TTxV ri1J3 filu rospect Park Yeshi

How often do you get together with your high-school friends? Regular reunions? Classmates'weddings? Or even - gulp - the weddings of your classmates' kids? However frequent or infrequent, each meeting probably leaves you with the resolve to "do this more often." Every encounter reinforces the feeling that there is something special about those friends who "knew you when," who shared the high points and the lows. Friends who shared that crazy, exhilarating sense that you were going to change the world, and the sinking adolescent fear that you were somehow out of sync with the world and would never get it right. And each time, as sincere as the resolve is, the reality of day-to-day living, suppers to be cooked, homework to be supervised, fam­ ily and friends who lay claim to your time, sets in. You promise yourself you will get together. You promise yourself that you will enjoy that special closeness of people who share so much with you. You promise yourself....

Consider this newsletter your meeting with your friends. You may find your class represented, and you may find your daughter's class represented. And you may find that "the more things change, the more they stay the same." Each stage of life certainly has its issues, and yet so often these issues simply reemerge in another guise. Some of you may be involved in the dating process and looking for guidance as you make very important choices. Or you may be guiding your children through the process, marveling at how the rules have changed, while seeking to find the core of eternal truth that never changes. You may be entering the work force for the first time as a young graduate, or reentering after time off to be with your family. Whatever your concerns, we hope you will use this newsletter as a way to share. Share your questions, and see how your former teachers respond. Share the answers you / have found in your particular experiences, in the hope / that others will benefit. Share your simchas with us - we all love to hear good news. And remember that times when the news is not so good, chas j v'shalom, friends are there to try and ease # your pain. Consider this newsletter a I reunion with Prospect Park friends J and teachers. Sit back, relax, f and enjoy. ' G.O. entertainment from Miriam Israeli, which they discussed current G.O. has kept the school moving, composer of "h nun xax who writes events with the girls during lunch. starting with a mock wedding, to her own music. With a “What if.. .we do ours” proj­ question of the week, mun contest, ect they arranged Friday night Shaindy Alter and games, games, games. We had naVn mVn groups throughout the area where Adina Berger basketball and nuna leagues twice a The 11th grade organized an inter­ girls congregated at licht bentching Shira Berkovits week and an exciting ping-pong school Melave Malka to which jun­ time and listened to other girls Michal Bouskila tournament. Walking around the iors from Masores, and Bais speaking on areas in which we Malka Bouskila building, you saw walls \ Jill Ben Dayan could all improve. Rochel Diamond that our artists designed; The goal of J.A.C. I recently had to research some halachos which I had never Chavie Fichman each grade painted their was to inform the really had the need to become familiar with. The first ques' Chavie Fischman own wall in their own students of needs in Nechama Fonfeder unique style. the greater Jewish tion I researched was whether or not there is a need for a Esti Gamzon population, and tenoyim, by a zivug sheini. The second question was liana Glatstein mntPH mobilize them in Aviva Goldfarb tefilla, rrpty, and whether or not the kallah at a zivug sheini wedding needs Devorah Goodman a program started by the Chofetz any other area of to wear a veil. The third question was whether such a Sara Grossman hishtadlus. Aliza Kappel ChaimHeritage kallah walks around the choson or not. Sarle Katz Foundation, is a program SLOPPY Play, Play, Play Shelia Klein that has been in the Chaya Leah Kleiner school for a few years, Not a year, but Baruch Hashem, I had been zoche to attend several Chani Koschitzki working to spread aware­ we couldn’t stop Yaakov D’Rav Meir were invited. entertaining, so... the seniors chasanos of zivugim sheinim this summer, one of which Chaya Langsner ness of ynn pu;'? ma'^n. This past Bluma Luftig year’s dynamic heads began a The evening was one of fun and worked on a cantata which they was my daughter’s. I don’t recall ever having had so many Chani Manheimer “maiirn Monday” routine. Every inspiration with an address by performed on iD’3 n”n on the sub­ Suri Markowitz Rebbetzin Rochel Lubin of Bais ject of n‘7’E3n. A school play was pre­ similar chasanahs in a short period of time. Monday they introduced the focus Aviva Mayerfeld of the week, which came together Yaakov of Boro Park Seminary. pared by two seniors for the Rivky Opshinsky with a jingle, a handout, or a game The girls from each school gave school’s entertainment. All prac­ Naomi Pifko to help the girls adopt this aware­ a presentation, games were tices took place on the girls’ own It was truly a pleasure to research all the appropriate hala­ Sara liana Pollack ness for at least a week or maybe played, and a good time was time and the results were superb. Lea Press chos. By the way, a zivug sheini kallah does not have longer. One example was ]nn had by all! The 10th grade The language department put on a Shaina Prussman Melave Malka was a wonderful creative assembly using Spanish, tenoyim, but she walks around the choson; in addition, Elisheva Rabinowich 1“Dn nx . The girls were invited to evening for which the girls them­ Hebrew, and Yiddish. It was a joy. there is no badeking and, there is a machlokes in minhag- Michal Tamar Respler switch shoes with someone for a Orit Respler couple of hours and see what it selves exercised their culinary tal­ The music and voice recital held by im in reference to a veil. There is no machlokes, however, Judy Rosenfeld means to put yourself in someone ents by preparing a delicious meal Mrs. Shapiro was sophisticated and about fully expressiong joy when there is a creation of a Tziva Ross else’s shoes. We also had an ongo­ in the school kitchen on Friday beautiful, enjoyed by all. Hadassah Sadowsky ing lesson a day, which was written morning. new family unit that brings an end to years of loneliness. Leah Sadowsky up by the girls and distributed to Gemach Frimie Serhofer each classroom at the end of 3rd J.A.C. Gemach’s philosophy in Prospect Michal Shimon! period. Jewish Affairs Committee took off Park is to get everyone involved in Put simply, we are grateful, very grateful, to the Ribbono Devorah Shteinman in a new direction this year. With doing something meaningful out­ Hindy Skovronsky Guest Speakers their expanded agenda, they keep side of themselves, whether it’s the Shel Olam and want to make ourselves available particu­ Nechama Stern New and interesting speakers have the school informed of all Jewish girls who regularly tutor or the larly to our alumnae who may be going through this diffi­ Zelda Szanzer communal activities in ’”x and ones who organize programs for Shani Szmulewicz always been a part of the school. cult parsha. Call us!! Norma Tepfer This year we had the privilege to around the world. They have Otzar, Ahi Ezer, Beer Hagolah, arranged D’‘7’nTl groups and ^p^x Rachel! Warshavchik hear from Rabbi Moshe Meir Weiss, Nefesh, HASC or JEP. Possibilities Sara Malka Weinberger Rabbi Dovid Orlofsky, Rabbi Y. collections for various families of were explored this year for helping Each chasuna and bais neeman b’Tisroe/brings us one step Chedva Weinstein Milstein, Rebbetzin S. Meisels victims in ’”x. They instituted JA.C. the blind, the deaf, and the elderly. closer to the Bais Hamikdash and the clarity with which Serel Wicentowsky (daughter of the Bobover Rebbe, circle with Dr. Press, Rivka We in Prospect Park stood to gain “^’’xT), and the school was treated to Schwartz, and Dr. Rosenshein in most of all. to resolve all of Klal YisraeVs challenges. If you have not yet received your mazal tov package and Overheard: “/ think this place is a camp with some learning taking place intermittently. ” if your name is not on this “I really disagree! There is hefty learning going on in all classes. The multifaceted activities allow list please be in touch and any girl on any level and talent to participate and organize. Our school is a happy place. ” share your simcha with us at: WWW. bloppy. org that Torah is the most important Occasionally, my students ask me admit former teachers - and certainly my Parents should inform their pre­ what I wanted “to be” when I was in Our teenagers about smoking and drink­ thing and that shouid be the focus parents - may find it funny that a high school. They act somewhat student who frequented detention ing. I don't mean by giving them lec­ of my iife and that is the true devoted principal, disappointed when I tell them that, more often than class chose to sit measure of wisdom. I know it, but tures and handing out anti-drug in fact. I’ve always wanted to be a on the other side of the desk, I find Rabbi Stern, is an paraphernalia, but rather by taking I am not sure if I feei it. So the teacher. it fulfilling to try and engage a integral and beloved advantage of situations that come question is, what is the ideai and classroom of 15-year-olds, up. If they see someone they know what should be my goal? Is the I have never needed to look knowing their thoughts first­ part of life at Bnos smoking, tell them it's dangerous to ideal to isolate us from the world far from home for thrilling hand because I was in their them and to others. Inform them that as much as possible? I know that I career options. My place not so long ago. Leah. lying drunk in a stranger's garden on can't Isolate myself completely, mother (Mrs. Schick) has been a devoted Putim is not "cool." but what is the correct attitude to A couple of weeks teacher for over impart to my children? Should I ago, the school psy­ 25 years and I can’t You write that "a heimishe" (by the want them to grow up not exposed chiatrist where I teach, AN ALUMNA imagine her ever spoke at the end-of-the- at all? But these things are impor­ ASKS: How much should you way, what does that mean?) friend has stopping. But, while I year luncheon and told an trust YO*i**g teenagers? I have a daughter who was secretly speaking tant to me. smiled in response to inspiring story. She said that heard that Rav Avigdor Miller on the phone with a boy for over a gibes about following in her she had grown up wanting to be z^tL had encouraged parents not year. That doesn't happen just MRS. CZERMAK: We live in the infor­ footsteps (I teach, among other a journalist, and in fact became a to let children have sleepovers at because she has too much time on her mation age. We are inundated with things, American History successful editor. But one Yom friends' houses. I have a heimishe hands. It's not a result of spending a words and pictures describing the Bruriah High School), teaching is Kippur she realized her disappoint­ friend whose teenage daughter Shabbos at a friend's house without "news" of the world. Is it important to something that I feel I would have ment in the thought of reaching spoke on the phone to a boy for supervision. It's something that has know? Should we be aware of the com­ come to, even if my mother had shamayim after 120 years and pre­ been a doctor, a lawyer, or “just” a slight­ hours at night for almost a year built up over time. True, people do ings and goings? The answer is yes - a senting Hakadosh Baruch Hu with stay-at-home mom. ly obses­ the books she had edited. So imme­ without her parents knowing. have a Yetzer Harah, and in many qualified yes, a hesitant yes, and a yes sively) love diately after Yom Tov, she began cases he wins regardless of our chin­ that is tempered by doubt. How much surveillance is neces­ I keep thinking back to 10th grade mine? Can retraining and entered the world of sary? uch, but that is beyond our control. We when Mrs. Galinsky was telling us one feel about a chinuch - because there is no way I believe that it is Important to know can only do what we can do and daven why she went into teaching. I forget client or patient the way I feel to “give back” to the world as effec­ RABBI STERN: You must trust your for s'yafa d'shmaya. the world and even more important to the context and the exact phrasing, about my students? And can they tively and meaningfully as teaching. teenagers. In reality you have no know that the world is not us. We lis­ but it was something along the possibly be having as much fun as choice, if they want to do something Invest in the chinuch of your child, and ten to the news, we absorb the facts, lines of always being in a “growing” I’m having?! I have never tried another profes­ that you don't approve of, they wilt. surveillance will not be as necessary. we try to filter what come into our environment. When I heard that, sion and I don’t think I will ever homes, all the while knowing "they" - something clicked, and I too want­ Think about the amount of time they The trust that you have in your child I am reminded of the time I gave a care to. My years in the classroom, and the responsibility that he or she not we are in control. ed to always be in a “growing” envi­ model lesson in Prospect Park. I on the teacher’s side of the desk, are away from home and you will real­ ronment, though I would have been feels towards you will often be enough called on a girl who seemed startled have brought me more than I ize you must trust them. loathe to admit that in 10th grade. that I noticed her. “How did she see dreamed a job could offer. Teaching to keep them safe. As we absorb the world around us and ___ become somewhat world­ me?” she whispered, too loudly, to also brings me a new appreciation But what exactly is trust and how does ly, we must continue The teenage years are the most her neighbor. I had to laugh out for my high-school teachers. Daily I AN ALUMNA ASKS: I change-filled, turbulent, exciting, it develop? I define trust as the knowl­ Mrs. to keep our home try to bring, among other teachers’ enjoy knowing terrible, and terrific years of life. To edge that your children know and rep­ a sanctuary. We attributes, Mrs. Bronstein’s things about iit- Czermak will not be surrounded by Idds of this age resent the values you have instilled in must remain warmth, Mrs. Weinberger’s efficien­ erature, art, day after day, year after year, makes them. Trust is not the statement "I only know your name an island in cy and clarity, Mrs. Shreibman’s music...The it almost impossible not to be magnetic personality, Mrs. trust you," but rather the result of the the sea of way 1 have when you meet her years sucked into their enthusiasm for Galinsky’s effectiveness, Mrs. chinuch that you have provided for the secu­ been raised I life. Don’t get me wrong, of course Rosenshein’s passion and love for your child. Use every opportunity to later, but the row and seat in lar day- there are difficult days too - days consider it teaching. Rabbi Stern’s wit and talk and share. Share stories about to-day. when the kids are annoying. I’m very impor­ which you sat. Mrs. Czermak humor, and my mother’s single- your growing up, stories about grand­ No mat­ not in the mood to perform at my minded devotion to her students tant to be parents that teach and illustrate those embodies warmth, wisdom and ter how best, and the class is stale and bor­ into my classes. I catch myself using values. If you're very comfortable, dis­ knowiedge- much of ing. But