No Name Calling Week

No Name Calling Week Lesson 1 Check In- Do you think bullying is a serious issue why or why not? Aim: How can we understand the meaning of bullying? OBJECTIVES: -Students will understand the definition of bullying -Students will identify and define the different types of bullying -Students will explore their beliefs about bullying

TIME: 1-2 sessions MATERIALS: Chart Paper, Markers, Survey, Bullying Statistics

PROCEDURE: 1. Review the definition of Bullying-Being mean to others, on purpose, to hurt them or their feelings(“intended to hurt”) It is “repeated” and the person bullying others is perceived to have more power (“unequal power and control”) via size, number, social status, ability, economic resources 2. Organize the class into 3 groups. Provide each group with chart paper and markers. 3. Inform students that Bullying can be physical, verbal or emotional. Assign a “bullying behavior” to each group and ask them to list examples. 4. Each group reports back and discuss their responses. Typical Responses may be…. Physical Bullying- (Hurting someone’s body) Hair pulling, biting, hitting, kicking, pushing, physical attacks, stealing, damaging someone’s stuff, attacking people, carrying weapons. Verbal Bullying- (Hurting someone’s feelings) Name calling, teasing, abusive language, sexual remarks or jokes, threats, abusive telephone calls, rumors, racial slurs, rudeness, bossing people around, gossip, insults, lying Emotional Bullying- (Hurting someone in a relationship sense) manipulating relationships, ruining friendships, rude gestures and faces, excluding, ignoring, isolating, malicious notes or emails, intimidation, making people feel helpless, making people feel inferior, embarrassing people, frightening people, rumors, gossip, humiliating people, extortion. Note: There is a crossover between emotional bullying and the other categories. Students may have some difficulty identifying the difference between them. 5. Inform students that they are going to take a survey about bullying. Remind them that their responses should be as honest as possible. 6. Once survey is complete review student responses. 7. Discussion Questions- a. What did you notice about everyone’s responses? b. Is bullying more common than you think? c. Do you think bullying is a normal part of life and it helps to build character? 8. After students respond to the last discussion question advisor can say “Some people like to believe that being bullied helps you build character to face trials in life. These people do not understand bullying. Bullying is about hurting someone and causing them to feel devalued. If bullying builds character, then the sort of character it builds is very negative. Bullying can damage a person’s self esteem and make them reserved or distrustful. Bullying does not build any kind of positive character for the person bullying or being bullied”. 9. Advisor will then say “Now that we have reviewed your survey results we are going to look at the results of the First National Survey on this subject. Bullying is increasingly viewed as an important factor to youth violence, for example, case studies of the shooting at Colombine HS and other US Schools have suggested that bullying is a factor in many of the incidents. The results of this survey are going to surprise you.” 10. Cut up the statistics into strips and have students pick them out of an envelope and have students move to one side of the room if they think their strip is true or the other side if they think it’s false. Once all the students have chose what side of the room to be on let them know that all of the statements are true. Discussion Questions 1. Are you surprised with the results? 2. How do you fell about the National Survey results? 3. Do you think these results are similar to those of HALA? Student Survey on Name Calling/Bullying APPENDIX 1 INSTRUCTIONS: Please answer the following questions about bullying. There are no right or wrong answers. This survey is mostly about name-calling and verbal bullying, which refers to unwanted and hurtful words. Name-calling and verbal bullying is often done on purpose, but in some cases may be unintentional. The survey also asks some questions about bullying in general, which includes name-calling as well as other types of unwanted behavior, The survey asks about your experiences at school, which includes what happens on the way to and from school.

1.What is your experience with name-calling or verbal bullying at school (during any school year)? I have experienced bullying: ___ frequently ___ sometimes ___ hardly ever ___ never I have witnessed bullying: ___ frequently ___ sometimes ___ hardly ever ___ never I have carried out bullying: ___ frequently ___ sometimes ___ hardly ever ___ never

2. During which grade(s) or school year(s) has name-calling or verbal bullying been the greatest problem (check all that apply)? ___ 1st Grade ___ 2nd Grade ___ 3rd Grade ___ 4th Grade ___ 5th Grade ___ 6th Grade ___ 7th Grade ___ 8th Grade ___ 9th Grade

3. What has your experience been with teasing or name-calling at school in the past month? I have experienced it: ___ never ___ 1-2 times ___ 3-4 times ___ more than 4 times I have witnessed it: ___ never ___ 1-2 times ___ 3-4 times ___ more than 4 times I have carried it out: ___ never ___ 1-2 times ___ 3-4 times ___ more than 4 times

4. How often has someone said something cruel to others at school in the past month? I have experienced it: ___ never ___ 1-2 times ___ 3-4 times ___ more than 4 times I have witnessed it: ___ never ___ 1-2 times ___ 3-4 times ___ more than 4 times I have carried it out: ___ never ___ 1-2 times ___ 3-4 times ___ more than 4 times

5. How often has someone been threatened or verbally intimidated at school in the past month? I have experienced it: ___ never ___ 1-2 times ___ 3-4 times ___ more than 4 times I have witnessed it: ___ never ___ 1-2 times ___ 3-4 times ___ more than 4 times I have carried it out: ___ never ___ 1-2 times ___ 3-4 times ___ more than 4 times

6. How often have negative rumors, gossip or secrets been told about someone at school in the past month? I have experienced it: ___ never ___ 1-2 times ___ 3-4 times ___ more than 4 times I have witnessed it: ___ never ___ 1-2 times ___ 3-4 times ___ more than 4 times I have carried it out: ___ never ___ 1-2 times ___ 3-4 times ___ more than 4 times

7. If name-calling or verbal bullying has taken place, check each item below that reflects the type of comment you heard. ___ Names based on race or ethnicity ___ Names based on religion ___ Names based on sexual orientation ___ Names based on how “masculine” or feminine” students appear or behave ___ Names based on body size or shape (height, weight, etc.) ___ Names based on clothing worn ___ Names based on level of physical attractiveness ___ Names based on intelligence ___ Names based on physical ability ___ Names based on who one’s friends are or how someone “fits in” socially ___ Names based on family structure or about family members ___ Curses and other generally hostile or mean comments ___ Other (please list): ______

8. How often has someone been left out of activities or have others refused to play/socialize with someone at school in the past month? I have experienced it: ___ never ___ 1-2 times ___ 3-4 times ___ more than 4 times I have witnessed it: ___ never ___ 1-2 times ___ 3-4 times ___ more than 4 times I have carried it out: ___ never ___ 1-2 times ___ 3-4 times ___ more than 4 times

9.In the past month, name-calling or verbal bullying has taken place in the following places (check all that apply): I experienced bullying.. I witnessed bullying… I carried out bullying… In the classroom In the lunchroom In the hallways In the gym/locker room Walking/Traveling to or from school Other…

10. When name-calling or bullying occurred, what was the student’s response (check all that apply)? When I experienced bullying…. When I witnessed bullying, the person who was bullied…. Ignored bullying Tried to avoid the situation Walked away from or left the situation Verbally told the person who bullied to stop Used insulting or teasing words back at the person who bullied Cried or expressed fear in another way Hit or physically reacted to the person who bullied Told an adult at school Told a family member/friend Told no one or did nothing Other..

