successful marriages are not made in heaven; successful marriages are forged on the anvil of hard work and commitment.

The leadership at Haviland Friends Church requests that you graciously agree to and honestly sign the following guidelines. After the applicants have signed these guidelines, the Spiritual Life Committee will have the authority to approve the involvement of our staff, volunteers, and/or facilities in your wedding ceremony.

GUIDELINES

1. Attend a minimum of five counseling sessions with a counselor of your choice, and an additional two with the pastor. These sessions will begin two to three months prior to your wedding date. The sessions with the pastor will include reading through a workbook or book dealing with marriage.

2. In planning your wedding ceremony, keep in mind that the service will be conducted within the framework of Christian beliefs. The ceremony will include prayer, Scripture reading, and frequent references to God’s plan for marriage. Musical selections, vows, poetry, apparel, and behavior must be consistent with the sacredness of the occasion.

11 3. Attend worship services together at Haviland Friends Church (or your own church) at least twice a month between the commencement of the premarital counseling sessions and the wedding. The reasons for this guideline are:  Worshiping God, fellowshipping with believers in Christ, and learning God’s Word are indispensable for a truly joyful home;  God’s Word clearly commands us to gather frequently with believers to worship Him and to receive encouragement to obey Him;  Statistics compiled from various studies indicate that families who consistently worship together are less likely to experience the pain of divorce.

4. If you have been sexually active with each other, we will expect you to refrain from sexual intercourse at least three months prior to the wedding. We believe that sexual purity until marriage is an investment in a fulfilled life together. The divorce rate for those who are sexually active prior to marriage is much higher than for those who refrain from sex until marriage. If you have already had sexual intercourse with each other, now is a good time to begin exercising self-restraint and invest in your future.

5. Both the bride and the groom must be confessing Christians (2 Corinthians 6:14-16). Exceptions may be made when neither party is a believer. Northwest Friends Church recognizes that unbelieving couples would benefit by coming under the influence of the church; consequently, the premarital counseling sessions will be geared to convince the couple of their need to place Christ first in their marriage.

6. Marriages of divorced individuals will only be performed if the following conditions apply: a. The previous marriage was terminated by the death of a spouse or by a divorce that was granted on the basis of these conditions: 1) Abandonment by an unbelieving spouse (I Corinthians 7:12-16); 2) Marital unfaithfulness (Matthew 19:9). b. No previous spouse of either party is willing to or able to (if they have remarried) be reconciled. c. Sufficient time for emotional healing has elapsed.

7. Courtships shorter than one year will be discouraged.

Believing that marriage is a sacred relationship and responsibility, I agree to the above guidelines.

______Signature of Bride Date

______

12 Signature of Groom Date