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The Character Council of Greater Cincinnati and Northern Kentucky – www.charactercincinnati.org

[The Faith Committee of The Character Council of Greater Cincinnati and Northern Kentucky gratefully acknowledges the permission of Home Life Ministries to make its Character Journals available on our website (www.charactercincinnati.org). Home Life Ministries may be contacted by Internet at www.hlm.org, by email at [email protected], by telephone at (0) 1480 219881, and by mail at Home Life Ministries; Pastures Farm Cottage, Kimbolton Road; Hail Weston, Huntingdon; Cambs. PE19 4lb; England]

Character Journal No.24 Sensitivity May 2001

The Character Journal is a monthly e-zine designed to help parents teach Biblical character qualities to their children. Each month a different character quality is presented with suggestions for Bible lessons and projects.

If you have received this mailing from a friend and would like to subscribe to The Character Journal, please follow the instructions below. TO SUBSCRIBE: You can subscribe to The Character Journal via email simply by sending a BLANK email to: “mailto:[email protected].” You will automatically be sent a confirmation message. Once you reply, you'll be added to the list. Please note that your e-mail address will NOT be passed on to any third party neither will you be sent any unsolicited messages.

TO UNSUBSCRIBE: You may unsubscribe at any time via email simply by sending a BLANK message from the address to which you are subscribed to: “mailto:[email protected].” We welcome opportunities to speak at churches on the subject of character training in the home. If we can help serve your church in this area, please do not hesitate to contact us. We have been certified by Character First!® Education and can also provide on-site teacher training in the UK for schools and churches wishing to use the Character First!® Education materials. E-mail us for more information on training classes.

The next Character Journal will focus on the quality of Enthusiasm. If you have stories, illustrations etc. related to this quality, or if you have a testimony to share, we would enjoy hearing from you. E-mail me at “mailto:[email protected].”

In His Service! Morris Hull

Home Life Ministries, England

Related Hymns and Choruses

 Breath on Me, Breath of God (Edwin Hatch, 1878)  Close to Thee (Fanny J. Crosby, 1874)  Have Thine Own Way, Lord (Adelaide A Pollard, 1902)  I'll Go Where You Want Me to Go (Mary Brown, 19th cent.)

Bible Verses Related to Sensitivity

Spend an evening (or several) looking at just one of these verses at a time. Discuss with your family what each verse or story teaches about the character quality; and give vital application of how this quality can be applied to your family. Choose several verses to memorise together as a family during the month. Since the English word "sensitivity" does not appear in the Authorised Version, we have included a list of verses which relate

1 The Character Council of Greater Cincinnati and Northern Kentucky – www.charactercincinnati.org to this important character quality. For a more complete study, we suggest you use the Online Bible which you can download free of charge from our web site at “file:///D:/hlm.org/HTML/files.htm.”

NOTE: The black colored text indicates the number attributed to the Greek or Hebrew word in Strong's Concordance as well as a transliteration of the word and its pronunciation. The blue text shows all of the ways that the original word is translated in the Authorised Version. The number beside each of the various words indicates the number of times it is translated in that way; and the number at the end indicates the total number of times the original word appears in the Bible. The red text gives a more technical definition of the original word. In each case, the first time the original word is used is listed first. For the sake of space, not all occurrences of the original word is given but enough to show the various ways in which the word is used.

1252 diakrinw diakrino dee-ak-ree’-no from 1223 and 2919; TDNT-3:946,469; v

AV-doubt 5, judge 3, discern 2, contend 2, waver 2, misc 5; 19 1) to separate, make a distinction, discriminate, to prefer

2) to learn by discrimination, to try, decide

2a) to determine, give judgment, decide a dispute

3) to withdraw from one, desert

4) to separate one’s self in a hostile spirit, to oppose, strive with dispute, contend

5) to be at variance with one’s self, hesitate, doubt Matthew 16:3 And in the morning, It will be foul weather to day: for the sky is red and lowring. O ye hypocrites, ye can discern <1252> the face of the sky; but can ye not discern the signs of the times?