11. Overall, how would you rate the efforts of adults at your school to prevent students from picking on one another? ___ very good ___ good ___ poor ___ don’t know

12. Overall, how would you rate the efforts of adults to make your school a safe place in which to learn? ___ very good ___ good ___ poor ___ don’t know

13. Overall, I believe there is a problem with bullying at my school. ___ agree very much ___ agree ___ disagree ___ disagree very much

14. Most students who get bullied bring it on themselves. ___ agree very much ___ agree ___ disagree ___ disagree very much 15. Other things I have to say about bullying at school: ______

Bullying Statistics

1 out of 4 kids are bullied

77% of students are bullied mentally, verbally, & physically

77% of students said they had been bullied. 14%of those who were bullied said they experienced severe reactions to the abuse 1 out of 5 kids admits to being a bully, or doing some “ bullying” 8% of students miss 1 day of class per month for fear of bullies 43% fear harassment in the bathroom at school 100,000 students carry a gun to school 28% of youths who carry weapons have witnessed violence at home A poll of teens ages 12-17 proved that they think violence has increased at their schools 282,000 students are physically attacked in secondary schools each month More youth violence occurs on school grounds as opposed to on the way to school Every 7 minutes a child is bullied. 4% Adult Intervention Peer Intervention 11% 85% NO intervention Teenager say revenge is the strongest motivation for school shootings 42% of kids have been bullied while online. 1 in 4 have had it happen more than once 58% of kids admit someone has said mean or hurtful things to them online. More than 4 out of 10 say it has happened more than once. 53% of kids admit having said something mean or hurtful to another person online. More than 1 in 3 have done it more than once

LESSON 2: REFLECTIONS Check In: Some students who are bullied change schools. Is that a solution to the problem why or why not? OVERVIEW: Four short pieces—a story, two essays, and a poem—provide students with personal reflections on name-calling by young people who have been targeted because of their race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, gender expression, and mental ability. Strategies are offered for using these reflections to explore the effects of name-calling and build empathy in students. This lesson can be used to establish a safe classroom space and respectful language with which to discuss sensitive issues before talking about actual incidents of name-calling in students’ lives.

OBJECTIVES: • To utilize personal reflection as a tool for exploring name-calling and bullying • To build empathy and compassion for others among students • To create a safe classroom atmosphere and respectful language for talking about name-calling and bullying • To encourage students to apply what they have learned to their own lives

AGE/EXPERIENCE LEVEL: Grades 5-9; some of the pieces include sensitive subject matter

TIME: 45 minutes to 3 hours or one to four class periods, depending upon how the material is used

MATERIALS: Student handouts: My Name is Osama, Breaking the Chain of Stigma, But Names Will Never Hurt Me, and I Am the One PROCEDURE: This lesson includes four separate pieces of writing with discussion questions that encourage students to reflect on the problem of name-calling and bullying. They can be used in a variety of ways to encourage discussion about name-calling and to build empathy in your students. Below are suggestions for ways to utilize the texts: 1. Read one piece together as an entire class, either silently or aloud depending upon the needs of your students. Discuss the questions at the end of the piece with your students. Repeat this process with the other pieces on different days to build compassion and increase students’ comfort discussing sensitive issues.

2. If your students are able to discuss sensitive issues independently and with respect, divide them into small groups of 4-6 students and provide each group with a different reading. Ask them to read together and discuss the questions at the end. Have each group prepare a brief presentation to share with the entire class that summarizes the reading and encapsulates the lessons learned.

3. Assign one or more of the readings as homework and ask students to write their answers to the questions at the end of each piece. Encourage students to read and discuss the pieces with their family members so that your work around name-calling is reinforced at home.

4. After reading one or more pieces, challenge students to write their own personal reflections that explore their experiences with name-calling. You may ask for volunteers to read their reflections to the class, but only if a safe and respectful environment exists in which to discuss personal experiences.

5. Ask students to do further reading and research on one or more of the topics addressed in the readings, and to write an essay about what they have learned. Topics include: September 11th and prejudice against people of Arab and Middle Eastern descent; the stigma associated with mental illness; racial and ethnic-based stereotyping; and bias based on sexual orientation and gender roles in our society.

Read the story below about an Iraqi boy’s experiences with name-calling and prejudice in the U.S. during a time of conflict in the Middle East. Think about and discuss the questions that follow.

My Name is OSAMA I can’t reach the top of the little apple tree any more. Me and Bebe planted it when it was just a green stick. Bebe is my grandmother. I was five years old then. I am twelve now. In the fall, these flower buds will be apples, but I won’t be here to pick them.I give old man Mansoor six dinars for bread for my whole family, for our goodbye dinner. All of mycousins will be there, fifteen of them. That will be fun. And sad. I eat a flat little loaf on the wayhome. Nobody will care. It smells great and the birds are singing. Walking home I stop at our best swimming spot. Our place: Qays and me. Mother says the Euphrates River is not clean, but we don’t care. We strip down to our boxer shorts and jump in on hot, hot days. We sit on the rocks and make up stories about our namesakes who lived a thousand years ago. Osama was a leader of youth. He was kind and strong. My great grandfather was also named Osama. Qais, the famous one, read poetry late into the night to his beloved, Layla. The Qais I know is a poet, too. He imagines the two girls we will someday marry, and both of them are beautiful. I am glad Bebe is still asleep this morning at our house and cannot see me listening to the water. Smelling the bread. Touching apple blossoms. She always says, “Poets die poor. Be strong like your namesake!” It was only two weeks ago. Father has just finished building the new house and we have just moved in. I guess it stood out or something because he did not use old bricks. It is three AM and the soldiers tell my father to put up on the wall right now this slick poster of Saddam Hussein. My father does it. They search through everything in our home, messing it up with their sticks. They take the brass bowl with Mother’s earrings in it. Then they leave. Father says, “Go back to bed.” He has a dark bruise on his cheek. Two weeks after the soldiers came to our house we are in Turkey. We said goodbye to our family, our friends, my school. To old man Mansoor the baker. We live in Turkey for half a year, then in Canada, staying in these tiny apartments. I practice my English. I’m thirteen years old and I’m very excited when our jet circles over New York City, in America, land of the free and home of the brave. I want to hang up the photos in frames of my cousins and friends in Iraq on the wall but my father says, “No nails. Is not your wall. Is your Uncle wall.” I share Mohammed’s room. Mohammed is my six-year-old cousin. Father works at night in a big restaurant. We have breakfast together, and he practices his English, which is not as good as Mother’s. Mother works days at the drug store. “Maybe we can have an apartment of our own next year,” says Mother. Todd says, “Your mom is a rag head.” He doesn’t know my mother has a Ph.D. in pharmacology. She taught my pediatrician at Baghdad University. Todd says, “Your father forces your mother to wear a bag on her head. Your father must be a bully.” My mother wears a hijab because she likes to. But I don’t say anything to Todd. He bugs me and says bad words. I ignore him. But then after September eleventh he get really mean and it starts to make me really mad. What he says is this: “Osa-ma! Osa-ma! Osa-ma!” The hallway is crowded before lunch and Todd is with two other boys. “Hey. Osama Yo Mama,” he says, “Is that dynamite under your shirt? Your mother wears a hood because she is a terrorist. Your mother is a terrorist.” Something breaks in me and I turn around and push Todd hard and he falls against the locker and sits on the floor and a thin line of blood is on his upper lip. I look at the other two boys to come at me with their fists, but they just stand and stare at me. The hallway has stopped moving and everybody nearby is quiet. Mr. Allen looks at me hard from across his desk. He is quiet for a time and then says, “Fights are not tolerated in this school. The consequence of fighting on school property is suspension. Several students have said that Todd did not even touch you.” Suspension. I wonder how my parents will punish me for putting this shame on the family. My father’s family, my uncle’s family. My cousins in Iraq will hear of this. Osama goes to America, gets into trouble. Shame on the family name. “Do you want to tell me what happened today?” asks Mr. Allen. Before I can answer, the door of the principal’s office opens a bit and Mr. Bagley, the hall monitor, sticks his head through. I stand up out of respect. It is a habit. “Please sit down,” says Mr. Allen. “No weapons,” says Mr. Bagley. Oh! They checked my locker for weapons! I am not a criminal! The door closes. I can’t be silent any more. I shout, “Todd says Osa-ma! Osa-ma! He calls me greaseball! For five months he insults me! Today he says my mother is a terrorist. It is not a rag, it is not a bag, it is called a hijab! My mother wears a hijab!” Mr. Allen looks at me for a long time. Then his chair turns and he looks out the window. The window is open. It is quiet because everybody is in class. The ropes on the flag pole go slap, slap, slap. Sounds like a ship. Mr. Allen turns back. He says, “Osama, I must suspend you for two weeks. But I will talk to Todd and his parents and the other two boys and their parents.” He reaches across the desk and touches with two fingers this small glass soccer ball. “It must be tough having a first name like Osama. With everything happening in the news, I mean. Osama, my grandfather’s last name was not Allen. It was Alfirevich. He changed it to Allen to make it sound more English. More American. But sometimes I think about changing it back.” Mr. Allen smiles. “Just to honor my grandfather.” The door opens. The secretary says, “His father is here.” I stand up. My cheeks are wet but I am not crying any more. This story is reprinted with permission from the May/June 2002 issue of Middle Level Learning, a publication of the National Council for the Social Studies.

QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION: 1. Why does Todd call Osama’s mother a “rag head”? What assumptions or stereotypes might he have about Iraqi people? Where do you think those ideas come from? 2. What are some of the cultural traditions that Osama gets teased about? Why do you think people react negatively to customs that are different from their own? 3. How is the term “terrorist” used to insult Osama’s family? Why is this particular slur so hurtful? What has happened in the world since September 11, 2001 to fuel prejudice toward people of Arab and Middle Eastern descent? Have you observed this type of prejudice? 4. Osama tries to ignore the taunting at first, but eventually gets physical with the boys who won’t stop bullying him. Do you think Osama was right to use violence? How else might he have dealt with the bullying? 5. Do you think that Osama deserved to be suspended for his actions? Did the other boys receive appropriate consequences? Do you think that Mr. Allen has solved the problem? Why or why not?

Read the reflection below by a student who shares how she deals with name-calling and stereotypes associated with mental illness. Think about and discuss the questions that follow.

Breaking the Chain of Stigma Scientifically and genetically, I may have a mental illness. Call it whatever you want. Just don’t call me insane, weird, or crazy. If you do, you are telling a lie that perpetuates the stigma people with mental illnesses face every day in the United States. Although we have come a long way since the era of the asylum, we still have some unpaved roads to follow.I often cringe when I hear the word “psycho” used in reference to someone’s behavior that is justa little different from what people consider to be normal.The funny thing is, nobody knows what is normal.Normal could mean one thing here in the U.S. and a completely different thing in Asia. Genes and chemical imbalances in the brain cause most mental illnesses. This is nobody’s fault. However, when people perpetuate the chain of stigma, they are making everyone feel worse. Mental health is an important issue to me because it is one I faced throughout high school, when I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Through the conferences I’ve attended and the volunteer jobs I’ve worked, I have met many other people with mental illnesses. They strike me as some of the most brilliant and creative people I have ever come in contact with. In addition, their personal courage to face each day even under the worst circumstances says something about the tenacity of the human condition. Yet stigma still prevails. We go on to label people crazy and weird over and over again. In the field of mental health advocacy, it’s become somewhat of a cliché, but it’s true that illnesses such as depression are illnesses just the same as cancer or diabetes. Nobody wants to have an illness, yet people with depression often are characterized as lazy and self-indulgent. They are told to just snap out of it. You wouldn’t tell somebody with diabetes that they need to “snap out of it.” What makes illnesses of the mind so different? The most frustrating thing relating to the stigma of mental illnesses is that many people don’t seek treatment because they are afraid of what other people will think. The treatments available today are very effective, and it is disturbing to think of the numbers of people who are simply too embarrassed to get help. As a society, we need to do something about this, fast. At times, I have felt like I could not be myself simply because of my history. For example, there was the question of disclosure on my college applications. I wondered if the admissions committee would think I was unstable if I told them about my conditions. In the end, it was a risk I ended up taking. But I am more daring than some. High school was hard for me, but I ended up coming out of it alive and well. People with mental illnesses can do anything.I persevered and became the salutatorian of my high school class, even though I was too depressed to go to school much of the time. Think before you use hurtful words to label people you don’t even know. The results can be devastating, and you probably wouldn’t want to be treated in the same way.

This piece was written by an 18 year-old student and is published by Tolerance.org at http://www.tolerance.org/teens/stories/article.jsp?p=0&ar=62.

QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION: 1. How do you hear words like “insane,” “crazy,” “psycho,” or “mental” used on a day-to-day basis? How do you think this feels to someone with a mental illness? 2. What assumptions do you make about people with mental illness? Do you assume that they are less intelligent or talented than other people? Where do your ideas about mental illness come from? 3. What does “normal” mean to you? Who gets to decide what “normal” is? Is this right? 4. We often attach negative qualities to people with mental illness. What positive traits might come from living with a mental illness? 5. What challenges do people with mental illness face in their lives? How can you be an ally or a support to people who you know with mental illness? 6. We often talk about mental illness as one thing when there are actually many different forms of mental illness. What can you do to educate yourself further so that you can avoid stereotyping and generalizing?No-Name Calling Week Resource Guide, Copyright ©2004 by GLSEN, Inc.

Read the reflection below about a student who searches for answers in the face of anti-Asian insults and taunts. Think about and discuss the questions that follow.