that too is a challenge and loud. “You think you’re invisible my teachers’ methods and even creetly share the mistakes that you able, and to grace, and so we asked her to the world I (usually) relish it. because you sit behind the pole?” I their expressions - and though my made when you were younger and the some extent respond to this classic and we know, questioned. “I know the feeling. students don’t realize why, I smile regret you feel. The more you instill this is how I r we must I pity my friends who clock in and When I was in high school, I chose at my private joke. these values from an early age, the measure intel- 1 most often asked always clock out at their desk jobs. They that seat too.” more you put them into practice, the ligence. On the r remember we may be bringing home larger pay- €A not ioAat Id- Hashkafa ques­ checks than I - and I hope so for more equipped your child is to handle other hand, ^ are different, So while some of my friends and ai in oa» livei 6€it loAat €oe 6eoome their sakes - but can any of them 99 the different situations that arise. I know tion. apart, and more. love their jobs as much as I, (I’ll Though no longer with us in the Prospect Park building, Rebbetzin Hoberman still IT in fact, the "economy" of the future will questioning its value or correctness is - in fulfillment. has an ongoing powerfui effect on the Prospect Park famiiy. (almost) force certain women to pursue a my humble opinion - out of order. We wage-providing job, there is probably help our children because we love them. In dealing with our young women who QUESTION: I “red” a shidduch. working 9 to 6. Her kids are welfare programs if they are some degree of choice as to how many Our gedolim have recognized the merit of feel "unfulfilled," we should examine The parents wanted 5 refer­ cared for by three babysitters. eligible? Is it better to sacrifice hours away from her children will be nec­ a Kollel lifestyle. Shouldn’t we? what we have done for them as teachers ences, no less. Then they said Her 2-year-old was thrown out your comfort level and go on essary. Here is where the Yetzer Hara and mothers during their developmental they would pro­ (otherwise known as negius - rationaliza­ QUESTION: An alumna called years. What have we done directiy or indi­ give it to the grams, tion) comes into play. An honest evalua­ recently saying she felt unful­ rectly to develop the Torah’s concept of Bachur to when eli­ tion of whether one must have those filled and empty. She had one’s purpose in this world, or have we check it out. gible, in things that this second salary will provide, always thought that this empty erred? Has misplaced ego motivated us to Are we order to versus the price being paid in the caring feeling was something that belittie the wffe/mother role, otherwise going too far REBBETZIN HOBERMAN be with for, and involvement with one’s children, would go away when she was known as being "just a housewife"? Has with the way your must be made. I would venture to say settled in life, i.e. married and the "value" of college degrees or potential we check? answers questions from alumni children that this is a very difficult task requiring beginning a family. However, it wage earning replaced the "value" of the more? chochmos Shlomo Hamelech, and formi­ seems not to be true. lofty position of ezer kinegdo/aim ANSWER: Some say dable integrity mixed with a great amount bYisraeti Regardless of what one may do There are times there is a of emunah and bitachon. She has a degree in special in addition to caring for one’s family, are when we are puzzled or bothered by of playgroup because he hits haftacha, that your children education and recently began the priorities clear? Whose achievements things, forgetting that our opinions are other children. I know that will fare well even without The woman who is a partner in the (full doing an intervention in the generate our respect, our envy - the irrelevant. Whether we theoretically won­ you could stay home and stUl their mother in the home, if or part-time) Kollel life (as well as those home of a Hindu family. She woman who is coping successfully in a dif­ der about the extent of the "checking" have a “leibidik" kid, but why you are working so that your who have chosen to be in the world of commented that as she watch­ ficult home situation, the woman who is today, our opinion only counts when we are these young mothers work­ husband can learn. Is this mechanchim), faces a different situation. es the mother doing things bringing up exemplary children, or the are involved in our own shidduchim, and ing full time? Does the end of true, and if it is, does it include around the house to take care woman who is excelling in areas other how we conduct ourselves. Torah justify the sacrifice, the times when the children There is a mesora today for Kollel families of her family, she wonders how than family life? where tiny babies don't see are sent to the babysitter just where the wffe/mother is working. It is is this woman different from When you are involved in "redding" a their mothers from morning so the mother can have a day not for us to pass judgment as to whether her? It is never too late to help someone, but shidduch, your goal - your agenda - is to till night? Should the babysit­ off? this is an acceptable or valuable way to surely this chinuch must begin when our try to get the shidduch going and b’ezras ter be the one telling the moth­ live. People far greater than us have How can we help this alumna girls are very young. As they observe Hashem bring it to a happy ending. If the er about the first tooth and ANSWER: One of the harshest realities encouraged this choice for those who and many others deal with this mothers and teachers who successfully parties involved are being less reasonable about the child's likes and dis­ in life is to recognize and accept change. merit it and are willing and able to adjust empty and unfulfilled feeling? convey to them their own happiness, sat­ than you like, then you can decide likes? Is this Torah, or is it the Today’s life-style differs considerably from their lives to it. A major expectation is isfaction, and fulfillment in their home whether you want to continue to pursue way we educate them that what was accepted - and/or standard - that this family will successfully replace a ANSWER: Finding satisfaction in one’s roles, our young women will develop by it or not. Leave your opinions out of it, most young women feel they during our growing-up years. It is cer­ higher-level "gashmi" pattern of living, life is directly related to the goals one sets. osmosis their own yearning to emulate unless you decide that something is mak­ cannot stay home? One girl tainly unlike the "norm" of two and three with a life permeated with a higher level If a young person grows up with the idea these role models. They will find ways to ing you have second thoughts altogether, told me that they were taught generations ago. of "ruchnius." It would be expected that that her primary function in life is to be an develop their own personalities and in which case you will probably and wisely that they must not view leaving if the wife/mother must be away from her eved Hashem who will dedicate her life to potential within the home, as well as in drop it. their babies as a sacrifice. This As such we must realize that our daugh­ children in order to have this type of being marbeh kavod Shamayim, she will whatever they choose to do along with young woman has a one-year- ters and granddaughters will probably be home, the couple will set their sights b’ezras Hashem find the means to fulfill their primary essence of being the partner As for my personal experience with old, works 9 to 5, is expecting, having wage-earning jobs. I believe that lower and minimize. that goal. in a bayis ne'eman bYisrael. "checking," 1 have found that a reasonable and does not see this as a sac­ many families will become a TWO salaried amount of inquiry is absolutely essential. rifice. She completely numbs family, in order to maintain a life-style that If this home is maintained with chochma We pray that she will do so as a wife/moth­ Beyond the "reasonable," it is actually the her maternal instincts and is ever-escalating. So, before we evaluate and simcha, b’ezras Hashem this bais er as well as through her own identity. In Our deepest condon- "checkers" who are creating a reputation believes it is for the sake of the "merit" of the woman who is working neeman bYisroel can be filled with great this triple role (selffwife/mother) she can lences to the entire for themselves and - as such - may be Torah. Is she right, or should in order to be a partner of the (full or pride and satisfaction, despite the usual choose to maximize all the skills and tal­ Diamond family creating their own problems. It is their she just use up all her cha- part-time) Kollel pattern of living, let us (and natural) trials and tribulations of ents with which she has been blessed and, on the petira of decision - to each his own. sunah money and supplement take note of the others - those who are raising a family. as such, should have a good chance at Rabbi David Diamond it with a part-time job or social working to reach or maintain a life-style having a deep sense of satisfaction and nro DDrix npj’ mpnn QUESTION: My daughter is 24, that one salary can’t cover. To impose upon a couple who is trying to married with 2 children, and is have this type of home with criticism or by

> began teaching all about sincerity and Shumli’s life ended just months before his Rabos machshavos blev ish...lt was not We created the simcha ofhascholas k’sivas q because the hours understanding and bar mitzvah was to take place. Much time meant to be. But we cannot let these sefer Torah, I’iluy nishmaso. No, Shmuli 1 were better than cor­ relationships. It's had been invested in learning his parsha months merely pass us by. Just as Pesach is will not lein, but many a bar mitzvah boy porate hours and about emotional before his will be called up growth and confi­ because I bad been departure for to this Torah aricf seeing my child dence and (touchy- lein from it. between the hours of feely words like) shar­ camp, leaving Shmuli will not 9 p.m. and 7 a.m. I ing and caring. Really. ample time to deliver a p shetal, know that the femi­ It really is. review and per­ nist revolution hap­ fect. Shmuli but many a pened because So when my husband faced many By: Chani Steinberg Borenstein 77 p’shetal will be ereated by the women did not want and 1 decided on our obstacles while talmidim who to be considered baby move to Philadelphia learning to lein. By Brendy (Soroka) Siev ‘94 this summer, we had will benefit from the donations made. We machines, but that's Each perek brought new ehallenges that a zeman cheiruseinu and Succos is a zman exactly what 1 felt a choice. Either the will not be able to dance with Shmuli, yet were difficult for him to overcome. Once simchaseinu, our family had a zman set like—a machine that corporate world for as a klal, we can embrace our Torah as our arrive at these conclusions them­ he achieved his goal, it was extremely sat­ had made a baby for someone else to me (out of town 9 to 5 really means 9 dancing and singing fill the street with a selves? What skills do 1 consider essen­ 44 care to 5, not 8 to 7) or teaching. And we isfying, for not only had he learned how to simchas haTorah the like of which no one for, while I worked like an unfeel­ tial to the high-school experience? No, Shmuli will not lein, ing, seemingly-never-exhausted, gen­ thought about it and weighed the pros lein, he had overcome every hurdle that has seen. Perhaps our ahavas haTorah will and cons, and on the corporate side the stood in his way. We were proud of him but many a bar mitzvah rise to Shamayim and beseech HKB ”H that derless corporate executive. And I I was once a cog in the corporate wheel. only pro was—money. Which is quite apro. and anticipated the nachas we would feel we should know no more sorrow. wanted more. 1 wanted to be a mother. Now I have ownership of my class­ boy will be called up to this room. I ruminate, I cogitate, 1 set the k as we stood in shul with our friends and But we sat down with papers and cal­ Our sorrow was replaced with some joy, So I became a teacher—high school tone, I make my own decisions, I help Torah and lein from it. culators and said, "We gotta make our emptiness with fulfillment, and an English, grades 10 through 12 (9th shape people. I feel empowered. Tm grade and A.P. came a year later). And teaching work." Because there are so absolute end with the hopes of new begin­ the queen of my classroom. in becoming a teacher, 1 became a new many pros to teaching. Because my me. nings. Eitz chaim he lamachazikim bah. person. I became myself. husband finds his wife the senior And there's nothing like watching a account executive—with her tears, her child's writing Improve over a year, to I have not been so intellectually stimu­ nervousness, her anxiousness, her lated since college. Nowadays, I read. I hear students think more maturely, achy weariness at the end of the day— analyze incisively, understand the create. I change. I think. I explore. 1 a mere shell of his fulfilled, happy, MOA M3N ‘NAn>IOOda analyze. A lot goes into preparation— human experience a little bit more dynamic, and excited wife the teacher. up on Monday morning. Until then, we universe; because of some literature I've intro­ And I find her that way too. a 3nN3AV t^09 I managed by leaving the drinks out on the it's Just so exhilarating. I get to think. ned to my And ponder and research and understand. duced in the classroom. There's noth­ fire escape to stay sort of cool (another joy ing like leaving dog-eat-dog So we found a way. And that's why I dVd XOHdSOdd of apartment living) and by storing my And then I get to organize and deduce Manhattan—that seif-centered every- Joined Torah Academy of Philadelphia HV3T SONO son’s milk in the refrigerator of our and decide—what do my students man-is-an-lsland ladder—for a roomful this September and not Johnson & neighbors two floors up. need to know? How can 1 help them of students. There's no competition. It's Johnson. •Up It was at that point that I inn D-iDT ) called my mother. I’m tired of being an adult, I said. I Rabbi Leib Kelman opened the extremely modest. Yehi Zichrum Hashanah as the day on which we 1z‘94 want to go back to a time when evening with kapitlach of Tehillim Baruch. celebrate the malchus of Hashem. l’'ilyut nishmas the niftarot, Understanding that all events broken refrigerators (and surgery, Chani Fridman Teitelbaum rt "P have meaning because they are and hospitals, and doctors’ visits, and and Rochela Fishelis Alstock On Monday the 22"' of September, the Hashem’s will, allows for a more rators go death) are things that someone else has rrp. He told a moving story from Prospect Park Bnos Leah auditorium meaningful teshuvah. ailed the to take care of, not me. anuit^iy UMWCIL/UIM^; imuauv/it tirvi ... an apart- HaRav Dunner about the serious fiiled almost to capacity with alumnae what it means to be a grownup. But final ment building). Between his Pidgin I realize that I’ve been lucky. Rachmana effects we could cause when we While Rabbi Stern could not join ly, it was the refrigerator that did me in. English and my non-existent Spanish and friends who came to honor a tragic litztan, some of my friends, some of my hold a hakpadah, a grudge us in person, his dafyomi shiur tried to convey the urgency of getting a loss for our Prospect Park family. classmates - some of you - have had to against another. He urged all of that night was I’iluyi nishmas In the midst of all this life- our alumnae to let go of hurt the girls as well. Over $ 1800 was altering busy-ness, I found ££ j j grow up in this sense much feelings and forgive anv who have Mrs. Press gave a profound shiur collected in their memory. myself having to go into I rushed home...my refrigerator had died. ' sot away with being wronged us, vV»p7. on a broad dimension of teshuvah. school one Friday. School a kid until I was twenty-five. A particular emphasis was placed May all the members of their fami­ being over an hour away from my home, I repairman in before sunset that evening. But at whatever age it happens, growing Mrs. Press continued the evening on the importance of Rosh lies and friends find nnnj. prepared as much of Shabbos as I could Yes, yes, he assured me, he would do his up is hard to do... Try breathing... Try cop­ with a description of both girls as in advance, rushed to school, and as soon best. ing with the swerve ball... and rest "salt of the earth," rich with the val­ as I could, rushed home to embark on a ^^rl3 D^riK mpnn assured that a small part in you is being ues of responsibility and consistent very hectic few hours of cooking. And dis- loyalty. Both of the niftarot were actualized all about sincerity and Shumli’s life ended just months before his Rabos machshavos blev ish...