Matthew 21:21 Jesus answered and said unto them, Verily I say unto you, If ye have faith, and doubt <1252> not, ye shall not only do this which is done to the fig tree, but also if ye shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; it shall be done.

Mark 11:23 For verily I say unto you, That whosoever shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; and shall <1252> not doubt <1252> in his heart, but shall believe that those things which he saith shall come to pass; he shall have whatsoever he saith.

Acts 10:20 Arise therefore, and get thee down, and go with them, doubting <1252> nothing: for I have sent them.

Acts 11:2 And when Peter was come up to Jerusalem, they that were of the circumcision contended <1252> with him,

Acts 11:12 And the Spirit bade me go with them, nothing doubting <1252>. Moreover these six brethren accompanied me, and we entered into the man’s house:

Acts 15:9 And put <1252> no difference <1252> between us and them, purifying their hearts by faith.

Romans 4:20 He staggered <1252> not at the promise of God through unbelief; but was strong in faith, giving glory to God;

2 The Character Council of Greater Cincinnati and Northern Kentucky – www.charactercincinnati.org

Romans 14:23 And he that doubteth <1252> is damned if he eat, because he eateth not of faith: for whatsoever is not of faith is sin. {doubteth: or, discerneth and putteth a difference between meats} {damned: or, condemned, or liable to punishment}

1 Corinthians 4:7 For who maketh <1252> thee to differ <1252> from another? and what hast thou that thou didst not receive? now if thou didst receive it, why dost thou glory, as if thou hadst not received it? maketh…: Gr. distinguisheth thee}

1 Corinthians 6:5 I speak to your shame. Is it so, that there is not a wise man among you? no, not one that shall be able to judge <1252> between his brethren?

1 Corinthians 11:29 For he that eateth and drinketh unworthily, eateth and drinketh damnation to himself, not discerning <1252> the Lord’s body. {damnation: or, judgement}

1 Corinthians 11:31 For if we would judge <1252> ourselves, we should not be judged.

1 Corinthians 14:29 Let the prophets speak two or three, and let <1252> the other judge <1252>.

James 1:6 But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering <1252>. For he that wavereth <1252> is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed.

James 2:4 Are ye <1252> not then partial <1252> in yourselves, and are become judges of evil thoughts?

Jude 1:9 Yet Michael the archangel, when contending <1252> with the devil he disputed about the body of Moses, durst not bring against him a railing accusation, but said, The Lord rebuke thee.

Jude 1:22 And of some have compassion, making a difference <1252>:

1253 diakrisiv diakrisis dee-ak’-ree-sis from 1252; TDNT-3:949,469; n f

AV-discerning 1, discern 1, disputation 1; 3 1) a distinguishing, discerning, judging

Romans 14:1 Him that is weak in the faith receive ye, but not to doubtful disputations <1253>. {not…: or, not to judge his doubtful thoughts}

1 Corinthians 12:10 To another the working of miracles; to another prophecy; to another discerning <1253> of spirits; to another divers kinds of tongues; to another the interpretation of tongues: Hebrews 5:14 But strong meat belongeth to them that are of full age, even those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern <1253> both good and evil. {of full age: or, perfect} {use: or, an habit, or, perfection}

1381 dokimazw dokimazo dok-im-ad’-zo from 1384; TDNT-2:255,181; v

AV-prove 10, try 4, approve 3, discern 2, allow 2, like 1, examine 1; 23 1) to test, examine, prove, scrutinise (to see whether a thing is genuine or not), as metals

2) to recognise as genuine after examination, to approve, deem worthy

Luke 12:56 Ye hypocrites, ye can discern <1381> the face of the sky and of the earth; but how is it that ye do not discern <1381> this time?