But Names Will Never Hurt Me It was one of those late summer days that felt empty and quiet. I had just finished seventh grade that year. My two sisters and I wanted to hang out at the pool near our house so we took our bags of swim gear and left. On the way there, right across from the side of a middle school, two young boys were playing in front of their beige-colored apartment. As we walked by it, they stopped what they were doing and came to the front of their gate to watch us. They began shouting racial slurs at us for no particular reason. “Chinas... go back to where you came from! &*@*%$#^&!!...” At first, I was too shocked to really feel anything or recognize that I was being insulted. This was a comment that had been buzzing around me, but never directed at me. I stood there quietly with my sisters, not wanting to make a big deal. But my older sister spoke up, her patience gone. “Why are you saying this?” she asked, trying to reason with them. But they kept on cussing at her as if she didn’t exist. One boy picked up a rock, and the other followed. They started throwing one after the other, but somehow none hit me. I held my towel as a shield. When I heard my sister gasp, I turned around and saw blood pouring from her nose. The kids scrambled back to their houses when they realized she was bleeding. As they ran away, I only yelled one stupid phrase, “See what you have done?!” Until my sister got hurt, I didn’t feel insulted or disturbed by their treatment. I didn’t do anything in response. She got hurt because she stood up for herself and for us. She wasn’t cussing nor firing racial slurs back at them. She was trying to talk to them as one person to another, but they wouldn’t listen. My sister was badly hurt I was afraid when the bleeding didn’t stop. I sent my little sister to our cousin’s house nearby to get help. They took her to a clinic. It turned out that my older sister’s nose was broken. Mixed in with my fear for my sister, I felt guilty. Why hadn’t I done more? We should have walked away before this happened or I should have shouted back and done something. I didn’t help her. I didn’t stand up for me. You might say they were only kids, but I was a kid, too, and I was angry. I hated the youngsters who hurt my sister. This incident, and many others, chipped away at my self-esteem bit by bit until I felt like I had become an angry, suspicious person. I didn’t look at other people in the same way anymore. I didn’t believe as readily that people had good intentions. Sometimes it hurts to be Asian. I’ve often felt as if I have been singled out to be the target of discrimination. I feel like my world is throwing prejudice darts at me from every corner. I have often felt as if I was the only one facing this mess. But there are other teens and adults in this world who also face such cruel, painful encounters. I wish I could tell them off Even though these boys were Latino, I don’t want to say all Latinos are racist. But I’d like to tell those boys, “Stop assuming all Asians are the same. I’m not Chinese, I’m Thai! You can’t just insult people or throw rocks at them because they’re different from you. Stop being so ignorant and open your minds more!” The anger from that time and other small incidents stayed with me. Then, when something else happened last summer, I couldn’t take it anymore. My two friends and I went to an elementary school to pick up my friend’s brother. Kids were walking around, playing or preparing to leave. We crossed the playground, talking, when I felt something cold hit me on my back. I stopped walking. The shock of getting hit on the back with a water balloon vibrated on the surface of my skin. An impulsive side of me—an instant reaction—sprang up and got me stomping back to a boy and a girl by the drinking fountain. I knew it was them. I saw his mischievous smile, that smile that seemed to say, “Yeah, it was me, but you wouldn’t do anything to me ‘cause you’re Chinese.” He didn’t expect me to fight back I know that many people don’t expect Asians to stand up and defend themselves. They think that we would just mumble something and walk on. But then again, I wasn’t Chinese or a weak Asian and I was profoundly exhausted by this racism. I marched up to the boy, my face burning bright with anger. I walked up so close to him that we were practically touching. “What did you do that for?” I demanded, looking down at him. “She told me to,” he said, nodding toward the girl with him. He smiled sheepishly. I looked down at his gym shorts and realized he was from the middle school next door. I looked at the water balloons next to him. I was so frustrated that I didn’t even think about what to say and it just came out. “Don’t throw them again or I’m going to take you to the principal!” I said. The boy cowered against the fountain. Despite his lame excuses and his pathetic smile, I knew he had meant to aim the balloon at my friends and me. There were so many other kids out on the yard, why wouldn’t he pick somebody else for his target? Was it because we were the only Asians walking? It seemed sad and cruel to think that, but that’s how I felt. I walked off, leaving the extra balloons behind. He didn’t throw them at us. I don’t know if he learned anything from my outburst, but at least I had stopped him from harassing us until we got home safely. Last time, I kept my cool The last time something prejudiced happened to me was when three girlfriends and I walked home from school one afternoon last year. A group of boys came up to us, and I thought they weren’t the ones who usually harass us because that one particular short boy wasn’t there. I thought I was safe. But I was wrong. One of the boys tried to spit at us, but ended up spitting on himself. That was so pathetic I laughed. Five more steps and another group of boys came strolling by. “Tell them they’re Chinas,” giggled a black-haired boy to his young companions as they walked right by us.I saw the boy’s smiling face and looked into it deeply before I even registered what he said to his friends. I tried to ignore them and continued to make my way home, a pseudo-stoic expression pasted on my face. But it failed. I asked my friend what the kid had said. I wanted to clarify it. She whispered what I had heard. And my heart fell, hard. I felt myself clenching my teeth harder. This was going to be my fiftieth time telling myself these kids were all ignorant and truly the perfect morons. And one day, their ignorance would dump them in a dark alley somewhere. Really, that was going to happen. I tried to convince myself of that and not throw a fit. Since I don’t walk home anymore, I haven’t faced discrimination in a while. But the discrimination I’ve been through has taught me a lot about myself, and slowly unveiled my identity. I am not another Asian looking to be bombarded by insults. Not anymore. I want to be known as me. This me who has feelings and morals, descended from a Thai family that has worked hard to make me the person I am. I don’t mind being asked what ethnicity I am or being mistaken as Chinese. I just don’t want to be discriminated against based on first impressions. I would feel cheated if people labeled me without trying to get to know me. That is unfair not only for me, but for other Asians as well. Would you like it if a person described all Latinos as Mexican even if you were Salvadoran, or all Caucasians as French even if you were Swedish? Most will say no. Now racist statements don’t hurt me as much I’ve come to realize how important it is to recognize myself as becoming an individual with different tastes and styles. Not just any girl but someone experienced in facing the cruelty of life. I’ve seen a lot of hurtfulness, but I know now it isn’t always all that necessary to say something awful back to my attacker. I don’t let every little thing bother me. There are times when you could just keep your mouth closed and let them do the idiotic talking. Let them find out how ignorant they are. I’m now secure enough in myself to know when and how I should speak up. I’ve grown mentally and emotionally by developing my other interests. I read a lot of stories, I draw, write poetry and stories, and started my own web page. I will never be as carefree as I once was, but I don’t regret the experiences I’ve been through.

Warittha Srichankrad was a 17 year-old student at Wilson High School when she wrote this piece, which appears at http://www.layouth.com/4_02_2_1.htm and is reprinted with permission of L.A. Youth.

QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION: 1. When Warittha was first assaulted by the boys, she stood shocked and silent. What do you think she was thinking and feeling at that moment? 2. Warittha’s sister tried to reason with the boys and ask them why they were using slurs. Do you think this was an effective response? What would you have done? 3. What stereotypes did the bullies have about Asian people that may have fueled their attacks? Being from a minority group themselves, why do think they were so hostile toward another minority? Do you think that, in general, being from a group that is subject to prejudice makes one more sympathetic to other differences? 4. How did name-calling and taunting impact Warittha over time? How did her experiences change her? What strategies did Warritha eventually learn for responding to name-calling and bullying? 5. At times, Warritha felt alone. Have you ever felt like you were the only one who was different or picked on? How did Warritha cope with her situation? What can you do to feel better or get support when you need it?

No-Name Calling Week Resource Guide, Copyright ©2004 by GLSEN, Inc. Read the poem below by a theatre troupe that uses it at performances about harassment and homophobia in schools. Think about and discuss the questions that follow.

