Miketz Sermon 2010 RFB

Sermon by Congregational Rabbi Robyn Fryer Bodzin on Shabbat morning December 4, 2010 at Israel Center of Conservative Judaism in Flushing Queens, New York

MIKETZ SERMON RFB

For the last few months, the media has been saturated with stories about bullies. But bullies are not new. Bullies have been around forever.

Who does not know of a child that has been bullied? Who does not know of a teen who was bullied? How about an adult? A sibling?

Who are bullies? They are those who take pleasure in intimidating and mistreating those that are smaller or weaker, or in less influential positions than them.

Though bullies are a universal plague, as the Jewish people we've suffered perhaps more than others from the bully phenomenon. From our earliest days, there have been those more powerful than us. We spoke about the bully Lavan a few weeks ago, but how can we forget the upcoming bully—the evil Pharaoh of Egypt who did not know Joseph. In almost every generation, there have been Hitler-like tyrants who have tried to rule over us through intimidation and mistreatment.

Back at the end of Parshat Noach, after the flood, after Noah and the animals are saved, and society starts over with a second chance, God says to humanity:

“Whoever sheds the blood of a person, so shall his blood be shed. For in the image of God, did God create the human.” (Gen 9:6) Torah commentators expand this prohibition to also include not publicly embarrassing a person.

As the verse says, each person is created in the image of God, and to cause a person to feel ashamed of who they are, diminishes them and diminishes the image of God. It can also lead to bloodshed, as we’ve tragically seen too often recently.

The other thing that happens after the flood is that God creates a covenant with the earth, as an agreement never to destroy the earth again. And the sign of the covenant is the rainbow.

According to Maimonides the rainbow is a bow, like the one used to shoot arrows. It is definitely a weapon, but it is a sign of peace because it is pointed away from the earth. It shines its true colors without the threat of violence or bloodshed.

As many of know, the rainbow has been reclaimed as the symbol of gay pride, originating in San Francisco in the 1970’s. The rainbow suggests the beauty of the diversity of humanity. The rainbow suggests that people come in all different colors and stripes, and all are created in God’s image.

A couple of months ago, I signed a pledge on behalf of myself and ICCJ for the organization “Keshet”, which means “rainbow” in Hebrew. It is an organization that affirms a place of dignity

1 | P a g e and honor in the Jewish community for people of all sexual orientations and gender identities. I signed a pledge to not stand idly by, and to commit ending homophobic bullying and harassment. And equally as important, to speak out when I witness anyone being demeaned for their actual or perceived sexual orientation or gender identity. I signed a pledge to commit to do whatever I can to ensure that every person is treated with dignity and respect. I urge you to sign this pledge as well. There is a link to it on my page of the ICCJ website.

As I reflect on my life thus far, I have been very fortunate to live a pretty sheltered, privileged life. As a white, middle class, straight, Canadian Jew born in the latter half of the 20th century and now living in the 21st century, I have had it well.

I have never faced direct anti-Semitism nor had my life threatened in any way.

I have never been a slave. I have never had any noticeable disability that would draw attention to me as being different, subject to potential ridicule. Sure I was never the tallest person or the thinnest person in the group, but I got away with it by being cute.

I don't remember being teased that much as a kid. There was something that happened with a girl who “was my best friend” in elementary school, but honestly, I have no idea what happened to her, and I might have been the bully in the situation.

What I am trying to say is that I have never really known what it is like to be subjected to humiliation, taunting, teasing, bullying or alienation. And so, for sure, I have absolutely no idea what it must have been like to be Tyler Clementi, or any of the other gay young people who took their lives this fall. These deaths are horrible tragedies, not only for their families, whose pain is unimaginable, but for us as a nation, as we mourn the loss of so many young people, because of the torment they endured for being gay, or being thought gay by their peers, or in Tyler's case, because of the public humiliation that he felt after his college roommates taped him and another young man being intimate in their dorm room and then streamed it live on the internet.

I have hinted at, or glossed over or outwardly shared several times before about my support of gays and lesbians, and how I believe that we are all created in the image of God. Like other discriminations of the past, I believe that we will one day overcome the discrimination against the LGBT community. And, in many ways, we have come a long way. Many families have opened their hearts and souls to loved ones who are gay. One day, I pray, all families will. In our community at Israel Center of Conservative Judaism, we are growing more sensitive and aware each year. We have gay families as members of our shul. And there are people who grew up in this synagogue who are presently in loving, same sex relationships.

We all don't have to agree, I know, but we all have to treat people with respect and dignity.

