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1993 Amicus Curiae (Vol. 3, Issue 12)

Repository Citation "Amicus Curiae (Vol. 3, Issue 12)" (1993). Student Newspaper (Amicus, Advocate...). 324. https://scholarship.law.wm.edu/newspapers/324

Copyright c 1993 by the authors. This article is brought to you by the William & Mary Law School Scholarship Repository. https://scholarship.law.wm.edu/newspapers "The King" honored, page 6

AMERICA'S FIRST LAW SCHOOL

VOLUME III, ISSUE TWELVE MONDA Y, APRIL 12,1993 TWENTY PAGES Sytnposium debates musical merits & freedom of speech By PAULA HANNAFORD legitimate protest against police brutal­ Amendment--ifwe don 't understand it-­ tively used. The Fourth Annual Student Bill of ity. Ice-T's "Cop Killer" describes the then we lose it. You keep your rights Immediately before the keynote ad­ Rights ymposium, entitled "Censor­ rage felt by a victim of police brutality when you use them . Ice-T uses his rights. " dress, the Student Bill of Rights Sympo­ ship and Music: Ro k, Rap and the First and his plans for revenge. Marsh also disputed claims that Ice-Tis sium presented a moot court argument. Amendment," included heated debate " Banning 'Cop Killer' is not a 'minor " hiding behind the First Amendment" The issue involved a challenge of a mil­ on a host of topics related to censorship narrowing' of the First Amendment," and descri bed the First Amendm ent as ' 'a lion-dollar damage award made to the including obscenity, pornography, vio­ said Marsh. "If we don't use the First sword, not a shield" that should be ac- parents of an adolescent who died play­ lence, racism and police brutality--just to ing Russian Roulette after watching a name a few. music video which contained scenes of a The symposium, held April I, fea­ game of Russian Roulette, as well as tured a keynote address delivered by graphic sexual acts. First-year students free-lance journalist Da id Marsh about Chris Fields, Ken Hickox, Mike Cox and the ontroversial rap song "Cop Killer." Gretchen Lynch presented opposing ar­ The day-long event also included a noon­ guments about whether the music video time open-microphone forum, a moot had "serious artistic value," whether the court argument and a panel discussion video contained speech intended to incite with several prominent speakers with violence and whether the Miller standard differing perspecti ves on the censorship should be adjusted to reflect the possible debate. effects on impressionable children. In his address, Marsh argued that cen­ In addition to extremely articulate sorship of' 'Cop Killer" :;annat be j usti­ and poised presentations by both sides, fied becau e ofthe remote possibility that the demOnStration also iududed some the song may incite attacks on police humorous moments. Arguing that the officers. Citing statisti cs that more civil­ video was intended to sell records, not ians are killed by police officers each Writer Dave Marsh (L) gave the keynote address at the Bill of Rights year than police officers are killed by See SILENCE, page 20 Student Symposium. Roger Mudd moderated the panel discussion. civilians, Marsh defended the song as a SBA budget increased; Moot Court, Trial Ad threatened By DOUG MILLER and Ad. The total amount budgeted review Moot Court, it should "Many people think the money Also under next year's LEEANNE MORRIS for the SBA is $25, 140, up from review all competition teams, should be used for more specific budget, the BSA will raise The SBA will be a little bit $22,000 this year. including the Forensics program student activities, but what I'm student fees to cover a larger richer next year thanks to an " People have been bringing in the Theater and Speech trying to explain to them is that percentage of its budget. This increase in the amount of student up concerns about how much the Department and the Mock United competitions are an important increase will allow it to return fees allotted to it by the Board of law school gets and particularl y Nations team in the Government part of the academic experience, more vending machine revenues Student Affairs (BSA). With Moot Court," Short explained. Department. .. . [and] student fees should go this good news, ofco urse, comes He added that he convinced the "There's going to be a bit of for funding all types of See $$$, page 20 some bad news. Board that if it was going to a fight over this," said Short. activities." The BSA has accepted a proposal to review next fall the Applicant charges M -W with discrimination funding of competition teams such as Moot Court and Trial By KEVIN KRONER cording to Dean of Admissions the University of Wisconsin. He begin to reflect the Latino popu­ Advocacy. The earmarking of M-W administrators received Faye Shealy, there are currently is also on the waiting lists at lation of the state. sums to these teams has come a letter last week accusing the three students enrolled at Cornell University and Colum­ "The Latino population in under fire. law school 0 f engaging in a "per­ Marshall-Wythe who identify bia University. Each of these central Virginia is growing ex­ According to Kyle Short (2L), sistent and deliberate policy of themselves as Latino. schools is on Us. News and ponentially," Salgado said. this year's BSA . rep and exclusion" toward Latino ap­ Salgado addressed his letter World Report's list of the best 25 Thus, the number of Latinos at president-elect of the SBA, a plicants in the admissions pro­ to Acting Dean Richard law schools in the country. M­ M-W is "very far from the pro­ BSA rep from Arts & Sciences, cess. The accusation comes from Williamson and Dean Shealy. W is not in the U s. News top 25. portion ofthe Americans, or even Mark Washko, submitted a Ralph Salgado, an individual He also sent copies of the letter Although Salgado currently Virginians, that are of Latino proposal to the Finance who applied for admission to the to the Amicus, BLSA and sev­ lives in Virginia, his admissions origin." Committee for the formation of class of I 996 but was rejected. eral national minority legal classification was out-of-state. a group to review the amount [The letter, and Dean groups, such as the Puerto Rican Nonetheless, he argues that M­ See RACISM, page 9 budgeted for Moot Court. The Williamson's response, are re­ Legal Defense and Education W's student body does not even proposal was made at the printed in full following this Fund. - Inside this issue ------Committee's meeting last story.] Salgado, a 1992 graduate of • Roger Mudd talks about • Third year superlatives Thursday. In a phone interview with the St. John's University, was de­ media ethics. Page 3. awarded. Page 13. Next year's budget, which Amicus, Salgado said that the nied admission to M-W but has has been set in stone by the basis for his conclusion was the been accepted to University of • Music reviewer takes a • Major League season current Board, gives S I 0,930 to " nearly complete lack ofLatinos Pennsylvania, Northwestern political stand. Page 15. previewed Page 18. Moot Court and $2,986 to Trial within the entire school." Ac- University, Boston College and 2 ======Monday, April 12,1993 THE AMIcus CURIAE Out'o'fOur Heads From the Editor's Desk ... M-W discriminate against Latino's? It couldn't possibly be I'm proud of this year' s The Amicus' has never been Morris. There is a certain true. After all, isn't this a "liberal" school? We have over 50 twelve issues. I believe they here to please or serve the need symmetry in seeing the paper African-American students enrolled. How, or why, on earth hold true to our motto. Some of indi viduals. We serve the M­ move from the dedication and would M-W discriminate against Latinos? readers may not have always W community as a whole. talentofit'sfotmderstosomeone While the answer to these questions appear facially obvious, liked the news in this paper, but The praise goes to all of the equally dedicated and talented. the nwnbers are hard to ignore. Three hispanic students out of I sleep well knowing that this students who contributed the Finally, I'd like to thank all almost 600 doesn't even make it into the ballpark of' 'racially paper has never let a significant time and energy that was needed. of the those who stood by me diverse." Even considering just the Lati.no population of news story go unreported. None of this could have been during the most trying period of Virginia, our enrollment suggests the ridiculous proposition that I take great pride in that fact done without you. I especially my life. The names of all those the population has remained constant at 0.5%. But as Salgado that the Amicus has never turned hope that the talented group of who offered their support are too points out, the Latino population in Virginia has grown fast over down, or even altered, a student I L writers continue to contribute nwnerous to mention here; but the past five years. M-W has fallen behind. opinion submission. We next year. thanks to Gregg, Judy and Rich The administration may not sit around a conference room guaranteed a forum to anyone Most of all, I'm honored to for defending me when I couldn't and figures out ways to exclude Hispanics, but just because no who chose to step forward. turn over this paper to Leeanne defend myself. one is explicitly saying "let's discriminate," doesn't mean discrimination does not exists. What Salgado alleges is identical Letters to the disparate impact cases fought by so many African­ To the Editor: Honor Code. Members of the I believe it does, then let's change Americans over the decades: No one says anything incriminating, I am writing today in Council have invested numerous it together and leave these but qualified, minority applicants can't seem to get in. response to the accusations hours adding "Comments" to ridiculous, high school, power Perhaps it is a problem of focus. M-W must extend 2/3 of its leveled against the Judicial correct sections of the Code squabbles behi.nd. offers to Virginia residents. Blacks are, by far, the largest Council overthe past few weeks. shown to be flawed. After --Tim Bird, 2L minority in Virginia. Thus, when it comes to achieving a Many individuals were outraged working with his committee, representatively diverse student profile, the admissions process when Kevin Kroner was brougli1t John Brownlee should be the will logically focus on Black applications. to trial even though no prima foremost authority on the To the Editor: Sadly, this seems to have developed into a process where facia case of cheating had been immense amount of time and It has come to my attention "minority" means "Black." With a focus this narrow, M-W established against him. effort required to revise a that a nwnber of people were misses the whole point to di versity. Diversity isn't about charity However, if people would take docwnent as important as the offended by the name of, and to an underpri vileged group or class. Diversity is about reflecting the time to read the HonorCode, Honor Code. While more work advertisements for, the and representing the community as a whole. they would soon discover that lies ahead, Council members "Feminazi Bash." To those With a diverse student profile M-W can help shape the legal establishment of a prima facia should take pride in the amount who were offended, I hope you profession into something that more closely mirrors the case is NOT the standard used to of reform they have accept my apologies. Certainly commullity we will serve--notjust the White or Black community. continue a case. accomplished in such a short no offense was intended. An honor charge must period of time. " Feminazi" is an proceed to trial if just one of a Further, itis ludicrous to even indisputably ugly, shocking and THE AMICUS CURIAE three member panel feels that consider that the Honor Council horrible word. For those of you " I)robable cause", one of the is " out to get" either John who have never heard it before, MARSHALL-WYllIE SCHOOL OF LAw lowest standards in American Brownlee or his committee's the word " feminazi" was "Dedicated to the complete and objective reporting of student jurisprudence, exists. Like many work. While 1 was alarmed by created and is used by some right news and opinion" people,l believe this standard is John's clandestine selection of wing conservatives to describe far too low considering the committee members, I and the women, or feminists, who Editor-in-Chief: Kevin Kroner Managing Editors: Marc Bernstein, Leeanne Morris terrible consequences other members of the Council believe in and work toward Production Editor: Debbi Holmes accompanying an honor trial. have considered his group very gender equality. It has been Assistant Editors: Paula Hannaford, Megan Kelly Yet, these feelings do not change helpful in our reform efforts. used in a very large sense to the fact that the Judicial Council John's proposals, however, have undermine the women's News Reporters: Features Reporters: was bound to proceed with been difficult to consider as the movement by instilling in people Brian Alperstein Tim Belevetz Kevin's trial because " formal presentation" of his the notion that feminists are Carla Archie Janet Breckenridge PROBABLE CAUSE DID committee's work consisted of militant, evil individuals who, if John Crouch Mark Donald Margret Hardy Alan Dud:worth EXIST. The accusation alone only a sketchy, fifteen minute we let them, will destroy the Doug Miller Rich Hricik was enough to meet such a speech John gave to the Council fabric of society. Its usage has Kirstin Mueller John Lohmann minimal standard of proof. on what his committee was been part ofan overall, and rather Sarah Newman Bill Madigan Accordingly, criticism from attempting to accomplish, but successful, campaign to attach Vanessa Peterson Phil Nugent Kevin Kroner's trial should be had not yet agreed upon. To this negative connotations to the Jeff Regner Steven Youngkin directed toward amending the day I have never seen the end concept of feminism. Andrew Smith Honor Code itself, andnottoward productofhis committee's effort, The dictionary definition of Sports Gurus: Eric Chasse, Bill Madigan the fifteen students who have even after I personally asked feminism is one that simply Photographer: Teresa Brazzel given their time and energy to John for a copy. describes social, political and Production Assistant: Brett Loney faithfully enforce our honor Critics should look in the economic equality between the Cartoonists: Bob Dickinson, Jeff Regner, Josh Sacks system. mirror before questioning the sexes. The party last week was Midwestern Correspondent: David Ziemer Accordingly, I was as motives and personal integrity meant to kick-offa new women's Renaissance Woman: Dee Cohen of members of the Honor and The Monkey as Bear interested as anyone when I group here at the law school discovered that John Brownlee Council. Because these students which embraces, and reclaims if Editorial Policy was forming a committee to are " not thinking about the you will, feminism for what it is The letters and opinion pages of the Amicus Curine are amend the Honor Code. The interests ofthe law school [, but] and what it was originally dedicated to all student opinion regardless of form or content. Honor Code can only work if it only about their futures on the intended to be. Naming the party Every student viewpoint can find a place in this publication, in serves the needs of the students; Council" , many chose to the "feminazi bash" was meant . accordance with our motto. Opinion articles are not edited for something the Code was failing sacrifice part of their Christmas not only in a hwnorous way to . content, only spell checked. to do. I take offense, however, to break to ensure that the honor call ourselves what we feel we Letters to the Editor are not intended to reflect the opinion the false accusations John and integrity of William and would have been called by some of the newspaper or its staff. All letters to the Editor should be Brownlee and others have aimed Mary Law School was not placed anyway, but also to discredit and submitted by 5p.m.on the Wednesday prior to publication. at the personal integrity of in jeopardy. For once let's rise devalue the label of" feminazi." . . We cannot print a lettetwithout confirmation of the author's members of the Council. above all the petty accusations Ina way, it was precisely the name. We may, however; withhold the name on request. Since the conel usion ofKevin and unfounded gossip so ugliness and uselessness of the Lettetsover 500 words maybe returned to the writer with a Kroner' s trial, the foremost prevalent in the naugahyde of word we were hoping to point request th'at they' be edited for the sake of space. objective ofthe Judicial Council Marshall-Wythe. If the Honor out. has been reforming the current Code needs to be changed, which --Linda Jackson (2L) 3 Monday, April 12,1993 THE AMICUS CuRIAE ======Roger Mudd delivers address on ethics in journalism By PAULA HANNAFORD followed-up with several the existence of popular press. Although a Code ofEthics consensus and uniformity," In one of the many addresses examples ofquestionable ethical government. Recounting the does exist for journalists, Mudd cautioned. given by the 1992-93 Carter dilemmas experienced by classic story of the State according to Mudd, it does not Mudd concluded by Lowance Fellow during his week members of the national press. Department official who include "a fixed moral or ethical suggesting that television has at the law school, nationally­ The public lecture was sponsored responded to areporter' s question formula." Instead, journalists radically changed the role of the known journalist Roger Mudd by both Marshall-W ythe and the about the Vietnam War with the adhere to a code of" situational pressand made ethical dilemmas attempted to explain the Bill of Rights Institute. incredulous question "whose ethics" where the answer to any more visible and pressing. ambiguous role that journalistic Mudd opened his address by side are you on, anyway?," ethical question "depends on "Before the advent of TV, ethics plays within the describing the roles of uni versity Mudd explained that neither the whether the story is worth the journalists had a legitimate role framework of a society academicians and journalists as public nor political leaders ethical compromise." as Ii ve witnesses to public events. dedicated--at least in theory--to " parallel branches of the same understand the press. "We are Mudd argued that the With television, the public is its the con ept of a free press. tree of truth." But where not on a side," said Mudd. "The situational approach is' 'no better own eyewitness. Journalists are Lecturing on " The Floating scholars may have years in which press exists to report the news. " or worse than any other ethical now in the role of marketers and Ethics of Journalism " on to discover their errors, Despite the theoretical code," and that the lack of a commentators. " According to Wednesday, March 31 , Mudd "journalists only have about arguments on behalf of a free rigid code ofethics actually better Mudd, the changes caused' 'the described journalism's eight hours to get it wTong," press, Mudd acknowledged that conforms to First Amendment media [to lose] sight of its professional code of ethics to an joked Mudd. He then continued ethical considerations have protections of free speech. pw-pose to seek and report the audience consisting mainly of by vigorously defending the role become increasingly Adherence to a single ethical truth--not to get ratings or sell local community members. He ofthe free press as necessary for problematic for the national code " must require enforcement, products. " Panel focuses attention on AIDS as a Williamsburg issue By CARLA ARCHIE away the fear that separates us," " AIDS isn't a San Francisco noted Dale. They came to tell issue. It's not a gay issue. It's a their stories, to educate and offer Williamsburg issue," said hope. Hannah Sims (2L), board mem­ Ann Gilbert, a counselor for ber to the Williamsburg AIDS Planned Parenthood started the Network. So opened the discus­ event by giving a brief descrip­ sion at a panel presentation en­ tion ofthe virus. Although AlDS titled "AIDS: Fear and Hon­ may take anywhere from 7 to 15 esty" that was held on Wednes­ years to develop, the human day, March 3 I, at M-W. immuno-deficiency virus (HIV) The presentation was spon­ can be detected within three sored by Students for Ethnic, weeks to three months of expo­ Racial, and Cultural Harmony sure as your immune system pro­ (SEReR) WIder the Jeadergbip duces antibodies to help fight of President Greg Dale (3L) the disease. Gilbert emphasized along with the Williamsburg that transmission is limited to AIDS Network. the exchan,ge of fluids contain­ Panelists included an AIDS ing human protein. Those fluids educator for Planned Parenthood are blood, semen, vaginal fluids, of Hampton, a married couple breast milk and exchanges of Hilllnah Sims (2L) and Greg Dale (3L) coordinated SERCH's panel discussion on AIDS infected with the virus and a (standing). Panel members (L to R) Ann Gilbert, Frank Sergy, Debbie Sergy, Conni.e mother who had lost her son to Howard, and Jonathon Bronson discussed how HIV and AIDS have affected their lives. See AIDS, page 20 the disease. "They came to take New Student Bar Association prepares to take office By DOUG MILLER representatives this year. "I think you representative positions, Julie Patterson mittee heads and the seven IL appoint­ Marshall-Wythe Students elected a need some continuity," said Brewster, and Michael Cox earned the seats over ments to the Judicial Council. According new slate of officers and representatives "because those of us who were on SBA this year's rep, Rodney Archer. Patterson to Short, the Council appointments fol­ in SBA elections held Tuesday, April 6. this year know the things that need to be received 98 votes; Cox, 70 votes; and Iowa three-step process. "First, I review All three officer elections were won by changed, and where there is room for Archer 53 votes. Patterson said she is the applications in full, then the Chief former SBA executive board members, improvement.' , anxious to get more students involved Justice reviews them and we'll both come which made way for four newcomers to The race for next year's 3L represen­ with SBA activities. "Ifpeople are made up with a list ofabout 20 names. Then we the board in the representative slots. Kyle tatives was won by Dave Spooner, with aware of what the SBA and its commit­ take that list to members of the lL class Short (2L), who was elected president of 53 votes and Mark Capron with 38. The tees are doing, they will become in­ who we know and ask their opinions." the SBA in March, was pleased with the race had no candidates after the first volved," she said. "But you've got to While there is no official nominating results. "We had new opportunities for deadline for declarations had passed. After have a lot of enthusiasm to get the word process, Short said the newly elected last year's reps within the SBA, and that consultation with the current and future out." class representatives will have a lot of means we'll also get some new blood in presidents, Judicial Council Chief Jus­ The new executive board will be sworn input. with the representatives," he said. "I tice Susanna Broaddus (3L) decided to in at the next SBA meeting on April 14. The committee structure will change think it will be a good mix of experience extend the period for nominations. Ac­ They will also have another meeting slightly next year. "I'm going to be and new energy." cording to Short, a number of people had before the end of the semester on April assigning the reps to specific commit­ Dave Delk (2L), was re-elected as indicated an interest in running. "We felt 21. Short, who announced plans to hold tees," Short said, "so that we can get a Vice President. He received 135 votes, it made more sense to open up the nomi­ a pre-fall semester retreat for his execu­ better handle on what they are doing. edging Ian Alberg (I L) in one of the few nations and allow those with a real inter­ tive board, said the date has been tenta­ They are going to be watched much more contested races. Erin Brewster (lL) re­ est to declare, rather than have a lot of tivelysetforAug. 14 and 15,theweekend closely." SBA standing committees in­ ceived 193 votes in her unopposed race confusion with write-in campaigns." before law camp for next year's lLs clude, Admissions, Minority Recruitment, for SBA Secretary. Charles Griffith (2L), Ultimately, four candidates were on the begins. Social, Graduation and Placement. Short also running unopposed, earned the Trea­ ballot. The close race included Spooner, In addition to the new members of the will also appoint a representative to the surers position with 189 votes. Both Capron, Gina Love and Matt Vroom. executive board, Short will be consider­ Board of Student Affairs and to the stu­ Griffith and Brewster served as class In a three way race for the two 2L ing more than 100 applications for com- dent division of the ABA. 4 ======Mo~~Aprul~l~T~AMKvsC~ Law Watch By MARGARET HARDY lurked beneath the trackless employer's insurer settled. The based on sexual orientation. has ruled that sexual harassment and JOHN CROUCH waste. (Law Week). employer tried to appeal, saying Minnesota is the eighth state to claims should be judged by a PLAYING GOD: The " God CRUEL & UNUSUAL SHIRT: it was unconstitutional to pay adopt such legislation. (Wall reasonable woman standard Squad" which grants exceptions Beer thief Russell Hackler need people for racism "disguised in Street Joumal). rather than a reasonable person. to the Endangered Species Act not wear a T-shirt announcing pseudoscientific mumbo CAN THEY EVEN SPELL The court stated that in these must have no contact with the his "felony probation for theft" jumbo." (Trial). CONSTITUTIONAL?: An situations men and women can White House, the Ninth Circuit as a condition of his probation, a SAMURAI QUADRIPLE­ Alabama state court judge has be expected to react differently. has ruled. It cited the Adminis­ California appeals court held. GIC: The Suzuki Samurai, ruled that the state's public school (Wall Street Joumal} , trative Procedure Act and said Justice James Thaxter wrote that known for easily flipping over, system is so bad that it violates BLACKMAILING GAYS: A the president had no right to "the purpose of probation is re­ survived its first jury trial. A the constitutional and statutory federal appeals court in Chicago lobby regulators behind the habilitation," which is impeded Phoenix jury found that quad­ rights of the students. The deci­ has ruled that a blackmailer's scenes. (Law Week) . by the shirt's effect onjob inter­ riplegic Donald Scott failed to sion is controversial among edu­ prison sentence can be increased JEFF DAVIS WOULD UN­ views. (National Law Joumal). prove the Samurai was unsafe. cators and lawyers. Most of the because his victim was a mar­ DERSTAND: Involuntary ser­ WACHTLER GUILTY: (National Law Joumal). controversy is over the criteria ried man who was secretly gay. vice is not involuntary servitude Former New York Court of Ap­ ASSET FREEZING: A new established by the judge that the The court stated this deserved under the 13th Amendment, the peals Chief Judge Sol Wachtler Illinois law freezing marital as­ schools must meet to be deemed greater punishment because it Third Circuit said, because high pled guilty to mail harassment. sets during divorce deprives constitutional, which include was more cruel than many other school service requirements are He could face five years and a people of property without due "providing students with an fonns ofblackmail. (Wall Street "forthe students' own benefit." $250,000 fine, but prosecutors process, said Chicago Judge opportunity to attain sufficient Joumal). (National Law Joumal). agreed to seek an 18-month sen­ Arthur Dunne. The issue has skills to compete with other stu­ SMOKING BAN SOUGHT: ABORTION STALKERS: tence. (USA Today). been appealed to the state's Su­ dents throughout the world." Three mothers of children Florida's stalking law a1lo:"s an USE THE BEAR: The Forest preme Court. Many lawyers (Wall Street Joumal). suffering from asthma have filed injunction against anti-abortion Service's ban on unauthorized think the law would save clients' MOTHER CAN'T KIDNAP: lawsuits in federal district court harassment at clinics, said use of Smokey Bear is unconsti­ money and time. (Chicago Tri­ A federal appeals court in in Connecticut seeking a ban on Melbourne Judge Robert tutional when applied to non­ bune). Richmond has ruled that a bio­ smoking in fast-food restaurants. McGregor. Clinics in Dallas commercial speech, said a fed­ JUDICIARY IS BROKE: Fed­ logical mother cannot be pros­ The plaintiffs claim the smoking and Charleston are seeking simi­ eral court in Washington state. eral courts will have no money ecuted federally for kidnapping violates their children's rights lar orders. (Wall Street Jour­ An environmental group used a for civil juries and court-ap­ her own children even when she under the Federal Americans nal). picture of Smokey with a pointed criminal attorneys after no longer has legal custody of With Disabilities Act. Wendy's ANT ARCTIC ANARCHY: chainsawto protest USFS policy; May 12, the Judicial Council them. The case involved a South McDonald's, and Burger King, The Supreme Court said the Fed­ the USFS sought an injunction. said. Judges may still beginjury Carolina woman who took her werenamedasdefendants. (New eral Tort Claims Act does not (Law Week) . and cril}1inal trials if they think children from a foster home at York Times). apply in Antarctica, since it AFROPHOBIA: The lith Cir­ the trials won't be affected. gunpoint. States may still choose FORCED SPEECH: Berkeley would subject the government cuit dismissed an appeal of Ruth (Richmond Times-Dispatch). to prosecute parents in those cir­ and other state universities may to Antarctic tort law, which is Jandrucko's award for a fear of GA Y RIGHTS: Minnesotaleg­ cumstances. (Wall Street Jour­ not use mandatory student activ­ sparse. The plaintiff claimed black men arising from a mug­ islation, effective August I, will nal). ity fees to fund political groups the U.S. should have warned her ginJ! at work. After an adminis­ prohibit discrimination in hous­ REASONABLE WOMAN: A and speech, the California Su­ late husband that crevasses trative judge ruled for her, her ing, employment, and education federal appealscourtinSt. Louis preme Court ruled. (Reason).