I AM THE ONE (1ST READING) I am the one I am the one who is subject to whispers I am the one who is always being told to be different. I am the one who has to pretend, the one who can’t tell my family, the one who walks alone in the hallway. The one who isn’t sure anymore. I am the one who is afraid I will be the victim of a hate crime. I am the one you are afraid to be seen with. I am the one who is quick to point fingers and laugh, whose friends are on both sides of the line, who conjures assumptions and spreads rumors. I am the one who is surrounded by people who are all the same. Who wants to stick up for people but doesn’t know how, who wants to say something back. I am the one who just wants to be accepted I am the one who feels powerless I am the one who wants to be set free I am the one who wants my parents to love me for me Who cares inside but is afraid to speak up. Who always wanted to have the perfect life, but doesn’t know what that means anymore. I am the one who is threatened by difference. I am the one who disagrees with my parents, I am the one who is never safe, who doesn’t know who I can talk to, who avoids the ones that call me names. I am the one who is outraged at the harassment I see in my school. I am the one. I AM THE ONE (2ND READING) I am the one I am the one who calls you a fag I am the one who gets called a fag I am the one who gets called a fag for the way I dress, who is unsure, is questioning Who stays home sick, who doesn’t care, I am the one who wishes it was different I am the one who is making it different. I am the one who is invisible only when I lie, is out of the closet, who holds my head high- I am the one who is vocal about my beliefs, who stands alone but is not lonely. I am the one who craves acceptance I am the one who defends gay people and gets ridiculed for it. I am the one who knows that homosexuality is against God’s will. I am the one who tries to be someone else in order to be accepted, who hates because I don’t know, who hates because I don’t care Who hates because my friends do. Who stands silently and watches, the one who is afraid to tell my friends I might not be straight. I am the one who doesn’t care what others think, the one willing to risk, the one not afraid to be different. I am the one who is vulnerable. The one who is openly, happily gay The one who is incorrectly labeled as gay I am the one who has no one I am the one who doesn’t know how, or why, I am the one...alone This poem was written by the Planned Parenthood Olympia Teen Council and is reprinted with permission. QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION: 1. What is your emotional response to this poem? How does the tone and the voice of this poem make you feel? 2. What are some of the ways that anti-gay name-calling and harassment impact the poet? 3. Have you observed this type of name-calling at your school? Why are some students targeted for anti-gay names or taunts? What do you think about this? 4. What does it mean to be “in the closet”? What impact do you think silence and secrecy have on students who hide their sexual orientation? 5. Do you think it is possible for a student to be openly gay or lesbian and safe in your school? Why or why not? 6. What can you do to educate yourself about gay and lesbian issues and be an ally to students who are gay or lesbian?

LESSON 3: NAME-CALLING IN OUR SCHOOL Check In: Why do you think bullies bully? OVERVIEW: Students are provided with the opportunity to objectively observe the way in which name-calling and other types of disrespectful language are used in school over a three-day period. Students are asked to reflect on their observations, to look for patterns of behavior, and to begin to consider ways in which the problem of name-calling might be addressed in their school. OBJECTIVES: • To increase students’ awareness of the extent and nature of name-calling and verbal bullying in school • To encourage student reflection about the problem of name-calling and ways to address it • To develop students’ ability to observe and record behavior in their school AGE/EXPERIENCE LEVEL: Grades 5 and up; this activity requires some discretion and independence on the part of students TIME: 30-40 minutes or one class period to introduce the activity; 3 days of observations; 45 minutes or one class period to debrief MATERIALS: Pens; notebooks; student handouts: Name-Calling in Our School and Name-Calling Log(separate attachment) PROCEDURE: PART 1—INTRODUCING THE ACTIVITY (15-20 MINUTES) Ask students to raise their hands or stand if they have never been called a name or talked to in a mean or disrespectful way. Most likely there will be very few or no students standing. Note the pervasiveness of name-calling in their lives and how it is often taken for granted as natural or normal. Write one or more of the following phrases on the board: • Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me. • Boys will be boys. • Teasing is just a natural part of growing up. • It’s just a joke—everyone says it Ask students if they agree with the above sentiments, all of which are commonly used to explain or respond to name-calling. Ask if they think name-calling is a problem in their lives or just a natural part of growing up that everyone must endure. Allow some time for discussion. Inform students that they will be participating in some observation over the course of three days to objectively examine the extent and nature of name-calling in their schools, and to further consider whether it is inevitable or a problem they can do something about.

PART 2—OBSERVING AND RECORDING NAME-CALLING IN SCHOOL (15-20 MINUTES) Give each student a copy of the Student Handouts, Name-Calling in Our School and Name-Calling Log. Review the following steps, which are included in their handout:

Step 1: Prepare Make a few copies of the attached chart or get a notebook that you can use to record your observations. Keep your charts or notebook with you at all times while you are at school or on your way to/from school over the next three days. Step 2: Plan Think about the most appropriate times and places to observe. In addition to writing down what you see and hear as you go about your regular day, you may want to spend extra time in the gym, cafeteria, hallways or other locations. Check with your teacher to make sure your plan is okay. Step 3: Observe Keep your ears open and your mouth zipped. As a researcher, your job is to watch, listen, and write down all examples of name-calling, verbal bullying or other examples of disrespectful language. Try to observe only and to stay out of name-calling situations that you encounter. If a student looks like s/he needs support, ask an adult for help. Step 4: Write You will be trying to record the information below for each incident. Try to keep your notes brief so that it doesn’t take too long to capture each incident. • WHO: Record information about the name-caller and the person on the receiving end, but no names please! Write down your best guess about the age/grade of the people involved, their gender (boy, girl), and other important characteristics. • WHEN AND WHERE: The time of the incident and the location (classroom, cafeteria, hallway, yard, gym, bus, etc.) • WHAT: The exact words that are said • HOW: The tone in which the comment is made (angry, joking, upset, etc.) • RESPONSE: The response of the person(s) being targeted, if any • RESPONSE: The response of bystanders to the incident, if any

PART 3—DEBRIEFING AND NEXT STEPS (30-45 MINUTES) At the end of the three days of observation, ask students to reflect upon their observations and answer the following questions. This can be done as a homework assignment, in-class writing assignment, or small group discussion: • What types of name-calling are most common (names about looks, behavior, intelligence, physical ability, friends, family, race, ethnicity, sexual comments, curses or other cruel words, etc.)? • Who is most likely to get bullied and to do the bullying? (No names—just characteristics) • Where/when did most incidents of name-calling take place? Were adults or other students around? • What was the intent of the name-calling in most cases (to tease, joke, hurt, get revenge, etc.)? • How did the targets of name-calling respond? • Did an adult or other student get involved? If so, how? • How do you think the problem of name-calling should be addressed in your school? Revisit the question with which you began this lesson—is name-calling inevitable or a problem we can do something about? As a follow-up, students may be asked to write a report that summarizes their observations and what they have learned about name-calling in their school. They should include their ideas for ways to reduce or end name-calling in their school community. Their reports can be presented to the school principal, guidance staff, or others in a position to help implement change. As a class, select one or more ideas that you will work on collaboratively to put into action. NAME-CALLING LOG

Name Calling Log Please see separate attachment…………. LESSON 4: VIDEO Check In: If you could talk to students who bully what would you say to them? Time: 50 minutes Materials: Video “Stop Bullying… Take a Stand! Procedure: Advisors have the option of showing one movie or both

1. Students will view the video “Stop Bullying… Take a Stand” (29 minutes). This video hosted by Erika Harold, Miss America, herself a victim of severe harassment, provides advice to victims, parents and bystanders. Her personal experience is interwoven with compelling personal stories of teens who have bullied but found help. Peer educators work with students to produce PSA’s showing what bystanders can do when they see someone being bullied. Everyone involved gains awareness about the various forms of bullying and harassment, and in the process, changes their own attitudes and behavior. 2. Discussion Questions: a. Were you surprised to learn that a former Miss America was a victim of Bullying? Why or Why not? b. Have you ever shared pictures with friends over the internet? Have you ever thought about the possibility t hat these pictures might get altered by someone else? c. The word “power is used to describe what drives bullies. What do you think about this idea? How do you think bullies get power? d. Do you think that society has promoted bullying? Do you think that music videos, movies, TV shows or video games ever convey an accepting attitude towards bullying?