\i was not We created the simeha of hascholas k’sivas I began teaching understanding and bar mitzvah was to take place. Much time meant to be. But we cannot let these sefer Torah, I’iluy nishmaso. No, Shmuli because the hours relationships. It's had been invested in learning his parsha months merely pass us by. Just as Pesach is will not leiti, but many a bar mitzvah boy were better than cor­ wiU be called up porate hours and about emotional before his growth and confi­ to this Torah arid because I had been departure for dence and (touchy- lein from it. seeing my child camp, leaving feely words like) shar­ Shmuli will not between the hours of ing and caring. Really. ample time to deliver a ^ irieto/, 9 p.m. and 7 a.m. I review and per­ but many a know that the femi­ It really is. fect. Shmuli p’shetal will be nist revolution hap­ By: Chani Steinberg Borenstein 77 So when my husband faced many ereated by the pened because and I decided on our obstacles while talmidim who women did not want move to Philadelphia will benefit from the donations made. We to be considered baby learning to lein. this summer, we had will not be able to dance with Shmuli, yet machines, but that's By Brendy (Soroka) Siev ‘94 Each perek brought new challenges that a zeman cheiruseinu and Succos is a zman a choice. Either the as a klal, we can embrace our Torah as our exactly what I felt were difficult for him to overcome. Onee simehaseinu, our family had a zman set corporate world for he achieved his goal, it was extremely sat­ dancing and singing fill the street with a like—a machine that arrive at these conclusions them­ me (out of town 9 to 5 really means 9 had made a baby for someone else to isfying, for not only had he learned how to ^^No, Shmuli will not lein, simehas haTorah the like of which no one selves? What skills do I consider essen­ to 5, not 8 to 7) or teaching. And we has seen. Perhaps our ahavas haTorah will care for, while 1 worked like an unfeel­ lein, he had overcome every hurdle that tial to the high-school experience? thought about it and weighed the pros rise to Shamayim and beseech HKB ’’//that ing, seemlngiy-never-exhausted, gen­ stood in his way. We were proud of him but many a bar mitzvah derless corporate executive. And I and cons, and on the corporate side the we should know no more sorrow. I was once a cog in the corporate wheel. only pro was—money. Which is quite a pro. and anticipated the nachas we would feel wanted more. I wanted to be a mother. Now I have ownership of my class­ boy will be called up to this as we stood in shul with our friends and Our sorrow was replaced with some joy, room. I ruminate, I cogitate, I set the Rut vup sat dnwn with rvaners and r-al- family, as our Shmuli would be called to Torah and lein from it. our emptiness with fulfillment, and an So I became a teacher—high school tone, I ’ English, grades 10 through 12 (9th the Torah. He was excited about the absolute end with the hopes of new begin­ shape singing and dancing, surrounded by friends aside that would be a simehadik time. nings. Eitz chaim he lamachazikim bah. grade and A.P. came a year later). And the que in becoming a teacher, I became a new and family. person. 1 became myself. And tb €S child's ■ I have not been so Intellectually stimu­ hear si lated since college. Nowadays, I read. I This was the year that I finally grew up. covered that my refrigerator had died. Needless to say, the repairman showed create. I change. I think. I explore. I analyzi Graduating high school, seminary, col­ up on Monday morning. Until then, we analyze. A lot goes into preparation— human lege, didn’t do it; marriage and the birth of This is some kind of law of the universe: managed by leaving the drinks out on the it's Just so exhilarating. I get to think. because my first child didn’t do it. While all mile­ stoves die on Erev Pesach (it happened to my fire escape to stay sort of cool (another joy And ponder and research and understand. duced I stones, those are things you can experi­ of apartment living) and by storing my Ing 1 ence without ever confronting the son’s milk in the refrigerator of our And then I get to organize and deduce Manhat unyielding realities of life. It was neighbors two floors up. and decide—what do my students man-is- this year, which brought the serious illness of one close need to know? How can I help them of stud( It was at that point that I family member, and the peti- called my mother. I’m tired rah of another, that forced growing of being an adult, I said. I me to do that. As my husband Rivka (Press) Schwartz ‘94 want to go back to a time when Rabbi Leib Kelman opened the extrerr / and I rearranged our schedules broken refrigerators (and surgery, evening with kapitlach of Tehillim Baruch and lives to accommodate daily hos­ V'ilyui nishmas the niftarot, pital visits, as I spent long days (and and hospitals, and doctors’ visits, and Chani Fridman Teitelbaum iT'P nights) alone with first one and then two mother a few years back); refrigerators go death) are things that someone else has and Rochela Fishelis Alstock On Mond children, I felt that I was getting a thorough late on Friday afternoon. I called the to take care of, not me. TT'p. He told a moving story from Prospect (and entirely unwelcome) initiation into super. (Ah, the joys of living in an apart­ HaRav Dunner about the serious filled almost to capacity with alumnae what it means to be a grownup. But final­ ment building). Between his Pidgin I realize that I’ve been lucky. Rachmana While Rabbi Stern could not join effects we could cause when we ly, it was the refrigerator that did me in. English and my non-existent Spanish, I iitzlan, some of my friends, some of my and friends who came to honor a tragic us in person, his daf yomi shiur hold a hakpadah, a grudge tried to convey the urgency of getting a classmates - some of you - have had to loss for our Prospect Park family. that night was I’iluyi nishmas against another. He urged all of In the midst of all this life- _ . grow up in this sense much the girls as well. Over $ 1800 was altering busy-ness, I found our alumnae to let go of hurt earlier. I got away with being collected in their memory. myself having to go into feelings and forgive any who have Mrs. Press gave a profound shiur I rushed home...my refrigerator had died. a kid until I was twenty-five. wronged us, on a broad dimension of teshuvah. school one Friday. School A particular emphasis was placed May all the members of their fami­ being over an hour away from my home, I repairman in before sunset that evening. But at whatever age it happens, growing on the importance of Rosh lies and friends find TTOTIJ. prepared as much of Shabbos as I could Yes, yes, he assured me, he would do his up is hard to do... Try breathing... Try cop­ Mrs. Press continued the evening ing with the swerve ball... and rest with a description of both girls as in advance, rushed to school, and as soon best. "salt of the earth," rich with the val­ nn:i’ mpnn as I could, rushed home to embark on a assured that a small part in you is being very hectic few hours of cooking. And dis­ ues of responsibility and consistent actualized loyalty. Both of the niftarot were Mrs. Fink is our wise and regal teacher, ^c/e a mechaneches as well as Seminary J Coordinator par excellence. Mrs. Fink manages By:. Shiffy Engelsberg Steinberg ‘90 ella A”H all this as well as organizing superb schoolwide On April 22, nineteen hundred and ninety, events. These are her responses to some Chaviva Esther Schurayetz came into the Engelsberg family. Mirel and Liba Price’s grandmother She was so very beautiful, you could see that by her face, alumnae questions that came our way. And her actions were careful, filled with elegance and grace. As she walked down the aisle on the day of the chasuna, ALUMNA’S QUESTION: A lot of eli­ home with her children and also the Please be assured that with your There are so many reasons we were She was davening with focus, concentration, and intense kavana. gible yeshiva boys and their fami­ threat of the influence of the work­ efforts as a parent and our efforts as proud of our sfrong and generous grand­ Her tefillos were directly sent to Hashem Elokim, lies all seem to want girls with place. Perhaps then, she will negoti­ mechanchim, we must ask to be mother. Her last day was spent in waiting, And now she surely sits next to Him in the shamayim. degrees who can make ends meet ate for part-time work or choose to as always, until her little charges were zoche to a tremendous siyata d’sh- Chaviva taught her children to daven that way too. more than they want a stay-at- study for a degree that allows her to safely on the bus, homeward bound. This maya that in a great measure our To speak your heart and tell Him whatever is bothering you! home mom. Don’t the mothers of be home for her children. children remain insulated and pro­ She trusted Hashem completely, and she taught the boys to know. was a constant in her many years as the these boys want girls who will tected from the negative messages of Not only your father and mother, but the Ribbono Shel Olam loves you so. director of Bobov Pre-school. Her stay at home for their sons and ALUMNA’S QUESTION: I grew up the outside culture. The majority of We should try to emulate Chaviva when we daven every day. devotion to her “charges” at home and in families most of the time? in a wonderful/rww home with a students are getting the message of And her memory will be blessed in this very special way. school was monumental, overshadowed TV and its trappings. My high- Now everything Chaviva did was well thought through. only by her devotion to Hashem MRS. FINK answers: The question school friends were the same. I the chinuch of their parents and And she strived each and every day, to become a better Jew. Yisbarach. you raise is a very valid one. Several went to seminary and reassessed. teachers. I always admired how she was able, with tremendous ease. years ago someone framed a siniilar As many of us did, I veered to the To pick up the telephone and speak to a Rav, about a problem, if you please. question at a Torah Umesorah eon- right. Our home does not have a You are saddened by your daugh­ During the shiva, the Hatzalah member She discussed all angles with the Rav, until she felt satisfied. vention and posed it to the TV My children go to a school that ter’s enticement to the pizza store, who had taken our grandmother to the And this was true in health and sickness, until the day she died. Noviminsker Rebbe. She said: “The is more to the right than the one I etc. Try to be sensitive to her nisay­ hospital told our family that as the stroke Chaviva was a tzenua, that’s clear to all of us. girls’ schools are teaching the girls went to. How sad it is for me to began to take over her body, she began to on. It’s hard to judge individual She was careful in her dress and speech, never showy or making a loud fuss. three mutually exclusive and there­ see my teenage daughter being speak. It was a little difficult to make out tchonot. Stay close to your daughter. Just like her name, Chaviva, she was dear to all she knew. enticed by the scene at the pizza what she was saying at first, but then he fore contradictory messages.” Show her love while you continue to And Esther, a hidden or quiet queen, now that was also true. store, the music, and the TV that I instill Torah values. The Chazon Ish said Chaviva was a saver, most things could be used again. understood; her last words were “Cover ‘A. It is the ideal that a mother struggled to stay away from. I try tj>t> ban And Shaul praised the flair she had when she picked up a pen. me properly, please.” should stay home with her children. to teach and be somewhat accept­ iiaipo hnit bRttv Chaviva taught me cooking tips, let me share them if 1 may. ing - but I feel sad that this is B. It is the ideal for a girl to want to Use olive oil when you cook or bake, margarine just does not pay. Rabbi Abraham Kelman, yibadel I ’chaim teach. C. It is the ideal for a girl to what came of my efforts. Why is it Your daughter is traveling through a And when you make your challah, mix whole wheat flour with the white. tovim, her esteemed brother, will miss marry a ben Torah and support that there seems to be a pattern? difficult but passing stage. Hang in And no one will complain at all when they take the first bite. her as surely as will the chinuch world him!” That the children of those who Chaviva was sick for so long - five and one half years. she gave to for decades. So too will the become frutn revert? there. Continue to daven for her. The message you are teaching and And we all davened for a refuah shleima and cried with heartfelt tears. orchim who enjoyed her warm hospitali­ The Rebbe replied that although it But Hashem decided it was not to be and took you to Him now. that she is learning from school will ty. However, we, the grandchildren who seems contradictory, the schools MRS. FINK’S answers: You are And we must all get up and go on, but I keep asking HOW? come across, and I am sure she will shared her house, her weekly homemade should continue to promote all describing the nisayon of living in I see your smile on my fridge and think of you every day. b ’ezras Hashem mature and you will challah, and all that came along with it, three ideals. Each girl, in whatever an open, free society where our But it is hard not to be able to pick up the phone when I have something to say. have nachas from her. are feeling more than ever the blessing, path she personally will forge for Yiddishe kinder are exposed to goy- From where you are, high up above, reasons are clear to see. the extra special blessing, we merited in herself, must simultaneously be ishe values. You are writing in And you’re surely davening for Shaul, the boys, your friends and family. mindful of the other two important absolutes. “What’s wrong with our Faigy Sllverman- Dear Chaviva, what is there left to say except I LOVE YOU, our grandmother. messages. For example, if a girl is chinuchT “Why is it that there seems And may Moshiach come quickly bimhayra biyamenul marrying a ben Torah and is forced to be a pattern?” Thank you so much for Yehi Zichrah Baruch. to compete in the workplace, she all your help & editing. li nci must be