Luke 14:19 And another said, I have bought five yoke of oxen, and I go to prove <1381> them: I pray thee have me excused.

Romans 1:28 And even as they did <1381> not like <1381> to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient; {to retain: or, to acknowledge} {a reprobate…: or, a mind void of judgment or, an unapproving mind}

Romans 2:18 And knowest his will, and approvest <1381> the things that are more excellent, being instructed out of the law; {approvest…: or, triest the things that differ}

Romans 12:2 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove <1381> what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

Romans 14:22 Hast thou faith? have it to thyself before God. Happy is he that condemneth not himself in that thing which he alloweth <1381>.

1 Corinthians 3:13 Every man’s work shall be made manifest: for the day shall declare it, because it shall be revealed by fire; and the fire shall try <1381> every man’s work of what sort it is. {it shall be: Gr. it is}

1 Corinthians 11:28 But let <1381> a man examine <1381> himself, and so let him eat of that bread, and drink of that cup.

1 Corinthians 16:3 And when I come, whomsoever ye shall approve <1381> by your letters, them will I send to bring your liberality unto Jerusalem. {liberality: Gr. gift}

2 Corinthians 8:8 I speak not by commandment, but by occasion of the forwardness of others, and to prove <1381> the sincerity of your love.

2 Corinthians 8:22 And we have sent with them our brother, whom we have <1381> oftentimes proved <1381> diligent in many things, but now much more diligent, upon the great confidence which I have in you. {I have: or, he hath}

2 Corinthians 13:5 Examine yourselves, whether ye be in the faith; prove <1381> your own selves. Know ye not your own selves, how that Jesus Christ is in you, except ye be reprobates? Galatians 6:4 But let <1381> every man prove <1381> his own work, and then shall he have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another.

Ephesians 5:10 Proving <1381> what is acceptable unto the Lord.

Philippians 1:10 That ye may approve <1381> things that are excellent; that ye may be sincere and without offence till the day of Christ; {approve: or, try} {are…: or, differ}

1 Thessalonians 2:4 But as we were allowed <1381> of God to be put in trust with the gospel, even so we speak; not as pleasing men, but God, which trieth <1381> our hearts.

1 Thessalonians 5:21 Prove <1381> all things; hold fast that which is good.

1 Timothy 3:10 And let <1381> these also first be proved <1381>; then let them use the office of a deacon, being found blameless.

Hebrews 3:9 When your fathers tempted me, proved <1381> me, and saw my works forty years.

1 Peter 1:7 That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried <1381> with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ:

1 John 4:1 Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try <1381> the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world.

Other Verses... Romans 12:15 Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.

Romans 14:21 [It is] good neither to eat flesh, nor to drink wine, nor [any thing] whereby thy brother stumbleth, or is offended, or is made weak.

1 Corinthians 8:13 Wherefore, if meat make my brother to offend, I will eat no flesh while the world standeth, lest I make my brother to offend.

1 Corinthians 9:19 For though I be free from all [men], yet have I made myself servant unto all, that I might gain the more.

1 Corinthians 9:20 And unto the Jews I became as a Jew, that I might gain the Jews; to them that are under the law, as under the law, that I might gain them that are under the law;

1 Corinthians 9:21 To them that are without law, as without law, (being not without law to God, but under the law to Christ,) that I might gain them that are without law.

1 Corinthians 9:22 To the weak became I as weak, that I might gain the weak: I am made all things to all [men], that I might by all means save some.

1 Corinthians 10:33 Even as I please all [men] in all [things], not seeking mine own profit, but the [profit] of many, that they may be saved.

1 Corinthians 12:26 And whether one member suffer, all the members suffer with it; or one member be honored, all the members rejoice with it.

1 Peter 3:8 Finally, [be ye] all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, [be] pitiful, [be] courteous: {love as: or, loving to the}

1 John 3:17 But whoso hath this world’s good, and seeth his brother have need, and shutteth up his bowels [of compassion] from him, how dwelleth the love of God in him?