OR Materials: Video “Bullied”

Procedure:

1. Students will view the video “Bullied” (38 minutes).Bullied is about the story of Jamie Nabozny. His ordeal began in the 6th grade and only got worse in high school. Years of unrelenting bullying took his toll. But Jamie decided to take a stand –against the bullying he endured and the bullying that he knew other students endured. He went to court and fought for the right to be safe at school, even if you are gay. His inspiring story offers hope for millions of gay and lesbian students who still don’t feel safe at school.

2. Discussion Questions:

a. What do you think Jamie felt on a typical day? Jamie experienced feelings of fear, self-loathing, helplessness, stress and depression, as well as the pain of physical violence that was inflicted upon him. He dreaded going to school and often felt the need to hide from classmates, to arrive at school early and stay late, and to avoid using the school bathroom for fear of being assaulted there.

b. What did Jamie hope to accomplish by filing lawsuit? They hoped to draw attention to the life- threatening harassment and violence that Jamie experienced in middle school and high school at the hands of bullies who targeted him for being gay. Through their precedent-setting lawsuit, Jamie and his lawyers sought to hold school administrators accountable for providing a safe learning environment for all students

c. What are Jamie’s key messages when he speaks at the assembly? Jamie argues that all students deserve to be safe when they are at school. He also urges students to stand up and speak out if they are being harassed or bullied or if they see an unjust situation. Jamie reminds students that individuals have the power to make a difference and points to his own case as a powerful example of this idea.

d. What lessons do you take away from his story?

LESSON 5: INSTANT REPLAY Check In: What is one appropriate way people can react to bullying?

OVERVIEW: Students discuss and practice safe and realistic responses to name-calling and bullying by role-playing fictional scenarios. They use the “instant replay” technique, in which they rehearse and retry responses to name-calling, and receive support from their peers. Students are introduced to “SAFE,” a set of strategies for responding to bullying and taking care of their personal needs. OBJECTIVES: • To provide students with safe and realistic strategies for responding to name-calling and bullying • To give students practice responding to name-calling in a structured and supportive environment • To increase students’ awareness about ways they can address their social and emotional needs when they are targets of name-calling or bullying AGE/EXPERIENCE LEVEL: Grades 5-9 TIME: 45 minutes or one class period MATERIALS: Chart paper/markers; pens; Student handouts: Instant Replay and Staying SAFE PROCEDURE: PART 1—INTRODUCING THE ACTIVITY (15 MINUTES) Invite students to consider the following storyline: A nice but somewhat helpless child is brutally taunted and bullied by the cruel kids at school, learns how to fight back, and then teaches the bullies a lesson they won’t soon forget. Ask students if that plot sounds familiar. Encourage them to talk briefly about books, television shows, movies or even video games they have experienced with similar themes. Note that such storylines are popular in mass media and are a common fantasy among those of us who have ever been picked on, but that’s all it is—a fantasy. Emphasize that in real life, fighting back or getting revenge is not something that we are likely to do. Nor is it a course of action that brings an end to bullying or makes us feel better. Ask students to consider realistic and safe responses to namecalling and bullying. List their responses on a sheet of chart paper and discuss their ideas.

PART 2—ROLE PLAYING RESPONSES TO NAME-CALLING (30 MINUTES) Distribute a copy of Staying SAFE (attached) to each student or post a large copy of it at the front of the room. Review the information with students and discuss each strategy for avoiding and responding to name-calling and bullying. Tell students that they will be participating in some role-plays in order to practice the SAFE techniques and other strategies they have identified for responding to name-calling and bullying. Emphasize that rehearsing ways to respond to bullying, and practicing the actual words we might use out loud, can help us to feel more confident and prepared when real-life situations arise. Explain the Instant Replay method to students. After acting out each scenario, the student being bullied can call out “instant replay” and try again until she or he comes to a response that feels comfortable and effective. Another student can call “instant replay” as well, and step in to try out a response that may be helpful. The role-play activity can be carried out by dividing the class into groups of 4-6 students and providing each group with one or more scenarios to enact. If your students would benefit from more structure and support, however, solicit volunteers to role-play one scenario at a time for the whole class while you act as facilitator. Distribute the handout, Instant Replay, or cut it into strips and provide “actors” with one or more scenarios to role-play. After each role-play, direct students to discuss one or more of the following questions: • Why was the student targeted for teasing or bullying? What did the bullies get out of it? • What do you think the person being bullied was thinking and feeling during the incident? • Was the strategy used to respond in this situation effective? Why or why not? What other response(s) would have been useful? • What role did the bystanders play? What could they have done to help? • What can the student who was being bullied do later to get support and avoid future problems?

STAYING SAFE Being on the receiving end of name-calling and bullying can be a scary experience, but there are things you can do to protect yourself and to stay safe. First, don’t be hard on yourself—it is not your fault if you are being picked on, and it is natural to feel upset or frightened in response to bullying. So take a deep breath and read on to learn about strategies for staying SAFE. SAFE means…

Stand Positive and Strong Avoid The Situation Find Support Express Your Feelings

1. STAND POSITIVE AND STRONG Try to appear confident, if you can, and to not show fear or anger. (Some students who bully like to see that they can upset you). Respond by using an “I Message” that strongly expresses how you feel and that you expect the negative behavior to stop immediately. In some situations, it may be useful to respond to the negative behavior by saying something clever or funny—but only if you feel this will silence the bully rather than make him or her angrier.

2. AVOID THE SITUATION Don’t fight back or respond to bad behavior with more bad behavior. Think of your safety first and do not allow your emotions to cause you to react with anger or violence. Try to ignore hurtful comments and walk away if possible. Avoid places and situations where you might not be safe, such as areas where there are not many students or teachers around. In addition, you can make sure you are not alone in the bathroom or locker room; sit near the front of the bus; sit with a group of friends at lunch; and take a different route to class or walk with a teacher or friends.

3. FIND SUPPORT Find others who have had similar experiences and support each other. Find new hobbies that you enjoy and will help you feel good about yourself. Hang out with people who accept you for who you are and join group activities where you will meet new friends who might stick up for you if you are picked on.

4. EXPRESS YOUR FEELINGS Keep a diary, journal or notebook to write down how you feel each day. Don’t be afraid to talk about your feelings with your friends, family, teachers, or counselors. Seeking help is NOT “tattling.” Remember that it’s ok to feel angry, scared, nervous, embarrassed, frustrated or helpless. When you experience negative feelings, practice saying positive statements. INSTANT REPLAY Try role-playing one or more of the scenarios below using the SAFE guidelines for responding to name-calling and bullying. Use the Instant Replay method when you role-play. After acting out each scenario, the student being bullied can call out “instant replay” and try again until she or he comes to a response that feels comfortable and effective. Another student can call “instant replay” as well, and step in to try out a response that may be helpful. Rehearsing ways to respond to bullying, and practicing the words you might use out loud, can help you to feel more confident and prepared when a real-life situation comes up. After each role-play, use some of the following questions to help you process the situation and the strategies practiced. DISCUSSION • Why was the student targeted for teasing or bullying? What did the bullies get out of it? • What do you think the person being bullied was thinking and feeling during the incident? • Was the strategy used to respond in this situation effective? Why or why not? What other response(s) would have been useful? • What role did the bystanders play? What could they have done to help? • What can the student who was being bullied do later to get support and avoid future problems?