mindful of the ideal of being Mrs. Shany Kohen is the youngest and Interviewer: How did you choose to go into chinuch'* newest lOth-grade Chumash teacher in A GRUDGE Once upon a time there was a girl who was hurt by the decision of a teacher. The decision, maybe right and, as it Prospect Park Bnos Leah High School. Mrs. Kohen: It’s my DNA. My family’s lifeline is chin- goes with human beings, maybe not so right resulted in the girl being very, very hurt and very, very angry for a Cleveland - Yavne horn and hred, she is a uch. My immediate and extended family are all in chin- powerhouse. Here is a short interview to uch. I personally love learning and I enjoy sharing what very, very long time. introduce her to our alumnae. I’ve learned. Being in chinuch, as you can imagine, helps my own ruchniyus. I like to give, to inspire, and One time a relative of this girl met this teacher and said, “She is still so angry at you.” The teacher, shocked and Interviewer: What do you think is the most impor­ be inspired by the process. pained, tracked the student of many years ago. Getting the full mechilahms not a simple thing; the hurt and anger was deep. In the very month when that mechilah was actually given, this particular teacher got the “yeshuah" in her tant idea to convey to our girls while teaching them Interviewer: Who most influ­ personal life that she was waiting so long for. Chumash'* enced you to make you the I How do you teach teacher that you are? Dear Alumnae, we are all human. We all try not to hurt each other. Please, please forgive us and others who err. Please, Mrs Kohen: I tell my girls on please don’t hold a grudge. the hrst day that my goal is the angry, rebellious i Mrs. Kohen: My father has an not to make them into i open, straightforward, as well talmidei chachamim but to students or the I as deep and challenging per- increase their ahavas Hashem I sonality His very warm style is and ahavas haTorah. non-academic ones? what formed me. Both my ar Gidul Bani parents made the Shabbos for From a ’77 Alumna Interviewer: How do you us twelve k’’ah children fasci­ teach the angry, rebellious As parents and teachers, we teach you are my life. You are not put­ nating. There were rides for students or the non-academic ones? Torah standards and we discipline. thing that a friend’s mother had ting a knife through my heart. Yes, the younger children, zemiros for each one to solo, lots Most of all, we are role models, said to her. She told her, “You I am upset at the way you dress; Mrs. Kohen: My zeide, Rav Miller V’jfT, encouraged of contests and riddles; Shabbos was a vibrant experience. and must always give unconditional know you are putting a knife building a positive mindset...! explain to the girls that however, I know that one day you love and then daven...daven...and through your mother’s heart, ruin­ even though they may have some legitimate reasons to My parents emphasized that Shabbos was “tov I’hodos will see the beauty of our way.” daven.. ing her life, causing her untold be upset or angry, it is important to get a handle on it. I’Hashem.” At every seuda we went around the table anguish.” My daughter came home For example, I suggest that they focus on five small pos­ and announced what we were grateful for. These kinds This particular alumna told me that her son, I was dealing with an ongoing cri­ and wanted to know if it was true. itive things they can be grateful for. It could be new of experiences made our family more open to showing who had also been struggling, is Baruch sis with my teenager. During this shoes, it could be the supper they ate. As for the weak­ emotions of all sorts. All in all, it is natural for me to Hashem back in yeshiva. He recently told her trying time my daughter came that if she had not been “nice” to him through er students, I try to modify the work so they too can love my students as my parents love us. I told my daughter, “No, it’s not feel successful. home one day and repeated some true. You are not ruining my life. his struggle, he would have been gone forever.

to Jewish History and had a professor make basheit, your talking to Hashem will members? brother who has Down Syndrome. family person who loves and cares offensive remarks about nevuah. I couldn’t make him wait or come back. very loving, funny brother.” The girls were moved by the genuine deeply for all of his relatives. He graduate without this particular class, and RABBI BLUMENKRANTZ: One sug­ love Mrs. Pultman expressed, as well enjoys his nieces and nephews. As for there was no other professor offering it. I How often should I get together with my gestion I can offer is to make a serious tmiAt etien^ iAn^/e e/oent An the ones named after his parents, he was advised to try to get out of the class. It chasan'? effort not to be on a first-name basis as the respect she has for her brother. Aluei Aoa meanAncf-j (mcl says that he loves them, but would wasn’t simple; however, I was able to get with the men in the office. Mrs. Pultman shared some fiinny sto­ vnlne Aa lo 6eAAmxe lAxzl no- the necessary credit through a self-study RABBI BLUMENKRANTZ: I’ll tell ries, some bits and pieces about her rather have his parents. ^^^imilAcm At accAcimilaA. course that the head of the department you what I tell my own children. brother and his life. For instace not Rabbi Stern reluctantly agreed to. Engagement creates a closeness that only is her brother not demanding — The girls in Prospect Park wondered is discussing translates to developing emotions. The he is responsible and as neat as a pin. whether there had been any shame or QUESTIONS FROM ALUMNAE IN WANTED issur of yichud becomes stronger at this riuaVn rnain He goes to shul three times a day and fiustration in having a brother with SHIDDUCHIM: time and one needs to be more careful. Friday mornings at can find anything in a siddur. Down Syndrome. Mrs. Pultman A COMPUTER Generally, I encourage dating and 10:30 am in Prospect Park. seemed a little bewildered by the Can I go out with more than one boy engaged couples to go out in the after­ AND PRINTER Please join him. question. “It was really my parents’ simultaneously? noon rather than at night. At night there Most of all Mrs. Pultman emphasized attitude that filtered down to us kids. are fewer people in the streets and that her brother is a mentch. She Please call: RABBI BLUMENKRANTZ: If there is ri AmouM/n^ lAe wAo/e described how he recently greeted the Mrs. Shreibman an extreme circumstance at play. It is - Tzipporah Heller family returning from a levaya with a 718-837-1484 One of the hallmarks of Prospect Park is its diver­ PHONE CALL FROM A 2000 ALUMNA; “I am in uitin.K » L-UlvirAIN Y IMMENSELY. WE THOUGHT WE sification in the area of chesed. The creativity and school and working, but I want to do something very WOULD LET YOU LISTEN IN ON THE SICHAS CHULIN OF YOUR FORMER TEACHERS. the heartfelt com­ “Once on Erev Pesach, we realized that we meaningful when I “I took my son to practice before his road “1 changed to a shul that would be elevat­ passion continue can - can you help had left the matzos in Lakewood. My hus­ test. He was so nervous anticipating this ing. 1 did the same when I chose a bunga­ in our alumnae me find some­ band and I looked at each other and said juncture that I turned and I said, ‘Avraham, low colony. Like they say in real estate - long past gradu­ “Let’s not yell at each other.’’ Now when­ imagine if we would feel all this excite­ it’s a lot about location, location, location.” A/u‘7n/\.a£ a/idi’ thing?” There was ever tensions rise, we say, “Let’s not yell at ation. plenty to do. ment or anticipation every day at - Rabbi Kramer each other.” And we go on from there” - shachris’.” - Mrs. Mati (Frankel) Eisen Mrs. Czermak Read and marvel “Like everything that’s important and pre­ PHONE CALL “Yom Tov preparation is just me and my cious, marriage needs work. A relationship “My family does not mind becoming as you eavesdrop FROM A ’97 girls. I don’t allow any phone calls when I requires a lot of opeimess and flexibility to fleishig at lunch any more. This year there on some of the ALUMNA: This is am in the kitchen with the girls” - Mrs. Press work issues through. A good idea is to have was no ice cream to eat in our phone calls that a classic...”! want fun together and laugh a lot. A key THE PHONE CALLS home. Our family made this deci­ ingredient, of course, is the ability come my way: a Yissaschar and sion after hearing Rav Frand speak to know what to look away from Zevulun relation- about the chiyuv to do something to and what to address.” - Mrs. Lipsett PHONE CALL FROM AN ‘84 ALUMNA: T ship. Can you set it up for me?” feel with the matzav.” - Mrs. Cohen reeently went through a very diffieult tekufa. My hus­ This alumna is now helping another alumna of “We shouldn’t spend so much time band and I went out for the day and it revived me. It “Is there any difference between the Prospect Park whose husband is learning. talking about changing the ‘sys­ also made me think about the people who may be girl who wishes for the BMW and the one tems’ out there as much as we should show who dreams of the Avraham Yehoshua - going through difficult times and don’t have the extra PHONE CALL FROM A ’03 ALUMNA: “I am a “A vitamin you can give your children to interest in developing our own true convic­ Brisker boy only? Is one less status seeking money for time out together. Mrs. Shreibman, I want ensure good chinuch is a regular vitamin tions and the courage to act on them.” - recent kallah — I did what you said. I sat down with my than the other??” - Mrs. Press to enable others who are in crisis to be able to have called ‘no.’ For example, say no to the out­ Mrs. Press father and said, ‘You know lots of people, can we find a fit even if you could afford it because it’s quality time with their husbands - I want to start a way to help my single friends? Not everyone has names “I make my daughter call my husband right to say no. Have the courage to set “Why does the storekeeper seem so sur­ fund.”...We have already activated a fund whose goal and connections.’ My father promised to help.” from the store.. .to thank him for the outfit standards.” - Rabbi Kramer is to provide time out for couples who otherwise could­ his hard work enabled.” - Mrs. Rosensbein prised when after a purchase my daughter turns to me and pointedly says thank you?” n’t afford it. PHONE CALL FROM AN ’03 ALUMNA: “We “Perhaps the most important thing to “My son packed up after Pesach, all his - Mrs. Press have a case of chicken. Do you know someone in remember is that you can’t read someone suitcases were in the car ready to go, but I else’s mind. You don’t know what some­ PHONE CALL FROM A ’77 ALUMNA: T am a need who could use food for Shabbos?” “Give your children’s mechanchim respect. asked him to come back for a minute into one is thinking or feeling - and he doesn’t parent of a ‘99 Prospeet Park alumna. We are making I ask parents, ‘Would you treat your sheit- As it turns out, we had prepared Shabbos for a family the house. When he came in, I informed know what’s going through your mind. a chasuna and we would like to pay for a kallah in el mocker the way you sometimes treat in need but were missing the chieken, but with this him that in this home there are rules and You must communicate what’s on your need - do you know of someone?” We did. Prospect Park alumna - not for long. regulations and he has to comply. He knew mind in a calm, respectful tone - and then your child’s teacher?” - Rabbi Kramer exactly what I meant and as long as I was you will find that you will be able to talk TEHILLIM at Devori Treuhoft’s / Wednesdays / 8:30 pm /1821 East 26th Street asking for my rights ‘inside’ and not ‘out­ about absolutely anything and find satis­ “You want to know when a girl calls you Rena Assoulines’s father & Sara Blumberg’s mother side’ (where the other guys were waiting) factory ways of dealing with things. You and says she is nervous to say ‘yes’ to an he acquiesced and gave me the dutiful but won’t always get your way, but you will engagement, how you can know if it is just Lea Press spoke to Cleveland high school girls were...“I was so bad...I ate a ton...I’m going to really Itry warm kiss. Be mindful of your rights.” find that that is less important than letting normal nerves or something that really - Mrs. Bronstein needs attention? Well, first I listen to her about a common “fixation. ” to just keep my mouth closed... I just have to fast today - the other person know you respect him and voice — it tells me a lot. Then I try to find to stop eating period. Watch me, today I will be good (no his feelings enough to bring things up for She said to her audience of teenage girls, “You know, what I like about the school is discussion. The ideal is not “me” and out if she is generally a nervous type or if carbs).” the feeling of simcha and vitality and “This is what I hear a lot from “you” - BUT WE”.- Mrs. Bronstein there are serious issues to be dealt with. I Lea appealed to the girls on many openness that is felt between teacher and take note of the fact that she says when she teenage girls, - levels to fill and fill and fill students.” - Mrs. Sima Hilsenratb is with him for 4-6 hours she is fine...” ‘I was so bad’... or “We don’t all teach about being wife or y’Nishmartem their lives. She enumerated - Rebbetzin Hoberman ‘I’m going to really try to just mother and an upright person directly but countless ideas of how to fill “The Rabbis Kelman did everything for keep my mouth closed’... or that is our school mission statement...The their lives with meaningful me when I lost my husband. They called school mission statement is not about marks “Healthy people don’t think about their ‘Watch me, today I will be L’Nafshosaychem activities, me every day and did not stop until I was or the best seminary.” - Mrs. Stefansky head, heart, eyes, and joints, etc. Rich peo­ good.’” but what she finally put forth is this: If you can’t acknowl­ on my feet. I will never forget this support” ple don’t think about the telephone or gas edge that weight/food is an obsession or if you are not at - Mrs. Menasbe “When we hear of someone’s difficult situ­ bill. Secure people with healthy self­ Sounds like ripples from a Yom lyun; but no. Lea’s talk was this time ready to take active steps to make your life more ation, just passing along the news perpetu­ esteem don’t think about their ‘selves’ - as about obsessive thoughts. It was about a value that takes “I met a person I consider a hero this morn­ productive, at the very least, commit to doing this: ates a smallness of sorts. Acknowledging in “He said to me, and I felt. “He didn’t say over to the point of control. To make them understand. Lea ing. This young man was in camp with me the Vp3, awkward as it may be, is to me and I expect.” Press let her high school audience hear the end of these sen­ one year, and he gave away all of the tips actualizing within us the no to the Vpto. - - Mrs. Press tences. DON’T TALK ABOUT WEIGHT, EXCERCISE, he made on visiting day just to get his eld­ Mrs. Stefansky CALORIES or DIETS. This in itself will bring about erly mother home from the country in style “My granddaughter told us she is sorry it’s The complete sentences she let them in on a fuller and healthier person in both gashmiyus and - by car service! To me that is a hero.” - the end of the summer because in the sum­ Mrs. Lifcbetz nichniyos. mer she feels SMART .” - Mrs. Lifchetz As we cherish and stand in awe of our mesorah, it is sometimes necessary to sift out the supersti­ tions and folk tales from that which has its source in our Seforim Hakodoshim.