Bible Stories

 Jesus Who was sensitive to the great needs of the multitudes (Matthew 6:39; 14:14; 15:32)  The Good Samaritan who was sensitive to the needs of an "enemy" (Luke 10:30-37)  Joseph was sensitive to the condition of the butler and the baker in Genesis chapter 40  The little servant girl who served Naaman's wife (2 Kings 5)

Character Definitions

 Exercising my senses so that I can perceive the true spirit and emotions of those around me. Being alert to the promptings of the Holy Spirit. Avoiding danger by sensing wrong motives in others. Knowing how to give the right words at the right time. (IBLP - Character Clues Game)  Using my senses to perceive the true attitudes and emotions of others. (Character First!)  Response to stimulation of the senses; heightened awareness of oneself and others within the context of personal and social relationships. (Chambers Dictionary)

How to Demonstrate Sensitivity at Home  Realizing that a family member's irritating behavior may be a sign of an unmet need for love.  Notice when a family member needs a word of praise instead of another problem to fix.  A parent being alert to attitudes of hurt, guilt, and disloyalty in the children.  Parents realizing that the seeds of a wounded spirit in a child can grow up into a crop of rebellion.  Being aware that rude words deeply hurt one another.  Understanding that a successful marriage and family is more important than a successful career.  Remembering special days and anniversaries in your family.  Avoiding words and actions that could hurt or offend another family member. at Work/School  Offering to help a struggling classmate.  If you are an employer, by not demanding that your employees spend an excessive amount of time at work allowing them the freedom to be with their families.  Encouraging your employer/teacher by writing a note telling them of ways in which they have benefited your life.  Understand the pressures your boss may be experiencing and offer to help serve in any way you can. at Church  Recognizing the need to allow the pastor to enjoy his "day-off" with his family.  Calling the pastor during office hours if possible so as not to take-away from time with his family.  Being aware of people's limitations and gifts and not asking them to fulfill responsibilities for which they are unprepared.  Teaching children to sit quietly in church services to avoid being a distraction.  Listening attentively to the sermon and Sunday School lesson.  Inviting individuals and families that seem to be on the fringe to your home for a meal.  Sending a special card to someone you know is hurting and letting them know that you're praying for them.

Potpourri

The "I Wills" of Sensitivity  I will listen to others fully  I will watch facial expressions  I will notice tone of voice  I will put myself in others' shoes  I will show that I care -Character First! Education Series 3

BE SENSITIVE TO TWENTY COMMON WAYS PARENTS PROVOKE CHILDREN TO ANGER 1. 1. By modeling anger. Proverbs 22:24-25 2. By not having marital harmony. Genesis 2:24 (Repeated four times in the Bible); Hebrews 12:15 3. By consistently disciplining in anger. Psalm 6:1; 38:1 4. By being inconsistent with discipline. Ecclesiastes 8:11 5. By having double standards. Matthew 23:1-4; Philippians 4:9 6. By not admitting when wrong. Matthew 5:23-26; Job 32:2; James 5:16 7. By constantly finding fault. Job 32:2-3 8. By reversing God-given roles. Ephesians 5:22-24; Genesis 3:16 9. By not listening to the child’s opinion or the child’s side of the story. Proverbs 18:13,17 10. By comparing them to others. 2 Corinthians 10:12 11. By not having time to talk with them. Ephesians 5:18 12. By not praising the child. 2 Corinthians 2:6-8; Revelation 2,3 13. By failing to keep promises. Matthew 5:37; Colossians 3:9; Psalm 15:4 14. By scolding him/her in front of others. Matthew 18:15; John 21:15-17 15. By giving too much freedom. Proverbs 29:15; Galatians 4:1-2 16. By being too strict. James 3:17 17. By making fun of the child. Job 17:1-2 18. By abusing them physically. 1 Timothy 3:3; Titus 1:7; Numbers 22 19. By calling them names. Ephesians 4:29 20. By having unrealistic expectations. 1 Corinthians 13:11