Graduation exercises commence: And lift, And drink . • • By KIRSTIN MUELLER the night. Games will include horseshoes, and ideas for Beach Olympics should be ceremony will take place at 5 p.m. at the Getready3Ls!!! Graduationisamere football, volleyball and relays. directed to either Melissa Callahan or Joe stadium. Graduates should assemble at five weeks away. Here's a schedule of Hamburgers and hot dogs will be provided. Cartee. 4:30 p.m. In case of rain, the law school events for the week after the last exam The SBA will cover the cost of the food Lynn and Her Toolkit will play at the ceremony will be held in Phi Beta Kappa period (not counting, ofcourse, the Mother and sodaas well as the rental ofthe games official Marshall-Wythe night at Kelly's Hall. Each student will receive four of All Exams). and grills. The SBA, however, will not on Wednesday, May 12. The ban'd will tickets for the indoor ceremony. OnTuesday,May 11,BeachOlympics buy the alcohol. Donations of $3 per also play at Kelly's on Monday, May 10. The SBA will be selling the Barbecue will be held at Missy Callahan's Nagshead person are requested to coverthe purchase Graduation weekend will begin on and Breakfast tickets in the law school chalet at mile marker 10.5. The event ofkegs. In case ofinclement weather, the FridaY,May 14, with a third-year cocktail lobby on Tuesday, Wednesday and starts at 2:00 p.m. and will continue into event may be rescheduled. Suggestions hour at O'Callaghan's. o 'Callaghan 's Thursday of this week. Law school will provide free hors d'oeuvres, drink gradua~on ceremony tickets will also be specials and live music. distributed. Tickets for the Barbecue will All graduates and their guests are be $5 for adults and $3 for children under invited to attend a barbecue on the front 12. Breakfast tickets are $6 for adults and lawn of the law school on Saturday, May $4 for children. The SBA is subsidizing 15, from 12noon to 3 p.m. Second Street over halfof the cost of both the Barbecue will cater the event. The extensi ve menu and Breakfast. As a result, ticket prices includes barbecue sandwiches, fried are much lower than in past years. chicken and baked beans. Beer will be Main campus graduation tickets will served. The event will be moved to be distributed the last week of classes. 1 BUY-ONE i$lOFFi 253-7614 Trinkle Hall in case of rain. Each student will receive five tickets. 1 F~~~~~~~ORRps:,~O I ANY I Also on Saturday, the Order of Coif Students may pick them up from the ceremony will be held at 4 p.m. in the administrative office at the law school. I I I 10 am - 12 midnight GET ONE Moot Court room. Students who ha e not yet bought 1 OFEOUALOfl I I DAILY FOOTLONG The Hilton will host the graduation their caps and gowns should go to the 1 LESSEAPAIC E I SU8* I FOAONLY breakfast on Slmday, May 16 from 8:30 Bookstore. They are no longer available I to II :30 a.m. 'There is seating available from the law school. Hoods will be I 1A *: 'W,lh purchase bra : Call-in orders for at least 250 people, so shift seating is distributed by PAD within the next two I 9 9,. I o...~=:::'::':- I welcome unnecessary. Graduates and parents may weeks. In addition, a special pen to mark 'W,1h purchase 01 a .-...... 61l fH come at any time between 8 and 11 a.m. the tercentenary must be bought by each medium soh drink I 1 The Hilton will stop seating at 11 a.m .. student for $4. Orw~PI"~pn...w °1 C' uo.. • ..,. .. bIlffJ Williamshurg rossmg I I The main c.ampus ceremony 'Will be A handout detailing all graduation l (11] :!lIIj\:.jI I (111:I II I;\'" I sh~i~i~g&C~;;er held at William Zabel Stadium from I activities will be distributed to all 3Ls L _ =..::~ _~ _~~:: _.-1 ______until 4 p.m. on Sunday. The law school this week. 5 Monday, Apri112,1993 THEA~c' C URIAE ======Gradplex housing shortage a false alarm; surplus predicted By SARAH NEWMAN submitted their deposit will be able to randomly assigned lottery numbers these spaces. Contrary to what was originally find a space for next year. In fact, there tomorrow after 2 p.m. at the Office of Anyone who is unable to attend at his predicted the current Lettie Pate may actually be a surplus of spaces for Residence Life. These num bers establish or her assigned time may send a proxy to \Vhitehead Evans complex residents upper-class students. the order in which rooms will be selected. make the selection. The proxy must have should have no problems in finding space Possible reasons for this result may Students will choose by individual rooms, written authorization from the absent in the complex for next year. Due to include the often talked about fear among rather than by apartments. Students who student as well as that student's lottery restri ct ions about the percentage 0 f space the first-year residents that they would wish to remain in their current room! ticket. in the housing reserved for first-year not get housing. Many decided it was apartment will have automatic squatter's Contracts for the grad complex students, there was a scare among this fruitless to even try. A desire for different rights. Those who wish to change commit students to the space for a fuH year's class of ILs, who feared they living arrangements--perhaps with cable apartments must go through the process academic year, August 1993 through May ould potentially be bumped from their access--and a dissatisfaction with the of choosing a new room this Friday. On 1994. As long as a student remains rooms and forced to search for other current situation may also have been that day, students will arrive at the enrolled, they are obligated to pay rent living arrangements. factors. In addition, some students felt Graduate Complex Lounge at a time for the full contract period. Anyquestions Students were asked to submit a S 00 that after a trying first year they were not indicated on each lottery ticket. They about this process may be directed to deposit in order to enter a lottery for all too eager to be neighbors to the law will then be able to select a room from the Assistant Director of Residence Life, housing, and to face the possibility of school again. list of vacancies. If all the rooms in a Jerryl Briggs. Students may also attend being " randomlyexcluded." Therewas, For those students who chose to student's chosen apartment are not full the last complex HaH Council meeting of however, no terrifi rush to return to the remain, the process is not over. Pre-paid by the end ofthe selection day, incoming the semester and the year today at 7 p.m. complex, and so every student who students will be able to pick up their students will be randomly assigned to in the Grad Complex Lounge. Mary and William presents divorce mediation lecture By JEFFREY REGNER resolved using mediation. Most Representatives from the of the groups reached satisfying Peninsula Mediation Center solutions through mediation. came to the law school on There was agreement that not Wednesday, April 7, to speak to only was the solution fair, but interested students about divorce the solution was the parties' own mediation. Merri Hanson idea of how the property should Eckles, founding partner of the be allocated. Center, and Tazewell Hubard, a Eckles emphasized that the practicing attorney in Norfolk, goal of mediation is to focus on explained how the mediation arri ing at a solution to the process works. Hubard also dis­ present and future problems and cussed a new statute which codi­ not focusing on the past. She fies the court's power to require outlined the six steps of media­ alternati ve dispute resolution. tion, which she said could be Deborah Samuelson, co­ found, although in an anecdotal founder of the Peninsula Media­ and disjointed manner, in Gel­ Tazewell Hubard, Barbara Seibert, Merri Hanson Eckles and Deborah --Jell Regner tion Center and Barbara Seibert ting to Yes. Samuelson of the Peninsula Mediation Center explained the basics of also from the Center, were at the The first step is setting the divorce mediation in a presentation sponsored by Mary & William. presentation to answer questions. stage. The idea, she said, is to Parties in most disputes, get each person to understand in the fourth step. Finally, the ence, can be mediated. Even court to send any contested civil Eckles explained, tend to go to the role of the mediator and the agreement should be finalized divorces involving complex fi­ matter to mediation. The court extremes: they will either fight goal of the session. Second, the so that it can have legal effect. nancial situations can be resolved can first send the parties to an or flee. This is true in divorce mediator must gather informa­ Hubard, who has acted as a ifthere is good discovery and the initial session to determine the situations. Couples will try to tion similar in scope to pre-trial substitute judge in family law mediator is able to bring the feasibility of mediation, then talk about their di fferences, then discovery. Third, the mediator cases, said that litigation in fam­ parties together in an understand­ send them to a mediator. Attor­ when that fails, they go to court. should help the parties frame the ily lawdoes a disservice to fami­ ing frame of mind. This is often neys can be present at the media­ Mediation is an opt ion that strikes issues. The mediator should be lies, tearing them apart rather difficult when lawyers are tion. Hubard said he liked the a balance between an informal able to neutralize each issue so than mending them. He said as present at the mediation. The new statute because in the past private solution, which may not that it can be discussed objec­ a judge he often found that the mediator must be able to take courts have felt that they didn't work, and a formal public solu­ tively. The fourth step is to parties were not very far apart in control of the situation and pre­ have the power to send a dispute tion, which may not satisfy both develop options for resolving their positions, but they did not vent the lawyers from encourag­ to mediation. He did say that he parties. the dispute. Fifth was the actual have an effective means to bring ing the parties to fight to win. was disappointed that parties Eckles engaged students in negotiation which focused on their positions together. The new Virginia statute, could challenge the mediation an role-playing exercise. The the resolution criteria developed Anything, he told the audi- Hubard explained, allows the after it was complete. audience was divided into groups of three: one person played the NOTIC E: MOOT COURT BUSHROD TOURNAMENT UPCOMING wife, another the husband and The Moot Court Board invites all rising second-years to compete respondent on another. After all entrants have argued both sides of the third, the judge. The fic­ in next Falls Bushrod Competition. The tournament is a rare chance the case, the entrant group will be narrowed to 64 competitors. The tional dispute was over a VCR. to be judged on oral advocacy skills. Furthermore, as Moot Court 64 people will argue only one side of the case, afterwhich 32 people Husband and wife each spoke demonstrates to potential employers your ability to analyze legal are chosen for the Moot Court bar. Although the 32 bar members issues clearly and succinctly under pressure, it is an important will continue to compete until one wins, all will gain the chance to individuaJJy for two minutes, and addition to your resume. The Moot Court experience, although compete for W&M in various regional and national competitions. then the judge handed down a competitive, is actually fun. The packet will be handed out Sept. 7. The Intent to Compete decision. The tournament takes the fonn of an appellate argument. Two fonn can be handed in anytime on or before Saturday, Sept. 12. First The losing participants felt weeks before the arguments begin, all entrants are given a packet arguments will be Sept. 21 -24 . Anyone having a contlict with Yom that the judgment was arbitrary that contains a legal problem and case law to support both sides of Kipper can elect to argue Sept. 21 and 23. The round of 64 will be and unfair. Many had the sense the problem. All rising 2Ls are invited to pick up a packet and peruse on Sept. 26 and the round of 32 through the round of 4 will be Sept. that although the problem was the legal problem before deciding whether they will compete. Upon 28-30. The final round will be on Saturday, Oct. 2. resolved, the judge never looked receiving the packet, students have five days to sign and return an Please call Laurie Anne Hartman, Bushrod TournamentJustice, into all of the possible solutions. "intent to compete" form. An affirmative answer on this form at 220-9261, or drop a note her hanging file if you have questions or This was contrasted with a obligates the student to compete. concerns. The Moot Court Bar hopes to see all rising second-years second scenario which was simi­ Students prepare to represent the petitioner on one evening and participate in next Fall's toumarnent! lar except that the dispute was 6 Monday, April 12,1993 THE A~ICUS CURIAE Judge Mohammed Bedjaoui discusses linguistic barriers hindering reform in embattled nations International Court of Justice metnber speaks at M-W By BRIAN ALPERSTEIN the world. as the right to self-determination, exist generation caused the problems, and the Those who love nothing more than a Bedjaoui spoke of the problem of and must be protected on an international next generation must fIx them. Bedjaoui philosophical discussion about the moral defining terms in the international level. He saidl the world is in crisis as a recommended that the U.S. and other dilemmas that face the international community. Words such as "self­ result of the mismanagement of prior developed countries commit even more community, would have greatly enjoyed determination" and " people" mu~t be generations. resources to solve these international the discussion led by Mohammed adequately explained and understood Unfortunately, what Bedjaoui did not problems. He also said the solutions must Bedjaoui, a Judge on the International before international organizations like say was how to accomplish these changes. come from within the problem countries Court ofJustice (lCJ), on Saturday, April the United Nations can begin to solve the He spoke of the inability of the themselves and cannot be imposed by 3. Bedjaoui's visit was sponsored by the intemational problems tbat have cropped International Court of Justice to take another power. International Law Society. up in Yugoslavia, East Africa and other action to protect rights and defIne terms It is this quandary that made listening Bedjaoui, in addition to being an ICJ nations. According to Bedjaoui, without because the ICJ has no standing in pri vate to Bedjaoui interesting, if you like Judge, has held important international understanding these terms, we cannot disputes. listening to rhetoric regarding the moral and domestic posts for his country, adequately confront tbe moral crisis that Bedjaoui said it would be the problems facing the world. Algeria. He sees the world in a we currently face; we cannot determine respousibility of the world's youth to However, if you insist on searching humanitarian light and spent much of his who has certain rights and who does not forge ahead and solve the pressing issues for practica.i solutions to solve these moral discussion waxing poetic about the human and how to enforce these rights. such as self-determination, international questions then frustration would have rights problems encountered throughout Bedj aoui argued that these rights, such hunger and violence. He said his ruled the day. Marking time at the shrine: 3Ls present Elvis memorabilia By ANDREW SMITH often sought solace "on the Tom Diggs and Bob naugahyde surrowlding this spe­ Dickinson (3 Ls), out ofthe good­ cial place. " He decided to make ness of their graduating hearts, a contribution to the shrine after donated to the Student Lounge/ a conversation withElvis Presley Elvis Shrine an authentic Elvis on a recent plane trip convinced Presley timepiece. The clock him that it was a fitting and features Elvis in his early years, appropriate maImer in which to attired in blue sharkskin with his commemorate William and pelvic region swaying in time to Mary's tercentennial, as well as an infectious, but unheard, rock emphasize the school's royal 'n' roll beat. The clock will be ties. Diggs had hoped that positioned directly overthe King Presleyhimselfwouldbeonhand lamp and to the right of the bust for the· ceremony, but his offers and black velvet portraiture. of a free trip to the Wendy's TIle official unveilillg cer­ Superbar and fried peanut butter emony took place at the Shrine and bacon Sa.I1dwiches at the on April 9. Many members of Surrey House were apparently the local commwlity gathered to insufficient incentive to coax the pay tribute to the King and toast portly crooner out of his self­ the new clock with shots of root imposed exile. beer, although they readily ac­ Di ckinson' s comments on the Bob Dickinson (3L), resident cartoonist and Elvis worshiper, --Andrew Smith knowledged that several gift, while perhaps less fulsome giddily plays air pian4) beside the newest addition to M-W's quaaludes washed down with a thaIl Diggs's, were no less mean­ regionally renowned Elvis shrine. healthy dose of Wild Turkey ingful. Dickinson stated that his would probably have been more primary moti ve for donating the however, by making clear that comment, one of the attendees the times or simply out of time, appropriate. Attendees at the clock, unlike that of Diggs, was he was compelled to give tQe suggested that the clock be set departing third-years Bob ceremony included the not necessarily his devotion to clock because he believed that fIve minutes fast because' 'Elvis Dickinson and Tom Diggs have administration 's ambassador-of­ Presley's legacy. He quickly the students at Marshall-Wythe is always ahead of his time." shown us a generosity equal on! y goodwill Liz Jackson, library allayed the fears of any suspi­ deserved at least one accurate Regardless of whether the to that ofthe King himself. Sonny emissaries Mary Grace HWle al1d cious minds in the audience. timepiece. In reference to that King is ahead ofhis time, behind and Red would be proud. Marty Rush, several officials from the neighboring National LSIC proposes amen.dments to constitution Center for State Courts and rep­ resentatives of the local and na­ By MARC BERNSTEIN Under the present constitution, support to existing groups (such default. The new system, tional media (i.e. Amiclls and Law Students Invol ved in the the positions are filled by election as to ABLE to provide pumpkins modeled after that used by the Vilgillia Ga=ette reporters). Community (LSIC), the in the fall semester. The to carve with homeless children Public Service Fund, will allow Diggs, reading from a pre­ umbrella organization and amendment would require at Halloween), donations (to the the appointment of motivated pared statement as he gently clearinghouse for most of applicants to submit a brief United Way and to the frunily of and conscientious individuals. dabbed the comer of his eye with Marshall-Wythe's communi ty statement ofinterest and perhaps a loca.i man who passed away The addition of a new board a handkerchief, told a moving service organizations, is planning be interviewed prior to selection suddenly at age 26), and member will allow for the tale of how the Elvis Shrine, to runend its constitution. by the existing board. community projects solely continued growth ofthe group's viewed on a trip to Williams­ Currently LSIC has four The amendment was sponsored by LSIC (su h as the outreach, particularly in the area burg as a prospective law stu­ officers, two co-chairs, a proposed by tllis year's officers nursing home visit on Valentine's of LSIC sponsored projects. dent three long years ago, con­ treasurer and a secretary. The in an effort to address problems Day). LSIC encourages Student and vinced him that "no other law proposed amendment would from past years. This year the LSIC hopes to continue this faculty mem bers to comment on school would do." His long change these positions to board offIcers ofLSIChave tried to lay positive progress by applying the proposed changes by contemplation at the Shrine led positions. There would be one a foundation upon which to for funding and university forwarding remarks to the LSIC him to the inescapable conclu­ chair, a treasurer and a secretary, continue to build a solid recognition next year. hanging fIle. sion that he would attend as well as two members at large. community service organization. Traditionally, the officer slots The vote con erning the Marshall-Wythe. The proposed runendment This has included fund­ have been difficult to fill via the runendment will take place at Diggs confIded that in his would also change the selection raising, outrea h and recruiting election method. The first the first LSIC meeting of the years at Marshall-Wythe he has process used to fill these slots. for existing groups, financial volunteer has usually won by 1993-94 year. Monday, April 12,1993 THE AMIcus CuRIAE ======7 Panel lauds forll1ation ofwar crill1es tribunal for Yugoslavia By VANESSA PETERSON seen rape used in a systematic that such a tribunal is fair in cause of the " cleansing [effect] of the accused with trials of ab­ The International Law Soci- way as a matter of policy." adjudicating offenses. of a trial." stention. ' , ety co-hosted a panel discussion She stack said the war crimes The tribunal will have only Zagaris said that the tribunal Paust said things which are on the atrocities in Yugoslavia in former Yugoslavia are of the limited effect on the crimes cur- will probably be established by not classified as war crimes could with the Reves International "highest level" because they rently taking place. Prosecution the UN Security Council. Be­ still violate hwnan rights law Studies Center on Tuesday, have been condoned by the of war crimes may have a cur­ cause of limited resources, the and would call for civil, if not March 30. Former Ambassador Serbian leaders. He noted that rent deterrent effect because tribunal will have to be selective criminal sanctions. He said the Robert Fritts, also a senior fel­ currently no war crimes tribunal those involved in the conflict with regard to which individuals "massive attempt of using rape low at the W &M public policy exists, but if one is created it will will witness their colleagues it brings to task. It will probably to cleanse an ethnic society" program, moderated the discus­ " hopefully" bringjustice to and being brought to justice. More­ only adjudicate cases involving can be called a threat or use of sion of the year-old war. reconciliation among the over, it will serve to educate crimes committed on a mass and force against principles of the Jerome Shestack, former US independentYugoslav republics. other nations as to the potential systematic scale. UN Charter. representative to the UN and UN officials are in the pro­ consequences ofactions that their The tribunal will also face Zagaris added that there has candidate for the American Bar cess of establishing war crimes political and military leaders tough legal issues. For example, been an enormous growth in in­ Association presidency, said all tribunals. The Bosnian govern­ may undertake in future wars, the court will need to determine ternational criminal law partly ofthe stories about the atrocities ment has already begun to take Zagaris said. if they will hold commanding due to the fact that parties are in the former Yugoslavia are action. On March 30 the Aside from causing a deter­ officers liable despite the de­ using it to bring tort suits. He true. He described prison camps Bosnians tried, convicted and rent effect, a war crimes tribunal fense that rank and file soldiers noted that public international where women are raped repeat­ condemned to death two Serbian would also seek retribution. carried out the actual crimes. law plays a significant role in the edly. soldiers. Shestack said it may not be pos­ Along with criminal sanc­ daily practice of law but unfor­ "It is hard to believe that Bruce Zagaris, an interna­ sible to get adequate retribution tions, Jordan Paust, law profes­ tunately is not taught in law these kinds of bestialities [sic] tional criminal practitioner, said because of the "hideousness" sor at the University of Houston, schools. Hopefully, the forma­ that happened in the Holocaust that it is important to establish a of the crimes. He noted that the said civil sanctions will also be tion of a tribunal will also bring could go on again," Shestack war crimes tribunal. He added tribunal may also further post­ possible. He added that there is attention to and help remedy this said. "This is the first time I've that care must be taken to ensure war reconciliation efforts be- a "serious deprivation of rights deficiency. Sullivan predicts nine year tenure, ifnot "run out on a rail" By KEVIN KRONER group. What is the relative position of university. In all your time at William reversing in the near future, or do we [The following is the final part of an the undergraduate faculty pay scale in & Mary as an administrator and faculty have a few more years ahead of us? interview with President Timothy J. their peer group? member, has there ever been a There are two questions you have to Sullivan, reflecting on his new office.] The last time that data was compiled temptation to move to the private answer to know. First is, what's going to Amicus: Do you think there is a was 1986, so the data we have right now universities, where you don't have to happen to the Virginia economy. There possibility of strife or friction when you is not adequate to answer th.at question be dependant on state budget concerns? are signs that it is improving, but 1 think have a rather distinct entity, like the right now. We are in the process of I haven't been asked by that many there is very good reason to be concerned law school. tryin{!. to expand and developing that data, and ifyou come and [private universities), that's one thing. about the impact of some of President increase in stature, and another distinct see me in the early part of May, I can Every uni versity has problems. Because Clinton's proposals in terms ofdefense. I entity, the undergraduate campus, answer you, but I can't right now. There we are a public university, the issue of don't know if you saw the Wall Street trying to do the same thing? Is there a has clearly been a deterioration in our public funding is going to be a continuing Journal the other day. It showed a list of fight for a limited amount of resources position relative to other institutions, but challange. I think private universities, states and the projected impact of the and for your attention? I was somewhat surprised to discover that unless they are endowed to a level that defense cuts and Virginia was either at Sullivan: I think there can be what I the legal education develops, by far, the very few are, continually worry about the top or bottom of the list, along with a describe as "creative tension," simply best data of comparative standing within how much they charge in tuition and group offour or five with the most negative caused by strong willed and able people the education arena. In most other raising the money that they need. They impact. So, that's one issue. pushing forward somewhat different disciplines, such data does not exist. So, have different kinds of problems. Even asswning the worst doesn' t agendas. That's good, that's healthy. If we are collecting it now. Certainly, every university in the happen, and we see some consistent that creative tension degenerated into Is the College collecting it? And, country constantly struggles for money. amount of modest growth, then the real hostility that would be who is collecting it as far as the law But, the discussion takes on a much question is what share of the pie is higher counterproductive, and 1 don't think we school is concerned? different flavor at (private universities] education going to get. We have, in the are at that point. There isn't any necessary The American Bar Association does than it does here. In some ways, it last four years, in higher education, gone conflict between the aspirations of those it all for us. We send in all this stuff, every doesn't matter what the quality of from 16% of the General Fund, down to interested in the undergraduate program law school does, and they send it back in William & Mary is like at any given 13%. So we've suffered areal loss in our and those interested in the law school and a book that's compiled over the course of time, there is always the added share. That's without any adjustment for other graduate programs. What is really a year, so it's done every year, routinely. consideration ofwhat the fiscal situation inflation. required is the development of a true If, in May, the results come back of the state is, regardless of whether the What have we lost it to? university perspective, recognizing that showing a similar problem, do you College is swimming upstream or Corrections, Medicare, Medicaid and William & Mary, while we are a college foresee a similar solution, a tuition downstream. K through 12 [education]. Those are the in name, truly we are a small university, surcharge? That's right. That's always there. items that have higher priority. and that there are going to be different I don't know. 1 don't rule anything I've been here long enough now to see What about your future? Do you centers of strength. The de 'elopment of out, but, working together with the people . many cycles. 1 came here in 1972. The foresee yourself growing old in this a center of strength at the law school is not involved, 1 will attempt to consider a period between 1972 and 1980, those position? something that comes at the expense of wide range of options. One is a tuition were not plush times for higher education­ I might grow old, but 1'm not going to the business school or the faculty of Arts charge. Another is working to convince -salaries were pretty flat. From about hold onto it for great,long period oftime. and Sciences; it just isn't. When we can the Commonwealth that they have to do 1982 to 1988--great times financially for I said, when 1 became Dean of the law all reach a critical mass of people on this better on faculty salaries. ~1aybe there higher education. Since 1989 it has not school 1 was going to stay five to seven campus who accept that fact, the problem are some other ones. We will have to been very good. years. I stayed seven. I think eight to nine you describe will be solved. Even now, think about it. Having the information is Those cycles are going t6 be there. 1 years--I don't know if! am going to last I don't consider it to be a critical problem, the first step to developing a plan to deal would like to think we could reach a point that long, but that would be the right but probably a difficult one. with the problem. were public policy would be managed amount of time. Getting, as I am, a sense One of the things that brought the One ofthe things that seems to come with a long enough view so that kind of of the College and what time periods are question to my mind was the recent up again and again in our discussion is fluctuation can be leveled out some. required to make positive change, eight discussion ofpayraiscs (for law faculty). money from the state. I guess that is That's not likely to happen, so it's just a to nine years is pretty realistic. If my The most compelling argument behind something wbich is peculiar to a state given we have to work with. health holds up and I haven't screwed up the pay raises is our stature in our peer university as opposed to a private Do you see this particular downturn so badly that I'm run out of here on a rail. THE AMIcus CURIAE ···' Peatured Commentarie.s Monday, April 12,1993 8 Five quick and easy steps to a better (ranked) law school third. What better time than now while reaching the top echelon. Money gets and Mary made great strides with respect the university is in the national spotlight you better and more spacious facilities, to its stature during President Sullivan's By Tim Belevetz to launch an aggressive effort to enhance higher salaries, more endowed tenure as dean. Let's not lose that our reputation? Here is what to do: professorships, more books, better-funded momentum during .the term of the next When I came here in August 1990, I (I) Push hard for the proposed capital journals, a broader curriculum, more dean. And let's get a dean who is willing was not excited. William and Mary was expansion and improvements. Push for generous financial aid packages, and a to can substandard members ofthe faculty not among my top choices. But my all of it. This law school needs every public service loan forgiveness program. who cannot fulfill their obligations to original negative impressions ofMarshall­ square inch ofwhat has been proposed. If Without money there is no way a talented those us who pay their salaries! Wythe have since changed. the law school believes Richmond and/or group of students and instructors can (5) Let's remember that we have a This law school is not what I thought the university will not give us all of what realize its potential. friend in President Sullivan. He it was when I started. I believe firmly we we ask for, then ask for even more so that (3) Get rid of class rank completely. demonstrated a commitment to making have a bright, accomplished, and we get what we need. William and Mary William and Mary should show the world Marshall-Wythe stronger while he was motivated, if.not eclectic, student body is not going to compete with schools that that it has so much confidence in the dean. I am con\rinced that continuing that and, with a few very notable exceptions, have Edward Bennett Williams Libraries quality of all of its students that there is effort is a major component ofhis agenda an outstanding faculty which includes unless it improves and expands its no need to rank them. I don't know ofany as president. He has already risked several big hitters. facilities. top-level law school that still has a class unpopularity among some members of Despite the quality of this law school, (2) Get a more aggressive strategy ranking system. If Stanford and Yale the undergraduate faculty by proposing a however, I am troubled--and even and staff in the Development Office. Our don'tperceiveaneedtoranktheirstudents, much-needed salary hike for the law substantively injured--bythe factthat the law school has a $10.5 million endowment. why should we? If this modification professors. A committed ally in the world does not know what I have come to We call ourselves the nation's first law might seem insubstantial, consider that president's office can only help the law learn over the last two-and-a-half years. school, and we're operating with a appearances count when it comes to school's cause. Employers, college classmates, and financial bedrock of this size? This is reputation in the eyes of the world. Class It is im perati ve that William and Mary prospective students, to name just a few ridiculous! What kind of fundraising ranking isone ofthe elements that separate take these steps immediately. It is groups, do not have any idea of the type effort has been made since 1779? William good law schools from average law imperative to bear them in mind when of legal education William and Mary and Mary is more selective--at least on schools, and employers know this. selecting the new dean. More provides. In short, the Marshall-Wythe paper--than other schools which are (4) Select a new dean who is capable fundamentally, William and Mary must J.D. is undervalued. Who cares how continually rated higher, and there is no of raising large sums of money and who ask itself whether it wants to continue great your product is if no one knows question we have a fine, well published will aggressively seek to put this law languishing in its good but not great about it? William and Mary could be and faculty. Why then can't we break into the school on the map. The new dean should reputation or finally make a sincere effort should be on the top shelf of American . first tier? The answer is we're dirt poor, be a high-profile player in legal academia to break into the group of law schools law schools instead of on the second or and this sad fact is preventing us from with proven fundraising ability. William universally considered the best. Lost prosperity & found opportunity: career goals explored worked in many different busi­ choices, I wish you much suc­ that pile of rejection letters that family. Consensus says that law By Richard A. Hricik nesses and had watched the way cess and happiness. For those of brought so much pain and anxi­ students are overly competitive management used promotions, you who still aren't sure about ety may be the source of even and don't care too much about raises, etc. to control their em­ the days following May 16, you greater comfort. each other. "They" are clearly Well, Class of '93 gradua­ ployees. With my J.D. no one have a tremendous opportunity. ************ wrong as I was overwhelmed by tion is not too far away and it would ever be able to hold a job Since you have nothing to lose, Since this is the last time I get the outpouring of kindness and brings with it a mix of anticipa­ over my head because I could search your heart to flnd the to speak to you, I wanted to say support shown to me by so many. tion and uncertainty. Three years always quit and work for myself. answer to happiness in a given thank you to the entire M-W Thank you all again, and I ago we came here and the future Finding the answer to my ques­ career, law or otherwise. community for their support will see you at the graduation. was bright. While each one of us tion, early this semester I ac­ Ifyou do, ten years from now during the recent death in my And so will my mom. had our own personal goals, we ceptedajobofferfrommyselfas weren't too worried about our a sole practitioner. In my heart careers. I know I have made a decision Apologizing: the ethical thing to do The economy was doing that will make me happy. By JOHN LOHMANN I am afraid that I went after ics, I found them to be surpris­ pretty well and the prospects for I'm not alone as many are My definition ofan adult in­ some of those individuals most ingly sparse in substance. employment were good. No one now questioning themselves cludes one having the chutzpa to concerned with ethics, and in­ He listened intently and took seemed overly concerned about about what career would make stand up and take responsibility deed, the student as an indi­ the time to debate them with me. their grades since it appeared them happy. People are consid­ for one's action. This includes vidual, in our school. In retro­ That I respected. But what stuck that graduation would be the ering other careers and different the ability to admit when one has spect, what I intended to be an in my mind the most is when his ticket to financial success. But a types of legal employment that made a mistake. indictment of Western higher line of questioning turned to funny thing happened on the way were only lurking in the back of I made a mistake. Not a big education in its modem, relativ­ " us," the student body. Would to easy street. The economy their minds during law camp. one, mind you. A mistake ?f the istic, "I'm OK, You're OK" we attend such a course? When plunged and the bottom dropped Isn't it ironic that only now third degree. That is, I shot at the form, turned out to be an attack students don't have the time to out of the legal market. are we asking ourselves about wrong target. on those individuals who are attend extracurricular speakers, And maybe, just maybe it is what would make us happy, when A few issues back I wrote a trying to bring some ethical train­ presentations and forums, but the best thing that could have this should have been the first short feature concerning the sec­ ing into this experience. Just they do have the time to cut class ever happened to anyone of us. question we asked. ond-year ethics course. I at­ because I disagree with their toplaygolf(orinmycase,pool)? As the economy worsened, If the job market had been tacked the course as being inad­ methods or selection, surely I When students glaze over when­ the rejection letters flowed con­ booming many of us would end equate and as not living up to its should not have brought them ever a professor mentions the tinuously. As third year ap­ up leading quiet lives of des­ course name. While I still be­ into judgment on this issue. now familiar question, "Just proached I began to worry about peration in jobs we didn't like. lieve that the ethics course is Shortly after the feature came what is Justice?" Indeed. my future. I was forced to ask We would stay for dollars and truly not a course in pure ethics out I found myself in the office This exchange taught me a myself why did I come to law security rather than risking all and lacks a certain grounding in of one of the Gurus. He wanted little something. At the risk of school anyway? for a chance at real happiness. philosophy and religion, I have to know what I would do differ­ being overdramatic, I have seen The answer for me was I For those of you who have thought long and hard about the ently. I made my suggestions, the face of the enemy, and he is wanted independence. I had already made your career course, and those that teach it. and to my surprise, as most crit- me. Monday, April 12,1993 THE A\flcuS CURIAE 9 It's a MAD World Fear and loathing reach a dangerous precipice at M-W By M.A.DONALD What has this year brought out of us, morality becomes a misshapen, on this, the past year. (mere babies!) should have What is this thing? The black­ us? Have we been enriched? matter offlash cards and viscous We commenced in the midst of hurtled to their deaths off an icy ened, horrifying undersides of Bettered oursel ves? Or have we snooping. It is as if aliens were the election game with Clinton, bridge, to make more room in our personalities? The raving merely kept at bay the horror, hovering in their ships firing a Bush and Perot wrangling like the world for all oftheir contem­ lunatic madness that the ordi­ the snapping, drooling jaws of continuous jealousy beam down­ the stooges. With the election poraries busy raising families, nary keep bottled, the drug the infiniteexterna1? This name­ ward, but the truly frightening came the rise of law school p0- working hard to make ends meet, addled flirt with, and the perma­ less undercurrent of mania, this part is that there are no aliens, it litical party group-think events. and otherwise taking on the or­ nently insane wallow in. It's swirling energy that lives in the is we who are the beast. Among victors, and defeated, dinary responsibilities of adult there in all of us. The confines of basement, this thing, is the fear Like a vicious pack of dogs there was much alcoholism. life. our lives, the confines of our and loathing. tossed too few scraps of meat, The dean of the Law School But just as the bleakness and classrooms and building, and the Under ordinary circum­ we are forced to arrange and was finally fully canonized into evil in us wells to the point of confines of this swampy tourist stances the fear and loathing rearrange ourselves in pecking the presidency. Only a saint rupturing; just as we ponder the wasteland, squeeze the festering comesonl yonce in a great while, orders of ego. We suffer and are could really love Williamsburg. benefits of " full-auto" firing in lunacy to the surface. accompanying events of terri fic agitated by the effluent flow of The Prince ofWales proved him­ a hostage situation involving The conspiracy is now clear. magnitude: a contentious elec­ self-importance, seeping south­ self to be the King of Kinky just undergraduate skiers, Colonial The psychological trauma of tion campaign, a drug-saturated ward from the void that swal­ before his sermon to the con­ Williamsburg employees and external visions narrowly ad­ rampage through the desert of lows the national perspective, verted. Anyone with a Visa card anybody else who wants to party hered to, ancient and arbitrary American morality, a depraved money, and good will. And yet, and S2. 50 a minute can find out down to some David Koresh al­ m a ps to the roads of life, riot in the streets of an ordinary each year more struggle to s'Wim what Chuck really thinks of the bums, along come some new crammed down the throats of Latin American country such as up that same foul route; to the language. babies born into our midst, giv­ hWlgry human nestlings. Never Los Angeles. Here, amongst us place where nothing is made, The big scandal on the main ing us pause to put down the a fall in the goose step along a all, we have found the great foun­ nothing produced, nothing har­ campus seemed to revolve whisky bottle and take that round tight rope suspended one inch tain eternal, replenished each vested, but everything is sold. around a busload ofundergradu­ out of the chamber of that Trial above the floor ofthe ordinary as fall with the sacrificial spirits of The siren call to be a mosquito ates left alone in New Jersey Ad Uzi. It is time for the sum­ well as the interesting. But this the innocent. perched on a leech suckling on a without either a chaperon or their mer, time to call time-out, while world demands credentials Like brainwashing, the pro­ lamprey is deafening. mommies to hold their hands you still have one left, and time dammit and the guard at the cess strips us down and builds us So at the end ofanother round when they got aww scawwed of to recuperate to prepare once gate would rather kick your teeth up again in the mold of the cap­ of the ongoing bout we look the big bad snowstorm. These again to face the fear and loath­ in anyway. tor mentality. Beauty is flogged back, our minds twisted and whiny 18- to 20-somethings ing, whether here or hereafter.