SCENARIO #1: The girls at school have been keeping their distance from Grace. No one will sit next to her at lunch, they hold their noses when they pass by her in the hall, and whisper to each other in her presence. After weeks of this treatment, Grace finds out from another student that a small group of girls has been telling everyone that Grace only takes a bath once a week and that her family never washes their clothes. The next day in science lab, the students were conducting an experiment with a bad-smelling chemical. The student at the station across from Grace’s commented loudly, “This must be Grace’s shampoo.” The other students in the area burst out laughing.

SCENARIO #2: Jack has stuttered for as long as he can remember. He gets especially stuck on certain sounds, such as words beginning with ‘sh,’ and stammers worse when he is nervous. Jack has always experienced teasing about his stutter, but seventh grade has been the worst. When auditions for the school play were announced, Jack made the brave decision to try out as way to overcome some of his anxiety about speaking in front of others. When Jack took his seat among the other would-be actors, one of them repeatedly mocked Jack, saying things like, “Bbbbbbreak a lllleg.” A couple of students laughed, but others looked as though they were uncomfortable with the comments.

SCENARIO #3: Theresa has been a student in a special education class since third grade due to a learning disability that has made reading and writing especially difficult tasks for her. In the sixth grade, Theresa’s teacher began sending her to a regular education class for math, which is her strongest subject. Some of the students in math class refer to Theresa as “special ed” and taunt her when the teacher is not within earshot. On one particular day, when the teacher was called out of the classroom for a few minutes, one of the students asked mockingly if she was a “retard.”

SCENARIO #4: Simone has been the butt of cruel and endless fat jokes ever since she transferred to her new school. Gym is especially uncomfortable for Simone, who tries to get out of class and away from the taunts whenever she can find an excuse. Things got bad enough that Simone decided to start a diet and grew determined to lose the extra weight. In the cafeteria one day, some boys approached Simone’s table and peered at the salad she was eating. In front of Simone’s friends and the others at her table, one of the boys remarked sarcastically, “Looks like that salad’s really helping.” The other boys followed suit with more mean comments.

SCENARIO #5: Jose is the son of a lesbian couple who adopted him when he was two years old. Jose never felt that his family was different—his moms always seemed just like any other parents. Lately, though, some of the students at school have been making rude remarks about Jose’s moms. They also call Jose “fag” and other cruel names. One afternoon after basketball practice, a couple of the other players made a big deal about changing in the same locker room as a “queer” and told Jose that he should quit the team and try out for the girl’s field hockey team if he wanted to play sports. LESSON 6: DON’T JUST STAND BY Check In: What is something you can do if you witness bullying besides just standing by?

OVERVIEW: Students discuss what it means to be a bystander to bullying and why it is often difficult to intervene and support peers who are affected by bullying. They brainstorm ways to overcome these challenges and are provided with specific strategies for “taking a stand” against name-calling and bullying. Students then apply these principles by writing responses to advice column letters, role-playing solutions, and writing about real-life bystander situations with which they have been confronted. OBJECTIVES: • To increase students’ awareness about the impact of negative bystander behavior and their responsibility to do something about name-calling and bullying • To help students identify ways to overcome the challenges that stop them from being effective allies to others • To provide students with safe and realistic strategies for taking a stand against name-calling and bullying • To provide students with structured practice and application of the strategies they have learned AGE/EXPERIENCE LEVEL: Grades 4-9 TIME: 80 minutes or two class periods MATERIALS: Chart paper/markers; pens; Students handouts: Take a Stand and Lend a Hand and Don’t Just Stand By PROCEDURE: PART 1—INTRODUCING THE ACTIVITY (20 MINUTES) Pose one or both of the following scenarios to the class: • You’re in the locker room after gym and one of your classmates keeps making insulting remarks to a much smaller student who has the locker next to you. What do you do? • The student who sits next to you in math class is spreading mean rumors about another classmate that you know are all lies. Do you say something? For each scenario, ask students to respond to the following questions: • What is the right thing to do in this situation? • What do you think most students you know would actually do in this situation? Ask students to consider the discrepancy between their responses to the questions above. Ask them what they think stops people from doing the “right thing” in situations like the ones you posed (e.g., fear, ignorance, peer pressure, prejudice). Capture their responses on a sheet of chart paper.

PART 2—IDENTIFYING WAYS TO BE AN ALLY (20 MINUTES) Point out that we’ve all been a bystander to bullying behavior at one time or another in our lives. Ask students what a bystander is (you can define it as someone who witnesses an incident, but doesn’t take part in it). Note that bystanders are not to blame for bullying, but if they laugh at it, ignore it, or simply do nothing, they may play a part in keeping it going. Return to the list of reasons why students sometimes stop short of doing the “right thing” and brainstorm ways to overcome these challenges so that students can be better friends and allies to those who are targeted for name-calling and bullying. Distribute the handout, Take a Stand and Lend a Hand, which offers strategies for intervening safely when students are bystanders to name-calling or bullying. Review this information with students and ask them if they have anything to add to the list of ways to overcome barriers to doing the “right thing.”

PART 3—APPLYING “TAKING A STAND” (40 MINUTES) Distribute the handout, Don’t Just Stand By, which includes two letters in the style of an advice column. Each letter is written by a student who is a bystander to bullying and needs some guidance about what to do. Individually or in pairs, ask students to write responses to one or both letters that incorporate some of the strategies you have discussed for taking a stand against name-calling and bullying. When students have completed their letters, ask for some volunteers to share their responses and to highlight strategies for taking a stand that are safe and realistic. Alternatively you can ask for volunteers to role-play each situation. Students can act each scenario out twice—the first time just the bullying incident, and the second time with the bystander(s) “lending a hand.” This activity can also be followed up by asking students to anonymously write advice column style letters that represent real bystander situations with which they have been confronted. These can be read, discussed and responded to in class from time to time to reinforce the values discussed in this lesson and to support students as they work to apply these principles to their lives.

TAKE A STAND AND LEND A HAND

Name-calling and bullying are problems that everyone must help to solve. It may not be your fault that some students bully, but if you ignore it, laugh at it, or do nothing in response to bullying that you witness, you may be a part of the problem. Being an ally or a friend to someone who is being picked on may feel uncomfortable or scary, but there are safe ways in which we can all “Take a Stand and Lend a Hand.”

WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE SOMEONE BEING BULLIED AT SCHOOL? Ask yourself, “Is it my job to help?” Think about how YOU might feel if the bullying was happening to you. You and other students can lend a hand, even when you aren’t close friends with the people being bullied. Your school will be a better place if you help stop bullying. And making your school a better place is EVERYONE’S job!

WHAT CAN I DO? Lots of things! Think about what may work for you: • Don’t just stand there...SAY SOMETHING! • People who bully may think they’re being funny or “cool.” If you feel safe, tell the person to STOP the bullying behavior. Say you don’t like it and that it isn’t funny. • DON’T BULLY BACK! It won’t help if you use mean names or actions. And it could make things worse.