Four Probing Questions  Can you discern the true feelings of your family or friends without asking them?  Are you aware of the spiritual condition of those for whom you are responsible?  Do you experience times when your mind tells you something is right, but your spirit tells you something is wrong?  Have you ever given a gift which you later learned met a precise need? -Character Clues Game, IBLP

Being Sensitive to God's Will - Wherefore be ye not unwise, but understanding what the will of the Lord is (Ephesians 5:17)

Just about every Christian has asked the question, "What is the will of God for my life?" Whenever a Christian says that, he implies two things: 1. He doesn't know what God's will is but he would like to. 2. He would like to know God's will, but because he doesn't know it's God's fault.

I'd like to suggest on the basis of Ephesians 5:17 that if anyone doesn't know God's will, it's not God's fault, it's ours! God's will is not some nebulas, indiscernible information stored away in some filing cabinet locked up in heaven. God has clearly revealed His will to us in the Word of God and it's the same for every Christian. 1 Thessalonians 4:3 says, "For this is the will of God, even your sanctification..." Now that's not something we have to pray about. God's will is our sanctification! Simply put, sanctification is the process by which we become more and more like the Lord Jesus Christ and less and less like ourselves.

Many Christians who struggle with finding God's will for their lives are usually concerned about one of two things - where God wants them to go or what He wants them to do. But God's will is not primarily a matter of location or vocation. It is primarily a matter of the condition of our hearts. God is not so much concerned about where we go or what we do as He is about what we are.

Now If God's will is our sanctification and if we want to live in the will of God then, first of all, we will reject all those things which do not contribute to our sanctification. Are there things in your life that are hindering your sanctification? God has clearly told us that His will for each one of us is to become more like Christ in His character. Every day we have choices which will determine whether we are that way or not. And one of the choices we have is to consciously reject all those things which do not contribute to our sanctification.

But there's a positive aspect as well. It's not only rejecting those things which hinder our sanctification; but it's embracing those things which contribute to our sanctification. Jesus prayed for His disciples in John 17:17, "Sanctify them with Thy truth; Thy Word is truth." God's will is that we be sanctified, and Jesus is telling us how that happens - by a constant exposure to the Word of God. A Christian that is in the will of God is a Christian that is in the Word of God. God has given us His Word as His means of making us more like His Son.

Are you in God's will? Are you sensitive to those things in your life which hinder your sanctification and need to go? Are you spending time each day in the Word of God? Because a Christian that is in the will of God is a Christian that is in the Word of God.

Be Sensitive to The Touchpoints of Love for Each Family Member People express and receive love in different ways. Dr. Gary Chapman identifies these as the five languages of love: Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. If you express love in a way another family member doesn't understand, he or she won't realize you've expressed your love at all. The problem is that you're speaking two different languages. Perhaps your husband needs to hear encouraging words, but you feel cooking a nice dinner will cheer him up. When he still feels down, you're puzzled. Or, maybe your wife craves time with you; and the flowers you gave her just don't communicate that you care. Do you know each family member's love language? Here is an exercise that your whole family can try. Within each group, rate the sentence 1 to 5 according to what would make you feel most appreciated and loved. The number 5 represents what you most appreciate; number 1, in contrast, is what you least appreciate in each group. (No individual grouping can have a number repeated twice.)

Group One

A ___ Mom or Dad says, "You really did a great job on that. I appreciate it."

B. ___ Mom or Dad unexpectedly does something in or around the house or your room that you

appreciate. 9 The Character Council of Greater Cincinnati and Northern Kentucky – www.charactercincinnati.org

C ___ Mom or Dad brings you home a surprise treat from the store.

D ___ Mom or Dad invites you to go on a walk just for fun and to talk.