Rabbi Blum, a renowned posek who teaches in our high school, was kind enough to go through our By: Chumi Rosen Friedman ‘83 list and point out what is a “bubbeh maiseh” and what is actually an inyan based on our mesorah. Recently my daughter’s school had a beau­ She talked about her memories of growing She talked about how years ago when Not making a kiddush for a newborn girl, may mean she will have a problem getting a shidduch. This is said in the name of the tiful mother/daughter event. It ms for the up and watching her parents on Erev Rosh someone would call for Info on one of her Chazon Ish z”tl, that a kiddush is a segula for a shidduch, because of the brachos that people give. sixth and seventh grades, and its focus was Hashanah and Yom Kippur, days on which students for a shidduch, the questions on “Becoming Bat Mitzvah.” It was a night just looking at their children could bring her were always about middos and personality. of song and dance, good food, and of parents to tears. She related how one Erev If there was a question about appearance, it Should the tefillah “Hamalach " be put on a newborn’s crib? One can’t eat food Knock on wood or “poo-poo” to defray an course wonderful speakers. While Shuli Rosh Hashanah she had to take a child to - This is common in some circles. However, you must be left under a bed. ayin hara - Knocking on wood is of Christian was always asked in such a way that you Calek spoke to the girls, Rebbetzin Esther the doctor. On the way home — just a cou­ careful that it is covered when the baby is being changed. - Shulchan Aruch origin. No known source on “poo-poo. ” knew that the person asking was embar­ Reisman addressed the women. She ple of hours before this “Day of Awe” — rassed to have brought the subject up. touched on a number of issues Can hurt your eyes by touching them Is going to npinp, to the nap of Wnp p Will wearing something inside out Nowadays, she said, one of the relating to mothers and daugh- fit without washing negel vasser. irov a nVuD for a m»©? cause you to forget your learning? first questions she gets asked is ters, but I believe the essence - Gemara Shabbos A irtJn but no known source - Aishel Avraham, Shulchan Aruch about appearance, without reser­ of her message is applicable to ...we have become casual; vation or embarrassment. all of us. Not permitted to say Tehillim at night? Will leaving a room with a sefer left open Thinking something bad will - Many poskim permit if you were cause you to forget what you learned? - happen can make it happen. we have become superficial She talked about the importance not able to say it during the day. Shulchan Aruch, - Pesachim kuf yud She talked about how we have 55 of giving our children space to lost the currency of words. For in many ways. example, Rosh Hashanah and grow, and at the same time being One can’t sew an item of When passing a dog, say­ Yom Kippur are referred to in English as the a role model for them to look up to. When clothing that someone is ing ''U’lechol Bnei YisraeC she happened to pass a nail salon. Inside we try to be our children’s friend, we can wearing unless they chew TRTTF can protect you. - Only if High Holy Days or Days of Awe. But today, she saw one of her students and her stu­ the dog is familiar with cause a loss of parental respect. thread while you are doing OR she said, so many things are awesome — dent’s mother having their nails done. the pasuk. Actually, it. - Machzor Nitri (Vitri) the new ice cream flavor, a great pitch, a Understand them, sympathize with them, though, there is a source. FALSE? new outfit. Words have lost their meaning Her point was that we have become casual; but always, always, give them someone to and we have lost their understanding. we have become superficial in many ways. emulate. Stepping on egg shells can cause a rash Getting married at the end of the or pimples. - Gemara Pesachim Stepping on a nail can cause a miscar­ month is to be avoided. - Rama riage - Gemara Niddah Will you stunt growth by walking over Chesed Available to Alumnae One can’t sit with fingers intertwined? / often get calls from alumnae looking to dig their fingers deep into something meaning­ someone? - no known source One may not learn on Xmas. - - no known source Chasidim refer to this as Nitel night ful. Here are some ideas that have worked for others: Is eating mVn a nVuD and are noheg not to learn. Is consitent rtJiD in nt£?K a for easy labor? nVuD for a irin? Our alumnae have been opening their home to various shiurim during the year. We encourage you to A JTTJn - but no known source Is eating a cake baked by someone in early open yours. It rejuvenates the host as much as the guests who come to learn. stages of labor a rtVvD for children. A jrtJn - but no known source Call Mrs. Shreibman / 718-837-1484. Is saying D’V’rrri with the name of a A JiTJD but no known source One can’t use raw onions that were person a rrVvD? cut and left out overnight. Partners in Torah needs many volunteers. I encourage all of you not to let a fear of being unable to When you daven for someone else A ;>nOQ - but no known source - Shulchan Aruch answer questions keep you away. You can always say, “I’ll check it out for you.” you get answered first. - ""V’Hashem Call Mrs. Rosenshein, Miss C. Hamburger or Mrs. Lifchitz at 718-376-3337. pakad es Sarah ” Is davening 40 days at the a One should cut nails on alternate nViJD for a irin? days in a certain order. Mrs. Steinberg is in need of volunteers who will call or visit the elderly on Shabbos. A jrtja - but no known source Is saying ttrtD Friday night for 40 days a nVuD for a fn’©? - Rama, M’GA Call her at 718-627-5602. A jnoa - but no known source Chai Lifeline has many needs that can’t be filled by young high-school volunteers. Eating olives without olive oil can Will a red string from Kever Rochel adversely affect memory. Call Rivky Miller at Chai Lifeline at 212-465-1300 or 212-699-6616. One hiccups because someone is protect against Ayin Hara? - Shulchan Aruch - no known source talking about you. There are many troubled families with children that could use a stabilizing hand. - no known source Ayin Hara only affects you if you Will planning something on Shabbos Call Rivky Berger at 718-435-5700. believe in it. - To a certain extent - cause it not take place? Pesachim Kuf Yud - no known source Our deepest heartfelt condo­ Monday Night Shiurim in Prospect Park WDOT nnVnVDD lences to these alumnae who have lost loved ones: What I Learned from a Student • Mrs. Press started the year with her class in Chumash text Hamakom yenachem eschem and continued with a small select group that meets in her home. bsoch shaar aveilei tzion *BEDANA NEWIRTH ONCE WROTE AN *I LEARNED TO PAUSE I v’Yerushalayim. • Mrs. Shreibman and Mrs. Rosenshein gave classes on ESSAY THAT THE PEJORATIVE TERMS WHEN TEACHING. DOES A Inyanei Megilla in preparation for Purim. ^^FARFRUMT' OR ^FARCHNYUKT' ARE TEACHER REALLY NEED USED IN A VERY SPECIFIC CONTEXT. TO GO 65MPH ALL THE Ella Goldenberg ALL OF US ADMIRE PEOPLE WHO ARE TIME, OR DOES THE STU­ Freida Bergstein • Mrs. Shlomtzie Weiss gave sessions on the different levels of MORE ^^MEDAKDEKr WHY THEN DO DENT LEARN BETTER AT Rachel Blumberg neshama and preparing your soul for Shavuos. THESE WORDS ELICIT NEGATIVE 50 MPH WITH PAUSES? I Sara Blumberg ALSO LEARNED TO FEELINGS? TO EXPLAIN, BED ANA Baila Feig • This summer classes were given by Mrs. Galinsky, Mrs. Shreibman, RESPECT STUDENTS AND ' Rivky Nimchinsky WROTE THAT BAIN ADAM VCHAVEIRO WATCH EVERY WORD I Rabbi Stern, and Shlomtzie Weiss, and a chavrusa on Ezra HAS TO BE IN BALANCE WITH Leiba Rosenzweig BAIN SAY. I ONCE REMARKED & Zecharya was led by Devora Schmulevitz. ADAM LAMAKOM. THE MORE A PERSON THAT SOMETHING SOME­ Rana Reisman IS SEEN AS STRIVING TO PERFECT ONE DID WAS STUPID. Barbara Samet • This Elul, Mrs. Rosenshine gave moving classes in prepara­ HIMSELF IN MITZVOTH KALFEI AFTER SEEING THE REAC­ I Chayie Stegman SHAMAYIM, THE MORE HE MUST BE TION OF OTHER STUDEN I S j Sara Tepfer tion for ptn ♦P*. SEEN AS STRIVING TO REFINE HIS AND THINKING ABOUT K'-'. CONDUCT TOWARDS HIS FELLOW WHAT I SAID. I HAVE MAN. SHE USED AVRAHAM AVINU AS NEVER DONE IT AGAIN. AN EXAMPLE. HE WAS CERTAINLY THE MRS. WIEDERKEHR ROCHEL What some of our 12 th graders said on ^^FRUMESr’ PERSON, HAVING BEEN ______FISHELIS the last day of school about what they THE FIRST TO BE MAKIR HASHEM ON ALSTOCK WENT HIS OWN. HE THEREFORE HAD TO BE K got from 4 years of Prospect Park: *A STUDENT “HOME.” THE BIGGEST GOMEL CHESED WHO I *A STUDENT ONCE EVER LIVED SO THAT HIS CALLING ONCE THANKED TOLD ME THAT I “When is her boo-boo bet­ Sarah Leah R.: Integrity. Yashrus Devora S.: Friendship, deep and OUT B ’SHEM HASHEM COULD BE ME FOR BEING FROM OTHER ter?” he asked. is a big thing in our school. meaningful friendships are what I ACCEPTED AND ADOPTED BY ALL PEO­ ON HER TAIL. TEACHERS THEY Honesty is very important. I have from my 4 years. PLE. I HAVE QUOTED THIS STUDENT SHE SAID IT LEARNED THROUGH “When is Mommy coming MANY, MANY TIMES OVER THE YEARS. REALLY HELPED. YIRAH, BUT FROM learned that you can’t sneak here MRS*.PRESS ME THEY LEARNED ' home?” she asked. or get around things easily. Zesel C.: Warmth is what I got THROUGH from Prospect Park, though in 9th RABBI STERN “Kinderlach,” he answered, grade you don’t pick up on it. Shira S.: Respect. In Prospect A tribute to the Bostoner Rebbetzin “Mommy went to her real home, and we will sorely miss Park you develop respect for the (Reb. Frenkel’s mother) Tvy Yitty: Understanding. Prospect her.“ by S. Horowitz fact that there are many ways to Park has people who really under­ be oved Hashem. stand where you come from. I will forever be grateful for the relationship Rochel, although a successful I was zoche to merit with you, my dear mother-in-law. accountant, was the kind of You brought out my potential of giving unconditionally. mother who regularly sat on You taught me how to love every Jew. the floor and played with her JWWi I Wl IIIW4I ^1 I o III 1^ III You never looked for kavod. Your favorite saying was 2-and-3-year-olds. They, as condition to donate, call: "You take the credit, I’ll take the cash!" well as her husband Avraham You told me a few weeks before you left this world, (Sara Alstock/Tepfer’s brother), Mrs. Shreibman 718-837-1484. I have had a rich and rewarding life. I don’t regret a moment." will miss her surely. And every moment I had in your presence “irQ n“i3T ’H’ Transformed each moment of my life. Thank you, Ima. U C H I M HOW DID WE Tovi Gross taught in Prospect concern as alumna liaison is to help Interviewer: You mean some of Mir ha I (Simons) Seuman '84 Park for 5 years. Currently she make shidduchim for all our girls. us who “help,” dig? w lives with her family in Silver When a fixim friend let me experi­ our eight-year-old twin boys, an pieces and looking at them under Springs. As an aside to home­ Tovi: What I do is talk to people - Tovi: Most of us are not cruel, but ence homeschooling in her house, older ten-year-old boy, and our one of the two high-quality micro­ being nice means not saying, “I making, she is very involved on the phone, at a simcha, in the I was impressed. Then I read a daughter, 13, who spends her scopes we have. They’ll listen to car. Everyone knows someone or have nobody for you.” Being nice with a creative puppet show book called Homeschooling for mornings in Bais Yaakov for books on tape, read, build things, has an idea of someone. I keep a means if you say, “I’ll get back to Excellence, by David and Micki limudei kodesh. Our older son and play chess. My husband walks program that has kiruv as its book with all the details I find out. you,” don’t take 12 days to get back, even if you are busy. Colfax. It’s a fast read and tells learns at a regular, Agudah-type home each day for lunch, and agenda. I wanted to make con­ I take it seriously. If I had the time their story. Three of their four boys yeshiva all day and has night everyone enjoys a relaxed hot tact with Tovi Gross because I I could be doing this all day. The - two of whom were adopted - lunch with lots of conversation. heard that besides everything opportunities are endless. Interviewer: But, Tovi, what if seder. you really don’t have anyone for else, she dabbles in shidduchim. went to Harvard after home them? schooling. They explain that all of Our day begins with davening, My husband loves biographies, so For us in Prospect Park this is Interviewer: How effective are the organizations that work for our us enjoy learning when it’s “mean­ either at my older son’s yeshiva he reads children’s versions of always the #1 agenda. We are Then give her a lead, or tell singles? Tovi: ingful.” If you remove television them aloud. He enjoys taking the determined to marry off all of her that you will call someone else minyan or at home. The children and videos and engage your chil­ have a journal entry with a creative kids with him into the real world our alumnae n”n, so we try to - and follow through right away. Tovi: If the organization makes a dren, they will learn. This philoso­ writing assignment. They suggest and watching the delight of other pursue all leads at our disposal. Get people dates even if they are shidduch, then it’s effective. In not perfect; give them options. phy is called “unschooling.” some of the journal entries like adults who offer to share what they general, we can’t control who will Most of all, even when you are “Which one of the Avos would you know. There is the banker who Interviewer: Tovi, what should marry whom and when, but what overwhelmed or people get on I