Shabbat-B'Shabbato – Parshat Toldot No 1598: 2 Kislev 5776 (14 November 2015)

AS SHABBAT APPROACHES "A ladder solidly placed in the earth, with its head reaching into the heavens" - by Esti Rosenberg, Head of the Midrasha for Women, Migdal Oz

The above words (Bereishit 28:12) reverberate in my head and my heart whenever I try to define the book of Bereishit and the many stories that appear in it. Rashi begins his commentary asking about the choice of the Holy One, Blessed be He, to start the Torah with stories of the Patriarchs and not with mitzvot. Rashi's reply to this question assumes that Bereishit is setting a framework for replies to foundational questions that arise in the lives of individuals and of the nation as a whole.

The Natziv too, in his introduction to Bereishit, writes that the stories of the Patriarchs tell us about their actions as a way of teaching us righteous behavior, through looking at how they lived. In his answer Rashi focuses on the subject of Eretz Yisrael, while the Natziv emphasizes the interpersonal behavior of the Patriarchs. Both commentators demand from us to reveal the moral and religious lessons behind the personal stories. The Patriarchs lived and strived on a personal and national level as private people, but at the same time they were aware that "their heads reached into the heavens." The Patriarchs and the Matriarchs were keenly aware of their role in establishing the nation of Yisrael. They clearly felt that in their daily behavior they were making decisions with respect to weighty questions related to the mission of the nation and Divine guidance, calling out in the name of G-d, and the fate of the nation of Yisrael.

As we study the book of Bereishit, it is our duty to look at the figures who appear in the book. We must try to understand them and their actions here on earth, but also mainly to search for the significance of their behavior in heaven – to learn about the values of truth, justice, and honesty that they teach us. And with this in the background, we can only look in wonder at the story of the blessings in this week's Torah portion. There can be no doubt that Rivka and Yitzchak are in the midst of a deep spiritual dispute about the character and the mission of the nation of Yisrael. The tools of the argument may well be earthly and practical, but the discussion and the dispute are deep and very spiritual.

Rabbi Shimshon Rafael Hirsh explains that the dispute between Rivka and Yitzchak was about the relationship between the physical and the spiritual. The hope and the yearning of Yitzchak was that his two sons would share the burden of the spiritual and the physical worlds. Yaacov would be involved in the spiritual side of life, and Eisav would use his great physical strength to take charge of the physical side of the nation. In a true partnership driven by their brotherly love, they would manage these two powers, which might normally be in conflict and clash but which can work together with the proper guidance and brotherly love.

Rivka opposed this approach. Rabbi Hirsh describes the background for this disagreement, in precise detail. "From Lavan's house, Rivka knew the curse that would be the end result of such a division of labor... Physical abundance can only be a source of blessings in a house which is infused with the spirit of Avraham, where the one in charge is guided by the spirit of Avraham. Rivka correctly understood that physical elements that are not linked to the spiritual will lead to a curse. She saw that the blessing could only come through a single leadership, not divided between the two brothers."

Rivka's life experience showed her the great difficulty of the struggle between the spirit and the physical world – how difficult it is to refine

1 the physical material, and how great a measure of spirituality is necessary in order for the physical material to take its rightful position. The constant tension in our lives from this issue is a continuation of the dispute between Rivka and Yitzchak. And as we all know, the Divine guidance ruled that Rivka was right.

POINT OF VIEW The "Religion of Individual Rights" and its Conflict with "Care for Young Children" in Divorce - by Zevulun Orlev

Mother's Care for "Young Children"

This week's Torah portion is filled with relationships between parents and children, and this gives us an opportunity to shine a light on the issue of "child care for the very young" according to the laws of the land. The current law is that in case of a divorce any child will live with his or her mother until the age of six. There are similar laws in many countries in the Western World. The basic approach of this law appears in the tractate of Eiruvin and it has been accepted as halacha by the Rambam and the Shulchan Aruch: "If the divorced woman wants her son to remain with her, he is not to be taken away until he is a full six years old. The father is required to pay for his upkeep, and the child remains with his mother." The book "Tzohar Lachakika" lists the sources of this law, based on responsa and current rulings. Of course, in special cases, if the welfare services come to the conclusion that for various reasons the mother is unfit to care for the child (for reasons of mental or general health, criminal activities, addiction, and so on) a court can decide that a young child will be sent to live with his or her father.

From looking at our traditional sources, it is clear that the preference for the mother is not related to gender-related personal rights but rather takes into account the best interests of the child. Rabbis in the past and lawmakers today have been convinced that the interests of a very young child are best served by being with the mother, since by nature of her makeup she is better equipped to raise a child at this age, from the physical and educational points of view. The best professional people in this realm all agree that a child under six years old is closely linked to his or her mother and needs to be close to her.

The "Religion of Individual Rights" as Opposed to the Good of the Child

I am very sorry to say that, as part of the weakening of the family unit in general, with the full cooperation of the justice system, we are witness to a worrisome erosion of the issue of child welfare. Without any moral or professional foundation, campaigns have started to cancel the existing law, often with the use of violence by divorced fathers and with the application of very heavy pressure. Out of nowhere, we can see an approach of enhanced importance for the rights of a divorced father, to the detriment of the good of the child. As opposed to these fathers, the children have no lobby to defend them, and they have no way of mounting a campaign. The children do not have "central committee members" who apply pressure to ministers and MK's, and they have no access to social media. And the fathers have all of this!