cracythat African-Americans faced over be more than happy to bring a discrimina­ actions are not out of self-interest. "This RACISM, from page 1 the past decades," Salgado said. tion suit against M-W if either organiza­ is not forme. Itis for all the Latinos in the Although he has not heard from the tion thinks it would be advisable. Be­ U.S. . . . You bave to think about tbe When asked to resoond to Sal~ado ' s Puerto Rican or Mexican American Le­ cause he has several superior law schools future. Will Latinos continue to be dis­ claims, Dean Williamson said he had no gal Defense Funds, Salgado said he would from which to choose, SalgadO sal<1 his crimillalc:u again:.t?" comment other than that "letters from disgruntled applicants are very com­ rt Below are complete reprints of letters between Ralph Salgado and Acting Dean Williamson ~ mon. " Asked about M-W's minority admissions pattern, WiUiamsononlysaid, Dear Dean WiUiamson: Dear Mr. Salgado: "In my judgement, it is correct and effec­ I am a Latino college graduate who applied to the Marshall-Wythe School I recei ved your letter of April 2 and tive. " of Law this year for admission to the September 1993 entering class, and was regret that you have chosen to interpret Dean Shealy agreed that appeal let­ disconcerted to find out recently that I was denied admission. this school's action on your application ters are not uncommon. She explained I fully realize that most applicants are denied admission due to the small for admission as evidence ofa deliberate that M-W receives roughly 10- 15 letters number of seats available within the entering class. However, in view of my policy of exclusion directed toward per year accusing it of some kind of credentials I find that denial difficult to understand, especially when the Latinos. Nothing could be further from illegal discrimination. Shealy went on to Marshall-Wythe School of Law professes to maintain a commitment to the truth. In addition, many of the comment that she is' 'always concerned" diversity among the student body. The school's actions do not seem to live up assertions contained in your letter are about such accusations, but she is very to its words. simply not supported by the facts, proud of the admissions process and re­ My denial was especially mystifying when compared to the other law including your declaration ofa "paucity sults. schools to which I have been admitted. The University of Pennsylvania, of minority and female faculty According to Shealy, applications for Northwestern University, Boston College, the University of Wisconsin, and the members. " I am confident the seven the Class of I 996 exceeded 3400. Shealy American University, amongst others, have all admitted me to their law schools. female members of our faculty, expects to extend offers to over 600, with In addition, I have been placed on Cornell University's waiting list and placed including the three women of color, a projected entering class of 185. Of on Columbia University's reserve group. At this time, I am still awaiting would disagree with you. tbose applying, 543 (16%) indicated mi­ decisions from Stanford University, the University of Chicago, and New York Nonetheless, your disappointment nority status on their application forms, University. in our action is understandable. You, including 97 HispanicsiLatinos. Of the With this in mind it seems clear that the Marshal 1-Wythe School of Law has along with nearly three thousand other 600 offe rs, 97 ( 17%) went to minority little interest in increasing the number of persons of color within the legal applicants, could not be accommodated students. This fi gure is up from 83 (1 4%) community. This conclusion seems to be supported by the paucity of minority and we very much regret that we are last year. and female faculty members, and by the nearly complete lack of Latinos within unable to offer admission to all, you Salgado urges that it is the compari­ the entire schooL A reading of your law school catalog reveals that not a single included, who are well qualified for law son to other schools which illustrates fa culty member is a Latino, and according to the 199 1 edition of the Official school. You should understand, "M-W's lack of sensitivity to minority Guide to U. S. Law Schools, there are only two Latino students in the entire however, that we are a state-supported needs." While he would not reveal his school! These numbers are very far from the proportion of the Americans, or school and must give preference to GP A or LSA T scores, Salgado argued Vi rginians, that are of Latino origins. From these statistics one might conclude Virginia residents. That fact that his admission to schools much more that there exists a persistent and deliberate policy of exclusion directed toward undoubtedly affected the decision in selecti ve than M-W stands as proof of his Latinos by the Marshal 1-Wythe School of Law. your case. credentials: " Their [the other schools'] It would seem that the Civil Ri ghts revolution has had li ttle effect on the I wish you every success atthe school commitment to di versity is far greater. admissions policies of the Marshall-Wythe School of Law. Pfusca change, plus of your choice. As the Latino population in the US, and c 'est fa meme chose. Richard A. Williamson Virginia in particular, increases dramati­ The message you send to Latinos is loud and clear: Latinos need not apply I Acting Dean and cally 0 er the past few years, we face the ~ Ralph Salgado Chancellor Professor of La~ same opposition and entrenched bureau- 10 ======:======Monday, April 12,1993 THE AMIcus Cu1uAE Ask Anita Free Body Diagram By Jeff Regner Libido

