Owner of Paper-Highlught Which Paragraph on Which to Focus and Highjlight All the Blacklisted

The Steps of Writing Workshop

Part I. Structure and Analysis (Day 1)

1. In five groups, we will review the structure of a proper thesis essay and, more specifically, a thesis paragraph. Then, after reviewing the “pitfalls” or most common mistakes of writing, your group will be given a student model from this fall’s class set, and you will categorize which pitfall the student made.

2. After getting your own paper back and looking it over quickly, locate your MI and DIs that should be stated in your introductory paragraph and write them below. If you did not clearly state them, write down what you intended as your MI and DIs.

MI______DIs______

3. Pick one developing paragraph that you think is the weakest and mark/ star it clearly so that I can see which paragraph will serve as your workshop paragraph. Looking at the topic sentence of your chosen DP (developing paragraph) -make sure the MI and the DI of focus are both verbalized clearly. If both are present in the original topic sentence, please label them on the paper. If they are not clearly stated, rewrite the sentence below: ______

4. After the topic sentence, the developing paragraph should then lead into the first example. Locate the lead to the first example and label it on the original paper as LI#1. If you feel like this LI is good, pick a weaker LI in that paragraph to workshop. After I show you the classic pitfalls if lead- ins, decide if you fell into one of those mistakes. If you did, note here which pitfall you fell into: ______.

5. Lead-ins should function in two ways: First, a lead in MUST provide the context of the quotation/example; this means it should indicate what is going on in the text from where the DQ/EX came. A good lead-in should offer information about WHO is speaking or involved in the quotation, WHERE or WHEN it is happening in the text, and WHAT is happening. Look at your labeled lead in. Decide if you included all the appropriate context of your DQ/EX. If you did not include all proper context, label the WHO, the WHEN/WHERE, and the WHAT context on your original paper. If you did not write an appropriate lead in, indicate here which parts of the context you forgot.______

6. The second function of a lead in is to offer the emotional quality of the DQ/EX. This is especially true if the DQ is dialogue. Avoid simple, unrevealing verbs such as “states,“ “says,” or “shows” in your lead in. Use your diction carefully to suggest the emotional significance of the example. This will help you further impress the DQ’s significance in your analysis. With the proper context and the added emotional value, the transition from your lead in to your direct quotation and then to the analysis will be smoother. Look at the same LI#1 you labeled. Is the emotional value of the DQ suggested? If not, determine the emotional value of the DQ now and reword your lead in below so that it includes the proper context AND the emotional value. ______

7. Now we will look at your evidence. All evidence should be purposeful (quote only what you NEED), properly punctuated, and appropriately cited. It should DIRECTLY connect to the paragraph’s DI. If it does not, it should not be in the paragraph. If your DQ is a good choice for your chosen DI, then make sure it integrated nicely with your lead in. Then, check that there quotation marks around it. Finally, make sure the source citation is correct. If you stated the author of the source in your lead in, you only need to include the page number in the parenthesis following your end quotation marks. If you did not state the author of the source in your lead in, you must include both the author and the page number in the parenthesis. Please make any changes directly on your paper.

8. If your DQ is not good choice, then you must find a better example. Using any of the sources I have given you or borrowing from someone else’s paper, find a DQ that would better support your DI. Once you do that, write your new quotation below, making sure you extract only what you need, integrating it nicely with your lead in. Properly punctuate it with quotation marks. Verify that the source citation. If you stated the author of the source in your lead in, you only need to include the page number in the parenthesis following your end quotation marks. If you did not state the author of the source in your lead in, you need to include both the author and the page number in the parenthesis. Write the new quotation below. It should not be longer than 3 lines. ______

9. Finally, it is time for analysis. After I show you the common pitfalls of analysis, indicate here if you fell into one of the classic pitfalls of analysis and, if you did, write the pitfall here: ______

10. The analysis following any evidence should specifically target the chosen DQ-otherwise, your evidence serves no purpose whatsoever. The analysis should articulate HOW or WHY evidence proves the connection between the DQ and the DI-both of which should support the MI/paper’s thesis of your paper. The analysis is YOUR argument-your critical thinking. It SHOULD NOT BE a restating of another author’s perspective.

11. Look at your original analysis sentence(s). You should be able to find specific words from the DQ restated in your analysis sentence. You analysis sentence should then connect these words/key ideas and then connect them to that DP’s DI and the paper’s MI. Since very few of you actually did this, we will entirely rewrite (for most of you) or revise (for a few of you) your original analysis sentence. First, look at the quotation. Identify at least one word or phrase that resonates with your paragraph’s DI. Your analysis sentences should refer directly to this word or phrase. To analyze means to take apart and examine. Thus, in your analysis, you take apart your evidence and reveal to the reader of your paper how the evidence highlights your argument. That connection is YOUR job to verbalize clearly. Therefore simply saying “This shows” is terrible because you are reducing the body of your evidence to a single pronoun “this.” This lazy structure suggests that the reader him/herself must figure out which part of the DQ you are referring to specifically-Thus, since you are expecting the reader to find the DQ’s connection to your own MI, you are failing to argue your own point. That is not good. It weakens all support for your essay, it indicates the writer’s inability to argue his/her own point, and it highlights the writer’s lack of knowledge in basic essay structure.

12. If you need help getting started, use the model given: Possessive + Noun + Strong Verb Who/What is subject of DQ? What is the central idea of DQ connect to emotional value That you want to focus on?

Student Models on a recent essay:

Model A (weak): Topic Sentence, lead in#1, Ex#1, AI#1 Many of the scenes in Romeo and Juliet created suspense using dramatic irony near the end of the play. Dramatic irony creates enormous amounts of suspense with Juliet’s “death”. Juliet needs to find a way to not commit major sins. Finding advice from the Friar with no one else knowing their plan, she takes a poison to make her appear as dead. In act four scene four, the family prepares for Juliet’s marriage to Paris. The readers understand that they will soon to come across her death, but the family does not. Lady Capulet says, “Go waken Juliet. Go trim her up. Ill go and chat with Paris” (4.4.29). The readers know that when the nurse goes to waken Juliet she will be found dead. The characters don’t know what they are about to find when they enter Juliet’s room, but the readers know it will end as a tragic scene.

Model B (Strong paper) Topic Sentence, lead in, Ex, AI

Dramatic irony also provides Romeo and Juliet with suspenseful situations. The audience realizes Romeo’s sincerity when he states his love for Tybalt because of Tybalt’s relation to Juliet. Tybalt perceives Romeo’s claim for love as sarcasm when Romeo says, “But love thee better than thou canst devise till thou shalt know the reason of my love” (3, 1, 70-71). Tybalt’s misunderstanding of Romeo’s intent leaves the audience wondering what action Tybalt will take next. Once Romeo fights and kills Tybalt, the suspense only intensifies because the audience worries how Juliet will react to her husband's crime.