The "Schnitt Committee" was established in 2005 by the Ministry of Justice (not the Welfare or Education Ministries!) in order to comply with the obligations of Israel according to the Treaty of the Rights of Children in Divorce established by the United Nations. In 2011 the committee made a recommendation to abolish the "rule of child custory" and to replace it with "parental responsibility, separately and together." The recommendation was also linked to replacing some legal definitions – "responsibility" instead of "guardianship," and a "parental arrangement" instead of "child custody." The phrase "custody" was also replaced by the concept of "the rights of 2 children with respect to their parents and with respect to the country." It is shocking to think that legal experts gave such rights to a half-year-old baby! They have simply given preference to the rights of the parents at the expense of the children! This is indeed a terrible mistake – parents have obligations, not rights: to raise their children. On the other hand, the child has the right to grow in health, wellbeing, and with love, and to receive the best possible education.

The 2011 recommendations were substantially different from the intermediate recommendations as they were presented in 2008, when the committee refrained from making decisions about these issues. What happened in the interval? There was an aggressive gender-oriented campaign by divorced fathers. I am sure that if the committee had been led by educational and sociological interests and not by legal experts, the final recommendations would have been very different.

Reducing the Power of Women in Divorce Disputes

In the background of this dispute, there is a struggle between divorced couples about alimony payments. The men claim that the mothers take advantage of their custody rights in order to extort high support payments for the children. Cancelling the child custody law will give the fathers a way to put pressure on the women, to give up excessive demands for money in return for having the child put in their care. We should also understand that cancelling the preferred care by the woman will serve to weaken women in general and will complicate their position in the divorce process, which is already an inferior one. Remember that even today the rules of the good of the child allow it to be put in the care of the father if the court feels that this is best for the child.

I was happy to see last week that the opposition parties succeeded in rejecting the proposed private law to cancel the concept of child custody. I was not happy to see that the Justice Ministry plans to propose a government law that will take its place. We must clearly declare that this law is not a matter for a legal dispute of who has the rights to give child care and not a matter for a gender-related dispute but rather nothing less than an issue of what is best for the children. As noted above, this is yet another link in the attempt to weaken the concept of the family, under the protection of the justice system. For example, a few years ago the Supreme Court decided, contrary to existing law, that a same-sex couple can adopt a child. There are many other legal rulings which have undermined the traditional family structure.

Excessive legal maneuvering has taken control of our lives, and it has also penetrated deep into the family traditions. We should become involved in a struggle about this issue, which is a matter of education and sociology and not law. Those of us who are struggling to maintain the Jewish nature and the ethical character of our nation are invited to join in this struggle for the good of the children. The definition of our country as being Jewish requires us to have social laws that are linked to the Jewish nation and its traditions.

* * * A NOTE BY YISRAEL ROZEN * * *

The Reporter in the Newspaper "Bamishpachah" is not an Informer

In the last issue I wrote some very harsh criticism about the newspaper "Bamishpachah," where the assistant editor turned to terrorist organizations with the information that the Chareidim do not ascend to the Temple Mount. This was interpreted by the media as a call to the terrorists to attack the settlers. I wrote that this behavior was "similar to that of a mosser" – an informer.

3 Since the author of the article apologized in his newspaper, and in addition he claims that he never meant at all to suggest that the settlers should be attacked, I apologize. I hereby declare that the man is not to be considered an informer.

SWEETNESS FOR THE SOUL Do You Want to Talk about It? - by Rabbi Itiel Gilady, Lecturer in the School for the Soul and Editor of the Writings of Rabbi Yitzchak Ginzburg

"Are you having a hard time? Would you like to talk about it?" This might be the most hackneyed "psychological" question of all times, but the truth is that the best work of therapists is often done in heart-to-heart talks. And that is what the sages commented about the basic verse which is related to giving spiritual aid, "When the heart has a worry a man should suppress it" [Mishlei 12:25] – "one should talk about it to others" (as if the word used is "yessichena" and not "yashchena"). And the verse indeed ends with, "a good word will make him happy." In order to be happy, it is necessary to have a "good word" – to talk about the situation optimistically. The role of an advisor is not merely for him to say that things are good by himself but rather to guide the conversation and lead the patient into speaking in a proper and helpful way.

Correct speech must be full of faith and humility. Talk about difficulties might come from a feeling that "the world owes me a debt," as an expression of a complaint or to spread an atmosphere of sadness and despair. One should strive for speech full of faith in G-d and His personal and righteous guidance, speech which is brimming with optimism and a feeling that all problems can be fixed. The sages taught us that "the only true 'speech' is prayer." A proper "discussion of the soul" between man and man is accepted by G-d as a prayer for mending the situation and for solving any problems.

