VIVIENNE Is a Female Court Jester with the Royal Court of King Louis IV of France

FOOL FOR LOVE

VIVIENNE is a female Court Jester with the Royal Court of King Louis IV of France.

She speaks with a French accent (‘the’ becomes ‘ze’ etc) and moves acrobatically around the stage

She wears dirty baggy pants a puffy shirt and a ragged Jesters hat.

There is a basket on the stage

VIVIENNE:

Bonjour people of France!

And to you King Louis the fourth!

And your Spanish wife Queen Marie Therese – the fat!

I am Vivienne the Dim Witted, your former Fool to this Royal court, but since spending time in the dungeon...I’ve been somewhat in between gigs.

As you know I have been sentenced to death by this razor sharp guillotine, where my head will end up in this basket.

It seems I am as doomed as the Do Do.

But I do have some final words…

Although I have been accused of many things, I am happy to announce that my juggling days are over!

Especially to you - Archbishop of Burgandy.

Your holiness, the incident with the kitchen knives was unfortunate and one that I regret. How was I to know you couldn’t catch? Just quietly, I think the pirate look suits thee!

(She makes a pirate face) Har har! Not funny? Okay take my head then…

She bends over the basket below the guillotine

But wait! Just because I’m French doesn’t mean I have to give up so easily! Let me provide the Royal Court of France with one last show. The modern art of… the sock puppet!

VIVIENNE turns her back and put two puppets on her hands. She turns back. One puppet wears a crown and one has a Jester’s hat on like her own. She changes her voice appropriate to each character

1 Louis: ‘I am King Louis!!!…the greatest King that France has ever seen!’

Vivienne: ‘And I am Vivienne…the dimmest fool that France has ever seen!’

(Whispering to the audience) All characters are fictitious. Any resemblance to persons alive or (soon to be) dead is purely co-incidental!

Louis: ‘So little Vivienne…how about you give me a kiss – a French kiss?’

Vivienne: ‘Oh Louis…I didn’t know you cared’

Louis: ‘I didn’t know I did either!’

Vivienne: ‘But sire don’t you love me?’

Louis: (Laughingly) ‘Love? The established Louis dynasty has no need for love. All we need is some Royal Rumpy Pumpy!’

The Louis puppet starts to get amorous with the Vivienne puppet

Vivienne: ‘But what about your new Queen Marie Therese?’

Louis: ‘That fat Spanish trophy? She’s as warm as a dead fish. Now give me a kiss and let me put my baguette in your oven!’

Vivienne: ‘Oh your majesty if the people of France ever found out you could lose your throne!’

Louis: ‘Don’t worry fool, if Marie Therese finds out you will lose your head!’

Vivienne: (Shock) MY HEAD!

VIVIENNE throws off the sock puppets

That’s right brothers and sisters of France! The play! The play’s the thing wherein I will catch the conscience of a king!

King Louis IV is nothing but a gigolo impostor!

So now let my trial be the spark, which ignites the revolution! Let us rise up against this tyranny! Viva la France!!!

Viva la…

VIVIENNE waits for the revolution to start.

Awkward silence

2 (Unamused) Okay…you can wait till after my death.

She moves her head over the basket again

Rightio Mr Executioner let her rip…but wait…I have some final words!

She looks up thinking

You can take my head…but you will never take…MY FREEDOM!!!

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