E ___ Mom or Dad makes a point to give you a big hug and kiss you before you leave the

house.

Group Two

A ___ Mom or Dad tells you how much he or she appreciates you.

B ___ Mom or Dad volunteers to type your homework for you so you won't have to.

C ___ Mom or Dad brings you home a special food treat from the local bakery.

D ___ Mom or Dad invites you to sit down and talk about your day.

E ___ Mom or Dad gives you a hug even when you are just passing by room to room.

Group Three

A ___ Mom or Dad during a party shares about the great grades you got in school.

B ___ Mom or Dad helps pick up your room.

C ___ Mom or Dad surprises you with a present you didn't know you were getting.

D ___ Mom or Dad surprises you with a special afternoon trip.

E ___ Mom or Dad holds your hand as you walk through the mall or stands by your side with an

arm around your shoulder at a public event.

Group Four

A ___ Mom or Dad praises you about one of your special abilities.

B ___ Mom or Dad brings you breakfast in bed.

C ___ Mom or Dad surprises you with a book you always wanted.

D ___ Mom or Dad plans a special night out for the two of you.

E ___ Mom or Dad will personally drive you to an event instead of you having to go on the old,

crowded bus with the team.

Group Five

A ___ Mom or Dad tells you how much his or her friends appreciate you.

B ___ Mom or Dad takes the time to fill out the long forms for school that you thought you

were going to have to fill out yourself.

C ___ Mom or Dad sends you something special through the mail.

D ___ Mom or Dad kidnaps you for lunch and takes you to your favorite restaurant.

E ___ Mom or Dad gives you a back rub.

(Transfer your scores from your test questions to the scoring profile below.)

Encouragin Acts of Quality g Gift-Giving Touch Service Time Words Group 1A___ B___ C___ D___ E___ Group 2A___ B___ C___ D___ E___ Group 3A___ B___ C___ D___ E___ Group 4A___ B___ C___ D___ E___ Group 5A___ B___ C___ D___ E___ Totals A___ B___ C___ D___ E___

Compare your score with your spouse/child/parent. Write down from the primary to the least of the love languages of each family member.

1. ______

2. ______

3. ______

4. ______

5. ______

Spiritual Warfare and How to Pray for Your Husband

The following list is designed to pray one request per day, thus enabling you to pray through it each month. Pray…

1. That he would totally submit himself to the Lordship of Jesus Christ.

2. That he would love the Lord with all of his heart, soul, and strength.

3. That he would be a man of wisdom, viewing himself, me as his wife, our children, others, and circumstances the way God does.

4. That he would grow in brokenness of spirit and humility, longing for God to reveal areas of needed growth.

5. That his heart would hunger and thirst for a closer, intimate relationship with God.

6. That he would understand that though he is a husband and father, he is a man under authority, respecting his authorities, as he desires his family to honor him.

7. That he would give first priority to spending time with the Lord every day in Bible reading, mediation, and prayer, and that it would be a source of encouragement and strength to him.

8. That he would realize his position of victory and power in Jesus Christ, casting down imaginations, and bringing every thought into captivity.

9. That he would experience God's perfect sacrificial love for him and because of that knowledge, love and cherish me, his wife, so that our marriage would clearly typify Christ’s love for the Church.

10. That he would be committed to and experience moral freedom, making a covenant to not look upon strange women to lust after them, and setting nothing immoral before his eyes.

11. That he would fully accept the way God has made him and me, understanding our differences as male and female, and enabling us to reach out to each other unselfishly.

12. That he would continue to grow in the skill of intimate, honest communication, reaching out to me in sensitive understanding, allowing a greater oneness of spirit between us.

13. That he would be committed to making his marriage a priority, delighting in me as a woman, spiritually, emotionally, and physically.