Dear Anita: l i ll" 11111111 1 111 11 111 111 1111111111 1 111 1 111 1 1 1 11111 1 11 1 til l 1 I11I I I I I r I recently went on a first ~. \ {he YOlO date and ha d the most A Get out of traumatic night of my life. Let rderl LA (\dtJ. me give you a few of the more "e. "\bv. ( horrifying details so you can r I sc.hoo EXAM Of a. w -=--~ advise me on what to do. I'll II,.-Ise 0- start by saying that I would eX 0.((15. . . free!!! never have gone out with him (A I 7'0. r - C rrj (\~ : by my own choice; he was a \.... J ~ 1: charity case. No, really, I mean """ember. n:1J . ;l/ .: f' , c.Y'1 .. ~ ~ v o id whe re prohi bited. he was a charity case-I dated r -: Limit o ne p e r customer . - him because of a charity event ~J 11111111 1 11111111111 1 11J.Jj J 1111' IIIII Lli..U l.ll..LLllll..lll UJJ I IIII ' I II [ in which I had to pledge not to object to the date no matter how disgusting a leach he may be. He came and picked me up of obscene T -shirts and -Miffed & Tivvied By calculations of my lunar the hom tooting. You might in this God-awful tank that withdrawal letters from past calendar, an old abacus and strain yourself trying too hard to looked like it belonged on the moot court and appellate Dear Susan: some deviation of the Learned reach your back. The only thing losing end of a chase scene in a argument victims. "Really, I sympathize with what you Hand formula, I realize that more pathetic than this self­ Starsky and Hutch re-run. I've got a key," he kept saying. have gone through. It can't be this is the last issue of the adulation is your belief that you With that car, I expected David Once inside, he began to scare easy. Several avenues may be Amicus. For me and my indeed have friends. Soul not Herve Villechaize me with his maniacal laugh open to you to help deal with the friends, that means the last straight from "Fantasy and his old intramural war problem. You can contribute to chance this school will be Dear Anita: Island." What he lacked in stories. When I refused his the " hit fund" circulating grac.ed with the creative I just wanted to go on the stature, he made up for in advances, he would shove his around school to eliminate the energies of Kevin Kroner, the record as saying that I will in confusing dress. His 1969 lava hand in his shirt and stomp problem once and for all. See paper's fearless leader. My no way miss Mr. Kroner or his lamp, Cream-era shirt was around the office screaming details in Susanna Broaddus's friends and I just wanted this childish antics. He gives law enough to make my head spin. lines from Machiavelli. Thank hanging file. A less violent. opportunity to sing the praises students and humanity in I did not realize that God another student came and approach would be to join of this unique man and his fine general a bad name. If it were according to the charity knocked on the office door. Students Under Kroner Support accomplishments. The paper, up to me, he would have been agreement, our date was to While my date shuffled papers, (SUKS), a support group for all indeed the school, would never booted out of here some time includeonlyasplithamburger I made my break and escaped. of those personally or have been as great as it is now ago. at the student center and two Now he hounds me day and peripherally offended by Kevin if not for Ke\'in. Thank you, - Anti-Kroner quarters for video games. night. He sits outside my Kroner. Meetings are every Kevin. We love you very much. Although after dinner I was window and serenades me with Mondayat8p.m.atAlisaLewis' -Fans Dear 95 percent of the student ready to go, he insisted on smarmy lyrics and apartment. population: sneaking me into the Amicus unidentifiable guitar plucking. Dear Kevin Kroner: Relax. You did the best you office to show me his collection What can I do? Dear Anita: Get over yourself and layoff could.

