THE CAUTIONARY TALE OF SYLVIA SLUG AND SYLVESTER SNAIL
A short play
By
Bruce Shearer
Melbourne May 2013 4th Draft
Contact: Bruce Shearer 3 Young Street Ivanhoe 3079 Australia (613) 9499 1239 0409998112 email; [email protected]
Ó Bruce Shearer 2008 St.10 Cast
Sylvia Slug Sylvia is a quiet, reserved slug with a big hunger.
Sylvester Snail Sylvester is a quiet, reserved snail with a big hunger.
Anthony Ant Anthony is a friendly talkative ant who is the narrator.
Setting The play takes place on a cabbage plant on which Sylvia, Sylvester and Anthony live. 1. The cautionary tale of Sylvia Slug and Sylvester Snail
THE CAUTIONARY TALE OF SYLVIA SLUG AND SYLVESTER SNAIL
(LIGHTS COME UP ON ANTHONY ANT THE NARRATOR WHO IS SITTING ON A LARGE CABBAGE LEAF GESTURING TOWARDS SYLVIA SLUG AND SYLVESTER SNAIL.)
Anthony Ant: Sylvia Slug and Sylvester Snail live on a large leafy cabbage plant, in a small vegetable garden on a tiny planet called Earth. They sit on either side of their favourite cabbage leaf and contentedly munch at its tasty edges.
(SYLVIA AND SYLVESTER SIT ON THEIR LARGE CABBAGE PLANT, CONTENTEDLY MUNCHING ON THEIR FAVOURITE CABBAGE LEAF. SYLVIA SPEAKS IN A SOFT SLOW HIGH TONE AND SYLVESTER SPEAKS IN A SOFT SLOW LOW TONE. )
Sylvia: Cabbage cabbage cabbage cabbage. I long for you my crispy cabbage.
Sylvester: Tender, slender, delicious, crunchy cabbage. Nibble crunch, munch, munch you’re breakfast, dinner and my lunch.
Anthony Ant: Sylvia and Sylvester are good friends, very good friends indeed. Sometimes Sylvia slithers over to the edge of the leaf and bends herself around the leaf and has a long friendly look at Sylvester munching away quietly on his side. She might even greet him in a gentle, quiet, slug like way.
(SYLVIA POKES HER HEAD AROUND THE LEAF AND GIVES SYLVESTER A LONG FRIENDLY LOOK. THEN SHE SPEAKS SOFTLY TO SYLVESTER WHO DOESN’T APPEAR TO HEAR AS HE CHOMPS AWAY AT HIS LEAF.)
2. The cautionary tale of Sylvia Slug and Sylvester Snail Sylvia: Slick, stylish Sylvester. My fabulous friend. My slick and slimy friend!
Anthony: Often in the evenings, Sylvester slides over to Sylvia’s side of the leaf just to pass the time of day.
(SYLVESTER POKES HIS HEAD AROUND THE LEAF AND GIVES SYLVIA A LONG FRIENDLY LOOK. THEN HE SPEAKS SOFTLY TO SYLVIA WHO DOESN’T APPEAR TO HEAR AS SHE CHOMPS AWAY AT HER LEAF.)
Sylvester: Smooth, serene Sylvia. Sylvia the queen of the soft and serene. So smooth, so clean, soooo, seeerreeeene
Anthony: Sometimes they would sit side by side as the sun slowly slid behind the horizon, and watch the stars begin to appear, one by one as if they came out to dance and shine just for them. Sometimes they’d talk, sometimes they wouldn’t. It was a quiet contemplative life.
(SYLVIA AND SYLVESTER SIT SIDE BY SIDE, WATCHING THE SUN DISAPPEAR BEHIND THE HORIZON (LIGHTS CHANGING).
Sylvia: Slide slide and glide setting sun.
Sylvester: Disappear into the waning west
Sylvia: Begone, but come again.
Sylvester: Upon the morrow.
Sylvia: We shall once more borrow.
Sylvester: Your warming rays.
(LIGHTS CHANGE AND THE STARS START APPEARING ONE BY ONE.)
Sylvester: Winkle twinkle sprinkle little stars.
Sylvia: I wonder, how I wonder.
Sylvester: How near you are, or far. 3. The cautionary tale of Sylvia Slug and Sylvester Snail Anthony: Now I’ve said they are good friends, and they are. They are also rather hungry. In actual fact they are both just a little bit greedy when it comes to food. Because they are greedy, they both like to eat just a tiny bit more of the leaf than the other.
(SYLVIA AND SYLVESTER CAN BE SEEN BOTH SURREPTITIOUSLY EATING JUST A LITTLE BIT MORE OF THE LEAF.)
Sylvia: Just a wee bit.