In addition, a therapist must help the patient define in a precise way just what is upsetting him or her. The correct approach will not simply search for a definition of the problem to be solved but will try to determine what is lacking in the soul and should be refilled. For example, when I am angry I am also lacking peace and quiet, acceptance of other people, or acceptance of reality based on an outlook of faith. Why is this important? In addition to the fact that "knowing the malady is already half the cure," Chassidut explains that the letters of the alphabet serve as channels through which the soul is revealed. If there is difficulty expressing something, this is not simply a technical problem. It shows that the issue involved does not "flow" smoothly and therefore does not light up the soul. By defining the lack properly we make a path for the soul which allows it to communicate, a route through which in the end the lack will be filled from internal wellsprings, from the root and the foundation of the human soul.

In going beyond the atmosphere of prayer and precision in speaking, deep spiritual therapy has some aspects of "interpreting dreams" – to forage into the realms of the unconscious mind, from which dreams arise, with an ability to weave together disconnected ideas into a whole picture (and that is why modern psychology feels that analyzing dreams can be very important). We have been taught that "all dreams follow the mouth" – a positive explanation causes the dream to be fulfilled in a good way (and vice versa, heaven forbid). Speech that will interpret reality in a positive way is therefore very important.

In addition to speech about faith, which corresponds to prayer, there is also speech which is related to the Torah ("How I love my Torah, it is the topic of my speech all day long" [Tehillim 119:97]. Such Torah constantly interprets the current situation in a positive way. From the point of view of therapy, good "dream interpretation" is the ability to "judge spiritual reality with merit" – to reveal positive motives for the problems and even find a viewpoint which shows that there may be benefits (in the present or

4 in the future) that stem from what at first appeared exclusively to be nothing but problems. A good therapist guides his patients to describe the difficulties and the problems from a positive viewpoint, where without ignoring the problems the same elements can be viewed in a positive light. For example, I am not just lazy, I have a very calm nature. I am not simply angry much of the time, rather I care deeply about what is happening.

For those who want to go into greater depth, what we have been discussing here are the three stages of fixing problems with speech which correspond to stages of mending every spiritual process according to the Baal Shem Tov – surrender, separation, sweetening. Surrender causes a person to accept the Will of G-d and also to turn towards Him out of a feeling of belief that He will be the source of our help; Separation is the process of defining the problem precisely (which in the end leads to revealing the energies of the soul in the proper letters); and Sweetening is the transformation of the difficulties and the darkness into benefit and light – "a good word will make him happy."

A PARSHA INSIGHT Is Yaacov Really a Symbol of Truth? - by Rabbi Asaf Harnoy, Post-Graduate Beit Midrash for Torah and Leadership, Jerusalem

We can attribute many outstanding traits to our Patriarch Yaacov, the father of our nation. But we might wonder if the trait of truth, by which Micha described Yaacov in the verse, "Give truth to Yaacov" [7:20], is what we would really choose as the right symbol for him.

"Your Brother Came with Guile"

There is no person in our nation who does not wonder about the description of Yaacov's fraudulent appearance before his father and disguising himself as his firstborn brother Eisav. Yaacov does not ignore any means at his disposal in the effort to confuse and trick his father, who is old and blind, and to receive the very important blessing. Even if we are very careful in how we word the story of the events, remember that Yitzchak himself defines Yaacov's action as deception, when he says, "Your brother came with guile, and he took your blessing" [Bereishit 27:35]. This passage, like others, forces us to ask ourselves: Could it be a mistake to describe Yaacov with a label of truth?

Factual Truth and Divine Truth

I will tell you a story about Moshe and Aharon, the righteous brothers, the sons of Amram, who saw one Jew strike another one and kill him in cold blood right in front of their eyes. The brothers ran to court to bear witness about the terrible deed that they saw, to make sure that the man would be punished to the full extent of the law. But, before they could say anything at all, the judge opened the proceedings with a declaration – You two are brothers, and I cannot accept your testimony! I absolutely believe every word that you say, the judge continued, but I cannot listen to it, because from Torah law two brothers cannot be witnesses together (see Choshen Mishpat 33).

This story is a clear example of the tremendous gap that can exist between real events, from the point of view of "bare facts," and exalted Divine values, which at times are at odds with real facts. There is no doubt that the Jew in the above story is a murderer, but based on Divine truth, the man will return to his home a free man. In a world of Divine truth, even such great righteous men as Moshe and Aharon are not allowed to give testimony together, because they are related.

Absolute Truth

5 A story is told about Rabbi Natan, a disciple of Rabbi Nachman of Breslev, who was a poor man, living in abject poverty. One day he was offered a job as a rabbi in a city far away from his mentor, Rabbi Nachman. The job would give him an opportunity to leave behind his poverty. Rabbi Natan hesitated, not wanting to leave his mentor. Finally, he went to Rabbi Nachman and asked, "Rabbi, should I take the faraway job?" Rabbi Nachman replied, "The truth is yes, that you should take the job." And then Rabbi Natan asked, "But what is the absolute truth ('emet la'amitah')? And his mentor replied, "The absolute truth is that you must stay here."