And you thought your last blind date was from hell • • • By KEVIN KRONER second time because I didn 'ttry anything spread by my lovely companion. last semester. I met a very attractive I am King of the Bad First Date. All on the first date. Details are still sketchy, but I do young woman named Melody on my of my life I have dreamed of being Like a bad credit report, my ill luck recollect the waitress bringing my date's Trial Advocacy jury (after the trial, Fred, completely superior in at least one thing. followed me a thousand miles to College. dinner. When I inquired when my entree after the trial). A group of us went to I sort of hoped it would be something a Freshman year I experienced a nightmare would arrive, I was tersely informed by Paul's Deli following the trial, where I little more desirable. which will go down in history as a Hall of both Courtney and the waitress that I had learned that she had just graduated from I am not sure what exactly is the Fame bad blind date. My hall mate said I would not be dining that evening. College and was applying to grad school problem . Usually, my fust date disasters decided, over my objection, to fix me up Due to my inebriated state, I don't here at W &M--a few years younger than have little to do wi th anything I can with a friend of his. Upon learning her remember engaging in any damage me, but no big deal. control. But, for some reason, the most identity, I discovered she was actually a control beyond asking her if she wanted Over the next few hours I discovered incredibly bizarre things happen on my young lady whom I had been admiring all of her baked potato. that this woml::ll was as charming, initial encounters with the opposite sex. from afar all year, but had never met. Admittedly, not every first date I've humorous and intelligent as she was Perhaps I have not yet emotionally Most men my age would have been been on has been as bad as that one. Many beautiful. Despite all of the work that recovered from my first bad date inspired by such a golden opportunity. I have been comparatively mild; su h as was piling up I decided I had to ask her experience. As a pimply-faced junior in tumed into a sniveling mass of yellow, the half-hour scripture lesson from the out. high school, I mustered up the courage to cowardly Jell-o. Lutheran Pastor while his daughter and I Over wine and dinner we talked and ask out this girl in my Health class. Like Fearing I would show this girl exactly sat side by side on hard wooden chairs in laughed endlessly. After about an hour. a fool , I showed up five minutes early. what an idiot I was, I begged my friend to his offi e. I figured I must have this first-date jinx Since Cindy was not ready yet, I got to cancel. " Relax," he said. " Courtney's Most, however, have been more licked. This was roughly the time she spend some quality time with her Dad. the friendliest girl I know, she gets along severe. Another that comes to mind informed me that she entered college That's when I found out her dad was a with everyone. Just be yourself." I occuredl~-t year. when my 197 Mercury through a gifted and talented program--at Major in the New York State Police. couldn't help wondering if he meant spun out on route 3 in ew Jersey as my the age of 14. I never was very good at He was kind enough to show me his before or after I vomited from a nervous date, Heather, and I returned from an math, but I eventually figured that my extensive gun collection. As he stroked stomach. evening at the Metropolitan. Few things date wasn't 22, but had just tumed I . his pearl handled Smith and \yesson and As the date approached, I wisely in this world snuff out that romantic I spent the rest of dinner wondering sipped his beer, he described how concluded that a little alcohol would feeling like skidding sideways down a how I would explain to parents and the protecti ve he was of his daughter. Major calm me down. In retrospect, 12 shots of crowded, icy three-lane highway at 50 ew York State Bar Examiners why I Dad kept referring to the animal instincts vodka probably excedes the definition of mph. was being comicted ofproviding al ohol of a parent protecting its offspring, even " a little. " As far as the date itself, most Even with all ofthese bad experiences to a minor. It was then that I decided I had at its own peril. This was the only time in of what I know onsists of brief patches over almost ten years of dating, I wasn't truly earned the crown "King of the Bad my life a girl did not go out with me a of memory filled in by the helpful gossip convinced of my royal status until just First Dates." Monday, April 12,1993 THE AMIcus CURIAE ======11 Naugahyde by Bob Dickinson

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Life after law school: learning about law, lottery & lunatics By DAVID ZIEMER said, trying to be diplomatic. " You have Consider, as well, the lottery. Ifyou're income taxes. Accordingly, there's a lot I was sitting in a bar the other day, obviously mistaken me for someone who at the tavern, and someone starts talking less money available. Judges can't afford minding my own business, and talking doesn't think you suffer ITom a severe about what they'll do when, not if, they to randomly select a particular moron with the bartender. Then this idiot down persecution complex. Fuck om" win the lottery, what do you do? If you 're ITom the courtroom and make him the bar, forno discernablereason, starting Then I started thinking. Why, I asked feeling mean, you may tell anecdotes millionaire-of-the-week. I get my nose telling me about the Tri-Lateral myself, can't I just be this honest and about gas stations with signs on the pumps tweaked once in a while, too. So does Commission. Immediately, a protective straightforward with my clients. Several telling customers to please pay for their everybody. That's the price ofliving in wall erected itself around my brain. An of them are at least as insane as this gasoline BEFORE purchasing lottery a society in which people read the comics open mind may be a wonderful thing for barfly, and belligerent and dangerous, as tickets. Most likely, though, you just and sports before Miss Manners. Please some, ormaybeevenmost,people. The well. I realized that I must learn to look for an exit. leavemyoffice, and try notto slip and fall ~ way I see it though, if the state can issue become as sharp and detached at work as Yet as an attorney, you pander to the be fore you reach my ne igh bor' s citations for littering on the highway, I I am in the tavern. It's not easy, though. lottery mentality in your own office. You sidewalk." have the right to take preemptive action Everyone who comes into a lawyer's listen to some schlemiel who's had his Yes, frightening as it may sound, you to keep people ITom throwing garbage office has some tale of persecution and nose tweaked by some tort feasor. must be as serious and discriminating in into my brain. woe. So your guard is down. You want Unfortunately, the schlemiel has spent your professional life as you are in your Immediately, ITom the topic of his to help everyone who comes in. Andyou the last year listening to Dan Quayle personal life. It doesn't seem right, but conversation, I pegged the man as a want to make boat loads of money, too. blame the state ofthe economy on personal you can take my word for it. The price of paranoid, conspiracy freak on the level of The more your client has been screwed, injury lawyers winning million-dollar not doing it is just as severe. Worse, Oliver Stone, Lawrence Walsh and the more money you can make. Thus verdicts for two-dollar injuries like his actually, what with those Rule II whoever coined the phrase "cultural does your greed and your desire to help own. Accordingly, the simian thinks he's sanctions and all. elite." He continued at great length people combine to give you a menagerie won the lottery. T,hank you for reading my column about buying out the Federal Reserve so ofcertified mental patients fora clientele. Do not allow such delusion to take this year. Have fun at Beach Week, and we won't have to pay back the national Some idealists claim that even the placeinyouroffice. Do not allow yourself be sure to participate in the Beer Olympics. deficit. Then he elaborated on how the insane are entitled to legal representation. to be blinded by visions of manna. Just And don't forget to study hard for your transfer ofjobs to Mexico has nothing to This is nonsense. Only the wealthy insane explain, "Listen, the state tort system has exams, if you want to have a client do with cheap labor or lax environmental are entitled to legal representation, and no affiliation with the state lottery board. screening committee keeping a safe laws, but is solely the product of an even that is a rebuttable presumption. I It's financed by working people paying distance between you and the likes of my international banking conspiracy. Finally, don't like crazy people. I never have. insurance premiums, not a dummy tax, in clients, that is. If anyone's summering in I'd had enough. "Listen, butthead," I And I don't want them in my office. which the lower your IQ, the higher your the Midwest, feel ITee to look me up. Collect them all! This week: M- W grads who ),vill never cross the Mason-Dixon line again! More clip tn' save Marshall-Wythe trading cards r'i":":= ::-:-::=-:::::::::::::::::::-::-::1

Dee Cohen Frank Quinn Morgan Smith Brian Titius 12 Monday, April 12,1993 THE AMIcus CuruAE - News ·of the Weird- By BILL MADIGAN 4. "Do you bang?" 5. "Are you ~~t CW1([ and Qrestament HOMELESS NO MORE. .. in?" The answers, according to The graduating stafI and editors of the Amicus, being of not so sound mind or body, appoint Police in Bogota, Columbia, said the magazine, are: 1. "Don't the remaining rising I Ls, 2Ls and future unnamed soon-to-l»Ls as executors and executrices of security guards ata university in move or you're dead." 2. this our last will and testament and hereby make small and bequest the following, to be given at Barranquilla lured street people "Something is flying toward .their whimsy to: into campus buildings, killed you. " 3. " Raise your hands and Dean Williamson: A real job. them and sold the bodies to the spread your legs." 4. " Are you Dean Kaplan: A lot of jobs. university' s medical school a gang member?" 5. " Are you Library Staff: Coke spill the size of the Exxon Valdez accident. (Washington Post). a member oforganized crime?" Library Patrons: Any rights we have to our confiscated contraband. THE FAX OF LIFE . . . People This and other magazines at­ Prof. Moliterno: A new razor or ajob as a CIA operative as Castro's double. who want to plant notes to God tempt to provide Japanese tour­ Gloria Todd: Pay and recognition worthy of her importance. in the Wailing Wall can now do ists tips on survival while in the Prof. Lederer: A new wardrobe and an industrial-strength can of compassion so he can properly it by fax . Every day hundreds of United States. Japanese tourists grade next year's evidence exams. notes seeking divine interven- have tended to be targeted by Prof. Selassie: New World's Anthology of American Metaphors.and Their Meanings. tion are stuffed in cracks in the pickpockets and con men in Prof. Devins: A Raiders Starter jacket to match his hat so he can be cool while hangin' with his wall in Jerusalem, Judaism 's American cities and airports. crew in the 'hood. holiest shrine. Faxes sent to a Aera , another widely read maga­ Law Review: A lower admission standard and lower sense of self-importance. number the national telephone zine, published a list of travel Moot Court: Judges for Bushrod who are competent, tolerant and not ego-maniacal. company has set up will be tips for those who must venture Prof. Smolla: Hasbro's Toy Voodoo Set which includes a head sbrinker. brought to the wall by an em- into American cities. It notes Prof. Butler: A new I L property exam that neither tortures the mind nor the hand. ployee, company spokesman that Americans asking for Prof. LeBel: Another pennant in Minnesota and a job as team designated driver. Zecharia Mizrotzky said. The "coke" may not always be re­ Prof. Marcus: Stories: that are actually funny and/or entertaining. fax number is 0Il -972-2- ferring to a soft drink. It also Prof. Rosenberg: A new Legalines that matches the edition that he teaches from. 6l2222. It is nottoll-free (Asso- warns that, in the United States, Prof. Gerhardt: A date. ciated Press). knocking on the door ofa stall in Prof. Devins: A crew. FAST FOOD FEAST FOR a public restroom could be taken Prof. Heilig: The ABA's Exam Grading Kit guaranteed to speed up the return of grades to FIDO ... Jackie Zajac and her as an invitation to homosexual students. (Flight of stairs and ability to throw not included). friend, Sheila Mullan, have sex. (Washington Post). Prof. Grover: The hopes that her ability to genuinely care about students as people rubs off a opened Fido's Fast Food, the HARD CASES MAKE BAD little on her colleagues. only drive-through for pets in LA W . . . Rock music sculptress Prof. Schaefer: A sense of direction so as to lead his class. the Toledo, Ohio, area (though Cynthia Plaster Caster, who cre­ CW Tourists: See Prof. Schaefer. there are others in the country). ates plaster-of-paris models of Parking Services: Several well-placed bullets through their collective heads. " My dog gave me the idea," rock stars' sex organs, has been OCPP: Employers wl~ o are actually looking to hire students and who aren't just keeping up Zajac said. "Iwouldgothrough battling music mogul Herb appearances. a drive-through, and he would Cohen over ownership of25 of Center for State Courts: A muzzle to keep them from whining about cutting through their lobby, sit there and stare at me jeal- her gems, including Jimi . using their parking spaces and walking on their lawn. ously. Sowethoughtdogsshould Hendrix's. Last year, several Marshall-Wythe: A Dean that we actually want. have their own restaurant." bands in Chicago staged a ben­ Fido's opened in a former efit concert ("Hard Aid") to Fotomat booth. Cheeseburgers, pay legal fees. (Daily Press). self in the head, but the bullet school's mascot: a lumbeIjack. girls' mouths as they were un­ french fries, and peanut-butter AND TO THINK THEY passed through him and killed a Humboldt is located near tim- dergoing dentaiwork. InDavis' bagels are on the menu. The BANNEDCATCHERINTHE friend who was trying to talk berlandsinNorthemCalifornia. pockets were 20 driver's licenses food is dried, so a cheeseburger RYE . .. In San Francisco, a him out of it. (Daily Press). Seems lumbeIjacks are " out- that had been reported missing­ is crunchy, like a cracker (Asso- neighborhood library provided DINGLE DOODLE .. . A Cin- dated, sexist and no longer rep- -19 of them belonging to fe­ ciated Press). free meeting space for two years cinnati surgeons' groulP was resentatives of our views of the males who wear, or did wear, TOURIST TERROR TESTS to the North American Man-Boy asked to investigate complaints ecosystem. " (Reason). braces. Said Aurora Police Chief TOKOYO ... "Learn these Love Association, an organiza- that the chief surgeon at a TOOTH IS STRANGER Steve Poling, there is " some­ English words--or die!" reads tion of pedophiles who say they Shriner's hospital drew "happy THAN FICTION ... Mark J. thing weird going on here." the headline in Japan's Sunday are oppressed by laws banning faces" on patients' sex organs Davis, 28, was charged with try- (Daily Press). Mainichi magazine. The publi- the seduction of children. (Wash- during surgery. (Post). ing to break into a dentist's of- BABY GOT BACK ... A cation then provides a quiz: Do ington Post). I'M A LUMBERJACK AND fice in Aurora, Ohio. In his van Florida county seeking to ban you know the meaning of the SEE IF I TRY TO HELP HIM I'M OK ... At California's police found dental tools and skimpy bikinis drafted an ordi­ following language heard on the AGAIN ... Joseph R. Shatley, Humboldt State University, stu- orthodontic devices, and in his nance containing a J36-word streets ofAmerica ? 1. " Freeze!" 22, committed suicide in Lex- dent activists have asked for a home in Willoughby, Ohio, they legal definition of " buttocks." 2. "Duck!" 3. " Spread them." ington, N.C., by shooting him- vote on a measure to replace the found enlarged photographs of (Washington Post). r----;:;----I r---:o;:----! r---~r::----! r----D;e-----I Brian can'twaitto get back I I Morgan so loves the night I Frank longs for the style, I Dee will be the first to tell I to the midwest and real I I life here in Virg inia that she grace and dignity of the you that the East Coast I America. "I'msosickofthese I I has traveled to Massachu- American Northeast. "In the doesn't compare to the Left I cotillion havin ', foreign pick- I I setts to find a decent dance Northeast people take pride Coast. "When I applied, Faye I up truck drivin', big belt I I club. The Cotton-Eyed Joe, in the rich history but down Shealy assured me that the I buckle wearin', slow talkin', I I the Achey-Breaky Shuffle here people either act like Navy boys in Via Beach were I broken appliance on the front I I and the Two Step are not her the civil war didn't happen or as oily and hot as the weight- I porch havin ', south wi ll rise I I ideas of entertainment. "I'm that it never ended." The Ivy liftersandsurfersfromVenice I again advocatin ', tObacco : : not trying to say that there halls of Camb ri d ~ e beckon Bea~h. Those military g u~s : chewin', country mu sic I I isn't a decent club scene on Frankbac~fro~thl s Nouveau are either too ugly, too stupid I listenin', cousin marryin', I I the Peninsula. You could go Appalachian nlghtr,nare. The or both. And t~ e y .are all I truck pu ll watchin', home I I to ... Well there's uh .. '. And South does prOVide some related. 1m consldenng su- I shopping club buyin', Elvis I rum ... Well, I guess you're intellectual stimulus: "What ing for fraudulent misrepre- I 10_------_worshippin'. . . 01I 10_------_I right. This place sucks! 01 10 exactly___ i--s a grit,______anyway?" 01 10se--ntation---- of material-- fact."---01 I Monday, April 12,1993 THE AMIcus CURIAE 13 Best of the Best & Most of ~he Most: ~ 3L superlatives The Amicus proudly presents these annual awards in recognition of the Drink himself into a stupor: Frank Quinn special qualities setting each member of the Class of '93 apart from the others. Win a class action suit for GM against Honda: Brian Titus Most Likely to: Become a member of Hairclub For Men: Ronnie Clay Have his own harem: Bryan Bonner Still be playing video games in the Amicus Office: Bob Dickinson Own and drive a monster truck: Jody Anderson Criticize opposing counsel's wardrobe in court: Morgan Smith Become an overweight couch potato: Jimmy Entas Become brewmaster for Anheuser Busch: Joel Wurster Work as a major league batboy: Eric Chasse Die if Auburn ever wins a national championship: Tobin Roth Accuse Pat Buchanan ofbeing a liberal pantywaist (tie): Jay Dugger and Bill Wilder Set up dummy corporations for New York's Gambino family: Chris Knopp Appear on an episode of "Studs": Sean Wells Prosecute him for it: Kelly Barrett Host the outdoor show "Hooterville Fishin''': Tim Kirtner Be involved in a sex scandal on the Kennedy Estate: Chris Smith Practice his golf swing more than law: Tom Book Not remember what she did the night before: Jen Rademacher Have her own Gold-By-The-Inch franchise: Missy Callahan Be killed by an appellate advocate the first day on the bench: Richard Hricik Open her own personal 900 number: Alisa Lewis Keep talking: Andrew Basham Bill 24 hours everyday forever: Megan Burns Receive sanctions for whining to ajudge: Dan Hogans Practice Bicycle Law: Chuck Devoe Spontaneously combust due to stress: Greg Dale Be fined by the Revenuers for owning a still: Jubal Miller Become spokesperson for the" Save the East Appalachian Reflecting Snail Darter" Become a tatoo artist: Bill Fitzpatrick campaign: Andrea Jones Release an album: Lynn McHale Coach and date the Notre Dame football team: Caroline Berrettini Be killed by his fellow associates: James Creekmore Serve tea and crumpets at a negotiation: Heather Sue Ramsey Become a DJ at the JWlction Cafe: Kevin Kroner Father the next Albert Einstein: Kevin Oliveira Take over the Whoopi show as host: Lisa Nicholson Be accused by ajudge of being a Southern Belle: Tammy Moss Quote lines from "Ren and Stimpy" to a judge: Paul Possinger StilI miss every jump shot he takes: Vic Miller Teach Criminal Law and Procedure: Joe Quigley File a restraining order against an insane ex-girlfriend: Paul Phillips Be cited for contempt by raising his voice to ajudge, jury, bailiff, etc.: Pat Connolly Be forced to tolerate the ridiculous ideas of intellectual inferiors: Dennis Nagel Become a championship skeet shooter and miniature golfer: Dave Dalke Crack the defense department computers and launch the missiles: Nick Sylvain Quit everything and assume a new identity in Belize: Rob Church Continue to cruise College DeIly looking for undergrads: Maarty Sengers To hold his own press conferences after every court appearance: Joe Somerville Become Chief Justice of Traffic Court: Susanna Broaddus Practice law from a bar stool: Joe English Attend Sigma Nu parties: Mike Vadner Cite the Dead Sea Scrolls in a brief: John Koehler Be told to hurry up and get to the point: Tom Diggs Kiss ass all the way to partner: Scott Browning Express an incomprehensible opinion: Norman Waara Be the powerbroker in Mussel Shoals, Alabama: Joe Cartee Support her house husband: Lauren Schaefer Talk more about gossip than Joan Rivers: Lisa Brook Be a house husband: Scott Conover Wear a t-shirt and shorts in front of a judge: Mike DeBaecke Keep every dime he makes in his mattress: Cliff Corker Become a "Good Ole Boy": T.J. Hooper Become a disgruntled postal worker: Mike McVicker Never pass a basketball to anyone: Mark Vann Play bass for Murph & the Magictones at the Fort Magruder Inn: Tim Hui Open a men's clothing store: Brett Jobnson Be abducted by aliens: Pat Norman Be carded by a judge: Jonathan Belcher Die from terminal righteous indignation: Maura Henry Marry Jeff Spiccoli: Dee Cohen Publish law school manuals with the use of a ghost writer: Matt Rea Wear platform to shoes to court: Sean Hogle Not have a gay houseboy named Cato: Peter Dutton Appear scantily clad in a music video: Jacalyn Scott and Karen Hale Be arrested on the beach for vagrancy: Sean Sell The Band Box Overrate his importance: Grant Nelson Stockpile large armaments at his cult headquarters: John Lohmann Be called by Fred Lederer when he needs his dry cleaning picked-up: Julius Rothstein Rents Movies Steal credit from her co-workers: Pam Merlis Have arm surgery as the result of chronic hand raising: Susan Korzick Be cited by the Intergalactic Police for wandering aimlessly: Sonya Spielberg It's a good deal on good movies.