14. That he would be filled with wisdom to be the loving, wise, sensitive spiritual leader of our home.

15. That he would (continue to) make it a priority to lead our family in a regular devotional time.

16. That he would be a wise protector, shielding his family from the onslaughts of Satan and the world.

17. That he would value and understand each of our children's needs and strengths, being and doing all he can for their spiritual and emotional growth.

18. That he would know how to express his love and acceptance to each of our children, alert for opportunities to praise and affirm them, and be enabled to meaningfully communicate with them.

19. That he would make it a priority to spend quantity and quality time with our children.

20. That he would be a loving, consistent disciplinarian of our children, not provoking them to anger.

21. That he would grow in meekness, not given to anger, but when failing be given the grace to humbly ask to be forgiven.

22. That he would trust the Lord for the spacing and number of children in our family.

23. That he would make wise financial decisions, being committed to tithing our income, and remembering that God is the ultimate Provider for our family.

24. That God would protect and guard him from spiritual, emotional, and physical danger.

25. That he would be blessed with good health and strength.

26. That he would have a life purpose bigger than his occupation, keeping the vision of service and missions before his eyes.

27. That he would use his job to encourage and share his faith in a dynamic way with others.

28. That he would not compare himself with others, being concerned of God's evaluation of him.

29. That he would view the irritations of family life, occupation, and all of life's trials as God's best tools to build and refine his character, and be given the grace to delight in the Lord when the stresses of life increases.

30. That he would experience purpose in life and enjoy God's smile of approval as he lays down his life for his family and others.

Quotations

"I expect to pass through the world but once. Any good therefore that I can do, or any kindness I can show to any creature, let me do it now. Let me not defer it, for I shall not pass this way again." — Stephen Grellet

"The best portions of a good man's life are his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and love" — Unknown

HOW TO DEVELOP CHARACTER QUALITIES

REALISE THE IMPORTANCE OF LEARNING THIS CHARACTER QUALITY.

There are three major reasons why we must learn character. First, it reveals the true nature of Christ Who is the perfect fulfilment of each quality. Second, it is the basis for success in life. Lasting achievement is not possible without it. Third, it explains why things happen to us. God's ultimate purpose in our lives is to conform us to the image of Christ. Only with this in mind can we understand how all things work together for good. (See Romans 8:28-29.)

MEMORIZE THE OPERATIONAL DEFINITION.

An operational definition goes beyond the dictionary to include the practical function of the term. For example, listening goes beyond hearing to the interpretation of ideas, and the evaluation of how they can be used in our lives. Nodding, smiling, taking notes, asking questions, or making comments are manifestations of listening.

IDENTIFY THE QUALITY IN SCRIPTURE.

By using a concordance, various aspects of a quality can be discovered. For example, researching attentiveness would include studying verses which deal with listening, hearing, giving ear, and being still. In addition to verses, think of biographical illustrations that would illustrate both positive and negative aspects of the quality. Samuel listened to God's voice while Eli was inattentive to it.

EXPAND WITH SYNONYMS AND ANTONYMS.

Knowing what a quality is not is often as helpful as knowing what it is. Use a Thesaurus to expand your understanding of the words which were found in the concordance.

BALANCE WITH RELATED QUALITIES.

No quality stands alone; it needs others to keep it from being used inappropriately or incompletely. Attentiveness must be balanced with discernment and combined with obedience

LIST WHEN AND WHERE THE QUALITY IS TO BE USED.

Attentiveness is the first character quality to be learned. The ear is the first sensory organ to be developed in the womb. At least eighty percent of the communication in our lives depends upon attentiveness. The degree of attentiveness will be demonstrated during times of prayer, listening to sermons, hearing the instruction of parents, conversing with others, receiving discipline, and reading books.

DESIGN GUIDELINES TO LEARN THE QUALITY.

After understanding the importance and scope of a quality, think through practical disciplines that would be necessary to make that quality a living part of each area of your life. To be attentive, learn to sit still for a given period of time; do not talk while others are speaking; lean forward when being spoken to; take notes during sermons or instruction; and maintain eye contact during conversations.