imagined that unschooling would like to meet today and why?” We explains compound interest with we be doing more of? Our main we can and must do is be nice. your nerves, you have to be nice. be a good way to guarantee that a have reading time using two differ­ real money, the chef in London child would stagger into adulthood ent series suggested by reading who invited the kids to experiment a semi-literate, blithering idiot. teacher friends and a standard in his kitchen, the art gallery But the unschoolers I met at the math curriculum. The boys have a owner who shared a spontaneous MRS. FISHER: ATTENTION MARRIED ALUMNAE You know how I show Hashem that I Orlando conference (yes, there are tutor for limudei kodesh and learn tour, information, and a small can­ am grateful for two wonderful son-ln- Sometimes just making a call and saying, “I was thinking about actual conferences about this) with their father. But that formal vas with our group. The questions Ideas laws? I do my best to make By: Mrs. Z. Press your son/daughter, I might know someone,” is enough to brighten were smart and very nice. And learning is really to make us feel in the real world make learning shidduchim for others. the day significantly for someone in the parsha of shidduchim. many unschoolers are now adults, like learning is going on. The real exciting. How does shatnez testing * I asked my son how he decided to get engaged as I seemingly quite successful. There magic, when their eyes light up, take place? We enjoy finding out thought there were “issues.” His answer was simple are also “classical” homeschoolers happens in the quiet times about things that none of us fully and direct. “Mom,” he said, “she likes me and she is WANTED: and school-at-home families who throughout the day. understands and all of us enjoy Eligible Men able to show it, so I want to marry her.” purchase curricula and follow learning together. We also use scripted lessons. Many of the frum One morning a college professor tutors for the subjects we can’t or WE ARE COMMITTED TO WORKING FOR * An eligible man came to speak to me about a shid­ families, including ours, do the friend came by with his power saw don’t want to teach, but most OUR SINGLE ALUMNAE. WE WILL duch. During the course of conversation, I asked him “eclectic” thing. We buy curricula, and showed the boys how to cut learning is generated by the kids. MAKE THE NECESSARY CONNECTONS. do some lessons daily, and have geometric shapes. They discussed Why does the milk say if he had ever gone out with anyone he liked. He had. FORWARD NAMES OF MEN WHO : “So what happened?” I probed. The shadchanto\6 him other experiences that generate energy and atoms. We might have “Pasteurized?” Who was Louis ARE EHRLICH AND OF HIGH CALIBER TO: learning and discussion. We found a visit like that, or the boys can Pasteur? This leads to a trip to the that the girl wasn’t interested. “So,” I argued, “why that, more than an educational spend the rest of the morning prac­ grocery store to take pictures of didn’t you call her yourself and say ‘I just can’t stop Mrs. Shreibman • 718-837-1484 choice, homeschooling is very ticing their instruments for the the things that are pasteurized. thinking about you’.” Now, some girls may not like this 7914 21st Avenue much a lifestyle. Not a boring, pro­ music lesson, or working in the approach, but on the other hand - you never know. fessorial, teach-them-all-day kind garden planting herbs, taking Boys being boys, they would often of thing, but a fulfilling way to see rather jump on each other than the world. Today we homeschool write anything, and I have to admit

(turn over page) those times can be difficult. But each day because the Dutch do. We lifestyle have kids in the top shiur they learn from our attitudes, and hung our clothing out because at Ner Yisroel. The studies done that’s a good incentive to be even upscale Dutch families don’t over the last twenty years show patient. For the boys especially, we have clothes dryers like in homeschoolers do well academi­ remember that they need to jump America. Then we went to the cally and socially. I don’t consider and run and swim. Some part of Marriott. our time is spent on chesed. We homeschoolers to be people who visit the nursing homes, and the The kids socialize on all levels. yank their kids out of school I was involved in kiruv while in high school, but once why Chazal teach us, "Gadol hametzuveh v’oseh I graduated, somehow my schedule became so busy kids learn it’s “not all about them.” Good friends have permission to because the principal didn’t do mimi sh’eino metzuveh v’oseh." that my outreach activities fell by the wayside. let me know if the kids are getting what those parents wanted and Our hallway features a massive In our digressions, Sheila and I have discussed mat­ weird, but I’m told they’re “nor­ now they keep their kid home Rav Moshe, zt"l, writes that the same way we are obli­ ters of hashkafa and deep philosophical issues such timeline so we can see how history mal, leibedike boys,” albeit partic­ watching videos. I think there are gated to give ma’aser of our money to tzedaka, so as a person’s role in this world, and what middos played out in different parts of the ularly polite and empathic, as stud­ other words to describe that situa­ too we have an obligation to dedicate a tenth of our HaKadosh Baruch Hu is trying to imbue within us world. History is exciting when it’s personal learning time to teaching others. With that in ies report regarding most home- tion - something with “neglect” in through the practice of certain mitzvos. I have learned in context and meaningful. mind, I decided to contact Ruchie Friedman, the learned to take my cues from Sheila and only move schoolers. The grandparents approve, it maybe. director of the Aish HaTorah mentoring program in (Do you know the stories of who forward when I see that she is emotionally and intel­ amazingly, and that’s usually a Brooklyn. A few weeks after our first conversation, lectually ready to do so. It’s a delicate balance, I have fought against the U.S. in the War good gauge of things. The kids People think we have no life or pri­ she found a shidduch for me: Sheila,* a woman in her discovered; on one hand, I wish I could share every­ of 1812? We didn’t. None of our have friends from Pirchei, camp, thirties who lives in my neighborhood with her hus­ thing that I possibly can about Torah and mitzvos all vate time, but I find that many friends or family did. Most peo­ and organized sports teams. They band and one-year-old son. Sheila grew up in a at once! However, I know that if I come on too strong homeschooling families have gen­ ple’s eyes glaze over when you don’t have to spend a lot of time Conservative home but was interested in learning or seem too imposing, I will not be successful. By mention it. Too bad, because it’s tler lives, and because of a greater about Shabbos and teflllah with the goal of increasing picking up on external cues, verbal and otherwise, with kids who are mean or who her fledgling commitment to an Orthodox lifestyle. very exciting. Which is exactly the focus on priorities, there is ironi­ and by progressing slowly, my gains have come to out­ have bad habits. This can be a pro weigh my losses. point.) or con depending on your per­ cally more time. My husband and I It has been over a year since Sheila and I first met. spective. have a date night each week and go Fortunately, I kept a journal throughout the process Sometimes, it can be like a walk on a tightrope to We read aloud at least an hour a out. We also go away for the night so that I could chart not only our progress in Torah present Torah as unequivocal truth that must be fol­ learning, but the lessons that I have learned as well. day, and that has been the best part It s fun, but a lot of work. Contrary once or twice each month and have lowed at all times, while conveying the beauty of the of this whole experience. The tri­ "re’ach” and “ta’ain" of Torah with an air of relaxation to American theory, the two are not family and/or a housekeeper stay First and foremost, I have learned that kiruv requires and calm. umphant shouts from the kids mutually exclusive. Homeschoolers in the house. We know as a couple patience. I have come to appreciate the words of when the hero succeeds or their find they have to enjoy being that we need to have quiet time to Shlomo HaMelech, "V’davar b’ito ma tov." When I In addition, Baruch Hashem, I have gotten a small genuine sadness when we finished hung up the phone with Ruchie over one year ago, my around their kids a lot and like plan and talk. You bum out other­ taste of the personal rewards of kiruv endeavors. For Tuck Everlasting or Farmer Boy is them as people. As a result, I don’t mind filled with so many ideas about all of the possi­ one, having to ask many she’elos and read up on wise, even if you don’t home- ble topics we could cover. Overwhelmed, I called my incredible to watch. Reading aloud know too many bratty home- many topics to answer the “why’s and from where’s”? school. Learning and spending Rav, Rabbi Aaron Levine, who explained that I should has afforded me the opportunity to learn more and in the middle of our day provides schooled kids. In her new book quantity time together seems to first teach what Sheila wants to learrn; if Shabbos is enrich my understanding of Torah and mitzvos. an unhurried tempo to the after­ What the Rest of Us Can Learn what "leeba chafetz bah," then Shabbos is what have made us “click” more as a noon. We read aloud with our From Homeschooling by Linda should take precedence, he explained. Second, the joy of teaching Torah and seeing the family. Whether or not the kids go teenagers too and it enriches us, Dobson, she points out ways to set other person’s face light up with "simcha shel d’var to school in the future, this invest­ I must admit that as I am writing this article, we still brings us closer to each other, and up your house for learning. There mitzva" is beyond description. The feeling is compa­ have not covered even half of the thirty-nine mela- rable to reuniting someone with a beloved long lost gives us perspective. should be organized paints and ment of time in each other feels chos. We began learning about Shabbos for a few ses­ relative. Being born Jewish without living a life of right. And we always know the games, tons of books. I personally sions and then our conversations veered off to cover Torah is like owning a treasure chest of riches without To learn in context, we travel a lot. don’t go for the Gameboys, cubes or date and time for the PTA night. topics in tznius and seasonal issues such as the owning the key. When my husband has business whatever. yomim tovim and inyanei d’yoma. Had I forced or somewhere, we learn about that pressured Sheila into completing our Shabbos cur­ I am grateful to HaKadosh Baruch Hu that I have the riculum, our ties would have been severed months ago. place before we go there. This year The Baltimore homeschoolers we Need Hebrew tutoring? opportunity to help another Jew on that quest to we toured the Netherlands, meet­ Call: Mrs. Shreibman unlocking the treasure. know who have chosen this It’s a psychological truism that people like to feel ing people and seeing a different 718-837-1484 empowered in their own learning process and will If you are interested in becoming involved in the culture. We went to the market not be influenced or taught if they feel that Aish Hatorah Mentoring Program, please con­ they are being compelled or forced. That is tact Devorah Schreck at 917-693-2060. Everest by Ruth Lewis, Jerusalem 'S'- it' A Meeting with an isha Chashuva Some think it’s great by Rochi Reichman To climb Mt. Everest, To navigate the Amazon I think it’s great Mrs. Reichman is a beloved English teacher in To dress a three-year-old Of course, we arrived in Bnei Brak make one trip - to Bnei Brak to When you have your new information, Prospect Park. She is also an amazing role and discovered a note taped to the Rebbetzin Kanievsky, to thank her “I want the white blouse!” piease fill this out and send back to us. model to all the students. Mrs. Reichman will Rebetzin's door apologizing to the for the bracha and to share our “But that’s for Shabbos!” often develop in her students a discerning eye “Then the pink blouse public that due to a famiiy simcha H310 mw3. mon mon demanded and a sensitivity for the unique beauty of our she would not be receiving visi­ no less. This time I waited for And also the stripey one.” Torah and mesora Mrs. Reichman guides her “But you can’t wear two...” First Name tors. Temy and I walked slowly hours patiently. I was rewarded by students to an awareness of even the subtle, across the street watching people her shining face once more, and “So I’ll wear my velvet dress.” seemingly non-apparent differences between arrive, go up the stairs, and by her appreciation that I came “But that’s for Shabbos.” Husband Name Yisroel and the amim. descend once again in disappoint­ with good news, not the rnny and I think it’s a challenge, a fear ment. nwpa to which she is unfortunate­ Last Name I want to share a recent experi­ To buckle a child’s shoe ly accustomed. She joyously For the nineteenth time; ence. Last midwinter vacation I I told Temy we had nothing to lose. "vintched" me once again that I Maiden Name To serve a meal traveied to Eretz Yisrael to visit my Maybe we'd catch a glimpse of her will be back next year with more newly married daughter and observe For five children under seven. if she had not already left for the mmo rnmtc?3. Address the dynamics