In addition 10 having gTeat prices and selection on compact discs and tapes, the Band Box rents movies. We've gOI the besl of the new releases and a very NOBODY interesting catalog. We've tried 10 select good movies--titles that you might KNOWS not fmd everywhere, ranging from classic to obscure. We're convenient 10 -the downtown area, located just one block: froin Mer­ LIKE chant Square and the CoUege. Drop in at lunch, or after work. We're open until DOMINO'S. 9:00, Monday through Saturday, and Sunday, 12:00-?:OO. Return movies in our How You Like Pizza At Home. drop box if you wish. Video memberships are free. Local Tesidents and students just need 2 ac­ CALL US! 229-8885 cepled LD.s and a home phone number. If you're at a conference at W&M, be ------, SUTe to bring your conference card and an LD. I Regular movie rentals are S 1.91. If you rent 2 movies you may choose a I 3rd for only 69¢ plus get an extra day. EDIUM 1 TOPPING LARGE 1 TOPPING I ruE ...... I AND 2 FREE COKES I AND 4 FREE COKES I I $6.99 I call now for a medium : Rece~~~ :;e pizza ~ : one topping pizza and your favorite topping and 4 I BAND BOX I 2 FREE cokes or diet I FREE cokes or diet Cokes I Cokes for only $6.99 I for just $9.99 I v "..-..' .. ""'. ....,...... -.... , ...r. I orr. ~ .. :tal''''.''' ~ pI,.t ru .. . 1: wk...... I wuc.w.. 0..1...... , I r.t umWd 10 tu:tt R C. 'flYI:.t ~ro!nv ""'I c L'1"l'tcndu ; S lO..oo Cad,,, cIl201:. ,,": I • 4:n...,..u'_ptnh:«lr«""'dd.... mer.~1991COoao· 1 I !'i=t.IK 17 Prince George St. 229-8974 THE AMIcus CuIuAE Arts & Entertainment Monday, April 12, 1993 14

, . Glutton for punishment B-Movie guy returns; wraps up year with meager half case By ALAN DUCKWORTH movies are the thing. known performers in it. Luke of the Kickboxers, much less Basically, the cast is filled Alright, you may have no­ Time Runner: This is a high Skywalker, I mean Mark Hamill, seen it. But when I heard about with newcomers. Reese ticed that I did not have a column budget B-movie. Actually, it is is Our Hero. He perfornls ad­ this movie, I had to see it. The Madigan does a good job, con­ in the last issue of the Amicus. better than some of the movies equatel y, ifnot outstanding. The latest in a long line of karate sidering the cliche nature of the (Or, judging from the reaction, that get released in the theaters. good alien and Our Hero's love tournament movies, starting with character, playing Drew Carson. you might not have.) I first want (SeeHomeAlone2: Lost in New interest is played by Rae Dawn The Karate Kid and running No one else in the movie is worth to dispel any rumors that Kevin, York for proof of this assertion.) Chong. Her performance is not through Bloodsport and going mentioning. That actually as­ acting in a petty dictatorial way, But let's get to the actual movie. as good as Hamill's. But what on to infinity. This movie in­ sumes that Madigan is worth killed my column for my earlier The plot is fairly involved. else could be expected from volves a karate contest between mention; I am not sure that he is suggestion that he has no social The movie starts in the year 2024. Tommy' s daughter. Th,e best a kickboxer and a . . . monk? worth mentioning. life. Since this is an empirical Our hero is aboard the Space performance in the movie is by Brilliant! But, before I run out of There are a number of good fact, he did not take offense. Station Friendship. During the the alien who is president of the space, let's get specific. fighting scenes. Some of the Instead, I have spent the last final battle of an alien invasion Earth. The role is played by The plot starts with a karate best do not involve either of the two weeks under mental obser­ of Earth, the station is blown up, Brion James, a career villain. tournament. The movie high­ principals, but the other Shaolin vation. Shortly after finishing but not before our hero escapes The movie has several things lights the collision course be­ monks. For the movie's sake, it my client B memo, one of my and flies through a wormhole right with it. The SUPPOIt cast, tween two of the contestants, is convenient that everyone in friends heard me remark that I back to the present. In the full ofno-names , are pretty good, Drew Carson and Trevor China wants to fight at the drop had enjoyed writing the memo. present, we discover the aliens from the evil alien stalking Our Gottitall. In the final, Trevor of a hat. The best fight scene While this statement caused him have already begun infiltrating Hero to the hapless human who beats and humiliates Drew. By involves the Shaolin drill ser­ to fear for my sanity, it was not our planet. (l guess that explains is helping Our Hero. the way, Trevor is the vicious geant chara ter. He uses a six­ until later that day that he called Fred Lederer.) One good alien Also the special effects are bad guy character in this movie. foot beaded necklace to tie up a for the men in white. The call helps our hero as he tries to excellent. Not T2 quality, but Drew decides to become a number (6 to 8) of opponents was made after he heard me say, change the future. memorable none the less. Fi­ Shaolin Fighting Monk, so he while fighting them. Very cool. and I quote, "1 love Legal Simultaneously (or actually nally, and most surprisingly, travels to China. Eventually, he The plot is a series of cliches Skills. " 32 years later), several scientists there were no major holes in the begins his training and after a that nothing could save. The Naturally, I was committed are trying to get access to some plot line. This, of course, is a long time, begins to understand acting is ok, but nothing special. immediately. It is amazing what rockets which will stop the inva­ major accomplishment. Forthis, the teaching. It is the basic fish The fights are what come closest can be done with drugs these sion once and for all. The Presi­ and all other reasons, I give this out of water story. I won't tell to saving this movie. On their days. After several weeks on dent of the United World stops movie 4 beers. anymore of the plot, except that basis alone, I give this movie anti-psychotic drugs, I run once them, at which point we learn A>Hcncan Shaulin: King uflhe eventually Drcw beat Trevor in cight beers. again the malcontent I was born that he is an alien. Now I have Kickboxers II: This movie marks a fight. I figured if I didn't tell I would say that I will see you tobe. Andlarnbackwritingmy ruined the movie's big surprise. me as breaking one of my cardi­ you that fact, all of you would at the video stores, but this is my colunm. So, I guess at least for Shame on me. I guess I will stop nal rules: Never see a sequel run right out and rent the video, last column of the year. Sohave me, the story has a happy end­ my plot summary here. without first seeing the original. using your valuable study time a nice summer, and good-bye ing. Well, enough about me, the The cast has several well I have never even heard of King to discover the ending. Kevin. No parting shots. The Crush surprises viewers witJh simple, entertaining plot By STEVEN YOUNGKIN out from the commercials. Cary Elwes After the fmal battle, when the psycho is ter of Darian, taking her beyond the sim­ I guess it just goes to show what (T7le Princess Bride) portrays a 28-year­ down, she stays down. plistic. Silverstone made Darian more happens when you have no expectations. old reporter for a chic magazine who In addition to avoiding the cliches, human than expected. She transfonned After suffering through The Temp and rents a room in a beautiful guest house. writer-director Alan Shapiro manages to her character from a run of the mill Consenting Adults, I believed the" crafty The first day he moves in, he meets his fill in all of the possible plot holes. It's as psychotic into a young girl blinded by psycho" genre had been completely used landlords' l4-year-old daughter Darian i fhe has watched the other movies, taken obsession and delusion. up. I was convinced that after Fatal (Alicia Silverstone). She immediately note of the implausibilities and eradi­ I ha e to be careful not to overpraise Attraction, The Hand That Rocks the develops a crush on him. As she attempts cated them in his story before they devel­ the movie. It is apparent that while Alan Cradle, Cape Fear, Single White Fe­ various means of seduction, he keeps oped. In particular, the scene prior to the Shapiro did not intend to rip off the Amy male, and Pacific Heights, there was not resisting. He points out their age differ­ finale sets up the climax and prevents the Fisher story (the similarities seem to be much left to do. I was even more con­ ence, but she keeps trying anyway. Even­ audience from complaining about absur­ more coincidental than purposeful), he vinced that any hope ofbeing entertained tually, she becomes obsessive and at­ dity. did not intend to make high art either. He by this type of film was forever lost. tempts to remove everyone she is con­ In addition to the story, the perfor­ wanted only a quick, effi ient, entertain­ As a result, when I first saw the ads for vinced is standing between her and the mances are also better than expected. ing money maker. Within those narrow The Cmsh, I quietly moaned and wrote it reporter, including her best friend and the Cary Elwes and Alicia Silverstone are confines he succeeded. off as another contender for the Worst reporter's girl friend (Jennifer Rubin). especially good. They had the tough job Would I re ommend a person to skip Movie ofthe Year award. I only went to While the plot is extremely familiar of convincing us that this story could ever T7le Crying Game, Ull/orgiren or Falling see it because nothing else of any interest (imagine Glenn Close as a 14-year-old possibly occur. Elwes' character does Down for this? Never, those are much had opened that weekend. But about half and you have Darian), it is actually played make a few mistakes in the beginning of better movies. They aim higher and way through the movie, I found, to my out in an interesting st Ie . What is sur­ the movie, but they are reasonable and achieve more. The CnJsh, though, would amazement, that I was actually enjoying prising is not what the mo\ie does but belie\·able, and he does surprisingly act more than satis a person looking for a it. I expected them to completely screw what it does not do. It does not su wnb rational ly in the second half. Even though somewhat mindless movie to fill a Satur­ up (like what happened in The Temp) at to the typical psycho cliches. For e .­ his '. ....; acter is basi ally one dimen­ da night. It i~ a film that remembers that any moment, but they never did. While ample, it completely omits the "fake si011al. he manages to bring some cred­ movies don t have to be important and it will hardly win any awards for great death scene" ending. This is the scene i bility tOl the part and draws the viewer in. thought provoking, the can just be enter­ movie making, it is, nevertheless, an where after the climatic battle, the psy ho Ali ia Silwrstonc also de serYe s redit taining. While I \\ill always welcome the efficiently well made film. appears to be dead, but all of a sudden -x making the movie work. Instead of important mo\-ies, I 'Will also support The plot itself is a cross between Fatal rises up and strikes one last time. T7le portraying a standard B-movie villain­ films like T7le Cmsh whi h are fun and Attraction and Lolita and can be figured Cntsh is gratefully free of this scene. tS-, sh creates sympathy for the charac- nothing more. Monday, April 12,1993 THE A~cus CURIAE 15 It's Not Only Rock & Roll . , Lawyers, guns, and money: Ice-T and anarchy in the U.S. By PHIL NUGENT Ice-Tis neither the poet laureate of TV how L.A. is gearing up for a new longer sentences for drug dealers. Talk In response to the recent Bill of our generation nor the devil incarnate. I round ofriots as if it were the Super Bowl. about a loaded question. The troopers Rights Symposiwn on ro k, rap and the do think Ice-T is a slimeball, but he's no The press earnestly reports on the training were testifying in Richmond on the subject First Amendment, I was going to review different from half the producers in exercises of the different factions. The and needed to raise money to do so. I the new albwn by DigabJe Planets, Hollywood who put equally horrific, Korean storeowners are buying guns at responded yes, I supported taking a bite Reachin' (a new refutation of time and degrading trash on our nation' s movie record rates in order to protect their out of crime. space) . to demonstrate that rap is not a and T screens. They're all just telling property, the mili tary' s armored personnel I really wanted to say that longer four-letter word. You'lljust have to trust it like it is, exercising their First carriers are already in the city and who sentences are not the answer. I've visited me that it's a cool albwn. by a jazzy trio Amendment rights and becoming knows wbat else is going on by otbers the federal jail at Petersburg, and those who refer t themselves as interplanetary miUionaires in the pro ess. But their eagerly anticipating this year's verdicts. guys are living better than most ofthe rest insects, and who make music in the best. work should not be banned. Has it occurred to anyone, besides the of us. In fact, the jail resembles a hip-hop, upbeat traditi n of Arrested Instead, perhaps some attention should rest of the world, that we've all gone community college. They've got social Development and Soul II ouI. But. dear be paid to why there's such ahuge market crazy? Is open warfare in the streets clubs, televisions, weight rooms, pool readers, our regularl y s heduled in this country for depictions of murder. becoming just another fact of Ii fe in this tables, amusic room with electric guitars programming ,viII not be seen today. F r And don't teU me that there's no difference country? A serial drive-by shooter in and even a karaoke machine. You think as Jim Morrison on e said. ' 'This is the between Falling Down, the new Michael D.C.; an armed cult in Waco: and a nation they're hurting? They look a lot happier end." And to close out my tenure as Douglas movie about aguy who has a bad of I3-year olds who would just as soon than do many people on the outside. No music correspondent for the AmiclIs, allow day and starts shooting people by the kill you as give you the time of day. Hey, wonder the recidivist rate is so higb. me a few '>\fords about the end ofthe world dozen, and Hamlet, that's Shakespeare, that's just the way it is. When I moved to Sorry, new jails are not the anS\l,:er. Our as we know it. for those of you cleaning your assault tbe 'Burg in 1989, the nightly news in country's going bankrupt building $50 "Got to get political/Political I got to ri fles and fantasizing about Armageddon. Norfolk was refreshingly less bloody than million jails, and I don't like paying for get." -- Arrested Development Professor Nowak made a good point that in D.C. Over the past four years, some felon' s music lessons while I'm After tbe Bill of Rights Symposium at the Sympo-ium that the link between however, that violence gap has radically struggling to make rent. ended, I spoke with the President of the violent mediaand violence against women narrowed. So far, Williamsburg remains "Those who make peaceful revolutions National Association of Chief- of Police. should be closely studied. When I see relatively calm. Give it a few years. impossible will make violent revolutions He had argued for the censorship of rap, fi e-yearold kids at the ideo store raving On tbe positive side, Governor Wilder inevitable." -- John Fitzgerald Kennedy su h as that performed by I e-T, which he about the latest slasber flick, it 's skillfully maneuvered tbrough tbe So, wbat can be done? Give a damn. felt resulted in an increase in cop killings. impossible to believe that they are not legislature some long-needed controls 011 That's tbe first step. There's an old I asked him about ills position on gun getting desensitized to ever-increasing gun purchases in this state. But tbe truth Sixties slogan that ifyou 're not part of the control, and he proudly declared that he levels of violence. Whatever happened of the matter is that they will hardly be solution, you're part of tbe problem. If was strongly committed to the Second to Winnie Th e Pooh? As for those who worth the paper they are printed on in the you run off to a corporate law office to ~ . Amendment right to gun o'>Vllership. I claim that watching violence helps to rid attempt to curb crime. There are just too spend your life helping Union Carbide didn't get a chance to ask him whether people of their own aggression, take a many guns too easily available to too evade environmental regulations, you're that extended to assault ri fles on demand look arolUld, buddy, it ain't working. many people. Some food for thought part of the problem. Don't say that for all, and nuclear weapons available We've always been a violent nation, from Handgun Control, Inc.: In 1990, somebody has to do it, orthat your student without a waiting period but otherwise but it seems as ifwe are getting worse. As handguns killed 22 people in Great Britain, loans give you no choice. Those are poor he made himself clear. I'm not sure ifhe we approach April 29, the anniversary of 87 in Japan, and 10,567 in the United excuses for shutting out the problems of saw the irony of his position. Listen up, last year' s "not guilty" verdicts in the States. the world as you dri ve past in your BMW. because I'm only going to say tIllS once: Rodney King trial and the resulting riots, The other day, I received a call from Change for the better is possible and it is Lyrics don 't Ifill people, guns do. things are looking real ugly. We see on tbe State Police, asking if I supported worth working for. Indian Fields: A good place for a double date or grad dinner ByJANETBRECKENltlDGE food." "Weird" refers perhaps dish, and was disappointed to salty entree. Dinner is accompa­ that the bourbon sauce was a bit Welcome back to this year­ to the appearance ofgame meats. discover that the duck had been nied by homemade white bread strong, but I really enjoyed it. end issue ofour beloved A miclls. I was disappointed to frnd that smoked so that it tasted like ham. so soft and fresh, I felt com­ The Tavern was packed, even It ' s time to bury our heads in the menu was fairly typical of Because I am not a big shrimp pelled to stuff myself on it. considering that our reservations books, study aids, notes, jwlk any expensive, touristy, Virginia fan, I do not feel qualified to Another first in my review­ were for 7:30, and the loud con­ food, video games, coffee, beer restaurant. For example, tbe comment on that part ofthe dish. ing experience: We tried the versation oftbe surrounding din­ and other resources law students entree specials were grilled The pasta was fettucine sau­ desserts and as far as I'm con­ ers made it a little difficult to turn to at tills frazzled time of the mahi-mahi and tuna, and there ted with garlic. While it was cerned, illt the jackpotl I or­ have an intimate dinner for two. year. were very few unusual offer­ good, I felt that some sauce would dered the chocolate bourbon There apparently was a bar I am proud to say that this ings. This is not to say that the have livened it up. The dish did pecan pie, which was excellent, week, for the first time, I did not variety of food was not enticing, contain some cooked apple slices and my date had bread pudding See FEED ME, page 20 pay for tbe meal which is the but I guess my expectations were which was a nice contrast to the with bourbon sauce. He thought subject of my review. My dinner pretty high. The menu does was bought for me by my date, offer a complete variety of meat Thank -,'{)u Manhall­ whose name I WILL not men­ entrees, including Iamb, veal, In appreciation for all your support and tion. We dined in Charles City, steak, duck, chicken, etc., sort of patronage during our ftrst year of business, a town willch makes the ' Burg a meat lovers extravaganza. ~ - - Ct:llner- look like D.C., at lovely Indian After beginning with a house The Vocket cordially invites you for Fields Tavern. salad and very nice white wine, we tried the pork tenderloins and The Tavern is an old, con­ An ~venin!! ()' r=.-ee 1)001 verted farm house, resembling pasta with duck breast and an ion, with a long porch run­ shrimp. My date ordered the Wednesday~ APril 14th pork and found it to be very ning the length of the building, As our way of saying thanks hardwood floors and all tbe other tender, well cooked and not at markings of a colonialism with all fatty. It was prepared with Show your 10 and play pool on us from 6p.m.-1 a.m. which we are oh-so-familiar. cooked pear slices and served Appropriate Attire Required I heard through the grape­ with fresh steamed vegetables 220-0808 vine that the menu at the Tavern that were cooked al dente, per­ Williamsburg Crossing included 'weird but good fectly so. I ordered the pasta 16 Monday, April 12,1993 THE A\.ilCUS CuRIAE ---- Correction The World AIDlanac®Crossword This is not Ka