TURN PROBLEMS INTO CHARACTER CLASSES.

During the week that you are working on a particular character quality, expect God to give you specially designed situations in which the quality can be better understood and more deeply applied. Welcome trials and temptations as character-building friends rather than resented intruders.

EVALUATE PROGRESS.

At the end of the week/month have each family member draw the name of another family member and answer the following questions:

 How was the character quality of the week/month demonstrated by that family member? Attentiveness to each person during the week/month will be required in order to answer this question.

 How could that family member have demonstrated the quality? Give respectful suggestions about opportunities which were overlooked

 How did I feel when that family member demonstrated the quality? Describe the emotion you experienced.

 How did I feel when that family member failed to demonstrate the quality? Explain your inward feelings and outward responses.

 What did God teach me through each situation?

Taken from the Advanced Seminar Textbook of the Institute in Basic Life Principles

Character Building Resources

The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. People express and receive love in different ways. Dr. Gary Chapman identifies these as the five languages of love: Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. If you express love in a way another family member doesn't understand, he or she won't realize you've expressed your love at all. The problem is that you're speaking two different languages. Perhaps your husband needs to hear encouraging words, but you feel cooking a nice dinner will cheer him up. When he still feels down, you're puzzled. Or, maybe your wife craves time with you; and the flowers you gave her just don't communicate that you care. In this book you will find a couple's guide to help you work as a team. Before you know it, you'll learn to speak and understand the unique languages of love and effectively express your love as well as feel truly loved in return. Order this book directly from our web site at http://www.hlm.org/onlinestore/ You will find it listed under Books/Marriage & Family.

Character First!® Education Booklet Series Character First!® Education Booklets contain sixteen full color pages with stories, crafts, songs, games, and teaching techniques for parents or teachers to use with their children. There are nine booklets per set complete with an attractive binder. Each booklet contains approximately three hours of instructional material on a specific character quality.

Character First!® Education materials can be used effectively in either a home, school, or church environment. We have been certified by Character First!® Education and can provide on-site teacher training in the UK for schools and churches wishing to use the Character First!® Education materials. E-mail us for more information on training classes at mailto:[email protected]

Series One Character Qualities: Attentiveness, Orderliness, Obedience, Forgiveness, Truthfulness, Sincerity, Gratefulness, Virtue, Generosity. Series Two Character Qualities: Responsibility, Resourcefulness, Patience, Discretion, Initiative, Creativity, Self-Control, Tolerance, Punctuality. Series Three Character Qualities: Diligence, Loyalty, Flexibility, Hospitality, Discernment, Enthusiasm, Boldness, Cautiousness, Sensitivity.

Order this series directly from our web site at “http://www.hlm.org/onlinestore.” You will find it listed under Character Building Resources.

IBLP Resources We are also privileged to be able to distribute a range of character building materials produced by the Institute in Basic Life Principles including Character Sketches Volumes 1-3, and more. If

16 The Character Council of Greater Cincinnati and Northern Kentucky – www.charactercincinnati.org you live in the USA, you may request a catalogue and order directly from IBLP by calling 630-323-9800, or writing IBLP, Box One, Oak Brook, IL 60522-3001.

Video & Audio Tape Messages by Dr. S.M. Davis on Courtship, Marriage and Parenting Dr. S.M. Davis is a much sought after conference speaker addressing issues on the Christian home. He is particularly well known for his presentations on alternatives to Christian dating. For a list of audio and video tapes available visit our web site at “http://www.hlm.org.” NOTE: If you live in the USA, you may order Dr. Davis' video and audiotapes by calling 800-500-8853.

Homelife Ministries - Pastures Farm Cottage - Kimbolton Road - Hail Weston - Huntingdon - Cambridgeshire - PE19 5LB - England - E-mail: mailto:[email protected] - Internet: http://www.hlm.org/