of her marriage. chasuna. I am confident I will return to thank Despite the brevity of the visit (or Sure enough, within 10 minutes her once more, hopefully celebrat­ maybe because of it), and despite she exited. We dared not ing the naiD nn©3, of the nV’Xj for the fact that we wanted to spend approach her to invade her priva­ "gantz Klal Yisrael." every possible moment together - cy, but, wonder of wonders, she no wasting time and no distrac­ crossed the street, took each of I told the Rebbetzin how we had all tions, my husband advised me to our faces in her hands individuaiiy, davened tehillim for the Rav's visit an adam chashuv in Bnei and kissed us and bentched us recovery from his recent stroke, Brak, Rav Chaim Kanievsky. I with "ip;)" - gezunt, parnassa, and and she enthusiastically and sin­ agreed and was duly informed that nachas. Her giowing face and cerely thanked me and repeated he no ionger receives women. My moist eyes touched us deeply and how he had made an almost per­ husband said, "Just go and watch we left crying in amazement. How fect miraculous recovery due to all him learn on the porch. Then send did she know? of the tefillos of Bnei Yisraei. up a list of names for a bracha." Again I was told he is no longer I truly felt chizuk all year from being available on the porch. Finally my in the presence of this nmttJn ivdh. husband said, "So visit Rebbetzin WANTED )UR PROSPECT PARK ALUMNAE WERE Kanievsky. Can it hurt to see an This past midwinter, I flew again to REMELY INSPIRED BY MRS. LEAH KOHN’S mwn nm up close?" my daughter's simcha to attend ANY ALUMNAE WHO LLENT LECTURE ON THE “THREE WEEKS.” the bris of her son and pamper the xjopcciaiiy wucii uoiic ARE FAMILIAR WITH Uncomplainingly. Lovingly. And so we did. Each night we young family. I did not tour or trav­ GRAPHICS & LAYOUT For more information on other were told by phone that she was el since my oniy purpose was to Let others conquer Everest. scheduled events call: unavailable for various reasons. be an akeres habayis, cook fresh Let me conquer me. Finally on Thursday evening, my vegetable soup, and cover the to work on our Let me climb and climb The Jewish Renaissance Center last available night in Eretz Yisrael night shift with the newborn so the newsletter. And Neverest. 1-845-434-8013 (I was scheduled to fly out on young couple could sleep. ' was Motzei Shabbos), I told my daugh­ adamant, though, that I would Presence is more of a catalyst ter Temy, let's go anyway. Maybe Please call us. we will have mazal. to change than analysis. Everest by Ruth Lewis, Jerusalem A Meeting with an isha Chashuva Some think it’s great by Rochi Reichman To climb Mt. Everest, To navigate the Amazon I think it’s great Mrs. Reichtnan is a beloved English teacher in Of course, we arrived in Bnei Brak make one trip - to Bnei Brak to To dress a three-year-old Prospect Park. She is also an amazing role and discovered a note taped to the Rebbetzin Kanievsky, to thank her “I want the white blouse!” model to all the students. Mrs. Reichtnan will Rebetzin's door apologizing to the for the bracha and to share our “But that’s for Shabbos!” often develop in her students a discerning eye “Then the pink blouse public that due to a family simcha naio n~n5£J3. mon rn^n demanded and a sensitivity for the unique beauty of our she would not be receiving visi­ no less. This time I waited for And also the stripey one.” Torah and mesora. Mrs. Reichtnan guides her tors. Temy and I walked slowly hours patiently. I was rewarded by “But you can’t wear two...” students to an awareness of even the subtle, across the street watching people her shining face once more, and “So I’ll wear my velvet dress.” seemingly non-apparent differences between arrive, go up the stairs, and by her appreciation that I came “But that’s for Shabbos.” Yisroel and the amim. descend once again in disappoint­ with good news, not the riny and I think it’s a challenge, a fear ment. mt£?pD to which she is unfortunate­ To buckle a child’s shoe I want to share a recent experi­ ly accustomed. She joyously For the nineteenth time; ence. Last midwinter vacation I I told Temy we had nothing to lose. "vintched" me once again that I To serve a meal traveled to Eretz Yisrael to visit my Maybe we'd catch a glimpse of her will be back next year with more newly married daughter and observe if she had not alread; For five children under seven. the dynamics of her marriage. chasuna. No two of whom will eat the same thing. i"HT"iii....riiT"Tin"n"ir"ii' And one of whom, aged three, Despite the brevity of the visit (or Sure enough, within Will eat only Bisli. maybe because of it), and despite she exited. We the fact that we wanted to spend approach her to invac Or to wash the same dishes, every possible moment together - cy, but, wonder of w Pick up the same clothes, Again and again. no wasting time and no distrac­ crossed the street, tc L\GZ-SZZ\\ y Or give a drink to a four-year-old, tions, my husband advised me to our faces in her hands “Not the green cup, the blue cup! visit an adam chashuv in Bnei and kissed us and Not THAT blue cup. Brak, Rav Chaim Kanievsky. I with "ipj" - gezunt, pc VAIHS3A >1 The one with the clown!” agreed and was duly informed that nachas. Her glowin he no longer receives women. My moist eyes touched ui Or to put a five-year-old to bed husband said, "Just go and watch we left crying in amazi “Not the big pillow, the little pillow.” him learn on the porch. Then send did she know? up a list of names for a bracha." “Not the blue blanket-the green one.” “I’m thirsty! Not the green cup, Again I was told he is no longer I truly felt chizuk all ye The blue one. Not THAT blue cup...” available on the porch. Finally my in the presence of this ■"Or anything requiring exertion. husband said, "So visit Rebbetzin OUR PROSPECT PARK ALUMNAE WERE 4-'- m Constant repetition, patience Kanievsky. Can it hurt to see an This past midwinter, I EXTREMELY INSPIRED BY MRS. LEAH KOHN’S Which goes unnoticed, unapplauded, naiDn up close?" my daughter's simcHi, Especially when done joyfully. EXCELLENT LECTURE ON THE “THREE WEEKS.” the bris of her son and pamper the ARE FAMILIAR WITH Uncomplainingly. Lovingly. And so we did. Each night we young family. I did not tour or trav­ For more information on other were told by phone that she was el since my only purpose was to GRAPHICS & LAYOUT Let others conquer Everest. scheduled events call: unavailable for various reasons. be an akeres habayis, cook fresh Let me conquer me. Finally on Thursday evening, my vegetable soup, and cover the to work on our Let me climb and climb The Jewish Renaissance Center last available night in Eretz Yisrael night shift with the newborn so the newsletter. And Neverest. 1-845-434-8013 (I was scheduled to fly out on young couple could sleep. ' was Motzei Shabbos), I told my daugh­ adamant, though, that I would Presence is more of a catalyst ter Temy, let's go anyway. Maybe Please call us. to change than analysis. we will have mazal. Dear Mrs. Guttenplan, There are two particular thoughts that “But where is the soul?” We Mrs. Davis is our brilliant 10th grade English teacher. She is so articulate that a reader can feel the passion. have helped me believe. When I look explained that it is all over, but the I had the pleasure of meeting your at the intellectual history of humani­ scientists who made the picture can’t The music shifted at a friend's beat, left - as "Od Nashuva" invited So it is with those beloved pesukim beautiful granddaughter, Jacqueline. ty, I can’t help but notice that no sys­ see it. The discussion made me think recent chasuna. It lost its brassy, us to chant a "nigun atik." Then our of Yirmiyahu I had committed to We had lots of interesting discus­ tem of thought has civilized man and about the following question: If a per­ boisterous tone and memory in my high- sions, and somehow, she told us brought man to truly great heights. son has a heart transplant or a brain assumed an old-new school years, reverber­ about a comment you had made. I am True humility, compassion for one transplant and continues to live, who familiar sound The ating with the weekly writing this letter because I is he? Is he himself or a new dynamic glory of haftoras: "Makel shoked was so sympathetic to what (the donor) man? I am con­ "Kadsheehee" eased ani ro'eh u'panau p'nei you had said - I empathize so I vinced that he stays himself It is into the far-less-com­ tza'fonah." And so it is strongly with your dilemma "T fascinating that one’s soul - mon classics: with the doleful narra­ that I must express my feel­ Mrs. Ziemba (a former teacher one’s being - is so real to him, "Ush'avtem Mayim PASSION, tive of the aseres ings. She told me that you in Prospect Park Yeshiva) had and yet can never be seen. B'sason' and "Shiboles ha'rugei malchus, the said that you’d love to believe When I see a stranger walk a Jewish girl from Russia as a Ba'sadeh." I grabbed image of R' Yochanan's in G-d but you just can’t - you down the street, I automatically the arm of an "old' friend ANYONE beauty indelibly stamped just don’t see it. guest for a Shabbos. The girl know that he is not merely the I had danced those very on my mind. mentioned to Mrs. Ziemba that sum total of his parts, i.e. his same choreographies The nature of this world that head, face, trunk, feet, and her grandmother, who lived in with a long, long time My dear girls, lessons we live in is such that it hides hands that I can see. I know that ago on my high school taught cogently and G-d’s presence. In Hebrew the Florida, was curious about but he has hopes and fears, he has stage of Esther dynamically dance on happy and sad memories, and word for world is olam, which uncommitted to Yiddishkeit Schoenfeld on the Lower East Side. arms converged as we huddled in our psyches. So do the pulsating comes from the Hebrew word ' there are things he loves and Our eyes were the first to dance as together for the arch-classic, Mrs. Ziemba wrote the follow­ dance steps of the "Mizalu." They things he despises. I know it rusty memories of "right, left, back, 'Ush'avtem Mayim," shrinking our ne’elam, which means “hid­ evoke passion because a passion ing letter to the grandmother in only by projecting what I know step" started revving into motion. circle and our differences. Our pri­ den.” Faith is never absolutely , born of a lesson well taught is a about myself I know it with Along with us, a spontaneous com­ mordial selves were awakened. reached. It is a struggle that an attempt to increase the lat­ passion that abides. absolute certainty although I munity of old-timers touched hands even our very greatest people ■¥/ ter ’s love for Judaism: definitely don’t see it. The and souls, forming an exclusive cir­ And then it was over. But, my dear had to deal with. Belief in G-d I'm sure your children will hear expression “seeing is believing” cle on the glistening dance floor. girls, the experience was not lost on becomes consistently stronger about these lessons. They may not is not really true. There are We flew into those time-honored me. It yielded an insight I'll share as one’s behavior changes, as be heirs to the identical passions, one interacts with G-d as many optical illusions in life steps that tapped well-buried mem­ with you. where one sees what is, in fact, Wv but they might learn the new though He is there. It is okay to com­ another, and the sense of control over ories and coaxed them into action. not real. This idea applied to the equation: municate with G-d before one one’s natural impulses are just never Passion is born in youth, in adoles­ seen by the heroes of any culture world makes it easier to believe that I danced with passion. cence. The seed is sown when we believes. Doing actions which are A Lesson Well Learned = A Passion (atheist, pagan, enlightened, etc.) as just as I have a soul and my fellow based on the assumption that G-d are mentally and emotionally charged they are by our Jewish greats. So “the man has a soul, the universe with all We danced with passion because exists is a way to attain a real feeling - by an edifying lesson on egla arufah, '■M May we dance together at simchas! proof is in the pudding”; the fact is of its splendor has its soul, and that is we were retracing what had been for G-d. The actions eventually a deep understanding of maskil I'Dovid that our Torah works to make man one way of understanding G-d. taught to us in our youth, in our ado­ shape one’s state of mind. I was in Tehillim, a parsha pres­ transcend himself and become some­ lescence. We had mastered those thinking that for you it might be easy entation, a (I'havdil) cre­ what divine. It is almost three months since I met steps with the physical and mental to begin a tiny relationship by doing ative table setting for a Jacqueline and I can’t believe that it agility of our lean years. The stage ALUMNAE IN NEED one mitzvah such as lighting candles home economics class, A second thought originated from a took so long to find the time to write we danced on had been sparse, every Friday before sundown. You a novel well analyzed discussion with my three very young this letter. I only want to tell you that meager, but our enthusiasm then PLEASE HELP US HELP THEM may find your tiny speck of faith, and and digested, a Raninu boys. We showed them a detailed pic­ if you want to believe, pursue it. The was boundless. Grace, harmony, it may allow itself to be built upon. production. What we ture of what the insides of a human reward is in the struggle itself I hope and discipline had captivated us. Send your contribution to; Everyone has some faith in