ACROSS DOWN

1 12, lIoman 1 lIedieal 4 Launchh'g pictur. sit, 2 Small 7 lIoce.lln qlW1~ty 10 tt.lian 3--Il10 capital IIoodlor 12 01 hoarIng love organs 4 Cur1y41aired 14 era dogl 15 Himalayan 5 From -­ plant Z 16 Eug ... 6 Quick lunch O'Heill'1 plaee daughter 7 EI-, T,ul 17 R.g"d 8 lI.turing 18 PuIlod (II.) agent 20 Biblical 9 Fair grad. witch'l 11 Igloo buildor hom. 13 Candy - 22 Uncouth 19 ShadolrHl 24 DoIlf1 Fox 21 CoIIog. dog. 26 lIon.y 23 Plant opening dl ..... 30 Larg. 24 DluJplttd ltatutl man 31 CoIlK~ on 01 25 Eorthenwar. lacts jar 32 Actor 27 Tardy Brynnor 28 UnulUlI 33 Transplant· porson (II.) ed 29 Sma" child 25 (el 1992 by NEA, Inc. 37 PrKioul 30 Aclr ... 39 Roar Chan... 40 Slruclur. 01 34 Perched tho body An..... to Pre.Jou. Puu1e 35 Egyp~an 43 City in Utah danc... 42 1IIount.tin 'Ur;"rol F R I a E U L A 45 Took 36 Aviation ~r:-r:- rang. EIDEIIILr!:-L 49 Forolt god 38 Radio~on 43 Kor .. lood ~~~ 50 Improwelar>- 8 U C CAN E E II NNE measure 44 Flying guag.ol crutur. o N H 0 L D 0 V ATE 52 Hilt 01 41 H.w" (pooL) 46 - H.tional _E S T D A L I pheasants . Park 53-- IF U STY 0 II LAN D 0 47 HoYOliat IA L T A. ERE U II D IlindlH" Forbtr 54 Advi .. 48 Prolound "II'. I!!I~'" a • A II I D 55 l.ft 4!1 Soft lood IE X ACT E D II A • P a The Amicus mistakenly identified this picture of Erin 56 How. ~m. 51 lI"nogo _HEllO OIlE_ 57 Turf wow (2 wdl.) Brewster, (I L) as Kammy Wilson. The Amicus apologizes 58 SI1ortll ..p ~~:IA:OL=:~~~~ for any domestic disputes between Kammy, Erin and their N ~ S E It 0 T E A r:- IE'T~..;- respective boyfriends caused, by the mistake. Q ~.!. a A • Ell!.!..!!. a~ an's spirits & sports : Come Enjoy Great Food and A Great Time At O'Callaghan's Listen to Live Entertainment, Shoot a Game of Darts, And Watch Your Favorite Sports On Our 10 Foot TV Screen 20% Discount (excluding alcohol) with ID Live Entertainment Wide Screen Football Every Thursday: Live ~azz with Baseball season has started! ~atural Ijlend Come watch your favorite teams on our Wide Screen TV. Every Friday and Saturday: Most events televised. Live Ijands Check local listings for game times . . Located at 4854 Longhill Rd, at the corner of Longhill and Oide Town Rds. In the Oide Town Square Shopping Center 229-6910 or 229-6821 Open everyday from llam 'til 2am THE AMICUS CuruAE Events Calendar Monday, April 12,1993 17

Monday, April 12 Friday, April 23 BOOM: Confederate Army shells Fort Sumter S.C., 1861 Last Day of Classes! Law School Organizations: Registrations Due Tattoo: Happy Birthday to Herve Villechaize, 1943. Cutler Lecture: Frank Michelman, 3:30 p.m., law school rm 124. Spring Concert: Choir and Chorus, PBK, 8:15 p.rn. General Admission $4. For information, call ext. 11085. Tuesday, April 13 Five and Ten Cent: Happy Birthday to F.W. Woolworth, 1852. Saturday, April 24 Jefferson's 250th Birthday Lecture: Paul Carrington will speak on "Jefferson's I'm a little verklempt: Happy Birthday to Barbara Steisand, 1942. Vision ofa Law School", 3:30 p.rn. Spring Concert: Choir and Chorus, PBK, 8: 15 p.m. General Admission $4. Music: Firehose, at the Flood Zone. For information, call ext. 11085. Music: Merle Saunders with Rare Daze, at Pepperment Beach Club. Wednesday, April 14 Headache: Lincoln assasinated at Ford's Theatre, 1865 . Sunday, April 25 Financial Aid: 8 a.m., in Dean's Conference Room Journalist, idol: Happy Birthday to Edward R. Murrow, 1908. Spring Concert: Botetourt Chamber Singers, Wren Chapel, 2 p.rn. Free. Thursday, April 15 Wendy and Emery Reves Lecture: "Beyond Terms of Trade: The Broader Nice Horsey: Catherine I (the Great) born 1684. Social and Political Implications ofAmerican Economic Integration:' Jorge G. Mind that iceberg, Captain: Titanic sinks in North Atlantic, 1912. Casteada, Mexican national and visiting fellow, Woodrow Wilson School, Town & Gown Luncheon: Robert Wilburn, president, Colonial Williamsburg Princeton University, CC Ballroom, 6:30 p.m. Foundation, CC ballroom, 12:15 p.m. W&M Theatre: " Death of a Salesman," PBK, 8: 15 p.m. Box office opens Monday, April 26 April 5,th ext. 12674. Commencement Tickets Available: through May 5, James Blair, 2nd Floor. Music: Toad the Wet Sprocket, at W&M Hall. Conference: "Literacy and the American Worker: Implication for Public Policy," sponsored by The Thomas Jefferson Program in Public Policy. Friday, April 16 Continues through April 27. Opening session April 26, PBK, Dodge Room, I'm back: Lenin returns to Russia, just in time for Bolshevik revolution. 9 a.m. For information. call ext. 12388. Reves Coffee Hour: "Australia," Susie O'Brien, foreign exchange student, University of Adelaide, Reves first floor lounge, 5 p.m. Tuesday, April 27 Music: Guns 'N Roses, at Roanoke Civic Center. Corruption: Happy Birthday to Ulysses S. Grant, 1822. W &M Theatre: "Death of a Salesman," PBK. 8: 15 p.m. Music: Jesus Jones, at the Boathouse. Institute of Early American History and Culture Lecture: "Good Wives Saturday, April 17 and Nasty Wenches: Work, Sexuality and Social Order in 17th-Century How not to run an invasion: Bay of Pigs, 1961. Virginia," Kathleen Brown, Institute library, 7:30 p.m. Call ext. 11114. Speaking of pigs: Happy Birthday to J.P. Morgan, 1837. Earth Day: sponsored by Student Environmental Action Coalition (SEAC), Wednesday, April 28 Sunken Garden, 11 a.m. For information, call ext. 14125. Concert: William and Mary Orchestra, PBK, 8 p.m. Concert: The Gentlemen of the College, CC ballroom, 8 p.m. Music: The Sampler, at the Boat House. W&M Theatre: "Death ofa Salesman," PBK. 8:15 p.m. Music: Zag Man Zig, at Flood Zone. Thursday, April 29 Marcia Stuart: Joan of Arc leads Orleans, France to victory over English. Sunday, April 18 Town & Gown Luncheon: musical program by the Botetourt Singers, CC Best Oralist: Happy Birthday to Clarence Darrow, 1857. Ballroom, 12: 15 p.m. Music: Dave Matthews Band with TR3, at Brown's Island. Music: Testament, at the Peppermint Beach Club. W&M Theatre: " Death ofa Salesman," PBK, 8:15 p.m. Also, April 18 at 2 p.m. Monday, May 3 • --- Concert: Williamsburg Symphonia, PBK, 8 p.m. Monday, April 19 Better late than never: Connecticut ratifies Bill of Rights, 1939 . . Saturday, May 8 Lecture: " Public Schooling, Religious Liberty and American Liberalism," Exam Period Ends! Stephen Macedo '79, professor, Harvard University, Marshall-Wythe 119, 7:30 p.m. Tuesday, May 11 Concert Series: The Modern Jazz Quartet, PBK, 8:15 p.m. Call ext. 13276. Beach Olym pics, Dan v. Dave to be settled in Nagshead, host: Missy Callahan. Music: Screaming Trees, Pond, and Poster Children, at the Boathouse. Wednesday, May 12 Tuesday, April 20 Lynn & the Tool Kit give a farewell performance at Kelly's Bar in Nagshead. Mein Kampf: Adolf Hitler born, 1889. Health Law Seminar, in Norfolk. Friday, May 14 Garden Week: tours of President' s House and guest cottage and Sir Christopher What goes up, must come down: U.S. space station, Skylab, launched, 1973. Wren Building. Call 253-3059. Graduation Cocktail Party, 9 p.m. Bloodmobile, W &M Hall, I to 7 p.m., sponsored by Alpha Phi Omega. Call Pres.ident's reception: for graduates, their parents and 1993 honorary degree 253-0228 for an appointment. recipients, Campus Yard, President's House. Women's Studies EveningForum: video: "MississippiMasale:'Washington 201,7:30 p.m. Saturday, May 15 Graduation BBQ: Noon at the Law School Wednesday, April 21 Order of the Coif Ceremony: 5 p.m. Remember the Maine: U.S. declares war on unwilling Spain, 1898. VA Bar July Filing Deadline Concert: Concert Band, Wren Building, 5 p.m. Sunday, May 16 Thursday, April 22 Candelabra: Liberace born, 1919. Origin of divorce law: Henry vm ascends the throne, 1509. Graduation Breakfast: 8:30 a.m. Town & Gown Luncheon: "Possible Solutions to the Yugoslavia Crisis," Main Campus Graduation: I p.m., Zable Stadium (W &M Hall ifit rains) Anne Henderson, professorofgovernment,CC Ballroom, 12:15 p.rn. Graduation: Whenever the main campus graduation ends! Zable Stadium. THE AMIcus CURIAE Sports Monday, April 12,1993 18