There are not many words in Hebrew that have a special meaning when they are repeated one after the other. Such phrases such as "faithful faith" or "heroic heroism" do not have any significance. However, with respect to the attribute of truth, the double phrase emet la'amitah does mean something – it is real, absolute truth.

The relationship between absolute truth and simple truth is similar to the relationship between Divine truth and "physical reality." It can happen that reality, which can be seen by the naked eye, is one thing, while Divine truth, that which the Holy One, Blessed be He, wants – is very different.

We can conclude that Yaacov was a man of truth in the most exalted and broadest sense possible. He knew to follow the truth, but also, in times of need, to abandon it and to revert to absolute truth. Therefore, when he was about to take the blessing from Yitzchak he knew that it was important for him to do everything in his power to get it, even if in terms of physical truth he was not Eisav. From the point of view of Divine truth, he was the only one who deserved to receive the blessings.

Shai Agnon said, "Nothing could be more beautiful than the truth." And it is imperative to stay as far away from untruth. However, we must remember and internalize what we learned from our Patriarch Yaacov – the truth is not always opposed by falsehood. There are times when the truth is opposed by absolute truth.

NOTES FROM THE HAFTARAH "And as to Eisav..." - by Rabbi Oury Cherki, Machon Meir, Rabbi of Beit Yehuda Congregation, Jerusalem

The words of the GRA about the first verses in this week's Haftarah are quite surprising: "Is not Eisav a brother to Yaacov, and I have loved Yaacov? But as to Eisav I have hatred." [Malachi 1:2-3]. Just at this place, where the passage emphasizes the differences between Yisrael and the other nations, the GRA sees a hint of hidden companionship. "As to Eisav – what is secondary with respect to Eisav" [Likutim, at the end of the chapter on the tempest of Eliyahu]. That is, in his deepest roots Eisav has a positive basis which is not to be hated. This is how Rav Kook reacted:

"With respect to foreign beliefs, the goal of the light of Yisrael is not to destroy them and swallow them up, just as we do not plan general destruction of the world, but rather to mend them and raise them up, to remove their impurities, so that as a matter of course they will join together with the source, Yisrael. And the brotherly love between Eisav and Yaacov, as that between Yitzchak and Yishmael, will overcome all of the tumult which evil dragged along, and will transform them into light and eternal kindness." [Igrot Hare'iyah volume 1, 142].

This broad outlook, which sees beyond the current hatred an aspiration for mending the world, is based on the words of Malachi himself later on: "And your eyes will see, and you will say: G-d will grow beyond the border of Yisrael." [1:8]. And this is Rav Kook's response to the approach that views Judaism as an expression of national egotism: "Block out the erroneous thought which confines the highest level of Divine awareness to a limited

6 heritage in a unique geographical area and within a specific kingdom" [Orot, page 115].

This approach goes so far as to attach monotheistic faith to nations which were absolute idol worshippers in the time of the prophet. "For from the east, where the sun rises, until it sets, My name is great among the nations. And in every place incense is sacrificed to me together with a pure Mincha sacrifice. For My name will be great among the nations, G-d says." [1:11]. Clearly, this does not apply to the idolatrous rituals, which are an abomination to G-d, but rather to the hidden meanings at the depths of the religious experience of the other nations. This is in need of refinement so that it will display its internal point of truth (see Rambam, Hilchot Avodah Zara 1:3). Here is how Rabbi Yehuda Halevi expressed, in the introduction to the Kuzari, the high level of respect that Judaism feels for the serious approach of the idol worshippers: "Your intentions are desirable in G-d's eyes, but your actions are not."

With this in the background, Malachi's words as he continues are very harsh: "But you desecrate Me!" [1:12]. The main demand from the nation of Yisrael is to sanctify the name of heaven in the entire world. Sanctifying the name of G-d raises the value of the words of Torah which are disseminated by the senior people of the nation, for by their deeds the name of G-d is made holy: "His mouth has in it a Torah of truth, and no evil crosses his lips, he goes with me in peace and on a level plain, and he has brought many people back from sin. For the lips of the Kohen will guard over knowledge, and they will demand Torah from his mouth, for he is an angel of the G-d of Hosts." [2:6-7].

Rabbi Cherki is the head of Brit Olam – Noahide World Center, Jerusalem

KLEZMER MELODIES A Melody as a Wedding Gift - by Moshe (Mussa) Berlin

Reb Leib Meir Blecher, and disciple of Rabbi Natan, who was in turn the main disciple of Rabbi Nachman of Breslev, was a tinsmith by trade, as can be seen from his last name.

As his name implies, he made metal objects – but only to earn enough money for each day, one at a time. When he decided that he had made enough for the day for himself and his family, he would close his shop and spend the rest of the day studying, teaching Torah, praying, and in contemplation.

When his daughter reached the age of marriage and became engaged, she turned to him to buy her a wedding gown. But he had no money at all.

After much pleading, in response to his daughter's request, Reb Leib Meir went into the fields in solitude, to ask for help from the Almighty. And the Holy One, Blessed be He, did indeed respond. Reb Meir Leib returned to his home with a new melody, since as is well known a melody is clothing for the soul. Reb Leib Meir composed a new song in honor of his daughter. The words of the song were from the Chapter Eishet Chayil: "Oz V'hadar - Strength and majesty are her clothing – and she waits for the last day with joy" [Mishlei 31:25].

