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B.I.L.—O.E.P. Initiation Ceremony

We are gathered here upon this solemn occasion for the purpose of initiating into our fraternity the fresh candidate, who certainly is clean-cut compared to some in former years.

We must have our P.E.O. wives and sisters on hand occasionally to demonstrate the art of a model meeting. It is true that our brotherhood has no COTTEY COLLEGE, but we have all graduated from that celebrated school, that hall of knowledge, know as School of Experience.

The sisters of P.E.O. (phone each other) call us the B.I.L.s. Now if they are hinting that we should pay their B.I.L.L.s, they could at least spell the word correctly. Actually, we prefer to be called O.E.P.s and we make no secret of this meaning. Ours is the Order of Elegant Providers. The purpose, duties and other characteristics of the O.E.P.s (pronounced OOPs) are generally to provide the necessary funds to carry on the work of the P.E.O.s.

We also provide the P.E.O.’s home, furniture, children, meals to be cooked, socks to be darned, unexpected guests to be entertained, a pillow on which to lay their pretty little heads, and countless other joys too numerous to mention.

Ever zealous to provide for their welfare, we train diligently with such athletic equipment as golf clubs, baseball bats, bowling balls, shotguns, fishing rods, etc., all so that we may remain strong and agile enough to do a bigger and better job of providing. We also provide the sister with bon companionship (sometimes called bum), and on occasions like tonight, with darn good appetites, as well as nearly all the entertainment.

1 Under the heading of new business we have a very important matter of initiation, and I will now call upon our esteemed initiators to make final preparation of the candidate, so that he may attempt an affiliation with the brotherhood.

Prospective Brother, and I call you “prospective” because it is doubtful if you will be able to endure this ceremony. In this order we do not ask you to swear - - - but do you solemnly promise to keep all the secrets from everyone except your brother O.E.P.s? (Answer: yes)

Do you promise to keep your wife or sister in the dark about what we do at our meetings? (Answer: I do)

Above all else, if you stumble upon a P.E.O. secret, will you promise to share it with all your brothers, complete with all the sordid details? (Answer: I do)

Our research committee is diligently involved in a project of listing all the possible meanings of P.E.O. They search constantly about the house, prying open rusty tine cans, tearing up mattresses, and going through secretive-looking letters. Old copies of the P.E.O. RECORD are now being researched, as are the archives of the Historical Library. You may remember we issued you a copy of a book a year ago which revealed all the secrets we had accumulated to date. New additional secrets uncovered will fill another book of the same size.

In spite of our fabulous progress in research on P.E.O. secrets, we are stuck on the letter P. Rumor has it meaning “progress,” but frankly, we believe it means PUTTERING, something the girls seem to do a lot of. We realize, of course, that we may not be dealing with the English language, (the International convention is our clue). Gentleman, as members of the OOPs, it is your duty to pursue this elusive mystery to the very end of the earth.

2 The garter exemplifies the first degree of the O.E.P.s. The garter is in wide usage, being both ornamental and useful. In its lowly position it teaches us many things. Its firm clasp around our leg reminds us that we are bound firmly with fellowship. Its aB.I.L.ity to holdup under adverse conditions illustrates the way we should hold up our brothers in time of trouble. Its stretch portrays the helping hand of one brother stretching out to another. By the way, brother conductor, what have you heard from our brothers who are doing a stretch? Now there are times at which you will have all the stretch taken out of you—you will become undone and trail down at the heel—and heel or no heel, you can well afford to remember the lessons taught by the humble garter.

As brothers of O.E.P. we are tied together by more than one common bond. We wear ties fastened at the neck to remind us that only by severing ties with all other groups, such as BPOE--FOE—AAA--WIOOF, will we ever rise to the heights of this glorious order. Now, let us sever those ties, (cut tie). Let this signify that though you may be tied to a P.E.O., you can still be on the loose wherever they have a Chapter meeting.

The final degree is the degree of the hat. The hat offers its wearer the pinnacle of protection—protection against the elements, protections from jibes about diminishing hairlines, and protection of the brains of the wearer. The slant of a man’s hat denotes his character, so wear yours with distinction. We all look up to the hat—it is always at the top. And, as far as we are concerned, your top is tops. The hat is a symbol of our organization which we always strive to keep on the top.

Therefore, the signs of the Order shall be disclosed to you. They are: A snap of the garter A flip of the tie, and A tip of the hat.

As a new member of O.E.P. the conductors will inspect your aB.I.L.ities to demonstrate these signs in their proper sequence. It really is quite easy-----just remember------snap, flip, and tip.

3 Now for the official handshake, it is with the fingers crossed. (demonstrate) If you are caught by your P.E.O. with a likely story, you can always say, “Well, I had my fingers crossed when I said it.”

We will now invest you with your official emblem, the crescent moon. We have chosen the crescent moon as a natural accompaniment to the twinkling star of our P.E.O.s. The crescent moon protects the twinkling star, but its soft radiance does not try to outshine her. It also denotes romance—remember, without romance you would not have a P.E.O., and if you did not have a P.E.O., you would not be an OOPs! May your crescent moon bring you much happiness.

I now declare you a full-fledged member of one of the finest organization in the country. You are now a man of distinction. So, BROTHERS—a snap of the garter, a flip of the tie, and a tip of the hat to you all.

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