Diamond Notes 1993 Baseball picks: Pitching identified as key to success By ERIC CHASSE Maybe the fact that they haven't tions to which the front office 7. Detroit: Hitting, hitting, hit­ Braves, though I think the An­ It's easy to tell that spring won a World Series since the has damned it. At least young ting ... as the antithesis of the gels would lose that one as well. has begun in earnest right here in Crimean War broke out had guns like Phil Plantier and De­ Braves, the Tigers should logi­ •••••••••••• the good 01 ' U S of A: the grass something to do with it. Injuries rek Bell will get the opportunity cally finish in the exact polar And now for something com­ is greener, the birds sing sweeter, in the middle infield have to learn from established stars opposite position as their At­ pletely different. classrooms are empty--espe­ doomed the Cubs to a poor start, like Gwynn, McGriff and lanta alter-egos. And they will. Springtime is a season cially during classes--and, most and there simply isn't enough Sheffield. American League West: marked by many blessed events, importantly, with a hearty "Play there to recover. 7. Colorado: The thin mountain I . Chicago: It's about time the not the least of which is the ball! ", baseball season is here. 6. Pittsburgh: Jim Leyland may air should provide for a lot of Sox did something right. With a beginning ofa new baseball sea­ Perhaps it is merely coinci­ be the best manager in baseball, fireworks. Unfortunately for the team full ofsuperstar hitters and son. It seems somehow appro­ dence, but I find some cosmic but with no, and I mean no, Rockies, most will be from the strong pitchers, the time is right priate that the grand old game be significance in the fact that the pitching to speak of, and pre­ teams in the visitor's dugout. for the Pale Hose to take their chased away by the icy fingers same day the best NCAA bas­ cious little to trade for more American League East: place as one of the game's elite of autumn, only to reappear, re­ ketball tournament in years-­ pitching, a fourth consecutive l . Toronto: Sure, the Jays took teams. Besides, time may be newed, with the first warm eleven years, if you ask me-­ division title is simply out ofthe some hits from free agency, but running out: Pudge Fisk'snot40 breezes of March and April. It ended, the new baseball season question. the division isn't as tough as it anymore. has always been this way. Flow­ began, as if some great sports 7. Florida: This may be the easi­ used to be, and these guys know 2. Minnesota: Dave Winfield ers bloom, sweaters get packed guru in the sky decided to fill the est pick of all. Fortunately for how to win. The acquisition of' will get to fmish his career where away and umpires yell, " Play impending void of sports noth­ the Fishies, expectations are low Darrin Jackson from San Diego it all began, albeit about 75 years Ball! " It is the natural progres­ ingness even before it arri ved. and the fans in South Florida was key, shoring up a question­ ago, and Kirby Puckett contin­ sion ofthings, signifying that all That being said, on with the will love them no matter how able outfield defense and pro­ ues to love the Twin Cities al­ is well with the world. fearless predictions for 1993: many games they lose. viding more right handed punch though it costs a bunch more Baseball in the spring is per­ National League East (pro­ National League West: to an already strong lineup. now than last year. The Twins' haps best suited to be captured nounced "N Least"): 1 Atlanta: Pitching, pitching, 2. New York: With perhaps the problem, however, mirrors that by an artist's brush: wisps of I . New York: Sooner or later, pitching ... 'nuff said. For all best everyday lineup in the di i­ of the Red Sox: who pitches clouds floating ever sodeJicately these high priced crybabies are those fans who believe that ma­ sion and markedly improved after the first two starters? over pristine stadiums which going to get it right, and thisjust jor league baseball had no busi­ starting pitching with the acqui­ 3 . Texas: I pick the Rangers to do house immaculate grass and could be the year. After all, they ness expanding due to a dearth sition of Jim Abbott and Jimmy well every year, and every year sculpted dirt; a six- ear-old child have Bret Saberhagen in an odd­ of quality pitching, just look Key, the Pinstripers could con­ they let me down. But do I basking in the warm springtime numbered year, Howard John­ south. The problem isn't that tend in '93, but the better bet is lean}? Noooo! Just the same, sun in the bleachers, holding son back at the least objection­ there aren't enQu gh good start­ to wait a )'1::(11 VI twv whill:: thdr with a ll that hining, ana im­ aaa's tatterea glove in one llana able position he could play, and ers, it's just that they all play for young anns mature. proved defense via Billy Rlpken and a hot dog in the other; the less of a media circus now that the Braves. 3. Baltimore: Acquiring the two and Benj i Gill, not to mention an kid is sitting breathlessly on the the Boss is back in New York. 2. Cincinnati: The Reds are Harolds, Baines and Reynolds, established closer in the person edge ofhis seat,anxjouslyawait­ Besides, this is the worst divi­ clearly the second best team in rounds out a solid batting order, of Tom Henke, the Rangers ing the foul baH that he knows is sion in baseball; any of the top the league, maybe in all of base­ if you don't mind playing six could contend. coming his way. It is a sight that six teams have a legitimate bal l. Unfortunately, they play in first basemenJDHs (read: de­ 4. Kansas City: If at first you would make Norman Rockwell chance at winning. the wrong division. The real fense is suspect). And this guru don't succeed .... The Royals stand up and take notice. 2. Montreal: With perhaps the question is whether they will is not convinced that Fernando have been burned by free agency Unfortunately, as the recent best young talent in the league, fight it out to the end, or give up Valenzuela is the answer to the before, yet the money continues boating tragedy in Florida has the Expos will be in the hunt for the ship once they're ten games team's pitching depth problems. to flow from Kaufman's coffers. pointed out, art sometimes imi­ years to come, but this year the out of first at the All-Star break. 4. Boston: I know no one else is This year's free agent imports tates life all too closely. This pitching is thin, especially with 3. Houston: Revitalized pitch­ picking the BoSox this high, but include David Cone and Greg year, flowers are blooming and John·Wetteland starting the sea­ ing and young talent usually that's why I make the big bucks. Gagne. While this is an impres­ umpires are yelling, but not all is son on the disabled list. Watch make for a potent team, but with Since the end of a disastrous '92 si ve team, in the strong AL West, well. Forsix little children spring for a mid-season trade. large question marks at short­ campaign, the Beantowners have it just won't be enough. will never again signify the birth 3. St. Louis: The nucleus of stop and in the closer's role, the undergone a major facelift, leav­ 5. Oakland: The king is dead. of a new season or a grand Lankford, Jeffries and Ozzie Astros may have a hard time ing them with better hitting After an unprecedented run of reawakening after a long, cold Smith makes for a competitive finishing in the upper division (Dawson and Calderon), better success over the past few years, winter. To these children spring team, but inexperienced pitch­ this time around--but wait 'till relief pitching (Russell and Tony LaRussa and the A's will will forever be a time ofloss and ers will be the downfall of this next year. Bankhead) and infinitely better sink into the second division. I ofsorrow . Baseball has survi ved squad. A strong comeback by 4. Los Angeles: Lack ofpitching team chemistry (no more Boggs, know I picked them for fifth last such tragedies in the past, and Todd Zeile would help, but how will hurt, but the Dodgers sim­ Reed or Plantier) than last year. year as well, but sooner or later will certainly do so this time as long can the ageless Lee Smith ply can't be as bad as last season. 5. Cleveland: The team of the (probably later) I'll be right. well. The families, with the maintain his bullpen excellence? Even partial comebacks by (late) '90s has signed all its young 6. Seattle: Lou Pinella hates to support ofa nation behind them, 4. Philadelphia: Many "ex­ Strawberry and Davis will push stars to long-term deals and is lose; Lou Pinella manages the will persevere. The players will perts" are jumping on the the club toward the .500 mark. simply awaiting the opening of Mariners. Therefore, Lou Pinella go on playing. And the artists Phillies' bandwagon, and, ad­ 5. San Francisco: Baseball pur­ its new stadium to make a legiti­ is in for a long summer. Ken will continue to paint the images mittedly, they do have a potent ists beware: unless Barry Bonds mate title run. Griffey and Edgar Martinez are of the game. Only now, the offensive lineup. But who's can pitch and sell hot dogs, as 6. Milwaukee: Losing Paul legitimate superstars, but with colors on the pallets are dimmer; going to pitch? Danny Jackson well as hit, field and run, the Molitor will hurt, but not nearly four rookies pitching, it will be a the grass is replaced by cold hard is a stiff, and Mitch Williams is Giants overpaid for his services. as much as Chris Bosio' s defec­ slow season in the Kingdome. astroturf; and the canvases con­ consistently on the verge of self Nevertheless, with a few key tion to Seattle. The Brewers 7. California: The Angels are, tain a few more clouds than be­ destruction. And who's going to trades, this might even be a have always been able to hit, and well, terrible. They lost 90 games fore. And the child in the bleach­ catch the ball? Any team with watchable squad, if you like 15- under firey manager Phil Garner last year, and peddled one of the ers, wrapped tightly against the Juan Bell at shortstop is in defi­ 12 slugfests. they run as well. But without the league's best pitchers (Abbott) last vestiges of winter, has a nite trouble. 6. San Diego~ This bargain base­ arms to carry them, Brewers fans to the Yankees. Perhaps the best solitary tear running down his 5. Chicago: The Cubbies were ment team of the '90s should should suffer through another series of the year would pit the face. Rest in peace, Steve Olin decimated by free agency. live up to the meager expecta- disappointing season. Angels against the Richmond and Tim Crews. Monday, Apri112,1993 THE AMIcus CuruAE 19 AmICUS computer-like rankings Worn.en womp men for B-ball title; Soccer wins save face By BILL MADIGAN with a 2x4. M-Wers. But before we inspect ground SOCCER ... The one bright spot in the BASKETBALL . . . Now that Texas Hoops won the women's intramural zero, I present the final floor hockey poll: wasteland of intramural sports was soc­ Tech has cut down the net and orth title by derailing Train Wreck, 37-20. I. Madigan Sucks cer. Two out of the three teams finished Carolina is being sized for their rings, it's The carnage was led by the offensive 2. Kroener Still Sucks the regular season undefeated. Daises, a time to crown the king of all basketball magic of "Fresh" Erica Swecker and 3. Bruins co-rec team featuring such I L standouts Icings, the M-W intramural champ. And Kerri "Gary" Gilmore, and the wall of 4. Sticks In The Crease as John " Ashes To" Ashley and Rich it's not who you might think. The coaches defense was built on the backs of Kathryn 5. Don't Call Me Fat "Mayor" McDerrnit, shut out all four of and sportwriters have voted (though I " E.F." Hutton and Terri "Cloth " 6. Mother Puckers their opponents. In their regular season only counted mine), and the winner is: Keeley. And just like the Fab Five up 7. Kennan finale, they filled in the Abyss on the I. Hoops north, these ladies will be around for two 8. Earnest Borgnines strength of the defensive play of Kathryn 2. Black Letter Law more years, assuming they don't get lured Madigan Sucks takes the crown de­ "E.F." Hutton. Despite a season-pro­ 3. Stuttering Parrots away by Mavericks, which is probably spite the sacrilege, as they were the only longing injury to George Snead " A Beer" , 4. Just Do It more likely than actually getting a legal team to win more than one playoff game. the Daises hope to chain together a few 5. Capitol Offense job these days. They blasphemed their way to the semis wins in the post-season. 6. Leftovers Commandeering the second banana before being ketchuped and mustarded The other undefeated, the Dream 7. Crimes Against Nature crown is Black Letter Law. The only by Hot Dogs & Buns. The only other M­ Team, ended the season with 3 wins and 8. I L Court Jestors men's team to make a respectable run at W teams to even win a playoffgame were I tie, while outscoring their undergrad 9. Earnest Borgnines it, Law came within three points of an Kroener Still Sucks, who redistributed opponents 18-4. The only blemish on an 10. Men's C appearance in the finals. They were the wealth of the Capitalists before being otherwise face-saving intramural sport II. Sleepin' Dogs bought out by the Corporate Raiders, 37- chased and dumped by Dump & Chase, for M-W was F.D.S., who compiled a 12. The Rockets 35, in the semifinals before a capacity and the Bruins. An unnamed source close hideous 0-3-1 record despite the leader­ 13. Ugly crowd. The Stalker-to-Richardson-to­ to the Bruins has made allegations that ship ofJay "Green Eggs And" Hambrick. The championship banner of M-W Bates combination that had gotten them Eric "Paper" Chasse, the team 's goalie, Well, that's it for intramural sports for will hang from the rafters of I L sensation, to the big dance turned out to have two may have had his play affected by the fact this semester. In August, we'll have a Hoops, this season. I know you're prob­ left feet when the last song began to play. that the championship game for that di vi­ new group of recruits to fill the void left ably saying, "But Bill, Hoops is a Despite the elegant prose of team bard, sion was scheduled during the NCAA by the graduating and the retiring. And a women's team!" or, " Even Ugly could Chris " Anthemum" Koomey, who never finals, and that maybe the Carolina Blue whole new batch of punny nicknames. beat them on a good night," or, "How fails to supply the most Iyrical,and novel, got in his eyes as the puck slid between Special thanks to Chris Koomey, who can you rank a women's team above all of press releases, the sting of letting the his legs. " Paper" Chasse could not be was one ofthe few who regularly dropped the men's teams," or, " Weren't they game split away was no less painful. reached for comment. me team information. Chris had far and ranked munber II last week?" Now, Other M-W teams that registered a Meanwhile, the other M-W hockey away the most poetic and enjoyable press even though I usually don't respond to pulse included the I L Jestors, who, de­ teams were getting their heads handed to releases I've seen in the many years I've my critics with well reasoned, logical, spite a miserable regular season, made it them. No other team made it past their been doing this. Thanks also to Brad and insightful analysis, in this case, I'll to the finals in the Men's C division first playoffgame. What a disappointing Wagshul and Andy Ollis who also kept make an exception. Hoops was the only before being dismantled by Built For, and season this has been. We can only hope me updated on I L action. M-W team to win any of the intramural the Stuttering Parrots, who eked out two that next year's draft will bring a little See you next season. In the meantime, titles. And even though I trashed them wins before getting deflated by Air Jabba. hope to the future ofM-W sports, and that use the off-season to get in shape and last time, team captain, Llezelle' 'Grave" FLOOR HOCKEY. .. The sport of some of that dead weight will finally don't forget to report for training camp by Dugger showed me the error of my ways, pucks and creases was equally unkind to graduate. September 1.

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Saliva cannot be a the disease although it has not Cartee (3 L) has been working on Cox, acknowledging that the rity to be self-censoring. Mary mediwn for transmission. been easy. The couple said they the vending revenues issue all boy's death was not caused by Morello, founder of Parents for This infonnative presenta­ just take one day at a time. year. He said that he and Short the video's graphic sex scenes, Rock and Rap, argued that par­ tion was followed by some first­ Twenty-one months ago have been fighting to keep the stated " there are few sexual ents should take responsibility hand accounts of AIDS from Constance Howard lost her son vending revenue issue on the objects that can be used to kill for the music that their children community members. Frank to AIDS. She believes he con­ " front burner," of the BSA's yourself. " listen to and not to permit the Sergy was a successful real es­ tracted the disease through in­ agenda. After hearing the arguments, legislature to make those deci­ tate agent. His wife, Debbie, travenous drug use in which he According to Short, the the moot court justices decided sions for them. Bill Wilder (3L) was a nurse. Happily married engaged on a recreational basis. vending revenue used to go (7-2) in favor of the video's pro­ took the position that the legisla­ for several years, they later dis­ After three years of his fight exclusively to dorms and grad ducers. Speaking for the major­ ture should " em power" parents' covered that they are both HIV against pneumonia, diabetes, schools. " Then aboutthree years ity, Tim Goplerud (2L) found ability to control their children's positive. In fact, Frank, whose cancer, blindness and medical ago the BSA began including that the video was not obscene behavior and that " bad music" T -4 cells have fallen below the expenses of over $1 million, she $50,000 of vending revenue in and that insufficient evidence leads to " bad effects." 200 level threshold, has been said he was ready to meet the their budget because the College existed to find that it caused the Jimmie Briggs, a columnist classified with full-blown AIDS. Lord. It was the first time she board wouldn't let them raise boy's death. Kyle Johnson (2L) for the Vii/age Vo ice, disputed They both spoke of the effect had told her story. It was a the student fee ." Next year's dissented and stated that the claims that a causal connection this disease has had on their painful tale and not a pretty one, budget calls for a reduction in majority opinion " renders the exists between rap music and relationship, their jobs and their but, according to Howard it had BSA's share of the vending Miller standard meaningless" violence. Neal Grover, a local outlook on Ii fe . "It's a speeding to be told. Ifher story saved one revenue from $50,000 to a because it only requires testi­ musician and song writer, pro­ up process," said Frank. Things person, she said, then her suffer­ maximwn of $20,000. mony by " journalists from the fessed the belief that music is they' had contemplated doing ing would not be in vain. Cartee said the appropriation Village Vo ice" to find that a " outside the scope of censor­ later in life. they have to do now, Throughout the discussion, was supposed to be for only a video has serious artistic merit. ship" and that attempts to regu­ although Debbie notes that they audience members were encour­ year, but BSA continued to The " ever-waffling" Chief Jus­ late music " only interrupt the have given up on their hope of aged to ask questions. Sponsors include it in their revenue tice, Professor John Nowak, who flow of commo{fjties." Grover having children for fear that they ofthe presentation recognize the projections and this year he offered "a concurrence agree­ also noted that " as a child, [he] may transfer the virus to them. fear that plagues the topic of began to pursue the issue. " The ing with both sides," expressed survived a lot of bad music." Debbie is still a practicing AIDS and believes that only law school is one of the biggest concern about the possible con­ M-W Professor John Nowak and nurse, but Frank is on full dis­ through frank, unrestricted dis­ beneficiaries of that money," nection between violent behav- Harvey Eluto, president of Vir­ ability and points out that some­ course can such fear be replaced Cartee said, "because we spend ior and violent or obscene mate­ ginians against Censorship, also times the costs of fi ghting this by empathy and care. a lot of money in the vending rials. Professors Neal Devins participated on the panel. machines. So it really hurt us and Paul ~------, friendly and quite attentive, al­ disproportionatel y." Marcus a nd FEED ME, from page 15 though she was swamped the In addition, the way in which 2Ls Christos entire time we were there. Price­ the money is distributed will be Badavas and area on the Other side of the errS{ ,,,-ise , the food was moderately more equitable. "Under the old Marc Peritz floor, and upstairs seating as well. expensive, with entree prices system, they took the first judged. However, as we were being taken averaging about $15. But, the $50,000 right off the top, then The e ven­ to our table, we overheard the cost of the food includes the anything that was left over was ing symposium host discouraging another couple friendly, tavern-like atmosphere divided based on the ended with a from waiting in the bar area be­ which makes Indian Fields Tav­ percentages," Short explained. panel discus­ cause it was full. ern a pleasant backdrop to a "The new way, all the money sion and town Our waitperson was very dinner with a group of friends. will be divided by percentages, meeting with and they will just stop getting participants any if they reach the $20,000 representing mark. " many differing According to Short the viewpoints on revised system should not only censorship and mean more money for the SBA, music. Roger but also a more predictable Mudd moder­ income stream. He expects this ated the discus­ at Symposium to make future budgetary sion. Dennis exhibit to read the contested lyrics. planning easier. Martin, Presi-

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