(SYLVIA WATCHES SYLVESTER AND THEN TAKES ANOTHER BITE OF THE LEAF.)
And who will know?
Sylvester: A mouthful,
(SYLVESTER WATCHES SYLVIA AND THEN TAKES ANOTHER BITE OF THE LEAF.)
On the quiet.
Sylvia: A mere morsel.
Sylvester: But a trifle.
Anthony: Because they both like to eat just a tiny bit more than the other, they start watching one another a little more closely and are just a fraction less friendly. The more they watch, the more convinced both of them become that their neighbour is eating more than their fair share.
(SYLVIA AND SYLVESTER CAN BOTH BE SEEN CLOSELY BUT SURREPTITIOUSLY WATCHING EACH OTHER.)
Sylvia: That’s quite enough for you.
Sylvester: Good gracious, not another bite.
Sylvia: Don’t burst your shell.
Sylvester: Restrain your hunger sluggie. 4. The cautionary tale of Sylvia Slug and Sylvester Snail Anthony: Because they are both starting to eat just a tiny bit more, and then a little bit more than that, their lovely big, green cabbage leaf begins to shrink. There are many sideways glances and angry little sighs.
(SYLVIA AND SYLVESTER ARE OBSERVING THEIR CABBAGE LEAF SHRINKING BEFORE THEIR VERY EYES.)
Sylvia: What are you thinking Snail?
Sylvester: Enough is enough.
Sylvia: The time has come.
Sylvester: Stop while you still can.
Anthony: As the leaf gets smaller, Sylvia and Sylvester seem to get bigger. They stop saying hello and don’t even consider getting together in the evenings. They just munch steadily all day and all night.
(SYLVIA AND SYLVESTER VIA LIGHTING APPEAR TO GROW LARGER AND CAN BE SEEN MUNCHING ON THE LEAF ALL DAY AND THEN VIA A LIGHTING CHANGE, ALL NIGHT.)
Sylvia: I couldn’t bring myself to chat, even if I wanted to.
Sylvester: With things as they are, I just won’t bother any more.
Anthony: In both of their heart of hearts they felt rather sad about this state of affairs. Sylvester often resolved to go and talk to Sylvia about their reckless eating. He finally did and Sylvia did the same. They spoke so softly and from so far away that they could not be heard.
(SYLVESTER SLIDES JUST A LITTLE TOWARDS SYLVIA BUT WHEN HE SPEAKS HE IS OUT OF EARSHOT.)
Sylvester: Sylvia, we have to talk. We must address this wild munching. I implore you to consider the cost.
5. The cautionary tale of Sylvia Slug and Sylvester Snail (BUT THEN SYLVESTER STOPS AND SLIDES BACK AGAIN, JUST AS SYLVIA HERSELF MAKES A HESITANT MOVE IN SYLVESTER’S DIRECTION, WHEN SHE SPEAKS HE IS OUT OF EARSHOT.)
Sylvia: We must call a halt Sylvester. It is most imperative.
(SYLVIA AND SYLVESTER BOTH SIT WANTING TO STOP THEIR RECKLESS EATING, BUT UNSURE HOW TO. LIGHTS GO DOWN ON SYLVIA AND SYLVESTER AND THEIR CABBAGE PLANT AND THEN COME UP ON SYLVIA AND SYLVESTER PERCHED ON THE STEM OF THEIR NOW NON- EXISTENT LEAF.)
Anthony: One morning to their surprise and dismay, they found themselves perched uncomfortably on the stem of their leaf which was sadly, nowhere to be found. Where had it gone? They looked at one another in shame, especially Sylvia who was still chewing the very last mouthful of the leaf.
(SYLVIA MUNCHING VERY QUICKLY TO GET RID OF HER MOUTHFUL AND SYLVESTER ARE PERCHED AWKWARDLY ON THE STEM OF THEIR LEAF, THE REST OF WHICH NO LONGER EXISTS. SYLVIA AND SYLVESTER CRANE THEIR HEADS LOOKING FOR THEIR LOST CABBAGE LEAF.)
Sylvia: What’s become of our leaf?
Sylvester: It was here a moment ago.
Sylvia: I suppose Sylvester’s eaten it.
Sylvester: She just gobbled it down.
Anthony: They moved onto a fresh new leaf with the very best of intentions. It definitely would not happen again.
(SYLVIA AND SYLVESTER SETTLE ONTO A NEW LEAF.)
Sylvia: Won’t happen again.
Sylvester: It’s all under control.
6. The cautionary tale of Sylvia Slug and Sylvester Snail (SYLVESTER SEES SYLVIA SNIFFING FROM THE NEW LEAF AND ALMOST TOGETHER THEY BOTH TAKE A FIRST TASTING BITE.)
Sylvester: So soon.