them, and richly learn amid experi­ being look like, with every organ you have many long healthy years to Alumnae Fund everyone has some lack in absolute ence, we generally grow clearly labeled. One of them asked. discover G-d and to have lots and lots Now, palm upon palm, we imitated 1601 Avenue R faith. The task is just to keep getting to love and to own. of Yiddishe nachas from your chil­ the shibboleths, sheaves of grass Brooklyn, NY 11229 closer and closer, stronger and dren and grandchildren. bowing in the wind. Manicured fin­ stronger in one’s feeling for G-d. gers snapped in unison - right. iBubin)-Killer *81 By: Esther (Mandel) Deutsch ‘97 My high school memories include Rebbetzin and Rebbetzin Hoberman has provided guidance and Hoberman, and I’m sure that yours do too. (We called direction about it to infinite hosts of Klal Yisrael. She her Mrs. H. back then.) She ruled the hallways with ought to print a business card: “Consultant My mother said, “It’ll all work out.” “And how old is your daughter?” and a summer would transform my an iron fist, and if you were late to class or missing a Extraordinaire.” Rebbetzin Hoberman was a happen­ she inquired blue-eyed, curly-haired toddler into button, she was likely to notice from her perch at the ing place. My father said, “Where are you a bona-fide kindergartener with a end of the hall. 1 learned a vast amount in her sending her again? Seminary? Or “She’ll be three on Chanukah.” heavy backpack, lunchbox, and Chumash and Avos classes, and when we were sen­ Nothing permeates Rebbetzin Hoberman’s home kindergarten?” shiny first-day shoes, but I couldn’t iors, we couldn’t wait for juicy Family Living, which just more than the reverence she has for her husband and “Oh, that’s the perfect age!” she Rebbetzin. her husband’s Torah. Ahavas Torah and emunas cha- see it. hinted to another side of the But I never My husband said, “We’re in this said, her voice softening temporari­ really knew her back then. chomim are the nucleus of her home, from which all together. Relax.” ly. I wasn’t charmed. “The perfect else radiates outwards in concentric circles. Spend Well, the application came. I filled it age for what?” I wondered. As adults, many of us got to know her better, because one moment in Rebbetzin Hoberman’s home and you “Fattening and eating?” out. (“Are you a registered voter?” Relax! I couldn’t relax. I couldn’t she opened her heart to us with countless hours of will live it and breathe it. The true values of the Um, is that a trick question?) Then sleep or eat either. Well, that isn’t guidance as she shared her life’s experience. I actu­ “yeshiveshe veif and a “daas Torah" are the banners, really true. I can always sleep (just This reaction to a perfectly innocent I marched to the mailbox and ally had the privilege and the pleasure of living in her which fly proudly in her home question points to a deep-seated give me my bed) and 1 can always popped it in. That was Friday. On home and becoming “part of her family.” I would like to problem of mine, I admit. Besides eat. But if I couldn’t eat or sleep, I’d Motzei Shabbos, my husband foimd offer you a tiny glimpse of this Rebbetzin Hoberman, the anxiety of actually choosing the Nothing is too great a sacrifice for Rebbetzin be extremely thin by now, with pur­ the envelope on the other side of our whom I have come to know and love. right atmosphere for my child to Hoberman - she has devoted her entire life to sup­ ple circles under my eyes. street, practically around the comer, flourish in, 1 was possessed by a porting, upholding, and aiding in the spreading of Memories of those years are filled with vignettes of much stronger, simpler terror - the wet and muddy. “It’s a sign!” I said Rabbi Hoberman’s Torah. The simchas chaim that The problem was, my darling fear of parting from my precious to him, but he just laughed and rede­ mesiras nefesh, kovod haTorah, giving to the klal and results is deep, and something to be envied. daughter was turning three. And in baby from nine in the morning until posited into the mailbox. the tzibur-aW this in a warm, glowing home filled with our highly structured, highly com­ three in the afternoon, every day, laughter and humor. Enter Rebbetzin H’s home and Many a time, in the wee hours of the morn, I wit­ petitive society, that meant it was not even counting traveling time. A few weeks and an interview later, you entered a happening hub, pulsing with action and nessed first hand Rabbi Hoberman’s study alight, the time to start applying to various ele­ fun. Mealtimes meant lively (often heated) discus­ we had an acceptance letter. Now I sounds of his learning emanating from within. How mentary schools. Actually, it was sions about current issues in Chinuch, or the frum I just didn’t know. Maybe a few could relax - at least until fortunate I feel to have experienced personally this past time. If I had been really world at large, with humorous tales from a history rich more winter months plus a spring September. lofty existence. As high school girls, we did not realize organized, I would have put her with experiences with gedolim. Nothing was greater what we had in our midst. This is the stuff of legends. name on all the lists the minute the fun than taking the opposite side of the Rebbetzin in doctor told me 1 had a beautiful a given debate (you’d better duck from the Another alumna who once lived in the same building baby girl. onslaught!). Of course, every argument was settled as the Hoberman family told me, “In the Hoberman SPECIAL THANKS by Rabbi Hoberman’s word. He gave the final verdict house they are always laughing; the simcha is palpa­ A few phone calls assured me that - but getting there was so much fun! as long as 1 got my act together and ble.” nn'D\u 2b started the process soon, 1 would not The phone never stopped ringing. Parents calling have to home-school my child. I Rebbetzin H for parental guidance - “How shall we How many women today can say they have spent for so graciously assisting with editing. took a deep breath, picked up the deal with our moody daughter?” “Which seminary decades and decades in chinuch? How many human Without her expertise and sensitivities phone, and informed a scary-sound­ shall we choose?” “What type of Shidduch?" Oh, the beings can say they literally devote their lives to giv­ ing lady on the other end of the line we wouldn’t go to print. Shidduchim that passed through that kitchen! Boys’ ing with seiche\7 that I needed an application for parents, girls’ parents, shadchanim all called for kindergarten. some sage advice. Then the mosdos - semi­ Call her Mrs. H. or Rebbetzin Hoberman - we naries consulting about future talmidos, high are grateful for the inspiration and are unani­ schools about curriculum - you name it mous in our awe. My skirt is a symbol, an remorse for serving lobster), one lives on a street where almost Many of our Prospect Park grad­ can encourage the girls early on in one concentration that can have a identifier, a comforting sign to of my computer professors let me everyone is religious). She said uates opt for seminary in Eretz high school to save babysitting deep and long-lasting effect. those who recognize it in the midst in on what jobs in my field would she’s thinking of moving away Yisrael. The consideration is money or the like towards the cost of of a jungle of low-rise, from the community. Of one that is subject to diverse seminary. ON THE ONE HAND: high-rise, boot cuts, knee course, I was mindful opinions and heated discus­ cuts, and bell bottoms. My throughout the conversation sions. Here are some of the ON THE ONE HAND: *Continued learning in an in-town skirt is a magnet, a draw­ to make a proper Kiddush "flashpoints" that are debatable seminary within a day-to-day family string, a welcoming pulley “I Hashem, so that she would and open for discussion as we *Rav Avigdor Miller was against life develops a balance for long-term to those who acknowledge see that not everyone who guide our seniors. allowing children to sleep over at values to become entrenched its significance. My skirt is wears a skirt is like that. other families' houses, as is com­ rather than the quick, intense, and a pathway, a guide, an lewish J ON THE ONE HAND: mon in America. A year without your frantic pace of development in that entrance into my mind, my I am out. I have graduated. family is a lot more of an unknown. year. The gap for the girl, in coming ways, my community. At a still relatively young age, you back is challenging. The returnee “You’re Jewish,” they say, I no longer have to wear the estimated are sending teenage girls away with no need to ask. And I nod, uniform. But in a sense, I am tries to mesh Too $18,000- a what she before shifting my eyes Noni Dayan in a uniform every day. So is sum consid­ downward to look for their everyone who wears a skirt. learned into ered steep by symbol, their identifier, Because a skirt is a symbol, "real life" and most standards: ON T their comforting sign in return. I be good for a Shabbos observer an identifier, and it must always be often this almost never find it. But they (even though she herself was not a comforting sign to those who makes the Even if one always find mine; they always find observant), and last year when I recognize its significance; it must most zealous has or can get the amount together, little supervision. Although the me. In my years since graduation, told my marketing professor that always be accompanied by a girl give up and slip back complete­ is it a necessity and therefore some­ schools have ehrliche administra­ I have found myself in a world I’d be skipping two classes in a Kiddush Hashem. Because they ly to the before - seminary experi­ thing to encourage straight across tions and "good" girls from all walks where there are so few skirts, yet row because of Succos, he was see it, they recognize it, they iden­ ence. In the end this gains her little the board? of life, the arrangement can still be there are many seemingly lost if anything from the intense year's eager to help me make up the tify with it — with the person in it. delicate if not precarious. If your Jews who are looking, and when missing work. His reason? “I’m experience. That which was easily And for now, that’s enough. But Since when did girls go away from post-high school daughter is not yet they find me, they smile and say, Jewish too.” and quickly inspired can be quickly perhaps one day something might home to "learn?" very stable, mature, or committed to “I’m Jewish too.” spark, and they will remember that her studies, the kedusha of Eretz and easily lost when she is reinstated. “I’m Jewish too.” It has one symbol, that magnet, that path­ ON THE OTHER: Yisrael is apt to bring the possibili­ “I’m Jewish too.” I have meaning, but many different inter­ way. .. and follow it. ty of zeh I'umas zeh. This is a real ON THE OTHER: heard that line so many times now. pretations, as does my skirt, the *lt is a hefty expense to send a high- danger and gamble. That identifying line that is shouted symbol of my religiousness. To *Exposure to Eretz Yisrael and its from the mouths of all Jews, even school girl to a seminary overseas. most, it is a connection to shared Do you have fond ON THE OTHER: people is an investment to strive for those seemingly far-gone. I have It is also a conscious choice to roots. But to a few, the implications memories of your and something to cherish as a privi­ heard it from a Greek girl with long experience quality learning with a of my skirt confuses them. I was lege. The experience in Eretz dread-locked hair who walked days at Prospect quality chevra in Eretz Yisrael. It *The isolated year of learning with­ recently on a train en route to Yisrael develops a connection to around in three-inch platforms and Park? Is there a should not be viewed as a short­ out distraction from home, from sec­ Manhattan, when a woman asked the Holy Land and a paradigm of a sported a pierced eyebrow, before teacher that term investment. Consider it a ular schooling, and from dating me for directions. After giving her she went on about her Pesach valuable choice for the long-term allows for a focus and integration life style that, though you may not the information she needed, she stands out in your cleaning. I have heard it from a girl gain over an extravagant wedding that is often diluted elsewhere— embrace it fully, will definitely give looked down at my long skirt and mind? What was who was concerned that the small hall or such. To avoid the spoiled lit­ even when there is a superior pro­ your daughter a deeper perspective the nicest thing a tattoo on her back would one day remarked, her nose stuck up in the tle rich girl syndrome, perhaps we gram "in town." A year away allows of a Torah life. air, “You’re observant, aren’t you?” teacher ever said prevent her from being buried in a we aJ/l/um/c a/l/cej 'm> cme t/wnAA've^ 'macA, - Walt0r Lippman Jewish cemetery (a myth that I I nodded. “Yes. Yes, I am.” She to you? cleared up for her). I have even then went on about how she Monday Night Shiurim / MRS. SHLOMTZIE WEISS / Reflections on Yiddishkeit -i heard it from my professors. My resents the religious population Please e-mail us and 8:45 pm in the shul at 1601 Avenue R because of how they treat her art history professor spoke of let us know for an October 27th • November 3rd • November 10th • November 17th * cooking gefilte fish, my biology because she’s Conservative (she For more information call: 718-837-1484 / www.bloppy.org , I upcoming newsletter. professor spoke of her son’s bar mitzvah (where she expressed