According to tradition, the bride and groom were very happy with the tune, more than with any garments that they could have imagined. The guests danced to the notes of this melody for hours and hours, and they asked again and again to have it played. And this is still true till this very day – the same tune is requested and played over and over. And since the chapter Eishet Chayil is recited in many homes on Friday night, the same tune can often be heard then too.

7 The truth is that there is no need to retell legends. In modern times too many songs have been written as wedding presents. One such song was given to Biyamin Mintz as a gift for his daughter's wedding. (The town "Yad Binyamin" was named for Binyamin Mintz.)

The famous composer for Chassidut Gur – Yaacov Talmud – told Binyamin Mintz (who would eventually become the Minister of Posts), "I don't have any money to buy a gift, but I have a melody for you." This tune caught on very quickly, and it became one of the mainstays of the melodies of the Gur dynasty. It was first played at the wedding of Yaacov Mintzer and Brina Mintz.

Shlomo Karlebach composed many songs on the occasion of weddings of his friends/followers/students. They were then given as wedding gifts to the new couples.

Listen to the song " Oz V'Hadar "

HALACHA FROM THE SOURCE Prayers - by The Center for Teaching and Halacha, Directed by Rabbi Yosef Tzvi Rimon (Today's responsa were written by Rabbi Eli Taragin)

(1) Coming Late for Maariv

Question: I came to Maariv late, and the congregation is about to start Shemona Essrei. What should I do?

Answer: The answer to this question involves a very fundamental issue. Which rule is more important – that "the Geulah blessing of Shema should be next to Shemona Essrei" or to pray Shemona Essrei together with the congregation?

Geulah Close to Shemona Essrei in General

"Who is a resident of the world to come? It is one who recites Geulah next to the Shemona Essrei." [Berachot 4b]. The Talmud Yerushalmi compares one who does not keep the two prayers together to a person who knocks on the door of the King's palace but leaves before the King opens the door. When a person accepts the authority of heaven by reciting the Shema he is getting closer to the Holy One, Blessed be He. One of the high points of the link between the Holy One, Blessed be He, and the nation of Yisrael was at the time of the Exodus, which is mentioned at the end of Shema and in the blessings that follow. This close proximity is compared to knocking on the door, which can be followed by an intimate encounter with G-d, in the Shemona Essrei.

There are many indications that the sages felt this proximity was very important. One of them, which is connected to the question before us, is that in spite of the great importance that the sages gave for an individual to pray with the congregation, in the morning they give greater emphasis to the matter of reciting the blessing of the Exodus before the Shemona Essrei. Thus, one who comes late to the morning prayer is required to recite the prayers in their proper sequence even if that means he will not pray together with the congregation. That is, "reciting Geula together with the Shemona Essrei takes precedence" (Responsa Rashba 1:236; Shulchan Aruch Orach Chaim 111:3).

Geulah Close to Shemona Essrei during Maariv

However, the law is different for Maariv. In the Talmud, there is a dispute whether in principle it is necessary to recite Geula close to the Shemona Essrei in Maariv or not (Berachot 4b). The ruling follows the opinion of Rabbi Yochanan – that in Maariv too there is a mitzva to have the two 8 blessings close to each other, as is ruled in the Shulchan Aruch (236:2). However, this requirement is less stringent than it is in the morning. The simplest explanation for this is brought by the Tosafot: "The entire prayer of Maariv is voluntary."

The fact that in Maariv the requirement is less stringent than in Shacharit is seen in the halacha in many ways. For example, in Maariv we are allowed to recite the Kaddish before the Shemona Essrei (Rav Amram Gaon, as quoted by the Tosafot), which is not true in Shacharit. During Maariv, there is a custom for the chazzan to declare between the Kaddish and the Shemona Essrei that a special prayer must be recited, such as Yaaleh V'Yavo, while this is not allowed in Shacharit. (Responsa of the Rashba 1:293; Shulchan Aruch 236:2).

Coming Late to the Prayers

Another consequence of the different level of obligation in the morning and at night is the specific question which we are discussing – a person who arrives when the prayers have already begun. As opposed to Shacharit, where - as written above - the rule that "Geulah and prayer must be together" takes precedence over praying with the congregation, the opposite is true for Maariv, and in this case praying with a group is more important (Rashba Berachot 2a; Shulchan Aruch 236:3). Therefore, "if the person thinks that before the congregation reaches Shemona Essrei he will be able to recite Shema and the blessings, he should do so" [Mishna Berura, 11]. However, if he feels that the congregation will start the Shemona Essrei before he reaches it, then he should wait and recite the Shemona Esrei with the congregation and return to Shema and its blessings later.