In Hebrew that is called kavod ha'briot, The reason I bring up bullying today, is because we are seeing the results of bullying being manifest in our Parsha. Last week, Joseph’s brothers threw him in a pit. Imagine being Joseph and the hurt and humiliation he must have felt. Joseph was the dreamer and scholar of the group, Sermon by Congregational Rabbi Robyn Fryer Bodzin on Shabbat morning December 4, 2010 at Israel Center of Conservative Judaism in Flushing Queens, New York while his brothers worked the field. Imagine the taunting that led up to the event. His brothers left him for dead. How is that any different than what happened to Mathew Sheppard 13 years ago, except that Joseph manage to survive without water, surrounded by snakes and scorpions, while Matthew Sheppard died.

Joseph’s brothers were horrible. Even when one or two had a moment of clarity, that what they were doing was wrong, the rest of the bad brothers would outnumber him.

In this week’s parsha, it is Joseph who has the power over his brothers. He is the one who speaks harshly to his brothers when he sees them first, at a time when he had food and they did not. Joseph tried to bully his brothers back when they visited him in the royal setting, but he could not do it, he kept having to go to a side room and cry. How his brothers emotionally abused him in his youth was haunting him now, when, really, he should have had the upper hand.

It is just so sad. The Joseph story gets me every year. I really don’t think he ever fully gets over the bullying and taunting he experienced as a youth.

A few months ago I shared with our ICCJ officers the Seven Jewish Values, the Guidelines for Inclusive community, as created by Keshet. These guidelines are for everyone, not just the gay community. Our officers gravitated toward these principles and agreed to have them framed and placed in a prominent place. You can see them in the lobby outside the Wasserman chapel, next to the coat room. I am going to take the time to share the principles, principles which I have internalized and adopted as part of my rabbinate, and part of being a member of the human race.

I hope you do the same.

This is how we should interact with one another.

1) With Kavod- Respect. Judaism teaches us to treat ourselves and others with respect; even the stranger is to be treated with respect. Kavod is a feeling of regard for the rights, dignity, feelings, wishes, and abilities of others. Teasing and name-calling disrespect and hurt everyone, so learn to respect people’s differences.

2) With Shalom Bayit. Peace in the home. Our community centers, synagogues, youth groups, and camps are often our second homes. Everyone needs to feel comfortable, safe, welcome, and respected at home. Don’t ostracize those who seem different. Strive to settle disagreements in peaceful and respectful ways that allow all community members to maintain their dignity.

3) B’tzelem Elohim IN GOD’S IMAGE - The Torah tells us that we are all created “b’tzelem Elohim” (Bereshit 1:26), in the image of God. This is a simple and profound idea that should guide our interactions with all people. We do not know the “image of God” except as it is reflected in the different types of people we encounter in the world. If we can remember that each of us, no matter how different, is created in God’s image, this

3 | P a g e idea can lead us to find the connection we have with one another and help create truly inclusive communities.

4) Remembering that Kol Yisrael Arevim Zeh Bazeh The Jewish principle that “All Israel is responsible for one another” (Shavuot 39a) means that it is our responsibility to stand up for each other, especially for those who are vulnerable and cannot speak up for themselves.

5) With Shmirat Halashon GUARDING ONE’S USE OF LANGUAGE - The Talmud warns us that we must take care in how we use language. Talking about others behind their backs, even if what we are saying is true, is prohibited. The guidelines for “shmirat halashon” remind us that what we say about others affects them in ways we can never predict. Words can hurt or heal depending on how we use them.

6) By always doing V’ahavtah L’Reiecha Kamocha “LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF” - Commenting on Leviticus 19:18, Rabbi Hillel once stated that this was the foundational value of the Torah. It begins with loving ourselves. We must love and accept our whole selves, and in doing so create the capacity for extending that love and acceptance to others.

7) With Al Tifrosh Min Hatsibur in mind. SOLIDARITY - “Don’t separate yourself from the community” (Pirke Avot 2:5). When you feel different from others in your community, don’t isolate yourself. Find allies and supporters who you can talk to. If you know someone who is feeling isolated, reach out; be an ally and a friend.

We live in a world of inequality where some of us will be stronger, richer, smarter, better connected and more influential, powerful or charismatic. How will we use these positions of superiority? How will we treat those beneath us?

I hope we don’t act like Joseph’s brothers when they threw him in a pit, and I hope we don’t act like Joseph when his brothers turn to him for help.

Let us try really hard to integrate these seven values when we engage with the other. Don’t be a bully. And if you feel like someone is bullying you, or someone you care about, meditate on the words of Eleanor Roosevelt. “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

Shabbat shalom Chag Sameach