(SYLVIA IS FURIOUS.)
Well you won’t beat me.
Sylvia: Greedy snail!
(SYLVESTER IS FURIOUS.)
Now just watch me.
Anthony: Despite their best intentions, it wasn’t long before they were tucking into the new leaf. Sylvia takes one look at Sylvester nibbling away and she starts nibbling too. Sylvester was only really having a taste, but when he looks up and sees Sylvia eating away in earnest, he keeps eating as well.
(SYLVIA AND SYLVESTER KEEP NIBBLING AWAY AT THE NEW LEAF WHILE KEEPING A CLOSE EYE ON ONE ANOTHER.)
Anthony: The second leaf disappears much quicker than the first, and once more they find themselves face to face on another bare stem.
(LIGHTS GO DOWN AND THEN COME UP ON SYLVIA AND SYLVESTER BACK ON THE BARE STEM OF THE NEW LEAF.)
Sylvia: What’s this?
Sylvester: Where has it gone?
Anthony: They both feel very angry about it and refuse to look at one another. Sylvia feels that Sylvester is behaving extremely badly. Sylvester calls Sylvia a glutton, very quietly. Snails aren’t given to bursts of emotion.
(SYLVIA AND SYLVESTER ARE PERCHED ON THE STEM, LOOKING ANGRILY AWAY FROM ONE ANOTHER.)
7. The cautionary tale of Sylvia Slug and Sylvester Snail
Sylvester: (QUIETLY) Glutton! Sylvia: Greedy guts.
(LIGHTS GO DOWN AND COME UP ON SYLVIA AND SYLVESTER WHO ARE NOW MUNCHING AWAY ON SEPARATE CABBAGE LEAVES.)
Anthony: Sylvia Slug and Sylvester Snail move onto the remaining leaves of the cabbage determined not to overeat. They are really quite full and only wanted to rest. Sylvester takes one look at a new leaf and can’t resist. Sylvia is already steadily chewing.
Sylvester: If you can do it, I can do it.
Sylvia: You won’t get more than me!
(SYLVIA AND SYLVESTER ARE NOW MUNCHING AWAY IN COMPLETE ABANDON.)
Anthony: They gnaw and chew and bite, and munch and suck, and swallow in a greedy wasteful manner, until they are so full they can hardly move. Suddenly there are no more cabbage leaves.
(LIGHTS GO DOWN AND COME UP ON SYLVIA AND SYLVESTER WITH BULGING BELLIES SITTING ON THE CABBAGE PLANT WHICH HAS BEEN EATEN BACK TO ITS BASE..)
Sylvester: Where have all the leaves gone?
Sylvia: I suppose we did it.
Sylvester: We ate all those lovely green leaves.
Sylvia: If only there was one more tiny leaf left!
(SYLVIA AND SYLVESTER CLING TO ONE ANOTHER AND CRY OUT TOGETHER.)
Together: If only we’d left just one!
(LIGHTS GO DOWN AND COME UP ON SYLVIA AND SYLVESTER AS THEY TURN TOWARDS A TINY NEW CABBAGE LEAF.) 8. The cautionary tale of Sylvia Slug and Sylvester Snail Anthony: Just as they said it, they saw one. It was a tiny, fresh, succulent young cabbage leaf. Suddenly Sylvia and Sylvester felt hungry again, very, very hungry.
(SYLVIA AND SYLVESTER HOVER OVER THE TINY LEAF WITH OPEN MOUTHS AND HUNGRY EYES.)
Sylvester: It’s mine!
Sylvia: No, it’s mine!
Anthony: It was such a tiny leaf, they felt that they might as well eat it. Especially before the other one got it.
(SYLVIA AND SYLVESTER ARE BOTH ABOUT TO DEVOUR THE TINY LEAF.)
Anthony: Then they both realized that this really was the last leaf.
Sylvester: If we eat this, there may not be any more.
Sylvia: If we eat this, our home, our beautiful cabbage plant might die!
Anthony: Although they were very tempted, and their tummies rumbled uncontrollably, they left the tiny leaf alone.
(SYLVIA AND SYLVESTER TURNING AWAY FROM THE NEW CABBAGE LEAF.)
Anthony: Sylvia Slug and Sylvester Snail sat side by side on the cabbage stump and felt sad that they hadn’t been content with their original cabbage leaf. They felt proud that they hadn’t eaten the new leaf, and were happy to watch it grow.
9. The cautionary tale of Sylvia Slug and Sylvester Snail (SYLVIA AND SYLVESTER SIT SADLY, SIDE BY SIDE ON THE CABBAGE BASE WATCHING THE NEW LEAF GROW.)
Sylvester: I still feel hungry.
Sylvia: Me too!
Together: But not that hungry!
(LIGHTS GO DOWN.)