It goes without saying that this discussion is at a level of "bedi'avad" – after the fact. A priori, a person should always try to pray with the congregation and in the proper sequence, with the blessings of Shema preceding the Shemona Essrei. In addition, we should note that Kabbalah masters do not allow reciting Shemona Essrei before the Shema in Maariv either. We accept the halachic rulings of the Shulchan Aruch and the Mishna Berura, but as noted here we should certainly make an effort to pray in the proper sequence. It is therefore important to try to get to the synagogue on time or to find a congregation praying at a later time – and to accept the rulings discussed above only if there is no other alternative.

(2) Is a Comment Pertinent to the Prayers Allowed?

Question: As a teacher in school, I unfortunately often find it necessary to tell my students that they should stop talking in the middle of the prayers. Can I speak to them during the recital of the Shema and the blessings of the Shema?

Answer: We will not get into the educational issues involved in when and how it is good to scold children but only discuss the halachic issues involved. The Mishna discusses when a person is allowed to interrupt the Shema and the blessings (Berachot 2:2), and this is summarized as follows:

"Between chapters, one can greet an honored person and reply to everybody. In the middle, one can greet a person whom he fears... and reply to an honored person, even in the middle of a verse, except for the verses 'Shema Yisrael...' and 'Baruch shem kevod...' since he is not allowed to interrupt these two verses at all unless he fears for his life." [Shulchan Aruch 66:1].

Is one also allowed to interrupt in order to show respect for heaven? The Maharam feels that this is prohibited: "Since the person is involved in praising G-d, he should not interrupt the prayer for any other reason of praise" [quoted by the ROSH, Berachot 2:5]. However, the majority of the early commentators (ROSH, note 13, and others) derived from a logical 9 inference (a kal vachomer) that one is indeed allowed to interrupt the prayer: If one can interrupt to pay respects to a human being, it should certainly be permitted in order to show respect for heaven. This is what the Shulchan Aruch indeed rules (ibid, 66:3). We can conclude that one is allowed to interrupt the Shema and the blessings even in the middle of a verse in order to avoid possible harm to the respect for heaven.

The Ritva (Yoma 19b) includes in "respect for heaven" making a comment to a person in order to stop him from violating a prohibition. This is also the ruling of Kaf Hachaim (66:7). This would mean that from the point of view of the strict halacha one can comment to a student even in the middle of a verse of Shema, on condition that this will lead to a decrease in talking during the prayers. It is better to give a hint or a signal without actually talking, and it is also better to finish the verse and even the chapter if possible (Mishna Berura, ibid, 10).

However, as we noted above, we must carefully weigh whether to make a comment at all, and decide if this will enhance the "respect for heaven" or if it might have an opposite effect. There are times when any speaking can diminish the "respect for heaven," because it is important to show a child by example that we never speak during Shema. We should therefore comment only in very exceptional circumstances, to avoid doing more harm than good.

NATURE AND THE TORAH PORTION Beauty - by Dr. Moshe Raanan, Herzog College and the Jerusalem College for Women

"And the people of the place asked about his wife, and he said, she is my sister, because he was afraid to say she was his wife – lest the people of this place murder him because of Rivka, because she was pleasant to look at" [Bereishit 26:7].

The verse, "Attraction is false and beauty is vanity, a woman with a fear of G-d is the one who should be praised" [Mishlei 31:30], which is recited every Shabbat eve, is the flip side of the coin with respect to many other verses which praise the beauty of men and women. Rivka is described by the following: "And the maiden was very pleasant to look at..." [Bereishit 24:16], and this week's Torah portion tells us about the difficulties that this created. Before this, Avraham encountered a similar problem. "And when he came close to Egypt he said to his wife Sarai, Behold, I know that you are a beautiful woman." [12:11].

Other women who are described as beautiful include Rachel, Avigayil, Tamar (Avshalom's sister), Avishag, and Esther. Also there are men whose handsome appearance was noted in the Tanach. For example, we are told, "And Yosef was pleasant looking and handsome" [39:6]. We learn about a handsome appearance as a source of attraction in the case of the young girls who met Shaul when he was looking for his lost donkeys. As is written, "He had a son named Shaul, handsome and good, and no other man from Bnei Yisrael was as good as he, from the shoulders up, taller than all the others of the nation." [Shmuel I 9:2]. Rashi explains, "They stretched out their conversation so that they would be able to look at Shaul's handsome appearance." Avshalom is also described as being handsome: "There was no other man as handsome as Avshalom in all of Yisrael, worthy of praise. From head to toe he had no blemish." [Shmuel II 14:25].

Philosophers, artists, and scientists have been trying to define the trait of "beauty" from the very time that philosophy was developed. Marking a person as "beautiful" because of individual traits or with respect to social criteria is usually based on a combination of "internal beauty" which may often include psychological factors (personality, intelligence, charm, kindness, personal attractiveness, honesty, and more) and "external beauty" (externally attractive features) which consists of physical attributes that

10 seem esthetically satisfying. The criteria for beauty have changed during human history with changes in cultural values. From looking at drawings and pictures from various past eras we can learn about different standards for beauty, but there are some factors that have remained constant throughout. In this article, I will briefly summarize two theories that have been accepted in the past by researchers, without going into my own opinion about their validity in general or with respect to the culture in which I grew up.