BUT WHAT IF I DON’T FEEL SAFE TELLING STUDENTS WHO BULLY TO STOP? That’s OK. No one should put himself or herself in an unsafe situation. How ELSE can you lend a hand when bullying happens? • Say kind words to the person who is being bullied, such as “I’m sorry about what happened,” and “I don’t like it!” Help them understand that it’s not their fault. Be a friend. Invite that student to do things with you, like sitting together at lunch or working together on a project. EVERYONE NEEDS A FRIEND! • Tell that student to talk to someone about what happened. Offer to help by going along. • Pay attention to the other students who see the bullying. (These people are called, “bystanders.”) Are any of them laughing, or joining in with the bullying? These people are part of the problem. Let those bystanders know that they’re not helping! DON’T be one of them! • Tell an adult. (This is IMPORTANT!!) Chances are, the person who is being bullied needs help from an adult. AND the student who is doing the bullying probably does, too. Often, the bullying does not get reported. Think about who you could tell in your school—a teacher, counselor, cafeteria or playground aid, principal, bus driver, or other adults you feel comfortable telling. If you need help telling, take a friend along.

WHY DON’T SOME STUDENTS TELL WHEN THEY SEE BULLYING? • They may not want others to think they are “tattling.” They may be afraid that the students who bully will pick on them next. • They may think their friends will make fun of them for trying to help. • Telling is very important! Reporting that someone is getting bullied or hurt in some other way is NOT “tattling.” Adults at school can help. Ask them to help keep you safe after telling. Explain to your friends that bullying is NOT fair and encourage them to join in helping!

WHAT IF THE BULLYING DOESN’T HAPPEN AT SCHOOL? • If there is an adult around, report the bullying to an adult (your youth group leader, sports coach, etc.) • No matter where the bullying happens, you should talk to your parents about bullying that you see or know about. Ask them for their ideas about how to help. We ALL must do our part! People who are bullied deserve to feel safe and welcome at school and in their neighborhoods. Everyone does!

This fact sheet reprinted with permission from Take a Stand, Lend a Hand, Stop Bullying Now, a project of the Health, Resources and Services Administration of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services at http://www.stopbullyingnow.org

DON’T JUST STAND BY

We’ve all been a bystander to bullying behavior at one time or another in our lives. A bystander is someone who witnesses an incident, but doesn’t take part in it. Bystanders are not to blame for bullying, but if they laugh at it, ignore it, or simply do nothing, they may play a part in keeping it going. Name-calling and bullying are problems that everyone must help to solve. And there are ways that we can all get involved without putting ourselves at risk or harming our standing with peers. Read the Fact Sheet entitled Take a Stand and Lend a Hand, which provides some tips for taking a stand against name-calling and bullying. Then use this information to help you write a response to the Dear Gabby letters below. When you are finished, try role-playing each situation. Act each scenario out twice—the first time just the bullying incident, and the second time with the bystander(s) “lending a hand.”

Dear Gabby, My family just moved from a big city to the suburbs, so now I have to take the bus to school every day. There’s this one kid who sits next to me every morning. I guess you can say he’s the typical “nerd.” His nose is always in a book, he wears glasses that are too big for his face, and his clothes are not very stylish. You get the point. Anyway, there’s this group of thugs who taunt the poor guy every day. They call him “loser,” make fun of the way he talks, try to trip him—the whole works. Most of the other kids either laugh or ignore it, and the bus driver does absolutely nothing. I guess you can lump me in with the ones who pretty much ignore it. I feel bad for the kid, but what can I do? I’m the new guy at my middle school and it’s hard enough to make friends without everyone thinking I’m best buddies with the class “nerd.” Besides, the thugs are like twice my size, so it’s not like I can teach them a lesson or anything. Still, this problem keeps nagging at me. What do you think I should do, Gabby? Sincerely stressed,

Concerned in Connecticut

Dear Concerned, ______

Dear Gabby, There’s this kid in my class named Jason. He was really popular when we were in elementary school, but now he gets picked on all the time because he’s into dance and acts a little like a girl. They call him “Queer Eye” and basically torture him on a daily basis. He’s pretty good at just pretending they don’t exist, but it drives me crazy. Once, when some kids were giving Jason a hard time, I told them to cut it out. Forget it—they called me a lesbian for like a month after that. I’m just not sure there’s any use getting involved. What do you think, Gabby? Yours bluely,

Fed-Up in Florida

Dear Fed-Up, ______

LESSON 7: Poster/Pledge Check In: Can you tell me one thing you learned about bullying that will always remain with you?

OVERVIEW: Students will create anti bullying posters and will agree to sign the “No Name Calling Pledge” OBJECTIVES: -Students will explore ways to create and design posters on the topic of bullying and how to stop it - Students will pledge not to bully other students AGE/EXPERIENCE LEVEL: Grades 4-9 TIME: 1-2 sessions MATERIALS: Markers, 22x28 Poster Paper (in main office), Crayons, Pencils, PROCEDURE: 1. Inform students that they will creating posters for a campus wide No Name Calling Poster Contest -Ask students to brainstorm what they have learned about Bullying and what they can do to stop bullying -Students will then create posters with a slogan against bullying (ex. Bully free is the way to be! Or Not here, not now, not in my school!) Contest Guidelines - All work must be original - Entries must be hand drawn using crayons, paint, color pencils or markers -Posters must have student’s name, school and advisor on the back -Collage materials may not be used -Prizes will be given to top three posters

2. Once the posters are final advisors can select the top three for their class and give them to Ms. Rodriguez-Ortiz(deadline is 3/19/11). As a team we will select the top three posters that will enter the Campus wide contest. (prizes to be determined) 3. Once posters are complete tell students “We all need to work together to make the changes necessary to stop bullying in our school. We have discussed the roles that we play in making those changes. One step we can all make in making a change is to take the No Name Calling Pledge”. 4. Ask students to stand up one by one and recite the pledge in front of the class. 5. Discussion Questions a. How do you feel about having to take the No Name Calling Pledge? b. Do you think that this will reduce bullying behavior? I ______believe that bullying and calling other students hurtful names is wrong. I pledge to do my best to:

• Not bully other students or call them hurtful names. • Intervene, if I safely can, in situations where students are being called names.

• Support efforts to end bullying and name‐calling.

If you are being called names or bullied, remember the four ways to stay SAFE: Say What you Feel: Tell the person who is bullying you or calling you names the way their actions make you feel. Ask for Help: Sometimes you can’t handle the situation yourself, and it’s ok to ask for help. Find a teacher or other school staff member to talk to. Find a Friend: Hanging out with people who make you feel good about yourself is important, and the person calling you names might think twice before picking on you when you’re with your friends. Exit the Area: While it may feel like you aren’t doing anything at all, sometimes walking away from someone who is picking on you is the best way to end things. nonamecallingweek.org glsen.org

Unit 3: No Name Calling

Lesson Overview

1. Introduction to Bullying/Student Survey/Statistics (2 Sessions)

2. Reflections-Students reflect on real life stories of people who have been bullied (1-2 Sessions)

3. Name Calling In Our School-students will observe bullying behaviors in their school and keep a log (2 Sessions)

4. Video- “Bullied” or “Stop Bullying….Take A Stand” followed by discussion questions (1or 2 Sessions)

5. Instant Replay-Students role play, discuss and practice safe and realistic responses to bullying (1 Session)

6. Don’t Just Stand By-Students discuss what it means to be a bystander to bullying ( 2 Sessions) 7. Poster/Pledge-Students create a poster for campus wide contest and take a the no Name Calling Pledge (Poster Contest Prizes have not been determined as of yet) (1-2 Sessions)

There will also be a presentation on Cyber bullying that will be done by the NYPD. It is scheduled for March 7, 2011 in the auditorium during advisory.