As opposed to the animals, man is motivated to a great extent by beliefs and attitudes which are the result of education and life experiences, but his behavior is also influenced by genetic and physiological factors of which he is not aware. For example, it is clear that stressful situations due to physiological events like thirst, hunger, or weariness can influence human behavior. Many studies indicate that aside from cultural differences between various societies and between individuals within them, there are universal factors which we are not aware of, evidently of a genetic nature, which influence whether a face is considered "beautiful" or not. One of the main characteristics of physical "beauty" is called "averageness." When many pictures of a large number of people are used as the basis for a single average picture, it is usually perceived as being close to the ideal and is considered attractive. This phenomenon was discovered by accident in 1883, when Francis Galton combined pictures of vegetarians or (in another case) criminals in order to determine if either group had distinctive features. Galton found that the average faces were more attractive than each of the original pictures. Researchers who repeated these observations using more sophisticated techniques, such as computer simulation, reached similar conclusions.

It is generally accepted that for creatures which multiply by sexual means there is an innate advantage to attraction by a mate with common or average features, since this serves to make sure that the potential mate has no genetic or acquired blemishes. Support for the claim that this is a trait that exists from birth comes from observations of babies between the ages of 2 and 8 months, who prefer to look at faces which adults find attractive. The fact that this preference appears at such an early age precludes the possibility that it is a result of social influence.

Another factor which has been found to contribute to having a face being considered as "beautiful" is the degree of symmetry. This means that one half of an object is identical to the other half. Research in this field was carried out mainly with various living creatures from different suborders. Examples would be the symmetry of the wings of dragonflies and damselflies, and the wings of various birds. These studies show a correlation between the level of symmetry in the limbs of individuals and other traits that enhance survivability. It seems that when competing for a mate individuals with a high symmetry have an advantage. The fact that the females instinctively find the symmetrical males more attractive shows that symmetry is an indication of preferred genetic traits. Symmetry is a sign of improved coping with environmental difficulties. An example would be a food shortage, which might lead to a lack of symmetry. Many researchers have also adopted this reasoning with respect to human beings, claiming that a symmetrical face is relatively more attractive because it helps the individual find a mate with better genetic qualities.

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STRAIGHT TALK It is Said that there is Halacha in the World - by Rabbi Yoni Lavie, Manager, "Chaverim Makshivim" Website

11 Until about seven years ago, whoever bought a cellular phone in Israel was forced to sign a stringent contract for 36 months with the company that he had chosen. To transfer to another company or even to another phone plan was difficult, expensive, and sometimes even impossible. However, since then a revolution has taken place in this field, and today the situation is completely different. The clients are free to hop around among the various options, without any long-range obligations. This transformation is very visible in the realm of cellular phones, but in reality it exists within the entire realm of retail business. The client is master, and many merchants compete for his heart and for the contents of his wallet. There can be no doubt that this provides great benefits for the consumers. The system encourages competition in the market, leading to significantly lower prices and improved service.

If we take a look around, we can see that this lack of any obligation and the consequent behavior that is ruled by considerations of comfort and incidental benefit has broadened out to other areas in life, some of which are much more serious. Many students who begin to study a subject in the universities abandon it after a year or two and try their luck with another subject. A substantial number of those who begin some sort of job move within the first five years to another company and often to a completely different type of work.

This phenomenon of hopping is of course also prevalent in the realm of forming couples. While in the past family values were highly valued, and the hope to build a life and a family with a stable partnership was the general rule, today this is true only in very conservative circles. In the world in general people spend the second and then the third decade of their lives in an unending chain of changing relationships, when often their only goal is to have "a partner for the night," with no thoughts of establishing any long-term relationships. The development of readily available contraceptives has also eased the fear of unwanted pregnancies, and links between people have become superficial and "internet-driven." Words like obligations, dedication, and institutionalization sound strange, if not downright threatening.

The Burden of the Path of Halacha

There is no doubt that the spiritual status of the generation and the cultural atmosphere which molds normative behavior has not bypassed the spiritual realm and the religious world. While it is true that in this case there is a built-in obligation and agreement to accept the will of a Divine authority, it seems likely that this too will become something of a "club of members," with common interests and motives mostly driven by experiences and sociological effects. You enjoy the feeling of belonging to a pleasant and positive society, and halachic actions might simply become yet another consumer product which you can move from the shelf into the shopping cart of your life or leave behind, depending on your desires and emotional state at any given moment.

What got me thinking about this issue was a full-color lead story in one of the prominent weekend newspapers of our sector describing "the phenomenon of religious women who remove their head coverings many years after they were married." Let us put aside for now the question of whether there really is such a phenomenon that can serve as a worthy subject for an article. We will also set aside the question of why the newspaper decided to study this phenomenon and not its mirror image – there are many more women who have chosen to begin covering their hair many years after getting married, even though their mothers and the society in which they themselves grew up did not necessarily observe this custom.

For now, I want to concentrate on the main theme of the article and on the way of thinking on which it is based. The matter of covering the head can be looked at in many ways, including aspects that are social, spiritual, and 12 feministic, but its basis is clearly halacha. There is a Torah obligation for a married woman to cover her hair. However, the problem is that one who reads the article will be forced to wade through thousands of words before running into the word "halacha." The very basic question of how committed we are to observing the commands of G-d is shunted aside to a very marginal place in the article, if it appears at all. A number of progressive women who took the "brave" step of throwing the archaic head covering away must cope with the profound questions of the reporter, all of which are advanced in social and cultural terms, much as might be asked about the subjects of remodeling the kitchen or good ideas for spending a vacation.

The dynamic reporter wants the women he interviewed to respond to the challenges of such questions as: "How did you make your decision? At what exact moment did you come to this conclusion?" Or, "Did those around you accept your decision with understanding? Didn't the fact that you removed your hair covering cause religious friends to distance themselves from you?" Not for a moment did it occur to the reporter to ask the question that stands out above all: "How does a religious woman, who believes in the Creator, suddenly decide to press 'DELETE' and publicly begin to ignore a Torah commandment? What about other mitzvot like keeping Shabbat or eating pig? Will you also use similar deep and substantial reasoning about such matters, like when you said, 'I didn't want my nonreligious friends at work to label me as a religious woman, so I decided to leave my hair covering at home.'?"

"I am Religious as Far as I am Concerned"

In utter silence, under our very noses, the "cellular revolution" is taking control and beginning to shatter the spiritual realm too. Without our seeing it, the language of consumerism and opportunism is also penetrating into the world of religion and halacha, while we are beginning to forget the basic fact and our basic declaration as people of faith: We accept the yoke of heaven. Our channel-hopping approach and our constant search for one sale after another cause us to forget that "we are working for Him, and He is not working for us!" We forget that the essence of faith is to open up to something that is exalted and greater than you are, while we are willing to ignore lower-level desires and urges in order to enhance our relationship.

It is true that a generation which is flooded with information and whose technological achievements give the people the feeling that they control everything might find it hard to belittle itself in deference to something that is greater and more exalted than it is (and this generation therefore shows less respect for teachers and parents than ever before). However, if we have also transformed the link to G-d into a "popular request program" and the spiritual world into a "supermarket of experiences" where you take what you want and throw away the rest, the time has come to admit that we have been infected by a dangerous virus, and that it is necessary for a thorough housecleaning, and perhaps even for a "reset." We must go back to being dedicated and faithful Jews who are willing to cancel our will in the face of His will, and remember that this is exactly like the relationship of any couple. "Commitment" is not an ugly word. The opposite is true – this is what truly binds you with great power to the One you believe in, and you truly love Him.

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EXHIBITION ABSTRACTS Two Seats on the Throne of Eliyahu - by Heichal Shlomo Museum - The Center for Jewish Tradition

"This is the throne of Eliyahu the Prophet, may his memory be blessed," the mohel announces right before a circumcision.

13 Many very special chairs were designed in the Diaspora for the angel of the circumcision. Some of them have one seat, while others have two seats (not necessarily for twins). In this case, one seat is meant for the sandak, who holds the baby on his lap, and the other is for Eliyahu.

A double chair in the Heichal Shlomo museum was made from two different sections which were made in different times. The backrest was made in about the year 1600 in the city of Paltov (in Prussia). It was rescued from a synagogue that burned down in a pogrom. The original seats were destroyed, and the existing seats were made in Berlin in 1913.

We bless the young child by saying, "Let the newborn grow." Let us bless this chair with a different blessing: "Let this old chair be preserved as if it were new."

RIDDLE OF THE WEEK by Yoav Shelosberg, Director of "Quiz and Experience"

Toldot Here is what two relatives said: Remove "my head" (the first letter of my name) and you will get the reason for the name. Who are we? (Hint: the reason for one of the names does not appear in Toldot.)

Answers for last week: The riddle was: The blessing to the slave "this week" will be given to the master "next week." - The blessing is the phrase "Beruch Hashem" – blessed by G-d – which appears only twice in the entire Tanach. - In Chayei Sarah, the slave is blessed by Lavan: "And he said, come, you who are blessed by G-d, why should you stand outside after I made room in the house and prepared a place for the camels?" [Bereishit 24:31]. - The slave calls Yitzchak his master: "And she asked the slave: Who is that man who is coming towards us in the field? And the slave said, He is my master." [24:65]. - In Toldot, Avimelech and his military chief Fichol bless Yitzchak: "Do not be bad to us after we have not harmed you and we have only done good for you, and we have sent you away in peace. Now you are blessed by G-d." [26:29].

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* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * SHABBAT-ZOMET is an extract from SHABBAT-B'SHABBATO, a weekly bulletin distributed free of charge in hundreds of synagogues in Israel. It is published by the Zomet Institute of Alon Shevut, Israel, under the auspices of the National Religious Party. Translated by: Moshe Goldberg To subscribe: http://www.zomet.org.il/eng/?pg=subscribe&CategoryID=165 Visit the Zomet Institute web site: http://www.zomet.org.il Contact Zomet with comments about this bulletin or questions on the link between modern technology and halacha at: [email protected] Or: Phone: +972-2-9931442; FAX: +972-2-9931889 (Attention: Dan Marans) * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

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